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Dazai disliked sleepovers.
He didn't hate them, because hatred was a very important word that he'd rather use for his adoptive father, Mori, than for anything else, but he for sure wasn't pleased when he was invited to spend the night at Chuuya's. Especially when he was told that there would be people there. Human beings that he probably knew but were mostly friends with Chuuya, because Chuuya's social circle was somehow constantly evolving and he never settled with one single group of friends.
He must've been making some kind of face, because Mori called after him in the living room. Mori never called after him when he was in the living room, because Mori worked for ungodly hours and had chastised Dazai too many times to count for having been disturbed in the middle of his paperwork. Dazai immediately smelled something fishy. He let out an exaggerated sigh, letting his bag slip off his shoulders, and dragged his feet into the living room.
Mori was sat in front of his laptop, glasses pushed up against his nose. His knowing violet eyes were looking right through him.
"Where, pray tell, are you going at seven p.m?"
"At Chuuya's," Dazai muttered. His left calf itched. He rubbed it with his other leg, making himself look like one stupid-looking flamingo.
Mori pinched the bridge of his nose. "Dazai, until the day you turn eighteen, I'll expect you to warn me when you have sleepovers at your boyfriend's house."
Warmth flooded his face. "He's not my boyfriend!"
"Sure." Mori had the audacity to look bored.
"He isn't! I'm too young to have a boyfriend, you know?" Dazai wasn't sure what he was saying, but he knew he had to defend himself. "Especially to date a little puppy like him! He's too annoying. I hate him."
"You're thirteen and a half, Dazai," Mori half-smiled, "But fine. I won't push it. Just warn me next time, yes?"
"Yeah, fine," Dazai grumbled, feeling patronized as heck. "I'll text you if I need immediate rescue, or something."
"Good. I'll keep my phone on vibrating."
"Fine," he repeated.
Mori hesitated, but at last, he gestured for him to come closer. Dazai flushed a bit, but he obliged, and hid his excitement as best as he could when a cool hand settled over his head. Mori was rarely ever physically affectionate. Mori was rarely ever affectionate at all, really, so when he did do something, it was like Christmas came early. Dazai didn't dare breathe as Mori brushed his hair gently, almost like a father would. Wow. Well, that was one heck of a thought.
Dazai glanced toward Mori's laptop screen and checked the time. Nineteen-zero-nine. That was nine minutes too late. He took a step back as Mori leaned away and removed his hand.
"I have to go," Dazai said. He realized too late it was pretty much unnecessary.
Mori nodded. "Will you take the bus?"
"Eh. Probably." The walk to Chuuya's house wasn't that bad, fifteen minutes or so, but Dazai did not have the energy to spare.
"Alright. Be safe. Don't follow strangers in dark alleys if they offer you candy."
Dazai giggled internally, though he only let himself smile a little on the outside. He winked at his sort-of-dad-but-not-really and performed his best fake military salute before bolting out the door. He grabbed his backpack in a hurry and almost slammed the door with how fast he was running. Not that he was eager to see Chuuya , out of all people. He just wanted to be away from Mori as soon as possible. Yeah. That was definitely it.
The sun wasn't quite set yet, a consequence of the darn weather — seriously, Dazai detested summer with a burning passion — and the air slightly warm. Dazai hoped his few bandages wouldn't make him sweat too bad. He considered taking them off, briefly, but then decided against it. Chuuya always seemed to dislike them, after all. Dazai was one hundred percent sure that the redhead thought he wore bandages because of some terrible, traumatic thing, when it really was just a result of Dazai being stupidly bad at learning how to ride a bike.
Dazai checked his bus stop app on his phone. The nearest one was a little less than two minutes away. He drew in a lazy breath and began walking, the fabric of his shorts slightly irritating against his skin. He disliked summer clothes. At the very least, he could wear his favorite cardigan right now, when the weather wasn't half too bad. During the day, Dazai had to put on weird, disgustingly revealing clothing that he— disliked. That he disliked very much.
There was only one person at the bus stop— a middle-aged woman with braided dark hair and chocolate skin. He winked and blew a kiss at her, and she pretended he did not exist. Dazai spent the entire bus ride laughing uncontrollably, texting his friends 'LMFAOOOOOs' without any context whatsoever. Life was good.
He descended the bus with his spirits somewhat lifted, and walked towards the small alignment of houses — all in peach pink tones — where Chuuya's house was hidden. It was a cutesy, warm-looking home that was the exact opposite of the family inhabiting it. At the very least the shade was reminiscent of the household's hair color.
In front of the door was a light-skinned girl with strikingly dark hair. Dazai recognized her immediately. He sighed in despair as he approached her. She grinned, all teeth, her purple eyes glinting. Why was she here? She was not supposed to be here. He thought she was in her room, like always, probably playing Tomodachi Life on her 3DS or something. But here she was.
"Why, hello there, little brother."
"Do not call me that, thank you very much," Dazai said amicably. She was the same height as him, which was sort of funny considering she was three years older.
"I came to chaperone you," Yosano told him with a smirk.
He stared at her. "Why? I'm positive the dog's demon of an older sister is here, anyway, because she's always here, so there really is no need for you. Go away."
Yosano rolled her eyes, waving a perfectly manicured hand, "Yes, well, that's the point. I'm trying to woo her, you see, which I can only do if I have an excuse to be here. And guess what? My sassy little brother is here to bicker with his classmate and be a moody idiot to literally everyone else, so how convenient is that?"
"I'll tell Mori you're exploiting me for personal gains."
" I'll tell Mori about your secret chocolate hiding spot."
He gasped, frowning. "You wouldn't."
"I definitely would."
Yosano was always the worst person to argue with. Mostly because she always won. He sighed, crossing his arms on his chest. "Fine."
His annoying, terrible sister bent over to press a kiss to his cheek. She giggled against his skin before she pulled away — "How sweet of you!" — before linking their arms together and making their way inside the house. Dazai internally regretted ever being born.
The house smelled like chestnut and cocoa powder, probably a result of Chuuya attempting to bake a cake all on his own, or with the help of his five — each equally as useless — surrogate fathers. Garlands and colored balloons were hung a little everywhere over doorframes, walls, ceilings, and furniture. Here and there, confetti were scattered in odd patterns, as if someone had attempted contemporary art with the tiny colorful chunks of paper.
Yosano dragged him towards the kitchen, where people were most likely talking. That, or Dazai was hearing voices. He wasn't sure what would be the best outcome. Inside the modest but well-decorated kitchen (which was also in shades of pink, seriously, why was this a thing?) were too many people for Dazai to handle. He didn't bother hiding his deafening sigh.
He could count… nine or ten people, maybe. Yuan, a small girl with pale brown hair who liked to dye the ends pink. Shirase, a dumb-looking boy who, in a similar fashion, seemed to rather enjoy looking like a grandpa with his light grey hair. Higuchi, a nervous-looking girl who was staring at Akutagawa, the emo of the bunch. Tachihara, the local ginger-haired maniac who just so happened to be madly in love with Chuuya. Chuuya's older sister, Ozaki Kouyou, who was as terrifying as she was beautiful. And of course, the five dads.
Dazai did not know their names and was not interested in knowing. They were all so different and so similar at the same time it was, quite frankly, hard to keep track of.
There was a musician, if he remembered correctly, that he called Piano Man. A doctor that he, very inspiringly, named Doc, an ornithologist — that was Albatross — and a dude that looked like he was constantly freezing, Iceman. And the one who once gave Yosano advice for lipstick, who was, just as creatively, renamed Lippmann.
Yes, Dazai was just terrifyingly smart, wasn't he?
All of the younger kids seemed to be watching a horror movie where people had to kill some girl before dawn or they would all explode. Dazai wasn't sure he wanted to know. Chuuya and Kouyou were icing a cake that looked to be half-melted and half-burnt, while the parents were… playing cards? In the middle of the living room, sitting on the floor, like they were teenagers and not (supposedly) responsible twenty-something men.
Dazai stared at Chuuya. "Hi."
Chuuya looked absolutely shell-shocked. "Why the fuck are you here?"
Kouyou mumbled something about watching his language. Dazai ignored her. "Because you told me to come."
"No, I mean—" Chuuya blushed. "I know. I mean, I didn't think you'd… I didn't think you would."
"Yeah, well." Dazai shrugged.
He didn't know what to say. He felt, pretty oddly, embarrassed. Dazai was never shy, never flustered, never anything even remotely self-conscious, and yet this ginger, stupidly short, loud excuse of a human being managed to leave him speechless.
Yosano smirked at him, all knowingly and mighty as if she was any better when it came to Ozaki Kouyou , and made her way to said girl. They both looked at each other with enough tension to feel awkward. Then, they broke into smiles and hugged like they didn't very obviously want to suck faces with each other.
Dazai just looked away. Seriously, girls. They were unbelievable.
Piano Man looked up from his game — was that Monopoly? — and greeted him with a smile. "Oh, hey, kiddo. Nice of you to come here."
Albatross, Dazai's favorite, opened his mouth wide when he finally noticed his presence. "Wow. Heya, kid, what's up? Chuuya was sure you wouldn't come."
"We told him you would," Doc added.
"Didn't even believe us, the brat," Iceman smirked, though his voice betrayed his fondness.
Lippmann blinked up at him, then sighed. "What they're trying to say is, thank you for coming to our son's birthday party. Call us if you need anything."
Dazai just shrugged helplessly, feeling his cheeks heat up. He became as weak as a noodle when adults praised him. Or when anyone praised him, really, but that wasn't important.
"Shut up," Chuuya hissed at all of them, taking Dazai by the arm a tad too roughly. He dragged him to the couch — why was he always getting dragged around by everyone as of late? — where the rest of the guests were waiting.
Akutagawa's eyes lit up when he saw him. Higuchi looked at Akutagawa and imitated as well as she could his air of absolute wonder.
"H-Hello," Akutagawa stammered.
Dazai didn't answer.
Chuuya pinched him above his hip. It was like a jolt ran up his spine, and Dazai jumped away like he was struck by lightning. "Be polite," Chuuya growled.
Dazai stuck his tongue out at the redhead but obliged, vaguely nodding toward the raven-haired boy. "Hi, or something."
Akutagawa probably passed out.
Tachihara smiled up at him, "Heya! Chuuya was, like, totally desperate over whether you'd come or not."
"That's not true!" Chuuya immediately exclaimed, though his cheeks turned cherry red.
"Yes, it is," Higuchi piped up, only to duck behind Akutagawa when Chuuya threatened to punch her into the next dimension.
Dazai usually disliked them quite a bit, but if Tachihara and Higuchi were willing to fluster Chuuya for him… Well, he might have to change his point of view a little. Just for science. Obviously.
"Why are you guys all telling him that?!" Chuuya despaired, as red as his fiery hair. "If anyone says that again, I'm seriously fucking leaving."
"Oh, dear," Kouyou mused, "Would that be a bad time to say that you almost didn't invite him simply out of fear he wouldn't show up?"
Chuuya yelped, looking outright betrayed, and promptly stomped out of the room. Tachihara and Higuchi giggled together. The five (supposedly) responsible twenty-something-year-olds giggled as well, and so did Kouyou and Yosano, and Dazai was left to wonder if there was something wrong in the brain of every single person in Chuuya's social circle. Only Yuan and Shirase weren't laughing, either offended on behalf of their best friend or too engrossed in the movie to care.
Dazai didn't quite know what to do with himself. On one hand, if what everyone said was true, then that meant the chibi was afraid of what Dazai thought of him. That meant that Chuuya cared about Dazai's opinion. But on the other hand, it might just be meaningless teasing.
Once again, Dazai wasn't sure which option would be more preferable.
"Uh," he said, "Does anyone know the wifi password?"
Yes. Very good. A safe question, one that would not make anyone giggle like middle schoolers in front of their crush and raise even more questions on the (possible) feelings Chuuya might hold for him.
Kouyou looked at him as her laughter died down, "He changed it about half a year ago."
Half a year ago. That was about the amount of time Dazai had known Chuuya for. They had met because of a complete incident in which Chuuya, who originally came from France, was actually transferred into the wrong school and into the wrong class and just so happened to be Dazai's deskmate for about two weeks before the higher ups realized their mistake. Even if they were now students in opposing schools, they were still… sort of friends. Chuuya liked to show him off, at the very least, and Dazai didn't mind the company.
It worked out well enough in its own weird way.
"Oh." Dazai squinted. "But how come you don't know it?"
"No idea. He changed it on my own phone and refuses to spill."
Dazai wasn't one hundred percent sure that Ozaki Kouyou could be trusted, but there was little he could do about it anyway. He turned to the five dads — why were they five, and seriously, how were they adults — to ask, but they immediately shook their heads.
Lippmann spoke up, "I have no idea, kiddo. You might want to try out a few things to see if you get it right? I've been told you and Chuuya have similar interests, after all."
"...Right."
Needless to say, Dazai and Chuuya did not have similar interests. Who the heck had told him that, Dazai didn't know, and didn't even want to know. But, oh well. There wasn't anything he could do now except try.
He pulled out his phone, sitting on the edge of the couch as Tachihara and Higuchi swarmed him by both sides.
"Try, uh, a game you both like?" Higuchi proposed.
Dazai tried Street Fighter III, Mario Kart 8 Deluxe, Minecraft, Tetris, Halo, Portal II, Mass Effect II, and even Undertale , but nothing worked. He shrugged and shook his head. Oh well. He didn't have much hope in the first place.
"Do you guys, uh…" Tachihara squinted. "Well, heck, I don't even know. You two don't have anything in common."
Dazai beamed down at him. " Thank you for realizing this. I now don't dislike you nearly as much as I used to."
"Dude," Tachihara laughed nervously, "Thanks, but, like, why did you ever hate me?"
"Oh," Dazai said distractedly as he attempted a couple of other combinations of movie titles and games and other stuff that maybe Chuuya liked, "It's because you crush on Chuuya."
Tachihara began to cough, so hard he fell off the couch. Higuchi stared at him for a good half minute before she glanced back up at Dazai. "That was brutal… He's still in denial, you know?"
"Oh", he repeated. "Wait. I have an idea."
He felt something akin to dread in his stomach, but Dazai typed in 'ilovetachihara' as the WiFi password. It did not work. He sighed in relief, and immediately flushed scarlet when Higuchi wiggled her eyebrows knowingly.
"Ooo, I like your ideas."
They then began to enter every single name of every single person that they for sure knew could interest Chuuya. Which meant, no girls, no one shorter than him and no one too soft to handle his snark. They also crossed out Tachihara for good measure.
Once they reached the end of the list, it was almost ten minutes later, and Chuuya was still nowhere to be found. Higuchi was slumped over Akutagawa's shoulder — whom was still passed out — and Dazai was laying down upside down, his feet over the back of the couch, his head almost touching the floor. It was just on a whim that Dazai decided to enter his own name. Just on a whim.
He then quite literally screamed and hit his head hard against the ground.
"Holy heck," he said, and stared at the little 'connected, securitized', as well as the five bars present on the WiFi logo. Just for the hell of it, Dazai went on Google and typed 'hshshsjksjjksjk'. Zero results, but Google did not say he was offline.
Because Dazai was connected to the Internet.
"Did you find it?!" Higuchi gasped.
He looked at her. He nodded.
Understanding flashed in her eyes as she started giggling like a madman. He couldn't blame her. He felt so warm he wished he could run outside and never see the light of day ever again. His face was probably flushed, too.
And Chuuya chose this moment to appear, rubbing his eyes. He must've been crying a little. "Uh, what the fuck did I miss—?"
Dazai threw his phone at him. " 'iloveosamu' , seriously, chibi?! I've never seen a more stupid way to confess."
Chuuya's mouth opened and closed a few times. He turned around and left the room again. Dazai got up, nodded solemnly at Higuchi and Tachihara and his sister and his sister's girlfriend, and walked right after the stupid redhead.
And he might've been smiling when he reached for Chuuya's hand, but, well, that was his business. No one else needed to know.
Just as no one else needed to know that his own WiFi password was, very inspiringly, 'ilovechuuya' .