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craig could not possibly explain to anybody how he got into this situation. if you had told him this is what he would’ve been doing three hours ago, he wouldn’t have believed you.
it had started with tweek coming over for the afternoon, like he did on most days. and that turning into a sleepover,…like most days. he stayed the night a lot, if anything, it is now expected that he does. craig’s mother had opted to just regularly grocery shop and cook for an extra person a few years ago. she really is awfully fond of him in general. every single day without fail, she will pinch his cheeks and grab his face to begin planting kisses all over while she murmurs to him. in the end, he’s left with lipstick smudges and a shy smile plastered on his face. he’s too polite to ever wipe them away in front of her. and also, somewhere along the lines, craig began keeping all of tweek’s stuff inside a drawer in his bedroom.
craig decided a long time ago that he didn’t really mind. he supposed tweek wasn’t so bad. when they were little, craig thought he was a little weird— and not to say that he totally isn’t. but, behind all of that, he’s pretty cool. he’s a good listener, a bit of a people pleaser, for sure. he’s funny, he’s really smart, too. craig most definitely would’ve been failing without him. he’s cooler than clyde by a lot, he was the tiniest bit actually glad that tweek was the replacement for him when it came to sleepovers. he’s cooler than a lot of his friends. he’s way cooler than a lot of other boys, really.
but totally not in a gay way. that was completely out of the question. he and tweek just keep saying they are, but they’re not really like that. craig definitely has never wanted him to actually be his boyfriend, he isn’t really gay. no way in hell.
tweek’s laying next to him. their fingers are interlaced, craig knows that tweek likes this. likes the way craig stroked the back of his hand with his thumb. he said once it helped him sleep, and craig liked that. craig’s got his back to him, and he’s a bit concerned. he wasn’t making any noise. craig was dubious about if he was even breathing. he wasn’t too sure of how tweek sleeped, anyway, because usually he was out before him. but tonight, he was a little restless. stuck pondering.
“tweek?” craig whispered behind his shoulder. he turned his head and grunted as he flipped his body over. tweek’s eyes were drooping, and they fluttered closed. he vigorously squeezed them shut and mumbled something low and sleepily, craig wasn’t too sure what he said. he had his cheek smooshed into his arm. so when he lifted up, there was a faint little line there. craig blinked at him. “sorry, were you asleep?”
tweek rubbed his eyes, huffing when he opened them to give craig a hard stare. craig dumbly blinked again. he couldn’t help but let out a little giggle. eventually, tweek joined him. tweek inched a tad closer, their shoulders bumped. craig pulled the comforter over their heads, scooting down further so he could be completely covered. tweek made a little grunt in protest, but then he hummed, padding his fingers on the bed to find his phone. he turned on his flashlight.
on the top side of the comforter, it was a deep navy blue that went well with most of the color scheme in his room. for his eleventh birthday, it mysteriously isappeared from his bedroom. when it was given back, his grandma had embroidered constellations all over the bottom.
on some nights, they’d go under it and craig would name new ones every night until tweek fell asleep. other times, they’d tell secrets. or just talk aimlessly, didn’t matter.
craig looked over at tweek, rolled onto his side. he was giving craig an expectant look. craig looks confused, and tweek gave a small smile.
“what?” tweek raised an eyebrow playfully at him, and craig nervously chuckled a little. craig propped himself onto his elbow, pressing his weight into his wrist. for some reason, his chest felt tight. his mind blanked momentarily, completely forgetting what he was getting. his previous thought process completely drained, what words was he looking for? had he and…mouth to…fuck.
“like- cpr.” no, god damn it. that isn’t it. and now tweek’s staring at him a little funny. “i meant- not the resuscitation part but like, the mouth to mouth. you know?” in attempts fo make it better, those were still not the correct words. and, shit, he was stammering. he didn’t know where this nervousness was coming from. or why he was even thinking aloud. or why he was thinking of this in the first place. he had this down in his mind and this sounded perfect up in there but they weren’t articulating from his mouth. he wishes he could go back a full minute and shut up and speak about stars instead.
“i’m…not following.” tweek mumbled tiredly, intensifying his glare. craig rubbed his face and had to force himself to look away.
“okay,” he had to take a moment to breathe. “okay. kissing. we’ve kissed before, right?”
“on the cheek.” it took a second for him to respond. and if anything, it sounded more of a question. he gave a pause every time tweek spoke because he was anticipating for him to ramble about how craig was confusing him. but it didn’t come. but honestly, he wish it did, because the silence was awkward and making everything so much worse. he was mentally spiraling.
“i mean…shouldn’t we, like, properly?” craig finally looked back at tweek. craig wished the light were off. tweek just silently had his eyebrows furrowed, staring right at him. the direct eye contact was making it even worse. but then tweek smiled a little, a sort of warm, good softness coming to his eyes. something swarmed within craig’s insides. it fluttered from his stomach to rattling in his ribs to coming up his body and he thought he was gonna need to puke. but he didn’t. which in turn made him confused. he was sure he was staring at tweek a little dumbfounded.
“so,” tweek began. he was rubbing at craig’s bedsheets, feeling it between his fingers. “you’re asking to kiss me?” craig subconsciously spaced out, just staring stupidly at his face. he was waiting and waiting for tweek to flip out on him, ramble on about how that is— ‘way too much pressure’. or just, literally react in some way that is more than he’s showing. but tweek’s lips didn’t budge, not even a little. and oh, shit , he’s staring at his lips. don’t do that.
“yes.” his brain is failing him. backtrack. “no! i mean- like, people might start asking…questions?”
“and you suddenly…care?” tweek mocked the tone he used. he still had a smirk plastered on his face. craig was mentally dying. and the way his body was feeling practically feverish- you could say physically, too.
“no. no, no! it’s- i don’t want to kiss you! but we’re getting older and whatever and don’t you think that would raise questions? i’m just…” he was spluttering. tweek had wordlessly came out of the covers, sitting upright. before craig could do it himself, tweek peeled if off of him, tucking them back neatly and looking down over him. craig wished the lamp wasn’t on. “…it’s taking authenticity into consideration— tweek?” tweek carefully maneuvered himself over craig, directly able to meet his face. craig went stiff. and without meaning too, his voice came out small.
tweek tentatively brought his hand to caress craig’s cheek, and brushing a bit of his hair back. his smile softened. everything about this was, soft. when tweek’s hands weren’t shaking, they were gentle. if shit wasn’t already petrifying, tweek brought his face closer, shifting his body a little bit. he is full on straddling him against his bed. okay, maybe this looked a little gay. but it is not like that.
he’s seen tweek from this close before, sure, and everytime, his body felt weird. right now, he couldn’t move. he was just staring. tweek slid his thumb over his cheekbone, and he got goosebumps. he felt his body get a rush of warmth, blood rushing to his face. he was absolutely, unequivocally captivated, a dazed, starstruck expression in his eyes. tweek leaned closer. close enough to where craig could feel tweek’s hair tickling his forehead.
craig finally moved and relaxed his body. it felt, despite having tweek literally on top of him, somewhat safe. and comfortable. instinctively, he reached his hand to brush back some of tweek’s hair, too. this made tweek smile a little bit more, his teeth showing. craig let out a shaky breath.
“okay.” craig took a moment to register it, he blinked hard. he could literally feel his breath on his face. his eyes unfocused and he blankly looked at the freckles smattered across tweek’s cheeks and nose. when they were younger, he let craig take an invisible ink marker and connect them like constellations. tweek laid his head into his lap, hair sprawling out onto his pajama pants, and craig shone the light onto his cheeks. tweek was looking at him intently with curious eyes. craig remembers his body tensing up and his stomach coiling like how it was now.
“huh?” his voice was fucking trembling.
“i’ll kiss you.” tweek was suddenly whispering. and, oh , right. “for…authenticity, sure.” his tone of voice was laced with fondness. and, it seemed teasing, almost. craig didn’t really grasp why.
wait.
was this genuinely happening? holy shit. craig’s palms got sweaty and he self consciously, which was really strange for him, pulled it away. tweek caught his wrist with his other hand and tugged it back to his side.
“okay.” craig quickly nodded. he immediately noticed that he sounded way too eager. “if— if you want too, i guess. this is just-“ but tweek shushed his useless rambling. he kept his hand still on craig’s cheek, and dropped craig’s hand that was in his other. instead, he steadied it on his shoulder. craig’s heart pounded right into his ears as tweek leaned in. tweek had closed his eyes, his eyelashes casting shadows over his cheeks. craig studied his face.
tweek is, pretty . he thinks.
and that’s a terrifyingly, fully conscious thought.
he doesn’t really know what that entailed. he’s never explicitly thought of anything human as pretty. he thinks sunlight filtering through blinds is pretty. he thinks snow glistening in the coming of spring is pretty. he, apparently, in his swarming mind, thinks tweek is pretty.
the thought isn’t that welcome. the thought worsens his nerves. it doesn’t make him feel cliché butterflies. it feels like there’s a swarm of infuriated bees attacking his fucking insides. it makes him feel sweaty and fuzzy. it, somehow, makes him tingle with something good. tingle with some underlying awakening hunger.
tweek reminds him of a star. the way his stupid hair frames his stupid face. his skin is so pale it’s practically translucent. he might as well fucking be.
tweek reminds him of stupid cringe metaphors. that is scarier. tweek is so, pretty. craig can’t even come up with stupid metaphors anymore. he’s got a slender face, a bit mousey, bruised eye bags, pale green eyes, a slim button nose. but he is pretty.
and he wants tweek to kiss him. where the fuck is this all coming from?
tweek slightly tilted his head. craig widened his eyes and followed his direction without thinking. because, hell if he could properly. when he anticipated their lips to meet, they didn’t, their noses collided gently instead. tweek pulled back a little, eyes fluttering open. craig felt as though he was going to melt right into his mattress. and, actually, that sounded nice.
tweek stared at him. and then he let out a surprised laugh. he was smiling. all of his awkwardness has dissipated. if craig thinks about it, it never was really there for tweek. this all seemed so casual for him. it was so unlike what he was used to. he never had experienced tweek so confident. craig likes this. likes it a lot.
“sorry.” craig croaks out. tweek shook his head, he let his fingertips graze down to hold his chin firm.
“here, just stay still.” and craig did. he went completely rigid again pursed his lips into a thin line. tweek leaned in again, in a slightly divergent direction of craig’s face. he stroked his jawline with his pinky, and carefully pressed his lips to his. craig held his breath.
tweek’s lips, despite being a bit chapped from nibbling on them, were soft. craig sort of imagined them this way.
he wasn’t sure how to feel about acknowledging the realization that he has previously thought about what his lips would feel like.
craig didn’t really know what to expect kissing to feel like. in media, it looked like clashing together. sometimes it looked sloppy. but this… was nice. really, terrifying . but, nice. tweek tilted craig’s chin back a little bit, and pulled back enough to speak.
“relax, man.” he mumbled against his lips. it tickled a little bit. “you kind of have to move your lips, too.” now, tweek telling him to relax was pretty abnormal.
“…sorry.” craig repeated, practically inaudible.
“it’s okay. you seem… uncomfortable ,” tweek looked him directly in his eyes. craig forgot how to breathe. “ …are you uncomfortable?”
“no!” craig’s voice was exasperated. his reply was far too quick. tweek fucking smiled again. “no…just keep- keep kissing me.”
“okay.” tweek brought both arms to hold around craig’s neck. not tightly, almost like he was sort of cradling his head. he shifted his body further onto his chest. “do something with your hands dude. you’re fucking stiff as a board. it’s- ngh- making me nervous.”
really fucking seems like it. is what craig wanted to snap back. but he didn’t. every little ounce of smugness he had garnered up before died in his throat. craig inarticulately nodded, and shakily grabbed for tweek’s waist. tweek seemed content with that, because he immediately was back to kissing him.
craig lets his body ease up, finally. his lips soften against tweek’s and he accidentally let a shaky breath out through his nose. he stops gripping onto him so hard, and subconsciously just rubs his fingers up and down his sides. he strokes him gently, similarly to how he does to his hand to put him to sleep.
tweek pulled away, testing with a few minuscule pecks. once, tweek pulled away and looked down into craig’s eyes a little expectantly. craig hesitated, breath catching in his throat, and it was his turn to lean in now. he haphazardly missed his mouth, instead pecking the corner of it on accident.
in eagerness— or, to save craig any more embarrassment, he wasn’t sure which one— he caught his lips again. tweek experimentally, and very carefully, swiped his tongue over craig’s bottom lip. it caught him a little off gaurd. tweek’s lips parted a bit against his. oh .
tweek gently let go of his hold around his neck and instead grabbed his face again, cupping his cheek’s. craig’s hands sort of longed to touch under his shirt. he just wanted to feel him. surges of so much was just happening all at once and all of it came back with a the same screaming feeling of want.
tweek’s thumb gently pried open craig’s lips to be parted just enough, and craig somewhat got the hint. he unsteadily moved his tongue into tweek’s mouth. tweek hummed and craig swallowed it into the back of his throat. it sent strange vibrations through his body. he could feel the way their breathing mingled on each other’s faces as tweek pulled him impossibly closer. their lips melded together.
to be fair, sticking his tongue into somebody’s mouth wasn’t as strange as he expected. he didn’t know why he was even following his expectations anymore, because they’ve all failed him again and again. though, he strangely didn’t feel like complaining. tweek caressed the apples of his cheeks and tipped his head back so he could crash back into him.
it felt good. felt indescribably right. tweek was carefully probing around his mouth, and it took a bit for craig to really process how to kiss back. when he was, he let himself get loose. he pushed all the self consciousness to the side and simply, melted.
he grazed one of his hand’s underneath tweek’s shirt, just to feel his waist. and tweek didn’t move away like he anticipated. no, not at all . he leaned further into him. like he was encouraging it.
okay, making out with a boy in his bed. touching him. nothing…unusual about that. pretty normal.
craig hesitantly started tracing into his skin. tweek’s skin is really cold.
tweek was making small gasps against his lips. he also slid his tongue along his teeth an accident and craig felt him pull back a little, he was just murmuring into his lips again. tweek pressed his forehead against his, turning his face so their noses wouldn’t bump. he was panting.
“your-,” he shut his eyes. relaxing his body into craig, sort of lazily, his hold on him became less firm. “you have braces.”
“…yeah?”
“ ngh —it makes it a little more awkward to kiss you when there’s metal scraping my tongue!” that’s what made it awkward for him? but, again, he couldn’t find the confidence to make any snarky comments whatsoever. tweek still seemed to be clinging to that teasing demeanor. it made craig sickly flustered and his brain swarm. stupid fucking bees.
“sorry.” and it seemed it was the only thing he could utter tonight. he was internally scrutinizing his own voice, he sounded…feeble, stupid. he felt small, suffocated a little.
but not entirely in a bad way, actually.
if craig is sure of anything, he is sure his head is legitimately fucking spinning. he’s never felt so nervous in his damn life. or confused.
he wants tweek to keep kissing him.
his body somewhat feels like it needs to do all sorts of things with tweek. but he more or less ignores that thought.
stupid. fucking. tweek .
this is the hardest he’s ever thought about anything in a while. this is the hardest his heart has beaten in a while. fuck , the cliches are getting to him. he has a really, really pleasant fluttering inside his stomach.
tweek kissed him again. he threaded his fingers into craig’s hair. touch made it better. he had, slowly, gotten more accustomed to the motion of sliding his tongue around his mouth— that sounds awful, but the fuck else do you call it? it delved into somewhat of a slow, careful series of this.
tweek sort of just tastes like…mouth? all the times he’s wondered what he might taste of, and that fact becoming apparent to him is a lot scarier than him thinking about the feeling of his lips. he anticipated him to taste like coffee, or of things sweet in general.
maybe that’s also cliché. fuck. fucking, fuck .
but he tastes like saliva. and mint toothpaste. and nothing really worth thinking of this much. but it’s insanely intoxicating for whatever stupid reason. he really, really is completely pissed off at his brain currently. he isn’t too sure why he’s been dropping these bombs on himself. it seemed like some weird form of self sabotage, torture, even. he really didn’t know.
he was also becoming too hyper aware of himself that would be on anybody’s acceptable comfort levels. craig was really wondering how he tasted.
he truly wondered why he cared.
but there was a little itching in the back of his brain, whispering that it was completely normal and valid to be kissing his best friend, fake boyfriend, tweek. nothing …homosexual at all!
so, he let that take over for the time being.
somewhere in the midst of it all, tweek popped off his lips again. when craig opened his eyes, tweek was peering at him through his eyelashes. his face was flushed, and craig took a daring little peek at his lips. they were kiss-bruised and obscenely covered in saliva. and something within craig just sort of bursted.
a million thoughts flowed freely through his head, too rapid to process fully. damn, was he slobbering on him that much? that’s embarrassing. became a little loud. tweek scooted back off him, to sit more on his stomach. but perhaps, the most prominent thought being;
“did…was that-,” craig lost the line of silent in his head thoughts versus spoken out loud ones. “did that mean anything?” and then came the overwhelming feeling of “oh. shit.”
and probably for the first time in this entire interaction, tweek looked shocked. his sleepy eyes went bright and wide, staring craig directly down. craig swore he legitimately saw his fucking eye twitch. he- to be fair, very lightly punched craig in the arm.
“AGH! what. the. fuck? that’s all it fucking took?” did he sound frustrated? craig’s sense of shame heightened and mentally tucked himself back away into the blankets.
“huh? i-“ but tweek shushed him. very aggressively too.
“i’ve been trying to get you to get a fucking clue for years craig.” he squeezed his eyes tight. “and all it took was me kissing you? i would’ve kissed you so long ago.”
“…huh?” he parroted. tweek suddenly firmly grasped craig’s shoulders and shook him a little. craig jumped a little and looked at him wide eyed too.
“craig.” he said between his teeth, he sounded almost desperate. no, that wasn’t it. just a little whiny. “you’re fucking— so genuinely, extremely gay, dude. you’re the most oblivious person on this god damn earth and i’ve been waiting so long to realize that i like- in love with you, and you just- it never fucking clicked!” he stopped shaking him. “yes, it a hundred percent did mean something. everything has meant something to me. everything i’ve done for you has always meant ‘ something’, craig.”
and for a long time, craig just blankly stared at him.
“oh.” craig murmured stupidly. tweek blinked at him, once. and then twice. and then he wrapped his arms back around him, pushing himself close.
“shut the fuck up.” tweek gave him a look that was both genuinely terrifying and horribly attractive. craig felt like he was a cartoon character about to gulp obscenely loud after facing something scary. god damn it, again with the similes. he looked at him in what could only be described as in awe.
he said a small, barely audible, ‘okay’, and then tweek was kissing him again.