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Ahsoka couldn't sleep.
That was all the young togruta could think about as she lay awake in her bed, the peaceful thrum of sleep all but escaping her as time ticked by.
She didn't know why she couldn't sleep. Often times when she couldn't reach a state of slumber it was due to her reliving a nightmare of a battle; rewatching the horrific scene of clones dying all around her, seeing the life forces of the brothers she fought beside—her friends—fade away. And usually when she was having a nightmare she would go to Anakin, or Anakin would come to her after sensing her distress, and he would give Ahsoka the comfort she needed to help her calm down and ground her back to reality. Even when reality itself seemed to slip into her dreams.
But right now it was different. She wasn't having a nightmare, reliving a scene on a battlefield that had become all too familiar. Now, Ahsoka found herself lying awake, with nothing to do but stare at her dim ceiling.
It wasn't that she didn't want to go to sleep. She really did want to—and she was really trying to—but it was like her mind just wasn't letting her reach that state, forcing her to lie awake, ruminating on her own thoughts. She was exhausted.
At this point Ahsoka had mentally traced the grooves in the ceiling of her room so many times that she could practically still see the image of her ceiling when she shut her eyes, fruitlessly attempting to catch the lull of sleep that didn't seem to want to be caught.
Letting out a sigh, Ahsoka rolled onto her side. She had already moved around and switched her position to every which way possible in hopes that, each time she moved, this time she would fall asleep. But she was met with little success. So now the reason she moved was just for a change of scenery, if a "change in scenery" counted as swapping from staring at the ceiling to staring at her blank wall.
She wanted to go to Anakin. His presence was warm and comforting, and he always seemed to help lull her back to sleep. Though, that was usually after she had had a nightmare, and right now Ahsoka didn't know why she couldn't sleep. Just that she couldn't.
Through the force, she could feel the gentle hum and glow of Anakin's presence nearby, telling her that her Master was fast asleep, dozing peacefully in his bedroom down the hall. She wanted to go see him, tell him that she couldn't sleep. But she also didn't want to have to wake him when he seemed to be sleeping so soundly.
"You're welcome to come see me anytime, Snips."
That was something Anakin had told her earlier in their apprenticeship, after she had had her first nightmare with him as her Master. Anakin had come to her room sensing that she was in distress and had helped her calm down before telling her that she didn't have to wait for him to come to her when something's bothering her, like when she's having a nightmare.
But right now Ahsoka wasn't having a nightmare, so she wasn't sure wether to go to him or not.
Just go, urged the voice in her head. He won't mind.
Ahsoka chewed on her lip. Would he, though?
Ahsoka shook the doubt from her mind. Anakin had said it himself: she was welcome to come see him.
Maybe I should just go.
Releasing a sigh, Ahsoka sat up. And with that, she was climbing out of her bed, tiptoeing down the hall until she found herself standing outside of Anakin's bedroom door, deliberating once again on wether or not to actually go inside.
She raised her hand to knock on the door, fingers loosely folding into a fist—but she paused. She didn't really need to knock. And besides, it would mean that Anakin would have to get out of bed to find his fifteen—almost sixteen—year old Padawan waiting outside his door, who quite frankly wasn't having a nightmare and wasn't in any significant urgent distress.
Just go in. He won't mind.
Ahsoka bit her lip. It wasn't too late to turn back. She could lower her hand, step away from the door, retreat back down the hall, back to her bed. But...would that really help solve her current problem? She would be right back where she started again; staring up at her ceiling as sleep continued to evade her.
No, Ahsoka thought. It would be fruitless to turn back. She had already made it this far. She might as well see it through.
Letting out a breath, she waved open the door.
As she stepped inside, Ahsoka could see that Anakin's room was littered with droid parts and tools under the gentle light that was streaming in through the blinds, which she was careful to dodge as she quietly padded over to his bed. Anakin's sleeping form was sprawled out on the mattress, one leg out of his covers, the other leg under. As she made it round to the side of his bed, she could hear that Anakin was lightly snoring. He was sleeping so peacefully that for a moment Ahsoka almost wanted to turn back, not wanting to bother him. But something inside her kicked her to stay.
"Master?" she quietly whispered after a moment. Anakin didn't respond, continued to softly snore away, undisturbed. She tried again. "Master?"
Anakin shifted this time. Ahsoka gently shook his shoulder. "Anakin?"
This time, Anakin suddenly jerked awake. He blinked confusedly, bringing a hand up to rub his eyes.
"Soka?" he murmured.
The older Jedi looked confused for a moment before his brain seemed to register what was going on.
"Hey, what's...are you alright?" Anakin whispered in question, his tone gentle, yet Ahsoka could sense a hint of concern flare in his force presence. "What's wrong?"
"I...I can't sleep," Ahsoka whispered admittedly, rubbing her arm.
"Oh," Anakin breathed, nodding as he propped himself up on his elbows and pushed himself up to sit against the headboard. "Okay. Come sit."
Anakin patted the space on the mattress beside him, motioning for Ahsoka to sit on the bed with him. Obediently, Ahsoka climbed into the bed beside her evidently still sleepy Master and leaned against the headboard. Anakin rubbed his eyes again and stifled a yawn.
"I didn't want to bother you," Ahsoka said quietly, "But—"
"No, no, you're not bothering me, Snips," Anakin cut in. "You're always welcome to come to me, you know that, right?"
Ahsoka nodded.
"Good." Anakin smiled, albeit a little sleepily. Ahsoka couldn't help but still feel a slight pang of guilt that she had woken him up like this, but when Anakin reached out to comfortingly stroke her montral with nothing but a tender caring look in his eyes, Ahsoka found that her guilt melted away, replaced by a feeling of gratitude as she leaned into his touch.
"Now, is there a reason why you can't sleep?" Anakin asked quietly. "Did you have a nightmare?"
"No. No, I didn't have a nightmare," Ahsoka replied. "It's just...I don't really know why I can't sleep. It's like I just...can't."
Anakin hummed, giving her a sympathetic look.
"And I feel tired," she continued, "but...it's like my brain won't let me sleep."
"Hmm, alright," Anakin said, continuing his hand on her montral. "Well...do you want to try to see if you can sleep here? With me?"
Ahsoka nodded, meeting his eyes. Anakin gave her a comforting smile.
"Alright," he replied, before moving to hold out his arms for her. "C'mere."
With a grateful smile, Ahsoka moved in and cuddled up beside her Master as Anakin wrapped his arms around her, his flesh hand coming to rest against her left montral once again.
"I'm sorry you can't sleep, Snips," he whispered, before he began to gently stroke her lekku, tracing his fingers along the blue and white stripes of her left lek. Almost immediately Ahsoka began to relax. She felt so warm and safe, enwrapped in the comfort of her Master's—her brother's—arms. And as her eyelids drifted shut, it almost felt as if something inside her told her it's okay, you can sleep now. Like an invisible weight she didn't even realise was there was suddenly beginning to lift.
"Do you want me to give you a sleep suggestion?" Anakin whispered after a minute, his fingers still tracing along the stripes of her lekku. Ahsoka nodded—well, more like shifted—her head against Anakin's shoulder, sending him a wave of permission through the force.
"Alright," Anakin whispered in reply, before his hand stilled on her montral and Ahsoka felt the strangely warm feeling of him easing a sleep suggestion into her mind, feeling it slip right past her mental shields and settle into the depths of her mind, immediately lulling her towards unconsciousness. "Sleep now, Ahsoka."
Thank you, Master.
You're welcome, Padawan.
As her consciousness faded, the last thing Ahsoka could remember was the feeling of a blanket being tucked over her shoulders followed by a gentle kiss being pressed against the dip between her montrals.
How did she deserve the best Master in the whole galaxy?
What Ahsoka missed after she drifted off to sleep was the biggest, warmest smile on her Master's face as he sank back down into the pillows next to his Padawan.
How did he deserve the best Padawan in the whole galaxy?