Chapter Text
Blurs of green and occasional browns flashed past my eyes. I wasn’t really looking at anything in particular. I’d just landed on a spot outside the car and kept staring at it, until my vision had blurred. It was kind of relaxing. The wind whipping through the car was loud, loud enough to block out any conversation going on inside it. It felt good to just focus on nothing at all. For the first time in days, my mind felt like it was going quiet. Right here, at this moment, everything felt peaceful. There was nothing around me except for faint blurs of colour. The only sound was the wind, blocking out anything else. Blocking out everything else.
I could feel my eyes starting to well up. I hadn’t blinked in a while. I didn’t really want to. Even that would be a distraction. It would drag me out of this brief peace I’d found, back into the real world, which was a whole lot less peaceful.
I blinked anyway. I couldn’t help it. And just like that, I was back. Back amongst all the mess we were stuck in at the moment.
I leant back into my seat, letting out a soft sigh. So much for that, I guess. I closed my eyes, focusing instead on whatever Johnny and Dallas were talking about. From the tones of their voices, it didn’t sound like anything was wrong.
Besides, I couldn’t just sit there staring at the scenery forever. Someone was bound to notice and then I’d have to explain what was wrong with me to both of them. I didn’t want to talk about stuff like that, especially not with Dallas there. He’d probably laugh at me or something like that.
Johnny was the one doing most of the talking. He was telling Dallas about how we’d been the past few days, making mention of how we were missing being back home and how we’d been making sure not to draw any unnecessary attention. He was turned completely sideways in his seat, with his knees half pulled up to his chest. He was fiddling with the sleeve of his jacket with one hand as he spoke; I don’t think he’d even noticed he was doing it. His much shorter hair was a spiked mess, from the wind whipping by around us.
Dallas wasn’t saying much, which was a first for him. He was mostly focused on the road as he drove, every now and then looking over at Johnny. I was surprised he could see any of the road, with all that shaggy blonde hair blowing into his face. He seemed focused though, on the road and Johnny, so at least that was a good sign. I’d be mad if he got us in a wreck, after all this. Trust Dallas to be the real threat to our safety, not the active warrant for our arrest.
“We’ve been mostly OK though. We’ve been taking care of each other.” Johnny finished, smiling halfheartedly, probably noticing the look on Dallas’ face. It looked kind of like when Darry said he was worried about us, but a lot angrier and colder, with less feeling. I could never tell what it meant when he made that face. Could Dallas even get worried? Probably not. What did he have to worry about? All he had was himself and it’s not like he took great care of that anyway.
“So what have you two even been doing out here? Like, for fun and stuff? This place is dead.” Dallas snickered, shaking his head disapprovingly.
“Not much. You told us to keep our heads down, so that’s what we’ve been doing.” Johnny answered, looking over at Dallas, instead of out at the surrounding fields, like he’d been doing a few seconds earlier. Maybe he felt like I did. Maybe he wanted to block everything out too. I wouldn’t blame him. He was at the centre of all this, in the eye of the storm. I’d be overwhelmed if I was him. At least I hadn’t killed anyone. He had that rattling around his head, along with everything else. I’d probably go crazy if I were him.
“You’re both smarter than me. I’d go crazy having to sit in the one spot for so long. I’d be running around in town before the second day here was even over.” Dallas chuckled, looking over at Johnny again briefly.
“I mean, what other choice do we have?” I joined in, the reminder of our situation not making me feel any better. I just wanted to go home. I didn’t care if Darry didn’t want to see me, I’d deal with that. I just wanted to be back somewhere familiar. I didn’t want to feel like the cops were hanging over me every second, like eyes were tracking us everywhere we went. I just wanted to feel normal again.
Johnny shot me a sympathetic look. He’d probably picked up on the unhappy tone in my voice. He was good at that. All he had to hear was one sentence and that would give him a good enough read on how someone was feeling.
I wished I could have a skill like that. Usually I just said whatever came to mind, whatever I thought. I didn’t think, just like Darry always said. It never ended well like it did for Johnny though. He was right most of the time and I was wrong most of the time. I’d usually just end up sticking my foot in my mouth. Darry said I was lucky I hadn’t gotten my nose broken yet.
“If either of you could drive, I’d tell you to take the car and just go on the run for a little while. Head for a couple states over.” Dallas said, eyes back on the road.
“You’re making me wish I picked up a few more driving lessons before all this.” Johnny laughed feebly. I couldn’t tell if he was dwelling on what had happened like I was or if he was regretting not being more prepared.
Dallas didn’t respond. I couldn’t see much from the back, but he looked focused, like he’d thought of something. His eyes were fixed on the road ahead, two fingers tapping thoughtfully against the steering wheel. As I watched him, he started chewing at his bottom lip, occasionally flicking glances back at the two of us.
I closed my eyes again, leaning back against the seat. We’d be stopping soon and the idea of getting some actual food in my system made me feel a little better. Not by much though. I don’t think anything could brighten Johnny or I’s spirits at this point.
For a moment, I told myself that we were back home. It was late, we’d gone out to the drive-in and the movie had run later than we’d all thought. Dallas was giving us a ride back so we didn’t have to chance getting jumped. It was way past when I was supposed to be home, but Darry wouldn’t mind too much, I didn’t have school for weeks. Dallas had stolen another car or maybe he had Tim’s, he’d done that once or twice. He was probably in the front seat talking about how Tim would wring out his neck for taking his car again, but I wouldn’t be paying much attention. Tim Shephard honestly scared me, even though I would never admit it. His brother seemed to think pretty highly of him. I figured I’d just take his word for it. I’d be back home soon and Johnny would most likely stay with me, crashing on the couch. We’d both be warm and safe. We’d be home. Darry would be in the kitchen, worrying about whatever he was worrying about this week and Soda would be fast asleep next to me, rolling around like he was running a marathon in his sleep. Everything would be OK. Everything would be normal.
Suddenly, we were turning. Well, the car was turning. I felt it screech to a split second halt, before spinning back around. As the car turned, I slid to the side in my seat, opening my eyes and flailing around to regain the balance I’d had before. The only thing that kept me from falling out of my seat was the seatbelt, which both Johnny and Dallas had foregone. Looking over, Johnny looked as confused as I was, leaning against the passenger side door, no doubt from the impact of the sudden turn. He was looking at Dallas, who was focused on the road, facial expression hard and determined, like he’d made up his mind on something.
“Dally, what’re you doing?” Johnny yelped, as the car swerved slightly, trying to pull into the right lane.
“You said that neither of you are doing well out here, on your own. So, we’re getting out of here.” he replied shortly, still not looking up from the road.
“Where are we going though?” Johnny asked again, looking back at the direction we’d been heading only a few minutes before.
“We’ll do what I was talking about earlier. Get some distance, maybe go across some states or something. I’ll come with you. Not like anyone will really notice anyway.”
“But what-”
“Anyone who notices will probably think I’ve just skipped town. I skipped town to get there in the first place, it’s not that crazy to think I’d do it again.”
“But why are we doing this now?” I asked, leaning forward, between the two front seats.
“Because I think it’s a better idea anyway. Don’t sweat it, you two. I’ll take care of it.” he assured us both, finally looking up from the road and shooting us a small, firm grin.
He looked back at the road again, speeding up as we got further out, into the fields around the outskirts of town. I looked over at Johnny, still a little confused, and he just shrugged, a barely noticeable gesture, but I still saw it. I could practically hear him saying, “Your guess is as good as mine man.”
I sat back, pulling my legs in close. There was so much change happening so fast. I’d ignore this for the most part though. We weren’t even out of all these fields and farmland yet. I’d worry about whatever Dallas thought was a good idea once we properly got out onto the road.
I thought back to Soda’s letter, the one Dallas had brought with him. He wanted me home. What was he going to think when I didn’t come home? When Dallas dropped off the map too? Would he think I was dead? Would he think I wasn’t coming home at all?
I knew Darry wouldn’t care about all that. He’d probably be glad to have one less kid in the house. One less kid meant less work to do. Plus I wasn’t anything more than a thorn in his side. He’d be better off if I didn’t come back.
Would I ever come back? I wasn’t so sure all this would ever blow over. Maybe the three of us would just have to stay on the run forever, bouncing from state to state, never seeing the rest of the gang again.
I tried to ignore all those thoughts. I’d told myself I wasn’t going to dwell on them. So why was I? Dallas’ idea didn’t even seem real yet, not while we were still amongst the fields. But all those thoughts were so loud I couldn’t stamp them down.
Dallas and Johnny probably wouldn’t care about being on the run forever. Johnny’s parents didn’t like him on the best of days and Dallas didn’t have anyone, as far as I was aware. Dallas had blown into town on a train, it wouldn’t be hard for him to just blow back out. Maybe that was why the two of them got along so well, now that I thought about it.
I wasn’t like them though, I still had some family. Even if Darry didn’t like me, I didn’t want to leave my only home forever. Not to mention the gang, they were my friends, we were all almost as close as family. I didn’t want to lose that either.
“Don’t stress, seriously. I’m sure we won’t have to be gone long. This kinda stuff usually blows over in about a month. Once nothing turns up, the fuzz kind of loses interest.” Dallas said, nodding at both of us reassuringly. He even offered a very faint smile, the most genuine gesture I’d ever seen from him.
“...Is this car stolen?” I asked after a moment. The thought had come into my head a few minutes ago, when I’d been trying to pretend that everything was normal and fine.
“No, it’s one of Buck’s. I think he won it in a bet or something like that. He probably won’t care if I take it. Or he won’t be surprised. Either way, he’s not going to report it. He never has before. Except for that one time. That was the first time I did it though. He wouldn’t do it these days.” he replied, tilting his head as he spoke, clearly weighing it all up in his head.
“Good. As long as we’re not being taken in for one of your stupid stunts.”
“Shut it kid, or you can walk.”
“Come on, Dal, he didn’t mean anything by it.”
“Yeah, yeah. Still.”
I rolled my eyes, curling up slightly in the back seat. I closed my eyes once again, ignoring the light hearted bickering going on in the front seat. Of course Dallas listened to Johnny, he always did. If I’d told him to lay off me, he’d probably have climbed into the back seat to shut me up himself. I guess everyone was easier on Johnny. I couldn’t blame them. He was a nice guy, it’s not like he went around asking to get kicked in the head, not like Steve or Dally.
“Maybe if I just close my eyes, this’ll all end up being a really weird dream.”
“I wish.”