Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

  The Express was quiet, quieter than it was on any normal day. The regular passengers, and those that had been invited on board, had dispersed through the train or back to their daily lives. In the parlor car, only three trailblazers sat together on one of the large red couches. Well, technically it was them and a hologram of Silver Wolf, but she seemed more interested in her phone than them.

  On one side of the couch, Dan Heng sat, a book open in his hands. It was something he'd picked up from Belobog's library before they'd left, a personal recommendation from Bronya about the city's history with the Aeon Qlipoth. 

  On the other side was March 7th, sorting through her latest batch of photographs. She put the ones she liked best into a pile on the table where Himeko kept her coffee cup, sorting the rest into smaller stacks. Of course, she liked all of them, but she also had some definite favorites.

  And in the middle of these two, laying across the couch, was Caelus. His legs laid across Dan Heng's thighs, while his head rested in March's lap. One of her hands occasionally came down to play with strands of his hair, pushing it both into and out of his face. Each time her fingers caressed his hair, he hummed in quiet appreciation, and she always looked down with a smile.

  Most of Caelus's attention was on his phone, as he maneuvered around and tried to figure out the mechanics of a new event in the game he'd downloaded a few weeks ago. It wasn't his usual style; a turn-based RPG gacha game about traveling through space. But he'd been bored, and it was fun enough that he'd commit himself to it for a little while.

  He found himself yawning about ten minutes into playing. Not because the game was boring, although it was a little slow now that he'd finished the main quests, but more because of just how quiet it was. For the entire time they'd been in Belobog, it had been non-stop chaos, from fleeing guards to fighting a Stellaron-possessed Cocolia. He hadn't been given a real chance to rest, none of them had. It hadn't helped that he'd been badgered by Herta to test out the Simulated Universe the entire time, and had ended up running into her simulated version of Fuli. But now they had fixed the crisis, and the Express was on its way to the next stop, and they got to relax for the first time in weeks.

  Wanting to stay in the company of the other two trailblazers for a little longer, Caelus resisted sleep, shaking his head every so often in an effort to stay focused and awake.

  The general warmth of the Express, combined with the always comforting presence of his companions, wasn't helping this endeavor.

  Try as he might, Caelus succumbed to his body's need for rest when March tangled her fingers in his hair again, pushing silver locks over his eyes. Her touch was warm, and her hand was soft. On the other side of the couch, Dan Heng began humming along to the song playing on the phonograph. Caelus drifted off as he listened, brought to sleep by the soothing lullaby that was Dan Heng's voice. 

  He closed his eyes, and fell into the void of rest.

  He opened his eyes, and was staring at the night sky.

  The sight itself wasn't that shocking. The Astral Express had windows directly to the universe, where starry sky was visible for miles. The sight of the stars didn't bother him. What did, was the feeling of grass underneath him. The Express had many things, but it did not have a garden. Even if it did, he was fairly certain that's not where he fell asleep.

  There was silence, save for the sound of crickets chirping. He blinked, and the stars did not vanish, nor did the world return to how it had been before. A pause. An exhale.

  His body moved without permission, one hand -pale yet tanner than he remembered ever being- stretched out, fingers reaching towards the distant stars. It held that position for as long as it could handle before dropping back to the ground, bracing against the earth and using the momentum to push up.

  A moment later he was sitting up, the stars no longer in his view. Instead, a forest spanned around him, a collage of greens and browns made darker by the low lighting. It wasn't a sight he recognized, none of this was. 

  .  .  . Where was he?

  Caelus tried to turn his head and look around, but just as before, his body did not obey his thoughts. Instead, his hand ran through his hair -which, now that he thought about it, felt longer than before- as a voice called out from the distance.

  "Irene!"

  The voice was far away, far enough that he couldn't see the source of it. It called out again, and he got the impression it was a woman calling out. His head unwillingly turned in the direction it came from, although he'd wanted to look anyway.

  "Irene, come back to the house, darling. It's getting late."

  His body -or was this Irene's?- heaved a long, deep sigh, and Caelus felt the tug of emotions that were not his own.

  Longing was the first; a deep, tremendous pull to stay outside, to remain among the grass and trees. Resignation was the second, a knowledge that they could not, no matter how much they may want to, stay out here forever.

  And the third was something neither he nor whoever this 'Irene' was, could identify. A sense of wrongness, a stab of discomfort from the sound of their own name. The emotion came with no answer as to why. 'Irene' decided to push it aside, and Caelus didn't pull the thought back. He was a bit too focused on the strangeness of hearing thoughts that weren't his.

  They pushed themself to their feet, dusting grass off their jeans and flipping long silver hair back over their shoulders. The color was remarkably similar to his own.

  Caelus, realizing very quickly that he was nothing more than a spectator in his body that was not his own, resigned himself to watching the world through this stranger's eyes. It wasn't as distressing as he thought it might be.

  As Irene began their trek through the woods around them, Caelus wondered about trying to wake himself. There were only two problems with that plan. For one, he wasn't certain whether this was a dream or not. Logically he thought it should be, but it felt too realistic, too physical and stable. Nothing like any normal dream, that's for sure. And two, even if this was some kind of dream, he didn't actually know how to wake himself up from one. It wasn't as if he had dreamed much, in his life so far.

  He briefly tried just chanting 'wake up, wake up' in his head, but that got repetitive too fast.

  Irene made it back to what he assumed was their home, and it really wasn't as long of a walk as Caelus had thought it would be. Maybe that was because he hadn't been paying attention most of the walk.

  They stepped inside, and were greeted by that same woman's voice.

  "Oh, there you are!" The woman was sitting partially reclined in a plush armchair, though she sat up when they came through the door. She gestured with her hands, and Irene came closer, allowing the woman -who Caelus assumed was their mother- to pull them into a loose hug. It was a strange embrace for the both of them, and Caelus wasn't sure he liked this any more than Irene seemed to.

  "My sweet girl," she said, and that discomfort returned, stabbing through the both of them like a spear. "I know you love to explore, but you have to start staying at home. You need to settle down eventually." They opened their mouth to protest, and she cut them off, smiling the kind of smile that only mothers do. "I know, I know, you don't want to. But you will someday. That's just the nature of humans; everyone will settle down at some point."

  Caelus listened, already disagreeing with the woman's words. It seemed that Irene shared his view, as something deep within them, in their mind and soul, recoiled at the very thought of settling down, like every fiber of their being disagreed with their mother's philosophy. They said nothing of this, and only gave her a small, placid smile.

  Caelus wondered why. If it had been him, he would have challenged her philosophy, because in his eyes it simply wasn't true. The very Path he walked, the path of the Trailblaze, completely contradicted everything she had said. And he could feel, through whatever weird link they shared, that Irene's view was exactly the same as his. So then why, he wondered, did they not defend their own worldview?

  And then he paused, and looked closer.

  Irene's mother was pale, to the point of looking sickly. She had large bags under her eyes, and her skin was tight against her too-thin face. Now that he was paying attention, he could even feel the way her hands shook while holding her child close. She looked weak, and sick. It was possible that the reason Irene wasn't arguing was because they knew their mother was sick. For all he knew, she might be dying.

  Irene kissed their mother's forehead, the same placating smile on their face. It wasn't entirely genuine, but it wasn't wholly fake either. They spoke with a soft voice, and he got the impression that they wouldn't speak this kindly to anyone else.

  "Alright, mom. I'm going to bed now. Make sure to get some rest, and take your medication like the doctor said."

  It was such a foreign feeling, having the voice of another come from his mouth. Then again, it wasn't really his, was it?

  A memory that he didn't have floated to the forefront of both of their minds. A memory of a man in a doctor's coat and gloves, scribbling prescriptions onto a sheet of paper. He spoke with a tone that betrayed how many times he'd had this conversation.

  "Your mother doesn't have much time. This medication will give her a week or two at best, but it can't keep her stable forever. I'm sorry, there's nothing else I can do."

  They lingered on the doctor's words even after trying to shove the memory away. Their mother said nothing else, her energy spent, and so they made their way upstairs. The house they were in was as decently nice, by most standards, if sparsely decorated. Barely any paintings or pictures dotted the walls. 

  March would think of it as an outrage, if she'd seen this.

  Irene's bedroom wasn't much better, although they at least had some pictures taped to the walls. Various images of places and people that Caelus didn't recognize. Once they shut the door, rather than go to sleep as they'd said, Irene made a beeline for the window. They pushed it open and reached one hand out, grabbing hold of the edge of the roof. Then, using a surprising amount of strength for someone with such thin arms, they pulled themself up the rest of the way.

  They shifted their position a few times to get it right, digging their heels into the shingles so they didn't slip, before settling on laying back and staring at the sky.

  It was a sight almost exactly the same as the one he'd woken up to.

  For a while, they seemed content with watching the constellations twinkle in the distant sky. And then, as a particularly bright star sparkled above, a thought drifted into their head. A thought they couldn't seem to get rid of.

  "She's wrong," Irene muttered, hesitant at first like they weren't sure of their own words. Their confidence grew with every statement, and they sat up. "About everything. She's wrong, I just know she is." Their gaze flicked from the sky, to the forest surrounding the house, and the distant view of a city beyond it, then back to the stars.

  "There's a whole universe out there. Thousands, millions of worlds. What's the point of having them if our only purpose is to stay in one place? Why would they exist, if someone wasn't meant to explore them?"

  A strange feeling streaked through their chest, and by extension Caelus's as well. It wasn't so much an emotion, more a pull of sorts. A faint tug, a deep longing, a desire to journey beyond the borders of where they call 'home'.

  Their thoughts were interrupted, brought back to the ground by their phone vibrating beside them. On the screen was a group chat, of people Caelus assumed were Irene's friends.

  Surii

    Did you guys see those travelers that showed up earlier?

  IHaveNoIdea

   wait what

   when did that happen???

  dr_stoned

   Were they hot?

  Surii

   They got here an hour ago. And YES, they were so damn hot. I'd smash any day.

   Got me feeling weak

  IHaveNoIdea

   HELBP WHAT

  Lover_Boy

   Leslie quit being a whore

  Surii

   Never.

  Irene laughed, letting themself enjoy.watching their friends bicker, before their thoughts zoned in on the first message. They typed up a text of their own far faster than they had ever texted back before. Caelus was surprised by how similar their typing was to his.

  BetterThanYou

Do you know how long they're staying for?

Surii

   Only for tonight. 

   Tried to ask one of them out and he told me they wouldn't be here by tomorrow

   ;(

  Surii

   they're still here tho.

   You could go talk to them or something. Maybe that'll get you to stop complaining about wanting to leave

  Irene didn't respond to the message, slipping their phone into their pocket and climbing back through the window into their bedroom. An overwhelming sense of inspiration, determination, was coursing through their veins. Caelus, being that he had yet to find a way to get himself back to his own body, was dragged along as well.

  They went downstairs with more energy in their step than the first time. Unfortunately, this energy didn't last long, as they were stopped dead in their tracks by the sight of their mother's gaze. Her eyes were soft, her gaze settling everywhere and nowhere at once.

  "M-mom," they started, and Caelus was unwillingly subjected to the rush of explanations they could give rushing through their head. They had a lot of them prepared, it was a little funny. In the end, they didn't need to use any of them.

  Their mother shook her head, her eyes focusing at last on her child's face. "You're going out, aren't you?" Before they could respond, she kept talking. "It's alright, it's alright. You're a teenage girl. It's natural that you'd want to go be with your friends." She smiled, and Irene did as well, though they were smiling for very different reasons. "Go on, now, go have fun. Go be happy."

  Irene kept their smile all the way to the door, though it was tinged with sadness as they stepped out. They turned to give their mother one last look, acutely aware that they would not get another chance. "I love you, Mom."

  She closed her eyes, leaning back in her chair. "I love you too, my guiding star."

  They closed the door, walked a few steps away from it, faced the outside world, and took off in a sprint.

  As they ran, Caelus tried to take in some of their surroundings. Maybe, if this wasn't just some weird dream, he could suggest this planet for the Express's next stop. If only he could figure out where they even were. Irene wasn't making it easy for him, though he hadn't really expected them to. 

  Nothing was easy in the life of a trailblazer, it seemed.

  They ran with the ease of someone who'd done this their entire life, taking paths he wouldn't have thought to and expertly dodging any interruptions to their stride. It was impressive, if disorienting at the same time.

  It wasn't long before the distant lights of the city grew closer, and the sounds of people going about their daily lives filled the silence in place of footsteps and cricket chirping. Irene dashed through it all, running past sights Caelus really would've liked to see.

  There were so many things here, on this world he still didn't know the name of, that Caelus had never seen before. And yet somehow, as he drank in the sights through the eyes of Irene, there was something so very familiar about this place, about these people. Caelus didn't really have time to think about it, and so he shoved the thought back. The feeling lingered anyway.

  Irene skidded to a stop, in front of a large ship unlike anything they'd seen. There were people walking on and off, carrying various boxes and supplies. Their eyes flicked over every person, scanning for someone unfamiliar. They found them almost immediately, and made a beeline right for the person they assumed was in charge.

  "Are you guys the outsiders that landed earlier?" It was a bit of a useless question, as the answer was obvious, but they asked regardless. The young woman they'd approached blinked, then answered in a tone steeped in amused curiosity.

  "Yes, I guess that's what you'd call us. Why?"

  Their voice was less relaxed than hers, not that they bothered to try fixing it. "When are you all leaving?"

  She tilted her head back towards the clipboard in her hands, two of her fingers holding a black pen. "In just a few minutes, actually. We only needed to buy some quick supplies before our next stop. So if you need something from us, you're lucky; you got here just in time." She checked off an item from her list.

  "Take me with you!"

  The woman stopped writing. Her pen almost dropped from ber fingers. Surprise dotted her dark purple eyes. "What?"

  Irene cut her off, speaking so rapidly they were hardly understandable. "Listen, I can help out. I can cook, clean, whatever, just take me with you. I- I can't stay on this planet, I just can't, it's driving me insane. Please, just-"

  This time, they were the one silenced by a single word.

  "Okay."

  They blinked. Watched her with wide, startled eyes. Their heart pounded in their chest, like it was straining to be free from their ribcage. The woman smiled, though it was laced with the smallest hint of confusion, as if she herself didn't know why she'd said yes.

  "You seem like a good kid. As long as you can pull your weight, you're welcome to travel with us for a while. At least until our next main stop. Go hop on the ship if you don't have anything left to do; I'll follow you, and then we'll be heading back out."

  Silent, stunned, they walked onto the ship that would take them out of here. This time, Irene let their eyes wander around, letting Caelus see their surroundings in full. The ship itself was nice, if nothing special compared to the Astral Express. But he could feel that to Irene, it was the greatest thing they'd ever laid eyes on. The woman came up behind them, pat them on the shoulder with a smile, then vanished to a different part of the ship.

  The doors shut, and a voice declared over an intercom that they were taking off. Ignoring everything, Irene situated themself by a window in one of the different sections of the ship. Their hands pressed against the glass as they watched their home slowly vanish into the rest of the blackness.

  Something deep within them stirred, pushing against their mind, seeping into their soul. Something inside of them reached out to the world, grabbed hold of the universe outside the window. And, the longer they stared at the galaxy, it seemed to stare back. A thought drifted to their mind. It did not feel quite like their own, and yet it was, somehow. 

  This is it. This is what I was made for; this is why I'm here. There's a whole universe just outside this window .  .  .

  A strange, foreign feeling bubbled in them. A flickering of light, a spark of power behind understanding. Their hands pressed harder against the glass. In the reflection, their eyes lit up like they hadn't before.

  I'm going to explore it.

  Their words were both a promise, a vow, and an inherent truth of reality. Pieces clicked into place, cracks in their heart built and mended themselves and split apart again. A rush of power flooded their limbs, their mind, their heart, their soul. A surge of light burst across their vision, an echo of sunlight from within. Enlightenment glowed in their eyes as the truth was revealed, the truth that always had existed, that always would. They pressed against the window, leaning closer and closer, reaching for the outside, until it fell away, and they tumbled right onto the universe's waiting arms. It held them like a parent might their child, whispering wisps of starlight into their thoughts.

  "Give up your old self. Embrace something better than humanity. Become part of the universe, one with the world you love."

  Silver glowed and sparkled, illuminating the abyss around them like a guiding light. They shined as bright as the Polaris star. Power surged and flowed through their veins, power unimaginable -unattainable- to any human. The kind of power that only a God might harness. Caelus felt as though he might be consumed by the raw, uncontrolled strength of it.

  A name came from the dark expanse of starlight, from the universe's kind hold. Something greater than humanity, something grander than Godhood, called out to them.

  "Akivili," it said, and their heart leapt from their chest. Deep in their mind, their body, their being, the name filled cracks and patched holes they'd had since the beginning. Euphoria coursed through their heart, as their ever restless soul shoved harder against the constraints of their body.

  Akivili felt themself changing, their form shifting and transforming into something new. Something better. They closed their eyes against the transformation, embracing it, letting the light decide their new self.

  Caelus found himself struggling, not taking the ordeal as well as they did. The feeling of his body, even if it wasn't really his, changing was something overwhelming. He found it was easier to handle if he focused on each transformation individually, and at least it wasn't painful. It didn't even feel like flesh was being manipulated, more like light was reforming itself into the image of a person.

  He felt long silver hair shorten, lightened by the glow and made almost white. Akivili's body shifted, gaining muscle, gaining size and height and mass until they were large enough that their fingertips could brush against the stars, and they would feel no pain. Their chest flattened, their form hardening even while staying soft in some places.

  "Akivili," the world called, caressing the newly born Aeon in the words of warmth. "Walk your Path proudly. Journey to the ends, and once you find it, return to the stars, as all things are meant to."

  Fueled by this encouragement, by an enlightenment they finally understood, by an awakening of purpose that couldn't have come sooner, Akivili reached their hands out to the abyss, and cupped a newborn star in their palms. The star had formed when they did.

  The Trailblaze opened their eyes, and took their first step into the endless unknown.

  With a jerk, a gasp, and a shake to his shoulder, Caelus startled awake, his surroundings blinking slowly into focus. He tried to focus on what was around him.

  Red caught his attention first. Lots and lots of red. The next thing was the feeling of fabric underneath him, fabric that he recognized. And the last, was someone's hand gently shaking at his shoulder. Caelus looked around, sitting up, cracking his neck and knuckles.

  Beside him, March 7th breathed a sigh of relief. "Oh good, you're up. Are you okay? You were turning and muttering a lot while you were asleep."

  Across the couch, now reading an article of some kind on his phone, Dan Heng decided to add himself to the conversation. "March was worried about you."

  The girl in question huffed, rolling her eyes in a way that held no malice or upset. "Of course I was worried!" She turned her attention back to Caelus, her hands now cupping either side of his face, tilting his head from side to side like it would help her figure out what was wrong. It didn't, but her touch was rather grounding. "Don't let Dan Heng fool you, we were both worried."

  Touched by his girlfriend's kindness, and the knowledge that both of his partners had been concerned, Caelus smiled and leaned into her touch. "I'm fine, March. You don't have to worry."

  She frowned, clearly unconvinced even as he tried to assure her that he was alright. "Are you sure? You were muttering a lot in your sleep; something about the universe."

  Caelus's mind readily supplied him the memory of the dream he'd been having, sending images of starry skies and city lights into his thoughts. He tried to brush those aside, brushing the experience off as a hyper-realistic dream or something, even as the echoes of Aeonic power thumped in his veins.

  "I'm fine, I'm fine. I guess having my first Trailblaze mission affected my dreams or something." She still didn't seem entirely convinced, but let it go, deciding to drop the subject for now. Caelus stood up, stretching his limbs, listening to the pop and crack of his joints. "C'mon, how about we go get some food together? I'm sure Pom-Pom wouldn't mind us raiding the kitchen."

  That brightened her mood, and she was up in an instant, fixing her skirt before dashing off to the food car. Dan Heng got up a moment later, having decided to join them in their miniature adventure, mostly so they didn't take too much food. He reached over, smoothing Caelus's hair back down -it had become very messy, apparently due to all the moving in his sleep- with the smallest of smiles. Caelus batted his boyfriend's hand away with a laugh.

  Even as they walked together to go join their girlfriend in the kitchen, Caelus's mind was elsewhere. Try as he might to forget about it, he could think of nothing but a view of the stars, nothing and everything like the ones outside the window, and of long, messy silver hair.

  He reached a hand up, threading some of the strands around his fingers. 

  Silver hair, and a smile so much like his own.

Chapter Text

  The next time Caelus dreamed of Akivili, it was an entire two weeks after the first. By then, the Express had arrived at the Xianzhou Luofu, and he, Mr. Yang, and March had been working hard since stepping foot on the ship. The minute they got a chance, they all crashed at a local hotel.

  They didn't have much luggage, so it didn't take long to bring everything in. Most of their personal things were kept on the Express. As he slung their last bag -there were only three, one for each of them- off his shoulder and onto the floor, Caelus yawned, stretching out his arms, looking around.

  The room he and March would be staying in was simply decorated, but pretty in a way even he could appreciate. There was a painting of some distant planet above the perfectly made bed, and a mirror built into one of the walls. In that mirror, Caelus caught a glimpse of his reflection. He stared at himself, blinked, then looked closer. Everything was as it should be. Same gold eyes, same pale -though.now tanner than before- skin, same silver hair. Strange .  .  . He could've sworn his eyes were blue for a second, there. Caelus hummed, and brushed it off as a trick of the light.

  Speaking of his hair, the sight of the bright color brought an image to mind, of someone else with silver-white hair.

  His head filled with color, snapshots of memories, pictures from the dream he couldn't get out of his head. Of course, it wasn't like he thought of it everytime he saw his own hair, but he did think of it now.

  He tilted his head, losing himself in thoughts and questions and memories. There was so much and so little he could say about the whole thing, so many theories he had that probably weren't true at all.

  In the end, it was March's arrival that snapped him out of his staring, as he turned his attention to her instead.

  She came in, took a single glance around, then gave a the room a nod, a sign of Official March Approval. She wandered for a bit, as if trying to find secrets hidden in the corners, before flopping down on the bed, content.

  "Ahhhh .  .  . The beds here are so comfy! Caelus, c'mere, you've gotta feel how soft these pillows are!" She buried her face into the plush fabric.

  Welt came in at that moment, effectively cutting off the reply he'd been about to give. The older man cast a glance over the two, a tired sort of smile on his face. "I'll be going to bed soon, I just wanted to come and check on you both."

  March, face still shoved into the pillow, raised one of her hands with a thumbs up. Copying her, Caelus did as well, though he didn't have to raise his hand as high to be seen. "We're all good in here, Mr. Yang!" Somehow, her voice stayed bright even while muffled by a pillow.

  Welt nodded, likely too tired to dwell on the subject or talk more about anything. Old age does that to you, sometimes. "That's good. You two should get some rest. We've got our work cut out for us tomorrow. I'll be in the room across from this one, if there's an emergency."

  He took his leave shortly after, leaving behind a copy of his room key. They probably wouldn't need it, given the stay would only be one night long. After Welt closed the door, Caelus sat down on the edge of the bed, shrugging his jacket off. He tried to bend down and take off his shoes, but March took the opportunity to slip her arm around his waist and tug him to her side.

  "Wha- March!" He exclaimed with a laugh, as his girlfriend unleashed her inner cuddle-bug. He twisted so that they were facing each other, allowing her to see his face through the one eye she'd left visible.

  "I haven't been able to cuddle with you in like- two weeks! I missed you."

  Caelus resisted the urge to make a comment about how they'd been on the Express together, and she could've asked to cuddle at any time. She probably wasn't going to listen, if the sleepy sound of her voice said anything about that. She snuggled closer, and he got the feeling he wasn't getting out of her hold anytime soon.

  "Alright, March, alright. We can cuddle tonight."

  She made a quiet, satisfied sound, holding him tight in her arms. Caelus returned the embrace, feeling his girlfriend's breathing even out as she drifted off. He stroked his fingers over her hair, curling pink strands around his index and thumb, deciding that sleep might be a good idea, even for just a little while.

  When his senses returned, Caelus still had someone's hair curled around his fingers. The world was still warm with the weight of a body pressed against his own, although the weight had shifted to his lap, which was .  .  . Odd.

  He kept his eyes closed, wanting to savor his girlfriend's presence as long as he could. He leaned back, and two things struck his senses at the same time. The first, was the feeling of tree bark against his back. The second, was a sound made by a distinctly masculine voice.

  Caelus opened his eyes, gaze flicking around his various surroundings. The sights he saw were less confusion-inducing than the last time, as his brain supplied memories of an experience rather like this. That didn't mean he wasn't confused, just slightly less so.

  His head tilted to look down, staring at the person in his lap. 

  A man with thick black hair laid there, curled mostly on the grass underneath them. He seemed to be asleep, if the even rise and fall of his chest indicated anything. Caelus's fingers -no, these weren't his hands, even if they felt so much like them- were buried in the thick locks, like he'd been brushing them with his fingers. These hands felt familiar. These eyes .  .  . Hadn't he seen through them before?

  The man on his lap mumbled a sleepy grumble, something about "damned sunlight", then rolled off to curl up under a darker spot of shade. The tree they were under helped with the brightest of the light, but didn't get rid of the problem completely. A feeling of affection, of a familial kind of love, washed over him from the mind of the person he was seeing things through. 

  They watched the horizon for a bit, and images of adventures filtered through both of their thoughts. Places and people from everywhere, entire worlds and galaxies so far away yet so close. It was nice, for the both of them, to imagine these adventures and think of where they might go next. Caelus wouldn't lie, he had been doing the same thing lately, whenever his mind started to wander.

  Their daydreams were cut short by a child's voice.

  "Akivili, Akivili!"

  His head turned in the direction of the voice, not by his command. A streak of realization, remembrance, coursed through him. 

  Ah, this was another dream about Akivili. That made .  .  . Sense? He wasn't sure why he was dreaming like this, but it didn't matter much at the moment, and he doubted thinking too hard would help.

  The child ran up until she almost tumbled to the ground. They held out an arm in preparation to catch her, but the girl flailed out her arms like a pinwheel and managed not to fall. She kept her smile during the entire process, which was a little impressive.

  "Akivili!" She said, despite the fact that the Aeon sat right in front of her. "Come play with us! We miss you!" She extended her arm towards a group of children playing in a sunnier part of the field. They snuck glances over to the two every so often, but seemed to be trying to be subtle about it. It wasn't working.

  Akivili smiled, plucking a small poppy flower out of the grass and twirling it between their fingers. "You see me every day, on the train." Their voice was light, melodious and pleasant, carrying the faintest hint of teasing.

  She huffed, some of her brightness dimming to make way for the diluted kind of exasperation common in kids. "Yeah, but you've been with Matthew's daddy all day! We haven't gotten to play with you at all!"

  To soothe her back down, now that they'd had enough of the teasing, they planted one hand on the ground and used it to stand.

  Power rippled over their skin, flowing across their form. Their body shifted, swirled, then settled. A grey T-shirt and roughed-up jeans became flowy white fabric, more comfortable for the direct sunlight. There skin shifted shades, pale white cycling to dark tan. A faint shimmer rested over their body, swirling and flowing, making small changes that Akivili themself probably wasn't very aware of.

  Caelus, just as it had been last time, felt the majority of sensations that Akivili did. This meant that he felt every shift of their skin, the way their form wavered, never truly settling. It was a feeling he'd never experienced before, and for most, shape-shifting like that would be something unnatural and strange. That's how it should have felt.

  It felt as natural as breathing.

  Oh, it was definitely startling at first, unexpected mostly. But after getting over the initial shock, Caelus almost .  .  . Welcomed it. It felt good, shifting freely like that.

(It felt right.)

  Caelus tried not to think about these feelings of his. He'd rather not have a crisis right now. This dream was turning out to be rather pleasant; he kind of wanted to see how it would go.

  Akivili let their hand fall and stroke over the girl's head, smiling in the way they knew she liked. "Alright," they said, watching her face light up with ten times the intensity. "We can play together for a few minutes. But then we have to go back to the Express, okay?"

  "Okay!" Her smile was wider, brighter. She told their hand and led them into the sunlight. Akivili and Caelus had the same thought at the same time. 

  She didn't listen to a single word of that, did she?

  The other children cheered as she returned, their God in tow. They called out in a chorus of laughter and glee, shouting various suggestions for things to do.

  "Akivili! Let's play soldiers!"

  "No, I wanna hear them tell more stories!"

  "You should play with my dolls with me!"

  Everyone had a different request, and the sun was already getting low in the sky. It wasn't dusk yet, but there looked to be only an hour or two of good sunlight left. There definitely wasn't enough time to do every suggestion. And while Akivili wasn't opposed to staying out during the night, they'd been asked specifically to bring everyone back to the train when it got dark.

  If Caelus were there, he probably would have found a way to combine some of the suggestions and compromise. He'd always liked solutions like that. Akivili, however, had a different idea.

  "Calm down, everyone." Their voice was enough to get the attention of the group, and the soothing tone of it calmed most of the kids' growing frustration. "We can do all of those things another time. But we don't have enough time today to  do everything." Some of the kids dimmed in their excitement, but the Aeon hadn't finished. "So, we're going to do something different. You guys all like flowers, right?"

  That got the group's attention the most. Each child looked to another, like they were confirming that they all did like flowers. The agreed upon answer was yes. Akivili smiled; they'd known that already.

  "Good, good." They sat down in the grass, plucking a bright purple flower from the ground and holding it up. "How about we make flower crowns for the others? I'm sure they'd love to have them."

  It really didn't take much to get them to go along with the new plan. The simple fact that it was Akivili asking was enough on its own, for most of them. Some didn't seem as satisfied, but went along because the rest of the group was doing it. They scattered yet knew to stay in sight, picking flowers- and getting into disagreements about whether pink or blue flowers are prettier.

  The answer was blue, in Akivili's mind, but they knew better than to say that. Mirablis might never forgive them for siding against her favorite color. Not until she picked a new one next week, like always.

  As they began looking for their own flowers, the Aeon wasn't surprised when they felt a small weight curl itself by their side. They looked out the corner of their eye, seeing little Azaroth, the youngest of the Nameless children. He'd always loved being near them. The soft pulse of warmth, the gentle aura of power, was perhaps something comforting to the boy.

  There was only one other person with them, close enough to talk to anyway. One of the older kids, visibly almost sixteen. They'd known her since she was four, known her parents even longer. So they knew that that this silence, the way she was keeping her eyes on the ground, wasn't normal at all. The Nameless have their fair share of introverts, so Akivili tried not to bother someone who might just prefer the silence. But Jasmine, she'd never been that way before.

  They tried to keep their tone light, not wanting to scare her out of talking. "Jas? Is everything alright over there? You're being awfully quiet."

  She jerked, startled back into reality by their words. She kept her gaze on the grass. "Oh, it's .  .  . It's nothing."

  Akivili huffed, unimpressed and unconvinced. It doesn't always take a lot to convince them of things, but you've to do a better job than that. "You can talk to me, you know. I'm here for all of the Nameless. That includes you."

  The comment about the Nameless seemed to strike a cord in the teen, as she closed her eyes and stiffened her expression, before breathing out and trying to go back to normal. It wasn't working. "It's just some personal stuff, really. I doubt a God would be interested in my life problems."

  They frowned, disliking that she thought they wouldn't care. They'd always cared, about every one of their Nameless.

  "I'm not asking as your God. I'm asking as your friend, Jasmine."

  She went silent, eyes watering with the beginnings of tears. Akivili's brow furrowed in concern for what had affected her this badly. She stayed like that, silent and staring at the ground, for a few minutes before her voice broke through it. Jasmine spoke in a hesitant whisper that Akivili knew was nothing like her at all.

 ".  .  . I was thinking of settling down, soon." They didn't get a chance to ask what she meant, as Jasmine kept talking. Faster, like she was worried she'd stop if she didn't finish soon. "I met someone, on the last planet we stayed at. Xe was so kind, and sweet, and .  .  . I think I want to stay with xem. I- I still love the Nameless, and the Express, I just-"

  Jasmine trailed off, not sure how to turn her thoughts into words. They'd heard enough that they knew what was going on, now. "Jas .  .  . Did you really think I wouldn't care about this?"

  Shrugging, Jasmine looked away, and her voice was a shaky whisper when she started talking again. "I .  .  . Kind of thought you'd be angry or something." 

  They could see their reflection in her watery eyes, and something wasn't right about it. They tweaked the shape of their lips, softened the edges and outlines, and lowered the intensity of their eyes. Green becomes orange becomes light blue. Caelus realized that this was the first time he'd actually seen Akivili's face, both in these dreams and just .  .    Ever. They looked exactly how he'd thought, and nothing like it at the same time.

  The God's laughter came as a shock to both Caelus and Jasmine. It wasn't a mocking kind of laugh, too soft and sad for that. Maybe they were laughing at the world, at the thought of being angry for this. Their laughter faded as they plucked a light pink flower from the grass. "Jasmine .  .    I could never be upset at you. I could never be mad at any of the Nameless, not for doing something as simple as loving someone."

  Tears gathered in her eyes, and she wiped them away like they didn't exist. "But .  .  . Exploring, trailblazing, that's your whole thing. That's the purpose of the Nameless. Aren't- aren't you upset that I want to stop being part of that? Aren't you-"

  "Jas. I'm not upset at you. If you want to stop trailblazing with the Express, that's alright. But just because you've settled down somewhere, doesn't mean you've abandoned us or anything."

  She blinked, eyes wide, staring like she couldn't believe what they were saying. They prepared to speak again, and Caelus thought of what he'd say to the girl if he'd been able to. Akivili's next words should've surprised him, but they didn't, because they were the exact words in his thoughts.

  "Anyone who travels among us is part of the Nameless. No matter what you do or how far away you are, you are still one of us. Even if you change forms someday, or become someone unrecognizable, the Express will always have a place for you."

  A single tear slipped from Jasmine's eyes, then another. She wiped her tears with the base of her palm, and though they wanted to hug her, they kept their distance, knowing her dislike of hugs. She returned to making the flower crown in her hands with a new sense of softness.

  Akivili did as well, needing something to do with their hands. "We'll circle back to that planet, once we finish up here." In the meantime, ideas for a goodbye celebration were already forming in their head, but she didn't need to know that just yet. Jasmine remained silent, and they could see the way she shook with the weight of her emotions. They got the distinct feeling that emotion wasn't just sadness anymore.

  The rest of the children returned not long after they finished talking, climbing and clamoring over Akivili as they pleased, admiring and messing up the flower crowns in the same movements. Jasmine let out an exasperated sigh that you could only learn by dealing with children for a long time, scooping a little girl into her arms as she stood. Faintly, the Aeon could hear her scolding her little sister.

  "Alright, everyone!" They clapped their hands together, setting the flower crown they'd made on a young boy's head before standing. He looked absolutely ecstatic, it was adorable. "We're going back to the Express for tonight. We're going to celebrate something really important." The mention of celebration had the kids perking up as a group, looking over to each other like they were trying to find out if it was someone's birthday.

  "Matthew." The boy with black hair looked up to see their face. "Can you go wake up your father? I don't want him getting left behind." With a nod and a small "yes, sir!", he'd run off in the direction of the large tree nearby, where his father was still curled up in the shade.

  Akivili picked up the child who'd been curled at their side, making sure he stayed asleep. Luckily, the kid was always a heavy sleeper. The young boy snuggled close to their chest, seeking warmth, comforted by the flow of power just beneath their skin. Beside them, Jasmine took the hand of her other younger sister, and then they were off to rejoin the main group.

  A faint buzz took their attention, and Akivili used their free hand to check their phone.

  Best_Mom

   Hey, sorry for leaving you to entertain the kids today. Thanks for the help.

  TheTrailblaze

   It's fine, they were pretty well behaved.

  TheTrailblaze

   You still owe me that booze though

  She responded with a laughing emoji, which part of them wanted to make fun of her for. But the sticker was cute, so they didn't.

  Instead they slipped their phone back into their pocket, turning their gaze to watch the setting sun. The rays of light were comforting on their face.

  Akivili closed their eyes, and kept walking.

  Caelus opened his eyes, and he was back in the hotel room.

  March was curled on his chest instead of by his side, and he was now staring at the ceiling. The light streaking through the windows told him it was morning. He would've been content to stay like that even longer had his stomach not grumbled the second the thought entered his head.

  Okay .  .  . Guess sleeping in wasn't an option.

  He tried to maneuver out from under March, and though her grip was a force to be reckoned with, slipping a pillow into her arms worked to redirect her sleep hold. Satisfied that she wouldn't be waking up, he left as quietly as possible, not bothering to change considering how early it was. It felt too early to be alive, much less actually doing things.

  For a brief moment, Caelus entertained the thought of going to Welt's room, but when he knocked silence was all that answered. He didn't feel like going back for the room key, so he gave up on that and went downstairs to see if they served breakfast here.

  Downstairs, he found not only a breakfast table, but Welt, sitting and drinking .  .  . Something. He knew it wasn't coffee, given that all of the Nameless were basically traumatized by Himeko's brewing of it.

  Caelus grabbed a muffin baked full of blueberries. They were sweet, and juicy. All in all, a good start to breakfast.

  Just like the last time he woke up after a dream like that, he couldn't get the images out of his head. Akivili's body had been fluid, changing constantly. Somehow it felt wrong, that Caelus couldn't do the same. That he couldn't think, and have his body shift to match his whims.

  It felt like something was missing.

  He turned to Welt, figuring the man had been around longer than he had. Surely, Welt would know something.

  "Mr. Yang." Welt looked over, as if just now noticing Caelus was there. "So, I've been thinking lately. We follow in the Path Akivili used to walk, but do we actually know anything about them? Like- they liked mortals a lot. So were they human once or something, like Lan and Nanook?"

  Welt blinked, startled by the sudden questions so early in the morning. It was a topic that made sense for Caelus to ask about, but he still wasn't expecting the conversation to happen now.

  "Well .  .  ." He began, trying to word things simply for the time being. "It's entirely possible that they were once mortal. There's been some speculation over the years about their human identity, such as their name or family, but nobody has a concrete answer."

  Caelus hummed, thinking it over.

  The older man looked at him with an expression of interest and curiosity. "What's with the sudden questions? You've never asked before."

  He shrugged. "I'm just curious. Nobody ever talks about them." The actual reason was tied to the strange dreams he'd had twice now, but he didn't want to get into that just yet. "What did they look like? And why don't we keep any photos of them around the Express?"

  This question seemed to have a more complicated answer, considering how Welt hesitated. During that time Caelus managed to finish the entire top of his muffin. When Welt finally answered, he sounded uncertain.

  "There are many accounts of people meeting Akivili. Every person says something different about their appearance, from a woman with silver hair to a muscular young man. The general consensus is that Akivili, much like Aeons such as Aha, changed their form in front of mortals to better match those around. As for why we don't keep any pictures .  .  ."

  He went quiet, then cleared his throat, sounding beyond awkward. "We did, for a while. It .  .  . Made the conductor very upset. They avoided looking at the pictures, and when they did they'd .  .  . Cry. So we stopped keeping pictures of Akivili on the train, and by now we've lost track of most of them."

  Caelus felt a tug in his heart, a feeling of empathy for the conductor. Sometimes he forgot that Pom-Pom had been on the Express since the beginning. He wondered if that meant they'd been friends with Akivili.

  He had more questions, but from the way Welt had been talking, the guy probably knew just as much as he did. So, basically nothing.

  "Okay, thanks."

  He went back to eating his muffin, but not before remembering the first name he'd heard in those weird dreams. Whether they were real or not he had absolutely no idea, but the name stuck in his head anyway.

  "I feel like their human name might've been something like 'Irene', maybe."

  Welt took another sip of his drink. It must've been warm, because the steam fogged up his glasses. "Why Irene specifically?"

  Caelus shrugged, trying to keep a smile off his face. He didn't want Welt to think he knew something the others didn't, because he honestly didn't. 

  "Eh. Just a guess."

Chapter Text

  Gods, finally .  .  .

Caelus wiped his brow, though all he did was smear the sweat around, smiling with an utterly ashamed victory grin. He watched as Phantilya -more accurately, the body she'd created from the Arbor- fell, crumbling and returning to its source. There was a sense of satisfaction in seeing one of the Lord Ravagers be defeated, in seeing someone who'd caused so much pain experience even a sliver of it herself. 

  As he lifted his bag from the ground where it had fallen , he saw Dan Heng help Jing Yuan to stand, steadying the general as he swayed. 

  Good, good. They were both safe, and mostly unharmed from the looks of it.

  The dust and ash began to clear as they made their way back, returning to the relative safety of their companions. The walk was silent, but not unpleasant. They all had a lot to say, but none of it should have been said there and then.

  First to rush forward was March, practically sprinting over the minute they were in sight. Welt and Fu Xuan followed behind her, less enthusiastic but just as happy to see them safe. Welt took on the role of supporting the general, and right as he did, March leapt into action.

  She threw her arms around her boyfriends- both of them, which was something she hadn't been able to do in days. She squeezed remarkably tight for someone with such thin arms. Caelus returned the embrace without a thought, and Dan Heng hesitated before setting his hand on her upper back. Caelus looped one arm around his boyfriend's side, squeezing just as tight as March, and for a moment things were back to normal again. There was no danger, no secrets looming over their heads, no Stellaron hunters out to expose the sins of their past. There, in that little pocket of time, there was nothing but the three of them, hugging and trying not to cry, holding each other and refusing to let go ever again.

  And then, with a small noise of disgust, March let go.

  She stepped back, wiping dirt and grime away from where it had started to stain her shirt. "Eugh-! Ew, you guys are all gross!"

  "We were just in a battle, March." Dan Heng had a point, and she clearly knew that.

  "I know, I know." She glanced around, not missing the signs of destruction lingering from the fight with Phantilya. Caelus could practically see the light bulb as it went off in her head. "Oh, how about this? Me, Mr. Yang, and the cloud knights can clean up around here while you guys go take a bath or something."

  He and Dan Heng both shook their heads at the same time. "We should be helping, too. We can't just leave all of this for the cloud knights to clean."

  "Why not? It's their job, and we'll be helping too." March gestured between herself and Welt, who was in the process of passing Jing Yuan to one of the knights. March looked back to them and crossed her arms. "It'll be fine. You two need rest, and I wanna be able to hug you without smelling sweat."

  Her palms rested on their backs as she not so subtly pushed them in the direction of two cloud knights ready to escort them back. Dan Heng opened his mouth to protest, but was silenced by his girlfriend's stern expression. She'd made up her mind, and that meant there was no changing it. He sighed, gave her a kiss on the forehead, and relented.

  They made their way back to the mainland in relative silence, both too tired to say much now that the adrenaline of battle was wearing off. The cloud knights escorted them to the place they'd be staying, somewhere chosen by Jing Yuan personally. It was a nice-looking place, both externally and inside. A bit small, but nothing they couldn't work with.

  Caelus's first thought was to strip off his shirt, then go straight towards this place's bathroom. When Dan Heng didn't follow, he looked back with a smile. "Aren't you coming? You're just as dirty as I am." His boyfriend's cheeks flushed pink when he realized what he meant, but he followed Caelus regardless.

  "I thought we'd be bathing separately," he commented, staying near the door as Caelus turned on the water to just how he liked it. Absolutely, burning, boiling hot.

  "Why? We've seen each other naked plenty of times. This isn't any different." Caelus stripped his pants and then everything else, briefly feeling his boyfriend's gaze linger where it shouldn't. He paid no mind to this, and climbed into the bath, sinking into the scalding water with a happy sigh.

  "We have, but- never when I was in this form." Despite his arguments, Dan Heng stripped, though he did so with far less rush than Caelus.

  The Trailblazer shrugged, moving out of the way as Dan Heng slipped into the bath with him. The good thing about this bathroom was how large the bathtub was. It was large enough to fit them both comfortably, with even a little room left over. "I don't care what form you're in. You're still my boyfriend."

  Oh, he definitely cared. Really, what he'd meant was that he wasn't bothered by Dan Heng's Vidyadhara form. If anything, he'd actually wanted to see him naked in this form for a while, just because he was curious about the implications of his boyfriend being more draconic in nature. He wanted to know if that meant he had something like scales somewhere on his body. To Caelus's immense disappoinment, that didn't seem to be the case.

  He took the time to find a soap scent that seemed fitting, cucumber and green tea, then poured some into his palm. He stroked his fingers over his boyfriend's chest, scrubbing away layers of dirt, washing sin from years ago off his soul. Dan Heng began doing the same with a different scent, something involving raspberries.

  They cleansed each other of their wrongs and washed away the pain of secrecy, and in doing so left nothing but their raw selves behind.

  There was no much they both wanted to say, so many secrets that had been brought to light, so many promises that needed to be rebuilt and made better. Before, they'd been too swept up in the rush of pushing back Phantilya that there had been no time to even think. But now, here and now in there own pocket of time, they could say whatever they liked.

  Dan Heng broke the silence first, as he scrubbed shampoo into Caelus's silver hair. He sighed, stopped for a second or two, then continued with a whisper.

  "I'm .  .  . I'm sorry."

  Caelus tilted his head, wiping soap away from his eyes so that he could properly look at his partner. "Hm? For what?"

  "For keeping my past, and identity as a Vidyadhara, a secret for so long."

  Genuine guilt seeped through his every word. Guilt that Caelus didn't understand. "Everyone on the Express has secrets. Even I do." Kafka and Blade's appearance on the Luofu made it abundantly obvious that there were many secrets in Caelus's past, even if he wasn't sure of what they were himself. "It's okay to have secrets, you know. I'm just glad that I know now."

  Dan Heng was silent for a while, washing away a particularly stubborn patch of dried blood off of his leg as Caelus washed the soap out of his hair. When he spoke again, it was with no less guilt and regret. 

  "For a long time, I didn't remember who I had been. All I knew was my name, my spear, and the fact that I was running away from something. I joined the Nameless hoping that I could figure things out, or at least get far enough to stop running." He sighed, stroking his fingers over his boyfriend's skin absently, like he hadn't noticed. "And yet despite all my efforts, I ended up right back where I was trying to get away from. I abandoned this place, and this form, a long time ago. I never should have returned to either of them."

  The guilt melded sigh frustration, twisting together into every breath. Caelus hated seeing his boyfriend so upset, and he rather disagreed with the idea that he shouldn't embrace this part of himself. He reached out, up, fingers brushing over Dan Heng's hair and then going further. He clasped his hands around the horns on Dan Heng's head. They are the most obvious Vidyadhara feature, and the one Caelus had seen him act most uncomfortable about.

  He kept his grip gentle yet firm, using his thumb to feel over the various bits of texture. The horns were mostly smooth, but there were some ridges that spiraled around the bases, and a slightly chipped part of the right horn's tip. They felt good to hold, his hands fitting perfectly, as if they were made to be held by somebody's loving palm.

  "I know it won't make things better," he said after his appreciation was done, returning to his original position, "but you look beautiful like this."

  They returned to silence, except this time it wasn't the same as before. It was softer, more content. Somehow, Caelus got the feeling that while the words hadn't been exactly what he needed right now, they had definitely helped. He relaxed against the solid, comforting warmth of Dan Heng's chest, already feeling himself slip into sleep. Dan Heng spoke before he could fully drift off.

  "Caelus." He let out a quiet hum, to make sure his boyfriend knew he was listening. "Are you alright? You've been acting odd lately. You seem like you've been thinking about something."

  Well, he wasn't wrong. Caelus had been wrapped up in thought for most of the day. He'd mostly been trying to decipher the meaning behind the strange dreams he'd been having. There had to be some kind of meaning behind it, he just didn't know what. He debated whether or not to tell his boyfriend, but they'd already laid out everything else. There was no point in clinging to secrecy.

  "I've been having really weird dreams for a while. About somebody else's life. They've only happened twice, but they were both really realistic."

  Dan Heng thought for a moment, then two. Clearly, he was just as stumped as Caelus was. But even with such little information and knowledge, he offered an explanation. "It might be due to stress. Many people have strange dreams when they're stressed."

  "Maybe." Caelus yawned, sinking deeper into the sleepy warmth, letting his boyfriend's comfort soothe him and settle his troubles. "I dunno, it's just .  .  ."

  He closed his eyes for a second too long, and was out.

  He blinked himself awake to a significant lack of warmth or water, and the sight of the Express's walls. He paused, flicked his gaze around, staring at unfamiliar faces and people he'd never met. His head tilted to the side, and he became aware of a current of power just below his skin. This, was something he recognized. It didn't take nearly as long for him to figure out what was happening this time.

  Laughter surrounded him in almost every direction. Music played from somewhere he couldn't see, although Caelus hardly noticed, his attention elsewhere.

  More senses trickled back to him, and he became aware that Akivili was holding something. A glass, cold in their always-warm hands. They tilted their head to look down at it, and he got to see what was inside. It was about half-full with a sparkling, swirling liquid, dark enough that he could see the reflection of their face.

  Tonight, Akivili was a woman with freckle-spotted skin, dark spots making constellations on peachy skin. Vivid ginger curls bounced and framed their face, drifting over their right eye, covering the pinkish-purple iris. Akivili was frowning as they gazed upon their face, something Caelus hadn't seen them do before.

  They swished the liquid in the glass, and the image of their reflection disappeared. Before it could settle again, they tipped back their head, bringing the cup to their lips and downing the rest of it in a single gulp. It was slightly fruity in taste, with an obvious aftertaste of something nutty. There was even a hint of what Caelus assumed good coffee tasted like.

  As they reached for the bottle on the table to refill their glass, a hand rested itself on their shoulder. It only startled the Aeon for a moment, and they calmed once they saw who it was. A man took the seat beside them, zir hand gently squeezing zir God's shoulder. Zie was smiling in the way everyone did around Akivili, though it was tinged with the faintest hint of concern.

  "There you are! I was starting to think you'd ran off somewhere to have fun without us." They didn't seem all that impressed with the joke, but didn't say anything about it.

  Zie continued, trying to stay casual even when it was obvious that zie was worried for zir Aeon. "What're you doing all alone? Usually you love parties like these. Is something up?" The man didn't bother trying to hide zir concern that time. 

  Akivili sighed, refilling their glass and promptly drinking almost all of it. "Nothing's wrong. I've just .  .  . Been thinking about something lately."

  Zie hummed, unconvinced yet nodding along regardless. "Is it something to do with Adlivun?" The mention of the destroyed star system had Akivili downing another glass, which was an answer just by itself. It had been three hundred yards since the destruction of that place, and yet Akivili had never stopped thinking about it. And usually, when they thought of Adlivun, they thought of one particular person.

 ".  .  . I guess so, yeah. I mean- it's not really about the place itself, but-" They paused to take another drink, this one straight from the bottle. "It's about this person I know. I'm .  .  . I'm just worried because they- I know they didn't care about the planet but it was still their home. I'd be a terrible friend if I didn't at least check on them, right?"

  Although Akivili didn't mention who they were talking about, zie wasn't stupid. Zie knew who they meant without needing a name; any of the Nameless would be able to do the same. "Are you even their friend?"

  The God threw a hand up in exasperation, groaning. "I don't know! Maybe? They don't hate me, at least, which might be as close as I'm gonna get." They shook their head and downed the rest of the bottle in their hands, wiping their mouth of the excess.

  Before anyone could get another word in, Akivili stood, and their hair grew a few inches when they did. The patterns of their freckles shifted. "I'm gonna take a breather for a while. I'll be back." Seeing zir expression of worry, they tried to put on their regular smile. "Don't worry, I'll be fine. I'm still an Aeon, you know."

  Zie nodded, and so they left the party behind, slipping into a different part of the train. Nobody seemed to notice them do this, and if anyone did they said nothing. Caelus took a moment to see what TB Express used to look like as they walked around. Things weren't really that different, which on some level was comforting to know. There were different decorations and pictures on the walls, including actual images of Akivili standing among the Nameless. He wondered what happened to those photos, and whether he could get his hands on one eventually.

  The further they went, the quieter things got as the party got further away. At first Caelus was confused, wondering where they were walking towards, but when their hand pushed open a particular door, he understood. That door blocked off the very back of the Express from everything else, ensuring that if someone opened the doors everything wouldn't get sucked into space.

  Akivili pushed open the doors and tumbled rather uncerimoniously into the vast abyss of space. The stars still welcomed them, as they always had and always would. They curled into themself and floated absently for a few seconds, enjoying the empty presence of the great cosmos, allowing starlight to bleach their hair silver-white. Their body grew, expanding as they released the restraints of their power and let it do as it pleased. It flowed through and beyond them, illuminating the galaxy with a stellar glow.

  Akivili returned to the form they took first, the form they'd settled on during their ascension, when enlightenment took hold of their very soul. Their body shifted to match their thoughts, and though it was not perfect, it was enough. They did not, and would never, need perfection.

  They righted themself when the transformation was complete, floating upright amidst the stars, and looked back to watch the Astral Express as it continues its endless voyage, becoming nothing but a streak of gold through the inky black. Perhaps it should have bothered them, to see their greatest creation vanish from view without them aboard, but it didn't. The turned their sights away from the gold and towards the rest of space. Akivili took one step, then another, then another. Silver tracks built themselves from the remnants of cosmic power under their feet. Though it had been many years since they'd traveled without the help of their train, it was still as easy as breathing.

  Somewhere across the galaxy, another world succumbed to destruction, blasting apart in the explosion that was its destiny. Aeonic power seeped out from the event, and a single trace of it reached Akivili. A single trace was all they needed to recognize where it had come from, and their eyes lit up.

  Perfect timing.

  They did not call out into the abyss, seeing no point in words. A pulse of power coursed through the stars in place of a voice, a question -a request- laced within.

  The question was answered, the request granted, by a rush of golden flame and stardust. Nanook reformed at their side, just as Akivili had known they would.

  They opened their mouth to greet them, but Nanook took the opportunity before they got the chance. The white cloth around their hips shifted and swirled in wind that was not there. The movement jostled a nearby planet, and it crumbled from the inside, breaking apart with an explosion neither of them felt. They sounded nothing short of annoyed, and their expression was anything but kind. But that was how Nanook always was, and how they had been from the beginning, so Akivili did not bother being offended.

  Nanook's voice was more of an impression than anything like a sound. Their voice was the clanging of swords, gunshots fired into the bodies of the innocent and guilty alike, the first spark of a wildfire, and the desperate screams of those damned to destruction. Their voice was raw, an echoing dread, a threat to rip the universe apart at the very seams. These things came together to form words, made a mockery of human speech as two Gods attempted to communicate in the primitive way mortals do. Nanook did not open their mouth when they spoke. Perhaps they simply didn't want to. Or perhaps the foundations of reality could not handle such a sound, the sound of Destruction itself speaking words into existence.

  "What, Akivili? What do you want?"

  They laughed, unbothered by the other's instant aggression. Really, they'd expect nothing less from The Destruction. Akivili kept themself kinder, softer, hoping to smooth out Nanook's sharper edges. Even still, their voice carried an undertone of caution. They may often be reckless, and very impulsive, but even they knew how strong Nanook was if provoked. Strong enough to kill them, certainly.

  "C'mon, don't be like that. Is it a crime to just want your company? We're friends, aren't we?"

  "No."

  Despite saying so, they didn't push Akivili away when the Aeon got closer, close enough that they could reach out and touch their skin. Nobody else had gotten that close to Nanook before. Anything else, God or mortal, would have been obliterated the second the thought even came into being. But Akivili got closer, and Nanook did not stop them.

  Caelus took the opportunity to really, truly, look at Nanook. It was a strange, unnerving sensation, being so close to something once so distant and unreachable. When he'd caught the glance of The Destruction, the Aeon had been so large that their palm could have blocked out the sunlight, and they'd radiated death in every sense. He'd been equal parts terrified and utterly awed, then. But here, and now, he was able to look them in the eyes without trouble, without fear of brutal death.

  There was a rough sort of beauty about them, he supposed. A dangerous kind, beautiful in the way a forest fire is, in the way Stellarons make people believe they are. Were he entirely himself, Caelus would have attributed these thoughts to the Stellaron resting in his chest. After all, Stellarons are the creations of Nanook, and why would creation not wish to adore creator? But Caelus was not himself, and this body did not have a Stellaron inside, and these thoughts were not entirely his own. If anything, they were more Akivili's than his.

  They did not move any closer to their fellow Aeon, which was probably for their own benefit. Instead, they watched a stream of stardust float by, smiling as it got caught in the natural orbit that surrounded them both. They dipped their fingers into the stream, watching shades of purple and blue curl a new path around their hand.

  "You know," they began at last, when it became clear that Nanook might just leave if they didn't say something. "It's been exactly three hundred years since your ascension, and the destruction of Adlivun." Nanook didn't speak, one of their messy braids flicking over their shoulder. "I wonder, sometimes. Whether you miss that place, on days like these."

  Their answer was quick, and it was simple. Not because they wanted this conversation to end quicker, though they likely did, but because there was nothing else to be said about the matter at all.

  "No."

  "Can I ask why?" They were fairly certain that they knew the answer, but there was never any harm in asking.

  Nanook sighed, crossing their arms over their chest. They looked like they absolutely didn't want to talk about this, but they likely knew that Akivili wouldn't stop asking until they gave an answer. "I have no reason to miss a place so miserable and worthless. It caused me nothing but frustration." They paused, seemed to think about something, then continued in a different angle. "From how much you talk about it being 'insanity-inducing', I'd say you have a similar relationship with Pegana."

  Akivili blinked, their thoughts briefly grinding to a halt. They weren't sure quite what to say to that. Because while it was a fair assumption to make, it wasn't right at all.

  "Well .  .  . It's not that I despise my home world. I do still love Pegana, even if it drove me insane at times when I was mortal. I just have things I care about more now, and I have a purpose greater than that isolated world."

  Nanook watched them with the same expression as ever, so there was no telling what they were thinking. They didn't seem to understand, but Akivili wasn't expecting them to. The Destruction turned their gaze to the still-glowing rail track the Express had been traveling upon. Until not too long ago, that travel has included Akivili. And yet here they were now, far away from the train they adored so dearly.

  "A greater purpose, hm? You mean that train you ride? It's not here. Are you not worried about being left behind?"

  Akivili just smiled, shaking their head as if it was silly to even ask.

  "The Astral Express is my greatest creation. I poured my soul into that train, and the tracks it builds are forged by my own Trailblazing will. It's connected to me in a way that nothing else is, in a way that nothing else will ever be. And I know that no matter how much time passes, no matter how many years go by, it will come back to me. And besides." They smiled again, their expression brightening in that sweet way that only the Nameless were ever around to see. "The Nameless aren't keen on abandoning me, either."

  "You don't know that," Nanook argued, unable to see past the veil of their own philosophy.

  "I do. I know because I trust them, and that's all the reassurance I need. My Nameless have placed all their trust, love, and happiness in my hands, and I have placed mine in theirs. I will never abandon them. And they will never leave me behind. That is the nature of love, and of relationships."

  Nanook's frown deepened, which was not saying much considering their usual expression. They didn't argue, knowing the pointless nature of trying to argue with Akivili about their followers. It wasn't clear why they were upset, but it may have had something to do with the way Akivili takes about the Nameless.

  Akivili spoke of the Nameless with a boundless, infinite love. There was a sort of softness in their eyes as they gazed upon the galaxy around them, a deep adoration for the mortals that followed their journey glistening in their golden irises. They spoke of the Nameless like one would speak of their family, of their lifelong companions and friends. Akivili was more relaxed than Nanook had ever seen them, floating in the abyss, spinning a star in circles around their index finger. They spoke of the Nameless as if these mortals were the greatest creatures in the universe, as if they had never known anything more precious.

  "You care for them quite a bit." Nanook tried to copy Akivili as they played with a newborn star. It crumbled the second their hand got close.

  Akivili wasn't looking at them anymore as they talked, not that they needed to. Had they wished, they could have said nothing at all, and would have gotten the point across just as well. "I do, I do. I care for my Nameless more than anything, even myself. I love them, Nanook, though I suppose I can't expect you to know anything about love." There was no judgement in their tone, no malice or malevolent intent. Their words were not ones meant to hurt. They were nothing but truth, a simple fact of the other's existence.

  An Aeon born of hate could know no love.

  The Trailblaze shifted their molten, golden gaze to Nanook, and there was something strange in their eyes. "I care about you as well, you know."

  They crossed their arms and looked away, their hair swishing into their face. "I fail to see why." Akivili sighed, their expression a mix of frustration, gentle amusement, and something neither of them recognized. 

  "Does there have to be a reason? Can't I just care, without needing a reason for it? Can't I just love you without needing to know why?" They adjusted the sleeves of their shirt, pulling them back down where they'd rolled up. "There doesn't have to be a reason for everything in the universe. Only Nous would think so, and they're a computer."

  Nanook didn't ask them to elaborate on what kind of love they were talking about. In truth, there was no answer. The kind of love Akivili gave was not one that could be labeled or put into a box. It was not the kind of love that was explainable by words alone, not the kind that many could even begin to comprehend. After all, how does one understand the way a God loves without being a God themself? Perhaps only an Aeon would understand the love another Aeon could give.

  Perhaps that was why Nanook did not ask for Akivili to explain. Perhaps that was why the only thing they did was allow Akivili to curl their arms around Nanook's larger -and warmer- body, regardless of the danger of embracing Destruction, regardless of the molten liquid constantly dripping from the wound in the Aeon's chest.

  Perhaps that was why they placed one hand on Akivili's back, and threaded their fingers through silver hair without a word. Akivili closed their eyes, and sunk into the other's warmth, forgetting their troubles for a few hours of rest.

  Caelus opened his eyes, and was immediately aware of something soft underneath him. He curled his fingers into the material, recognizing it as a blanket. He .  .  . didn't remember going to bed before falling asleep.

  The faint echoes of an embrace, of strong arm around him, of two beings beyond humanity holding each other in the way humans do, tingled across his skin. He could almost feel Nanook's arms, could imagine every bit of the searing heat of their skin. Some part of him, a part he didn't know existed until right now, missed the cosmic embrace.

  He sat up, stretching one of his arms, still shirtless but now wearing pants. Caelus gave a brief glance around, trying to see if he recognized his surroundings. The room wasn't inherently familiar, but the person who walked through the open door was.

  Dan Heng blinked upon seeing Caelus awake, and then smiled in the soft way he always did. "Oh, you're up. I was starting to wonder if I should wake you up myself." He tossed Caelus one of his shirts, and the other put it on without much thought. "You were muttering in your sleep, you know. Were you having one of the dreams you talked about?"

  Caelus shrugged, feeling a bit guilty that while he'd told Dan Heng about the dreams themselves, he hadn't said anything about the subject of them. He figured that since they'd both divulged so many secrets already, it couldn't hurt to tell one more.

  "I did, yeah. And I found out whose life I've been dreaming about." His boyfriend hummed, a quiet display of his curiosity. "For the past few weeks, I've been dreaming of .  .  . Akivili." He'd technically known this fact since the beginning, but the specifics didn't really matter.

  "What's happening in these dreams, exactly? What are you seeing?"

  There was a pause, as Caelus debated just how much he should tell. He settled for the most basic information, and nothing more. "I'm just .  .  . Watching them do things, like talk with the Nameless and stuff."

  Dan Heng went quiet, his face showing the expression he always made when thinking particularly hard. "I'm not really sure why this would be happening, but .  .  . Akivili is very mysterious, and none of us know a lot about them. Those dreams might be your brain's way of trying to fill in the gaps in your knowledge." He sounded hesitant, uncertain, and Caelus himself wasn't all that convinced by that explanation. But it wasn't like either of them had any better solutions, not ones that would make sense anyway.

  "I guess that makes sense. Either way, they're just dreams, so I guess it doesn't matter."

  It was his way of trying to set the topic aside, and luckily his boyfriend picked up on what he meant, so he didn't push it further. Caelus's gaze flicked around for something to distract himself with, settling on Dan Heng. More specifically, his hair. It was longer in this form, long enough to get tangled and messy. It wasn't the worst thing he'd seen, but it definitely looked in need of a good brushing.

  "Hey, c'mere. Let me brush your hair." Dan Heng tilted his head, recognizing what Caelus was doing, and knowing that he was trying to avoid thinking about something that confused him. But he didn't argue.

  They ended up with Dan Heng sitting in front of the bed, Caelus having shifted to the edge of the mattress. He took a chunk of the other's hair into his hand, and began working at the small tangles that had formed during battle. It was remarkably easy, even with how difficult some of them looked.

  But for as peaceful as this moment was, something wasn't .  .  . Right. Dan Heng's silence was a common thing, but it was never this thick, this uncomfortable. Caelus couldn't stand it, and he also wanted to know what was wrong.

  He ran his brush through another strip of sleek hair. "What're you thinking about down there? Hope it's just how much you love me and not anything bad." His words were meant to lighten the mood, but they were met with a much deeper response.

  ".  .  . I don't understand how you can stay with me, even knowing that I lied. I know you said you forgive me, but .  .  . I lied for a long time, to everyone." He sighed, his fingers twitching, a familiar anxious habit. "I don't understand the reason .  .  . Why you still love me after all of this."

  He wanted to be surprised by Dan Heng's confession, but he really wasn't. His boyfriend had clearly been anxious about this for a while and it hadn't been hard to tell. Caelus had known he'd say something like this eventually, and he didn't have to think long about his own response. His thoughts flashed back to Akivili and their words on love. They had been speaking of love on a grand, celestial scale, but the philosophy was the same regardless of who was saying it. The words resonated in him, somewhere in his heart and soul, and so he spoke them aloud. It felt more powerful than anything he might have come up with alone. In some ways, it was like he was emulating the Aeon, mirroring their undying adoration and directing it towards his own beloved. 

  "There doesn't need to be a reason. I love you, Dan Heng. There's no reason for that, and there doesn't have to be. I just love you, and March does too. Isn't that enough?"

  Dan Heng went quiet again, and as Caelus finished the last of the brushing, the man sniffled quietly, like he was trying not to be heard. It wasn't working very well.

  His shoulders shook, and from that alone, Caelus could tell he had started crying. He smiled, the expression on his face softer than it has ever been, more loving than he had looked at anything else other than March 7th, and he tilted his boyfriend's face up with his free hand. He set down the brush somewhere off to the side, leaning down and kissing one of the watery tracks on Dan Heng's cheek. Another tear slipped from the other's eyes, and Caelus kissed that one away too.

  He sat there until the tears slowed to a stop, gave one last kiss right on his boyfriend's lips, then sat back up.

  "C'mon, I know what'll make you feel better. Let's go find March, and the three of us will finally go on a proper date together."

  It was obvious that he was using this as a way to distract them both from their troubles for a few hours, and they knew that. But neither of them cared. Dan Heng smiled, and while it wasn't an entirely genuine look of happiness, it was the best that he could manage at the moment. And it was enough. Anything was enough. They both pulled themselves to their feet.

  Caelus took hold of his boyfriend's hand, and for the first time, was the one to guide him outside.

Chapter Text

  Now that things had settled, and all was well, the Luofu had returned back to silence, sinking back into peace.

  "Haha! I know, who would even think of that?"

  Well .  .  . All except for one place. A small, hotel-like building where rooms were available to rent for the night. These rooms could be used for anything, and nobody would comment or judge.

  Tonight, the third room on the second floor was being used to give three trailblazers a place to rest after a night of fun.

  Caelus entered the room first, his partners following behind. March had wrapped her arm around Dan Heng's arm during the walk, making it much harder to walk for both of them. Though from the way they were laughing, Caelus doubted they minded much.

  "On that topic, I do wonder who was the first person to create paper, and why?"

  Dan Heng slid his arms out of the jacket he was wearing as March let go. Neither of them really remembered why they were talking about paper, but somehow they were.

  March was in the process of taking off her makeup when she thought of an answer. "Oh, maybe they ran out of paper, so they had to make more!"

  "If they were the first person to make paper, how would they have run out of it?"

  She shrugged, taking off her earrings and setting them down. That was as far as she got before her giggles broke through, and she covered her mouth with her hand. Her boyfriend shook his head, but laughed along with her. Their smile were bright, carefree, like this was the greatest moment they'd ever get.

  Caelus listened to their conversation with a similarly happy smile, stripping off his jacket and fancy shoes. It had seemed like a good idea at first, but he was very much regretting dressing nicer tonight. He was never going out to a fancy restaurant again if it meant wearing these.

  He hummed a song as he untied the intricate laces of his right shoe. It wasn't a song he knew the name of, which was strange considering how often it was playing on the Express. Maybe that was because he always fell asleep listening to it. Something about the slower melody, the softer tone of voice, always made him drowsy.

  Despite the fact that he was never awake to listen to the full song, the lyrics appeared in his head as if they'd always been there. With these lyrics came the thought of someone singing them. The voice that came to mind first was smooth and pleasant, melodious on its own but almost ethereal now. 

  Akivili's voice.

  He paused, but the music had stopped, the song coming to an end. Strange, though .  .  . He didn't remember ever hearing Akivili sing that song, or sing at all for that matter.

  Across the room, March unzipped the back of her dress, throwing it to the floor without caring where it landed. He looked over just in time to see her pull the patterned pajamas she'd bought out of her bag. They were pastel pink, patterned with various symbols -like flowers- all in pastel colors. He snorted, taking his socks off and tossing them to the floor.

  "Wow, March. Didn't know you were five."

  Stepping into the fluffy pants, she stuck her tongue out at him, throwing a spare shirt at his face for good measure. It hit the target, and he laughed while preparing an attack of his own. 

  He grabbed his jacket, pulled his arm back, and launched the ball of fabric right at her. It hit right in the center of her chest before dropping. She gasped, putting her hand over the impact spot like he'd genuinely wounded her, then burst out laughing again. 

  Thus concluded the epic battle of their clothing war, with a draw bringing the war to a close.

  "You two are absolutely ridiculous," their boyfriend chuckled, not a single trace of disappointment in his voice. He was already undressed, back in his normal clothes for the night. 

  "But you looooove us," Caelus teased as he climbed into the large bed the room offered. He fluffed up one of the pillows, sinking into the warm blankets. March giggled to herself as she joined them, and Dan Heng did not deny Caelus's claim.

  It took a bit of rearranging, but with enough shifting and changing places, they ended up exactly how they wanted.

  Caelus curled up in the middle of the bed, with March on his right and Dan Heng bordering the left. It was their favorite way to sleep whenever they were all together, as it meant they could both hold Caelus close, and he could feel their comfort equally.

  March swung one of her arms over Caelus, trying to reach for her other boyfriend so they could cuddle at least a little bit. Her arm was long enough that she could rest her fingertips on his face, and she very deliberately pressed on his nose. He smiled, reaching up to pull her hand back down. Their fingers wound up tangling together, and neither of them bothered to pull away.

  Snuggling closer into the plush blanket covering them, Caelus fought back sleep so that he could savor this moment a bit longer. "I love you," he muttered, drowsiness making his words slower. "Both of you."

  "Aww! We love you too, Caelus." There was barely a pause between this and her next declaration of love. "And you, Dan Heng, don't think I forgot!"

  March had always been careful to ensure she included Dan Heng whenever talking about love, because she knew him enough to know he wouldn't say anything himself. Not because he didn't love them, but because his version of love had always been quieter, more subtle. Words of affirmation was something he'd struggled with since the days where it was just the two of them, without Caelus. She knew he struggled, and so she made sure to tell him at least once a day.

  This behavior of hers was something Caelus had thought was sweet, and it was part of what attracted him to her in the first place.

  Caelus stroked his fingers over the back of March's hand, not really thinking about it. His thoughts wandered to the idea of having to separate from his partners on the next planet, and he recoiled from the very idea.

  "I don't ever want to be apart from you two again .  .  . Let's make sure the next adventure has all three of us."

  His partners made tired, mumbled noises of agreement, both of them clinging a bit tighter. It might've been a little silly, but all the three of them wanted to do was lay there and cuddle, holding each other and being safe, no longer worrying about the dangers of the world outside the door. They could confront their lingering problems in the morning. Tonight, nothing mattered but them.

  March snuggled closer to Caelus, pressing her face into his shoulder, brought closer to sleep by the warmth of his skin. The blankets were also nice, sure, but nothing could comfort her the way her boyfriends could.

  "I'm kinda sad that we have to leave," she mumbled, only just awake enough to talk. "The Luofu is a nice place, it's fun."

  Dan Heng tightened his grip on her hand, though he kept his touch gentle. "We can always come back, you know. I might not join you next time, though."

  She sighed, and Caelus could feel every bit of her disappointment. There wasn't much, not really. Just a hint of sadness, more than anything. "Yeah, but .  .  . I dunno, it's just always a little sad when we finish Trailblaze missions."

  He nodded, not entirely agreeing but sympathetic towards her views. Dan Heng opened his mouth to continue the discussion, only to find himself cut off by a sleepy grumble.

  "Mmmm .  .  . Be quiet, you two. I wanna get some sleep before we have to pack up in the morning."

  Having to pack up and leave after making so many friends didn't sound any less unpleasant than it had been when they'd left Jarilo-VI, but that was just part of life as a Nameless. Besides, even if it hurt to leave others behind, at least he had their phone numbers.

  His partners smiled, but it wasn't like their usual smiles. There was something distinctly bittersweet about both of their expressions. Caelus remembered March telling him how it eventually got easier to leave places once you do it enough.

  Somehow, he got the feeling that wasn't the case.

  They said nothing more, each of them aware that they needed as much rest as they could get. They'd have to get up early once morning hit, to prepare for departure. 

  Caelus closed his eyes, falling asleep held tight by the two people he loved most, all of them safe under the moonlight.

  He opened his eyes to the same dim lighting that had been there when he fell asleep. That was about the only thing that stayed the same, as everything else was an entirely unfamiliar sight.

  Caelus looked around as much as he was able, gaze drifting between glowing screens and maps scattered around. There were maps to places Caelus had never heard of, directions and notes scribbled in the corners of the paper. It was immediately clear that he was on the Express, although this wasn't a room he recognized. The answer to where he was didn't come from his own memory, but the person he was spectating the world through.

  Their thoughts became his own, and it was such a strange feeling. Not because it felt unnatural, but because it didn't. Akivili's memory melded with his own, and for the briefest of flashes, their minds acted as one. In the second that this happened, Caelus felt more at peace in this body than he ever had before, and the world clicked together as it was always supposed to. A millisecond passed. The world broke apart again, their minds disconnecting like puzzle pieces taken out of place.

  The next time Caelus swept his gaze over the room, there was more intent behind it, and he understood where he was.

  The conductor's car at the front of the train, where Pom-Pom set the direction of their journey through the universe. He'd never been inside this room before, but it looked about how he'd expected it to. There was just one thing missing.

  Pom-Pom was nowhere to be seen, not even under the table or by the maps. Sure, Caelus knew they spent most of their time in the parlor car with the rest of the Nameless, but some part of him had expected to turn and see them in the reflection of the window.

  Instead, when he tilted his head towards the screens glowing nearby, he found nothing but Akivili staring back at him.

  Their form tonight was a new one, the visage of q young man with dark brown skin and thickly braided hair. Sharp blue eyes, rimmed with a ring of green, almost glowed in the dim lights. 

  They reached out, pressing against one of the glowing screens in the center of the room. It registered their touch with a small message of welcome, lighting a hologram in front of them. A map, different from the many others around. This one was larger, grander, a view of the entire galaxy before their eyes.

  With the expertise of someone who's done this a thousand times, Akivili swiped their fingers across the map, zooming in once they'd selected their target. Their eyes scrutinized the planet that appeared, reading over the database's available information about it.

  'Andreas-XVII, a planet known both for its lush rainforests and the annual summer festivals. A peaceful planet with very little involvement in galactic wars. Very accepting of outside visitors.'

The image of the planet, covered in greenery and brimming with life, made Caelus think of Yaoshi. This looked like a place The Abundance would have blessed, though it was hard to explain why he knew so certainly.

  Akivili thought the same, if their thoughts were any indication. Good. Yaoshi will keep them safe, or at least won't harm anyone. Selection complete, they tapped a few more buttons, setting course for Andreas-XVII. Caelus didn't know where their previous destination had been, but he doubted it was anywhere close to this new planet.

  Odd. He hadn't expected Akivili to be the type to change the direction of their adventure so drastically. Then again, they were an Aeon, a celestial creature beyond human understanding. So he supposed it made sense that he might not understand.

  Job complete, they glanced out the front window, walking forward to lean against it. They watched stars and planets pass by, blissfully unaware of the Nameless and their journey through the stars. Some of the planets were close enough that to them, the grand figure of the Astral Express looked like nothing but a shooting star; a single streak of gold in the sky. Deep in their soul, the eternal pull to join them, to return to the galaxy and become one with all things, tugged on the threads of their being.

  That pull had always been there, since the days of their mortality. They were no stranger to it, and even welcomed the cosmos into their heart. Their eyes unfocused, staring not just at the world but beyond it. Through it, to something perhaps only they could see.

  Tonight, there was something else, something beyond their love of starlight, pulling them towards what existed outside the train's walls. A guiding hand pushed gently on the back of their soul, pushing them towards where they were always meant to go. It pulled a string right, fate's grip loose yet constricting all the same. It was not an order, not a command, but a simple truth of inevitability. Akivili felt this, considered -knew- what it meant, and made their decision.

  Caelus felt it just as they did, and somewhere within himself, understood that he was being guided in the same way Akivili was.

  The door opened. The silence was split apart with a mechanical hiss. With a swipe of their hand, the hologram disappeared, dispersing back into the light it had always been. They turned to see who came in, finding themself face-to-face with the one person they'd been hoping to avoid running into.

  There stood Pom-Pom, waddling inside and stretching up to close the door again. As the conductor put aside what looked like a glass of water, Akivili leaned back against one of the control panels, careful not to activate anything. The sound of their movement startled the other, and they swiveled around to look at what had made the noise.

  Their gazes locked, a question in one, no answer in the other. Pom-Pom put their hands on their hips, masking surprise with a playful smile.

  "Lord Trailblaze, there you are," the conductor said, trying to sound like they'd expected to meet Akivili here. "Everyone's been looking for you for days now; you're making the Nameless worried!" The scolding didn't get much of a response, and Akivili could offer nothing but a smile as an apology. It was not enough. Nothing would ever be.

  "I know, I'm sorry." They rubbed the back of their neck, gaze flicking to the floor before settling on Pom-Pom again. "I just .  .  . Had some very important business to take care of."

  The actual truth was that they'd been locked in their room for the past twenty days, doing nothing but watching the stars, delaying the inevitable, and coming to an understanding with existence. Pom-Pom didn't need to know that, though. They'd just scold them more.

  Probably unconvinced, yet knowing Akivili wouldn't talk about it, Pom-Pom let the subject drop. They busied themself with checking the navigation devices and such that were scattered throughout the room. They trusted in the Express's security, but it was always better to check it just in case. Akivili watched, eyes tired and vision unfocusing. They did not say a word. They did not need to. 

  Pom-Pom circled the room, checking every device for any tampering. They ended on the holographic map at the center of the room, the map that had been created specifically for their journey through the stars. They pulled up the image, and went still. The destination had been changed, when Pom-Pom knew for a fact they hadn't switched it. Their head turned towards Akivili, searching for an explanation from the one person who had never denied them one before.

  Even now, they did not.

  "There's been a change of plans." The Trailblaze sighed. "I .  .  . I will be going somewhere soon, somewhere the Nameless can't follow me. I want everyone to be safe, so I changed course to a more peaceful planet."

  The conductor tilted their head, expression morphing from curiosity to slight concern. Akivili rarely went anywhere the Nameless couldn't also go. They adored their followers too much to leave them behind. "Where are you going?" They wiped dust off the wall as they talked. Akivili did not look at them.

  "Somewhere nobody has gone before. A place not even we have explored."

  Pom-Pom frowned, trying not to be negative- and failing. They wanted to trust their God, but there was something in Akivili -their expression or the look in their eyes- that made them think something wasn't right about this.

  "Somewhere the Nameless can't follow? You're not making sense, Akivili. We're all worried about you, so just talk to us about what you're doing."

  The Aeon sighed, tilting their head down so that their gaze naturally fell to the floor. Looking at the floor was easier than meeting the eyes of their companion. Their hair shifted in a breeze that didn't exist, braids falling apart into loosely coiled curls.

  "I'm going to conquer the Unknowable, Pom-Pom. I'm going beyond the Celestial Comet Wall."

  Silence. Pom-Pom went entirely silent, staring at them with wide eyes and a confused expression. The words they'd been planning on saying went unused as Akivili's statement sunk in. The Aeon turned to the door and walked out, the conductor hot on their heels.

  "W-what-? You can't do that!"

  "I can, and I will." The words might have sounded powerful in any other situation, coming from any other mouth. But there was no power in them tonight. Only understanding, a resignation of sorts woven in alongside it. "I have to."

  They made quick strides through the halls of their train, not bothering to lower their volume. They weren't speaking that loud, anyway. It was late, though time is relative in the vastness of space, and not many would be awake at such an hour. Those that were kept to their rooms, and knew better than to investigate every noise from the halls.

  "Why?!" Pom-Pom shouted, louder than they'd been in a while. "Why do you have to go there?! Nobody's come back from beyond the wall, nobody!"

  It had been years since they'd heard Pom-Pom sound so upset, and even longer since that anger was directed towards Akivili themself. I deserve that anger, they thought, turning a corner. I have no right to be upset by it. Their thoughts were accurate, if harsh, and Caelus could feel the sharp guilt that spiked in both of their chests. Gritting their teeth against the regret, Akivili dug their nails into their palm, and held firm in their resolve.

  They pushed open a door to a place Caelus recognized. It was the same place they'd been last time he'd dreamed of the Aeon, a sealed off area of the Express where it was possible to walk out into space at any time. Though he knew about how to get in and open the doors, Caelus had never tried. Some part of him wanted to feel the cosmos against his skin, to float freely among the stars and be at peace with the world. He tried his best to think of this urge as nothing but a byproduct of these dreams.

  (Try as he might, it never went away.)

  Pom-Pom followed them inside, anger and confusion and hurt all fighting for control of their usually softer face.

  "I know." Akivili slid off their jacket, tossing it to the floor. "I know. But beyond that wall is the one thing I was made to discover. I have to know what's behind those bricks. Whatever is there, that's the 'Unknowable' that all of us on this Express swore never to bow to." Their body shifted, golden rings turning silver, blue eyes going red. "If I can't discover the truth of it, is there any point in Trailblazing at all?"

  Pom-Pom shook their head, tears building in the corners of their eyes. They stomped their foot, a childish gesture that Akivili would normally tease them over. They said nothing.

  "No!" The conductor shouted, not caring now that they were separated from the rest of the train. "The point of Trailblazing is to explore the universe and all it offers. You can do that without going past the wall! You can't do this, I won't let you!"

  Akivili knelt down and took Pom-Pom's hands in their own, the feeling of simply holding them doing nothing but fuel the conductor's tears. Tears gathered in the God's own eyes, though they made no move to wipe them away, letting clear liquid run down their cheeks. Their hands were warm. Their hands were shaking.

  "Pom-Pom," they started voice as soft as they knew how to make it. "This is what I was made for. This is why I exist. Every Aeon is bound to their path, and I'm not an exception. I .  .  . I ascended to discover the end of existence. And I know, I just know, that the answer is beyond that wall. I can't ignore my destiny."

  The conductor's body trembled as they cried, tears running down their face in rapid streaks. A sting of sympathy, entwined with regret, pierced Caelus at the same time it did Akivili. One of those emotions felt more like his own, though he didn't know which. In that moment Caelus wanted nothing but to reach and wipe the conductor's tears away. As he thought this, Akivili's fingers swiped across Pom-Pom's cheeks, wiping beads of water away.

  "Yes, you can!" They insisted, their voice far less certain than before. "You can stay here with us and keep Trailblazing, you don't have to go! Akivili, you can't leave us, I won't let you!"

  They shook their head so fast it made their ears flop, a sob cracking their sentence. Pom-Pom gripped Akivili's hands like it would anchor the Aeon in place, like their pitiful hold was enough to keep destiny's hands off their only true friend. Akivili pulled them closer, wrapping their arms around them, and they embraced their God with a tearful sob.

  "I love you, Pom-Pom," they said, voice thick with regret, tears staining every word. "I love you so much, just like I love the rest of the Nameless. And I'm so sorry that I have to go."

  Pom-Pom's tears were an awful sight, something Akivili had always done their best to prevent. If there was one thing they'd never forgive themself for, it would be making their closest friend cry. Akivili wiped away their own tears, even as more fell, leaning forward to press their foreheads together.

  They were smiling, a poor imitation of their sparkling grin, even as they accepted the finality of this conversation. They smiled through the tears, and they spoke with a shaking voice.

  "Listen to me, okay?" Pom-Pom's eyes focused on their face, barely visible through the veil of tears. "I'm going to come back. I don't care how long it takes or how difficult it is, I'm going to come back to you." Their words, the certainty that coated every syllable, got Pom-Pom's attention. They sniffled and wiped at their tears as the crying slowed. "Once I do, you can yell at me all you want for leaving. And we'll go somewhere fun, like Andromeda. But .  .  . Until then, you have to take care of the Express for me, okay?" They stood back to their full height, wiping there eyes with the back of their hand.

  Both of them knew the truth, even if they denied it. Both of them knew Akivili likely wouldn't be making it back. Both of them knew that this would be the last time they'd speak to each other for a long, long time.

  Pom-Pom sniffled, and the last of their tears fell as they lost the embrace of their dearest friend. They sniffled and shook, but their hands fell to their side. "I'll wait for you. If it takes one month or a thousand years. So you .  .  . You'd better come back, got that?"

  ".  .  . I will. Of course I will."

  Promise made, Pom-Pom nodded, walking their way back to the rest of the train. Akivili watched until the door closed with a mechanical click, until the only things left were them and the world. A low, echoing sorrow built in their chest, but with a shake of their head, they pushed it aside.

  Across the universe, a brick was laid down on a wall grander than existence, a wall with the will of an Aeon preserving it. Across the universe, Qlipoth continued their goal of sealing the world off from whatever is beyond. Akivili felt as this happened, and their soul tugged them towards it, and they knew it was time.

  They glanced around their Express for what might be the last time, willing the sight to stick in their memory, imprinting a single sentence along with it. The words echoed in Caelus's head as easily as if the thought had been his own.

 I'm going to come back home someday.

  They turned back to the doors. With a deep breath and a shaky smile, they pushed open the doors they'd opened so many times before, and fell straight into the open arms of the galaxy, here to greet them even at the end. Akivili welcomed the embrace, allowing starlight to soothe their soul.

  Their form shifted, power expanding beyond their body, seeping into the blackness and illuminating all with a silver glow. The Aeon steadies their footing, the tracks underneath them glowing as bright as ever. Shimmering and swirling, they took the first steps towards their destiny.

  The planets they passed were both familiar and not. There were sights they'd seen before, worlds they'd visited many times and some they didn't know existed. They reached their hand out to one as they passed, allowing their palm to illuminate the shadowed surface of the planet with stellar radiance. That might be the only light that planet ever gets, they thought, the idea a little sad. I guess .  .  . I'm glad to be that light.

  They lifted their hand away, not bothering to check whether there were people living on the surface. Some part of them hoped there weren't. What a tragedy that would be, to be born among darkness, to live and die not knowing the light. The God tilted their head in a gesture of sympathy for it, then moved on.

  The Celestial Comet Wall was not exactly something hard to find. Raw power, Aeonic might, oozed from every brick, each one laid with the intent that none pass beyond the barrier. It was the truest definition of a wall, the closest anything has gotten to sealing the ever-expanding universe within itself. It was a near-perfect creation.

  But bricks, even those built from comets and held together by stardust, have cracks. A wall, no matter how grand, is bound to have weak points, places where the dust crumbles and opens an entryway. Akivili knew that Qlipoth did their best to fix these cracks, but they could not work perfectly each time. Even Qlipoth felt the exhaustion of eras on their back; even an Aeon cannot work for eternity.

  It was because of this fact that Akivili knew the Amber Lord's vigilant watch would slip. They had known Qlipoth for many years, if not as friends then at least allies. In those years, they had learned much, and knew the exact moment the other's concentration would drift. No matter how brief a pause it was, it was enough.

  They strode up to an unfinished section of the celestial barrier. The edges of the bricks were crumbling, breaking and returning to their original forms of dust. The Aeon's fingers traced over the ridges and bumps, feeling every crack as they stopped to think.

  Am I really about to do this?

  The answer was yes. The answer had always been yes. The universe knew, and Caelus knew, and Akivili knew. It wasn't much of a decision, and to call it that would've been fundamentally incorrect. Akivili, like any other of the Aeons, was aware -from the moment they came into being-  that they could not fight the destiny they ascended to fulfill. Fight though they may, the strings of fate would always guide them here in the end.

  There was not a decision to be made. There was an order to be followed. And so follow it they did.

  Akivili did not look back as they let go of their grip on the wall, stepping forward into the vast unknown. Some part of them expected solid starlight under their feet, expected the stability of the world supporting their every step. They were wrong to ever expect such familiarity here.

  The second their foot passed the threshold, the Aeon plummeted through ink-dark blackness, falling further, pulled into the abyss by a force beyond their knowledge. It dragged them down with the slowness of someone pulling on a stray string, as if to get a closer look. They stifled a cry of surprise at the sudden nature of it all, tried to focus their eyes, and at last saw what was around them.

  There was nothing. Nothing at all. An empty infinity stretched out before their eyes, nothing but darkness for what must have been millions of miles. Their shock was immeasurable, and it took almost all of their strength just to move again. Akivili steeled their nerves and attempted to make their way through the black, staring out at the emptiness.

  It stared back.

  A gaze beyond even their own celestial power settled upon them. They froze, their body going cold, silver radiance flickering with every breath.

  In some ways, it reminded Caelus of the first time he drew the gaze of an Aeon. When Nanook looked upon him with disdain in their eyes. He had understood something about the himself, in that moment; had begun walking a Path that felt familiar, though he never knew why. Even months after, he never forgot how it felt to have power rush through his body, to feel the pulse of Aeonic influence in his bones. That was about where the similarities ended. There was no power in this, no rush of regeneration or completion of philosophy. There was only terror.

  Terror, and understanding.

  The black mass of infinity stared at Akivili, looked at them and through them, searched their soul and toyed with the threads of their existence. It gazed upon them not like a predator does prey, but like a God might look at an ant.

  Akivili understood.

  The Unknowable became the Known. The truth unfolded from beyond it's veil of secrets. The end of the Tree of Existence was plain in sight.

  Akivili understood.

  A single tear slipped down their cheek. Their mind reeled, thoughts spinning and swirling, a tornado of chaos with no end. Caelus recoiled from whatever realization they'd made, whatever knowledge they'd unlocked from a single glance. He tried to sever the connection between Akivili's mind and his own, but they had been locked together since the start. Their thoughts became his own.

  Static swirled and bit at the unprotected edges of his sanity. Words in a language neither of them understood filtered through his ears. And though he knew nothing of what was being said, he knew it as the truth of all things.

  Cosmic corruption stained their being, coating reality in black, as knowledge forbidden from the world seeped into the cracks in their soul. It was this feeling that snapped Akivili back into action, breaking them free from their statue-shock.

  Squeezing their eyes shut so that they couldn't meet It's gaze again, Akivili scrambled back, pushing the void away and struggling to get as far away as possible. They tried to search for the power coursing through the Celestial Comet Wall, finding nothing but empty silence. So, inevitably, they had to open their eyes if they wanted to get anywhere.

  Perhaps they got lucky. Or maybe there really was some kind of greater 'God' out there, looking down to them. Akivili didn't care which it was. They cared only for the faint glimmer of amber that hit their eyes. Akivili, as uncaring of danger as they had always been, made a beeline for the light. For the first time in many centuries, they were the one being guided by a shining light.

  The empty abyss solidified Itself under their feet as if supporting their journey, only to slip Itself from under their boots. It was .  .  . toying with them, like a cat pawing at a mouse. Its movements -if they could be called that- were smooth and languid, relaxed like It was in no rush. Like It knew the inevitability of the ending.

  Cracks bit through the Aeon's skin, black seeping into their body and staining their fingers a dark color. They looked something like a corpse, their body devouring and decomposing itself under the weight of what they now knew. They ignored the pain and kept going. The wall that would be their saving grace was so close .  .  . They could almost teach out and touch it. Their fingers stretched out, and just barely missed as Akivili tumbled to the ground.

  They cried out, looking back, seeing the darkness take a more solid form. It anchored them, kept the God trapped like a fly in a spider's web, even as they struggled their hardest. 

  Akivili kicked and fought, pushing back against the end that they knew would come. They refused to die, not in a place like this. Not alone. If they were going to die, they wanted their Nameless to be the last thing they saw.

  Fear dug its claws into their heart, and Caelus found himself panicking alongside them. This .  .  . This wasn't like his other dreams. In his previous dreams, Caelus had been connected to what Akivili felt, but there was always some element of distance in it. It never felt like he was truly experiencing anything. But now, here and now at the end of everything, he could feel himself being gripped by the cold terror of death.

 Akivili was crying again, as they struggled against their fate, reaching out their hand and attempting to grab hold of the universe on the other side. Pain echoed in the threads that held their existence together, the strings of life slowly cut from around them.

  Their fingers reached past the bricks, their hand extending into the universe they'd loved so much, the galaxy that had nurtured and adored them for so many years. They stretched, grabbing onto its hand, and pulled themself ou-

  A brick slammed down, crushing -and severing- their wrist beneath its weight. Their severed hand dispersed into stardust, fingers outstretched to a hope that would not come. Akivili's cry of pain was swallowed by the infinity around them. They could not scream if they tried.

  And they tried.

  Another brick was laid atop the first. Then another. Then another. Slowly, their view of the other side was blocked, separated by the wall that was built to do just that. Struggling was pointless, and they had no more energy left to use, yet they struggled anyway. They kicked and fought, refusing to bow to the Unknowable that had become Known. The abyss watched their desperation, and perhaps It laughed.

  Not like this. I can't die, not here! I have to go back, I can't-

  Desperate thoughts turned wild as panic and pain mixed together. Their body was devoured, their soul -a single fragment missing- along with it, as they held close a final promise.

  I will not abandon everyone. I made a promise, I- I will come back. I have to.

  The Trailblaze could think no more, as the numb release of death closed its jaws around them.

  Caelus jerks awake with a cut-off scream, eyes wide and his breathing labored. Dan Heng shot up right after, with March following. It did not take a genius to see that something wasn't right with their beloved. Dan Heng took action first, turning on the lamp as March comforted their boyfriend.

  "Caelus-? What happened, are you okay?"

  She kept her distance as Caelus tried to calm his breathing and slow his rapid heartbeat. He was shaking, tears building up in his eyes no matter how hard he tried to will them away. March, though she had initially wanted to give him space, couldn't stand seeing him so upset. She took his hand, gently rubbing circles into his palm with her thumb. Dan Heng copied her gesture, rubbing Caelus's back to calm him.

  "Calm down, it's okay. Tell us what happened; did you have a nightmare?"

  Caelus remained silent for a long time, even after calming down enough to speak. He was still shaking, mind racing, unable to think of anything other than the feeling of dying. His eyes locked onto his hands, and he pat himself down, making sure that his body was still intact.

  Remnants of desperate, wild panic echoed in his head. The kind of panic that only happens at the end of everything. He swallowed, took a shaky breath, and tried to explain. "I- I had another dream about Akivili. But it- it wasn't-" It was difficult, but he did his best to remain calm. "They were dying. I was dying!"

  Tears slipped down his cheeks as his breathing sped up again, and March was quick to wipe the clear liquid away. She attempted to soothe him with her voice and touch, and it worked enough that he began to focus. 

  "Hey, hey, relax. That was really scary, I know, but it's okay now. We're here, you're safe. You're not dying."

  Dan Heng pulled him closer, wrapping his arms around Caelus from behind, holding him in a gentle embrace. Their boyfriend began to calm down enough that he stopped crying, and March took the opportunity to ask a question.

  "So .  .  . What do you mean you were having 'another' dream about Akivili?"

  Rather than force Caelus to talk in the state he was in, Dan Heng answered for him, knowing most of the answer. He kept his voice gentle, running his fingers over his boyfriend's hair. "Caelus told he he'd recently begun having dreams about The Trailblaze. He hasn't mentioned the specifics of them, but they've been frequent for a few weeks. I don't believe he's had a nightmare about them before, though."

  She let out a small hum of sympathy, reaching out to cup her partner's face, wiping away the tears gathering in his eyes. Her warm gaze insisted that he was safe, and he knew it was true on the deepest level possible.

  They sat there together for what felt like eternity. It was probably five minutes. Caelus calmed down enough to explain, though he left out some of the finer details of the experience.

  "It was .  .  . It was a nightmare, yeah. Everything was fine at first, but then they went past some wall thing, and they started dying and- it felt like I was dying too. I thought I was .  .  ."

  March didn't take long to return to her job of comforting Caelus's fear. "I know it felt real, but it wasn't. You're okay, alright? It was just a nightmare, that's all!"

  Dan Heng joined her reassurance, and Caelus knew that logically, they were right. But doubt plucked a string in his soul, and uncertainty rested in his heart. He wanted to believe them, and a part of him did. Another part, a larger part perhaps, just wasn't sure.

  During that dream, in the moments of Akivili's demise, it had not felt as though they were two separate entities. In those minutes, it felt as as if they had become one. Caelus stretched his fingers in front of him, making sure they weren't tainted with black. It felt strange not to see the shimmering, ever-changing swirl of Akivili's skin. 

  He missed the feeling more than last time.

  Going over the dream made it a bit less scary, so Caelus tried to go step-by-step through it. At some point, his thoughts drifted to Pom-Pom, and their role in it all. He had known for a while that it was likely the conductor had been friends with Akivili, but it was still strange to have seen that in action.

  Something in Caelus told him that the relationship had gone beyond just friendship. Something in him told him that maybe, they had been the closest thing either of them had to family, for a long time. Maybe that was why Pom-Pom had been so devastated to see Akivili go for the last time. Maybe that was why they'd cried like never before, as they'd said goodbye to their dearest friend.

  As their face lingered in his thoughts, Caelus made up his mind. He was going to talk to them, as soon as everyone was back on the Express. Hopefully, they could answer some of the questions he'd been having since the day he woke up.

  If nothing else, he also wanted to give them a hug.

  Dan Heng's arms wrapped tighter around him, as he guided them both to lay down again. March joined them, tossing her arm over his side so she could hold him as well. It brought Caelus back to the present reality. He curled into their combined embrace, figuring his troubles could wait for the morning.

  Right now, he didn't want to think about anything but his partners, and their loving arms.

Chapter Text

  When the morning came, it brought with it their official departure from the Luofu. They packed up their things, got dressed in clothes that weren't patterned pajamas, and set out back to the Express.

  Caelus remained quiet for most of the morning, and no amount of coaxing from his partners would get him to talk about what was wrong. March even tried bribing him with snacks, which he wasn't quite sure where she got. They gave him looks of concern during the walk to the train, worrying that his dream from last night was still bothering him. It was, and he found it hard to shake off the fear he'd felt, but that wasn't what took so much of his attention.

  He was thinking of Pom-Pom more than anything else, wondering about them and their connection with Akivili. Now that he knew how there relationship had been, he couldn't help but feel sympathy for the conductor. They'd lost their best friend, and though he didn't know what that felt like, he knew it was painful.

  He'd already made up his mind to talk to them once they were back on the Express. The only problem was figuring out what to say when he did.

  That dilemma took up his thoughts until they all stepped into the parlor car. Himeko and Welt were already there, getting the train ready so they could return to their original journey. Himeko looked up when they entered, a playful glint in her eyes. 

  "Oh, you're back. Did you three have a fun night together?"

  She winked for added emphasis, as if they needed more clues to what she meant. Of the three trailblazers, March reacted first, waving her hands like it would shoo away the very thought. "We did have a nice time, but it was nothing like that!" Himeko only laughed, returning to sipping at her drink. Caelus could hear her make a few teasing comments towards Dan Heng as well, but by then he'd walked away, sparing himself the embarrassment his partners went through.

  He did a lap around the parlor car, searching for the conductor, but found nothing. That was disappointing, but if he had to guess, he'd say they were probably at the front, directing the train back on course. Part of him wanted to go find them anyway, but a small buzz interrupted his thoughts before he could.

  He slipped his phone out of his pocket, finding a message from Herta on the screen. He could only read half, so he unlocked his phone to find out what she wanted.

  Herta

    Come test the Simulated Universe. I updated some things.

  Caelus scanned over her message, already seeing the pop-up telling him he couldn't respond. There wasn't really much of a choice to be had, he'd already learned that Herta could be very insistent when she wanted to be. And besides .  .  . He'd never say no to free Stellar Jades. So he put his phone back in his pocket, adjusted his jacket sleeves where they'd rolled up, and walked back over to the other Nameless.

  Himeko had stopped her teasing by then, but she still had a look in her eyes that he knew never meant any good. He elected to ignore the way she looked at him, like a mother watching her favorite child. It was hard to hold her gaze, so he ended up staring at her hair instead.

  "Herta just messaged me. She wants me to test some updates for the Simulated Universe, so I'll probably be gone for a couple hours."

  She nodded, setting down her cup so that she could focus. "That's fine. As long as you're back before we leave this afternoon. Just don't do anything too dangerous, alright?"

  They shared a few more words, reminders of safety and the like, before Caelus set out to the Herta Space Station. He tried to look for Pom-Pom one final time, but there was still no sign of them. So he gave up the search for a while, and went on his way.

  Herta was waiting in her office when he arrived, just as she always was. Her puppet was active, but running on autopilot. He could tell only because its eyes weren't lit up, two dull orbs without any light or life in them.

  It loaded him into the simulation without formality, going back to standing and staring at the door.

  He closed his eyes to prepare for the sensation of reality warping into non-reality, the world rebuilding itself out of pixels and code. It always made him nauseous if he tried to watch the transformation happen, so he kept his eyes shut. Knowing when it was safe to look was hard to judge, but as the ground stabilized under his feet, Caelus decided to risk it.

  Opening his eyes to see Belobog rather than the office was remarkably similar to waking into his dreams. It was almost exactly the same, save for the fact that he was still in his own body. That, and nothing shifted or changed when he thought about looking different.

  Caelus looked around, taking in his surroundings, and also taking in the silence. Normally his companions would be with him, chatting and blasting through monsters together. But nobody was here except for him. He tilted his head, trying to mentally convey his confusion to Herta. Her voice answered the unspoken question a second later.

  "Something glitched when you loaded in. I can't get your companions with you. Go through this level and then I'll reset everything, that should fix it."

  Grumbling about having to do this alone, Caelus readied his weapon. The cold bit his skin, and he shivered despite knowing it wasn't real. The knowledge that it was a simulation did nothing to stop how real it felt. He gripped his bat tight, swinging at the first creature that came near. It made a warped, garbled noise of pain, reeling back before charging forward to attack. He made quick work of it with a few well-timed swings of his bat. 

  Nothing he encountered was all that difficult to fight, and he struck down each within a few swings. The only real challenge was going through it alone, since it gave the creatures around him more chances to land their own hits. A few bruises and scrapes made their way to his arms and knees, but he avoided any worse injuries.

  Enemy after enemy came his way, and each one collapsed before they could do anything other than scream. The longer he fought, the more a sense of excitement built in his chest. Each time another fell, crumbling into pixels and dust, he found himself grinning harder. It almost hurt his cheeks, but he didn't stop. This power, his strength, the way the air trembled with every hard strike- it was incredible.

  Addicting.

  His bat sparked with electricity, and as he put all his strength into one last hit, he struck the final enemy down. Watching it cry out and become nothing was something Caelus never thought he'd find entertaining. And yet here he was. Laughter bubbles in his throat, a quiet giggle that soon turned wild. Ignoring that fact that Herta was listening, not caring that his only audience had long been killed, Caelus laughed. He set his weapon to the side, wiping sweat from his brow. He wasn't sure why sweat was even a thing in the Simulated Universe, but apparently it was. His laughter faded when pain spiked in his head, and he closed his mouth.

  The laughter kept going.

  Jerking in startled surprise, he looked around, hoping to discover the source of the noise. In the process, he stumbled upon words instead. A voice that was not a voice called out to him.

  "Akivili, Akivili! It has been so long, I miss you greatly!"

  A figure constructed themself before his eyes. The person that appeared from the ball of code was not a person, nor were they anything else he might be able to describe. They .  .  . were, and that was all he could think to say of them. Their laughter was that of a madman, manic euphoria swirling with screams- both of joy and terror. It was infectious, this laughter of theirs, and Caelus hadn't stopped smiling, even as his cheeks stung and ached.

  Their call to him was familiar, though he didn't remember hearing it before. He raised a hand in greeting before realizing what he was doing, and promptly shoved his arm back to his side. It was an instinctual action, based on muscle memory he didn't know he had. With no time to think about it, he turned his attention back to the one in front of him.

  The Aeon settled their form enough that they had a recognizable body. Not that it meant much, considering they immediately began spinning in rapid circles. Their form was as immaculate as a sculpture, and they moved like a ballerina in a music box. Stuff, rigid, yet more fluid than anything he'd seen.

  A mask manifested itself in their arms, and its mouth moves when their voice pricked the air. It looked similar to an old theatre mask, set in an exaggerated expression of laughter. It was then that Caelus notices they didn't have a head. Somehow, that wasn't the strangest thing he'd seen while exploring the Simulated Universe. Compared to many of the Aeons he'd heard about, Aha's form was relatively human in appearance. Or at least in shape. They didn't look anything close to normal, but he wasn't expecting them to.

  Aha's body almost perfectly mirrored a statue, like they had modeled themself after the visions of old societies, like the Greeks. This effect of elegance was thrown out the window by the rest of them.

  Their outfit was gaudy and extravagant, decorated from head to toe in miscellaneous bits and baubles. Silver bells dangled from one side of their sleeve, while trinkets that looked suspiciously like smiling faces dotted the other side. The bells jingled as they spin, creating a tune he felt he should recognize. A bright, neon pattern of shapes and stars was scattered over the different materials of fabric. And there was a lot of fabric, none of it matching. Caelus's first thought was of a circus performer, and the way they were acting made it hard to disprove that connection.

  "You know," they began, their voice steady despite the spinning. "I'm really so sad." The mask's expression warped, remolding itself into a dramatic representation of despair. "You died." Their tone turned almost accusatory, and guilt crept into Caelus's heart, before he stamped it down. He felt almost as if he had died. "Why did you do that? I told you not to; I've been so bored without you."

  Whether their words were genuine, he couldn't tell, but their voice was thick was sorrow. Mixed within was an undercurrent of amusement, like a smile hidden beneath a mask of tears. Perhaps they were trying to disguise it, but the effort wasn't a very good one. That smile broke through with ease. Though they may be a good actor, not even Aha could keep up such a facade of sadness for so long. They didn't really try. The grin that emerged was wide, manic and gleeful in the way only the truly mad could be. He could practically hear their laughter again, although they'd stopped laughing.

  "But now you're back!" They exclaimed, and this time their joy sounded real. "You're here, and the universe can fix it's order again. Oh- wait .  .  ." The Aeon went quiet, their spinning slowing down but not stopping. The slower speed made it easier for Caelus to see their expressions. "If you've returned, then that means the chaos I've enjoyed can't stay much longer. Aww .  .  . Go back to being dead, I like how fun the world has become! This chaos is exactly what I want!"

  They paused, slowing to a stop and leaning forward. They were taller than him, not by much, but enough that they could lean down to peer at his face. It didn't appear to help much, so perhaps it was just for comedic effect. Coins jingled in one of the pockets decorating their clothes, some falling to the floor.

  "But I guess I can deal with order, if you're here again." The theatre mask in their arms shifted positions, resting over where the Aeon's face would've been. A head materialized to support it, though Caelus couldn't catch a glimpse of Aha's face in the few seconds it was visible. "I want to hug you, unfortunately I'm just an equation in a computer. Oh! That seems kinda cool." They scratched their head, ruffling hair that he wasn't sure actually existed.

  Herta's voice attempted to cut into their conversation, but Caelus could barely hear her. She was scratchy and distant, like listening to radio static. Only some words made it to his ears, no matter how hard he tried to focus.

  ".  .  . Edit their data .  .  . Pretending .  .  . Figured out .  .  . Akivili."

  He strained his brain, attempting to understand the rest of what she was saying, but Aha's laughter snapped him back to the present. Without thinking, he giggled along with them. He wasn't sure whether that made them more happy or a bit upset, but their smile dimmed when his laughter joined their own.

  The Aeon sighed, a long and dramatic thing, climbing up one of the lampposts scattered around the area. It wobbled under their weight, but ultimately held strong. It was tall enough that they could swing their legs up and over, dangling upside down. Or maybe they just made themself shorter for it. Their arms swung lazily, playing cards appearing from nowhere to flick between their fingers. From what he could see, all of the cards were hearts, except for the Joker card.

  "I have to apologize to you, really. I remember when I hid on your train for a whole year, just to blow it up with your Nameless followers." Despite supposedly 'apologizing', they giggled at the memory of their mischief. "You were so mad, but I just couldn't resist. I'm sorry."

  Layering their voice in every kind of regret and remorse, they laid their hand on their chest, and bowed solemnly. Well, it wasn't exactly a bow, but it was the best they could do while upside down. Caelus only nodded when he realized they were waiting for a response. The apology wasn't for him, and yet he felt the need to accept it regardless.

  Satisfied that there was no hard feelings between them, the eyeless holes of the mask focused their gaze upon his face. But it wasn't the same. They weren't quite looking at him, more something else. Something beyond Caelus, beyond this place and moment. He didn't understand what it was they were trying to see, but he held their gaze even when his mind demanded he look away. He stared them down with matching intensity.

  The Aeon blinked -he didn't know how they did that without eyes- and laughed. What they were laughing at, he didn't know. Perhaps they saw what they wanted, during their exchange of glances. Perhaps they didn't. Either way, they laughed, tumbling to the ground.

  Dirt and snow kicked up upon their impact with the ground, and a collection of odd objects scattered across the snow. A miniature version of the mask on their face, darts of all colors, and a tiny bottle of sparkling pink liquid- just to name a few. Aha didn't pick these things up, and they faded into pixels not long after. They stood, shaking snowflakes off their body like a dog who's been in the rain.

  "You're Akivili."

  They said this, as if Caelus hadn't heard them before. It was an insistence of sorts, like they knew he didn't believe it was true. Herta's voice trickles into his ears again.

  "Aha can't be trusted. Especially not about this. They're just messing with you."

  Her words, though logical, went in one ear and out the other. He was barely listening, only distantly aware that she'd said anything at all. The full force of his attention was on Aha.

  "You're alive and well- how interesting!" Their glee returned ten-fold, as they shook stray flecks of dirt out of their clothes. "You should play with me more, that's what I want. I miss playing with you."

  What they were saying, how they were saying it, all of it reminded Caelus of something. Pulled on a memory he forgot he had. They reminded him a lot of the young Nameless children he'd seen in a dream before, the kids who gathered around Akivili, calling them to play just the same as Aha was doing now.

  "You're small right now," they commented, and Caelus wasn't sure if he was meant to take that as an insult or not. "But I know you'll be big again if you grow enough! So that's what I want you to do: grow!" Their exclamation was bright and gleeful, like they'd found the answer to everything in that one word. "Grow up, and we can play together again."

  They looked over, and though he couldn't see any particular expression -other than a large smile- on the mask that was their face, Caelus felt that perhaps they did mean their words. It was impossible to tell whether they were being genuine behind the dramatics and performance, but there was something real in their sadness, in their longing to play with an old friend. He tried to shake the thoughts away, reminding himself that this was nothing but a simulation. Whatever Aha wanted, they only wished because they were aware of the fact they'd been coded to think that way.

  They took a step forward, winding up right in front of him despite not being that close before. Aha's hands settled on his shoulders as they tilted their head to the side, regarding him a final time. He'd always wondered what the Aeons might be thinking, but never had he been more curious than now.

  "Hmm .  .  . If I were Yaoshi, I'd kiss you. I kind of want to. But I don't have lips!" They gestured gleefully to their mask, tapping the object as if to show that indeed, it was rather lipless. So they settled for bumping it against Caelus's forehead in a gesture far gentler than he would have thought them capable of.

  Caelus went still, not quite sure what to do, frozen by the shock of everything. Their touch was soft, the feeling of their hands on his shoulders something close to how a human hand feels. There was warmth that hadn't been there before, a sort of care that he doubted was meant solely for him. Some part of him wanted to return the gesture, to bump his forehead against theirs and smile together like friends rather than strangers. Another part wanted to take off their mask, to knock its delicate balance down and see if there was a face behind the chaos.

  The Aeon backed away before he could decide.

  Their way of backing up was rather dramatic. They weren't content to just walk away, apparently finding it necessary to shove Caelus away as well, so they both went staggering in opposite directions. Regaining their balance, they stomped their feet against the snowy ground, raising their arms in a large wave as their body faded.

  "Bye-bye, new Akivili! Come play with me again, when I'm not in a computer!"

  They vanished, exploding into a glittering ball of lights and confetti. Like a fireworks show just for him. The only evidence of their presence was the slight shake in his limbs, and a card left on the floor. He knelt down to pick it up, holding it with the tips of his fingers.

  The Ace of Hearts.

  Power flickered over the surface of the card, similar to how a Curio might act. No description came up when he tried asking the Simulated Universe. Seems not even it knew what the card was. He debated just leaving it in the snow, but the card glittered with promised of fun, and he couldn't resist the temptation to see what it might do. He slipped the card into his pocket, deciding it couldn't hurt to just have it as he kept going.

  "Something's wrong with the simulation," Herta said, her voice not quite as static as before. If he jumped, startled by the fact that she'd been there the entire time, she didn't mention anything. "I can't load anyone in with you, even after I reconfigured a few settings. I'm not sure if it's a glitch or not, but I can't get you out either." She sounded far less concerned about that than he'd thought she would. "Just go as far as you can on your own. Your death -or victory, I guess- will definitely reset the simulation, no matter what."

  "You just want me to get more data for you," he accused, though it wasn't really an accusation if he was right. He imagined that if she had been in front of him, he would've seen her shrug. 

  "Yeah. Why else would I be wasting my time talking to you?'

  Huffing, Caelus crossed his arms over his chest. He didn't have a good argument, so he kind of just felt angry in silence. It wasn't that he didn't understand Herta's motivations for all of this, but he still didn't appreciate being used as an experiment.

  The only ways to get out of the Simulated Universe were beating it, or dying. He didn't particularly want to die today, and so he grabbed his bat and stepped into another combat domain. The second he loaded in, he took a swing at the first thing that got close. It grumbled under his strength, and the two enemies with it didn't last much longer.

  The rest were quick to follow, and he kept swinging until nothing remained in his way. A few more scrapes dug into his sides, and a moment of distraction brought blood down his ankle. After making the final strike and sending the domain into silence, he waited, looking around for any signs of something unusual.

  Nothing happened.

  Trying the next domain brought mostly the same results. More tedious fighting, more poorly timed strikes resulting in his own blood dripping down his arms. Caelus almost considered asking Herta to try taking him out of the simulation again, but didn't. Her answer would be no, anyway.

  He stumbled into the domain that came right before the Elite, half expecting to be attacked before he even moved. 

  But he wasn't.

  He paused, the grip on his bat slipping as he examined the domain around him. Normally, there would be an enemy or two in front of him, attacking the minute their eyes locked onto him. They were there in every other domain, every single time he played any world in the Simulated Universe. 

  But they weren't here.

  He took a step forward, watching every small movement from everything in the room. This might've been another glitch, or a deliberate trap to trick him into letting his guard down. He wasn't sure if the Fragmentum creatures were actually that smart, but it wasn't entirely impossible. Either way, he didn't trust any of it. The first step went fine. No hidden traps were spring, no enemies appeared, and he didn't die without warning. Less cautious the second time, he took another.

  The world paused. The universe exhaled, relaxing itself of its worried and struggle. Peace settled in the form of flower petals that looked more like glass. The petals gathered together, purpose guiding the way they fluttered to the ground.

  Cool warmth, spring rain, flooded his senses as the world reformed around the presence entering his space. Herta's voice snuck around in the corners of his head, much less static than before. Confusion, excitement, and glee all fought for control of her words. Confusion seemed to win.

  "Is that-? But that's never happened before .  .  . What's going on today?'

  Caelus's eyes struggled to see through the fog of pain covering his senses, but they focused at last on the silhouette of a person. The silhouette became clearer the longer he stared, his eyesight coming into focus like a camera lense. A young woman stood in front of him, pale in every sense of the word, the soft color making them look almost fragile.

  This, while a bit odd, was nowhere near as strange as some of the things he'd send here. He opened his mouth to ask why Herta was so confused about someone so normal, when the person in front of him moved.

  Fluid and smooth, like a cosmic dance, they stretched their arms. Two more emerged from where there was originally one. Their skin -white, whiter than the petals of a lily- didn't wrinkle or fold as they moved, and it was as if he was watching a figurine rather than anything close to a person. They rested themself upon a seat of vines and flowers, one leg crossed over the other, two hands folded in their lap.

  The Aeon's eyes opened, tens of thousands of red eyes focusing on Caelus at once. At the same time, their gaze extended beyond him, to something only they saw. Yaoshi smiled -although they may have been doing that the entire time- and spoke.

  'The Trailblaze. I am delighted by your return."

  Both pleasure and sympathy decorated their words. Yaoshi's voice was dripping in what Caelus recognized as pity; nothing close to delight. Their eyes softened, brows furrowing the slightest inch. And yet they kept smiling, a more subdued curving of the lips compared to Aha's magic grin. He much preferred this, over such infectious euphoria.

  Their voice bloomed flowers across their body, petals scattering on the ground. Real petals, not sparks of light made in the imitation of something alive. He watched the little things fall, finding enough of his confidence to continue the conversation.

  "You don't sound too happy, you know."

  They chuckled, the sound attracting vines into the cracks in the walls. Flowers matching those on the Aeon's body grew from most, but one in particular grew a small fruit tree. From the branch came a peach, golden and sparkling. The room filled with the smell of fruit, like they were standing in an orchard rather than a space station.

  "How can a body bound by its limits cross the boundless ocean? May you give up your burdens, be removed from the cycle of being, and set yourself free from suffering."

  Words hanging heavy in the air, they leaned forward, reaching out with their many arms. Two of their hands cupped the sides of Caelus's face, while another two closed the gap between their bodies. The remaining hands rested on their legs, content to weave thin threads of silk through their fingers. Yaoshi's touch was smooth, spreading over and across him rather than staying where their fingers made contact.

  They pressed their lips to his own, intertwining their bodies in a way that touch could never achieve, and Caelus practically melted. He wanted to collapse into their arms, wanted to be caressed be held like this for as long as he could handle. Yaoshi's grip, gentle though it was, stayed form enough to keep him standing. From their embrace of lips, power flowed. Yaoshi guided gentle streams of cool heat through his body, their touch spreading to the deepest parts of him as they mended his many injuries. Skin and muscle stitched back together, leaving no scar. Blood stopped running down his arms as the gashes disappeared, dried patches of red vanishing from his clothing. The foggy haze of agony lifted from his mind, clearing his thoughts and allowing Caelus to think.

  Well, he would be able to think, if only Yaoshi would stop kissing him for a single second.

. His injuries were healed, meaning there was no reason for the Aeon to keep him held so close. And yet they did not let go. They poured more of their Aeonic might into him, filling his mouth with the taste of spring dew and honey. With nowhere else to go, it flowed through and out, seeping through his skin, manifesting in the world around them.

  Vines grew and entangled in his hair, vivid blossoms blooming along them. Flowers from Belobog's shops settled across his forehead, a few species from the Luofu tying together the vines in the back. Tucked right behind his ear, different from all the rest in ways he didn't understand, was a small white flower. It reminded him, strangely, of the word 'home'. The vines formed a crown of sorts atop his head, a crown that he had never worn yet always knew. Memory pulsed through each petal like a heartbeat. Memory that he recognized, yet could not call upon.

  Work now truly finished, Yaoshi separated their lips at last, a string of saliva connecting their mouths. Many of their eyes had drifted to look elsewhere, but the ones on the Aeon's face remained only on him. They ran their gaze across his face- perhaps gauging his reaction, perhaps because they found nothing else worth staring at. Their voice punctured the air as efficiently as their scorpion tail, with all the softness of a falling leaf.

  "We have missed you so dearly, Akivili." They traced their fingers over the edge of one of the flowers. It bloomed larger under their touch. "Welcome home."

  Their hands retreated, body collapsing into the same crystalline petals they'd arrived as. Everything their power created vanished with them. Everything, except for the circlet adorning Caelus's head. A few petals fell loose from it, but otherwise it remained untouched and intact.

  It took a while, but Herta's voice filled the void that Yaoshi's departure left, her excitement palpable in the way the Simulated Universe trembled slightly. She was probably smiling, though he couldn't see her face so he had no idea.

  "I can't believe it! You actually met two Aeons, in the same run! And they both talked to you!" He could practically hear her grin through their communications. "Caelus, you have to keep going! I need to see if you'll meet anyone else."

  Already setting his bat on his shoulder, he muttered a complaint under his breath, though of course Herta heard it. "I don't really have a choice here, do I?" He didn't, not really. They both knew that, and so Caelus groaned, but continued through the simulation. He didn't want to do any more fighting, but it wasn't like there was any other way out. At least he wasn't injured anymore.

  He stepped into the next domain, prepared to confront the enemy towering over him. Unfortunately, it was also prepared, throwing attacks at him before he could think of what to do.

  Yaoshi's healing was almost immediately undone, as cuts and burns dug deep into Caelus's skin. The residual traces of their power healed what it could, but not everything could be erased. The battle drained much of his strength, exhausting the small amount of energy he still had. He fought though mostly on adrenaline, and a bit of spite. At some point, he fell into something close to a rhythm, and got a chance to speak about the thing he'd been curious about the whole time.

  "Hey, Herta?"

  Static sparked in his ears as he dodged another attack, almost covering the researcher's response. "What? I'm trying to sort through the data I've gathered, make this quick."

  Dark purple decorated his elbows, bruises blooming to life with every hit. It was painful, but not unbearably so. "I was wondering about the updates you mentioned. Was meeting Aha and Yaoshi part of that at all?"

  She made a small, distracted noise that he took to mean 'no'. Herta was quiet for a while, and he stopped actively paying attention to her presence within his head. Even when she did speak, it wasn't really anything he cared about hearing. 

  "Their appearances weren't part of what I updated, no. I'm glad they showed up, it's given me a lot to work with, but I only added-"

  She went silent, cut off with a sharp noise, like an old radio signal that was interrupted. Even the pressure in the back of his head, the thing that told him Herta was watching, had vanished. It was replaced with a different pressure, similar but not the same, as if something greater than she had turned its gaze upon him.

  A crack dug into the ground beneath his feet, not that Caelus noticed. The floor was messed up enough that it blended in, and he was a bit too busy trying not to die to pay attention to the floor.

  "Herta?" He called, like his voice would summon her back from wherever she'd vanished to. "Hey, where'd you go?" There was no response, and he really hadn't been expecting one. Still, he had to try.

  Another crack spread from the first, when he landed a good hit on his enemy. A third as blood and Fragmentum dust mixed together on the walls. The monster in front of Caelus lunged forward, and the ground split in two. Golden lava, looking more like blood than magma, bubbled to the surface. It poured and flowed over the floor, heat warping the air until it was hard to see. Power stuck to his tongue like ash, sinking into his pores to reach the Stellaron he called a heart. It thumped harder in his chest, dedicated to pretending to be more innocent than it was.

  Fire burst where the gold abandoned, filling the empty spaces and devouring all it could touch. Conveniently, it missed the spot where he was standing. The monster he was fighting was nowhere near as lucky.

  He watched, 'safe' on the other side of the split, as flame rushed up its body. The thing cried out in what must've been agony, screaming and begging in a warped language that he barely understood. Its nails clawed at its face, as if it would do anything but add blood to fuel the fire. Flesh melted and fell to the ground, flame flaring where it did.

  Above, the sky darkened to the same black as the voir, splitting apart to make way for what was coming. A hand reached from the vortex the sky had become, blocking out the sunlight. The rest of a body emerged after it.

  With a single touch, barely a graze of their fingertips, the monster crumbled into golden dust. It exploded in on itself, shrieking out a desperate plea, begging to be spared. But there was no mercy for a creature such as this. There was no mercy given to anything, in the mind of the Aeon with golden eyes.

  To say Nanook's form was large would've been the understatement of the century. Their body dwarfed all of the other Aeons he'd met so far, though that might've been them shrinking down to speak at his level. It was painfully obvious that Nanook didn't care at all about doing that. A shadow fell over the battlefield as their body obscured the sun, only slight rays making it past them. The small streaks of sunlight that curled around The Destruction made them look far less like the being of entropy and ruin that they were. Caelus looked up at them, and for a second or two, they appeared more ethereal than abyssal.

  The fire roared into an inferno, embers fueled into blazes by the presence of their creator. The Stellaron in Caelus's chest cried out, singing a love for its originator, screaming to return to where it was made. Echoes of adoration that was not his own reverberated in his thoughts. Caelus stomped down its voice in his mind, willing himself to remain focused on the being in front of -above?- him.

  The ground rumbled, shaking with the force of an earthquake as the cracks ceased their golden flow. As if the blood of Death had clotted, sealing its own injuries. The sky cracked as Nanook moved, tilting their head an inch to the right. They regarded him with a blank gaze, and the Aeon was silent.

  Until they weren't.

  A woman and her child screamed, shrieking their agony to a world that had no room to care for it. A bomb was dropped on a city of innocents, as a message of warning to those who made the first move. Empires crumbled to dust in an instant, recreating themselves only to fall yet again. Blood and stardust colored the universe gold and red as it collapsed upon itself to be rebuilt anew. Hope fled, having no place here. Destruction addressed that which it seeks to destroy.

  "Watch the universe at its truest, and you will understand why it must be reduced to dust."

  Their molten gaze was not soft, not was it kind. That was just how he thought things would be. Though he knew they had been programmed to view him as Akivili, and he knew something of the two's former friendship(?), that did not mean he expected anything close to kindness. Not from someone so inherently violent, so hellbent on bloodying creation until only the end remained. 

  Even still, there was something that swirled in the Aeon's gaze, something that smoothed out the sharp edges of their perpetual glare. He wasn't sure what exactly was there, but it softened the blow of their gaze, turning blazing heat into gentle warmth.

  Ichor dripped from the wound carved into their chest, an eternally bleeding reminder of the end to all things. Some of this blood stained into Caelus's clothes, tainting grey and white with a metallic tint. He almost expected it to burn through his body like acid, but nothing happened. When they moved, straightening back into a more familiar posture, their hair swished in the wind the Simulated Universe created. The tips of their white braids barely missed the ground, and Caelus almost wanted to reach out and touch one of them. Just to see what it would be like to touch Nanook as himself, rather than through his dreams of Akivili. 

  He didn't get the chance, as they turned away and vanished not long after speaking. They saw no point in staying longer, when all had been said that needed to be. The pixels that their body became were recycled by the simulation, patching the cracks in the sky and ground, cleaning up the gold splattered across pretty much everything. In no less than a minute, the entire area went back to how it had been before. The only evidence that anything happened at all was the gold still staining Caelus's shirt. That, and Herta's giddy excitement when she came back to his head.

  "I- honestly, I can't believe any of this." If she wants anyone else, he might imagine her twirling around happily. But since this was Herta, she was probably just smiling. "None of the previous testers have managed to get Nanook's attention, much less actually talk to them! Maybe you are good for something."

  Scoffing, he wiped traces of blood and ash out of his hair, only a little offended by that. "Says the one who doesn't ever help me fight. Speaking of that, where were you? Your voice just kinda- cut out."

  "I lost communications with you for a while. The Simulated Universe still can't handle too much input at once; Nanook's appearance might've caused it to pause my audio. I still saw most of that, so it doesn't matter. Now c'mon, go through the rest."

  Resting his bag against his side, Caelus glared up at the newly fixed sky, trying to prove that he was serious. It probably just made him look silly. "You'd better pay me extra for this."

  "Sure, whatever, I will. Just do what I say."

  He sighed, but shrugged, having already committed to seeing this through. At the very least, it would give him something new to talk about when March asked what the Simulated Universe was like. He didn't have the heart to tell her that it's just boring fights most of the time.

  When he stepped into the next domain, there was a difference from the second he took a step. A new rush of power coursed through his skin, strengthening every action. Each strike of his bat was stronger, more intense, knocking down enemies ten times faster than he ever had before. Caelus didn't have time to think about where this power came from, but he was certain he knew.

  With each domain he cleared, someone was there to greet him. From the Amber Lord Qlipoth, who raised their grand hammer in greeting and repaired a Curio he'd brought, to shapeless IX, who swirled around him and echoed a single phrase into the silent abyss, bringing calm to his restless soul.

  "You're back .  .  ."

  Every time, Herta's communication with him would cut out, and he wouldn't hear a word she was saying. The second she was able, she would speak again, gushing and giggling about how much research she could do with this kind of data. Caelus had never seen her so enthusiastic about anything, even when she first introduced the Simulated Universe to him. Some part of him thought it was cute that she was so dedicated to this, while most of him was just annoyed at having to be the one to gather data for her. Maybe he'd get a break after this.

  Eventually, he came up to the final domain: the boss. It wasn't a humanoid, nor did it have three phases, which made things easier. But that didn't mean it wasn't a struggle, especially alone. After thirty straight minutes of fighting, the monster fell with one final supercharged strike of his bat.

  As he stood there, panting and hoping it was finally over, a streak of rainbow light fell over his face. He looked up. Fragments of color burst in the clear, cloudless -it'd been cloudy seconds ago- sky.

  The light coalesced, fitting pieces together like a mosaic, solidifying into a figure made of crystals and glass and memories. They stood tall, even in a form much smaller, towering above all like a watchful statue. An observer, whose purpose was to keep history where it could not be forgotten. The veil of pearls across what Caelus assumes was their face clicked with every movement, and it was only due to that noise that he could tell they'd moved at all. They'd tilted their head down to look at him more closely. He'd look back, if only he could figure out what part was meant to be their eyes. Perhaps every fragment was. Perhaps none of them were.

  Fuli spoke before he got the chance, voice chromatic and pulsing, an echo of thousands others behind their words. They spoke, and in doing so brought their statement into truth. For though they may not know all answers, they remember everything, and that was enough. Their words were as much history as they were prediction.

  "Destiny has released its grasp. The strings are cut, the self free. A new path has opened the way to truth. The Polaris shines in the sky. The train of stars returns to the tracks to follow the endless journey. Be cautious. What awaits is all."

  The Aeon's gaze pierced through him as he tried to hold some kind of eye contact, which would be much easier if Fuli had eyes. They returned to standing upright, no longer looking at him. He didn't think they were, anyway, though it was hard to tell. The Remembrance said only seven words.

  "You have returned to which you were."

  Silence followed the Aeon's statement. They did nothing more, clasping together the crystals that looked the most like hands, and vanished into the code that built them. Caelus was left with more questions than answers, and no time to address any of it.

  Herta cut off his thoughts before they could spiral too far. He steadier his breathing as she talked, reminding himself that it was only a simulation. Nothing more.

  "Alright, I think I fixed the glitch in the system. You should be able to leave the Simulated Universe without any trouble. We'll talk back in reality; I have a lot to say to you. Be careful, you might feel dizzy."

  Without bothering to claim the rewards it look at anything else, he exited the simulation. The world spun when he returned to reality, immediately spiking nausea in Caelus's stomach. If Herta notices, she didn't bother commenting. She probably didn't, too wrapped up in recording data to care about him.

  "I can't believe you managed to talk to not just one, but all of the Aeons! Do you know how absurdly lucky that is?" She typed on some kind of holographic keyboard as she talked,  though he had no idea what it was attached to. "You've given me so much data to work with, it's insane. I'd say thank you, but I don't feel like it so just know this is helpful."

  He wanted to ask what she'd use it for beyond just studying the Aeons, but he was too exhausted to think about it all. All the energy he'd been using was finally drained completely, and if he took a single step, Caelus had a feeling he'd collapse. Herta kept talking, not paying any attention to him. He'd never heard her talk so much at once.

  "I'm going to start working on further research as soon as I can. Once I have that, I can- what are you doing?"

  Her slow pacing around the office eventually led her to face towards him again. This happened at the perfect time for her to see Caelus throw his jacket and bat on the floor, and promptly curl up atop his clothes. He mumbled a reply, already half asleep just from laying down.

  "Napping. I'm tired."

  "Hey, Stellaron twerp. Don't nap in my office."

  He buried his face in his arms, shielding his eyes from the lights. "It's just five minutes .  .  . Let me sleep .  .  ."

  Considering how he was already almost knocked out, and that it would be too much of a hassle to try and drag him somewhere better, Herta gave in. She had better things to be worrying about. "Fine. But as soon as five minutes go by, I'm waking you up."

  He had nothing to say about that, already fast asleep, curled up on the pleasantly cold floor.

  He opened his eyes to the sound of singing. The words were lost on his ears, but the voice singing them was soothing and warm. Caelus sat up, rubbing fuzz from his eyes. No longer was he laying on a cool tile floor, rather now he felt almost like he was floating. Looking down revealed that yes, that was exactly what he was doing. There was nothing underneath him but stars, only the universe's supporting palm kept him from plummeting into the abyss. It was dizzying to see, but the 'ground' beneath him felt solid enough that he didn't worry about falling. Still, he didn't look down again. Instead, he turned his gaze at the rest of his surroundings.

  There wasn't a lot to look at, other than stars and planets far in the distance. Memory resurfaced in his mind, of the last time he'd seen this place. He'd only been here once, back on Jarlio-V. He thought of it as an audience chamber of sorts, a place where he once caught the gaze of Qlipoth.

  With this memory in mind, he almost expected one of them to gaze upon him again. But he hadn't done anything to draw attention, so he doubted that was happening.

  Caelus stood up without much of a plan, stumbling as space shifted to support him. It rearranged itself to keep him steady, and while that helped make sure he didn't fall, it did nothing to stop how dizzying the fall looked. Endless, like if he slipped he would never stop falling. He steadied his footing, trying not to look down.

  The singing continued somewhere in the distance. He decided not to think about how sound was traveling in space. It almost sounded like the voice was calling him closer, guiding him with a melody that felt more like a lullaby than a song. He followed it, compelled by a force beyond himself.

  Walking was even more difficult than standing, but he managed by going slower. It was easier to do if he didn't focus on what he was doing, so he kept his gaze on his hands instead. In doing so, he took notice of a detail that he hadn't caught before.

  Although Caelus was certain he was dreaming, he wasn't in the body of Akivili. He'd stayed in his own, with the same clothes and hair and lack of fluidity. The Stellaron pulsed in his chest like a heartbeat, as if to remind him it was there as well. He ignored it.

  He stumbled his way through the dark, spurred forward by starlight and his own will to keep going. The voice got closer, words more clear the faster he closed the distance. At last, when he reached the swirling column of light at the center of things, he found the one singing that familiar melody.

  "Come with me, take the journey .  .  ."

  Caelus blinked, stopping in his tracks. There in front of him, swirling their gaze over the streaks of colored light that surrounded them, was Akivili. They were still humming the end of the song, the final notes drifting off into the cosmos. They'd taken the form of a young man, with dark skin and long, wavy locks. Part of their hair was braided, and they were in the process of finishing the rest.

  Guided by things he had no way of understanding, an urge he didn't know about until now, Caelus took a step towards the fallen Aeon. Perhaps it was to make sure they were real, that they weren't an illusion which would vanish as soon as he got close. Just as he thought, they didn't disappear, perking up and turning to look in the direction of his footsteps. Their gaze landed on his face first.

  Caelus didn't understand the phrase 'eyes lighting up' until now. Their eyes got visibly brighter as they rushed to get closer to him.

  Akivili's hands cupped his face much like Yaoshi's had before, although he doubted they were planning on kissing him. Their touch was soft, but not in the same way. Their hands weren't full of pity, didn't spread across him like a plague or blessing. It was love that surged to their fingertips, love for everything and nothing. Love for him. With this, they traced every feature of his skin, commiting it to memory and sinking the image into their head.

  "There you are," they whispered, relief and adoration mixing into one.

  Akivili's form shifted. They cycled through many different appearances, becoming a man with an unkept beard, a foxian with particularly fluffy ears, a mirror of Caelus himself, and so many others that he couldn't keep track. When they settled, he got a good look at last.

  Their body had taken on the visage of a woman who looked almost exactly like Caelus. The same silver hair, golden eyes, and bright smile. The only difference was that their hair was longer, and Akivili had a slightly darker tan. The closer he looked at them, the more familiar they seemed, until it clicked.

  This was their original body. Their mortal body.

  He stared, wide-eyed, as they smiled like nothing was unusual about this. Finding his voice was a struggle, but he forced the words anyway.

  "What- how are you-?"

  They laughed, a beautiful and lovely sound, something he wanted to hear so many more times. There was a distinct sadness to the very end, as they exhaled a long sigh. "I've wanted to talk to you for a long time, Caelus. And I have so, so much to say."

  Their hands moved from his face to his arms, as their smile softened. With no answer to his original question, and no change to ask again, he was led to sit next to Akivili in the place they had been resting. It was easier to stabilize himself, with them beside him.

  Akivili stared at him like he was the greatest thing they'd seen, like he was everything they'd ever wanted from the world. If he looked close, he could see the way their hands twitched with a desire to keep holding him. They didn't move.

  "I can't believe it, honestly," they said instead of moving, perhaps looking for a distraction. "I always hoped that whoever I'd become would be someone great. But the fact that it's you? The fact that you're alive, and part of the Nameless, and human, it's .  .  ." They tried to find the right words, voice breathless from the sheet force of their amazement. "It's- incredible, Caelus. You're incredible." Their eyes sparkled, adoration glimmering in their once gold -now silver and blue- irises. Caelus would have called them beautiful, if he hadn't been more focused on what they'd said.

  "Wait .  .  . Hold on, what? What do you mean 'the fact that it's you'?"

  His shock gave every word a sharp edge, biting into them even though he hadn't meant to. If Akivili noticed, and he was certain they did, they made no comment.

  "Give me your hand, Caelus."

  They extended their hand, and he didn't hesitate to give them his own. Confused though he may have been, Caelus trusted them. Plus, he wanted answers, and really hoped they'd stop avoiding the topic if he did what they asked. Their fingers entwined with his own, as both of their heartbeats began to sync. "Can you feel it?" They asked, voice barely a whisper.

  He could. He could feel everything, all of what they meant and some of what they didn't. He felt the way their heartbeats matched to a perfect rhythm, each exactly mirroring the other's. He felt every shift of their skin, every pulse of power, as if it was happening to him. And he felt how his soul and theirs latched together, how his soul clicked into place like a puzzle piece.

  Like the missing fragment being returned to the whole.

  Akivili didn't pull their hand away, even when they were sure he understood their message. The comfort in holding another person was something they both shared. Whether it was for his comfort or their own, he didn't know. They stroked circles across the back of his hand, and their fingers were warm, and he never wanted to let go.

  "It's beautiful, isn't it?" They said, splitting the silence but not shattering it. "You've been broken apart for so long, and I'm not saying I can fix that entirely. But I can put your -our- soul back together."

  Caelus turned his gaze towards the stars, looking for .  .  . Something, in the distant lights. They looked back, some of them blinking and flashing their brilliance. Others were content to remain dark, unseen yet always watching. The cosmos greeted him with a wave, and he imagined it would smile, if it had enough of a mouth to do so.

  "So .  .  ." He muttered, only a little more confident with the universe watching over them. Excitement set itself aside for the darker side of knowing the truth, letting insecurity and confusion have their say. "What does this mean? Am- am I actually you? Has my entire identity just been a lie?"

  Akivili laughed again, though it was not one of shame or mockery. They laughed because they understood every bit of his concerns. He wasn't really sure why they'd laugh because of that. Perhaps that was something only an Aeon would understand. Maybe that meant he ought to understand it. He didn't.

  "No, Caelus," they said as their giggles faded, "you aren't me. You never will be." In any other context, those words would be wholly negative. Now, they were endearing, almost hopeful. "You're something so much better. Yourself."

  Under the light of their gaze, some of the bite faded from his voice. He'd never meant to be harsh, but surprise had kept him from staying calm.

  "I don't- I don't understand. You just said that I'm who you turned into, or something, I-"

  They stared back out at the stars. It was only a bit easier to think now that they'd stopped looking his way. "That's right, I'm technically you. But Caelus, you aren't me. And I don't ever want you to be. You deserve to do just like that woman in purple -what was her name, Kafka?- said. You deserve to have your own story, regardless of your connection to me. Part of your soul might be mine, but that doesn't mean you ever need to become me." They ran a hand through their hair, untangling the small knots. "I wouldn't have told you so soon if it wasn't for you getting some of my memories back."

  Another piece of the puzzle clicked into place. Realization dawned in his eyes, and Caelus almost wanted to facepalm himself for not realizing sooner. "So all the dreams I've been having, they were .  .  ."

  "They weren't dreams, Caelus. You were living through my old memories. I'd say I'm sorry, but it's not as if I have any control over what your own brain shows you."

  Caelus went quiet, absorbing the information he'd been given and trying not to have a crisis. Akivili watched, silent as they were capable of being. They gathered starlight into their free hand, watching streams of void run through the cracks between their fingers. When Caelus relaxed enough that he wasn't on the verge of an identity crisis, they brought the conversation back in a different angle.

  "I noticed you met the others today, too. In that game world you were playing." He resisted correcting them about it being a game. He wasn't Herta, and so he didn't care. "You might not have realized it, but those weren't just simulations."

  He went stiff, still as a board, as understanding settled in his head again. "Wait- you mean I was talking to actual Aeons?!"

  They snickered, allowing the abyss to fall back to the pool beneath them, swirling it around like liquid in a wine glass. "Mhm, you were. Not fully; they would've broken that simulation if any of them showed up entirely." Akivili's expression dimmed, their sigh a mark of how they truly felt. "They .  .  . They miss me a lot. I know they do. So I guess it's no surprise that once you showed up, with a piece of my soul in you, they'd flock to your side. Many of us were close friends, or we tried to be."

  As he listened, Caelus wasn't entirely sure what to say. It was hard to comprehend the concept of beings as celestial as Aeons being friends with each other. He knew it was possible for Aeon's to be 'friendly', Xipe being an example, but it was strange to think about. Even stranger, was the thought that any of them might have missed Akivili, so much that they crowded around the smallest fragment of their soul.

  "They were glad to see me," he muttered into the silence that had settled between them. Akivili perked up, looking over at him. "They kept welcoming me back, telling me they were happy that I was there. I think they thought I was you, even beyond the simulation's code."

  "Yeah, that sounds about right. They'll learn eventually, but for now .  .  . Leave them be. They won't bother you too much, they just miss my company." Akivili's smile was as bright as he had expected it to be, but tinged within it was grief. Grief, regret, and something he couldn't identity. Their smile lost some of its light as they looked out to the galaxy around them.

  "I love talking to you, Caelus. I've been waiting for the opportunity for a long time, and I'm glad to have met you in person." They started out with something positive, perhaps aiming to soften the rest of what they had to say. "But I can't keep this up forever. You're probably going to wake up soon. I want you to do something for me, when you do." He tilted his head, a silent acknowledgement that he was listening.

  "Live your life freely. Live, love, and be happy."

  It was something of a promise, he realized. They were asking him to promise he would live a good, fulfilling life, even with the knowledge of what things once were. He could do nothing under the weight of this oath between them. Nothing, except nod. It was enough.

  "Good .  .  . That's good."

  Promise made and mission complete, a brighter smile found its way to their lips, and they used their connected hands to guide Caelus into standing. The cosmos shifted to support this, as Akivili adjusted them so they could look each other in the eyes. He couldn't tell what emotion they were staring at him with, but it felt a lot like love.

  "Isn't this exciting? It's like a new adventure, all for us- for you."

  Their excitement was hard not to be influenced by, and Caelus didn't try to stop the grin that slid onto his own face. Akivili pulled him closer, wrapping their arms around him in a tight embrace. He returned it with an equally strong squeeze. He wasn't sure why, but as he gazed upon the God, he knew this would be the last time they saw each other.

  Akivili focused once more on his face, staring into his eyes and his soul at once. "Take care of the Express, and the Nameless," they said, and some part of it was a request, the other a certainty. "I'm glad the train is still someone's home."

  "Yeah. Yeah, of course. It's .  .  . It's my home too, now. I've gotta take care of it."

  They pressed a kiss to his forehead, acceptance and love and grief all swirling together, and neither of them knew which emotion belonged to who. Words came to his mind at the same time they did Akivili's. The same phrase, with the same meaning.

  Caelus gripped their hands tight, willing himself to never forget how this felt. If Akivili truly would be gone after this, free to rest as they were meant to a thousand years ago, then he'd be the one to remember them, until the day he came to the same end. Their foreheads pressed together, the tips of their noses brushing, and they whispered the same three words at the same time.

  "I love you."

  It was not the kind of love that Caelus felt for his partners; the kind that made him want to hold them close and kiss their faces and never be alone again. Nor was it the love he gave to Himeko, Welt, Pom-Pom, and all others he considered family. It was not even the same love he couldn't help feeling for Kafka, the woman who -despite abandoning is on the Herta Space Station- had always been there, checking in, caring for him in the way only a mother would.

  This love, was far more complicated, tied to closely to his heart and soul that he knew, in every thread of his being, it was precious. This was the love given to a person intrinsically connected to him, in a way no other had been and no other would be. This was a love reserved for the other half of him, for the person who filled the cracks he'd thought would be there for eternity.

  This, was the love of a soulmate.

  Caelus laughed, not quite knowing why, and Akivili laughed with him. The stars echoed their joy, even as it was mixed with tears.

  He spun them around, fueled by a euphoria he didn't want to understand. Their laughter swirled together, a melody that was finally complete. Light sparks and flickered between their bodies, illuminating the abyss with a silver glow that he knew well. Both of their eyes closed against the bright warmth, and they felt nothing but each other.

  The light flashed with the strength of the sun, glowing in a burst of stellar radiance. Two became one as the spinning stopped, completion finishing off the show of starlight. Caelus felt nothing but air in his arms, where another had been moments before. There was the ghost of an embrace, the whisper of an eternal oath in the stars around him.

  He opened his eyes to see the world in a new light.

  A sharp pain brought him back to reality very quickly, uncerimoniously snapping him awake. His back hurt almost as much as his side did, although that might've been because he was sore from sleeping on the ground. The floor of Herta's office was remarkably uncomfortable.

  Speaking of Herta, she landed another kick at his side, only stopping when he groaned in pain. Her puppet stared at him with a familiarly dull gaze, voice as bored and monotone as it'd always been. She seemed to have gotten over her previous excitement.

  "It's been five minutes. Now get up, and get off my floor."

  With a glare that held no real malice, he stumbled to his feet, stretching in the hopes of clearing his back pain. It worked a little, but not much. Maybe Welt has something for this stuff, he thought, rubbing the back of his arm to get rid of the red indents.

  Herta's hands landed themselves solidly on his back, pushing him towards the door. "You've stayed long enough. Leave." He let himself be shoved, knowing he kind of deserved it for falling asleep in the middle of her floor.

  "Alright, alright! I'm going. See you next week, I guess."

  Outside the office, the space station was as quiet as he remembered. It wasn't silent, always filled with researchers doing experiments or discussing results. That didn't make it loud, that just made it noisy. There was noise and conversation, but none of it was personal. It was just individuals all doing things separately, in the same space.

  Caelus didn't bother staying any longer. He might normally have gone to visit people like Asta or Arlan, but he had too much to think about already. He doubted talking to them would help.

  His return to the Express was filled with many considerations. Now knowing the truth, he briefly attempted to reach into himself for the power of Trailblaze. It was a bit of a long shot to assume he could access the power of the Aeon, but there was no harm in trying. He did find something, much to his own surprise, but only the barest scraps responded to his search. It was enough to feel it pulse through his veins, nothing more.

  He returned to the parlor car, greeted with silence and still air. The others weren't anywhere around, and they didn't have any visitors either. He wondered if they'd all left the Express together for something. That was unusual, based on what he knew about them. Then again, he hadn't known them all for as long as they'd known each other, and he wasn't aware of everything they did. Maybe this was some group activity they had that he just didn't know about yet.

  He ignored the part of him that was upset by that.

  The only noise that separated the silence was footsteps. Small, bouncy-sounding footsteps, like someone was shifting from one foot to another. That, and music. Caelus walked to the back of the train, and there was the conductor, standing in front of the phonograph. They stopped shifting, just listening to the music that was playing.

  It was the same song he'd heard Akivili sing, in the same tone and the same voice. Every time he heard it, he always wondered why it was so familiar, but now he recognized it for what it was. Once he did, the reason Pom-Pom spent so much time listening to it clicked in his brain. He stepped forward, trying not let sympathy influence his actions. He'd rather not make the conversation awkward before it even started. The conductor didn't notice his approach until he spoke.

  "Pom-Pom? Are .  .  . Are you okay?"

  They jerked, and held back a gasp, startled by his sudden appearance directly beside them. Pom-Pom settled back to normal the second they realized it was just Caelus, even offering him a smile as they subtly wiped their tears away. (He pretended not to notice.) It wasn't as bright as he'd seen before, tinged with some sort of melancholy he hadn't seen until now.

  "Oh-! I'm fine! I'm just listening to music." They were very obviously not fine, but he wasn't going to point that out. "How did your tests with Herta go?" They weren't usually the one asking, so their question briefly surprised him. A moment later, he realized it was probably their attempt to distract him from the topic of their sadness. Caelus shrugged, sitting down on the floor beside them. He stared out the window and pretended he didn't know the truth.

  "It was fine. I didn't actually do a lot, just fought enemies like normal and 'gathered data' for Herta. I almost died so many times, and all I got in return was a five minute nap on her floor. It's ridiculous!"

  His impassioned tone wasn't entirely fake, as he did definitely believe it was ridiculous that he put him through all of that every week. It was just exaggerated for the sake of comedy. And it worked, the conductor's expression easing into a smile more familiar to his eyes.

  "At least she pays you."

  "Yeah, ninety Stellar Jades." He rolled his eyes far more dramatically than necessary, pretending to be outraged by the reward he got. "She calls it a 'reward', but I call bullshit. You can't even buy a train ticket with that kind of money! She's a scammer I tell you, worse than Sampo!"

  Pom-Pom laughed, and his 'rant' broke apart as he chuckled with them. Their laughter spun together like a stream of planets around a wandering star. It was natural, and soft, and he wondered how they ever could have laughed any differently.

  An idea slipped its way into his thoughts, a plan formulating before he had time to process what he was doing. The topic of Akivili stuck in his head, and Caelus knew that with his new understanding of things, he couldn't just leave this opportunity and not talk about it.

  To test the waters, he started out small. "She does give me some information, though. Stuff about the Aeons, like Akivili. I guess that's good enough."

  The conductor went quiet, shifting their eyes back to the phonograph, still playing the same song it has since the beginning. A small hum was the only acknowledgement his words got. Caelus took a deep breath, softening himself as much as he could when he asked his next question.

  "Pom-Pom? You were friends with Akivili, right?"

  They didn't say anything for a long time. Their eyes were distant and blurry, the kind of look a person only gets if their mind is somewhere other than the present. The only noise was the music filtering through both of their ears, but that was barely even background noise.

  When Pom-Pom came back to the present, their voice was shaky. "I wasn't just their friend. We were family, just like all of the Nameless were. The were all I ever had."

  Caelus nodded. He understood. There wasn't a lot to be said of it, nothing that he wasn't certain he didn't know. But he knew it'd make them feel better to talk about it, so he kept going.

  "You must've loved them a lot."

  Pom-Pom sniffled, shaking their head to disguise their tears as ones of dust or light. They both knew the truth, but they also knew that Caelus wouldn't be the one to say anything. He'd done his fair share of crying recently, especially on the topic of Akivili. It was only fair that Pom-Pom got to do the same.

  "Yeah. I loved them so much, more than I loved anything. It's been so long since they left, but .  .  . I miss them a lot, still." He listened as they admitted some of how they felt, deciding to push a little further. He was certain he already knew the answers to everything, having witnessed things firsthand, but there was always merit in asking.

  "How'd you feel, when they left?"

  "Hurt," they mumbled, staring at the phonograph like that was what they were talking to. "I was angry for a while. I thought it wasn't fair that they had to go and abandon everything we'd made together. I stopped being angry and just started being upset after a few years." They wiped their eye with the edge of their hand, probably hoping he wouldn't notice. He did. "I wanted Akivili back more than anything. I kept telling myself that one day they'd walk through the doors and hug me again, and we'd go on an adventure together. Just the two of us."

  A sting of pain stabbed through Caelus's chest. It was something close to regret. He let them talk as long as they wanted, because he wanted Pom-Pom to know that he understood. That he was sorry. He wasn't sure why it was him who felt so apologetic, when it was not him who inflicted such hurt. Perhaps that's because Akivili's emotions were his own, now. Perhaps that's because they always had been.

  "Did you at least get to talk to Akivili, before they died?"

  "Mhm. I was yelling at them the whole time, and they kept apologizing to me." Pom-Pom managed to be cute even while upset, in the eyes of the Nameless. If Caelus didn't have the mental image of the night they were talking about, he might've thought the same. "They promised me they'd come back, and we'd go somewhere fun together to make up for making me upset."

  Humming a muted response, he pushed some of the stray strands of hair out of his face. He didn't speak, partially because he was trying to figure out what to say. He knew what he wanted to tell them, but couldn't figure out exactly how to go about doing it. The song came to an end then looped again, restarting the same lyrics, strumming sound waves that played in his heart and the air.

  "I'll be waiting, 'til we make it."

  Listening to the singing of who he once was, Caelus thought of what he had seen in his dreams. Akivili's face, their expression warring between desperation and bravery that didn't match their tears. The conversation with Pom-Pom on the night everything came to an end, and how sincerely they had promised to come back someday. He thought of this, then of the last time The Trailblaze would speak to another, and made a decision. There was no better time like the present. He might not have fully understood what he knew or why, but he did understand that Pom-Pom deserves the same truth he got.

  "It was Andromeda, right? They told you they'd take you to the Andromeda galaxy."

  He didn't look, but out of the corner of his eye Caelus saw Pom-Pom go rigidly still. Their eyes widened to what would've been an almost comical degree any other time. They blinked, forced their expression into something more normal, and spoke in a voice that betrayed every bit of their confusion. 

  "It was, but- how do you know that?"

  Caelus didn't answer. He kept his eyes facing the window, watching the stars instead of Pom-Pom's face. It felt about the same.

  "The night that Akivili died, they changed the direction of the train. They told you they were sorry, but there was no point in Trailblazing if they couldn't do what they were destined to." Confusion mixed with anger as the conductor demanded an explanation. He didn't give one. "You tried to argue but couldn't stop them, so you said you'd wait a month or a thousand years for them to come back. They told you they loved you."

  "Caelus, how do you know about this?! It was over a thousand years ago, there's no way you should know what happened!" Their tone was sharp but not harsh, words not meant to hurt. This was more than a question asked in a moment of anger. It was a plea for whatever answers he could give them. He turned to face them, putting his hands on their shoulders.

  "Pom-Pom," he said, a little breathless from saying so much without stopping. "Let's set our course to Andromeda, after Penacony. We'll have a new adventure together, just like you wanted." His expression was a mess of emotions, all of which he felt and none of which he knew why. Some part of it was regret, another fear. Almost like he was pleading, praying that they understood what he was trying to say. Power pooled behind his eyes, shifting the colors around. It was a small change, his irises swirling blue and gold together before settling on lavender. But it was enough to capture the conductor's attention. A name slipped from their lips before they could stop it.

  ".  .  . Akivili?"

  He wanted to tell them no. Wanted to clear up their confusion, remind them that he wasn't the Aeon they were once so dear to. Because Caelus is not Akivili. The fact that he once was meant nothing in the life he now lived. He opened his mouth to say 'no', and then their eyes locked.

  In their eyes he saw hope. A low, begging hope, the kind that only exists in those who put their whole faith into a single thought. They were close to tears as they waited for the answer that would either mend their grief or shatter them all over again.

  Caelus saw all of this, and knew the right thing to do. Telling the full truth would do neither of them good. It would only further the conductor's grief, confirming their fear that the Akivili they once loved truly would never return. They were both aware of how things really were, but it was better to cling to hope rather than sink into despair.

  "They didn't lie to you. Akivili, they -I- promised, right? I'm here, Pom-Pom. I'm home." Shifting his language, referring to the Aeon as himself, was almost uncomfortable. But it wasn't wholly a lie.

  Pom-Pom stared at him without a word, and Caelus held their gaze. He lost track of how long they spend staring at each other. A tear rolled down their cheek, just one at first. Another slid down from their other eye, and the floodgates burst open as they let out a warbled sob. The conductor threw their arms around Caelus, squeezing tight.

  "You- do you know how long I've waited for you?!" Anger tried to find a place in their shaking words, and it clung to the first few. Yet, when Caelus closed the embrace, tears gathering in the corners of his own eyes, it washed away in place of relief. "I've waited for you to come back for a thousand years, I- I missed you so much!"

  One of his hands rested on the back of their head, supporting them so they stayed stable. The gesture made Pom-Pom sob harder into his chest. "I'm sorry. I never meant to keep you waiting for so long. But I'm here now. I'm here, and I'm not leaving you again." He stroked over their head, keeping them close until their tears slowed down.

  Pom-Pom sniffled, one of their hands balling into a fist and slamming against his chest. The hit had virtually no strength behind it, so it was more surprising than painful.

  "Hey, what was that for?" He chuckled, the sound more wet and trembling than a laugh should be.

  "Payback," they responded, doing it again with the same strength. "For making me wait so long." He didn't stop them, stifling another laugh that felt too close to a sob.

  They pulled back after hitting him one last time, wiping their tears with the back of their hand. Caelus dried his own using his shirt, just in time for the Express's doors to slide open. In stepped the rest of the Nameless, as well as a certain purple-haired Stellaron Hunter. He instinctively rose to greet them, pausing when he saw that Kafka was suddenly part of the group. He turned his gaze -golden once again- to the other four, hoping for answers.

  Himeko took the initiative to explain, smiling in a way she hopes would clear his confusion. It didn't, and kind of made him a little concerned about her.

  "She told us she wanted to see you. Don't worry, Dan Heng and Welt are keeping an eye on her, and she'll only stay for a few hours." Caelus hummed, looking over to Kafka with a suspicious eyebrow raise. She tossed her coat onto the couch, promptly sitting down. Her smile suggested visiting him was definitely not her only reason for coming. But there was softness in her eyes, and he knew that Himeko's claim was not based entirely on a lie.

  After a moment of deliberation, he shrugged, electing to remain unbothered by this. It wasn't like he could stop Kafka from showing up whenever she liked, even if he tried. Himeko sat on the couch with her, keeping a distance that didn't stay long. Nobody pointed out how in the next minute, they were side by side. Caelus took a seat with his partners on the other couch, while Welt remained standing, trying -like everyone was- to pretend this wasn't very awkward.

  Pom-Pom hopped up to sit beside Caelus, curling into the small gap that was between him and March. She didn't mind, patting the top of the conductor's head and shifting to the side so they had more room. If anyone noticed that the conductor's eyes were slightly more red than before, they knew better than to talk about it now.

  The silence was nothing short of uncomfortable, thick and full of tension that nobody knew what to do with. In any normal situation, they'd be getting Kafka out of the Express as quickly as possible. But considering they were the ones who brought her into the train, there wasn't much to be done.

  It ended up being Himeko who broke the silence, with a clap of her hands. She stood up and smiled, the kind of smile that everyone recognized. She had an idea. "Alright, how about we all watch a movie together? Her suggestion brought nothing but raised eyebrows her way, and so she elaborated. Not in the way they'd meant, though. "I bought a new film recently, but haven't had the time to watch it yet."

  Looks were shared across the room, as all the passengers debated over whether a movie night with a Stellaron Hunter is a good idea. It's not something any of them thought they'd be doing, but there wasn't much harm in trying. Mutual nods and hums of agreement took the place of uncomfortable quiet. Himeko smiled just a bit brighter.

  "Wonderful. Dan Heng, March, would you two set it up for me? I'll make everyone some coffee."

  "Please don't."

  Welt followed her, determined not to let her destroy everyone's taste buds with her odd concoctions. Kafka remained seated as she watched the Express crew return to semi-normalcy, and Caelus stared at her as she did.

  You're not supposed to be here, his gaze said, pointed and accusatory.

  And you are, hers responded with the same softness she'd given the day he woke up.

  They both stayed quiet after that. There was so much more to say. But none of it was appropriate for anything other than a conversation at the end of things, when the journey came to an end and the storybook's final page was turned. They'd barely finished chapter three; there was much to see before the finale.

  Everything was set in less than ten minutes, and Himeko returned with Welt behind her. She was carrying drinks, passing out one to every passenger- even Kafka and Pom-Pom. Caelus stared at the cup, wary of the dark color, but an experimental sip revealed it to be just tea.

  His partners returned to his sides on the couch, March once again having to squeeze herself in beside Pom-Pom. Dan Heng just took the other end without a fuss, adjusting some of his hair so that it didn't bunch up around his neck. Himeko pressed play from her own seat, and the movie started. It wasn't long before the Express was filled with laughter rather than silence. The tension in the train gradually faded, replaced by giggles at the comedy moments and cries of sadness when a beloved character died in battle.

  Caelus embraced this new sense of peace, looking over the others with a smile. A different image flashed over his eyes as he gazed upon the people surrounding him- an image of a time just like this. Laughter and sparkling smiles, a movie playing as the Nameless of millennia ago gathered around their Aeon, held close and kept together by shared dreams of a distant destination.

  Right at his side in both memories was Pom-Pom, always the one closest to him.

  Driven by an instinct he embraced without question, Caelus stroked his fingers over the conductor's head, pulling them a bit closer. Close enough that they could hear the slow tune of his breathing, the melody of his heartbeat mixing with the movie in the background. They smiled, relaxing in his loose hold.

  Amidst all of this, Caelus couldn't help but think of Akivili. He wondered if they'd be happy to see him right now.

  You really didn't break your promise, he thought, wondering if the God could hear him. If they knew the sincerity of that truth. He leaned back, looking out at all the people around him. March and Dan Heng, his partners since the beginning, his lovers who were ready to support anything he did. Welt, the grandfather figure he never knew he needed. Himeko and Kafka, the two women he considered his mothers- not that he'd ever tell either of them that. He already slipped up once by almost calling Himeko 'mom' a few days ago.

  He looked at all of this, saw the Nameless as they are, as they were. Watched them in the same way he was sure Akivili once did, with eyes full of love.

  Another joke on screen brought laughter back to the room, as their voices joined into a chorus he hoped would never end. Caelus laughed with them.

  We're home.