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Patton was frowning in concern, his attention focused on one of the other sides. Of course, all of them- aside from the one being stared at- had noticed, and they all knew why.
Janus hadn’t slept at all in 2 days, and he hadn’t been sleeping very well in general lately. And, clearly, that was taking its toll, because they’d all just watched Janus walk into a wall without noticing, and now he was just standing in the middle of the kitchen.
“Uh… Janus, are you okay…?” Patton asked tentatively, knowing the man had been particularly irritable lately.
Janus blinked a few times, slowly, before looking around as if he forgot where he was.
“What?”
“Are you okay?” Patton repeated, voice somewhat louder.
The deceitful side rubbed his eyes before responding.
“Yup. Fine.”
He almost immediately proved himself wrong as he stumbled on his way toward the coffee machine.
“Oh, for crying out loud, just go to bed!” Roman exclaimed.
But Janus ignored him, trying (and mostly failing) to press the correct buttons on the coffee machine.
“I think Roman’s right, Kiddo,” Patton agreed, worried that Janus would end up burning himself once he figured the machine out. “You seem… pretty tired. Maybe taking a nap would help?”
Finally, Janus figured out which button made the water start boiling.
“No.”
Patton frowned again, glancing over to Logan.
Logan sighed.
“Janus, getting a sufficient amount of sleep is essential for daily functioning,” he explained. “So it would be advisable for you to go to sleep.”
“No,” Janus said again.
“Is there a particular reason why?”
“Because fuck you.”
“Janus!” Patton admonished. “Language, Kiddo!”
“You’re not my father, Patton, and we’re in our thirties.”
Virgil, seeing the hurt look cross Patton’s face, felt his own irritation spike.
“You don’t need to be an ass just because you don’t want to go to bed,” he hissed. “What are you, a toddler?”
Janus rolled his eyes, not responding.
For a moment, the kitchen fell almost-silent, aside from the whirring drip of the coffee machine and the clinking of forks on plates of eggs.
“What’s gotten your snanties in a twist, anyway?” Remus joined in, his mouth full. “I’m pretty sure I took the monster out from under your bed, so you should be good now.”
“… Wait, you put a monster under his bed?”
“Yup.”
“ Remus. ”
“Hey, not my fault they like it under there. Maybe if he didn’t shove so many socks under his bed, my monsters wouldn’t think it’s so comfy.”
“Can you not comment on the tidiness of my room?” Janus growled. “Besides, I’m sure there are far more socks under your bed, Remus.”
“Yeah, and that’s why I ran out of room for my monsters under there.”
Janus let out an annoyed sigh and ventured away from the counter. At first, no one was really sure where he was going, since he started walking toward the middle of the room, suddenly stopped, turned toward the fridge, opened it, stared for a minute, and then closed it again without removing anything, shaking his head as he did so.
“Uh. Whatcha looking for there, Janus?”
He started making his way toward the cabinets, his mumbling voice only barely loud enough for them to hear it.
“Cup.”
“Ah.”
Then, Janus reached up and pulled the cabinet open, grabbing the first mug within reach.
He promptly dropped it on the floor, pieces of ceramic shattering across the tiles.
“AH!”
“ Dude .”
“Shit!”
Janus just stared down at the broken mug for a long moment, as if he didn’t quite comprehend what had just happened. Then, with a deep sigh, he shuffled over toward the closet to get the broom, avoiding the shards more out of luck than intention. Patton stood from the table, walking forward.
“Hey, how about I help you with that?” he offered.
“No, I got it,” Janus muttered, waving a hand.
He then started trying to sweep. With the handle of the broom.
“I’m pretty sure you don’t.”
“Oh, shut up, Virgil.”
The anxious side shot him a glare, which was promptly ignored.
“How about we make a deal?” he huffed. “I’ll stop talking if you go to sleep .”
Janus seemed to consider it as Patton gently took the broom from him and herded him away.
“No,” he ended up denying.
“Seriously, why? ” Roman groaned. “Just go to sleep! Heaven knows it’s impossible to get you out of bed in the morning, so why won’t you go to bed now?! ”
“Again, because fuck you.”
“That’s it!” Virgil exclaimed, standing from the table. “Either you go to bed willingly, or I’m getting Remy.”
“Good luck with that,” Janus challenged.
Taking the challenge as it was, Virgil took in a deep breath before shouting:
“REMY!”
A second later, Remy had appeared in the kitchen, holding a tumbler of coffee.
“Oh my god, whaaaaaaat?” he whined, clearly not wanting to deal with them today.
“Janus hasn’t slept in 2 days, and he’s still refusing to go to bed.”
At this, Remy turned toward the scaled side and found him standing there with his eyes closed. A second later, he jolted out of his brief doze, crossing his arms. This did not hide the fact that he was swaying.
“Jesus fuck,” Remy cursed under his breath. “The hell is wrong with you?! Go the fuck to sleep!”
Janus just gave him the bird. Remy raised an eyebrow.
“You know, I don’t have time for this, so let’s just get this over with.”
And with that, Remy grabbed Janus by the arm and started dragging him out of the kitchen, which wasn’t very hard because Janus was far too tired to fight him. The others followed behind the pair as they made their way to Janus’s room, Remy kicking open the door once they arrived. Then, he unceremoniously snatched Janus’s hat from the top of his head and shoved him onto the bed.
“Now go to sleep,” he ordered sharply.
“Nooooooo,” Janus denied, trying to get out of the bed.
Remy’s just pushed him back down. Easily.
“ Sleep , or I’m sprinkling sleep sand on you.”
“Wait, can he do that?”
“Apparently.”
“I don’t want to.”
“Don’t care,” Remy shot back, folding half of Janus’s blanket over him, seeing as he was still laying on top of the second half. “Eyes shut. Now .”
When Janus still didn’t comply, Remy let out a long sigh and started rummaging around in his pockets, eventually pulling out a tiny satchel. He opened it and reached in two fingers, pulling out a pinch of purple powder. Janus tried to avoid the sand as Remy sprinkled it over him, but he ended up getting tangled in the blankets, rendered immobile.
“No… monster… closet…”
Within a few seconds, Janus was asleep, his snores quickly filling the room.
“Well, my job here is done,” Remy announced.
He disappeared, leaving the conscious sides to stare at Janus.
“… Is anyone else concerned about what he said about the closet?” Virgil asked, eyeing the door warily.
“Remus, did you put any monsters in his closet?” Patton questioned, prepared to scold.
“Who, me? Of course not,” Remus denied in mock-offense. “Besides, he doesn’t keep any socks in there, so the monsters don’t really like it.”
“Why don’t we just open the door and check?” Logan suggested.
Without waiting for any agreement, Logan walked over and pulled the closet door open.
Inside, standing as still as a statue, was Bruce Wayne, AKA Batman.
“What the actual fuck .”