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Thursday, July 14th, 2022
“Lily, I—” Severus felt tears burning in her eyes, but couldn’t do anything about it as they hadn’t really formed yet.
“What is it, Sev?” Lily gently laid on hand on her partner’s knee.
“I—I—I….” How was she supposed to say this? “I think we’re going to break up.”
The redhead's face dropped, and she brought her hand back to her body, crossing her arms over her diaphragm. “You don’t want to be my boyfriend anymore?”
“No! I mean yes, I mean….I want to date you, I just don’t think you’ll want to date me…after I tell you.”
“Tell me what?” Her right hand returned to Severus’s knee, the other falling to her own lap.
“Just promise me something.”
“Promise what?”
“Promise me that even if you don’t like it, we break up, you won’t tell anyone else. You won’t make me give up your parents' love, make me lose our friends.” Severus begged.
“ Of course I won’t tell anyone else, make people stop liking you. What kind of person do you think I am?”
“It’s not you, Lils, I’m not sure if anyone will like me when they find out….It’s really bad.”
“What is it, baby? I promise you can tell me anything.”
“I think—” A few tears fell and she sniffled, but didn’t try to wipe them away; it was pointless. “I think I’m a girl.”
“Is that all? Of course I don’t want to break up with you over that.” Lily moved up on the bed to sit right next to Severus and pulled the other girl down to lay together as she hugged her.
“B-but it’s weird.”
“No it’s not. What’s so weird about being a girl? I’m a girl.”
“You’ve always been a girl though.”
“So have you; just because I’m finding out about it now doesn’t mean it wasn’t true before.”
“Does it really count if no one, not even myself, knew?”
“Well, I didn’t find out your favorite color was blue until we were nine, but your favorite color was still blue.”
“But, I knew it was my favorite.”
“Well, fine then, no one, not even yourself, knew about your autism until, like, three months ago, but you were still autistic.” Lily insisted.
“That’s different.”
“How?”
“Nothing changed. No new clothes, or pronouns, or anything.”
“Well, first of all, you’re going to be getting new clothes regardless. My parents were barely holding off on buying you new stuff when we were just friends, now that we’re dating and they see you regularly there’s no way you can stop them. But, also, things did change. You got noise canceling headphones, stim toys, educational accommodations, and so on. Anyway, we’re teenagers, things are probably changing faster right now than they ever will.”
“I don’t know.”
“What if it was me? What if I came to you and said I was a boy, or that I had been assigned male at birth? Would you break up with me or do any of that stuff you’re scared of me doing?”
“Of course not! That’d be horrible.”
“Exactly.”
“Well, yeah, but….What if our friends think differently?”
“Sevy, our friend group is literally the gayest in the school, I really don’t think anyone will care.”
“We are not the gayest.”
“People call us “The Skittle Squad” .”
Severus laughed. “I guess so….How did that even start?”
“It’s your fault.” Lily accused. “Well, you, Lucius, Narcissa, Barty, Evan, Andromeda, Anastasia, Bellatrix, Rita, and Regulus. People used to call you all “The Slytherin Skittle Squad” , but then our friend groups combined and we all got grouped together.”
“I guess because Skittles are rainbow.” She laughed again, rubbing away the dried tears.
“Taste the rainbow.” The redhead solemnly agreed.
“Wait a sec. Isn’t Rita a Ravenclaw? Why is she part of The Slytherin Skittle Squad?”
“Don’t act like you all didn’t claim her, especially since she got with Bella. I’m not sure if she’s been in the Ravenclaw common room, let alone dorms, since second year.”
“Fair enough….Is it really okay?”
“What?”
“That I’m a girl.” Severus sobered up.
“Of course, honey. I’ll love you no matter what, and so will our friends.”
“What about your parents? What if they get angry about you being with a trans girl?”
“Well, they won’t get angry about the girl part, and they’re not transphobic, so I can’t imagine that being a problem either.”
“But, wouldn’t they rather you be with a boy?”
Lily laughed. “You know how both me and Petunia are bisexual?”
“Yeah?”
“Well, when she started dating her boyfriend, Davy, mom jokingly told me that I would be disowned if I dated a boy instead of a girl as well. Like I said: she was joking, of course, but that makes it clear she wouldn’t mind. And dad agreed.”
“I’m going to tell them before we go school shopping, if they do buy me stuff I want it to be what I really want, but….I’m scared.” Severus eventually admitted once she had taken Lily’s words in.
“I get it, but I’m sure it’ll be fine.”
“Yeah….I’m not even sure about everything, though.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean: I know I want She/Her pronouns and more stereotypically feminine things, but I have no idea what to do about my body. Or even my hair. And, what I’m really worried about, my name.”
“Do you want to change your name?”
“I don’t know….Yes, but I’m not sure if it’s just because I feel like I have to or what. I don’t hate being called Severus, so is there really a point in changing it?”
“Just because you don’t hate being called a certain name doesn’t mean you wouldn’t prefer being called a different one. You don’t need a reason or to feel a certain way to change it, you just have to want to.” Lily assured, still hugging the older, but smaller, girl.
“I just….I really like the idea of the name Juno, it’s Roman like Severus, queer related, and just sounds good, but….Is it weird?”
“I think Juno is an amazing name, it fits you. If that’s what you want to be called then I can’t see any reason why not. It’s definitely not weird.”
“Really, Lils?”
“Of course…Juno.”
Juno smiled at the same time that she sniffled to keep from crying again. “Thank you.”
“It’s nothing.” Lily dismissed.
“It’s everything.”