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From the second Gojo first laid eyes on Megumi, he had one thought in his head.
I won't let him down.
Maybe because meeting Megumi occurred just a few days after Geto left, or maybe something in the kid just spoke to him - Gojo didn't know, and frankly, he didn't care.
He only knew that, after all that happened, he couldn't let this boy down like he had let so many others.
He'd already lost too much. He didn't know - maybe it was the way Megumi queried after Tsumiki's happiness, maybe it was how deep the kid seemed to understand at just six years old - but he would lay down his life for the boy, and that was it.
Six years old, and he's already gone through so much.
I can't let him grow up unhappy. Toji was already too much for him.
Sometimes Gojo wondered at Megumi's unnatural maturity.
It was uncanny for someone so young to be so understanding of the world's issues. The way he bluntly stated so many things about his father without a care in the world intrigued yet unsettled Gojo.
He grew up too fast.
But Megumi always possessed a knowledge that was equal to any middle-aged man's. There were too many instances he acted more like an adult than his age, and each time it happened, Gojo's heart ached for the boy. He was too kind, too kind to be living in the world, too kind to be related to the one Gojo Satoru.
Gojo was nineteen, and he was content.
"Hey 'miki!"
"Welcome back, Satoru!" Gojo had insisted on the two of them calling him by his first name, although most of the time Megumi refused to say it, calling him by "Gojo" instead.
"It's so good to see you!" Gojo smiled, patting Tsumiki's head affectionally. "Where's 'gumi?"
Tsumiki's face fell. "He locked himself in his room after he came back from school, I'm not sure why and he won't tell me what's wrong!"
"Really?" Gojo hummed, a mild feeling of concern rising in him. "Any ideas?"
Tsumiki shrugged helplessly.
"Alright, 'miki. You can go and finish reading the book you need to work on for your project! I'll check up on 'gumi!" Tsumiki nodded obediently and quickly ran back to her room.
Gojo watched her go, before approaching Megumi's room quietly and calling, "Megumi?"
He listened at the door, and a moment later a grunt answered him. The worry in Gojo's heart increased hundredfold. Megumi sounded ... like he was down with a bad cold.
"Can I come in?" Gojo called softly. A faint "no" answered him, but it was stifled and it sounded hoarse. To further prove his point, he started hearing faint coughing in the room.
Gojo sighed and gingerly opened the door, only to find a slightly terrifying sight. Megumi was curled up on the bed, shaking with presumable cold, even though he had clutched his blanket tightly around his body. He let out a tiny sneeze and buried his nose into his pillow, shaking so much the entire bed was swaying.
"Megumi ... how are you feeling?"
A muffled "terrible" answered his question. Gojo let out a breath he had been holding and thumbed his fingers through black hair.
"When you're sick, you know you can tell me or Tsumiki, right?"
"Don' wanna ... bother you or 'miki..."
Wow, Gojo thought, the kid must be really tired to be using Tsumiki's nickname. His eyes landed on Megumi's desk and his blood ran cold when he saw a bottle of what seemed like medicine standing on the table.
"Megumi, did you take the medicine?!"
Gojo must've sounded more panicked than he'd foreseen, because Megumi lifted his eyes blearily from the pillow. "Why d'you sound so scared? 'M not a child, I know good med'cne when I see it."
His voice was slightly slurred, which only served to make Gojo panic more. He strode over to the table, grabbing the bottle of medicine and nearly slumping over with aching relief when he saw the appropriate readings on the label. "Jeez, 'gumi, don't scare me like that!"
"Not 'm fault you can't read labels."
Gojo let a small smile tug at his lips as he crouched by Megumi's side and pressed a hand on his forehead. "You still have a fever."
"It's going down ... since I took ... the medicine..." Megumi was definitely tiring now, and his eyelids started to droop. Gojo sighed. "Oh 'gumi, why didn't you tell someone?"
"Feel ... like a burd'n ... don' wanna ... annoy others," Megumi mumbled, burying his head into the pillows.
Gojo froze with a start, hastily dropping down to eye contact with Megumi. "Oh, 'gumi, never say that. You're not a burden, alright? It's okay to ask others for help, you're not inconveniencing them."
"You s're?"
"Absolutely. Now stay here, I'll get you an ice pack."
"Like ... I could go anywhere else ... in this state."
Megumi's words were swallowed by a huge yawn and another sneeze. Gojo pressed a kiss to Megumi's forehead, and was surprised when the kid didn't even protest, instead shifting closer to the warmth.
Before he left the room to get an ice pack, he looked back fondly at the little figure lying on the bed. I promised myself I won't let you down, Megumi. I intend to stick to that promise.
Gojo was twenty-six, and he was tired.
As he stumbled through the door of his house, shutting it clumsily behind him, he made a beeline towards the couch, intending to rest on it until he'd caught his breath and his head had stopped spinning. What he didn't expect, however, was to discover a spiky sea-urchin head sleeping peacefully on the couch already.
He mumbled a quiet "what?" under his breath, groping for the light switch near the door and flicking it on. Megumi didn't even stir from his sleep.
Megumi was normally a very light sleeper, so for him to sleep so peacefully must mean he had a long, very tiring day. That was when he noticed a still-steaming cup of what seemed like milk tea.
Confused, he meandered over to the table and took a closer look. There was a tiny little note, written in Megumi's neat scrawl, next to it.
I know something bad must've happened so I made you some tea. Tsumiki is already sleeping. Stop being a mindless idiot and acknowledge the existence of self-care.
~Megumi
Something unfamiliar welled in Gojo's throat as he read through the note a second time. The kid didn't know the full extent of the problem that he was facing, yet he'd done his best to care for Gojo.
Gojo wasn't emotional most of the time, but he already felt the impending prickliness in his eyes that signaled a storm of tears. Sniffling quietly in order to prevent Megumi from waking up, he picked up the hot mug and took an experimental sip.
His eyes instantly widened in surprise. It was his favorite taste exactly, with just the right amount of milk and tea mixed together, giving it a rich, creamy taste without losing sight of the traditional leafy twinge. Megumi had added just enough sugar, too - he didn't know how the kid knew his exact tea preferences, but as the liquid warmed his mouth and slipped down his throat, he found tears sliding down his face.
Gojo was twenty-eight, and he was scared.
The stench of blood burned itself in his nose as he ran through the alley, Six Eyes scanning the area for some glimpse of the child he had raised. "Megumi? Megumi?" he called, panic seeping into his tone.
There was no reply, and he felt sick. Then his eyes swept over a half-hidden figure collapsed on the ground, where all the puddles of bright red were coming from.
"Megumi!" He was practically shouting at that point, but Megumi didn't stir. Oh god, Gojo prayed. Please don't let him be dead. Please don't let him die. I can't lose him. I can't let him down.
With bated breath, he pressed a finger against Megumi's neck.
When he felt the faint, yet steady pulse thrumming in Megumi's neck, Gojo nearly collapsed in relief. Instead, he picked the boy gently from the ground, heart aching at Megumi's anguished expression. Of course the higher-ups would make him exorcise curses until he collapsed; to them, Megumi was nothing but a weapon, and Gojo felt an urge to rip them limb from limb if he ever laid eyes on them again.
"'Toru?" Megumi mumbled, and Gojo's heart stuttered at the mention of his nickname. "Tha' you?"
"Yea, 'gumi," Gojo whispered. He let out a shaky laugh. "You scared me back there."
Megumi muttered something unintelligible and pressed his face against Gojo's chest, eyes closing. Then Gojo heard the tiniest "'m sorry", and he looked at the figure in disbelief.
"What could you possibly be sorry for, 'gumi?"
"'M too weak ... couldn't take down the curses withou' getting hurt..."
"No, no, no, no, no," Gojo frantically shook his head as he headed out of the alley. "It's not your fault, Megumi. It's the higher-ups' for giving you such a draining mission. Never say that, okay? You aren't invincible."
Megumi could only nod weakly against Gojo. The white-haired man grasped his body and warped back to Jujutsu Tech, hurrying Megumi up to Shoko for treatment.
After Shoko was done with him, Gojo sat by Megumi's bedside and waited for him to wake up.
"Y'know, he's tired. He probably won't wake up soon," Shoko's clear voice rang through the ward as she stepped in with a bottle of water in one hand and a packet of junk food in another.
Gojo only shrugged and continued keeping vigil at Megumi's bedside. "I still want to be there for him."
Shoko sighed and placed the bottle of water onto the tabletop next to the bed, nudging Gojo's hair with the junk food. "Drink. Eat this snack. You won't make Megumi wake up by worrying yourself sick."
"Shoko ... why does Megumi always blame himself?" Gojo asked, sounding vulnerable for the first time in a long while.
Shoko paused just as she was about to exit, turning around to face her old friend.
"I've told him many times that it's not his fault, but even with things he can't control, he always feels that he could've done better," Gojo confessed. "Even when - even when I killed Geto-" he swallowed -"he made me some tea, but the next morning he was upset with himself because he didn't stay up until the time I came back."
"It was objectively three o'clock in the morning," Shoko reasoned. "A young kid couldn't possibly stay up that late, even if he wanted to." She patted her friend's shoulder, mildly surprised to find his Infinity turned off. "He's just a pure, sweet soul, and you know when someone is sane and joins Jujutsu Tech. Don't worry, though. He'll be find. He's a strong kid."
Gojo nodded, though still unconvinced. Shoko, sensing that, quietly asked, "Why don't you just tell him outright that you love him?"
Gojo gave a start and stared up confusedly at Shoko. She sighed at his reaction.
"I know that you love the kid. Why not say so?"
"I ..." Gojo trailed off, thinking. Why hadn't he?
"Because ... I'm scared," Gojo finally admitted defeat and slumped over on his chair. "You know the risk that comes with being one of the strongest's loved ones. What if he's taken away from me? What if I die and he's got no one left? What if ... what if I let him down?"
Shoko sighed sympathetically. "Gojo, worrying about this is besides the point. Megumi's a nice guy, he just lacks parental love. He probably thinks you don't really love him because you've never said so. And I hate to say this, but you've been an actually responsible parent most of the time. You won't let him down. You raised the kid. You know what's best for him."
Gojo nodded mutely, then resolved his gaze back to Megumi. Shoko shook her head and said, "Drink that water." She left, closing the door behind her.
"Megumi ... I'm sorry," Gojo spoke quietly to the empty room, clutching Megumi's hand in his. "I know I've probably lacked the love I should've shown you in your younger years, because I'd had a lot to do. But ... I love you." You're the only one I have left. Suguru's gone, Shoko's not as close to me anymore, Yuuta is training abroad, Yuuji is busy learning from Nanami. You're the only one that still stayed.
Megumi stirred, his eyelids fluttering, and Gojo barely had time to register the astonishing sight before Megumi rasped out, "I ... love you too ... dad."
Gojo was twenty-nine, and he was confused.
Because why was Yuuji staring at him like he was a ghost when Gojo announced he was going to go on a shopping trip to restock junk food for Megumi and Tsumiki? It was typical.
"Gojo-sensei..." Yuuta began, eyes soft with concern and sympathy. "Megumi's dead."
"Huh? No he isn't!" Gojo smiled brightly, turning around to open the door. "In fact, just this morning he told me he wanted some of those seaweed teriyaki snacks ... Tsumiki wants them too!"
"But isn't Tsumiki-" Nobara began, bewildered.
"-dead?" Maki finished.
"You all are funny today!" Gojo beamed. "Of course not, or else why would I be buying them food? I'm off, now! Take care of yourselves for, like, thirty minutes!"
He skipped off to the nearby store, whistling brightly, leaving the thoroughly confused second- and third-years behind. Shoko stepped out of Jujutsu Tech to watch Gojo depart, sighing.
"Shoko-san, it happened again," Yuuji mumbled. The normally energetic boy slumped over, tears filling his eyes. "He just ... he just refuses to believe that Megumi - Megumi's dead." Yuuji gulped, sobs heaving his body as Nobara rubbed sad circles across his back.
"Shake," Toge sighed, sadly looking across the distance.
Shoko followed their stares across Jujutsu Tech, a heavy sadness weighing her heart.
Gojo would rather die than think he killed Megumi to stop Sukuna.
How long is he going to spend in this state of denial?
He isn't going to think Megumi's dead if he maintains his views that he can't fail Megumi.
Gojo ... what are you now?