Work Text:
The first clue Reo gets, he ignores.
Because Rin has issues he must be going through. And the younger Itoshi, threats of death and disturbing affection to his brother aside, is actually a pretty stand up kid. So Reo just lets it play out when he cages Nagi against the locker, teal eyes menacing as he breathes out, “You fucker. Is something fucking wrong with your lukewarm brain?”
“Don’t be mean, Rin-chan. I already apologized.”
“Call me that and I’ll kill you. And what the fuck apology?”
“Sova says sorry…” Rin honest to god sneers, his emo side-fringe flapping over an eye.
“Augh, you’re such a baby, Rin-chan––”
Reo doesn’t know, but he has the bell to thank when it rings, because right then and there, it just saved Nagi’s life. Rin clicks his tongue when he pulls away from Nagi, and he tells Reo, “Tell your boyfriend to fix his shitty dead-fish eyes,” which, ok, rude. Nagi’s eyes are cute. “If he fucks up again, he’s off the team.”
It’s later, when they’re on the rooftop, that Nagi explains to him that he didn’t play well on their game last night, which made Rin and their teammates slip down their ranks.
A seldom-heard noise goes off scratchily from Nagi’s phone––You lose! ––and Nagi groans, annoyed.
"Reooo…My headshots. I keep missing…"
"Sorry, I don't know how to help with that Nagi." Reo laughs apologetically. “Hey. Maybe it’s just a string of bad luck. You’ll recover, my treasure.”
Nagi makes a humming noise. Reo just pats at the white fluff of head as Nagi rubs his eyes and keeps it closed, up until the start of his next class.
xxx
The second clue Reo gets, he misses.
He isn’t to blame. Inorganic chemistry has an effect on the brain that no other subject can induce––is this even a science? Feels more like sorcery… Reo is convinced that people naturally good at inorg chem just have an innate magic to them. There is no way a field of study can have the audacity to establish laws and yet overlook exceptions to them like their significance is the weight of an electron.
Amidst the sea of scrunched foreheads hard at work, there is one whose affliction is due to a different cause.
Nagi’s cheek is to his desk, face in a pained grimace. His eyes are closed, and his worksheet is right under his head. Reo pulls it out, then places it on top of Nagi’s head, concerned that it would crumple.
“It’s quite challenging, huh Nagi,” Nagi hates any subject that can’t be learned just from hearing in passing, so he just groans.
“My head hurts, Reo.”
“It’s that difficult?”
“No, my head really hurts.”
Really, Reo can’t be blamed when he doesn’t take it too seriously. Nagi has a penchant for drama, funnily enough. From dying cells to legs turning jelly to fully claiming membership with the undead, he's heard it all from his best friend. But the headache is new. Though, if anything, it’s already miraculous enough that Nagi doesn’t suffer headaches daily, what with his way of living.
Reo knows Nagi well, so he expects to be right when he says, “You were up late playing games last night, weren’t you?”
Nagi nods miserably. Thought so. Reo takes from his bag the pouch of medicines and essentials Baaya had prepared for him. He fishes a tablet of paracetamol. Opens a bottled water he’s learned to carry for Nagi, and hands both of them to him.
When Nagi sticks his tongue out at the bitter medicine, Reo just shakes his head helplessly. Nagi also hates anything bitter, let alone taking medicine. Seriously, he’s like a child. Reo tells him as much. Nagi just pouts and looks at him, big gray eyes pleading.
“If you don’t want to drink that, we can go to the infirmary instead.”
The boy startles at the mention of 'infirmary'. He takes the pill with a big gulp of water, jutting his lip at Reo when he finishes.
“Good boy. You can copy my worksheet later.”
“Being sick is a bother,” hums Nagi. “But it's good when I’m with Reo.”
Reo rolls his eyes. “Right, because I can’t help but take care of you, you big baby.”
“Mhm. And if I’m still sick during physics class, Reo will let me copy his seatwork…”
“Hey! You’re quite shameless huh!” The both of them know that he will anyway.
Nagi’s smile is imperceptible. “Only for Reo.”
xxx
The third clue Reo gets isn’t a clue at all, because Baaya practically spells it out for him.
They’ve just dropped off Nagi at his house, and on the drive to Reo’s apartment, Baaya starts a conversation.
”I’ve been meaning to ask, young master, what is it that ails master Seishiro?”
“Eh? Nagi’s sick?”
It's a genuinely shocking statement, considering Reo prides himself on his attention towards Nagi. He just…gets him, when not a lot of people do, or even make an effort to. Reo knows whenever Nagi needs anything, when there’s anything bothering him. Reo knows when to give a scratch, a head pat, a bottle of lemon tea. Just the right things to make Nagi function like a normal human being. If Nagi had been sick, Reo would’ve been the first to notice. Baaya even says as much.
“But he’s not sick. Do you know something, Baaya? There wasn’t anything abnormal…”
He tries to recollect on their week together. Nagi has been getting headaches, which might be quite unusual, but maybe it was a long time coming too considering his lifestyle. And he’s been losing his games, apparently. Maybe it’s just exhaustion creeping in on him.
“I only feel it my place to say it, young master, because I must care for your friends the same way you do,” Baaya says gently. Reo tries to search for disappointment in her words––he prides himself on his attention towards Nagi , how could he have missed something––but Baaya might be the one person who has never expected anything from him, so he finds nothing.
“His eyesight,” says Baaya. “Something must be off.”
It’s then that dread sinks in on Reo. Headaches. Missing headshots. He might have included his sleeping in class too, but Nagi has always been doing that anyway.
And oh god, even Rin had been more perceptive. Fix those shitty dead fish eyes…
How could Reo have been so blind? Is Nagi going blind?
“He has to see a doctor,” Reo says just to distract himself. He tries to push down his worry. “Can you set an appointment, Baaya?”
Baaya nods, smiling.
Nagi’s caller ID cuts through Reo’s phone screen just in time, blocking the list of symptoms he’s already started looking up. On the other end of the line, Nagi is making whiny, moaning noises. Reo chews on his lip, tries to keep his voice steady.
“What is it, my treasure?”
“Tell them to be nice to me, Reo.” Nagi’s gaming buddies could be heard through their comms. There’s Rin threatening him with death, Bachira making senseless but happy noises, and Isagi swearing up a storm through the static.
“Is that Reo? Hi Reo!” Bachira says.
“Hey Bach. What’s going on?”
“Your dumb fucking pet!” Rin shouts. “The enemy was right in front of you.”
“Oww but I couldn’t see.” Reo digs his fingers in his palm. Couldn’t see…
He hears an exasperated sigh, and then a scratchy “Dammit Nagi, just go to sleep,” who must have been Isagi.
“No, I’m playing some more.”
It’s his eyesight, for sure, Reo thinks. It’s so obvious now. Thank god Baaya pointed it out sooner.
“You should take a break, Nagi. Let your eyes rest.” Reo says. A break, and then a shower. But rest first before the shower. He told Isagi he wanted to play some more, and since he might protest to Reo too, Reo asks Baaya to stop the car, ready to personally drive back to shut Nagi’s screens off to force him into resting his eyes.
But Nagi says “...Okay, boss.”
On Nagi’s end, Isagi’s rant and Bachira’s teasing are abruptly cut off.
“I’ve turned off my game, Reo.”
Reo sees Baaya giving him a soft, meaningful look through the rearview mirror.
He doesn’t get to wonder what it means because Nagi is incessant when he says, “I’m taking a break now, Reo. My eyes are closed and I am at rest.”
“Oh. Good boy, Nagi.”
Reo hears shuffling through Nagi’s mic, taking it as a cue to end their call. If he doesn't put their call down, Nagi never will, lazy as he is.
(He doesn’t see Nagi chasing Reo’s praise, snuggling his phone with his cheek.)
xxx
He’s taken the liberty of calling upon their family doctor––this way, Reo’s sure Nagi will receive the best care, and anything Nagi is uncomfortable with, Reo can easily have adjusted.
Classes were conveniently suspended over some auditing or whatever, and he goes with Baaya to fetch Nagi from his house. They’re halfway to the Mikage building, driving in silence, when Nagi speaks.
“Reo, it’s just my eyes. Probably.”
Reo worries his bottom lip between his teeth. The truth is, Reo had been up googling Nagi’s symptoms until late into the evening. And he hasn’t stopped after waking up. He clicks on another blue link in an article, the header of WebMD burned on Reo’s frontal lobe by now as a new, rare, and fatal disease is presented to him in bold font.
“Hm? We’re doing a full check-up, Nagi. So the doctor can know what’s wrong.”
“Ok, but it’s just my eyes. We should just do the letter chart.”
“Nagi, the doctor will decide what to do. He’s hired by Mikage so he’s the real deal.”
Reo doesn’t need to look behind to see Nagi’s lips puckered into a pout. Nagi mumbles something, low and petulant, and Reo doesn’t make out his words over the sound of his own thoughts.
“What was that, my treasure?”
Nagi speaks through the pucker of his lips, burying himself on the plush car seat. “I said, what if they give me a shot?”
Reo looks at Baaya for good measure.
“Of course they will. They’re really thorough, you know.”
Nagi’s look of horror is precious, but he tries his hardest not to break.
“Hmm, yeah,” he pretends to think. “You’ll probably need multiple shots. They have to get a blood sample too. That’s what they always make me do.”
“Baaya, please drop me off. Please. I’m not going, Reo, you can’t make me.”
Reo couldn’t hide a snicker at that, and then he’s laughing, throwing his head back on his headrest. In the backseat, Nagi’s lips have impossibly gone poutier.
“Reo’s a meanie.”
“Sorry. I’m just messing with you, my treasure. Well, if you do need vaccines, it won’t have to be an injection.” Yes, transdermal patches, intranasal sprays––they can work that out. But god, Nagi being afraid of injections. He’s like a baby. Reo can’t help but smile.
“Though, we can’t do anything if they want to take your blood…”
“Oh my god, Reo. ”
Reo laughs even harder. Even Baaya shakes her head, helpless.
“Be brave, my treasure!”
xxx
They get ushered into the clinic in their family’s building, the doctor standing to welcome them from the private room. Nagi hasn’t let go of Reo’s shoulder since coming out of the car, and now he’s trepid as he regards a nurse fixing their phlebotomy kit.
“Young master, it’s my pleasure.”
“Please take care of Nagi, doctor.”
Nagi is seated, and Reo perches himself on the armrest of Nagi’s chair. It’s an effort to reassure Nagi, he tells himself, but really it’s for him to calm his own worried nerves.
“What seems to be the problem, master Nagi?”
Nagi gives Reo an unsure look. Then, as if biting the bullet, he rubs a hand behind his nape, and the lazy drawl of his voice lists out his symptoms.
Reo, for his own sake, tries to push down the connections between what Nagi is saying and the referenced cancers and degenerative diseases listed in the internet. But Reo's brain is too quick for his own good, so when Nagi says things like words look fuzzy and the sides of my head throb , Reo is already thinking 6 different kinds of cancers and nerve issues, and he feels like he might just cry.
“We’ll have to run some tests,” says the doctor. “Please, follow me.”
They go about their rounds–temperature, blood pressure, physical checks. Then the doctor pulls out an optotype from afar and asks Nagi to read line by line. It goes well until he comes closer to Nagi, and suddenly he can’t see clearly anymore. At this point Reo has to force himself to breathe manually, pained to see Nagi having such a hard time.
The doctor takes a short time with the computer while Reo waits with bated breath. Nagi is still warily looking at the nurse fixing various sizes of syringes.
“Alright, we have a diagnosis, young master.”
Reo places himself between the doctor and Nagi, clutching at his friend’s hand. The doctor pulls up Nagi’s results, and he says, “It’s hyperopia.”
“Oh no Reo, they’ll scoop out my eye––” Nagi’s attempt at escaping is thwarted by Reo’s hold, who finally lets out a sigh of relief. Thank god he’s studied for this. He’s read about the condition. Nagi will live.
“Farsightedness, right?”
“Yes. Just a prescription of glasses and you should be good to go.” Then the doctor adds amusedly, “No scooping out of eyeballs necessary.”
Good. Very, very good! Reo is invigorated by the news. Nagi just blanks out, lips jutting forward as he’s shaken by Reo by the shoulders.
“Just glasses, Nagi!” Reo almost jumps at him. He holds Nagi’s face with both hands, possibly elated. “Oh, and hey doc, I bet it’s because he stays up late playing games huh! I’ve been telling you, Nagi!” Nagi doesn’t even have the dignity to look guilty.
They have an in-house optometrist, Baaya and the doctor explain––they’re on another floor, though, and Nagi dumbly regards how wealthy the Mikages are. Reo is skipping with every step as he pulls Nagi along, freed from the worry that was tormenting him earlier.
It’s the alarm on Reo’s phone going off that halts them on their tracks. Some urgent business thing his father wants to talk about after knowing he was in the building. Nagi's shoulders fall downwards, but he’s understanding when Reo excuses himself, entrusting the rest of Nagi’s appointment to Baaya.
“Oh right, Nagi, you could probably get contacts instead of glasses.”
“Hmm…whichever’s less bothersome.”
“You should get both. Get him both, Baaya.” Baaya bows in affirmation. The elevator door closes but Reo still calls out. “Make sure you’re comfortable with what you get okay?”
“Okay, Reo.”
“And pick a frame that looks cute!”
“Like a Hello Kitty one?”
Reo tries to look as unimpressed as possible, but he just ends up half-smiling. His best friend could be so ridiculous sometimes.
“I'm saying pick something you'd look good in. Baaya, please control that guy.”
xxx
“Eh?? Only now? We thought you’d notice earlier, Reocchi,” Bachira asks innocently, the corner of his mouth smeared with melted chocolate ice cream.
Isagi swipes at it with a napkin. “That’s rude, Bach. Nagi should be responsible for himself. And well, he didn’t really listen to any of us, did he.”
“And Reo’s been busy,” Chigiri’s right. The fiscal year is coming to a close and he’s been swamped, reading up reports and thinking about how to tie up loose ends.
Apparently, Nagi’s problem with his eyes has been going on for a couple more days before Reo had even noticed it. Their group of friends have asked Nagi to see about it, but the overgrown toddler has been stubborn––Rin’s words––and all of them have collectively failed in persuading Nagi to set an appointment with his doctor.
“Mikage didn’t notice because that guy's always an infant baby man with him. That fucker never has to do anything around Mikage so he couldn’t have gotten a clue.” Barou grunts.
The normal person would see this as a slight against Nagi, but see, Reo's an exceptional boy. Because it’s him that takes care of Nagi, he can’t help but feel a little disappointed with himself over Barou's comment.
Bachira's right. He should’ve noticed way sooner.
“It’s settled now, at least. He got glasses yesterday.”
Bachira whistles. “So Nagicchi’s some four-eyes now huh…”
“He’ll look like a damn old-timer,” Rin snorts.
“Like a yeti with specs!”
"He's like. Bug-eyed and all, so he should've gotten small frames. You should've made him get small frames." Chigiri says.
"No, no get frames like Chamber's!" Bachira counters. "Right, Isagi?!"
"Whatever helps him play better. I personally hope he got the thickest, most hipster pair possible," is Isagi's contribution.
"Googly-eyed yeti!" yeah Reo just lets Bachira be.
He doesn't really know what it is, but their group of friends never hold back when it comes to Nagi. Nagi's his best friend! Don't they see how shiny, how amazing his treasure is?
He can't bring himself to laugh along, so he just resigns to smiling politely. It's all friendly banter anyway. But there's no way Nagi would look bad with glasses, even if there's a chance that the frames he picked aren't the best ones. Reo will just have to fix it then. He resolves to compliment Nagi no matter what, just in case their friends go overboard with the teasing.
"He'll look like a fucking dweeb!" Barou roars with laughter. "Like a fucking hentai pervert with his headass hair! Mikage, it'd be better to stay away from him after this."
“Hey. Why the fuck is this gorilla talking.” Nagi menaces, coming from behind Barou.
Their table goes quiet. It's like the world stops. Reo thinks he hears angels singing.
Nagi’s wearing rectangular glasses with thin, silver metal frames. They complement his large hooded eyes nicely, creating a pleasant balance with the shape of Nagi’s face.
“Oh thank fuck. You actually look good,” says Chigiri. Bachira erupts into joyous disbelief. Even Rin and Barou don’t have anything to say. Reo doesn’t break from his reverie.
Reo was correct. There is no way Nagi would look bad with glasses–in fact, it’s the exact opposite. He’s always known Nagi to be pleasant looking, but it’s always been a passive, subconscious acknowledgement. It’s yanked into the forefront of Reo’s brain now, and he staggers over the realization:
Nagi’s super handsome.
The frame looks a lot like their friend Zantetsu’s, actually, only its effect on Nagi’s appearance is leagues away from how it elevates Zantetsu’s look. And their prescription glasses too. Is visual impairment supposed to be this hot?
All of his preparations to compliment his friend go down the drain. He’s deafened by his own unintelligible thoughts, the chatter and begrudging appreciation from their table lost to his ears. Reo only regains part of his senses when Nagi grabs his arm to rest his head on it, looking up at Reo.
“Reo?”
Reo goes into cardiac arrest.
This. This is what gods would look like if they wore glasses.
“What does Reo think?”
“…you…your g-glasses look good––” except, Reo straight up gags, the heavy beating of his heart confusing his insides. His head is spinning, not far off from how books describe the feeling of looking at something positively celestial. It’s either Reo’s heart has stopped, or it’s beating so fast that his body can’t differentiate them. His nose could be bleeding. He doesn’t notice the table taken aback over his reaction.
“A-ah, uhm…I have to go!”
“Reo––”
“N-no! I need a moment, Nagi.”
Nagi stands dumbly in place, processing the fact that Reo didn’t so much as look back at him.
Quickly swallowing a bite of sandwich, Barou doesn’t miss the moment to cackle. “Ha! The glasses might be fine, but your ugly mug made Mikage sick!”
“Shut the fuck up Barou.”
Nagi doesn’t say anything else for the rest of lunch time.
xxx
It’s Zantetsu, of all people, who confronts Reo about his reaction earlier.
“Beauty is in the eye of the bewilder. Reo, how dare you call Nagi ugly.” Zantetsu punctuates by slamming his locker shut.
“–—what. It’s beholder, stupid.”
“You’re shallow! He just got glasses, how dare you call Nagi ugly!”
Butterflies swarm from Reo’s stomach and swallow his heart at the reminder. Nagi in glasses…
“I-I…I didn’t call Nagi ugly!” Reo’s even sure he managed to croak out a praise. Sure, he ran away, but who the hell wouldn’t, confronted with that beauty? If he hadn’t, he’s sure he would’ve combusted there and there, guts splattering across Nagi’s perfect, perfect eyeglasses.
“You upset him. You upset my brother in eyes.”
“Brothers in arms. And that doesn’t even make sense.”
He means it for both Zantetsu's statements. How could Reo have upset Nagi?
It turns out Chigiri could hear them over the sound of his hairdryer, and he tells Reo, “You totally bailed. You gagged in his face, dude. What was that about?”
What the fuck, “Did I?”
Reo tries his best to explain how seeing Nagi had made him feel, devoting all of his fried brain cells into filtering the words handsome and beautiful and ethereal even if they’re the primary words he would have chosen to describe how Nagi had looked to him.
“I see what this is about,” Chigiri says knowingly. He’s got a look on his face that makes Reo feel nervous. “Young love sure is difficult huh.”
“No, what he did was the opposite of love. Reo was a monster.” Zantetsu is even glaring at him.
“Well, in any case, you should clear things up with him. He was seriously down after that. Didn’t even talk to any of us, that bastard.”
Shit, I fucked up , Reo admits to himself. It’s an unfamiliar admission, and it makes him feel terrible. Of course he knows he should fix things, but he’s also unsure of how he’d be with Nagi. There’s a deep sense of foreboding brewing in his chest.
“Talk to him, Reo. We’re his friends too, but god knows. It’s only what you think that matters to him.”
xxx
Of course, Reo only evades Nagi for a grand total of less than three hours (really only sparing Reo’s PE class), even if they didn’t share a class that day.
He’s taken his glasses off. Reo’s unsure if it’s disappointment or concern that he’s feeling. An insidious, third thing, feeling suspiciously like fluttering wings in his stomach confuses Reo’s feelings further.
“Reo!”
Nagi bumps into a table, hard, as he runs to approach Reo.
“Oi! Nagi, watch where you’re going! Uh...where are your glasses?”
“...you don’t like me with them. Sorry. I didn’t know which ones were cute. Though Baaya said it looked fine…”
So he's not wearing them because of Reo, even though he clearly needs them. He swallows the guilt, ready to apologize to every god in existence for making Nagi feel even a little bit less than.
“A-about that, Nagi, I…”
“Hey Reo,” Reo struggles to look him in the eye.
“It’s embarrassing to say aloud but…I didn’t think I looked bad. Everyone else didn’t mind…you couldn't even look at me….did you really dislike me in them?”
God his voice sounds so dejected. “No! Oh no, my treasure, not at all!” his treasure had looked so good, actually, that Reo forgot to function like a normal human being. Nagi brings Reo’s hand up to his cheek. His skin is cold. Reo’s own hands are trembling with guilt.
“Listen, I…I…like…it. The glasses fit you. You looked s-super h-handsome.”
And Nagi glows upon hearing it, cheeks warming instantaneously. It’s absurd. Reo is used to showering Nagi with praise. Just now it felt like he was carving out a piece of his heart and chewing it like gum.
Nagi takes a case out of his pocket and opens it to Reo like an offering. Who could believe that such an innocuous piece of accessory could reduce Reo Mikage in such an awkward, blubbering mess? Shaky fingers unfold the pair of glasses to perch them on Nagi’s nose.
“See? Handsome.”
So very, very handsome.
When Nagi smiles, Reo thinks he could praise Nagi for all his life.
xxx
It’s a paradigm shift, is what it is, and not just for Reo.
If before, girls were confused about whether Nagi Seishiro was actually attractive or not, it certainly isn’t the case anymore now. Barou looks on, gobsmacked as another girl piles up a box of chocolates on the three packages already on Nagi’s arm.
“What the fuck. You just got glasses and everyone else went blind.” Barou easily dodges the box that’s sent hurling his way.
Reo winces when the girls now giggle at Nagi and Barou’s antics. Before, they’d go so far as scolding Nagi for needlessly provoking Barou, regardless of who actually started the fight.
“Sigh, everyone’s so shallow huh. Now that Nagicchi is handsome, everyone wants him…” Bachira pouts.
“Wearing glasses just sobered up his look. It’s always been obvious that Nagi was handsome,” Isagi drawls disinterestedly. “He’s also tall and gets good grades. Honestly, it’s such a shitty world…”
He overhears someone say that they’ve actually really liked Nagi since the beginning. Reo doesn’t understand why he’s so angry to hear it. Then where the hell were you for him? , he chides in his head.
He won’t forget. How alone Nagi was––no, how alone both of them were––before they met each other. But Reo was raised to smile and be friendly and remember names of people barely likes, and that distracted him from his own loneliness. On the other hand, Nagi was cognizant of his own, but instead of anything else, he’d chosen a cactus to seek comfort in, never daring reach out and let in anyone.
To think just how much their lives changed because Reo tossed a soccer ball to a boy he felt strangely pulled towards, and the said boy making an exemption to take someone's hand for the first time in his life…
Nagi had whispered, that one night spent together in his home, how he had felt so lost, unable and unwilling to seek and create meaningful relationships with others, thinking that it couldn’t ever be pleasant or worth it to get to know anyone on any level.
“Living is a pain. Everyone else is a bother… ”
But Reo knows, that an outcome like that isn’t so much a personal defect as it is a societal failing–sometimes, the people who need help the most are those who don’t know that they need it. We can’t ask for something we’ve never been familiar with. Some need an example first, a precedent; a little more push than others, a little more love. Reo might have been alone, but he’s been luckier than most when it comes to this, and it was Reo who had a lot of that love to give.
“I didn’t think being with anyone could be comfortable or fun.”
“Thank you for finding me, Reo. ”
A boy with baby blue hair passes Nagi by the hallway, and Nagi wholly drops the chocolates on the ground to rush towards him, starting up a conversation himself.
The Nagi of the past would have never initiated anything. He’s grown since then. Reo is happy for him. He should feel happy. Instead, he’s nauseous as he watches Nagi pinch the shorter boy’s hair, who tucks the same strand behind his ear, playfully punching Nagi’s shoulder. Jealousy is an unfamiliar tenant in Reo’s stomach.
“It was just a matter of time for other people to start looking at him,” Isagi continues, not looking up from his paper.
“...you alright there, Reocchi?”
“Yeah. Yes, of course.”
xxx
“Wow. It’s like you’re an idiot.” Zantetsu, of all people, tells Reo.
“Pot calling the kettle black, bitch. You try falling in love with your best friend.”
“No thanks, Nagi will kill me. And it’s actually bat calling the kitty black––”
“Ugh, so you’ve realized you’ve got a crush––so what? Reo, just because everyone else knew before you did doesn’t mean that you're an idiot. Self-awareness is hard.” Chigiri comforts, scrolling boredly through his phone. He’s taken Reo’s shattering world in stride, as if he’s always known where this was heading.
“Besides, there’s no chance Nagi doesn’t like you back.”
Reo tries his best not to refute it, but he’s got a hundred arguments that could prove Chigiri wrong. He screams into a couch pillow instead.
It’s the first time Reo’s feeling so stupid. Realizing he loves Nagi came to him like searching for a phone that’s always been in his hand this whole time. Now here he is, bemoaning his lately-realized love to his friends as they wait for Nagi’s esports tournament to start.
They can’t actually see them on stage from up in their private suite, but Reo can faintly see the white fluff of Nagi’s hair among the gaming chairs lined up at the center of the arena. It helps that Nagi’s so tall. And muscular. And handsome. His pillow could burst from how tightly he’s holding it.
“It’s damn funny though.” Chigiri is amused, and it’s almost mocking. “I didn’t think it’d take Nagi getting glasses to make you realize it.”
“Because he is an idiot.”
“That is worth nothing coming from you, stupid Zantetsu!”
The screen flashes with the feed of cameras focused on each participant. Nagi’s in their team’s hoodie, large earphones donned and the sinful glasses haphazardly hanging by his ears. The boy with light blue hair–Hiori, he’s since learned–twists in his seat to fix Nagi’s glasses for him. Reo’s fingers dig into his palm.
Their game goes smoothly, Reo catching Nagi’s character score a bunch of kills and occasionally plant a successful bomb. Sometimes he’d get killed himself, and the camera would show him with a frustrated pout, sometimes rubbing at his eyes from behind his glasses. At times like those, Reo would think, God, how is he this cute? Nowadays, just seeing Nagi is enough to make Reo cry.
And of course they win, Bachira slapping a hand on Isagi’s mouth who’s no doubt ready to swear gods out of their seats in heaven to gloat their victory. All the way down, Reo thinks he sees Nagi staring straight at him.
When they go down the stadium to congratulate their friends, Reo is halted by a reporter that recognizes him–that actually, he recognizes too.
“Kenyu! Didn’t expect to see you here!” Reo naturally wraps his arms around him in greeting.
Yukimiya’s smile is warm. “I wouldn’t have expected you here either.”
“You’ve got a mic. You’re reporting now too?”
“It’s a booming industry, gaming.” Yukki’s probably got a foot in the door too, courtesy of his parents in the media industry. Mikage Tech does dabble in the market for gaming, and Reo himself has channeled a couple of heavy angel investments in indie games Nagi has talked about. He’s still debating actually entering the field himself, because although it is a good time to get in, he wouldn’t want to jeopardize Nagi’s budding career.
“Who’s this guy, Reo.” He jumps when Nagi creeps up on him. Reo recovers to congratulate him quickly, ruffling his hair, and Nagi ever so slightly pulls on him until he’s got Reo inside his arms, resting a heavy head on his shoulders.
“My name’s Yukimikya Kenyu. You’re Nagi Seishiro, right? Do you think I can interview you?” Yukimiya isn’t deterred by Nagi’s dead stare. At the lack of response, Reo elbows Nagi, peeling himself away from him.
“Sorry about this kid. Hey now, Nagi, talk to Yukki okay? Be polite, I’ll go get you lemon tea.”
The interview must have finished already when Reo returns, and instead he finds Nagi with his teammates––Bachira, Isagi, Hiori, and Rin––signing things and whatnot. Well, all but one of them anyway. Nagi looks like he could shrink behind Hiori, chair pushed backwards, and whenever Hiori finishes whatever he’s writing he hands them straight to Nagi, who looks like he’s just drawing a dot on them.
It’s enough to make Reo unable to move forward, feeling like he's disturbing something (he doesn't understand that he's feeling jealous). But he doesn’t really need to move from his place. Nagi spots him, spine straightening like he’s come to life, and he abandons whatever he was even doing to walk briskly towards Reo. When he’s close enough to violate any normal person’s personal bubble, Nagi softens back to his usual spoiled self, taking the lemon tea that Reo’s already opened for him.
“You’re the best, Reo.”
And he’s so weak against his best friend. Reo’s supposed to feel weird and awkward now that he’s in love with him, but he keeps thinking that he can’t just give up what they have right now.
“Give me a piggyback ride, Reo.” He’s already got his head nestled on Reo’s neck. In what universe could he ever live without this? If Reo, raised to be spoiled and greedy, goes and demands what he wants from Nagi, and if Nagi rejects him, would anything change? Could Reo live with that rejection? Reo isn’t so brave to want to know the answer.
To hell with my feelings.
He hoists Nagi onto his back. It’s like a warm, weighted blanket draped over him, and at least in that moment, Nagi on his shoulders makes Reo forget about his own heavy heart.
xxx
There’s an afterparty for the tournament, and of course their whole friend group gets a free pass. The event is studded with streamers, e-celebrities, and other pro gamers, not like Reo would know who they are. In reality, it’s a bunch of shut-ins who don’t have a clear grasp of the real world. Reo hasn’t even been recognized for who he is, which is as strange as industry events go already, and it’s almost refreshing, if not for how out of place he feels. He’s still flirted on every now and then, and it’s easy to navigate himself out of it but he feels so damn lost that he’s just itching to bolt straight home.
Reo doesn't, by any means, feel anxious in social situations, but tonight is going like it’s about to change that. The absence of a distinct, 190 centimeter tall presence beside him just might be the reason why.
He’d come to the party with Nagi. Then Hiori came to finally introduce himself to Reo, just as swiftly as he borrowed Nagi from him, apparently needing another media thing with their teammates. Rin gets impatient, Bachira’s ADHD is just about to explode, and Reo understands, so he encourages Nagi to cooperate well with them.
It’s been an hour since then. Nagi had left Reo with their friends, but Chigiri had already run off to some restroom stall with Kunigami, Zantetsu has a curfew, and Barou had an emergency with his roommate. And then there's the knowledge that Nagi had come with him, but now he’s not beside him anymore. Because he’s with Hiori. In short, Reo’s never felt so alone in a room full of people.
He spots Nagi, finally, leaning on a table, next to a bowl of fruit punch, and he drinks from the cup that Hiori offers him. He’s wearing his damned eyeglasses. He’s motionless as Hiori takes it from him, trying them on for himself, fuck , Reo is horror-stricken that he just lets him , it’s so irrational and lame to feel this way and Reo tries to remove himself from the scene as quickly as possible, thinking it’s not a big deal, don’t think about it but he chances one last look at Nagi and––
Nagi is smiling. His glasses are on crooked as Hiori returns them, and he’s smiling, teeth showing as he adjusts them.
Reo's eyes are sting. Then he turns so fast, desperate to hide himself, that he knocks onto someone.
“I’m so sorry––”
“Reo? You’re alone?” It’s Yukimiya. Yukimiya has soft, warm brown eyes, even softer with the look of concern he’s showing, and Reo already feels so vulnerable. The tears keep flowing no matter how quickly he swipes at them, but Yukimiya is ready with a handkerchief.
“Did anyone…try anything…?” Reo knows what he’s talking about. They both know how easy it is for any party to turn south, and Yukimiya’s already pulling him into a one-armed hug, protective. He’s so nice , thinks Reo. He can’t help hugging a little bit back for comfort. Yukimiya hugs him wholly in response, holding the back of Reo’s head to press the two of them close together. He feels Yukimiya’s dress shirt go wet from his tears, but still he helps hide Reo’s crying face, and Reo can’t say how grateful he is.
He remembers to reassure Yukimiya. But Reo can only speak in a slow, soft, manner, lest he let himself fully breakdown.
“No, it’s not like that… hah .” He rubs his eyes but the tears just keep going. Yukki helps by dabbing the wetness on his chin. “Uhm. Ah, I’m sorry. Yukki, thank you, I have to––”
“What the fuck is going on here?”
Who––
It’s Nagi. Colder, harsher, than he’s ever heard him before. Reo doesn’t think Nagi spoke aloud, but he freezes, even his crying finally coming to a halt.
Yukimiya lets go of him gently. Nagi took one look at Reo, eyes darkening before he all but tears Reo away from Yukimiya, pushing past to shove the latter by the chest and grabbing his shirt collar.
“I fucking knew it. I knew it, and I told you and you didn’t fucking listen.”
“Nagi what’s––”
“Don’t think you’re getting away with this,” Nagi hisses. Reo takes in the dark vortex of his eyes, the unblinking stare. His face is dangerously blank and his grip looks strong, vicious, and it’s a credit to Yukimiya that he’s kept his calm enough to keep things from getting worse.
Then Nagi pushes Yukimiya hard.
“Nagi–!” He swats Reo’s hand away when he reaches for the brunette. Nagi sways at his feet, so he plants his toes heavily on the ground to steady himself. His face hasn’t changed, looking intently at Yukimiya.
“You’re drunk, Nagi.” Yukimiya says carefully. “Let Reo take you home.”
“Don’t fucking say his name.”
Reo’s scared. He’s never seen Nagi like this before, and he’s terrified. He clutches Nagi’s hoodie helplessly, “Please, Nagi let’s just––”
Nagi clicks his tongue. “Don’t start being a bother, Reo.”
Reo doesn’t know how he reacts. All he registers is his heart falling onto the ground, shattering into a million pieces.
Seeing just how shell-shocked Reo looks, Yukimiya immediately pushes Nagi away from Reo. Chaos erupts as onlookers finally intervene to keep them off each other, and Nagi pulls his own fists back to retaliate, but he’s broken out of his haze by the faint sound of a choked off sob amidst all the noise.
The rest of the others stop moving too. Everyone is looking at me cry , thinks Reo unhappily, but at least Nagi looks so shocked by it that he’s frozen over. It’s Yukimiya who recovers first, and he’s careful as he approaches Reo, still wary of Nagi standing by.
“I couldn’t let him say that, Reo. Please, stop crying.”
“I’m sorry for my friend,” Reo tries to smile, even as he’s still unable to keep the tears from flowing. “Thank you for comforting me earlier, Yukki, when I was feeling sad.” He’s trying so hard to ignore Nagi, who’s still standing dumbly in place, watching Reo fail to catch his tears.
He tries to breathe before anything else. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. The tears aren’t stopping, and he probably looks dumb, but he lets himself face Nagi. Nagi thaws, and he tries to touch Reo’s face, but Reo moves away from him.
“Reo…”
Reo doesn’t have to say anything to make Nagi follow him outside.
He ends up feeling even more stupid when he realizes he’s finally stopped crying now that they’re alone. Nagi doesn’t start the conversation, because of course he doesn’t, even though he looks like he wants to say something.
“Tell me what set you off,” sniffs Reo, only sparing on glance to look at Nagi. He sends a quick message to Baaya, asking to fetch them home.
“That guy liked you, Reo,” Nagi accuses, as if it were an offense that Reo’s made. “He liked you and he was just touching you like that.”
Reo is appalled, “What the fuck are you saying, Nagi? Yukimiya couldn’t touch me? Why is that?”
“Because. ”
“Because you say so?”
Nagi laughs once, disbelieving. Before this night Reo would have never thought him capable of that noise. “Reo, you can’t be this oblivious,” it’s only the fact that Nagi’s actually drunk that he’s able to say that. The tone of it makes Reo’s blood boil.
“Excuse me? ”
“You were crying Reo. You were crying and he held you as if he had any right to. You know he wasn’t supposed to, but you let him anyway––he must have taken advantage of you!”
Nagi’s drunk. Nagi’s drunk and it’s the only explanation why he’s saying things that Reo’s having trouble understanding.
“Why wasn’t he supposed to hold me, Nagi? Why the fuck do I know that he wasn’t supposed to?”
“Because you don’t even like him!” Nagi’s gestures are wild and uncontrolled, and they’re upsetting Reo. “Reo, you don’t even let me see you cry. Why would you let that guy hold you when you don’t even like him?”
“Maybe because I do like him you idiot!” Reo screams. He’s confused at what Nagi is saying, why Nagi looks so convinced and it’s enough to make him feel like he might cry again.
“What do you know about anything?! Why the hell are you deciding if I like Yukki or not! God forbid anyone actually, genuinely fucking likes me! Why do you even care?!”
“Reo, you don’t like––”
Reo doesn’t give him the chance. It’s his turn now, and he won’t let Nagi pretend like he has the slightest idea of how Reo’s been feeling.
“You don’t even fucking know why I was crying. You left me for Hiori, Nagi. I was alone and there you were, having such a good time.”
It snaps Nagi into soberness, and the realization is quick on him. “You thought me and Hiori had something going on with each other?”
“Oh fuck off––”
“Hiori’s my friend,” Nagi says and Reo hates that tone he’s using with him.
“Well Kenyu’s also my friend! And maybe I have a stupid crush on him too!”
“Don’t call him by that name. Reo, it isn’t Yukimiya you like.”
“Then who the fuck do I like?! ”
Reo doesn’t catch himself saying it. If he had, he would have fled immediately, knowing he’d just made a mistake. Nagi, who’s had enough, takes full advantage of this blunder.
He kisses Reo.
It’s swift, but smooth, even as Nagi smells a little bit like alcohol and Reo doesn’t even kiss back. It’s as shity as it could be as far as first kisses go, but it leaves Nagi’s lips tingling even if all he tasted is Reo’s sadness.
Then he whispers, low and certain, “Me. It’s only me that Reo likes. Not anyone else. ”
It makes Reo’s eyes sting all over again. He can’t get over how embarrassed he feels over being found out, can't get over how smug Nagi’s being, and can't get over how stupid he feels because he can’t even be sure of anything because Nagi is drunk. His best friend had just drunk kissed him, because it turns out, Nagi knows that Reo is in love with him.
He doesn’t ask yet how long Nagi has known. Doesn’t know if he ever will. The conclusion to Reo is clear: Nagi knew how Reo felt, god knows for how long now, and he never did anything about it.
That was my first kiss. And you don’t even like me back, do you, you asshole.
The tears that pool in his eyes are hot and painful, but they don’t fall. Nagi tries to speak to him, but he’s spared from saying anything when Baaya arrives, ready to take them home.
xxx
It’s two days of no contact with Reo, and a Kunigami demanding to hear Nagi’s side later, that Nagi finally recounts what he did that night at the party.
“Thievers are bad for the children. Your idiocy tore this family apart,” is Zantetsu’s verdict, who's been worn down himself over the fact that his two best friends weren’t geting along.
“Thievers what–? Divorce? Does he fucking mean divorce?” Rin asks, scandalized at how erroneous that sentence just was.
“Probably. That really wasn’t cool though, Nagi,” Kunigami weighs in. “You drunk kissed him. And he thinks you played with his emotions. No wonder Chigiri’s mad at you too.”
“Your face is shit, your personality is shit, your smell is shit,” quips Barou. “Don’t know what Mikage saw in you. Rich folk sure have weird tastes.”
“Trip on a rock and die, Barou.”
Thinking is a pain, though he always tries when it’s for Reo, but his predicament now just might be the most frustrating problem he’s ever faced.
The thing is, Nagi doesn’t think he did anything wrong. Well maybe one thing––he let Reo cry for too long, and when he spotted him the day after the party, his eyes looked so red and swollen. Nagi had almost groveled to his knees right then and there, if not for Chigiri steering Reo away from him. But the rest of what he did, he doesn’t regret at all. He thinks they were a long time coming.
The kiss. Reo's realization. Nagi has always loved Reo, and Reo loved Nagi too, Nagi knows, even if at first he chose to call them best friends. That was fine because it was true, and because Nagi could wait. But Nagi, drunk and truthful and impatient that night, was a little too honest with his greed, and in that moment, with his jealousy, too. Yukimiya dared try and take what was his. It was an act of disrespect, Nagi thinks, one he couldn’t let pass. He only acted aptly in response.
“Reo loves me,” he says, because it’s just a fact. Nagi has always known, has always been grateful for it, has always been greedy for it.
Zantetsu nods. Rin rolls his eyes. Barou gags. “His one fatal flaw.”
“Reo loves me, ” Nagi threatens. “I kissed him because he was upset, and we’re in love with each other, so it should have been fine.”
Kunigami massages his temples. “That’s really not how it works, Nagi.”
“Why the hell doesn’t it work that way–”
“I am astounded, how cocky your mediocre, plebiscite head could be.” Barou mocks. “ Reo loves me––bah. Who the fuck fucking says that?”
Fucking me, that's who. Because it’s me that Reo loves, shitty idiot King.
“You disagreeing? ” Nagi challenges. He’s had enough since Kunigami and was ready to leave these shitheads be, but now that Barou's starting some shit, Nagi can’t just back down.
“This is making my fucking IQ drop––sure your lukewarm self has always loved Reo since the beginning or whatever the fuck. And now Reo’s realized that he likes you. Then why did he start acting like that? Why couldn’t he have just told you?”
Kunigami looks on approvingly. It’s the right questions to ask. If the only thing that’s changed recently––apart from Nagi getting glasses––is that Reo’s realized his true feelings, then all that he would have had to do was tell Nagi that he felt the same now. That yes, Reo, too, wants to be something more than they already are, not because they want things to change between them, but because if there’s another thing Nagi and Reo shared between them, it’d be the desperate greed they have when it comes to each other.
Finally realizing how he feels, all Reo had to do was tell Nagi that he loves him back.
Unless…
There's one damning reason for all of this. Dread sinks in on Nagi. Partly shame, partly disbelief, and pure, distilled regret. Kunigami sees it in realtime, and his eyes turn kind, sympathetic towards Nagi.
“You know, Nagi, Reo’s smart, but he isn’t omniscient. He doubts himself, too, and when it comes to this, well…you can’t expect him to know it if you’ve never actually told him.”
The reason Reo had yet to tell him he loves him back, is that he’s never heard it from Nagi in the first place.
Reo has never known Nagi’s own feelings, because it’s never been obvious to him. The “Nagi that loves Reo silently” is the only Nagi Reo knows, Nagi having been afraid that if he were any more greedy, Reo would have gotten spooked and leave him.
Nagi had grown too comfortable, too complacent. In waiting so long for Reo, Nagi had thought Reo would see Nagi’s feelings for how they were when they finally reached the same page. He hadn’t realized, thinking he was putting Reo’s feelings first, that he’s never gone out of his way to actually make Reo feel that to Nagi, Reo’s always been more than just a best friend.
I’m a total fucking idiot.
Barou sits straight from his seat. “Oh you big footed moron...Am I getting this right? You’re being a bitch and you’ve never actually told Mikage you loved him?”
“Reo hasn’t told him either,” Rin rolls his eyes. “They’re both being bitches–”
“Don’t call Reo that, ” comes Nagi’s warning.
“In any case, Nagi, I think it’s clear what you should do now,” says Kunigami, reclining to the back of his seat. Young love is so complicated. He knows Chigiri is probably having it worse with a moping Reo, and honestly, Kunigami just wants his boyfriend back.
“Meet with him as soon as possible, please. I'm sure that's all it'll take. You both deserve to be happy.”
Zantetsu nods. “Yes, go mate with Reo asap please.”
“ Dude– ”
“Got it,” Nagi says, finally standing up. “And I'll do my best, Zantetsu.”
xxx
Reo's been riding shotgun these days, and if it's because he's broken down crying over how empty the backseat feels in the middle of a drive, nobody else has to know except for Baaya.
When he opens the car door he sees that an old football has taken up his seat. He doesn't get the time to be apprehensive about it because Baaya is picking him up from beside a main road.
"What's this, Baaya…?" There's a note. There's a note and there's a sick feeling sinking in on Reo, because suspects he knows what this must be about.
"Master Seishiro has requested something from me," says Baaya, voice kept carefully neutral. "The young master can always overwrite it, of course."
It looks like she's giving Reo an out, but really, it's because she'd be helpless if Reo realizes half way and then demand to turn around. Baaya has Nagi's phone number in that case. One could argue it might be out of line for a caretaker to even meddle with something like this, but everything Baaya does is to ensure her young master's happiness.
Reo doesn't think any of that, of course, and he rubs the note between his thumb.
Play football with me this time, Reo, the note reads.
Nagi's bringing up the past, their first time meeting. He doesn’t have enough clarity to recall that exact day, only remembering the novel feeling of ridiculous exuberance––he got Nagi to play with him!––and it makes his heartache all the more excruciating now.
Looking back on it, Reo thinks he might have loved Nagi since then.
He closes his eyes, steadying his breath.
"Let's just get this over with, Baaya."
It’s night time, so the field is empty except for the two of them. Nagi’s standing around the penalty area, facing the goal all the way to the other side of the entrance.
Reo doesn’t call him out. He doesn’t even dare look at Nagi’s direction, but Nagi whips his head around the moment Reo steps on the turf. He jogs all the way to meet him, Reo keeping his pace slow, so when they're close enough to be able to hear each other they’re just a few meters away from the other goal post. Reo drops the ball and kicks it towards Nagi.
“Is this like. For a class or something,” Reo sniffs. A ridiculous part of himself wishes this will be as simple as that.
“I have something to tell you, Reo,” Nagi takes the ball and rolls it under his feet. He explains quickly, “Three kicks. If I score all of them you’re hearing me out. If I don’t, I’ll do anything you want.”
“I don’t want anything from you,” he’s trying to sound mean, as if he means it, but it comes out sulky and petulant. So much for trying to seem less pathetic.
“But I do. Reo, please.”
Reo curses his weak, weak heart.
He takes to position silently. By then, he has no choice but to look at Nagi, and he sees that the other is wearing his glasses. That can’t be comfortable to play in , is the thought Reo focuses on, distracting himself from how handsome Nagi looks.
Then Nagi breaks the silence.
“During that party…After I left you, the organizers talked for so long. I got bored so I drank some punch. I didn’t think it had that much alcohol.”
“...I don’t really care anymore,” comes Reo’s lie. Nagi's expected that Reo wouldn’t be good for a conversation right now. It’s why he’s prepared this whole game in the first place.
“Then, here I go.”
Reo braces himself. For a moment they meet each other's eyes, just before Nagi takes a running start, angling his foot and making contact, hitting the ball straight into the air.
Reo observes its trajectory. It’s a straight shot, and it hasn’t got much force, but Reo’s a little rusty so he’s just a few centimeters off when he jumps to the left to block it, head shaking when the ball plops to the grass, inside the net. He kicks the ball back at Nagi.
“Hiori’s got a boyfriend. He’s in Kyoto and his name means crow, or something.”
At this, Reo couldn’t help but ruffle up. But he bites his lip and stills himself, and tries to think that Nagi is just psyching him out.
It doesn’t work. Nagi’s second kick sends the ball flying upwards, spinning as it lobs into a curve, so even when Reo almost plants his face to the ground chasing after it, the ball ricochets against the air unpredictably.
“What the fuck is your fucking deal ,” grits Reo. He picks up the ball and throws it at Nagi with both hands.
“I’m trying to talk to you––”
“You’re making fun of me,” Reo hisses. "You're saying shit you think I want to hear, and I'm telling you that I don't want it."
He doesn’t think Nagi could ever be mean and manipulative to invite him to football just so he can make Reo even more of a loser with some stupid game. But he’s hurt, and he misses his best friend, but he feels so wronged too even if he can’t even say exactly why.
“You think you can make me do fucking anything just because I’m in love with you, and you’ve always known and you didn’t fucking care!” Reo’s wrecked by the end of it. He turns away from Nagi as he sobs.
It’s the most painful confession that ever could be, Nagi thinks. His own heart breaks over how much pain he’s caused Reo over a misunderstanding. But now, at least, he sees how much damage he has to fix. The ball is abandoned behind him as he steps towards Reo, all concern and apology as he hugs Reo from behind.
Reo, to Nagi’s gratitude, doesn’t fight it. But he says, “Don’t look at me,” and Nagi has always followed Reo’s demands so this time, he closes his eyes as he holds Reo tighter.
“Reo. I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I overestimated myself. I thought it’d be enough even if I didn’t say it.”
“What the fuck are you talking about,” chokes Reo.
“When I kissed you, did you hate it?” he’s whispering his words, willing Reo to calm down, but the force of Reo’s emotions are difficult to overcome.
“You drunk kissed me, you asshole.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t want our first kiss to go like that either.”
Reo’s crying halts with a stuttering breath. "What?”
Nagi wills all the honesty inside of him. “I’m saying I’ve been wanting to kiss you since forever. Since you first played football with me. I thought to bring you back here so I could tell you because I didn’t think…”
Reo doesn’t know how to respond to it. His pain is now being joined by confusion, and an irrational fear that he’s mishearing something, but before it can explode into a panicked outburst Nagi continues on.
“I didn’t think you never noticed. I’m sorry I didn’t make it seem more obvious. I’m saying I’ve always been in love with you, Reo,” Nagi says softly. “I’ve never said it, and I apologize for that, but I’m saying it now…”
“I love you.”
He isn’t done, but he lets Reo wiggle free, so they could face each other.
“I’m in love with you, Reo. I hope you still love me back.”
Nagi’s eyes are wet and wide behind his glasses, and they’re quivering under the moonlight. It makes him look pitiful and honest, and Reo could only react by responding with the same amount of sincerity.
So Reo wails, loud and uncontrolled.
“You’re such a jerk!” He can’t help but throw himself into Nagi, who catches him.
“I’m in love with you too, you asshole!”
“I know,” and Nagi smiles like he truly does, which makes Reo cry even harder.
“How the hell did you even know?”
Nagi laughs, soft, helpless, fond. This jerk.
“I pay attention. Reo’s too kind to me. Or maybe I just hoped,” he gathers the hair stuck from Reo’s tears.
“But I’ve always known we felt the same about each other. I just didn’t think it’d take you this long to fully realize it. Reo’s a little too silly sometimes, isn’t he.”
“Shut up!” whines Reo. “Argh! I feel so stupid. You have to––you have to make it up to me…!”
He grabs Nagi’s collar. Nagi touches their nose together and keeps them there. Then he asks, quiet as a breath, “Can I really make it up to you?”
Reo answers by leaning in.
xxx
The next day, they’re back together on the school grounds.
Zantetsu spots them and he yells, excited, “I see the mating went well!”
Reo chokes on his drink.
“It went so well that Reo made me his boyfriend,” Nagi says, unfazed.
“H-hey!” Nagi just laughs quietly at Reo’s protest. He coils himself even more around Reo, and Reo lets himself sink in, head nestling on Nagi’s chest just under his chin. He whispers, as Zantetsu settles down with his things.
“Nagi…do you think things will change? Now that we’re…” He lets himself trail off, ashamed that after such a happy night, he’s back to thinking about negative things.
“Things will definitely get worse for you from here on out,” says Nagi jokingly. Reo’s face warms when Nagi nuzzles his nose on Reo’s forehead. “You’ll have to deal with me asking you for kisses all the time now,” and proving his point, he starts kissing Reo’s face.
And Reo says, amid his laughs, “You didn’t even ask if you could this time!”
“Hm, I did,” Nagi says between his kisses. Reo’s almost ticklish now. “Telepathy.”
“I can’t read your mind, you dummy.”
“Reo definitely could,” says Nagi, certain.
It’s ridiculous, but somehow Nagi is always right when it comes to things about Reo. Reo looks at Nagi’s eyes. They’re round and black and bright, shining with a universe of promises inside them, and Reo could get lost just like this. Their message to Reo is crystal clear.
“You’re so annoying,” Reo smiles. “I love you too, Nagi.”
When they kiss, the feeling of it blooms like a large flower unfurling in his chest. It's warm, and soft, and right, and Reo knows he'll want only this for the rest of his life.
“...uhm, I’m still here,” Zantetsu reminds them.
Reo laughs when Nagi pouts. “If you don’t behave, I’ll put you up for adoption, Zantetsu.”
Reo will never be a mind reader, but now he knows that there are languages that go unspoken too. A touch of a hand, a head leaning inward, an insistence to be carried. Nagi isn’t good with words, and the world thinks otherwise but Reo isn’t perfect at decoding Nagi’s actions too, but that doesn’t mean that they can’t master each other’s languages.
Reo thinks about Nagi’s arms still around him, not for a moment letting go, and he knows that little by little, he’s starting to understand. Nagi’s a genius, and he got there before Reo, but Reo’s sure he’ll catch up. They have the rest of their lives to catch up with each other.