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It's quiet when he wakes up.
Jing Yuan blinks his eyes open, feeling both refreshed and fatigued at the same time. The only sound he can pick up on is that of breathing. It's not his own. He swivels his head to where his ears tell him the noise is coming from only to find something he didn't expect.
Dan Heng sleeping. Back to the human visage that hides who he truly is. Was. Body curled up on top a wooden chair close by the bed Jing Yuan is lying on.
At the sight of his dear old friend Jing Yuan's heart squeezes in affection. Dan Feng. Dan Heng. The similarities are there. Enough for the old, nearly forgotten feelings to spring up and catch him by surprise. It's been that way ever since he saw that beloved face again. With the man who was once Yingxing also there it almost fell like the old days again. The days his Shifu was still alive. When the High-Cloud Quintet was whole. Not scattered to the stars. Their friendships broken.
Jing Yuan gazes at the man for an unidentifiable time. Eyes ravenous to consume as much of him as they can. Such a rare sight will never occur again. Just that peaceful face feels like it's healing the fractured fissures of Jing Yuan's heart.
After a time, Dan Heng finally rouses from sleep.
"Mhm." Letting out a sleepy groan, he cracks open his eyes, the sea shining through and almost stealing Jing Yuan's breath.
"Good morning." Jing Yuan smiles when Dan Heng's eyes reach him. Impossibly fond and hardly caring if it shows.
"Jing Yuan, you're awake." Dan Heng quickly stands up, coming over to him, looking a little worried. "Are you alright?"
Better now that you're here, he wants to say.
"Yes, how long was my sleep?" Is what he says instead.
"Not that long, it's been only about 3 days. The healers estimated it would take about a week. I'm glad to see you're okay." Dan Heng suddenly smiles. A little upcurl of the lips and yet, still the loveliest thing Jing Yuan has ever seen.
"Oh, no wonder I still feel tired." Jing Yuan hums. He sits up, covers sliding down his chest which is bare save for a few bandages over the injured parts. Touching one with a hand, he sighs. "Didn't think I would need these."
"You were hurt pretty severely. Now it seems most of them have healed." Dan Heng examines his chest with a critical eye. His mere gaze alone makes Jing Yuan feel a frisson of heat travel up his spine.
"I'm surprised you're here." Jing Yuan keeps the conversation going to distract himself. If left alone to his thoughts, he fears the avalanche of emotions that's he's been keeping at bay ever since he opened his eyes will surely drown him. And he is curious as to why Dan Heng was sleeping by his bedside, waiting for him.
Dan Heng tenses for a split second, spine rigid. Relaxing almost immediately after, and making Jing Yuan question if what he saw was a mere illusion, or a hopeful delusion.
"I wanted to make sure you were alright before I left." Dan Heng finally raises his gaze. Lips set in a hard line, seemingly warring with himself about something. He closes his eyes for a moment, breathing out. "I remember what he said the last time he ever saw you."
Jing Yuan's heart skips a beat.
(At the Shackling Prison before they forced Dan Feng to his next rebirth, Jing Yuan had wanted to visit his friend one last time. To say goodbye. To see him again while his friend still recognised him.
The sound of his footsteps was loud even to his own ears. He made sure not to show any of the churning emotions deep within to the guards when they let him in.
There he found the High-Elder of the Vidyadhara, the Imbibitor Lunae. Nearly a shadow of his once glorious self. But when he caught those eyes, fierce and alive, he knew his friend was still there, fighting.
"Jing Yuan, what brings you here?" His voice was hoarse, from not speaking or not drinking enough, Jing Yuan couldn't tell.
"You, of course." Jing Yuan's lips curled up, a facsimile of a smile, trying to lighten the mood, but clearly failing.
"You needn't bother. You and I both know how this ends." At that Dan Feng hung his head, a great resignation sweeping over him. Something he had accepted but not something he was happy about. For the sin he committed, he would bear all the punishments. Didn't mean he would be fond of the goodbye Jing Yuan was here to give him.
"I wish—"
So many things.
If only he had done something. Instead of doing nothing and letting more than one friend down. It was too late now for regrets. And there would come many more of them.
"Don't," Dang Feng interrupted, steely gaze cutting into Jing Yuan's heart. "Don't do that to yourself, Jing Yuan. Promise me you will try to forget."
"Forget what?"
"Me," Dan Feng said, a sad smile on his face. Tears clogged up Jing Yuan's throat at the sight. He didn't shed any then, and he hadn't for a long time after Dan Feng was no more.
"I'm afraid that's not possible." Jing Yuan let out a humourless chuckle, continuing with his heart breaking the more and more the day he would not ever see Dan Feng again in this or any life was approaching. "I could never forget you."
Dan Feng briefly shut his eyes at the words.
"Then you must try. If only because I never was able to give you what you wanted.")
"And I wanted to say I'm sorry," Dan Heng adds after a beat.
"You don't need to apologise, it's in the past." Jing Yuan smiles, a little sad. Dan Heng doesn't need to be shackled by the love Jing Yuan felt for his past self once upon a time.
"It felt like something I had to do." Dan Heng bites his lip, a small, awkward smile gracing his face but no less sweet and charming. Beautiful.
Maybe those feelings have never been actually gone and just needed some kind of push to be let free again. It certainly seems like it when even though Dan Heng isn't Dan Feng, he still ignites the same feelings in Jing Yuan's chest as his past self did so many centuries ago.
Jing Yuan suppresses the urge he has to reach over and cradle that beloved face in his palms, has enough practice of restraining that particular want of his. Instead he sighs wistfully and says, "You're so very much like him."
For once, Dan Heng doesn't immediately correct him with 'I'm not him'. Raises a brow in curiosity.
"You care about others a lot." Jing Yuan's face softens, remembering. "Caring for them at a great personal cost." He turns to Dan Heng then, eyes serious. "Like I said, it's all in the past. I'll be fine."
"Then why do you look at me like that?"
Jing Yuan hums. "Hmm?"
"Like you're looking at your greatest regret," Dan Heng murmurs, eyes half-shut. The reminder of his past never something he wants to dwell on.
"Ah. I'm sorry." Jing Yuan laughs, self-deprecating. "It seems I'm not as good at shutting some things off as I thought."
Dan Heng makes a confused sound at the back of his throat.
"You're right after all. You're not him and it's about time for me to accept that. Apologies, Dan Heng, my age is really catching up to me and making me forget my manners." Jing Yuan slides his legs to the side, bare feet touching the wooden flour soundlessly. He stands up with a hand braced to the nightstand for balance, tremors coursing through his body. He's not all the way healed yet.
"Wait! You're supposed to be resting—" Dan Heng extends a hand, incase it's needed.
"I'm fine." Jing Yuan huffs a breath through his nose, irrated at his tired, aging body. An injury like this at his younger days would've been nothing.
Steadying himself with both feet rooted on the ground, Jing Yuan thrusts an arm out, palm up. "I'm the General of the Xianzhou Luofu, Jing Yuan. It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance." A silly little grin uplifting the corners of his lips.
Dan Heng shuts his eyes, shaking his head. When he opens them again, they look lighter, brighter. Like a weight has been cast off. Placing his own hand on top of Jing Yuan's slightly larger one, he shakes it.
"The Astral Express' Dan Heng. And the pleasure is mine."