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Aziraphale awoke to a strange sensation. Something was not as usual.
It hadn't been that long since he'd gotten into the habit of sleeping, even if only for a few hours, but he always woke up in a tangle of arms and legs because Crowley had somehow wrapped himself around him. Whether at the beginning or in the middle of the night.
That was the strange feeling. No tangle.
He reached out behind him and found nothing but emptiness and cold. Which meant that Crowley had left the bed some time ago.
Aziraphale opened his eyes wide to see that it was still dark, and that was even stranger. Crowley must have been very discreet because Aziraphale was a light sleeper and hadn't noticed anything.
A little worried, he looked around and was relieved to see that Crowley's clothes were still there. Still, he decided to get up, and after grabbing his robe and putting on his slippers, he made his way down to the first floor of the shop.
When he reached downstairs, he saw that there was no light, then he immediately spotted the outline of the demon in front of the bookshop window, illuminated by the dim light of the street lamps. He was sitting in the red armchair, and despite the dim light, Aziraphale could see clearly from his posture that something was wrong.
He was hunched over, his arms around his knees, his head resting on them.
Aziraphale's concern grew as he approached the demon.
Not wanting to startle him, he murmured softly, "Crowley... my dear?"
The demon raised his head and turned his eyes toward him, and his expression was so sad that Aziraphale rushed over and knelt in front of him. Then he took Crowley's clenched hands and asked him in a worried voice, "Crowley, tell me. What's wrong?"
But the demon shook his head, not answering.
Aziraphale insisted, "Please, tell me, there's no way I'm leaving you in this state. Unless you tell me you want to be alone."
"That would be better, yes."
Aziraphale froze, not sure if he'd heard right.
He murmured, "Do you want me to leave?"
Crowley didn't answer, just nodded.
Aziraphale swallowed, but even though the rejection was painful, he had to respect Crowley's wish, so with a heavy heart he started to get up. However, just as he was about to let go of the demon's hands that were still in his, they held him back and he heard Crowley faintly plead, "Stay..."
Wanting to be sure, he sought the demon's gaze and when he caught it, he said softly, "Crowley, dear, you need to be clear with me, and whatever your decision is, I will not hold it against you in any way. Do you want me to stay or do you want to be left alone?"
Crowley whispered again, this time looking at Aziraphale, "Stay."
The angel nodded and said quietly, "How about we make ourselves comfortable on the couch? I don't know how long my knees can take this treatment."
Crowley nodded, and together they sat down on the couch while Aziraphale turned on the small desk lamp.
Then he took Crowley's hand in his and asked gently, "Do you want to talk about it?"
Crowley seemed to hesitate for a few moments, as if struggling with himself, before saying softly, "Would you mind just holding me?"
No force in the world could have prevented Aziraphale from opening his arms, so vulnerable and fragile did the demon's request sound. He didn't answer, just opened his arms, welcoming the demon to his chest before closing them around him.
A few minutes passed before Crowley said quietly, "Would you really have left everything behind that day?"
Azirphale didn't need to ask for clarification; he knew what day and what the demon was talking about.
He took his time to think about how to answer.
After a moment, he said gently, "Yes, I think so. At least I thought so until I changed my mind."
He felt Crowley hesitate again before the demon straightened up to look at him and asked, "What if it happened again? What if someone came again and told you that the price for saving Earth was your return to Heaven? What if..."
"Crowley! Stop!"
Aziraphale took him by the shoulders and said in a firm voice, "There is no 'what if.' Everything is different now. It's not me anymore. It's you and me. It's us. I know it's my fault that you have these kinds of fears. And I take full responsibility for the mistake I made that day. But I made a vow to you, on what I hold most dear, which happens to be you, that I would never make a decision like that on my own again, and I will. I just need you to keep trusting me."
Crowley shook his head and protested, "Angel, my trust has been unshaken for millennia, this is not about that."
Aziraphale asked, "Then what provoked this reaction?"
Crowley replied, "A nightmare. Just a nightmare. I went into the bookshop and there was no sign of you. When I woke up, it was all I could think about, the sensation was so real, like an echo of what I felt when I walked into the burning bookshop and realized you were gone. I couldn't sleep anymore, so instead of waking you, I went downstairs. Only it was worse because I was standing in the exact spot of my nightmare, which quickly sent me into a "spiral".
Aziraphale brushed back a red strand of hair that had fallen across the demon's forehead, and then, resting his hand on the demon's cheek, he said quietly, "There's one mistake you've made in everything you've just told me."
"What's that?" the demon asked, puzzled.
Aziraphale replied, "Not waking me."
"But I didn't want to bother you."
Aziraphale replied gently, "I think that's where it starts. Not wanting to bother the other person. I don't know about you, but I'd rather have you bother me than know you're down there alone, trying to cope on your own."
Crowley half smiled and replied, "I guess that's part of what we have to learn together.
Aziraphale replied, "Even after 6,000 years."
Crowley sneered back, "Especially after 6,000 years."
Then he leaned his head into the angel's hand and said more seriously, "I'm glad you woke up and came to me."
Aziraphale replied softly, "Me too, my dear," then leaned forward and pressed a lingering kiss to the demon's forehead.
When he pulled away, he asked, "What do you want to do? Go back to bed? Or something else?"
Crowley answered, "Just staying here for a while, I don't want to go to sleep and have the same nightmare all over again."
The angel replied quietly, "Whatever you want. Come on, let's get comfortable."
Aziraphale leaned back comfortably, then pulled Crowley over so he could lie on the sofa and rest his head on the angel's lap. He tucked the blanket over the demon and, burying his fingers in the red curls, began to stroke his head gently.
After a few moments of this treatment, the demon hummed contentedly and smiled, "You know, Angel, if you keep this up, I'm going to fall asleep."
Aziraphale asked quietly, "Would that be so bad?"
Crowley curled up a bit and replied, "Just don't want to have the nightmare again."
Aziraphale reached down and pressed a light kiss to the demon's forehead before saying softly, "What if I stay awake and wake you if you have a nightmare?"
"You'd do that for me?"
Aziraphale replied tenderly, "That and much more. So if you feel sleep coming on, don't fight it, I'm here."
He leaned forward and said softly into the Crowley's ear, "That's what we do, right? We watch over each other."
As he spoke, Aziraphale continued his light, hypnotic caresses, and Crowley, no longer struggling, gradually let sleep take him, trusting that his angel would be there to keep the nightmares at bay.