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It's not like he hasn’t moved on from Zhongli. He has moved on from him. He doesn't think about him. He doesn't talk about him. He doesn’t base his mood on how he treats him that day. He doesn’t change for Zhongli.
He’s over him. He has been for a while now. The only thing that stopped him from accepting that was the fact he didn’t know how to start a new life without Zhongli being in the picture.
He had gotten so attached to the idea of Zhongli. He didn’t care if Zhongli was in his life or not. As long as Zhongli was somewhere near him, that would’ve sufficed.
He was so attached to the idea of Zhongli that he didn’t know how to go through a day without him. He had felt lost without the presence of Zhongli.
He was attached to the idea of Zhongli because that was his first love. It was his first relationship. All his firsts were with Zhongli.
It’s pathetic. He feels pathetic.
How couldn’t he accept the fact that he didn’t love Zhongli anymore earlier? If he had then he wouldn’t have looked so desperate. If he had no one would look at him with pity. If he had he would’ve been better.
But how could he continue loving Zhongli? How can he love someone that doesn’t care about him? How could he stay hopelessly devoted to a man who doesn't give him a spare glance?
If Zhongli did love him as he had once said, he wouldn’t have spread his business to the entire world.
How can he continue loving a man who believes it’s best to recite his old partner's business? The one he claimed to love with all his heart?
Even after he gave him his word that he wouldn’t say anything. He proceeded to tell everyone he knew his business.
If Zhongli did love him like he once had said, he would’ve put a stop to all the harassment he was facing due to his friend's actions.
How can he continue loving a man who believes it’s right to sit idly as his friends harass someone else? Someone who hasn’t even done anything to them?
Even after he knew how it felt to be harassed by people. They shared almost identical experiences and yet he turned a blind eye to their actions.
If Zhongli did love him like he once had said, he wouldn’t have been treated like a joke. A laughing stock he believed everyone else could laugh down at like pathetic trash.
How can he continue loving a man who lets his friends treat him like a joke? How can he just let his friends laugh at him after saying he didn’t want anything to do with him anymore?
Even after knowing how it felt to be under the gaze of his friends. To be humiliated to the point he didn’t want to face anyone due to fear.
If Zhongli did love him like he once had said, he wouldn’t have let him go through all this misery. He had brought it up to him many times but all Zhongli did was act. He acted like he gave a damn but he didn’t, he never did.
How can he continue loving a man who’s selfish enough to only care about himself? Especially when someone has expressed their feelings many times before. How could he just cast him aside? The one he ‘truly ever loved’?
Even after living the scenarios as him, how couldn’t he sympathize with him? He knew how it felt to be cast aside, for his feelings to be shunned.
If Zhongli did love him like he once had said, he wouldn’t have gotten into a relationship with his best friend.
How can he continue loving a man who got with his best friend? Knowing that it would hurt him. “It just happened.” That’s what his friend had said. “He loves me and I love him as well. That’s how we feel.” How can something just happen? How can feelings just sprout out of nowhere?
Everything happens for a reason. Nothing just happens. There’s always an explanation behind everything. Nothing can just happen. That only happens in fairy tales.
This happened for a reason. The reason behind it was that they both started being flirty with each other. They both knew what they were doing and how this could hurt him. Yet they didn’t give a single damn about him.
Even after knowing his friends were the only happiness he had. The only happiness he had felt in a while. How low could someone go? How can he continue loving a cruel man? Cruel enough to hurt the person he had claimed to love wholeheartedly?
That wasn’t love you hold for someone you used to care about. That’s everything but love. How could someone be outright hateful?
He had moved on from Zhongli. He had for a while now he just needed to acknowledge it. The only thing that he holds for Zhongli now is hatred.
He hates Zhongli. How could he just come into his life and completely ruin it? How could someone have such an impact on him?
How come he was going through everything while Zhongli remained untouched? How come he had to go through so much while Zhongli still hasn’t gotten karma?
How come it was him and not Zhongli? Why was it always him and not the other way around?
He just wants to feel happiness again. The type of happiness he had before Zhongli came into his life. That’s all he wishes for yet he doesn’t have it yet.
He realized he didn’t love Zhongli anymore. After everything that he had been through due to him, he had finally realized. He realized what type of shitty person Zhongli is and he’s had to not be like him.
He’s moved on from Zhongli just not what he had been through. It’s hard to forget such experiences and he thinks he’ll never be able to move on from them.
They caused him a lot of pain. Scars don’t heal from one day to the other, they take time. He knows that, but he just can’t let this hatred dwindle. It’s a fire in his heart, one that he can’t control.
These scars Zhongli left him will leave its mark. He knows that for a fact, he’ll always remember everything.
He doesn’t know if he should be proud once they heal to resemble that he won the war or be sad because they will never heal and scar.