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"You love him."
He chokes on his own spit. Coughing, trying to control his breathing. He turns around with a sore throat, finding Kenny near the school backdoors.
Craig gives a middle finger while massaging his throat.
"I said what i said." The boy was sitting down cross-legged on his left. They were on the goths' usual spot. Craig put his phone away.
"What do you want Kenny?" The kid in the orange coat usually approaches them only at lunch and usually to ask clyde to split with him, or Token for money. Sometimes even Jimmy for company. Never him.
"I want nothing, I'm just saying. It's obvious dude." He turns to look at him. He finds himself looking at dark purple eyes. At the pretty kid with no hood on. "You love him."
It was barely above a whisper, almost as if saying it louder would make it known to everybody.
"I don't." His voice perpetually flat gave him justice. He finds himself almost defensive. "I just care about him."
He hears a snort when he notices his gaze has shifted to his hands, he quickly looks back up.
"You should look more into yourself." He gets a flash of a perfect smile. "Maybe you'll actually notice just how much you care."
They went silent for a while, Craig didn't dare pick his phone back up.
"Y'know, being in love is… hard, it's not usually my thing, but suddenly you find yourself that you just… want to be around that person, that you don't mind being sent on an adventure together so you don't make too much of a fuss, that you genuinly care about their well-being, that you get conscious about how you act around them, or maybe, you don't notice, and… and people start to stare at you."
The blond suddenly looked away, with an almost distant look, leaning back to the wall. He really was pretty, his hair was more like a dirty blond and he had freckles, he hates Kenny in that moment. He always hated him. He fucking despised him. His voice is small when he continues.
"And… sometimes it's being in fight and not apologising first because it'll make it seem like you care too much. And you desperately don't want them to know, even if you know it was all your fault."
Seeing the boy so negative wasn't odd, he gets mad often. But seeing his expression was strange, and seeing it so… gloom and devoid of hope actually made his stomach hurl. It made him think of Tweek, and his smile, how if the boy ever gets that sad he'll cheer him up.
"I know you like him, everyone does, you're boyfriends," he chuckles a little at that. "but you actually fell bad for him man. You're almost worst than Red with Heidi."
"Red is gay?" Fuck his cousin is gay and she never told him? He's trustworthy, fuck her.
He gets a look. "Is that what you're focused on?"
"The town forced us into it. If we don't, everyone will start to cry again, we got used to it." A sensation of dread creeps into him.
"You don't get used to looking at someone all the time for the sake of other people." He was being stared at, he feels it. Yet he doesn't look back. The grass seeming a lot more entertaining at the moment. Craig forces his body to relax to not seem strange.
"We're just friends." Something at the back of his head is screaming and trashing around. Something is breaking.
"Then tell me the idea of kissing him means nothing."
His heart skipped a beat, his eyes slightly wider, his eyebrow shot up. Only the people who knew him could've noticed though. Kenny wasn't one of those people. "Nothing." He answers.
"Believe it while you can Fucker, see ya in Peru." and with a two fingered salute, the boy was gone.
Craig went back to his phone, refusing to think of those three words that could shatter his world.
____
"You love him."
It was Token. He was whisper-screaming.
"Everyone knows it, Craig. Stop making this so much difficult for yourself! Just, accept it." But there was nothing to accept.
"I don't know what you're talking about." He said like a liar, squeezing his arm around his asleep girlfriend.
"You, fucking, liar. You know exactly what I'm talking about and you know this isn't right." The other boy's face was hard. His eyebrows scrunched, with a deep frown on his face.
Craig refrained from talking, simply pulling the girl closer, looking down at her blonde hair. He really liked her hair, it had an odd texture, but he liked the color.
"I know you don't like this, but it's so obvious dude. It won't change anything other than Jimmy making some more puns about it. Just accept it."
Yet again, there was nothing to accept. The hole in his guts was making itself aware. The emptiness he felt did not go away with the closeness of the girl, he pulled her closer.
"There's nothing to accept." He hadn't noticed. But Token had. The black boy noticed the wobble in his voice, he noticed where his gaze laid, on who. He noticed the stiffness in his body. He simply noticed.
"I know you're despising me right now and want to flip me off while you can't, but I also know that you know I'm right." A small smirk appeared on his sharp face trying to lighten the mood. The boy in the chullo glared at him.
He somehow managed to let one hand free from it's entanglement with the girl's body. And gave him his signature move, a middle finger. The heavy atmosphere settled, the boy knew Craig was thinking about his words, three in particular.
"Then tell me about you and Tweek, what do you feel towards him?" His expression remained blank, but all his movement ceased. A few moments passed. Token was sure he wasn't he getting any response, he sighed.
"You don't want to be with her." The boy pointed out in a statement, making his friend look at the girl in his arms.
"No. I don't." Was said softly, lower than the other whispers, if it was an observation. Something that he knew but pointed out just now, an admission.
The only sound was the shuffle of the others in their bean-bags reminding the two of the presence of everybody else in the room.
"Just… don't fuck this up Craig. I'll let you play with my GameStation if you tell her in the morning, deal?" His eyes flashed up to him. Their green iris seemed brighter than before.
"Deal."
…
"Oh and Craig?"
…
"Yeah."
…
"If you ever take another random girl to my house, I'll kick you out into the dumps."
…
"Fair."
____
"You love him."
It was Stan.
"The most emotionless asshole of the school loves someone, and he won't even admit it. Didn't think you were that much of a loser Craig." The park was empty besides the two of them. Not even children around.
Craig kept his face to his phone, the light reflecting off his irises, but the smoke of the cigarette reached his face.
"Dude that thing kills you."
The boy in the red and blue hat scoffed. "Don't try and change the subject." He subtly hoped the other wouldn't notice, thinking he was more stupid than he gave him credit for.
"But the smoke is blowing in my face."
He groaned taking the end of it making the fire cease and putting it in his jacket pocket. "Now tell me why the hell Tweek is hanging out with us again, what did you do to him?" He started swinging. Making the whole structure rock around. "Even when you got a fucking girlfriend he stayed in your group."
The memory of two weeks ago re-emerged heavy on his mind making him cringe. "I didn't do anything to him, ever thought he is simply a nice guy and wanted to be friends with you again? No matter how much you guys suck?"
He stopped swinging and looked him in the eyes. "Dude, he may have liked holding a bazooka but he didn't forgive us, he stayed far away from us ever since. He hated being our fourth friend and now you're telling me he wants to do it again, just because he can? I liked him, but he hates us. He boxes with my uncle and never once did he express wanting to be my friend again."
The thing is, he was right. Tweek would never be part of their group again, he was nice and cared, but he also wanted to pour hot coffee on all of them, Not Kenny, he thought Kenny was nice. Craig fucking despises Kenny.
"I thought you were supposed to be his boyfriend," That made his breath hitch. A year passed since the town decided they had to be together. "to know him, no matter how fake that shit was. You grew into it." His voice softened. "And into him."
"I didn't."
"Don't lie man, that's lame."
…
The silence stretched. Those three words seemed to hunt him.
"Just… you're a dick with everyone but him, he doesn't know how much of an asshole you are, so... don't-" A breath was taken, Craig is unsure if is from the lack of breath from smoking or from the shaking of his voice leaving Stan with no air. Maybe both. "don't let him notice ok? you don't want him gone for good."
…
The swing suddenly moved, he looked up to see Stan on his feet.
"If you have nothing you want to say then there's no reason for me to be here." He walked away making the asphalt crunch under his shoes. Before he stopped and turned back. "Apologize to Tweek, he's cool, don't make him spaz out." His footsteps went away, until he couldn't hear them anymore.
Stan was his enemy, the leader of the enemy gang, or that's what everyone dubbed him. Yet here he was trying to help him. Craig didn't know if he wanted to punch something or just be with Tweek to take his mind off those words.
Despite his pride he knew that the next morning he would be waiting in front of a yellow house apologizing.
___
"You love him…"
It was Clyde. He would've expected a scream from him.
"You do love him- And- and I'm so, so proud of you Craig. I saw that look you gave him, and I knew you loved him but you're being so sweet with him and I'm so proud of you right now I might actually cry." He was in fact crying. Teardrops fell, wetting his hands.
He sighed. "It's fine buddy." He went closer patting his back. His friend was always oversensitive.
"I know it's- it's fine, it's just that I'm so happy for you craig. Tweek really made you better." He sniffs a little. "Sometimes i was jealous cause you'd be more with him than us but- but then I'd see how you look at him, and how he looks at you, and despite that you're gay, it's the same way I look at Bebe. So- so i just-" And he burst out crying.
Babbling while trying to form coherent sentences isn't something Clyde's able to do.
But Craig didn't know what to say at the moment, so he simply pulled out a packet of tissues and handed it to his friend.
After some time of staying there patting the other back, he calmed down.
"Despite that- that you look at each other that way I've never seen you kiss, so if you want my help with that step you can always count on me bro! I'm the master at kissing." He got given a grin in true Clyde fashion.
"Thanks dude but i don't need the help." And he didn't. They didn't kiss, they were simply close friends caught in a fake relationship.
"Ohh, i see how it is, you two do it in private. I get it, I get it." He got given two finger guns pointed at him. "Maybe at the next sleepover we can make sure you two are alone so you can get some action going, mmhhh?"
Ok that was kinda pushing it, It would make everything awkward and they would just talk anyway. "Really Clyde, it's fine."
"I know you two are already dating but if i can help in any way, like that time you got yourself a girl, just tell me and I'll be the best wingman ever bro." Despite being in the snow with so much wind Clyde smiled at him. He didn't smile back.
"So, when was the first time you two… y'know…"
"Clyde, eat shit." He got up and took his bag from the table. His friend frantically put everything away to follow him.
"Dude, I was just asking a question! But I get it, it can get embarrassing…" They crossed the street. "So which one confessed first?"
He groaned.
"It was Tweek wasn't it? You're too much of a pussy. I bet he kinda blurted it out and then rolled out the scene screaming."
He stopped.
"Clyde, just go home." And maybe it was the finality of his tone, or maybe his sunken expression, or maybe the hopelessness around him. But his friend looked at him in concern.
"Hey… sorry, is… is something happening between you two, i can help with-"
"Nothing is happening, and that's the point. Everyone keeps telling me that i lo-" He freezed for a second at the word that was about to come out him mouth. Eyes widening at the prospect." that i like him, but i don't. I'm not…" in love with him Those words were at the tip of his tongue. I'm not in love with him. But nothing came out. I'm not even able to say it. Fuck.
"And nothing between us two is happening." He wiped his eyes in the hope nothing came out anyway.
"See you at school Clyde."
___
"You love him."
It was Laura. Laura Tucker, his mom.
It startled the boy just for a moment.
"I see how you look at him, what you do for him. The way you're happier ever since he came into your life."
The bed made a creak as his mother sat onto the end of it. "You're too little for these emotions, and yet look at you. Having a soft spot for your little toy-boy."
He kept looking at the white wall.
"I know it's difficult, but everything is, so you gotta suck it up and face it. Tweek is a sweet kid and I'm glad you fell for him, i wouldn't trust my boy with anyone else. He's jittery but he's stubborn and kind when he needs to be. Am i right Craig?"
…
"Yeah… he's really cool." He turned around. Looking at his ceiling full of glow-in-the-dark stars. Avoiding the piercing gaze of his mother.
"I bet he is. So you must take care of him too, ok Craig? Don't hurt him, he doesn't deserve it."
…
"He'd send me to the hospital again if I tried." His mom chuckled softly at his joke. Craig is not sure if it would happen or not.
"You care a lot about him. It may not be love love, but it's visible how much you care so show him. Any way you want to say it or show it, I'm sure he'll appreciate it." He finally snapped his eyes towards her.
She had a faint smile on her lips, her eyes are soft while looking over him. It was unusual for any of the Tuckers to be like this, but they all have soft side, must be a family thing.
He couldn't even deny those words anymore. There's no reason to linger more on this.
"Night mom."
___
"You love him."
It was Tricia, or Ruby as everyone calls her. His sister.
She was looking at him from the kitchen island sipping ace juice.
"Yeah."
He could hear splattering. Craig stopped his videogame and looked over. She was standing hunched over looking at him with wide eyes. Her shirt was soaked in apple juice.
"I'm not helping you clean that up." He turned around and resumed the game. Joystick still in hand.
It was almost a minute before his sister came in the room. "Holy fucking shit you fucking admitted it."
"Don't use that language or mom's gonna have my ass." Said almost automatically.
"You fucking love him holy shit I'm gonna be an aunt…" It was said with awe in every word. Now that made him hesitate for a second. He clicked the button to pause while turning to look at her, almost choking. She had a smile stretched on her face.
"That's not how it works and no, so shut the fuck up."
Now it was a staring contest between two siblings.
A minute in she made a declaration.
"I'm sure I'm gonna be an aunt and I'm gonna be the best fucking aunt ever. Update me when you two have sex." With a solid nod she went upstairs. Leaving an horrified and red Craig behind.
He looked at the joystick in his hand for a moment. Just contemplating the world for a second.
"Fuck i hate her."
___
"You..."
"You love him."
It was Craig. Craig Tucker looking at himself in his bedroom mirror, finally admitting it. Those three words everyone kept telling him that were true, that he kept denying, slowly noticing the truth in them.
"I love him."
He fucking loved Tweek. Like. A lot.
He's not sure if there was a catalyst that made him act on those three words, if it was what everyone told him, or all those little moments with his boyfriend in the past months.
Maybe it began when he was troubled and Tweek read him perfectly.
"Who do you wanna punch?" The school was chilly, outside was even more.
"Kenny." He heard slurping, his mind instantly telling him it was coffee. He was sure it was. He looked on the other side of starks pond, there were Wendy and Stan huddled in the only bench around there. Stan is so trying to deny his love for Kyle. He's so stupid.
"What did he do?" He looked at the pretty boy across him. Tweek wasn't jerking or shaking. Maybe shivering a little from the cold. He frowned.
He started looking in his backpack and when he found what he was looking for with an extended hand there was an offer. "Take it, you're cold."
When the boy looked at him it made his heart flutter, he smiled. "Thanks man, I'll be sure to- to give it back to you. It was starting to get a little cold." He doesn't know how any girl could try and miss a chance to date the boy in front of him. He's sweet and kind and everything he's not, they keep asking him instead, so he refers to himself as lucky that no one has stolen his friend away from him with dates.
He later learned the boy wasn't cold, he just wanted to be nice and accept the offer.
"So what did he do?" When he focused again the boy was in a blue coat, much like the one he was wearing now. It made his stomach flutter, his face is surely red, from the cold. Yeah. Cold.
"He's being himself." And that brought out a small smirk. A victory so.
"C'mon dude, he's very nice, don't be a little bitch just cause he tried to flirt with you. He would've been crazy not to try it with a chance of n.one Cutest Boy In Class." It was clearly a bait. Since the real list aired everyone always came up to him. Even in other classes he was the Cutest Boy. It was cool. But he didn't care when other people called him that. Yet right now he was exploding.
He couldn't even respond since his breath was stolen.
He took a flat stone and made it skip on the lake. It was satisfying. After that they spent some minutes in silence. He couldn't think. He's not sure if it was bothering him or not.
He heard shuffles around. As he was about to say goodbye to his friend he got a snowball to the face. "C'mon stop moping around! Or are you gonna pull a Stan and become emo too??"
He could see that expression with a smirk. He couldn't help but mirror it himself. Showing his crooked teeth. "If its war you want, it's war you're gonna have."
Or maybe it was at the sleepover, or after.
"I'm sorry it didn't work out. But I'm- I'm sure you'll find someone else." Tweek eyes were sad as if he was the one going through a break-up, Craig honestly didn't give a shit about that girl, he was so uncomfortable every time she tried to press herself against him.
He wanted to say that his someone was right in front of him. But that would've been gay. And he's not gay. Token's words echoed in his mind alongside Kenny's. He's not gay, and he can't say that without seeming gay. So he'll just shut up.
"C'mon. I'm- I'm gonna buy you something so that you're not gonna be able to be sad." They told the others they were going out and would come back later. Right after they crossed the road, and after Tweek calmed down cause he could've been killed. He asked what about that girl Craig liked.
"She's- blond. She's blond."
He kinda panicked. He doesn't know why he panicked. It feels illegal to say that's what he liked about her even if it was true. It felt wrong.
"Ok… maybe I'll be able to hook you up with Bebe, I'm sure… yeah I'm- Clyde won't care." The boy kept mumbling some things to himself. Until he stopped and Craig bumped into him.
"Hey Tweek look where you-"
"C'MON HURRY UP! I'LL BUY YOU WHAT YOU WANT. THEY STARTED PAYING ME!" He was already running towards the stores. Craig catched up easily, they were pretty much the same height.
When he looked up he saw photo dojo. His eyes blew wide. He looked at his friend to make sure this was the right place. "Tweek you know everything here costs a lot, I don't need it, and ice-cream would be enough." Being with you is enough- But he was already being pushed into the store.
"Choose what do you want and don't mind the money! I have enough for- ngg- for everything!" And as much as he wanted to keep telling him it didn't matter, the fact that he wanted to buy him something so much made his heart flutter, he searched for a bunch or recharges for his photocamera. He didn't get any in a while.
Then he went up to the blond. "If it's too much don't worry i can-"
"Nope! Give me it!" He got them snatched from his hand. When he started strolling to the counter his twitches started to surface, but his confidence didn't waver.
"How much- eek- how much is it?" With a shoulder-jerk he put them on the table.
"Thirty dollars." His eyes widened for a second and Craig was about to tell the cashier he'll put them back where he found them when Tweek pulled out a fifty dollar card. And put it on the table.
He got the change without any need to converse again. When they got out the store the blonde turned to him and extended his hands. "Now if you want to be sad you'll owe me thirty dollars and everyday that passes with you sad, you'll owe me a dollar more." He took the films with a whispered thanks.
"That's not fair, you'll be rich."
Wind makes the flaps of his hat go to his face. They were making their way back to Token's. Halfway he heard a whisper that made his insides twist.
"I'd prefer to see you happy though…"
He felt warm despite the cold of the winter. He wonders if it's faults of the aliens or the gnomes Tweek always talks about.
Or if it was when they reconciled. When Craig told him he fucked up and he got forgiven so easily that it hurt.
"What- Nggg- are you doing here- Craig?"
Tweek looked like shit, he was shivering and had his thermos already up to his lips.
"I- uhh…" He was fidgeting with the flaps of his hat, he knows Tweek is able to read him. And thanks to that he starts walking towards the school with a sigh.
"Just- talk when you're- ack- when you're able to." Craig nodded despite the other not being able to see him. Being the one following and not leading. He could've thought about his words but was too entranced watching the back of the blonde's head.
He stayed in trance for a while just noticing things. Re-reading all the pins in the boy's backpack. Fighting the urge to hug him. It was odd.
That was until the boy lost his patience. After his Twitch began to be jerks.
"Nggg- do i have to betheoneto start?" He stopped in his tracks. His shoulders tensed.
"No no hon- Tweek. I fucked up. And- And i don't know but it was- fucked. And now everything has gone to shit and- and i don't even know why i did that. I dont- fuck. I'm sorry. " He was looking at the ground, not daring to see the reaction of his shitty apology. Not wanting this to be the last moment he sees Tweek face in his life. He couldn't bear to lose him. But he was probably going to leave now because this time he fucked up. He told him horrible shit just cause he was mad. He won't want anything to do with him. And they won't go to school together anymore, they won't be in Craig's living-room just talking about shit. There won't be any more sleepovers and no more holding hands.
There won't be any more silly fights to decide if Satan should be in charge or not. There won't be anymore Tweek giving him the food he likes cause he's picky. There won't be any more calming Tweek down when something happens. All of that will never happen again. All cause he fucked up. God he was such a bad boyfriend. The town should've chosen someone else, maybe Token would be better than him at this, Jimmy, Kenny. He's just fucking up. And everything is never going to fucking happen again and maybe Tweek will realize he's straight from this and-
He feels two arms around him. "I'm... sorry too… I shouldn't have ran away." It was merely above a whisper, if there was wind it could've stolen the words easily.
The boy pulled back, leaving his body warm from the touch. Rough hand touched his face.
"Never thought I'd see the 'stoic asshole Craig Tucker' cry." His eyes looked up and his hand went to touch his face. It was cold. Wet. He didn't even realize it. What even was the last time that happened? Tweek had a lil smile on his face, yet his eyes had a strange feeling going through them. One he could not recognize.
He got pulled in a second hug. "I'm sorry Craig. I don't want you to cry." It felt suffocating. Nice. But overwhelming.
Tears kept pooling from his eyes. Silent ones. He grabbed the other boy just with the same force. Clutching him for dear life. "I'm so- so sorry- i didn't-" Sobs started interrupting him. It was annoying. It was painful.
"It's ok. Let it out." It wasn't something like him. Shame. That's the only thing he felt. But he couldn't stop crying. The tears and the sobs kept coming, he couldn't breath. The more he kept going the louder they became. He buried himself in a Tweeks shirt. Not daring to put his head up.
He was supposed to be the one calming Tweek down. Not like this. It was wrong. It's not like him. This isn't him. He's not the one shaking it can't be him.
"I'm sorry…"
They didn't reach school that morning.
Or maybe it was when they went to Clyde's house.
"This pizza is mine now! You others can choose between the remaining ones."
He snickered "No wonders they called you a fatass that time." The boy had already eaten two slices and he was now claiming a whole ass pizza.
He turned to tell Tweek about the time Clyde ate three stuffed burgers in two hours.
Yet he found no one. So he looked around for that mop of blonde hair, yet found nothing.
"Where did Tweek go?"
Everyone stopped for a second until Token broke the silence. "Oh i think i saw him go to the bathroom." He nodded feeling uneasy. The blond would usually announce where he was going, in case someone tried to kidnap him.
Tweek seemed a bit tense too when he came into the house. He shoved it off, thinking that maybe something at home happened. But this is simply not like him. The uneasy feeling in his gut redirects his attention.
He placed his slice on his plate and interrupted whatever conversation was going on. "I'm gonna go check on him."
He went easily through Clyde's house. From being here more than not and from the fact that every house had the same layout could've helped probably. He slightly looked at every picture that passed by. They were mostly of him and his father, Clyde's mom has two photos in the house. In the family picture and in mr. Donovans room.
He slightly knocked on the bathroom door. He heard an "Ack" in response.
"You ok Tweek?"
"Nngg- Yeah! All- all fine man!" His voice was shaking and cracking more than usual and it's already a lot. He wasn't fooling anyone, both of them knew it.
"You sure dude? If you tell me the problem I can try and help."
"I'msure! You can- ACK! You can go back to the- uhh, to the others- I'll come in a second!" Every word felt forced. Obliged to come out and be heard but it was almost as if the singer of those lyrics didn't want the world to hear them.
He felt the shake in these words, the panic. By now enough time has passed that he recognises it. Only thanks to many attempts and errors and fuck ups though.
"Then you won't mind if i sit out here waiting right? My social battery is dead anyway, I have to stay a moment away from the others." He actually doesn't have a social battery, he can stay days with people if he wants to, it's just that he doesn't, cause they are more annoying than not. And Tweek knows it.
"Uhh, yeah- ok. Yeah."
He heard the bathroom sink flow more than once in the time he was on the ground leaning on the wall. He thought about his friends having fun downstairs, how they don't know Tweek friend that well. He just recently started to hang out with them and when all the efforts the others tried make to connect with boy failed they just started to sometime make small talk. Craig is still their only link.
He wonders how it would be like if they all were actually friends, it'd be pretty cool he thinks. He rethinks those words that were said to him countless of times. Those three words. He isn't acting as if they were wrong tho- no. He already made that mistake. He won't do it again. A pit of uneasiness grew in his stomach. He won't make the same mistake again.
Slowly he heard the lock on the door unscrew and then the door clinking open. And there he was. A blond boy with dark aqua-marine eyes looking into a mix of green and brown ones.
Tweek told him he liked his eyes, that they were unique. He often found himself lingering on his own eyes more when put in front of a mirror.
"Do you want to go back down?"
He visibly tensed when the question finished. "Y- nnggh- yeah lets go."
Then he got up and followed the boy to the stairs. The house was silent otherwise for some murmurs along the way.
He still doesn't know what's bothering the other but maybe he can try and make it better.
"Hey, you don't have to stay here if you don't want to, I appreciate that you tried." He whispered into the other's ear when they entered the room.
He switched his tone of voice immediately when referring to his other friend. "What game are we playing Clyde?"
The brunette in question looked up and eyed him for a second. "Kevin told us about this super cool game about the star wars spinoff so we-" He looked down at what he was doing, eyes widening. "Fuck guys this game is only for four players. Shit, i didn't even think about it we're gonna have to make turns and decide-"
"I can watch." His voice was the most decisive it's been all day which slightly confused Craig too.
"No really Tweek you don't have to we-"
With two placating hands stretched in front of him he made the decision. "It's- nghh- fine Clyde, playing games it's way too stressful anyway."
He narrowed his eyes a little. It was the truth but he is feeling very sus, they did play among us together, Tweek always won.
"Hey Clyde I'm not playing too, I'm kinda tired." Craig said, trying to find traces of the truth on Tweeks face. Yet he found nothing. Clyde answered him but he didn't pay it any mind. Fuck his autism, he wanted to be able to analyse people.
They both sat an inch of distance on the extra pouf of the living room. They watched for a while the others falling in mario kart deluxe. It was nice. But he could still notice that Tweek was tense.
"Hey if there's something wrong we can go to my house, just tell me." Ok look, he was very concerned. The boy is never quiet with his problems and now he's still shaking cause he goes to the extent of lying about his problems.
"Yeah Craig, don't worry about it."
But he couldn't do that. Despite how much he tried to get his mind off the other boy he couldn't.
He put an arm around him and hugged him. Sometimes throughout the night sending him worried glances. And yet being dismissed.
The only thing he could do was being a physical support. Which he kept being one all night long. Even when asleep.
Or maybe it was when they were watching his favorite series.
"C'mon Tweek! I was able to get the couch for us today!" He said opening the door for the blond boy to slip in.
Already going for under the covers he set on the sofa. "Close the door and come here dude, I'm sooo excited." He was the one vibrating in place this time around. Red racer and with Tweek. They already saw it one time at the hospital but that didn't count cause they hated each other.
When the other got situated right under the covers he didn't esitate for a second to push the button to make it start. He has all the episodes on video tapes. Even if his father wanted to destroy them all, mom was able to stop him from doing so. He often found himself over-explaining certain bits so that Tweek could know everything. The boy nodded every time he looked over, so he kept going.
He felt happy. Very happy. Maybe he should go and get Stripe, his happiness might break the house then.
He kept watching the tv without a care in the world and with a smirk on his face.
He doesn't know how it happened or when it happened but he ended up watching Tweek instead of his favorite series. He thought the excitement was from watching your favorite thing with your favorite person. But maybe it's simply being with that person.
His face was rough and detailed. His skin wasn't curated in the slightest. He has a downsided nose and really pretty eyes, that were made stand out more by his eyebags.
He's really pretty in general despite his flaws. Craig isn't sure how He's able to pull that off. He wants to touch his face and compare. Yet he doesn't move an inch. Knowing a single movement could shatter all the peacefulness that surrounds them. He doesn't want to stop being happy.
He turned his head around and went back to watching the show. This time with more bittersweet energy. He wants to keep being happy and yet he can't. Cause only Tweek can make him feel that. But that would make him gay. Thing he is not.
Slowly his mind relaxed. His body followed suit and he stopped listening to the words that came out the tv. He was comfortable. Everything was nice. He only slightly got more away when he got pulled towards something cold. It made a chill run down his spine before he felt himself lean towards it.
His eyes felt sticky when trying to open them. But it was fine because he didn't want to.
Or maybe it's now.
A knock from the door shook him awake. His anxiety crawling in his stomach for the first time in forever.
"Hey Craig! Why did you need me over?"
"Oh- uh hi Tweek." Craig was playing his tumbs and- fuck Tweek already noticed. He was looking at him oddly. Shit fuck.
"Are you… ok? Is everything ok Craig?"
He took a big breath before looking up. "Yeah honey everything is fine." using the nickname was actually painful for him now that he knows the truth in everything.
He patted the bed to indicate the other to sit. He quickly got the memo and a new weight was quickly besides him, putting weight on the mattress.
"Is everything ok? Do i have to do something? Do you need help? Oh god, Is it myfault? Do i-"
"No!" The questions were blurted faster than he was able to comprehend. But god no. "I'm fine, everything is fine Tweek."
…
"Everything is fine… except it's not." Ok right. He should've waited. He knows his friend- crush? is impatient. Oh god
The other chest is already rising faster, fuck he's making Tweek panic. Ok. That's not good. Ok. Yeah. That's bad.
"Oh jesus! Is it the government again?! Ohgod- nngghh- Does… Doesthenewpresident have twitter too?! Oh jesus christ, we have to do another musical, oh god- we should recruit someone maybe then we can fix it? Okok maybe we havetocallhim? No- no. It won't work- uurrgg- what can we-"
"I- I love you Tweek."
"I KNOW CRAIG BUT WHAT DID YOU- wait what."
When Tweek looked over from his panicking he found Craig looking at the ground. His shoulders were tense and his face was scrunched up. He'd never seen Craig like this. He looked actually agitated for once.
But that wasn't what he focused on. He used the L word, the forbidden word that everyone knows means something special. And he used it for Tweek? He couldn't help the smile growing on his face. This is better than a bomb attack from Russia.
Yet he couldn't help but think about a year ago. "Guess you lied then, cause that was pretty fucking gay, man." And the expression of panic calming down was hilarious but it still coated in anxiety.
Tweek lit up at a thought. "Wait! Now I can do this!" He leapt for Craig, making the boy fall back on the bed while hugging him and giving him a kiss on the cheek.
When he pulled back Craig was a red mess with wide eyes. Tweek could feel his grin widen even more if that was possible. "Guess I'll have to buy you a ring pop to make this official huh."
Maybe he can get him a yellow one. It'd match his puffball. Or maybe green for his eyes? But he likes blue. But he's always blue… he'll have to consult the predictions of the asians.
"W-wait just like that?" Looking into incredulous Green eyes he shrugged.
"I mean… unless you wanna takeitback then I-" The ground was starting to feel a lot more comfortable to look at right in that moment.
"No." Ground can go fuck itself. Tweek looked back at Craig, who was now back at his neutral expression. "I'm good. But do we both have to buy ring pops? Usually is the guy doing it and I'm obviously the most guy out of-"
What the poor naive boy in the chullo did not expect was a surprise attack of tickling. And he, being very vulnerable to it, was now dying.
"FUCK TWEEK NO- I WAS KIDDING- PLEASE-" His dorky laugh filled the silence in the room making it chaos. "Fucking-" Maybe he should stop. "stop-" But it was funny.
It'll probably be Craig who buys the ring pop, but who gives a shit?