Chapter Text
There’s always been a constant in Ian’s life - Anthony not being one of them.
He always considered their friendship to be the textbook definition of “opposites attract”; though many argued the two were so similar that they were almost like twins separated at birth that eventually found each other. Best friends. Brothers. Soulmates . For a while, that’s how he’d describe it as well. They were practically joined to the hip. If one of them wasn’t with the other, without a doubt people would ask something like Oh where’s your little friend Haha you guys are finally separate from each other Haha what a surprise. They started betting money on which of those lines they’d hear that day.
The more they grew up, the more they matured into the people they’d become in the future, the more differences Ian had noticed.
First (and the most obvious choice), personality. He played up the goofy persona - a caricature of himself - for the camera, but once the video was over and they called cut, it was like he was a whole new person. Stoic, reserved. The calm after the storm.
Meanwhile, Anthony was like thunder . Roaring, bursting with energy. He expressed freely, wearing his emotions (and heart) on his sleeve. Ian’s heart still aches when he remembers the moment Anthony went through his first major break up, how he cried into Ian’s shoulder and how Ian tensed in anger as he patted Anthony’s back, trying his best to comfort his friend.
He cursed the girl under his breath, not being able to comprehend how someone could do that to Anthony of all people. He knew the man wasn’t a fragile doll, but something about the way she seemed to carelessly mess with his heart made his blood boil.
Other than emotional availability - they were also polar aspects creative wise. Ian always had so many ideas on hand, it was nearly pouring out of him. He filled up countless school notebooks with chicken-scratch writings upon writings of concepts for lip syncs and sketches. Counting the clock so he could get home and show them to Anthony.
It was always Anthony who made their videos what they were. While Ian had thought of many of their video ideas, it was always Anthony who perfected them. They would spend hours brainstorming in Anthony’s tiny house in Sacramento, bouncing off the energy and jokes each other had. Those memories were filled with a warm glow in Ian’s brain - the images he recollected were nearly picture perfect. Even though they were becoming slightly less crisp as the years went by.
That is all to say, they were two sides of the same coin. The light and the dark. The sun and moon. Despite differences, both connected by that red string of fate.
Another difference he noticed - appearance. A point of note that still made him uneasy.
Ian was never a fan of the way people would compare them. He still remembers how he was considered the “loveable” one of the two. Meanwhile, Anthony “the heartthrob”. He still remembers thousands of comments that endlessly made fun of his appearance in comparison. The internet was not a nice place, he had known that already. Different when you’re the target.
It’s true though, they looked nothing alike. Anthony, at the time, was without a doubt an internet it-boy. Tall, dark black hair that covered the majority of his features, and of course the emo style he rocked for a few good years. Meanwhile, Ian - short, brown hair that swept across his face, and not exactly the best dressed. Not until he got that chain did he start shopping with style in mind.
While he had been one of the internet’s punching bags, he always had someone to combat those comments. Someone who, when they noticed his body language drop, reassured him instantly. At the drop of a hat. At an interview, Anthony jokingly asked the interviewer why Ian wasn’t considered the heartthrob. He decided to ignore at that moment the way his heart fluttered at the comment. It wasn’t important.
Until it became important.
It was 2014, a YouTube party was just beginning to wrap up. Alcohol was served. Ian can’t remember for the life of him the time he finally decided to stumble out of the building. All he remembers was the pitch black outside, stars scattered through the sky. He also remembers the feeling of someone’s hand reaching up to rub his shoulder. He must have gone pale (or screamed) as the person laughed as they led him to their car. Oh right. It was Anthony he went with. Presumably as drunk as Ian was, a noticeable red flush spread across the other man's face.
His memory was and still is splotchy of that night - in the car, he recalls himself fighting to keep his eyes open as his body leaned on the window of the passengers side. Staring off at the night sky, and the empty grassland they passed on the way home. Anthony took small glances at Ian as they drove on the freeway. Probably making sure he didn’t suddenly puke in the car. He began lightly drifting off to sleep as they approached the familiar silhouette of Ian’s house. The car beeped as Anthony parked in the driveway.
Turning to face Ian, Anthony now was fully staring at him. He tried to make himself tell Anthony he was going to get out of his car soon - we’re not roommates anymore i can’t just stay here in his car he has to get back home - but the words wouldn't form. Feeling like sandpaper in his mouth. Instead, there he sat, paralyzed as the warmth of sleep spread through him.
“Ssorry.” All he could mutter out.
Anthony didn’t seem to mind too much. “It’s okay.”
Anthony grinned, endeared. His eyes glazed over (courtesy of the alcohol), still fixed on Ian. Ian smiled back.
Silence overtook their space, as the hum of crickets and buzz of street lamps softly echoed in the background.
Sleep was close to fully enveloping him when Anthony leaned over, turning his whole body to now face Ian.
The last thing he remembers was Anthony sighing. For the longest time, he thought he imagined the last part of the memory. A dream, from the imagination of his drunken stupor.
“Do you know how beautiful you are?”
When he awoke, head pounding and covered in sweat, he found himself lying on his couch. A blanket having been placed on his body. No sign of Anthony in sight. Next day at the office, Anthony didn’t mention that drive since it occurred. That night slowly becoming a distant memory.