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He never would have thought that he and Saikou would be friends. Actually, he would never allow himself even to think that he and Saikou could be friends. Him and that snob? No way...
Everyone knew that their families absolutely loathed each other. He always noticed how his mother's sharp eyes threw hateful glares towards the others family at school events. He can see how his sister's lifeless eyes become darker whenever Saikou’s name is mentioned or she sees the man walking past her in a school hallway and he pisses off Ayato too with his suspicious stares towards him or his snarky comments whenever the pair have to work together for a project.
The feeling was mutual from both sides. His family hated Saikou’s and Saikou’s family hated his.
He was barely even able to mention his name at the dinner table or his house, the mood would turn sour just by the first syllable of the other male's last name. The only one who didn’t hate them in his family was probably his father.
Honestly, this unnecessary rivalry could have been avoided if his family didn’t have that stupid condition, to begin with.
He remembers when he was born, that all of his relatives were surprised because he was the first boy in a bloodline that consistently had girls. His mother had assumed for a long time that the condition affected him too because of his emotionless behaviour. He remembers when he was six and Ayano was four that she had told them of this condition and that it had affected her too when she was young. She said that the two of them shouldn’t fret, because the right person would come into their life and “fix them”.
At the time his father was very desperate to help them somehow. So they took them to doctors and psychologists. They couldn’t help Ayano, but it did turn out he wasn’t suffering from the condition after all, he just sucked at expressing his emotions. So they just send him to a therapist, which kind of helped.
But his mother did seem... disappointed. At least he assumed.
After that, she didn’t pay as much attention to him. He got closer to his father, but his main priority was still his sister, because of her “mysterious” condition.
During his childhood, his mother often taught his little sister things he didn’t understand. And by understanding he means he didn’t understand why would she need to know this stuff. Like how to clean blood properly and stuff like that. It was weird to him.
Well, he did end up learning as to where these skills were being put. And not in a pleasant way. Nor in a situation, he would expect.
It was late, the school was already half empty. He was about to go home but needed to change out of his martial arts uniform. He happened to pass by one of the school's storage closets. He was about to pass by when he heard a muffled scream from behind the closed door. He thought that maybe someone had accidentally hurt themselves and needed help so he was about to open the door and help. But his fingertips stopped before he could reach the door handle. Something in his gut was telling him not to. So he opted to just take a look through the keyhole and then maybe open the door.
So he did that. It wasn’t hard to notice his sister inside the room. She was cleaning the floor. Which confused him. Why was she even at school, she told him she is going home about an hour ago. And why was she cleaning? Cleaning time ended hours ago.
Logically, he could have gone home, because he was tired and it’s none of his business. But, Ayato was incredibly curious and maybe he could get his perfect, little sister in trouble for once. Maybe he could get a reaction out of her for once too.
He hid behind a corner until she closed the doors and went away. When he was sure that there is no one to be seen he entered the storage closet. When he entered, there wasn’t anything in particular that stood out. Everything seemed to be in place, except the smell. The aroma was sweet and at the same time had a metallic tang to it. It was coming from the instrument case. His hands slowly reached to the lid and the sight inside of it made him jump back.
His heart hammered in his chest and his breathing picked up. He didn’t see that correctly, right?
He was hesitant to open the case again, but he ended up doing it. Inside it was his schoolmate's corpse. Their lifeless eyes were staring back at him. There was a somewhat fresh stab wound in their neck, a bruise had already started forming around it. For some reason, he tried to check their pulse, but it was very clear that the person is dead.
He could feel sweat and goosebumps starting to form. He also felt nauseous. This was sick, all of this was sick.
This couldn’t be his sister that did it? Right? But the muffled scream came when she was there and that voice definitely didn’t belong to her.
And at that moment, everything seemed to make sense. His mother's ridiculous advice and lessons started to make sense. But that meant...
He didn’t know he could even feel so many emotions at once. He was angry because now his mother's distant attitude towards him hurt him more. She cared for Ayano more because she was a serial killer and he wasn’t? What kind of nonsense is that?
Then he also felt scared. What if they killed him too? Would they kill him if they found out that he saw? Would they make his death seem like an accident? Make him go missing? Hire someone else to do the job?
And then there was guilt. The person could have been alive if he wasn’t a coward and opened the door. But Ayano could have killed him because he was a witness. But, he was stronger than her, he could have probably fought against her. Now this person's death felt like it was his fault.
And lastly, he was at a loss for what to do. Should he tell a teacher or keep quiet? He can’t just leave a dead body rotting here. The least he could do for this person was let their body be found and let them be buried properly as any person deserves. He started to think about the other's family, he couldn’t imagine what pain they would be going through when they find out that their loved one was brutally slaughtered by someone at their own school. And it felt even worse knowing the killer was someone of his own blood. He felt like he was run over by a truck and he could barely hold his tears from the storm of emotions that was brewing inside him.
So he did the right thing and ran to find a teacher. Thankfully some teachers were still in the faculty room doing paperwork or getting ready to go home. He breathed heavily as he stopped.
“Aishi-kun, is everything alright?”
“S-sensei, it’s terrible. I found one of the students in the storage closet, they don’t have a pulse and they have a wound on their neck.”
Everyone seemed to tense. One of them followed him.
“How did you find them? Did you see someone with them?”
Should he tell the truth? That his own sister ruthlessly killed some random, innocent student? First of all, he was afraid of what would she do if she found out it was him who saw, secondly, she still was his sister...
“I-I heard a muffled scream when I was about to go change into my regular uniform, I thought that maybe someone needed help so I was about to enter. I had a bad feeling so I checked through the keyhole and saw another person. I waited till they left and then...”
“Did you see their face?”
“No, they were wearing a mask...”
He felt horrible for lying through his teeth like that. He stood there as the teacher examined the instrument case and called the police. He told the police officers the same thing and he was let free. He returned home an hour later than intended, but no one thankfully questioned him. Not like he expected them to. His father did look at him with a questioning look, but he chose to ignore it.
He didn’t go to eat dinner, nor did he sleep that night. He was simply unable to. He felt sick to his stomach knowing that he was living with one or even possibly two serial killers in his home. He managed to maybe get a wink of sleep once, but after about fifteen minutes he awoke from a nightmare. Nightmare of a body that he saw in the case today, this time with the bloodied figure of his sister standing over it with a sadistic smile twisting on her features.
He felt like crap when going to school the next day. He skipped breakfast just to leave the house faster. And even if he stayed he wouldn’t be able to stomach anything. As he was changing his shoes he heard an all too familiar voice behind him.
“You’re quite early Aishi...”
He didn’t need to turn around to recognize Saikou’s stern voice.
“Yeah...”
He did the rest of his routine in silence. He could feel the other raising his eyebrows in confusion. Saikou was probably expecting one of Ayato’s, by Saikou’s words, so-called “smart-ass responses”. He honestly didn’t feel like getting into petty fights with the other. He was tired, so very tired. The image from his nightmare still bore in his mind. Very graphically in fact...
He wandered off to the library at first to kill off some time. But he ended up falling asleep while reading the book. He woke up to someone touching the top of his palm.
“Brother, classes are starting soon...”
He flinched at his sister's touch. Her touch felt disgusting after his yesterday's discovery. He tried to put up a normal front.
“Y-yeah...Thanks.”
He got up and left as fast as he could. His sister's presence made his skin crawl and it felt awful to feel like that around his own sibling. The image of the dead body flashed in his mind yet again. He dug his nails into his palm as a way to calm himself down.
When he sat down in his seat he could already feel the silver-coloured eyes looking at him. And he felt them right up till lunchtime. He was about to go to lunch, but he remembered that in his rush to leave faster, he hadn’t prepared or taken something to lunch. Well, at least he could use the lunch break to catch up on some sleep. He wasn’t very hungry anyways.
“What’s up with you today, Aishi?”
He picked his head up to look towards the man standing inside the door frame. It was actually the first time he had looked at the other today. The other had a weird glint in his eyes. If he didn’t know the other better he would say that he is worried. He turned his head to the other side and laid it inside his folded arms.
“Nothing...just didn’t sleep well.”
He knew damn well the other didn’t believe him, but he also knew that the other wouldn’t question him further. Ayato wouldn’t even answer if he did. Saikou wasn’t his friend, he wasn’t obligated to answer to him.
The rest of the day was a breeze. He mostly tried catching up with some sleep. Which wasn’t all too successful, he would just end up seeing those terrible flashbacks. He also had gotten a headache which didn’t help. He ditched the Martial Arts club just for today, claiming he was feeling ill (which he technically was). Budo was very calm and understanding and said he hopes that he would get better soon.
The news about a body being found spread quickly. He had heard some students whispering about it during cleaning time. His skin crawled yet again from the reminder. If he heard correctly, they would be having a memorial service tomorrow.
He and Ayano entered home and took off their shoes. It was incredibly uncomfortable walking next to his sister and hopefully, it didn’t show. Their mother greeted them with a wave and her signature smile. She walked up to him.
“Ayato, dear, you weren’t at dinner yesterday and you skipped breakfast too. Did you prepare some lunch at least?”
“I got some food from the vending machine...”
“You didn’t, don’t lie...”
For once Ayano’s observant nature was incredibly annoying. His mother would be eyeing him like an eagle...
“Fine, I didn’t. It’s fine, I’ve just been feeling a bit sick.”
His mother looked a bit worried. She placed a hand on his forehead.
“Temperature seems to be fine. Maybe you should stay home tomorrow? We could go and see a doctor.”
“I’m fine mom, it’s probably just from stress or something. School has been pretty rough, I’ll just go to sleep earlier.”
“Fine, but you should eat dinner before going to sleep.”
“Okay...”
He felt incredibly awkward sitting at the table. He mostly picked on his food, only managing to eat a few bites. His mother told his father about this. He looked at him, concerned.
“Are you sure you want to go to school tomorrow? You look a bit pale son.”
“And you barely touched your food..” Ayano added.
“I’m fine, I’ll be going to bed.”
“What about your food?”
“Not hungry...”
He got up and pushed his chair. Then he went upstairs to his room and did his usual routine before bed. He laid inside his bed, hoping for sleep to come quickly. But it didn’t, unfortunately. He tossed and turned in his bed relentlessly trying to fall asleep. But to no avail. He ended up falling asleep an hour before his alarm rang.
He decided to eat breakfast at home and to prepare some lunch. His mother was already eyeing him when he stepped into the kitchen. He sat down and she put a cup of tea and a bowl of miso soup in front of him. He thanked her and she smiled at that. Ayano came into the kitchen soon after and mother placed the same dish and tea for her. She also thanked her, and mother smiled at her as well. They ate in silence. The food made him feel slightly better, it was light so he didn’t feel sick from it and it made him feel less tired. Their mother gave them their bento boxes and they headed to school.
The first thing he heard when entering the school was about the memorial service. It made him sick all over again. The image from his nightmare got its slimy hands on his brain yet again.
His legs felt like lead when they headed towards the gymnasium. Seeing the other face in the portrait made him want to cry on the spot. It was unfair to them and unfair to him as well. They died for nothing and he had to suffer from nightmares, sleepless nights, guilt, fear, and anger. Just because of one person, just because of his sister...
He saw how Saikou was looking at him. He was looking at him with that suspicious and calculating look. He probably suspects that he’s the culprit.
He wishes he could dig himself inside the ground. His day couldn’t get worse...
The next two weeks weren’t very different. He continued to drown in his misery. He skipped school on the second week, but only about three days. On the third week, he had managed to pull himself together. He started acting more like himself again. When he did his mother went into character again and didn’t pay as much attention to him again.
The teachers were going easier on him, giving him less homework and looking at him sympathetically. They probably knew...
Saikou’s gaze, however, was as suspicious as ever. The Student Council had been eyeing him weirdly as well. The other male was even avoiding throwing his snarky remarks at him.
For the next two months, everything seemed fine. He was finally getting enough sleep, eating properly and attending his club activities consistently. He also wasn’t as uncomfortable with Ayano around. Maybe it wasn’t her after all...
And then yet another thing dropped on him like a boulder.
Everything seemed fine. He and Budo had a good spar in their usual place inside the Japanese gardens. They were talking about something as they headed to the school plaza. A bunch of people were surrounding the area, which was odd. It also was incredibly loud, he couldn’t understand a thing everyone was saying. He and Budo squeezed to the front to see what the commotion was about. People let them.
He freezed instantly at the scene.
It was his sister, she was pinned to the ground by one of the teachers. Her hands were covered in blood and she had an angered look on her face. It was probably the first time he had seen her express emotion so vividly. Near was a person laying on the ground. He heard the nurse saying to one of the students that she was alive and stable, just unconscious. But she looked dead. Her skin was pale as ghosts, not much different from his own. He heard his sister cursing at the teacher, he wanted to say something, but he couldn’t. His mouth only uselessly opened.
All of a sudden he felt cold, he was dizzy and sick. Sick to the point he felt like was about to vomit. The sudden lightheadedness made him lose balance, but Budo cached him swiftly.
“Ayato-kun, are you alright?”
“I-”
He couldn’t answer the other. And it was getting hard to breathe. The areas of his chest and throat felt tight.
Suddenly another person grabbed his other arm.
“He’s in shock, we need to get him out of her.”
Budo and the other person dragged him to one of the benches inside. They sat him down. Everything felt so surreal. That couldn’t be his sister...There is just no way. This was just all too much, he couldn’t concentrate on anything, nor the situation, nor his surroundings. He felt sicker by the second by the lack of oxygen.
Someone's hand took his and checked the pulse point on his hand. It felt comforting and helped him feel grounded.
“His pulse is elevated. His breathing is shallow too. We need to help him calm down.”
“Should we get a nurse?”
The warm hand holding his hand was slipping away so he grabbed it. And held it tight. He wasn’t about to lose the only thing that was seemingly helping him. The other person's hand was tense at first, but the muscles in the other hand slowly unwound and held his hand in return. There was silence for a moment, breathing was getting easier.
“Can we help you somehow?”
He processed the question slowly. He squeezed the other hand again to concentrate,
“W-water...I need water...”
“I’ll get some water,” said Budo.
He heard the other get up and leave. They sat in silence and thankfully the other didn’t speak, just held his hand. His mind was slowly becoming less foggy. And he could finally breathe properly. All of this was making his head hurt. The other's thumb started slowly brushing against his palm.
Soon Budo came back with the water. He helped him with drinking it and by then he was relatively calm. He finally looked at the owner of the soft hand. It was...Saikou.
His cheeks reddened at the realization. He probably looked pathetic if even Saikou felt the need to help him.
“Do you need help with anything else, Ayato-kun?”
Budo’s voice was calm, but he was visibly shaken up. He couldn’t blame him, he would also be at a loss on what to do.
“Some fresh air, can you help me get to the rooftop? My legs are too shaky...”
The two of them helped him get up. He held Saikou’s hand all the way up there. They helped him sit down on the bench. He took a big inhale of the clear air. His body slightly shuddered in relief.
“Is that all, Ayato-kun?”
“Y-Yeah...I think..”
Budo smiled at him and said he would call him in the evening to check on him. Saikou was about to leave as well, but he held his hand in a firm grip. The other looked at him with a confused look.
“Just stay...please. I...”
There was a pause. Was he actually about to say it?
“...Don’t want to be alone right now.”
Weirdly enough the other complied and sat down.
“Why didn’t you ask Masuta to stay? He is your friend after all.”
“I don’t know...I guess because your hand is warm...and soft.”
The other was quiet, and then he laughed. Which was unexpected, he has never seen the other even smile.
“What’s so funny?”
“Really? Because ‘my hand is warm and soft’?”
“Shut up!”
Ayato blushed at the realization. Why did he say that? The other will never allow him to live over that.
The both of them were quiet after that. By now Ayato was already over the shock. But Saikou's hand let his brain know that he really wasn’t alone and not fall into a panic all over again. Saikou broke the silence after a few minutes.
“You knew...didn’t you?”
“Knew what?”
“You knew that Ayano was a murderer, right?”
Ayato didn’t answer at first. Because his brain was still in denial, he wished it wasn’t true. But now he definitely couldn’t deny it.
“Y-yes...About two months ago, I heard a scream and saw Ayano there, then I found the body after she left...”
“And you didn’t tell anyone it was her?”
“...No”
Saikou turned to him, letting go of his hand.
“Are you nuts? Do you not understand that you put so many others at risk? If you told the teacher back then we could have avoided the girl down there getting hurt!”
Saikou screaming at him didn’t help. It only made his headache worse and made him feel shitier about himself. He couldn’t help the anger that started building in him and at the yell that came next.
“I KNOW, OKAY?’
The other was caught aback by his outburst. Ayato felt a bit bad for yelling at the other. He placed his head in his palms and took a breath to somewhat calm himself down. Then he started to speak.
“I know. But could you imagine finding out that your sister was a killer? I was devastated. I didn’t want to believe it. I-I felt afraid to be at my own house. I couldn’t eat or sleep properly for weeks. And then realizing that my mother and half of my relatives might be the same didn’t help...”
“I felt...still feel so..so guilty for not opening that door sooner. Maybe if I did, that person would still be alive.”
The other grabbed his shaky hand again.
“You shouldn’t blame yourself for their death. You weren’t the one who killed them”
He squeezed the other's hand yet again. Saikou was right...but still.
He stuffed his free hand inside his pants pocket and took out the bottle of pills. He plopped open the lid with his thumb and let one of the pills drop inside his mouth.
“What are those?”
“Mood stabilizers. I often have problems with controlling my anger or emotions.”
“They're safe, right?”
“Yeah, I’ve been taking them for a long time. They just make me a little drowsy...”
They stayed quiet again and enjoyed the view. He watched the shapes of the clouds, cherry blossom petals and the few birds flying by.
“You know Aishi...You’re not that bad after all...”
“Was that really a compliment that just came out of your mouth?”
They both laughed.
“...You aren’t that bad yourself Saikou...”
Saikou smiled.
“So, are we friends now?”
“Yeah...”
Maybe being friends with Megamo Saikou wasn’t that bad after all...