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When Cass wakes up, she keeps her eyes closed. Instinct drilled into her from her childhood. The first thing she always does is make sure she knows where she is.
In this case, she doesn’t remember. She’s lying on a bed, she can tell that much. There’s a familiar humming noise next to her and the sound of people talking out in a hallway, which indicates she’s probably at a hospital. The sharp pain in her right thigh and the dull ache in- she flexes her muscles- most of her body would support that theory.
So she probably hasn’t been kidnapped and won’t need to fake unconsciousness. Five seconds after waking up, Cass opens her eyes.
She’s in a hospital room, which isn’t surprising. It’s empty except for one chair, where Stephanie is curled up asleep. She’s in civilian clothes, but Cass doesn’t remember getting out of her Batgirl costume. Why aren’t they at the Cave?
She thinks back, trying to recall how she got here from patrol. There was a cult that wanted to blow up major buildings in Gotham to make a statement. What kind of statement Cass can’t remember, she doesn’t think it was very interesting. Just fanatical losers trying to inflict pain and suffering on everyone around them in the name of… was it Scientology? Her head’s fuzzy, she can’t be sure about that detail. She does remember that her family split up to defuse the bombs, then the cult members came out to fight them…
Oh right. The building fell on top of her. She got everyone out, but one woman was too slow and Cass had to throw her out at the expense of getting caught in the explosion. She managed to avoid getting burnt, but she couldn’t avoid all the debris. After that, she remembers being trapped under a lot of rock, with a metal bar jammed in her thigh.
That would explain the pain. And the bandages.
People had still been in danger, so she didn’t let the rest of the bats know she was hurt. She just told Oracle that she was stuck and unable to help them fight. Then, she began clawing her way out before her limited supply of oxygen ran out. She recalls reaching the surface, stumbling onto the pavement feeling dizzy and then… nothing.
Not to flaunt her detective skills or anything, but Cass is pretty sure that means she fainted.
Now, in the safety of the hospital, she checks her injuries thoroughly. She remembers a lot of blood, but no serious wounds. The cuts and bruises criss crossing her body do look pretty bad, but there’s nothing there that would actually hinder her.
The hole in her leg is… annoying. She’s fairly sure she can still walk on it, but she also knows not a single one of the bats will be happy with that. She can admit that it will slow her down, but even with a slight limp she can handle most of what Gotham throws at her. The sneaking around while pretending to agree with Alfred’s inevitable bedrest orders will be tiring though.
She sighs, deliberately loud. Steph jolts awake at the noise. Cass waves tiredly, hoping for a brief catch up on what she missed.
Instead, Steph grins. It's overly cheerful, bordering on manic. And just… odd. She’s hiding something, her body language is all over the place. Distressed and uncontrolled and tired with points of perfectly sharp and clear fury all the same time.
“What’s wrong?” Cass tries to sit up, but Steph reaches out and stops her. “Is the fight still going on?”
“Fight’s over, cult members have all been arrested, civilians are safe.”
Steph is still grinning. It reminds Cass of the Joker, and she feels bad for thinking that even though it’s the truth. She racks her brain to figure out what could cause this level of stress in Steph.
“Did you and Bruce fight? Or you and Tim?”
“Really?” Steph’s laugh sounds somewhat genuine, but also scathing at the same time. It’s impressive. “That’s your second guess?”
Cass just waits, unsure of what else to say.
“No, we didn’t fight. I’ve barely seen them at all actually. Bruce is probably pissed that I took you to a regular hospital but I’m pissed at him too so that’s fine.”
“Why are you pissed?”
“Because he fired me as his partner for being too reckless, but continues to enable the fuck out of you when it comes to bullshit like this .”
Cass blinks slowly, looking down at herself.
“I’m not doing anything.”
“You’re not funny.” Steph laughs again, but this time it borders on hysterical. “You’re really not funny Cass.”
“I’m not trying to be funny.” Cass feels herself growing annoyed too. “I just don’t know why you’re mad at me.”
“Seriously?” Steph stands up, and the smile drops a little. Her anger is winning over the hysteria. Cass would be pleased, if it wasn’t directed at her. “You seriously don’t know why I could possibly be mad at you?”
“I messed up, I got injured. You don’t have to remind me.” Cass snaps back. “But you’re always the one saying that it’s not my fault when I get injured. So why get mad at me now?”
“Cassandra.” Her full name sounds strange on Stephanie’s tongue. “You were buried alive under at least two stories worth of rubble. You had a rebar through your leg. And yet when Barbara asked you if you were OK, you told her that you were ‘just stuck’ .”
“I was.” Cass frowns. “I could move. I got myself out.”
“You could have died!” Steph screams at her now. “None of us knew how bad it was because you and your fucking saviour complex just had to pretend it was no big deal! The only reason I found you when I did was because I ignored Bruce’s orders and left the clean up early to check on you! And you know how I found you? Unresponsive, bleeding out in a pool of your own blood!”
Cass could say it wasn’t actually life threatening, that she would have called for back up if she actually expected to die. But looking at the tears gathering in Steph’s eyes, she decides not to do that.
The injuries don’t cause her pain, not in any way that actually touches her. But Steph’s distress, her tears and the fear in her eyes? They hurt. More than Cass expects them too.
“I didn’t mean to scare you.” Cass says quietly. “I’m OK, really.”
She takes Steph’s shaking hand, brings it up to her own cheek. She let’s Steph feel the warmth, feel her pulse flowing beneath her fingertips. Kisses the fingertips, allowing Stephanie to feel her breath with each gentle press of her lips.
“I’m here.” Cass whispers. “I’m alive.”
Steph crumples. Watching it feels worse than the rebar through Cass’s leg. One second she’s all righteous anger and erratic, jerky movements and the next she’s just. So small. No tension keeping her upright at all, every piece of her energy going into the large, wracking sobs that course through her body.
Cass holds her, let’s Steph cry it out. She whispers apologies, for what exactly she’s not sure. Cass knows her own limits, knows that even if Steph didn’t come Cass would have survived. But while she knows that she’d do it again, prioritising the civilians regardless of whether her injuries were actually life threatening, she does feel bad for the pain it would cause Stephanie. She hates that pain, more than she hates any physical wound she has ever been dealt.
“You were so pale .” Stephanie’s voice is half growl, half choking sob. “Just lying there on the concrete. I thought I was too late. I didn’t understand why the fuck you couldn’t just tell us -”
“I will.” Cass rubs her hand up and down Steph’s neck. “Next time. I’ll tell you everything.”
She’s not sure if she’s lying or not. She wants it to be true, and she hopes that counts for something.
Stephanie doesn’t believe her, Cass can tell that much. But she buries her face in Cass’s shoulder, and Cass understands. She wants it to be true, just like Cass does.
For the rest of the night, it can be true. Cass knows how to make it so.
She tilts Steph’s face up and kisses her. Steph doesn’t react with too much surprise, only a brief hesitancy for a second before she kisses back. She tastes like salt and cool night air, and it’s beautiful. She kisses Cass more carefully than usual. Cass doesn’t push it.
They can take comfort in what they have. Right now, Cass is grateful to be alive. Grateful that Stephanie is here with her. It’s enough. For her, and hopefully for Steph too.
They rest against each other, listening to each other’s gentle breathing. They’re both sitting in this hospital room, existing and breathing on this beautiful planet. Shaken and roughed up in more ways than one, but alive. And together.
“You’re not allowed to die anymore.” Steph mutters, her heartbeat getting steadier and her eyes growing drowsy. “You die too much. First with Shiva, then with the assassins. And then the Spirit World and now this. I only died twice. You have to let me catch up.”
Cass smiles, and kisses the top of Steph’s forehead.
“Sorry, but I always win. You know that.”
“Asshole.” Steph grumbles, but she snuggles down further at the edge of the hospital bed. “Next time I’ll just leave you in the rubble.”
Cass doesn’t need her body reading skills to know that’s a lie. She’s still tired and achy, but her grin is wide as she gives Steph one last peck on the forehead.
“Love you too.”