Chapter Text
When one asks me about the history of Valeside they always expect to hear of boring old tales of a small, coastal town. How I love seeing their faces when I reveal the truth. Each one of them, the subtle terror invading their eyes. Oh the satisfaction it brings.
So, go ahead, ask about this monotonous, joke of a town. I'm sure you won't regret it.
***
Employee turnover at Murder and Co was unusually high, only with the maids of course. They were easy enough to replace, and they would need to be considering how quickly Ms Crooks PhD (in Manga- obviously) used and finished her maids – well that's if they were good enough to get her to finish.
Another month, another batch of new girls. Another couple of girls sold of by their parents who couldn't pay the rent; Trinity Evermore Amelia Styles-Swift was one of them. Sold by her dearest mother – the only one she ever trusted.
Betrayed: that's how Trinity felt. Shipped off to work for a notorious mafia boss. At least she still had her 4'9 stature, cerulean orbs, voluptuous, kissable lips, petite, elf-like ears, porcelain skin, perfectly proportioned nose, cheekbones that rivaled Angelina Jolie, infinite neck, double y boobs (that she wished were z's), her childlike hands, and finally her legs that were longer than the Burj Khalifa. However she wasn't all just looks, she was witty, and had a personality. She was not like other maids. She never thought her mother would do this, especially considering she was sold off to Harry Styles by her mother, Sam Taylor-Johnson.
She shivered whilst walking into her new place of work but, as a single drop of sweat fell from her forehead, she decided to be brave. Her makeup and messy bun were still intact though because she was God and controlled everything.
She walked like a model and crashed into a brick wall, but wait, it was Ms Crooks. Her tiny body was pushed right up against her new boss. Her swollen bust pushing into Ms Crooks' hardened stomach muscles. Her face was burning. Ms Crookes looked down at her barely covered chest. "You don't know your beautiful" plays in the background.
"Hired," she said in an assertive voice and waltzed out.
Trinity fainted, had she really said that. Today was going to be good. She let her hair down and became a brand-new woman – no longer a girl of 18. She was now confident, and as her confidence grew so did her height. She was now 6ft.
The other girls knew not to mess with Trinity; she was the alpha, the leader, the one to trust. She was a nightmare dressed like a daydream. But Ms Crookes couldn't stand her.
From her tantalizing lips to her earthshatteringly idyllic skin: she hated her with every fiber in her body. However, it was obvious that it was reciprocated from the icy glares that passed between the two. Over time tensions rose and passions grew, and we all know what unresolved tension leads to...
***
Knives'R'Us (owned by the infamous Ember Wreath and S.V Sagittarius) was buried long ago. Some today believe it was a just a myth, similar to the Lost City of Atlantis. The only evidence that it existed was a diary belonging to the boss of an old mafia; the diary itself was laden with important business dates but the one that seemed to strike everyone was the previously unheard of company Knives'R'Us. Perhaps its another secret that Plato attempted to hide from us.
***
"You spent how much money on the vampire diaries merch!" Ember growled menacingly at S.V.
"$1000," S.V said nonchalantly in her Texan drawl, "Yeehaw!"
Ember just looked done, "I should have just let you kill me."
Suddenly, shards of glass erupted from the effervescent window and in crashed everyone's favourite footman, Milzy Phalange PhD – in puppetry (it's a thing we searched it up). As she lay sprawled cutely on the floor, Ember picked up the phone to call Fix it Felix to repair it- he was S.Vs' favourite.
"Howdy! How was your trip?" S.V said cheerfully as if it were an everyday occurrence.
"Almost as good as your mum last week."
"What the fuck, Milzy?" S.V's accent thickened as her eyes darkened with pent up anger, "Y'all know my mama's dead."
"I meant Ember's mum, soz gurl," Milzy apologetically mumbled.
"Rude!" Ember piped up.
Everything – other than the Phalange girl's fall – was running smoothly at Knives'R'Us Mafia that even Murder and Co could not douse their progress. The boss – S.V – and her merciless right hand (wo)man – Ember – oozed confidence in their proceedings. It flowed out of their glands and into the work they did; they practically secreted success. The company numbers kept growing just like Milzy's bump on her head.
"This company is going on to great things y'all," the fiery redhead – S.V – said.
"That it is," Ember spoke assuredly, "Just a reminder that that monster over at Murder and Co, y'know Ms Crooks, wants to call you. I've set up a meeting for 1 o clock. Right after your advert for CBAT."
"Thanks darlin'," S.V whispers seductively – so much so that Milzy fainted from it.
"She's always throwing a faint," Ember muttered agitatedly.
***
"What is this call about, Ms Crooks?" The Sagittarius girl spat with venomous hatred to her once best friend.
"Look I know you hate me, but come on you know you missed my rants and I miss ranting to you so lets put our differences behind us for an hour and have a proper talk," Ms Crooks paused, "That alright, girlypop?" She winked.
Rolling her eyes, Ember continued doing her paperwork - wishing that she was in any other room.
"I guess," S.V attempted to hide her smile.
Callously, Ms Crooks desperately told S.V – and unknowingly Ember who was off camera and not be seen – about her new disgraceful employee. Ms Crooks spared no detail of her exquisite beauty and gorgeous voice, both of which ground on her last nerve (how dare she sing fight song so beautifully after Ms Crooks had slapped her with a wet fish from the canteen). She was so aggravating and fickle, as well as lanky as shit.
Quietly, S.V smirked at her friend.
However, in the background, Trinity quickly wailed in despair, alerting Ms Crooks to her presence and sealing her fate.
Her poor, once cerulean now aubergine purple eyes widened in fear.
"You shall be punished!" MS Crooks' voice lowered a considerable amount of octaves, "Babygirl."
"I don't want to see this!" S.V groaned and clicked off the call.
S.V looked over to Ember in complete disgust.
"What did you think was going to happen?" Ember spoke.
A/N:
So this book is written for our friend's birthday, happy birthday girl!!!! Also, we really wanted to embody 2013 wattpad so writing like this physically hurt us.
Hope you enjoy this absolute joke.