Archive of Our Own ^beta

Gina was buzzing from the day, her mind whirring in a thousand different directions with complicated thoughts and feelings.

First, the day was filled with exaggerated drama, fueled on by Carlos’ insane idea to present themselves as the messiest group of teens the state of California had ever seen. Her head practically spun trying to keep up with all the threads of drama Carlos weaved amongst the cast of Shallow Lake – but, she had to give credit where credit was due. Channing seemed very impressed with the amount of insanity they had managed to produce in just one afternoon.

Second, EJ was driving her up the wall. He had lied to her, but that wasn’t even the real issue, not really. It was the fact that despite her voicing exactly why she was unhappy with him, he didn’t seem to even realize that he had done anything wrong. He had confided in someone else before he had confided in her, and she was struggling to find it in her heart to forgive and let go, when all she really longed for in a relationship was to be put first .

Which brought her to her final mess of thoughts – Ricky. She was still churning on their conversation on the bench outside the Barn, wondering what it all meant, what subliminal messages Ricky was trying to communicate to her through his wide, doe eyed stare. The look in itself was enough to melt her insides, make her tummy flutter in a mess of feathers and glitter, and she really didn’t know if she would ever overcome that feeling when she was around him.

But, his words made it even worse:

“I guess it’s really hard not to just say what you feel, you know?”

She did know. She knew it well.

She just didn’t know if he knew what she knew.

And she was confusing herself even more.

For practically all of the school year, before EJ and her had really started getting closer, Gina had felt those exact words sloshing uncomfortably around in her stomach. She wanted to say something to Ricky, to demand answers from him, to understand whether she was insane to think there was some tether between them that had been severed the moment she told him not to call her anymore. But, she couldn’t. So, she didn’t.

And now there he sat, putting into words exactly what she had been feeling for practically the whole year, looking at her like it would pain him to look anywhere else, swallowing down the bump in his throat like he was physically restraining himself from telling her something life altering, and she wanted to yell at him just to say it , to stop holding on to whatever reservedness he had decided was necessary between them.

So, to say her head was a little wired that afternoon was probably the understatement of the century. And yet, despite it all, all she really wanted to do after her spat with EJ was talk to Ricky. Despite the confusing feelings shrouding her thoughts, he really had made her feel better, and Gina was starting to suspect that he was the only one who would ever be able to truly do it.

Like the universe was sending her a sign, in her aimless wandering, she had stumbled upon Ricky and Carlos chatting to each other on a bench – Ricky had his face in his hands, Carlos was awkwardly patting his back, gnawing on a thumbnail as he watched Ricky. Gina started to edge toward them, a little bit apprehensive, not wanting to interrupt if they were having a moment.

But, she decided to come a little closer when Ricky lifted his head and her concern for him outweighed her apprehensiveness. Sure signs of distress could be seen etched onto his features, his mouth shooting rapid fire words at Carlos. Carlos was nodding along, looking alarmed at the rate of information that was spouting from the curly haired boy’s lips, and as she inched ever closer she started to pick up on what was being said.

“–and if I tell her that, that means I’m going to have to tell her about the chocolates , and she’ll hate me for lying, because she hates liars, and it will be a massive disaster, and she’ll never want to speak to me ever again!”

Gina stopped short, her breath hitching in her throat, because Ricky and chocolates really could relate back to one thing and one thing only, and she could hardly even process what it was that she was hearing.

“Chocolates? Ricky, you’re practically speaking in a different language right now,” Carlos replied, shaking his head, “I don’t even understand half of what you just said.”

“The stupid chocolates, Carlos!” Ricky repeated, as if Carlos was the ridiculous one for not knowing, “I bought Gina chocolates on Valentine’s Day because her mom forgot to, but she thinks they were from her mom.”

“What?” Carlos spluttered, leaning forward almost comically to gauge to see whether Ricky was lying, “Okay, we need to back it up. Why would you do that, and why would she think they were from her mom?”

Gina, though, had heard enough. She backed away, careful not to be seen by the two boys, and then began sprinting toward her cabin, starting to feel a sense of nausea build its way into her stomach. She felt sick, and she couldn’t tell which thought was making her feel worse.

Was it the fact that Ricky had lied? She had texted him to thank him for the chocolates all those months ago, and he had pretended he had no idea what she was talking about. He had joked with her about how silly she was to make the assumption, and had made her feel slightly mortified for even suggesting it. She was still trying to work out the logistics for it – because how had he gotten in contact with her mother to get her to send the message? Why had he done that? Maybe she should have stayed behind to hear his answer after all.

On the other hand, her sickness could’ve been due to the realization that Ricky had gotten her the chocolates to begin with. On Valentine’s Day . After she had just expressed to him that she was feeling upset that her mom had forgotten. After she had told him that any girl would love a big gesture. After she had told him to go spend the day with Nini. He had gone out instead to get her chocolates.

Gina had finally reached her cabin and flung herself onto her bunk, screaming into her pillow and kicking her feet against the bedpost, sure the thoughts spiraling through her head were going to drive her to insanity.

She dramatically flipped around onto her back, and groaned into her hands, her fingers pressing into her closed eyes as she felt the beginnings of a headache build behind them.

“Are… you okay?”

Gina flung her eyes open, flushing hotly at the sight of Maddox sitting on her own bunk, her guitar in hand and an awkward expression on her face.

“Yes, of course,” Gina sat up robotically, straightening her crop top, “Why wouldn’t I be?”

Maddox paused, her eyes flickering to Gina’s crushed pillow, pink lip gloss smothered over the pillowcase fabric from her screams, before finding Gina’s gaze again, “Do you want my honest answer, or do you want me to be nice?”

“Please just be nice,” Gina muttered, feeling exhausted.

Maddox pursed her lips and placed her guitar gently back into its case, considering for a moment before ultimately responding with, “I know where the cafeteria ladies keep the ice cream. If you come with me to the mess hall I can snag us a pint and some spoons.”

Gina felt a sense of relief permeate through her, grateful to Maddox for not pushing the subject, and she simply nodded and let Maddox show her the way. 

She was beginning to feel slightly better, her thoughts less scrambled and less focused on Ricky as she waited at one of the long dining tables, watching people slowly pile in and fill up their trays with variations of meatloaf and steamed vegetables, the dinner rush hour beginning to build. It was in moments like that she wished she had her phone, so she could scream into the void that was the internet over everything that had just occurred to her, and try and make sense of what she had learned.

But, the universe was never kind to her – she learnt that from a very young age, the moment her mother had sat her down for the second time in one year, her legs not yet long enough to reach the floor from the mahogany furniture she had been sat upon, and told her they would be moving again.

It still remained unkind when she felt the chair shift beside her, felt a slight gust of air as someone plonked themselves down, felt a prickling sensation creep up her arm in the way that only one person could ever draw out from her.

She turned her head and winced at what she saw – Ricky Bowen, with his tray piled high with potato gems, grinning at her in that adorable way she used to relish in back when they were friends the first time.

“I finally got here early enough to snag the potato gems,” Ricky announced, his movements slightly skittish, as if he had something to hide, as if Gina didn’t know that he had something to hide. He pushed the tray slightly so it was settled between them, “Help yourself. I purposely left off the chicken salt because I know you don’t like it.”

Gina didn’t know her heart could pound the way it did when Ricky mentioned something she had told him maybe once several months ago. She didn’t know what to say to him – she didn’t know if she was mad at him, or grateful to him, or a combination of both – so all she could do was stare with uncertainty, sure she looked like she had encountered a ghost rather than her friend.

“Hey, is everything okay? Did something happen with EJ?” Ricky leaned forward and brushed his fingers along her elbow, and Gina couldn’t help jerking back.

She didn’t know what she was supposed to be feeling, but she knew that she shouldn’t be feeling a spark at the brush of his fingers against her skin, and she knew that she still felt slightly bitter toward him for lying to her, but she also knew that looking at him, she couldn’t quite remember the fact that he did.

Ricky looked stricken by her action, his hand still outstretched, staring down at it like it had committed a cardinal sin. He cleared his throat, clenched his fist and brought it to his lap, and then stared resolutely at the potato gems, speaking a little more huskily, like he was holding back something big, “Is it me? Because I know you said you were okay with rehearsal today, but if I made you uncomfortable I really am sorry. I can give you some space.”

And really that is what Ricky had always done, hadn’t he? He had been observant of what she was feeling and what she wanted even when she hadn’t verbally expressed what she needed, and he had always done something about it. He did it when he texted her a thousand times after she learnt she had to leave, even though she had told him not to. He did it when he got her those chocolates, knowing they were a big deal to her, even though she had told him to forget about it. He was doing it now – thinking her standoffishness was a result of their overly exaggerated rehearsal, thinking he was making her uncomfortable and giving her space without her having to ask.

She realized that whatever anger she had felt toward him with the initial shock of learning about the chocolates was quickly overruled by her overwhelming fondness toward the boy beside her, at his ability to drop anything for her, back then when she needed it, and all summer long too. She couldn’t let him think she didn’t want him around, because that was simply not true, despite the complicated and confused feelings whirling around inside of her with her newfound knowledge.

So, before he could step too far away, she shot out her hand and latched onto his fingers, keeping him in place. Ricky’s eyes shot to their connected hands, that pinkness that was ever present along the bridge of his nose during the summer expanding to his cheeks, and Gina tried to ignore that melting sensation she couldn’t seem to shake whenever he looked at her like that as she said, “I can’t eat these potato gems all by myself.”

Ricky stared at her for a moment, blinking rapidly, looking at her like she was some ethereal being that he couldn’t help but be fascinated by, and Gina felt her own blush heat up her cheeks as she gently tugged at his hand. He easily complied, sitting beside her again, and when she went to pull her hand away his own grip tightened slightly, keeping her in place.

Her breath hitched in her throat, and she grew even more heated at the feel of the palm of his hand sliding against hers, before he cleared his throat and pulled away from her, and Gina couldn’t help but notice the way he wiped his palm again his jeans, his actions nervous and jittery.

She felt much the same.

“The only thing that would make this better is if we had some milkshakes to dunk them in,” Ricky finally looked up at her, and Gina felt an immense sense of relief at their ability to settle into their camaraderie so easily.

“You’re in luck,” Maddox spoke up, suddenly appearing before them with the promised ice cream in hand, “Ice cream and milkshakes are basically made from the same things, so I don’t want to hear a word about it.”

“We have ice cream here?” Ricky exclaimed, his eyes lighting up, and Gina couldn’t help the giggle that escaped her lips. He turned to look at her at the sound, his expression seemingly almost proud at having pulled the noise from her, “What are we, prisoners? Why didn’t we know about this before?”

“It’s a conspiracy,” Gina replied, her voice silly in an exaggerated whisper, playing into his antics.

“We have to get to the bottom of this, Gi,” he said, a mock serious expression on his face, “This is as, if not more , important as finding Susan Fine.”

“Well, in that case, I’ll round the troops,” Gina couldn’t help the grin that spread across her face.

She would ask him about the chocolates. She would. But, he had seemed so stressed about them when he was talking to Carlos, and Gina didn’t want to ruin the lighthearted moment. So, she kept her mouth shut, and watched as Ricky tried to catch potato gems in his mouth, Maddox’s aim almost as awful as his coordination.

*

Glancing around, trying to spot her ever absent boyfriend amongst the blue team members, Gina sighed in annoyance. Not only had EJ missed half of the team activities, but he had also missed her basketball victory – she was trying to think about anything other than Ricky’s arms looped securely around her in that moment – and she was getting tired of waiting around for him.

“You got a partner?” Ricky showed up beside her, and Gina could barely decide whether the uncomfortable sensation in her stomach were nerves or surprise at his sudden appearance. Ricky held up some fabric, indicating they should pair up for the three legged race, and not really having any other reason to deny him – her boyfriend was MIA after all – she simply took the fabric from him and tied it around their ankles.

She muttered obscenities when it proved to be trickier than she expected, her fingers slightly trembling with the nerves she couldn’t seem to shake around Ricky after she had found out the truth about the chocolates. True, she was no longer angry at him for lying to her, but she still had a lot to work through. She didn’t know why he hadn’t just told her the truth, said they were from her mom and he was just helping her out, or any other reasonable explanation.

After the fifth time untying the fabric to retry, she heard Ricky breath out a few chuckles and kneel down, gently placing his hands over her fingers to stop her movements. She froze under his touch, and waited for him to make the next move, slowly pulling her hands away, “Let me do that.”

She watched as his fingers fiddled with the knotted fabric, loosening the less than stellar knots to retie them tighter, and barely suppressed a shiver when his fingernails grazed along the skin of her ankle, every fiber of her being attuned to his touch.

“There, much better,” Ricky grinned as Gina glanced upwards to look at him, shocked at how close their faces were, “What, did you forget how to tie a knot? At your age?”

“Shut up,” Gina replied testily, hoping it came out like banter, and she gently slapped a palm to his face to push his gaze away, feeling hot under his eyes.

He laughed good naturedly as they both stood up, and Gina noticed how he stood unnecessarily close to her, his arm brushing up against hers, his tank top ensuring that their forearms were skin to skin in a way that made her hot and shivery all at once. And then – something even crazier – he gripped her hand, locking their fingers together, and Gina almost yelped at the contact, feeling unbalanced by his current attentions when she was already so confused by his past actions.

“If I hold your hand, I can pull you up if you trip,” he explained, but his voice stuttered slightly, like he was trying to convince himself more than her.

Then, a moment passed, before he swallowed thickly and said, “I know you would prefer to do this with EJ. I hope we can have fun anyway.”

Gina felt her heart expand about five sizes, because even after everything they had been through, Ricky always seemed to find a way to remind her that he was thinking about her, about what she wanted, about what would be good and fun and nice for her . To think that Ricky only came over there because he noticed her looking around for EJ – it was totally unsurprising and totally and completely Ricky of him to do.

It made her think about the chocolates, something she’d been doing a million times a day since she found out about them, and his true motivation behind it. A voice she hadn’t let herself entertain until then seeped into her thoughts, telling her that maybe he had gotten the chocolates not because he felt an obligation to, but because he wanted to. Maybe he knew that it would make her feel better, and he liked making her feel good, the way she liked it when he smiled around her or laughed at one of her jokes. Maybe he pretended they were from her mom because he was scared of that thought, or because he wanted her to have a nice moment with her mom the way she knew he wished he had with his mom.

Maybe, maybe, maybe.

They won the three-legged race together.

By the end of the color war, when Corbin had rejected her request to imitate the Wildcat cheer, and she was feeling especially bummed by how every male figure in her life seemed to want to ignore her – except for Ricky, who practically threw himself at her to offer to do the cheer for her – she knew that she didn’t want her time with him that day to end. So, she invited him with her to the Barn, knowing he wouldn’t say no to her, and feeling slightly guilty over the fact that she wasn’t being entirely honest about what she wanted his help for.

“Whoa, where did you get all this stuff?” Ricky asked, picking up one of the rolls of blue tissue paper she was planning to use to create a promposal for EJ – something he would surely have to pay attention to her for.

“They were just leftover props Maddox said we don’t need for Frozen, so I helped myself,” Gina replied, picking up some fairy lights and fiddling with them, watching as Ricky prodded around at the decorations with interest.

“What are you planning on doing with them?” he asked, picking up a lantern and looking through it, his face contorted into a funny shape through the glass, and Gina couldn’t help the soft chuckles that escaped her lips.

He smiled wide at her over the lantern, placing it down again but not breaking eye contact with her. She should tell him the truth. She hated liars after all, and she couldn’t ask him to help her set up without telling him why, but seeing his content expression made her adverse to the idea that she was doing all that for EJ, who had hardly been with her at all throughout the day – heck, throughout the entire summer.

So, she pivoted, and said the first thing that came to mind, “I thought we could create a fort. I have some snacks, and the projector is still set up from the camp movie night. What do you say?”

Ricky’s eyes lit up, and he bounced on his feet, clapping his hands together, “That sounds so fun! I hope you grabbed the Twizzlers. Should I find the others?”

“No!” Gina called out a little too quickly, and Ricky stopped in his tracks, looking tentatively back at her, “I-I thought it could just be an us thing. You know, hanging out, Ricky and Gina, like the good old days.”

“The good old days,” Ricky repeated, inching slightly closer, regarding her carefully, “You mean before –”

“Before I left, yeah,” Gina decided to rip off the band aid, knowing that their whole plan of just starting over was never really going to work with them. They had too much history, too much of a bond, to just forget about it all together.

“I miss those days,” Ricky admitted softly, and Gina felt her heart quicken in her throat, remembered how Ricky used to freely come into her space, used to hug her like it was as natural as breathing, used to whisper jokes into her ear during rehearsal when he thought Miss Jenn was distracted, and Gina felt deep within her bones that she missed him .

She simply said, “Me too. So let’s get this fort set up. No time like the present.”

When they eventually settled into the blanket stuffed canoe, a D-Com playing on the projector, its image slightly askew from both Ricky and Gina having no idea how to work the controls, Ricky pressed his shoulder into hers, and Gina tucked a blanket over both of their laps, secretly relishing in the feeling of being close with him again.

After a few scenes had passed in comfortable silence, Ricky broke it by tentatively asking, “Why did you stop talking to me?”

“What?” Gina asked, her head whipping to the side to look at him, but he stared resolutely at the film, “When?”

“After the whole…” he sucked in a breath, and finally looked at her, his eyes wavering with uncertainty, “After the storm. Something changed between us and– and you stopped talking to me. Why?”

Gina was shocked to say the least that he was brave enough to ask. That wasn’t something they did. They skirted around the truth between them like it was a game, giving tidbits of each other’s true thoughts here and there but always shrouding the full truth. It would be the same then – because Gina couldn’t tell him the real reason she had started ignoring him.

She couldn’t tell him that she wanted him while he wanted someone else.

So, she bent the truth, told him as much as was safe to.

“We – we weren’t the same as before,” she stuttered out her response, struggling to come up with something believable, “You had Nini and I – I didn’t want to take up your time.”

“Did I make you feel like you were?” Ricky asked, growing alarmed and sitting up slightly.

“No!” Gina placed a hand on his chest in an effort to calm him, and she watched as his gaze immediately shot down to the point of contact, watched as his throat bobbed with his thick swallow, watched and tried not to stumble over her words, “It was all me, I knew I needed to branch out. I couldn’t keep relying on you to get me through things.”

“But, I wanted to do that for you,” Ricky caught her eye again, sincerity shining through his gaze, “I always want to be there for you, Gi.”

Gina’s thoughts fumbled back to the chocolates, and she cleared her throat, moving her hand away from her chest, slowly, tantalizingly slowly, letting her fingers drag just slightly and thrilling at the way his pupils dilated, “And you have been. I should’ve talked to you. I’m sorry.”

She wouldn’t have talked to him. She knew that. She knew he knew that. But, the gesture was felt, if Ricky’s nod of acceptance was anything to go by.

“I’m sorry I didn’t make an effort,” Ricky replied, “Losing you– losing your friendship , I mean – was the dumbest thing I ever did.”

“Well, you found me again,” Gina responded, and Ricky let a smile break out on his face at her words, and Gina had the wild thought that she wanted to kiss that smile.

She quickly averted her gaze to the screen, her stomach bubbling with tension.

Later in the night, when Ricky saw her shivering slightly in the brisk air, Ricky wrapped his arms around her shoulders and nuzzled his nose into her neck, knocking her onto her back in a flurry of blankets and fairy lights, claiming he was cold and that he needed to make a warmth cocoon. Gina didn’t stop him.

He was making an effort. She would let him.

*

She realized how truly unsubtle she was being when she wiped her entire arm under her nose, sniffing shakily and feeling fat tears drip down her cheeks, but Gina couldn't find it in herself to care as she rushed to the coat check area. She needed to get out of there – away from her now ex boyfriend EJ and away from the prying eyes of the fellow campers who were hungry for gossip.

She didn’t know why she was crying so much – she knew she had to end things with EJ, she knew it was the right thing to do. She supposed it was hard to let go of the idea that she was meant to have a perfect summer full of firsts, and all her boyfriend could give her were the same empty promises she had been receiving for as long as she could remember.

She struggled with her purse, trying to fumble it open, when she heard Ricky’s voice behind her, soft and gentle, “Hey, is everything okay?”

Gina tried to play it cool, tried to mask the fact that her nose was running and her mascara was positively smudged under her eyes, “Yeah, it wouldn’t be a dance without me running into you at coat check, right?”

“Yeah,” he chuckled slightly, but it sounded forced, “Uh, hey, while I have you there’s something important I kind of have to tell you if you have a second.”

Gina finally turned around, almost forgetting that she probably looked a mess, brain only half registering what he was telling her, “You do?”

Ricky’s eyes widened minutely, before he immediately replied, “It can wait if there’s something you’re working through.”

“Okay,” Gina breathed out, her lips upturning slightly, wobbly and small, “Thank you.”

Then, as if the day couldn’t get any worse than it already had been, the strap of her purse snapped and it fell from her clutches, clattering noisily on the floor. She let out a small whimper, the drop tugging at the last straw of her composure as she shakily crouched down to pick it up, Ricky following her almost in sync.

His voice was soft and reassuring as he whispered platitudes to her, picking up her things before she had the chance to, fingers slightly brushing against her own as they moved together, “Hey, it-it’s okay. I got that. It’s okay.”

She lifted her gaze and caught his, their faces impossibly close, and Gina could’ve sworn she felt the phantom brushing of his nose against hers. She released a shuddering breath, her eyes flickering from Ricky’s own to his lips and back again, and she thought about how even when he had something he needed to tell her, he would still rather put her own feelings first.

The entire summer, from finding out about the chocolates until then, Gina realized that Ricky would always be the one to put her first when no one else would. It made her feel funny inside, and she couldn’t help the rush of emotion that surged through her at the idea. It was all she wanted from her summer, and she only just realized that she had been looking for it in the wrong place. The feeling of being understood was where it had been all along – it never left, just hid itself for a moment, only to reveal itself again when she was ready to be honest with herself.

Her feelings for Ricky never really subsided. She packed them away so she wouldn’t hurt any longer, but she started to wonder if she had just been honest with him earlier in the year, would he have come to the same realization she had in that moment? Would he have noticed that there wasn’t a single other person he would rather be there for? Would her own poignant feelings have been reciprocated?

Ricky was still looking at her, his eyes wide with concern, and his fingers clutched onto her purse tightening over the fabric, as if he wanted to reach out but didn’t know if he should. Gina felt crazy, and maybe it was the grief from her first relationship falling to pieces, or maybe it was the fact that when Ricky was right in front of her she didn’t really care all that much about it, but she decided to surge forward and press a kiss to his cheek – her expression of thanks, a direct parallel of the first kiss she had planted on him the last time they left a dance together.

She heard Ricky let out a shuddering breath of surprise next to her ear, the warm breath trickling over her cheek in a way that caused her insides to catch fire, and when she pulled away all she could do was look at him. His eyes wavered from side to side, drinking in her own expression, a slightly dazed quality to them.

Gina quickly grabbed her things from Ricky’s clutches, and before he could comment on it, she dashed away.

It wasn’t until later, when Ricky showed up again the way he always seemed to that summer, that she realized she was ready for answers. She felt like she needed them – the closure they would give her, the look into his thought process.

He approached her, a towel over his shoulders and his hair slightly damp, and despite the joking banter between them, it still felt tense. Gina was not one to beat around the bush – he knew it well – so, she decided to put the skittish boy out of his misery, “I know what you want to tell me.”

Ricky froze, his entire body flushing red, and his eyes widened in alarm, words spluttering from his lips as he said, “Y-You do?”

“The chocolates,” Gina prompted, hoping he would come out with it if she brought it up first.

Ricky frowned harshly, a confused expression coming to his face, as if the words she uttered were the last thing he expected her to say.

“The chocolates?” he repeated, scratching his palm. He sounded tentative as he continued, “What about them?”

“You were the one who bought them for me,” Gina said, crossing her arms over her midriff and looking carefully for his reaction, “Don’t try to deny it, I overheard you and Carlos speaking about it.”

“Is – is that all you overheard?” Ricky spluttered, his face becoming splotchy from his mortification, “Because – because I can explain the chocolates.”

“So, explain,” Gina pushed him, “Why did you lie to me?”

“It’s – it’s complicated,” he replied, his hand coming up to his face to rub his eye.

“I have time,” Gina shrugged, needing her thoughts to be confirmed, needing to hear the truth.

“It– It’s like this,” Ricky started, stepping slightly closer to her, “When you came to my place on Valentine’s Day, I wasn’t expecting you. Then, we started talking and it was like something that had been missing all semester had fallen back into place, and it really scared me. When you talked about your mom, it just reminded me that we used to be able to talk about that stuff all the time, and you would always make me feel validated and just better whenever I needed to complain about mine. I wanted to be able to do that for you too, to make things better for you, the way you always did for me, but I just didn’t know how to do that without overstepping – things were just so tense between us and I didn’t want to sever what little connection we still had. I guess that didn’t work out in the end.”

It was a lot to process, hearing Ricky’s inner thoughts, and she settled with asking, “How did you get my mom to text me? How did she know?”

“I googled her name and found her work contact,” Ricky admitted sheepishly, “In her defense, she did sound really sorry over the phone. She offered to pay me for the chocolates but I refused.”

“Ricky, why didn’t you just tell me all of this in the first place?” Gina asked, really desperate to see if her suspicions about him could be confirmed with a few words.

“I wanted it to seem like they were from your mom, because you deserve to be put first,” Ricky replied, finally locking eyes fully with her, “You deserve the world, Gi, not some discount box of chocolates I was able to get with leftover Christmas money. But, it was all I could get at the time, and for you I would’ve done it again. I only regret if I made you feel embarrassed by it.”

“Ricky, I was more embarrassed by the fact that we weren’t the friends we used to be anymore,” Gina told him honestly, “I was so sure you had gotten me those chocolates, so when I got the message from my mom, and the one from you making a joke about my supposed mistake, something in me cracked and it felt like the way we had been would never come back to us.”

“That’s not true,” Ricky shook his head vehemently, stepping forward again, “I would do anything to get back what we were before; the – the friendship we used to have. I really only gave you chocolates secretly like that because I thought it was a step in the right direction. Not talking with you after it almost made me regret doing the whole thing.”

Gina looked at Ricky then, his slightly heaving chest, the way his cheeks were flushed pink, the way his eyes locked solely on hers, sincere and thirsty for her attention, and something blustery built itself up in her stomach.

Maybe she was being ridiculous. Maybe she was being intuitive.

Maybe – just maybe – Ricky Bowen was crushing on her as hard as she had been crushing on him. As hard as she was still crushing on him.

She didn’t know how to get the thought to subside in her mind, so she said the safest thing she could think of without accidentally blurting her feelings out mere hours after she had just broken up with her actual boyfriend, “I was mad at first about the chocolates. But after taking some time to think about it, I – I really appreciate the effort you put into it. It made me feel special, whether it was from you or mom or both, and that’s something I haven’t felt all that much in my life.”

“You are special. You deserve to feel special,” Ricky whispered, shifting on his feet, his tone genuine, “I’m sorry for the way things were between us then.”

“I’m sorry too,” Gina felt a buzzing within her, and as they just stared at each other in the twinkling starlight, Gina wondered just when and how quickly they had been able to fall back into their usual pattern of give and take.

Ricky smiled softly then, and all Gina’s pesky mind could supply to her was he likes you. He likes you the way you like him. Why else would he call you special and send you chocolates and close the gap between you–

It took everything in her not to gasp when Ricky stepped forward and pressed a featherlight kiss to her forehead, dropping his gaze to hers and saying, “Rest up, Gi. You’ve had a long day.”

She saw his eyes flicker toward her lips before he backed away and walked toward his dorm, and Gina’s heart was practically falling out of her mouth with how rapidly it was beating.

All she could hear was blood rushing through her ears mixed in with her own thoughts:

You’ve got it bad. But, maybe, so does he.

*

Gina’s palms were slick with sweat, and she knew it wasn’t because of her costume’s furs. She was nervous, more nervous than she had ever been in her life, because the moment was coming when she would have to share a kiss with Ricky on stage and act like everything was normal between them afterwards.

During their rehearsal EJ hadn’t been making them kiss – whether that was due to jealousy or due to the fact that he didn’t want to make it awkward between the group, Gina wasn’t sure – but it meant that Gina had no real preparation going into the Anna and Kristoff kiss scene. She wasn’t sure how she would react, and she had mixed feelings about whether she even wanted to kiss Ricky like that.

After their talk the night before, all Gina could think about was the fact that maybe she wasn’t crazy the previous year. Maybe Ricky really had liked her just as much as she had liked him, and it was just a matter of awful timing between them. She didn’t want a kiss to ruin things between them before they could really talk about it.

On the other hand, her lips were tingling with the anticipation of finally being able to taste him like she had wanted to for so long.

She wondered if he was as sweaty under the stage lights as she felt.

Gina had one of Ricky’s hands in both of hers, pretending to run through the busy docks of imaginary Arendelle, “Come on!”

She removed his blindfold, and Ricky looked at her immediately, rather than at the decorated sled. He stared for a belated moment, before she cleared her throat, her heart thumping in her chest, and he quickly looked to the prop, getting back into character with a surprised expression on his face. She continued with her line, “I owe you a sled.”

“Are you serious?” he dropped his jaw, looking at the sled in awe and Gina squealed a little beside him.

“Yes! And it’s the latest model.”

“No, I can’t accept this,” Ricky turned to her, his eyes wide in wonderment, and Gina admired just how comfortable he had grown on stage, the improvement that had taken place in his acting over the last few productions he had been a part of.

“You have to! No returns,” Gina poked at his chest, and Ricky’s eyes immediately followed her finger, looking at the point of contact. Gina kept going, hoping her voice wasn’t shaky with her anticipation of what was to come, “No exchanges; queen’s orders. She’s named you the official Arendelle ice master and deliverer.”

“What? That’s not a thing.”

“Oh, sure it is,” Gina flicked her hand, before holding his upper arm, noticing him lean in closer to her in a way he hadn’t done during rehearsal, “And it even has a cupholder.”

Gina purposely took her voice down a few notches, allowing the nervousness that she truly did feel slip into her next line, “Do you like it?”

“Like it? I love it!” Ricky took her waist in his hands as rehearsed, picked her up and spun her around, and Gina felt giggles slip past her lips in a way she wasn’t sure could be accredited to her acting skills if her burning cheeks were any indication.

“I could kiss you,” Ricky grinned into his next line, his own cheeks positively red, and the moment of truth had arrived. He awkwardly put her down, his eyes boring into hers, their faces close together, and he stuttered out his next line, “Uh, I could. I mean, I’d like to. May I? We me? I mean, may we? Wait, what?”

Gina leaned forward, cutting him off with a kiss to his cheek, and her mind screeched back to the night before when she had done the same thing, feeling her stomach lurch in a bubbling sensation, “We may.”

Ricky hesitated just slightly, before placing his hand on her cheek, and the other on her waist and pulling her into him. Gina immediately melted into him, and when their lips finally connected, she felt her brain short circuit, the movement of his lips against hers causing her knees to buckle just slightly, and if it weren’t for Ricky’s arm tightening around her waist, she may have dropped right then and there.

Ricky pulled away almost as quickly as he had kissed her, but Gina’s mind had run away from her in that moment, and her hands resting lightly over his chest took a life of their own, shifting up to cup his jaw and pull him into her again. She felt him let out a small noise of shock, before emitting a sigh into her lips, his fingers at her back running along her spine, and Gina thought her stomach would do a flip impressive enough to win Olympic gold. 

When Carlos came out to say Olaf’s line, they finally pulled apart completely, and Gina couldn’t help taking her bottom lip between her teeth, breathless and stunned by how good the kiss felt. Ricky was watching her with an awed expression in his eyes, his face blotchy and blushing, before he snapped back into character, the feverish flush along his skin never quite dying down.

After the curtain call, Gina looked furiously to find Ricky, but noticed he was nowhere to be seen. She asked a few of her friends if they had seen him, and they shook their heads no, as confused as she was at his being missing in action.

She started to grow worried, wondering if she had misinterpreted the whole thing, wondering if she had taken it too far and now he was afraid to let her down gently to spare her feelings. Her mind ran in a million different directions as she tracked down the spot she had teased him for his bucket list a week earlier, wondering if he had gone there to think.

Sure enough, she found him pacing back at forth, fidgeting with his hands and muttering something to himself. She stepped forward, announcing herself immediately, “Ricky!”

His head shot up, and his face immediately deepened into the red color that had been present throughout the closing scenes of the show, “Gina, what are you doing here?”

“I came to find you,” she said, rushing up to him, glancing over his body to check to see if he was okay, “You disappeared after the show. We were all worried.”

“Oh,” Ricky simply said, and Gina noticed he was pointedly looking anywhere but at her.

She felt her stomach drop, realized what it meant – that she really had been reading into something that wasn’t there. She wanted him to like her the way she did him, and so she had projected her own feelings onto him. Again . She felt mortified, nausea sweeping through her as she watched him fidget restlessly, and she quickly spoke up, “Ricky, about the kiss –”

“I don’t want to hurt you,” Ricky blurted out, interrupting her train of thought.

Her mind went blank, and she struggled to find the correlation between their kiss and his words, “What?”

“Gina, you mean the world to me. I don’t want anything to drive a wedge between us again. I don’t want you to think that I don’t value you; the way I made you feel earlier this year. I would hate for anything I do to drive you away again. I – I don’t think I could survive it,” he spoke rapidly, finally making eye contact with her, his eyes wide and panicked, “So, I’m sorry about the kiss. I took it too far, I got caught up in the scene and my emotions were heightened and –”

“Ricky, I was the one who deepened the kiss,” Gina softly reminded him, “Why would our stage kiss hurt me?”

“Because – because,” Ricky struggled with his words, and Gina decided to butt in, to make it clear exactly what she felt for him.

“You could never hurt me, not intentionally,” she assured him, stepping closer and taking her hands in his, stilling the fidgeting, swiping her thumbs over his knuckles, “Ricky, everything I wanted from this summer, you were the one to give it to me. You showed up, you stuck around, you supported me and had fun with me and was just there for me. No one else did that, not the way you did.”

“Of course I did,” Ricky replied, shifting his hands so he could lace his fingers with hers, tugging her closer, and Gina started to feel a steady heat thrum through her veins at the look in his eyes, the way his pupils wavered as he stared at her, “I had never felt more relieved in my life than I did in the moment you told me you wanted to start over this summer. I knew I couldn’t screw us up again – not when I know what it feels like to lose the greatest thing I ever had.”

Ricky had come even closer, his forehead brushing against hers but not fully resting there, and as he locked eyes with her, he deliberately looked down to her lips, obvious in his intentions, and Gina felt a shudder of relief hum through her. She hadn’t been making it up. He wanted her. He wanted her and she desperately wanted him. All she had to do was ask.

“You didn’t lose me,” she muttered, her voice hot and airy, the tension between them leaving her breathless, her pulse throbbing at her throat, “I’m right here. So, come and get me.”

Ricky’s eyes shot back up to meet hers, and he laughed in shock at her words, finally nudging his forehead fully into hers, their noses grazing and his breath fanning over her lips, causing them to tingle and causing a spark to break loose between them.

When he captured her lips, that time for real, she had never felt so sure about anything in her life. Her body set alight, and her fingers gripped his own tighter, and she knew in that moment that she didn’t want to kiss a single other person for the rest of her life. As Ricky’s lips moved in sync with hers, as one of his hands moved to trace a finger up her arm, before cupping her face and angling it so he could deepen their kiss in a mind numbingly tantalizing way, she knew she was far gone, her head floating off to the clouds. By the way Ricky’s smile spread wide over his features when he broke away, softly pecking her lips once more for good measure, she felt pretty safe in her assumption that he felt the same.

“Happy birthday, Ricky,” she muttered into his lips, before she pulled away and picked up her bag, rummaging through before revealing a heart shaped box of chocolates, similar to the box he had given her, “They’re not from your mom.”

Ricky laughed happily, his eyes creasing on the sides in a way that was endearing enough to make Gina’s insides melt. He took the box from her and seemingly unable to help himself, surged forward for another slow and languid kiss.

As he pulled away, looking at her with such affection she didn’t know what to do with herself, she felt a sense of contentment seep through her. It was what summer was supposed to feel like. She had a rocky start – but all’s well that ends well.

Ricky was still smiling adorably at her when he uttered the words, “Happy birthday to me.”