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Dream knocked on the wooden door a few moments before gently pressing it open to see Sapnap curled up in his bed and sleeping. He had been sleeping a lot since he got back from visiting Karl. Dream thought maybe he fucked up his sleep schedule when he was staying with the brunette. And, Sapnap had a nasty cold.
Dream walked over and shook the raven haired man awake, “Hey Pandas, Karl invited you, me and George to stream with him.”
Sapnap groaned, “I just went to sleep.”
“It’s like 5 in the afternoon.” Dream said, “But okay, I will relay the message.” Dream left the room and Sapnap curled up in his bed more, drifting back off. Once he woke up, he saw the goodnight text from Karl and sighed. Maybe he made his sleep schedule like this on purpose to avoid having to speak with Karl.
Karl didn’t need to know that. No one did. They also didn’t need to know that his cold was more than it was, but it was manageable without Karl being in his life more than a good morning or a goodnight message.
Sapnap made his way downstairs to eat and checked the time on the microwave. It was 11pm. He would go back to bed when Karl woke up.
He made his way back to his room and decided to stream. The stream quickly was ended when he saw Karl was watching and the sharp pains in his chest started to form. He couldn’t even avoid Karl at night now. This was going to be harder than he thought…
*
“Karl is here.” Dream said after shaking Sapnap awake. “He’s here to visit for a week.”
Sapnap groaned and sat up. He had been sick all night and now the one person who set him into a sick fit was a door away. Fuck.
Sapnap huffed and looked down at the shirt he was wearing. He had changed into Karl’s shirt after he got sick for the comfort last night and now he wanted to rip it off. And so, he did. He took it off and changed into one of his long sleeved shirts once Dream left.
Karl was sent in a few moments later.
“Here’s your shirt back.” Sapnap said, feeling the bile covered pedals rising in his throat. They were much worse with Karl around. It’s why he had left in the first place. But of course Karl got worried that he had been so sick because Karl is such a good friend like that. But that’s all he was. A good friend.
Sapnap shivered, he was always cold. Even as Dream had the heat up in the house enough to not kill the others from the heat outside. Karl shook his jacket off and offered it to Sapnap. “Here.”
Sapnap shook his head and grabbed a hoodie from his floor and slipped it on over his long sleeve shirt. “I can wear my own clothes.” Sapnap choked down a cough. “Why are you even here, Karl?”
“Because I care about you and you have been sick for weeks. You said the doctors said it was a cold but I’m worried for you.”
Sapnap wished he could give Karl back his heart. Karl had trusted Sapnap to hold it and he wanted nothing more than to somehow give it back and usher Karl to leave. The disease was only getting worse. Soon Sapnap could die and he couldn’t break Karl’s heart by dying where he could see that it’s because Karl couldn’t love him back.
Sapnap felt the sharp pains in his chest and he sighed, “excuse me, I need to pee.” Sapnap pushed past Karl and went into the bathroom down the hall to throw up soft purple peony petals. “Fuck me.” Sapnap muttered. He could see clear signs it was getting worse. It had been steady for weeks but the whole flower in his toilet showed him just how quickly it could hit him with Karl around.
It was easier to pretend Karl didn’t exist when Karl wasn’t right there. He could hide under the covers on his bed as the hours passed in the night while he waited for Karl to wake up to go to sleep. It was just easier to pretend they never met.
Sapnap was scared of what Karl being there could lead to. He was already scared to die- but to die with Karl watching him… blaming himself for his death? That would ruin Karl. And Sapnap already felt enough pain, he didn’t want Karl to feel pain as well.
Though, if Sapnap had to die for anyone, he was glad it was over Karl. He was happy that Karl was the cause of his pain and misery. It was horrible, and it hurt and the world was over. All because Karl saw him as a friend. Sapnap was sure if it. The disease had to be proof of that.
It shouldn’t have to be that way, but that’s how it was. Sapnap was scared as hell. And he didn’t want to wait until death took him for Karl to realize that him being there was bad. He didn’t want Karl to realize that every time he talked to Sapnao it caused a pain to bloom deep in his chest, puncturing his thoracic cavity and shattering his heart with each petal that he coughed up.
He didn’t want Karl to know the truth of why he altered his sleep schedule to ensure minimal or no contact. It would crush him more if Karl knew the truth.
Sapnap went out to the living room with Karl, Dream and George and sat down on the couch. He instantly leaned his head on Karl’s lap. It was easy to get lost in the comfort of the brunette. He was pulled to Karl and needed him. He had been miserable without Karl in his life for weeks now and having Karl there could be dangerous. But he wanted a moment to rest in the comfort of Karl before everything turned to shit. Kar ran a gentle hand through his hair as something played on the tv in the background. All Sapnap could focus on was sleeping. And for once, he fell asleep without a pain in his heart, but that had been replaced with the pain in his lungs.
And maybe he didn’t mind the pain this time.
Because he had Karl, and that should be enough for a few hours.
*
“I feel like I just came here to sit and watch you do nothing with your life.” Karl said. “You’re not doing anything to try and be better and you only fixed your sleep schedule when I fucked up mine to synch with yours.”
“What did you think was going to happen Karl!? You knew I was sick, you knew I wasn’t feeling well and somewhere deep down you knew I was avoiding you! So what the fuck did you think you could do!? Show up and force me to talk to you?” Sapnap’s voice echoed the room and reverberated the flowers in his lungs, causing a sharp pain.
“I was scared of losing you!” Karl shouted.
“You can’t lose what you never had!” Sapnap yelled back before they both grew silent at his words. Before Sapnap could apologize he started violently coughing. Tears pricked his eyes as sharp thorns sliced at the lining of his throat. Peonies weren’t meant to have thorns. But that’s part of the curse.
Petals spilled from his mouth as he fell to the ground. Karl’s yells for help were like a distant sound behind the ringing in Sapnap’s ears.
It was all over. The truth was out. Things could never be the same again. And with that realization, Sapnap passed out in a pool of blood soaked flowers and with the faint sounds of Karl’s crying.
“Nick, please, I love you.” Was the last thing he heard before it all went silent. Maybe he had finally died as fate described.
*
Sapnap blinked awake and heard soft breathing next to him. He was in his own bed and Karl was curled up with him, sleeping uneasily. Sapnap let out a breath, he was alive.
Sapnap took a deep breath and realized his lungs didn’t ache with the expansion and release. There were no thorns or tangled vines to block his airway. There were no petals trying to inch their way up his throat.
Sapnap shook Karl awake. “Karl.” He said softly. Karl jumped awake frantically and grabbed Sapnap’s face as if trying to see if he was okay. “Karl, I’m okay.” Sapnap whispered. “It’s gone.”
Karl had silent tears down his face and Sapnap wiped them. “I love you too.” Karl said. “God, I thought it was so obvious but I should have shown it better.”
Sapnap kissed Karl within seconds and Karl kissed him back. The disease was gone and Karl didn’t have to just be a good friend anymore. They could be lovers and Sapnap would send Karl peonies on Fridays while they were apart, while Karl would send shirts and hoodies every so often.
Life had been restored and better than ever.
Sapnap never would have guessed the disease meant to end his life - because he would never want to get rid of his memories of Karl - would bring him more happiness than he could ever imagine.
The disease gave him the life he had dreamt of through painful nights, and had prayed for while puking up petals that mirrored his lover's favorite flowers.
And to think it all started with a simple peony petal.