Work Text:
The iPhone video starts with its camera pointing towards the dirty streets of New York City, slowly panning up to meet a couple walking hand in hand. The host of Meet Cutes NYC quickly makes himself known with a noncommittal introduction of, "Excuse me?"
The two men being filmed stop their stroll and turn to the host; one dons a kilowatt smile adorned by a mustache, the other hides a look of discomfort behind wire-frame glasses and terrific hair. The host continues his request, asking his subjects, "Are you two a couple?"
"Yes sir, we are! Thank you for askin'!" Mustache replies, lifting his and his partner's intertwined hands as he bends his knees. He looks impossibly giddy despite such a spontaneous interview. Glasses ducks his head, offers the sidewalk his reddened cheeks, and pops back up in a matter of seconds, ready to question the host.
"Why?" Glasses wonders with a chuckle.
The host explains, "We go all over New York and ask couples how they meet; it's called Meet Cutes NYC. Would you mind telling us the story of how you first met?"
"Oh, ho, ho, this is good!" Mustache laughs, his left hand migrating from his side to his partner's shoulders, his right pointer finger wagging at the camera. Glasses rolls his eyes kindly and mimics his partner's actions, resting his right arm around the others' hip.
"We first met at a press conference regarding a coachin' gig I had taken up across the pond, in England. He was the first reporter I called on, and, y'know, what with Brits and their passion for all things soccer-"
"Football."
"-he," Mustache gestures to Glasses, "and many others, were a bit miffed to have an American manage their local team."
"I would say a little more than 'miffed'," Glasses smirks, pinching his thumb and forefinger together. The two men huff in amusement, making it clear that despite this rocky beginning, their story's end would be wrapped with joy (if their affection wasn't already enough of a tell).
"And for good reason!" Mustache returns, "I woulda been skeptical of me, too!"
Glasses shrugs, not sure his initial aggression was warranted. Mustache seems to fly past this insecurity, he himself secure in the knowledge that when something is healthily loved, it is defended with vigor.
"Anyway, I called on him, and he stands up all suave and starts summarizing my career, makin' sure to point out that I had never coached professional football, never mind English football," Mustache continues. By this point, Glasses's head is cradled by his free hand- the hand not caressing his partner's flank.
"So, he's still standin' up in front of everyone there, and just asks the whole country of England, via cameras and microphones, if my being there was 'a fucking joke'," Mustache finishes, tickled pink by his anecdote. A groan is heard from behind Glasses's fingers, and in reply Mustache attempts to comfort him with a squeeze to the shoulder.
"From then on I was entranced, I'll tell ya," Mustache reminisces. He looks off into the distance in a way not too dissimilar from that of a content cartoon character.
Glasses looks baffled.
"Surely not!" he exclaims, facing his partner.
"Sure enough, Hillary Duff! You spoke confidently and had good hair, all defamation aside," Mustache jokes and addresses the camera, "I'm a sucker for a man with a beautiful mane."
Suddenly, the host continues his interview, as he is wont to do, and asks Glasses, "And what was your first impression of him?"
"Oh, I thought he was an absolute bellend," Glasses says way too fast, startling a laugh out of the group.
"What changed?" questions the host.
With that, Glasses pauses, searching himself for an answer. He sobers and eventually replies, "This man has the unparalleled ability to see through people. The result of using such a skill differs in effect from person to person, but for me, my walls fell embarrassingly quick.
"I was a hardened journalist for about twenty-five years before he showed up in Richmond. I had a reputation of being aloof and snarky; always asking the hard-hitting questions, ruining lives with them. And for an extremely self-conscious man, closeted and in a loveless marriage, that shield of confidence really built me my career.
"It wasn't until I was requested to do an exposé on this... ditsy American who knew nothing of football culture that I allowed myself to appreciate his efforts as a mentor, regardless of his knowledge of sports rule. He was recklessly kind, tolerant of abuse from all walks of life in Richmond," Glasses pauses, body visibly more open now than at the start of the interview. His eyes are wide, and emotion bleeds from his hands as he gestures through his speech, actual glasses now resting in his palm.
"I think that seeing his strength amidst such strife opened my eyes to his mission as a coach: to improve the lives of those he touches. He once told me that his job at AFC Richmond was never about how many wins he could curate, and I thought him silly until he changed my life.
"I used to pride myself in my ability to repel people, but in that an ache grew in me to be a part of something- an ache he immediately clocked and worked to soothe," Glasses concludes.
His partner looks at him with furrowed brows and a close-mouthed smile. A collection of tears on his under-eyes would be revealed if he removed his Ray-Bans.
"That was beautiful," the host comments, and Mustache audibly agrees, sniffing slightly. Glasses humbly nods.
"And how long have you two been together?"
"We've known each other for four years, together for about one."
"A year in, what is your favorite thing about him?" the hosts asks Mustache.
"He's very articulate," Mustaches says, "I mean, you heard him mere seconds ago waxing poetic about lil' ole me! I ain't ever heard someone string together such beautiful words on a dime like he does. Even better, he acts on his promises; he loves as strongly as his speech conveys, y'know? He provides a safety I've learned I've deserved for a long time. It really is somethin'."
The host turns to Glasses, "And how about you?"
"Like I said before, his kindness. He really has a gift in making you feel like the most important person in the world. I think a lot of people crave that feeling, and almost feel healed by his personality," Glasses responds.
"And your biggest pet peeve?"
"Probably his kindness," Glasses continues with a chuckle, "He often gives so much of himself away. I wish him to be more selfish, occasionally."
By now, a pattern of questioning has appeared, so much so that, with a pan of the phone, Mustache knows he is meant to answer the same question.
"Sometimes he doesn't think he deserves community. He spent much of his life alone and falls on old isolating habits. I just try my best to prove the opposite," he says, stopping for a second to add just one more thing, "Oh! And hair-ties. There're so many hair-ties in between our couch cushions, I'm sure they've unionized. I wouldn't mind if they started striking, but I'm sure he would!"
The group laughs once again, positive that Glasses's excessive amount of lost hair-ties is not so much a pet peeve as it is a frequent event. The host ends his interview by shaking the men's hands and asking, "And what are your names?"
"I'm Ted," Mustache smiles.
"And I'm Trent," Glasses answers.
"Nice to meet you, Ted and Trent. Thank you for your time."
"Likewise! Say, what's your name, sir?" Ted asks, and the video ends.
10.2k comments
AFCRichmondOfficial ☑️
😉⚽️🏳️🌈
view 102 replies
EarlGreyhound ☑️
💖🐶
view 36 replies
jackstar42woow
Bro met Ted Lasso and didnt know his name 💀
Ariellbxby777
Get u someone tht looks at u like ted Lasso looks at Trent
grimace.shake.survivor
get you someone that talks about you like
trent talks about ted
crazycraxygyal
Men being vulnerable>>>>
caspytrok2414
Since when was Ted Lasso gay
OriginalJamieTartt ☑️
oi stop shagging on camera
walnutmxstluverrrr
me when u were on lust conquers all
view 288 more replies
Playdoighugh
fun fact Trent wrote a book on AFC Richmond's last 3 seasons
wondervullife
are you his publicist
jekyllandclyde.7.
the dedication page !!!!
view 3 more replies
stackkller000.
Dude on the right got fired for burning his source to the other dude
lacklustersadbob3
what does this mean
winstonetal... ➡️ lacklustersadbob3
Big journalism no no... 😓
MariahLllllpppp
How do you always manage to find the cutest couples?!!
girlsandcurlsand8
TED LASSO THE MAN THAT U ARE
imtheonlyoneiswear
Waht was that last match tho can we ask tdat
view 16 replies
ilovegrassandturf
RICHMOND TILL WE DIE 🔥🔥🔥‼️
