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“give me your hand,” rui demands, stepping directly in front of tsukasa as he holds out his own hand.
from his seated position, tsukasa has to look up to see rui’s face which reveals nothing but an unusual frown, more panicked than anything. tsukasa only tilts his head to the side, shooting the director a questioning look, though rui’s stern expression doesn’t falter one bit.
“your hand,” he repeats, narrowing his eyes as if his intentions should be obvious to anyone and that he's not asking anything out of the ordinary. he seemed frazzled, panicked, making the entire of this situation even more startling.
in utter bewilderment, tsukasa reaches his right hand up above rui’s, staring at him through multiple blinks. it seems, however, tsukasa didn't need to ponder any longer since rui quickly takes hold of his hand, placing it on his own and appeared to be examining it.
“i knew it. one of the metal pieces from my machine hurt your fin—“ was the only thing tsukasa hears escaping from rui’s mouth, or rather processes, as his mind begins to focus on the feel of the other boy's hand mere moments after their hands touch instead. the soft skin of rui’s palm gives such a delicate brush against his own skin, which in turn, makes him want to desperately press their palms together — an abnormal urge that makes his heart flutter and stomach twist. as their palms eventually touch, warmth rushes from his hand through rui’s cooler hand, like a cooling breeze, spreading to the expanse of his palm, reaching to the back of his hand and to the rest of his body.
what captures tsukasa’s attention the most is the tingling sensation that flushed through his palm, almost tickling it, but he doesn't feel the urge to burst out laughing at all. instead, a small shiver runs down his spine despite feeling warmer, but also warmer somewhere around his chest as it feels hotter everywhere as the seconds pass. for reasons he can't seem to think of, his chest feels full, an unknown void has been suddenly filled, where he feels strangely complete.
the moment finishes abruptly when rui seems to have finished examining his hand and drops it. he’s saying something, based on the movement of his lips, but tsukasa can't hear it. in fact, his heartbeat is rushing so loudly in his ears he can't seem to register anything at all. all he feels is the missing coolness lingering at his palm, slowly fading and replaced by his usual warmth, much to his dismay.
“this was a bad idea,” rui states, expression still grim, as tsukasa’s mind starts to fade back into normal. “you seem shaken up, i’ll go fetch a band-aid.” and off he went, scurrying off while tsukasa sat dumbfounded, perhaps from the injury.
except there was nothing more to his cut than a little tear of his skin, just rui’s hand which was supposed to be as innocent as a touch of concern, not something that should have sent blood rushing to his face. and tsukasa is quite certain no painful injury can bring such a.. softness along with it. a softness that only rui brings when he is around.
“i’m perfectly fine, rui!” tsukasa calls out to him, suddenly aware of the awkwardness of the entire situation. “..besides, an injury can’t stop me!” tsukasa flourishes in his success, thoroughly impressed with his ability for producing not one, but two coherent sentences after a strange short circuit of his mind.
rui stepped back into the room, skeptical look apparent against his knitted eyebrows, newly acquired band-aid in hand. without skipping a beat, he takes a seat next to tsukasa and lifts up his injured hand once more.
such a wave of blood to his face again, and such short-lived success!
——
one of the many woes about being in different classes, was the walk all the way to tsukasa’s classroom.
“rui! you’re here!”
it’s intoxicating how excitedly tsukasa had gotten up after hearing his footsteps, like maybe he isn’t bored of rui company, or that he had memorised the light tap of his shoes to know that it was him from a mile away. rui adorns a smile as he speeds up his pace of walking..
..and falls.
“—are you okay?” tsukasa gapes.
“i tripped over my shoelaces,” rui blinked sheepishly as he turned to face his untied shoelaces in shame. the both of them enter tsukasa’s classroom in order to not draw any more attention.
wordlessly, the moment they sat down, tsukasa’s right hand reaches out, once tucked near his chest against the table and migrates to rui’s abraised knee, rubbing gentle circles into the spot rui had fallen on.
“it minimise bruising,” tsukasa whispers in the empty classroom.
to minimise bruising, rui can tell himself now, but he doesn’t say a thing. tsukasa doesn’t even react either, or seemed to be fazed, as far as rui can see from the corners of his eyes, terrified of spotting any hint of discomfort in his expression.
they remain silent and unmoving like that, even when tsukasa’s thumb slows down, grazes the spot gently to check on the bruise, then goes right back to rubbing circles.
the room feels unnaturally warm today.
it’s only when tsukasa removes his hand to brush hair out of his face that he finally reacts, head jerking to meet rui’s avoidant eyes. pausing, he slowly blinks back at rui.
it is beyond impossible to read him from just these actions alone, so rui will play it cool, act like it’s no big deal that tsukasa had been so close to him for no particular reason other than to heal his bruise from his fall. unmoving, tsukasa looks entranced, eyes locked on his, as if in a haze he couldn’t break out of too. rui shifts uncomfortably in his own seat, suddenly having nothing to do with his hands.
the stare lasts for just a moment longer, before tsukasa shakes his head and turns his attention back to the hurt knee. rui’s heart remains rapidly hammering at his chest as he does the same. next, tsukasa leans in even closer.
on the surface rui looks calm, gazing steadily at the whiteboard up front, but there’s blood rushing through his face, with more blood roaring in his ears as he attempts to lean his leg a little to the right, in case it was an accident that tsukasa had been mere inches away from him, restoring that bit of distance between them to keep the thrumming in his chest to a regular, steady rhythm. he does this, but tsukasa then furrows his eyebrows while he grumbles, as he has to lean in even further now, and the pressure of rui’s heartbeat just chases right after him, his traitorous heart only excitedly thumping harder and harder.
his fumbling hand now finds purpose — to hide the growing smile on his lips as he gives in and presses back into the warmth.
tsukasa stifles a laugh. the sound warms something in rui’s chest. “does it hurt?” tsukasa manages through his fit of giggles, “i’ll be more gentle.”
shaking his head, rui mumbles something incoherent, making a face that tsukasa can’t quite decipher the meaning of.
rui’s bruise went away within a day.
——
“rui, your hair is tangled.”
“..i see. where is it?” rui blinks at tsukasa, who is frowning at him with a concerned furrow of his eyebrows. it is minutes before their next show.
“not to worry! i always help saki with her hair,” the star huffs with pride. “we can’t have you performing with a tangle in your hair, i’ll fix it.”
tsukasa moves to stand behind rui, looking intently at the hair in front of him. from the reflection of the mirror, rui sees that he is about to touch his hair but stops himself, but he finds that he doesn’t really mind all that much. he glances at the tsukasa’s face instead, taking in the wonder on his face.
“your hair.. it looks so soft. may i run my fingers through it?”
a strange question. “..sure, but shouldn’t you detangle it first?”
heart thrumming away, rui carefully watches the tsukasa’s amazed eyes in the reflection. after a few seconds, tsukasa nods and hums in agreement. he gently takes hold of the brush he found on the dresser, eyes squinting as he inspects where the tangle just was. nervous, rui thrums his fingers on his lap from the sudden attention.
“found it! now sit still,” tsukasa orders and rui nods.
he watches the boy behind him silently run the brush through his hair, managing to free some strands but quickly his eyebrow furrows again. “i missed a spot.”
somewhere off in his own world, rui can’t help but admire his skill when it came to caring for saki. from braiding hair to wearing makeup, his knowledge for all of such talent had been motivated by saki herself. tsukasa is calm, analyzing the situation and seeing what he can do. and rui definitely knew he was in his safe hands.
though, that doesn’t explain why his heart is pounding so quickly.
but with each run of the brush and each stroke of tsukasa’s cautious fingers, a fraction of worry slipped out of rui. shoulders that bore so much unspoken weight relaxed, and tsukasa watched in the mirror as rui let out a soft sigh. soon, tsukasa was just managing the last of rui’s tangle while the director himself hummed to himself.
tsukasa didn’t want to let go just yet, however. he had felt rui’s hair before, definitely. it tickled his face from the rare hug or graced his hand when he helped style his hair for a show. but this was different. this time he had an excuse to genuinely feel it, the strands of purest silk between his fingers. the texture alone was comforting for him, even more so when it was rui’s he got this opportunity with. the moment felt all too perfect—,
“..tsukasa-kun? you dropped the brush.”
“i-it’s okay, i got it! the tangle is all gone now,” tsukasa saves the awkward pause by laughing heartily, jumping back to admire his handiwork.
“why, thank you,” rui gushes, eyes still fixed on the star’s reflection. his heart skips a beat when tsukasa chuckles.
“of course! i know my stuff when it comes to hair.”
“and i have complete trust in that statement,” rui smiles at his brushed hair in the reflection. tsukasa’s heart skips a beat too.
he silently and carefully places the brush back onto the changing room’s dresser before glancing back at rui’s hair, double-checking for any final missed spots. but his eyes always eventually end up on his friend, staring at his content face through the mirror’s reflection.
tsukasa snaps himself awake from his daze when feels his cheeks heating up, causing him to frown and turn his attention to anything else. his hands suddenly feel empty.
and then, he realises that he may or may not have enjoyed touching rui’s hair way too much.
——
“come here,” rui says after one practice.
tsukasa makes a small noise of confusion at the director sitting on the floor. “but i am here, rui!”
rui sighs and his hands beckon him to come over. once, then twice. “here,” he says quietly.
“..are you alright?” rui seemed more exhausted than anything.
“over here.”
so tsukasa doesn’t think twice before getting up and walking a little to his right and very slowly lowers himself on the bare floor beside rui, being exceedingly careful not to startle a worn-out director. “the star is here!” rui lets out a slow hum in response.
before he can interrogate him further, a pair of arms come snaking around his waist and he’s pulled way too close, until his back meets rui’s chest and there’s a sudden weight on his shoulder that hadn’t been there just seconds ago.
“rui..?” the arms tighten around his waist, and tsukasa rests his hands on his knees because it felt the least awkward that way, being hugged from behind by his best friend.
it is purely silence for a brief moment. tsukasa settles into his strange new position and rui is simply resting — or falling asleep, tsukasa never knows with him, but it doesn’t really matter when all he can hear is the faint hums of satisfaction from the other. and the loud silence stays until tsukasa can’t help but burst with the absurdity of the situation. sitting on the floor, in their show outfits, cuddled by rui with little-to-no explanation.
“hey! if you fall asleep, i’m not carrying you home!” an empty threat, tsukasa urges, but his words contrast his gentler tone when he’s minimising his voice in order to let rui rest.
“not a bad idea,” rui’s reply is muffled and immediate. and then, quieter, as if embarrassed, “..let me recharge for just a little bit more.”
tsukasa stills. with the words caught in his throat, he doesn’t quite know what to say to that.
“tsukasa-kun is a very good battery,” rui continues, the warmth against tsukasa’s show outfit. “you won’t have to carry me.”
it isn’t an exaggeration when tsukasa thinks that his own heart is stumbling out of its rhythm when he hears his words. a battery? recharging? this was the strangest recharging method he’s ever seen! besides, he shouldn’t be getting flustered. if it were to help rui out in any sort of way, it must be normal, so he didn’t need to panic.
it was as if nothing out of the ordinary could be happening as rui went right back to his hums, the warm vibrations sending chills straight to his spine.
being touched by rui wasn’t new. fleeting touches and the occasional hug wasn’t new. but all his nerves felt like they were ablaze, every inch of his skin suddenly hyper aware of every sensation to exist in their surroundings. it could be the most common form of contact in the world, but being called over specifically, this want of rui’s being explicitly stated, in the simple phrase of needing to ‘recharge’ after practice, it was soft. the endearing nature of it all set off all the alarms to explode in tsukasa’s overclocked mind.
to be told that he is the source of rui’s energy. to blame tsukasa for feeling giddy at such a compliment would be outrageous.
“emu and nene could walk in right now,” he hisses instead of expressing anything he felt, a warning of sorts. but even with his eyes closed, rui can read him. he knows tsukasa truly doesn’t mean it because the pair have already changed out of their costumes and have no use of entering the room, having no reason to witness rui’s recharging methods. however, rui still plays dumb.
smiling lazily, he rolls his head over, much like a cat would, and replies, “so what if they see?” next, he hums, rolls his head back to its previous comfortable position, and says nothing else.
silence. rui wouldn’t care if their best friends saw.
and it makes tsukasa a little happier than it should. “even if it was someone else that saw?” a bold question, the kind that kept him up at night.
rui continues humming, idly pulling tsukasa closer to buy himself thinking time. but of course, rui wouldn’t mind. he didn’t even need the energy or the time to think it through. he’d say yes in a heartbeat.
“that would be fine too.”
“..good,” mumbles tsukasa, suddenly grateful that he has his back turned in this situation. his face was getting unbearably hot. “wait, no, i meant—,” the rest of his words get lodged in his throat before he gets another chance to speak again.
he feels the stretch of rui’s lips against the fabric on his shoulder. he was teasing him!
“it’s just good to hear, rui!” tsukasa repeats himself firmer the second time, as if doing so makes it make any more sense than it did the first time. so loudly so that it echoed throughout the room, an affirmation meant for him for than it did rui. it’s still endearing nonetheless. he doesn’t usually fumble with his words so much.
“i’m glad you don’t mind,” rui whispers, though he doesn’t really expect any coherent answer when the rapid thrumming underneath his fingertips has increased by tenfold.
it spurs him on even more. rui hugs him even closer, and squashes a cheek against his back, hair tickling tsukasa’s nape. “let me recharge for just a while more.”
no noises of protest. only the small, quick thumps of tsukasa’s heartbeat at his fingertips.
and so, they sit down in the costume room, recharging. eventually, tsukasa does get tired of being pressed forward so much so he leans back a little, prompting rui to recline against the mirror and pull him with. he makes sure that rui adjusts his neck accordingly before closing in on him again, burying his nose into the curve of where his shoulder and neck meet.
as much as he hated to admit, he was enjoying this as much as rui seemed to have. tsukasa thinks he’s getting recharged, too, with rui’s arms locking around him.
they stay like that for a while more until the door opens and someone walks in. “—wah!”
though rui’s grip doesn’t falter, at all even, or give tsukasa the chance of falling out of his embrace to explain himself.
“you didn’t tell me you guys were dating?!” emu spots them straight away and dashes forward when rui’s unfocused gaze darts up to the sound of the door, then sends her a sweet smile. “i must tell nene-chan!”
tsukasa shoots rui a panicked look. what if he thought this was weird?!
“..emu! what were you doing here again?”
“oh, right! nene-chan and i were about to leave, so please lock up for us!” she says, smile never faltering even at the strange sight before her. tsukasa, too embarrassed by her sudden revelation, can only manage a squeaked out ‘alright!’ with a pathetic nod.
as emu skips out of the room with all the carefreeness in the world, it suddenly hits him. all of it wasn’t a ‘friends activity’. he wouldn’t allow anybody else to do this, neither would he do this to someone all the other times they had gotten so close, and it hit him like a bucket of cold water.
..how was he going to explain this one now—?