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Ever since the Nameless departed from the Xianzhou, Dan Heng has been thinking intensely about his encounters with countless strange and unique people.
To his dissatisfaction, most of them had only wanted to talk to him about his past or his status as the former High Elder.
The one giving him the biggest headache was undoubtedly the man only going by the name "Blade".
With many of his previous incarnation's memories regained, Dan Heng has also seen the truth of that man's identity.
He was surprised to say the least. Knowing that the true love of the man's life, Dan Feng, has perished, he does feel more sympathy for Blade's suffering.
And...he understands why Blade can't let
go of the past so easily.
So as their path keeps crossing with the Stellaron Hunters, hostility turns to indifference and eventually familiarity.
They're able to have fleeting casual conversations…if you could call it that.
He learns that Blade mostly spends his free time practicing his swordsmanship or humors Silverwolf.
He learns that Blade has little care for himself, but shows loyalty towards his fellow teammates. Whatever the relationship between him and Kafka is, however…Dan Heng would rather not know the details.
He's a man of few words...Dan Heng can appreciate that. He also notices how Blade averts his eyes from his cold emerald glare, yet seems to pounce and bore into him with his eyes when Dan Heng looks away.
He's a little too obvious with his intense staring.
So much that others notice, which Blade doesn't care about at all. It gets so bad that Dan Heng finds himself having to hold March back from giving the guy a mouthful.
They don't talk about the past. Though Dan Heng suspects that Blade has a clue that he now knows much of what happened back then. He sees no point in bringing up the subject though, worrying that it might set Blade off to start stabbing him again.
It would only be when they're once again tangled up with the Stellaron hunters that they're alone and Dan Heng decides to tend to the reckless man's injuries.
The mission was unexpectedly difficult so far and they had split off into small groups. Dan Heng ending up with Blade was usually the outcome everyone would try to avoid.
With a stern look, he focuses the flow of the water on the gaping wound on Blade's upper arm. Dan Heng feels weird about using these powers, in the back of his mind he prays that those horns
don't pop out again. The tail would be even worse.
Surprisingly, Blade's not looking at him this time.
"You can control the blood flow. I assume you haven't tried."
"No...I wasn't aware."
Dan Heng is surprised that the other man talked first.
It puts him at ease just a little.
"It makes sense. I'll try."
"You don't use these powers often, do you."
"No."
Dan Heng is concentrating. Feeling the water flowing through the man's body is a strange sensation. The blood is pumping steadily with each
heartbeat, that undying heart which seems to be beating just slightly faster than usual.
With his eyes closed, Dan Heng's fingers trace damaged skin and flesh. A tingling sensation spreads in his fingertips as he brings the blood flow back to normal and stops the injury from leaking. He's surprising himself a little. Using these powers to cause devastating destruction was a lot easier than this.
"You didn't need to do this. It would've healed either way."
"I know. But the pain could have hindered you in battle."
"Unlikely. I'm used to it."
Dan Heng furrows his eyebrows slightly. Whatever happened to "thanks"??
He pulls his hands back and cleans the blood off.
...Blade stares again.
He seems to have noticed the annoyance in Dan Heng's face, but says nothing.
The man almost seems lost in thought.
Dan Heng finally decides that he can't take it anymore. He side-eyes Blade coldly and speaks quietly.
"You certainly also never get tired of gawking at me...it's quite bothersome."
"Not my problem."
Dan Heng grits his teeth and feels himself losing his cool, a rare occurrence. He can't believe the audacity of this guy. If March was here, he wouldn't have stopped her from unleashing her rage.
"...I look nothing like him anyway. There's nothing for you to see."
The man gazes at Dan Heng calmly
and doesn't answer right away.
His voice sounds hollow once he speaks.
"..I gave up trying to see him in you a while ago. Imbibitior Lunae. He's...gone."
There's a hint of sorrow in his deep voice.
But Dan Heng feels no pity at this moment.
"You can stop the staring then."
"Ah....I apologize. I can't grant you that wish."
And now they've circled back to the beginning,,
"Fine." Dan Heng hisses and flashes his fangs for only a second. "You win."
Strange. The other man doesn't react triumphantly, but simply looks away, having lost interest as soon as he's won the exchange.
Dan Heng almost wants Blade to keep looking now that he's earned it. It's not that he hates the attention entirely, it's the fact that he can't decipher Blade's intentions which makes him uncomfortable.
Is it longing, disappointment, a silent rage?
Could it be lust?
Dan Heng is ashamed to admit he's considered it as a possibility, now knowing the nature of the craftsman's and Dan Feng's relationship. The idea of that makes his stomach twist with nausea. He knows people desire him, it's no secret at all. He remembers how people at the space station whispered behind his back. How men and women alike stare when he walks past. A few people have even tried to ask him out, but so far he declined all of them.
To Dan Heng, intimacy is something
so foreign and far away.
Having grown up in a dark and cold prison he didn't experience warmth until residing with the Express crew. Prior to that, huge crowds had caused him anxiety and being touched at all felt violating.
But after befriending March all that had quickly changed. Her affectionate and cheerful personality had helped him adjust a lot faster.
So far, he had only shared an experimental kiss with her, but it hadn't made either of them feel any particular way. Maybe that was just due to the fact that they both didn't have any experience, but he quickly realized the real deal was supposed to feel much different.
So...he has admittedly imagined himself with many different people. Even if he is barely attracted to them, the thought at least crosses his mind.
Pondering what it would feel like to be touched by them in a loving way. And of all of them, the dark-haired Stellaron hunter invades his mind the most.
Yet...ever since awakening his powers, he hasn't been afraid of him once.
And looking at him now, it's Blade who really seems like nothing but a shadow of his old self. Breathing because he's forced to, sitting there slumped over not caring at all how much pain he's in.
What a miserable existence.
Dan Heng might as well allow him to stare if that's the only thing giving this sick man a semblance of joy.
Dark stains are forming on Blade's
stomach and abdomen. He seems to be far more injured than he's giving away.
Dan Heng has had it with the
recklessness. Shaking his head, he leans forward and undoes the buttons of the man's dark coat, he's greeted with bandages completely soaked in blood. The smell hangs in the air heavily, numbing his senses for a moment.
"What are you doing. You're wasting your energy." Blade comments, but watches him with intrigue, eyes fixed on Dan Heng's face.
As the vidyadhara begins to heal him, their eyes occasionally meet.
But feeling the way the blood flows through Blade's body is much more intimate than that. He wonders if Blade can feel it too. The way the water has connected them.
Dan Heng wonders if the man knows how his own heart beats fast with anxiety and anticipation. The distance between them seems to fade away each second that he spends exploring these foreign bloodstreams. These powers…he hadn't imagined that something like this was even possible with hydromancy. It's as if for just this moment, he's feeling the exact temperature and rhythm of Blade's heart. The man's essence can be observed and controlled by him so easily, if he wants to.
"Is this exhausting for you?"
"Huh?"
Dan Heng blinks away his daze.
"...You're turning red."
Ah. "No- I'm just not used to it…it's
strange to feel all of the water inside someone's body. It's…amazing."
"Hm..." Blade suddenly smirks. "I thought you might be getting flustered."
"Huh?!"
Dan Heng's eyes widen and he struggles to find the right words.
Worse, he can feel that the horns and pointy ears are back. Blade is taking note of them growing with a small unnerving smile. Dan Heng feels exposed.
The vidyadhara bites his tongue and avoids Blade's predatory gaze.
He's about to pull away his hands from the man's chest, when he suddenly finds himself held in place by a firm hand. The black haired man's head tilts as he drags him an inch closer and Dan Heng– he lets him.
It's all happening so fast.
He's sure the way his heart beats out of his chest is audible to them both, his face feels so hot it stings.
A nauseating heat pools in his abdomen.
The last time they were this close, so close he could taste Blade's breath mixing with his, it had been when they were trying to mortally wound each other.
But Dan Heng isn't scared, he's…
This situation isn't so different from the usual chase between them.
Because the current look in Blade's eyes is one of pure excitement that he's barely managing to subdue.
Yet…he seems to wait for Dan Heng this time. Waiting for his next move in their game of back and forth that they play.
With half lidded eyes and heavy breathing, Dan Heng gathers himself.
Slowly, he raises his free hand and covers both of Blade's eyes. The man beneath him parts his lips in surprise and keeps quiet, bottom lip trembling.
Time seems to slow down.
Dan Heng feels more comfortable this way.
He's determined, yet shy like a deer as he lowers his head and closes the distance between their mouths. Instantly he's hit with a rush of excitement so strong it numbs his mind for a moment.
They're barely even moving their lips together, yet he feels like his head is about to explode. He can't believe he's actually doing this, but it feels…comforting…like for only this moment, him and this man are basking in each other's warmth. A warmth that Dan Heng had been longing after for an unbearably long time.
Blood bubbles beneath Blade's skin, his lips turning red as Dan Heng curiously sucks and nibbles on them. It surprises him how easily Blade gives in, his head tilted back, hands holding him loosely and how he parts his mouth at his will so easily. Though Dan Heng can feel how the tip of his tongue occasionally searches for his, a sneaking attempt to have more of him.
It's as though Blade stops tensing up after all this time now that he's being gently held by another.
Dan Heng likes him better this way.
When he finally pulls away, that initial anxiety has faded. In all honesty, Dan Heng feels heavenly and brimming with confidence as he leans back into his own space. To his satisfaction, Blade is absolutely kissed to speechlessness.
Now it's his turn to look flustered.
Covering the bottom half of his face, Dan Heng smiles to himself with satisfaction. He wins this one.
"I…it looks like we've wasted enough time here. We should get back and regroup with everyone."
Blade opens and closes his mouth, but no sound comes out. He slowly stands up, but this legs tremble for a second.
Oh, this is…Dan Heng feels too powerful right now. He managed to subdue the man's wild temper without having to use his powers at all.
■□■□■□
Back at the Express, they're all sat down and scattered across the train after an exhausting mission. Although Kafka and Himeko keep glaring and silently battling each other with their eyes, the atmosphere is relatively laid back.
It's not unusual for Dan Heng to relax by himself at a time like this, so no one questions him eventually slipping out into the hallway after a while.
His thoughts wander to the dark haired man as he walks past a few rooms.
His destination is the infirmary.
Something in him insists on seeing Blade one more time before the Stellaron hunters depart. Although he hasn't really thought about the right thing to say after something like this. Maybe…he should've told his friends first.
"Dan Heng."
Blade makes his presence known, his deep voice is like a whisper. He rarely ever actually calls Dan Heng by his name, so for a moment the vidyadhara just stands there slightly dumbfounded.
Blade's stands leaned against the infirmary's doorframe, coat hanging over his shoulders. Although his upper body is otherwise without clothes, fresh bandages cover up most of his skin. Some of them have bled through already.
Dan Heng steps closer and keeps his composure. He crosses his arms.
"You're up already."
"And you're here when you should be with your friends." The way Blade says it almost sounds bitter.
"What is it? Couldn't wait to see me again?" He raises an eyebrow, but his voice doesn't have that provocative tone.
Still, Dan Heng rolls his eyes.
"Like you weren't the one who made the first move…I'm here because..I wanted to see if you have anything to say. You didn't talk to me the whole way back."
Blade mirrors the way the other man crosses his arms and closes his eyes.
"I have nothing to say."
Of course.
"Then why. Why did you hold me in place? Why do you always stare like you're lusting after me?? Have you ever considered how uneasy it makes me feel?"
Blade furrows his eyebrows harshly. "You think that's why I observe you?"
"Yes."
"Well-" Although Blade seemed surprised a moment ago, he's suddenly hesitating with his answer, like he isn't sure of his own reasoning anymore. Finally, he sighs wearily.
"Someone like me is long past the time where I would indulge in such relationships…you can interpret my staring however you like, but I can assure you that you don't need to worry about me making any more advances. It would be a mistake to do so…"
Dan Heng is instantly overcome by confusion. For some reason, those words sting in his chest, a feeling of disappointment he hasn't felt before. So what if Blade isn't interested in him. But calling it a mistake??
"I didn't regret it. I didn't mind it. So don't call it that." He speaks coldly.
Silence, Blade is taken aback. Dan Heng kind of enjoys how often he can catch the man off guard.
"...I was actually curious to try it with someone. And I think it went well."
Blade shakes his head in bewilderment at those words.
A smile finally creeps upon his hardened features and he looks to the side.
"You were curious, huh…I didn't know that that was-…how terrible of me..to steal your first kiss. Although I can't say I feel bad about it…"
"Don't start thinking you're special. I don't make a big deal of first times when there's going to be countless other similar experiences."
"Ah…does that mean you're not planning on letting me go easily?" Blade whispers as if someone was listening in. He seems genuinely curious. Dan Heng takes a step closer.
"It depends. You can leave if you want to."
Blade gazes down at him with wide eyes. It's true that Dan Heng wouldn't mind that much if the man left now and never talked to him again.
But part of him feels selfish, almost possessive. The tall intimidating man in front of him had controlled his life with fear for a long time. Now, Dan Heng feels like it's his turn to haunt him…even if this approach is much different.
He tilts up his chin and gazes at the other expectantly. Blade's eyes flicker like candles, seemingly entranced by that small movement. Like a moth to the flame he moves closer and Dan Heng knows…he's got him.
Carefully, a bruised and bandaged hand moves a streak of hair out of his face. It lingers there and Dan Heng swears he's never seen this man move so gently. He almost wants to speak up and comment on how Blade was never this careful with him before. But right now he wouldn't dare break the tension building up between them.
Dan Heng tilts his head, ever so slightly leaning into the hand caressing his face. He blinks once, then shuts his eyes.
Anticipation eats at him, but he doesn't need to wait long for that warmth to envelop him once again. It's only his second time, yet moving their lips together feels so natural to Dan Heng. Blade's mouth is hot and he sighs quietly in between breaths.
This time it's Dan Heng who wishes he could melt and sink into this feeling forever, he's sure there's nothing close to this. Even as he's slowly pushed against the doorframe and a firm hand finds his waist, he doesn't break away but instead moves in closer. God, that feeling in his stomach is like a boiling pool of water, firing him up to dive deeper.
He wants to see what delicate tastes and noises the other man can give him.
As they both open their mouths and their tongues twist around each other, Dan Heng can't help but be aware of how obscene this whole thing is.
He had never expected himself to feel so eager, so ready and willing to be this intimate with someone. Maybe fate had kept it from him for so long for a reason, because he was bound to become obsessed right away.
Blade pulls away first.
For a moment, both of them breathe heavily and stare at each other's messy and flushed faces. It's clear that Blade doesn't even have the capacity to tease him with a few mean words right now.
Dan Heng narrows his eyes.
"Tired already?"
"Ah- God…you're crazy.."
This time, Blade doesn't hold back as much. Holding Dan Heng's chin in place, he gives himself access to catch his tongue. The smaller man gasps, but the sound of surprise quickly turns into a quiet moan. He hadn't expected someone sucking on his tongue to feel so delightfully arousing.
He feels like his head is spinning, and so he barely registers Blade digging his teeth into his bottom lip. Like a starving animal he licks and sucks on the small injury until the taste of iron becomes noticeable. It stings a little.
Dan Heng pulls the hair on the back of his neck and glares at him.
"Don't push it…"
"Aw…can't handle me being a little rough?"
Dan Heng narrows his eyes and caresses the man's neck.
He's about to lean back in when a third voice suddenly chimes in.
"Ahem,, Is everything okay here…? Dan Heng?"
Both of them turn to the voice and separate like they're allergic to each other.
In the hallway stands Stelle, one hand reaching towards her weapon, eyes darting between the two.
"Did that guy hurt you? You're bleeding…"
"W-What? Oh- no, don't worry."
Dan Heng immediately gathers himself and straightens his back as he walks toward her.
"He was just…trying to provoke me. I had it under control. Let's, uh…let's go back."
"Right.." She glares daggers at Blade, who seems quite unbothered, amused even.
"March is waiting for us in her room."
■□■□■
"Dan Heng!! Where were you!?"
March jumps up from the bed cheerfully and grabs him.
But her smile turns to horror as she spots the blood still leaking from his lip.
Dan Heng had been doing a bad job at hiding it,,
"Are you okay? Here, I have paper tissues somewheree…" She searches her pockets with a frown. Stelle side eyes Dan Heng. Could she be suspecting something already?
"He was with that creepy guy…he was getting waay too close in my opinion."
"You have to show him who's boss, Dan Heng!! You can't keep letting him harass you now that you're way more powerful than him!"
He sighs and shakes his head. Dan Heng doesn't want to hurt Blade. Especially not after what happened between them just now..
"No, I-...you two. I'm not just going to beat him up for annoying me a little."
"You're so soft sometimes, ugh. I know being peaceful is something you like, really strongly believe in, but man.." March sighs.
Stelle decides to finish the sentence for her. "...sometimes you gotta send a message. It's not like the guy can even die. Just rough him up a little. Although…maybe he would enjoy that. Urgh." She grimaces.
"Okay- no one is getting beaten or roughed up."
He sighs and rubs the bridge of his nose.
"I-…damn it. I have something to confess to you two."