Work Text:
Logan whimpered as he held tightly to his stomach.
He had been working on his laptop all day. He knew he shouldn't have, but he had gotten so caught up in his work. He had been editing for Thomas, but then he would get distracted by a phrase he didn't know, then found himself scrolling down rabbit holes of random different things, just to remind himself he needed to get focused back on work, just to do the same thing all over again with another new concept. Logan enjoyed learning, but this time it had been a bit to his own detriment.
And at the cost of missing dinner, he realized, when he looked over at the clock and saw that it was nearly one in the morning. Logan had found himself in positions like this before. Where he realized he had gotten so enraptured by his work that he forgot to eat or sleep or go to the bathroom. Normally, he would just slightly chastise himself for not paying closer attention to his needs, but this time was different.
He could tell. He felt slightly more off-kilter. His hands and legs shook, and as he bit back another whine, Logan could only come to one conclusion.
Not only was he incredibly hungry, he was also incredibly small.
Logan stumbled a bit as he got up from his desk. A couple of pens fell off the edge to the floor and Logan pushed them out of the way with his foot. He could pick them up later. Right now he needed something to eat before he went to bed.
He looked over at his clock again and felt a bit of loneliness at the fact it was far too late to be waking someone up to help him. He knew Roman and Remus had both told him multiple times that if he was little at night he could come get them for any reason. Logan didn't want to. They needed their sleep and him waking them up seemed rude. He was only going to wake them up if he was sick or had a nightmare.
Even then he was hesitant about it. What if he did it for something that wasn't a good enough reason and they never let him do it again? What if next time he really really needed them?
It was better for him to figure it out on his own.
Logan managed to shuffle his way to his door and he put on a pair of blue house slippers to prevent his feet from getting cold. He took a step out of his room and mapped out the path to the kitchen in his head. Hallway, stairs, living room, kitchen. He really hoped there was something easy to grab to eat.
Logan tiptoed into the hallway, still looming around. The need not to be seen as a burden weighed heavily on Logan's mind that night, even as his thoughts became softer, he was still far more insecure than he would ever admit to.
All the doors were closed. The only one that had any lights on was Virgil’s, which made sense. Virgil probably was still awake, and that was kind of nerve-wracking. But Logan was at least 92% positive Virgil was wearing his headphones. Still, stealth was his goal.
Remus was probably up too, Logan realized as he traced his fingers along the wall, tracking where he was in the hallway, stepping on the quietest places. But Remus still slept in the Dark Side, even if they had all been accepted. That almost made him want to reach out to Remus. He would probably make him food. But it probably wouldn't be all that edible. That's why both the twins were his caregivers. They tended to balance each other out.
Logan managed to get to the kitchen without making too much noise. Logan wasn't sure if he was glad he succeeded or not. It would have been nice to have someone check on him.
Logan looked around the dark kitchen and he had no plan for what he was going to eat. He couldn't cook anything or use the microwave without waking someone up. Which meant something cold.
Logan opened the fridge and saw a jar of jam. It would be the easiest thing to eat right now. He looked between the jar and drawer that held the spoons. It wouldn’t be nice to wake someone up right now.
Besides! He was doing a good job getting food now so he really did deserve having a bit of a treat. Logan grabbed the mostly full jar and then a spoon from the drawer. He struggled a bit with the lid but managed to unscrew it.
Logan leaned against the counter eating jam straight from the jar. He wiggled a bit as his hunger discomfort left. Logan got through the whole jar quickly, more hungry than he realized.
He looked over towards the pantry cupboard. Honestly, it would still be easier to have more jam than to wake someone up to cook him something. Logan grabbed a new jar and twisted the lid to get it open. Unfortunately, the lid wasn't opening.
Logan frowned at it before twisting it harder. He struggled a bit with it before the jar slipped from his hands and fell to the floor, it shattered loudly against the floor.
Logan froze, staring down at the mess he had made. His adult brain kicked in for a second, helpfully reminding him that glass was very dangerous. But unfortunately, all that did was scare little Logan and had him keep his feet planted to the ground.
Now Logan was in a dangerous situation. Those were really important. He hugged himself tightly, closing his eyes. He knew that if he was in danger, he was supposed to either get big or get a big. Logan didn't think he could get big in his current state. He felt shame and fear and anxiety about getting in trouble. That thought made him hesitate for a second. He really didn't want to get in trouble. He had done all this to try and not bother anyone, and it had all been in vain. But Logan could practically hear Roman tell him he had to get someone. No one would be mad about the mess. Maybe they would be disappointed he had gone out without any help, but that was better than getting hurt by trying to clean this all up on his own.
So, with a slight whimper, Logan hugged himself a little tighter and summoned Roman.
Roman took a minute to rise up into the kitchen. He was still very much half asleep. "What's going on?" He asked, rubbing his eyes and blinking. He saw the mess on the floor and must have not seen Logan's face because his first words were, "This isn't my fault!"
"I know." Logan said, hugging himself tighter.
"Lo? Oh! hey no it's okay!" Roman said, stepping forward before Logan held both his hands out.
"It's glass." Logan said, worried that Roman would hurt himself. It was bad enough that he had woken Roman, he didn't want to get him hurt! Roman would never help him again if he did!
Roman nodded, "Yes, that's a good call. Hold on."
A couple moments later Remus appeared and in true Remus fashion decided to try and lean on Roman as soon as he was called. Of course, Roman side-stepped him and Remus fell to the ground.
"Why is the ground sharp?" Remus asked unfazed by the glass in his arm.
"I don't know, why is the ground sharp?" Roman asked crouching down next to Remus. Logan felt awful, Remus was hurt and Roman thought it was Remus' fault and now both of them were going to fight and it was his fault!
Logan started crying, he slapped both hands over his mouth. Remus and Roman looked towards him. Roman looked panicked. "You're making it worse!"
"You were the one that shoved me into glass." Remus said, wiping a jam-covered hand on Roman's face before sitting up. He turned towards Logan, "No one's mad."
"Ro's mad." Logan said, causing Roman to stop before he could say more.
"Yeah, but Ro's ALWAYS mad. Not at you." Remus reassured him.
"He's mad at you." Logan pointed out, feeling a bit frustrated that they weren't understanding. He had caused the mess and they were bickering with each other! They should be mad at HIM!
"That's always a given too." Remus said with a smirk, before snapping haphazardly swiping the jam and glass on his nightshirt back to the floor. If he was injured, and surely he had to be, he wasn't making any complaints about it. But that only made Logan more upset. He had hurt Remus, and they didn't even seem fazed at him for it.
"Are you injured?" Roman asked, finally speaking up and walking around the mess to Logan. He slowly guided Logan back away as Remus got to work scooping up the jam and bits of jar into his hand with no gloves or anything. Logan felt his legs unfreeze when Roman led him back, but that didn't mean he felt completely free from his scared state.
He shook his head no in response, finding words just a bit hard now. Roman looked him over anyway, paying close attention to his feet and hands.
"Even if you had stepped forward, at least you had on shoes." Roman said mostly to himself. He must have determined that Logan was glass-free, because his next action was to pull Logan into a tight hug. "I'm glad you're okay, that was probably really scary huh?" He asked, and Logan just shook his head, hiding his face in Roman's chest. This didn't feel right. He didn't deserve to be comforted after he had done something bad. He knew earlier he had used the thought of no one being mad as an aid in convincing himself to get help, but now that it was happening, it just felt wrong.
"I'm sorry." Logan cried into Roman's pajamas, unsure if he had even been heard as his cries got lost in the fabric.
Roman started to comfort Logan before speaking over his head towards Remus, "No, put it in the trash!"
"It's fine!" Remus said.
"No! Trash!" Roman said, Remus groaned at that. Logan could hear Remus putting the jam and glass into the trash can. Roman hugged Logan, "Let's get you to bed."
Logan whined upon hearing Roman say that, hiding himself further. No! Not only because he was still hungry, but he also felt like he didn't deserve to just get tucked in and doted on by Roman. He pulled away from his caregiver and stepped back, hugging himself tightly, and shaking his head. Tears continued to streak down his eyes, and when Roman tried to step closer towards him once more, Logan shook his head, stopping Roman in his tracks.
"You're supposed to be mad." Logan argued. Perhaps it wasn't a logically sound argument, but he was operating on kid logic at the moment, his adult brain now far too emotionally and physically tired to offer any advice. He was just too little, and too upset. Kid logic said that if you break something, you get in trouble. If you break a rule, you get in trouble. If you hurt someone, you get in trouble. All of these things had happened! Why weren't they putting him in timeout? Why weren't they lecturing him?
"What?" Remus piped in, walking back over. He was sticky with Jam, though he didn't seem to mind all that much. "Did I get jam in my ears or something?" He asked, sticking his sticky fingers into his ears. Logan cringed, then felt guilty for even feeling any sort of emotion other than remorse.
"It's a minor accident." Roman said soothingly. "We aren't going to be mad about accidents."
"But I broke jam! and I ate jam! and I stayed up way late!" Logan argued. He didn't know why he was arguing towards him being in trouble. He didn't want to be in trouble but the logic demanded that he was.
"Pfft that's nothing!" Remus said. "Virgil gets up to way worse shhhhh-stuff," A very sharp side-eye from Roman. “- and he is an adult!"
"Yeah, but adults are allowed." Logan said weakly.
"Everyone makes mistakes. " Roman said softly before "Nothing that can't be cleaned up."
Logan didn't feel convinced but he did feel a tiny bit better.
"Here." Roman said, summoning a wet cloth into his hand. "Would it make you feel better if you helped to clean it up?" He asked. Logan thought about it. He did feel pretty bad that Remus had cleaned up most of it, except for a bit of jam and the sticky residue on the floor. He nodded a bit. He would feel better, he wouldn't feel like he'd done something wrong and made them clean up after him.
"Okay, wipe up what's left. Remus got all the glass." Roman spoke more gently than Logan could ever remember. Adult him might have gotten curious about that. Wondering if Roman knew how awful it was to feel guilty. But all observational skills were slowly fleeing Logan as his heart rate began to settle. He was feeling safer and secure again, and that meant he was feeling very sleepy again too.
"Good job." Roman said as Logan bent down and wiped away what remained. He could hear the twins whispering behind him as he cleaned, but didn't feel the need to try and listen in, mostly focused on getting the rest of the mess up.
"You still hungry?" Roman asked when Logan stood up from cleaning. Logan felt sick at the idea of getting more food, especially since he just dropped a whole jar of jam. He shook his head.
"Well let's get you up to bed then." Roman said, gently taking Logan's hand to lead him out of the kitchen. Logan looked back towards Remus slightly worried they would be leaving him behind. Remus however was right there following them, he smiled when Logan looked back at him.
They got Logan to his room, Roman frowned at the state of Logan's desk but didn't say anything. It was probably pretty clear that he had been working recently. His laptop was still on with a spreadsheet pulled up.
"Let's get you in some fresh pjs, yeah? Something without jam?" Roman asked. Logan looked down and saw a bit of jam on the edge of his pants.
"You need pjs anyway, unless you want to sleep in jeans." Remus commented, going over to Logan's dresser and pulling out a set of soft blue pajamas.
"No one other than Virgil sleeps in jeans." Roman said, stepping over to save the work on Logan's laptop before closing it.
Remus stepped over with the pjs. "You want help getting changed squirt?"
Logan did want help getting changed but he wasn't sure if that was too much to ask for. This had been a lot to get in the middle of the night and he should probably quit while he was ahead. Still, he found himself nodding. Roman helped him take off his shirt and slid the new one on him, Remus helped him step out of his jeans and into the softer pjs. It felt nice to be in pjs.
Logan yawned, he wasn't hungry enough or panicked enough to stay awake. "Let's get you in bed." Remus said. Logan was about to walk the few steps to bed when Roman scooped him up in his arms and set him in bed.
"Want this?" Remus asked. Logan looked over to the other side of the bed and saw Remus had his paci hooked around his finger. Logan gave the faintest nod. Remus smiled at him and leaned onto the bed, slipping the soother into Logan's mouth. He sighed around it contently, before turning to look up at Roman.
"If you need anything, you can always come get me. Even if it's small, but especially if it's important, like making sure your needs are met." Roman said before gently tapping Logan's nose. Logan nodded, thoughts about Roman being upset with him slowly sinking away. Roman would never be mad at him for getting what he needed, how could he think so silly?
"Me too! And you can come get me if you need something illegal too." Remus piped in quietly. Logan giggled despite himself. Yes, he could always trust Remus too.
"Night squirt." Remus said, leaning on the bed again and blowing a raspberry against Logan's cheek. Logan laughed again and squirmed closer to Roman, who had also leaned close.
"Goodnight, sweet prince." Roman said, kissing Logan's other cheek. Logan yawned and smiled, before snuggling down into his bed, feeling safe, secure, and sweet.