Work Text:
Time
Event Type
Description
5/16
6:34 pm
Neofriend
a___k3275392865 is requesting to become your NeoFriend
From:
hey lol r u a bot?
idk who u are but that’s one dodgy u/n
From:
[Report]
This user is not a NeoFriend.
Sakamoto, it’s me... Akechi. I have something important to discuss with you. Accept my “NeoFriend” request.
From:
WHAT THE EFF MAN y r u messaging me on fn NEOPETS
From:
[Report]
This user is not a NeoFriend.
Shouldn’t you be careful not to swear?
Anyway, you didn’t leave me much choice. You’ve blocked me on almost every other platform, and I urgently needed to get a message to you.
Will you hear me out, at least?
From:
howd u even get my user
From:
[Report]
This user is not a NeoFriend.
Sakura gave it to me. She claimed you were still active, though based on your username I have to assume you first created this account as a child.
Listen, Ren’s graduation ceremony is tomorrow.
I don’t have a present for him yet.
From:
SHUT UP ABOUT MY NAME
From:
also u suck holy s. how do u not have a present for him ur dating
From:
[Report]
This user is not a NeoFriend.
That’s why I’m seeking your help.
Ren and I have a unique bond. However, you have been “friends” with him for longer than I have. In the normal sense, at least.
I admit I don’t know a lot about his interests. We haven’t been together long, remember?
Will you help me? I don’t want to disappoint him.
From:
btw i still dont get why hes dating you
From:
[Report]
This user is not a NeoFriend.
No need to get jealous.
From:
why not get him a BOOK since ur such a g/d nerd
From:
[Report]
This user is not a NeoFriend.
He’s actually already read everything I’ve recommended. It’s something of an ongoing challenge.
Can’t you think of anything more unique?
From:
wait did u srsly make a neopets account just to message me
From:
[Report]
This user is not a NeoFriend.
As I said, you have me blocked literally everywhere else.
Even the bank, which I didn’t know was possible.
From:
oh is that y u havent paid me back for dinner i forgot lol
From:
[Report]
This user is not a NeoFriend.
Look, I know you don’t think much of me, but you don’t want your best friend to be disappointed on such a special day, do you?
I can’t think of anything he doesn’t already have.
From:
dont u think its kinda sad his bf cant think of what to get him
From:
UGH FINE
From:
ren likes cooking gardening coffee makin drinks arcade games fortune telling cleaning video games soap operas horror movies reading studying taking baths buying drinks guns and a bunch of other stuff
From:
[Report]
This user is not a NeoFriend.
That’s everything.
You’ve just told me he likes everything.
From:
well he kinda does
From:
[Report]
This user is not a NeoFriend.
This was useless. I don’t know why I bothered.
From:
aint u kinda goin about this the wrong way dude
From:
[Report]
This user is not a NeoFriend.
What are you talking about?
From:
i mean ur dating. ur his boyfriend.
From:
if ur gonna get him a present shouldnt it be from u?
aint the whole point that ur different to just being his friend
From:
tbh he’ll probably like anything you give him but idk doesnt it mean more if it’s special to u or smth
From:
[Report]
This user is not a NeoFriend.
...
You might be right.
I really have no ideas, though.
From:
[Report]
This user is not a NeoFriend.
In confidence, this relationship has been quite stressful. It’s not something I’m used to.
I know you’ve recommended I just trust my own judgement, but that’s difficult to do when I’m so out of my depth.
Ordinarily, if I needed to get someone a gift, I would just pick something expensive and generic.
That won’t satisfy him, though.
From:
ur way overthinking this
From:
[Report]
This user is not a NeoFriend.
I know. I tend to do that.
From:
even if u got him one of ur sparkly diamond tissues or whatever hed still like it. hes REN
but i see wat u mean
From:
akechi i dont like u
From:
[Report]
This user is not a NeoFriend.
Thanks. The feeling’s mutual.
From:
but i gotta respect that ur actually thinking about this.
i think ren’ll appreciate that more than watever u get him
From:
i dont understand it at all lol. but he actually likes u a lot for some reason
so i dont think u can mess up.
From:
[Report]
This user is not a NeoFriend.
Thank you.
That actually sets my mind at ease.
In that case, do you think he would prefer a bottle of Dom Pérignon or is Moët & Chandon more his taste?
From:
ok uve really misunderstood me here
From:
[Report]
This user is not a NeoFriend.
Haha. Just a joke.
I wouldn’t actually expect you to be able to differentiate them, let alone make a recommendation.
From:
god why does he like u i just cant see it
y dont u just take him for dinner somewhere nice and spend time with him like a human being
From:
[Report]
This user is not a NeoFriend.
You mean... Gift him with my attention?
From:
HOW did u take a NORMAL THING and make it sound SO OBNOXIOUS
YEA THOUGH LITERALLY JUST HAVE A NICE TIME TOGETHER
let him know ur proud of him and stuff
From:
u ARE proud of him, rite???
From:
[Report]
This user is not a NeoFriend.
Of course I am.
From:
howd u get those little dots and stuff in ur text btw
From:
[Report]
This user is not a NeoFriend.
...The accents?
From:
u know rens always saying ur too busy to hang out and i think it makes him kinda sad. so yeah just dont neglect him
dont get all obsessed with finding a fancy restaurant ok? just make it about him for once.
From:
[Report]
This user is not a NeoFriend.
He’s sad?
I didn’t know that. I’ll make an effort to rectify that.
I know you don’t like me, but he actually is important to me. I won’t take this as you giving me your approval, but your assistance is appreciated.
From:
whatever dude
From:
honestly its pretty cool u went to all this effort. u made a neo acct just to ask how to make him happy.
its pretty annoying for me, but im glad u actually care about treating him right.
From:
wait a minute. i thought u just got this acc to talk to me.
y do u have a gold snow wars trophy?
From:
[Report]
This user is not a NeoFriend.
Oh.
I was waiting for you to respond.
A lot of the games on this website are broken. Snow Wars is just battleship, yes? It was a decent way to pass the time.
From:
HOWD U GET GOLD ALREADY WHAT THE F? IVE ONLY GOT BRONZE ITS SO BORING
From:
[Report]
This user is not a NeoFriend.
It’s not that challenging. There’s a strategy to it. I found it quite relaxing.
From:
[Report]
This user is not a NeoFriend.
I have to make plans for dinner tomorrow night right now, but since you helped me, I think I owe you. Not just for the idea, but for the advice.
Would you like me to show you my strategy sometime?
From:
oh thatd be cool actually yea
hey uh if u actually wanna play neo i can show u the ropes
From:
[Report]
This user is not a NeoFriend.
A few hours ago, I would have refused. This is a children’s game, after all.
But I’m actually having fun. So I might take you up on that.
Your “Pets” are very flashy. How did you customise them like that?
From:
dw dude ill show u if u want
ive got a spare lab map too u can have if u want
ur zafara better get ready shes gonna get decked OUT
From:
[Report]
This user is a NeoFriend.
I appreciate it.
From:
ok go get stuff for ren
u should still get him a present too btw but dont freak out about it just get him like a bracelet
From:
[Report]
This user is a NeoFriend.
He likes jewellery?
From:
o yea
didnt i mention?
From:
[Report]
This user is a NeoFriend.
...
From:
[Report]
This user is a NeoFriend.
In any case, thank you, Sakamoto.
I’ll see you later.
We should have a match of this Destructo game some time.
From:
f yea ill crush u
From:
u know
ur not actually that bad, maybe
From:
[Report]
This user is a NeoFriend.
Haha. Really?
Save your evaluation until after I destroy you at this game.
From:
nvm f u