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Ranpo was never one for romantics.
Or so he thought.
When an ability user named Mary Shelley created an entire universe based on the desires of a redheaded mafia executive, Ranpo didn’t think it would affect him this much. In fact, it shouldn’t have affected him at all! He wasn’t even supposed to have his memories. But when he finally came to after bumping into that universe’s Dazai (who was actually his Dazai) everything came rushing back because of No Longer Human. Imagine his surprise, feeling like he just woke up from a really long dream, only to be hit with the slight existential crisis of whether he is initially the new universe’s Ranpo now given this universe’s memories or vice versa. But he pulled through.
Almost.
Because after finally getting himself through that, he addressed the memories from the new universe. And boy was it a lot. He didn’t even need to go back that far before he was hit with a wave of realization after recalling just that morning.
He was married to Poe in that universe.
Ranpo at the time was able to push the emotional baggage that came with that aside in favor of the very interesting situation they were in. But now that he’s back in his original universe, he’s stuck. He’s stuck with the seeds that were planted and he can’t look at the flowers that have grown. Everything feels different. He hates it. And there’s a very pretty man with a raccoon in front of him.
“R-Ranpo, dear?” Poe asks the detective in his usual quiet voice, “Are you alright? You’re just staring off into space…”
Ranpo blinks, looking up at the man in front of him. Poe is sitting on a plush, and probably very expensive, chair across from him, his legs crossed as he timidly holds his hands together, Karl sitting on his shoulder. Shit. Ranpo should not have done that. Ranpo quickly looks back down at the novel Poe had given him, trying to hide the faint blush painting his cheeks. It feels like every time Ranpo looks at Poe his heart rate quickens, and he doesn’t know why. Ranpo hates it.
“Uh- yeah!” Ranpo chuckles nervously, not meeting Poe’s eye, “Just thinking.”
“Is the novel boring you? I'm sorry, Ranpo. I thought this time was the one…” Poe seems to curl in on himself. Cute.
Ranpo’s eyes widen a little as he realizes what he just thought. He reassures the man quickly, “Ah- no! No no! It’s not the novel. I-I just have a lot on my mind.”
Poe seems to perk up a little at that, a small smile forming on his lips, “So you do like the novel?”
Ranpo had admittedly not been able to pay attention to the novel at all, something about Poe was just so… distracting. So he lies, “Y-yeah!”
Poe’s small smile turns into a wide grin as he sits up, his voice a little louder, “R-really? Oh, I’m so happy to hear that Ranpo!”
The sight of Poe this happy creates a warm feeling in his stomach, he can’t help but grin. He feels a little guilty for lying, but it was worth it. Poe is just so… cute when he’s happy. Ranpo sighs as he brings his hand to his forehead. Why won't these thoughts leave me alone? What is happening to me?
“Hey, Ed?” Ranpo asks, his head still in his hands.
“Yes?”
Ranpo sighs, “Do you… Do you ever feel like someone can’t get out of your head? Like, you can’t stop thinking about them, and whenever you look at them you get all hot and your heart rate increases? I-I probably sound crazy, I think I’m sick or something.”
Poe stays quiet for a moment before finally responding, “No, Ranpo, you’re not crazy at all. I… I know exactly what you mean.”
“You do?” Ranpo finally faces him, happy to know that this isn’t some abnormal thing happening to only him. He hates the feeling of not knowing something that feels obvious.
Poe seems to glance away, and Ranpo can barely see the light pink dusting his cheeks, hidden by his hair. What? Why is…?
“Ed? Are you okay? Please, I need to know what this is! I-I mean, you feel the same right? So, you must know what this is!” Ranpo starts to plead, confused by Poe’s sudden shyness. Ranpo is usually able to read people, to understand immediately how they feel. And yet… he doesn’t understand anything.
“You’re in love, Ranpo,” Poe says quietly.
Oh. Well now Ranpo feels dumb.
Ranpo stays silent for a moment as all the pieces fall into place. It makes a lot of sense, he just refused to believe it. Of course, Ranpo would start having feelings for Poe because he lived in a reality where they were married. How could he not?
Poe still can’t meet Ranpo in the eye as he seems almost, sad? He finally continues, “Ranpo, dear, if I may ask… who is making you feel like this?”
Ranpo stays silent as he sort of pouts, trying to hide his face as it grows more red by the second, “Well now I don’t wanna tell you.”
“I understand that,” Poe reassures as the two are left in an awkward silence.
Ranpo composes himself as he recalls what Poe said. “Wait, you said that you had been feeling the same, that you knew exactly what I meant. Ed, are you… also in love with someone?” Ranpo asks skeptically, a little worried that Poe might like someone else.
Poe stays silent, his hair hiding his eyes. Ranpo watches as the pink dusting his cheeks turns into a bright red.
“I’ll take that as a yes,” Ranpo sighs. They both stay silent as they both try to hide their faces from each other. Ranpo finally speaks up, “Who?”
“I can’t tell you, dear Ranpo…” Poe says quietly, obviously nervous.
Ranpo hums in agreement. He stands up, closing the novel as he hands it back to Poe.
“Are you leaving? Already?” Poe looks up at Ranpo, taking the book, he’s visibly sad that Ranpo is leaving.
“Yeah… I… I just need to think.”
“Do you want something to eat before you go? I-I bought some nice pastries the other day,” Poe is desperately trying to keep Ranpo there, just for a little longer.
Ranpo pauses. He is really hungry. And Poe always buys really high-quality snacks…
Fine. Maybe it’ll get his mind off of this.
Poe took out the container of creme puffs as Ranpo sat down. He set the tin on the table, allowing Ranpo to take as many as he wished. He watched as Ranpo’s eyes lit up at the sight of the sweet treats, his hands reaching out as he hungrily took one. Poe smiled as Ranpo ate the pastry, humming in delight.
“Aren’t you gonna have one?” Ranpo muffled between bites.
“I’m okay,” Poe smiles softly, “I bought them for you.”
Ranpo seemed to pause for a second before pink dusted his cheeks. Ranpo never reacts like that when I buy him food…?
“Are you okay, Ranpo? You’re getting really red…” Poe asked Ranpo, sounding a lot more worried than necessary.
“I’m fine!” He shakes his head, composing himself.
“Are you sure? You’ve been acting really off today…”
Ranpo sighs, "It's... I just have a lot on my mind."
"Do you want to talk about it? I hope you know I'm always here for you, dear Ranpo. You…” a small smile graces Poe's lips as he too, blushes slightly, “You mean a lot to me."
Ranpo seems to freeze before his face practically ignites.
Ranpo was now laid out on one of Poe’s many couches with a cold towel on his forehead. He pouted as he looked up at the very worried man (and his raccoon) next to him.
“I told you, I’m not sick!” Ranpo whined.
Poe was quite the worry wart, having immediately assumed that Ranpo was ill the second he started to heat up in the face again. It would’ve been nice if Poe actually put two and two together, but at the same time, Ranpo probably would’ve been in a worse situation if Poe realized why he kept getting so red.
“Everyone gets sick, dear Ranpo. It's nothing to be ashamed of…”
Ranpo groans as he looks away from him, not able to meet him in the eye. It’s hard to look at Poe when he has such a… caring look. Especially when it’s directed at Ranpo. So as much as being sick would be a great excuse for why he’s so red around Poe, it also makes Poe even more… unbearable.
Ranpo is broken out of his train of thought as a sudden weight presses on his chest. Karl sits in front of him, pawing at him like a cat. Ranpo hugs the raccoon, turning on his side as he faces the back of the couch, away from Poe.
“Get some rest, Ranpo, I’ll go get you some tea,” Poe says quietly, getting up as he leaves the room silently, the door shutting softly behind him.
Ranpo is left alone lying on a couch in a lavish yet cozy room as he hugs a raccoon. Quite the image without context.
As the clicking of Poe’s boots hitting the ground grew faint, Karl suddenly wormed his way out of Ranpo’s arms. Ranpo sat up, watching the raccoon with intrigue as the furry animal scampered across the room. Karl hopped onto a desk, sitting right above the small drawer as his beady black eyes stared back at Ranpo.
Ranpo slowly got up, silently walking over to the desk.
“You want me to look in here?” He asks as if the raccoon can respond.
Karl just stares up at Ranpo before scurrying away again. Ranpo sighs, eyeing the drawer as his curiosity gets the best of him. He grabs the small metal handle and pulls it open, his eyes landing on the single item in the drawer. A small enveloped letter.
Ranpo picks up the letter, turning it around to see his own name scribbled on the envelope in fancy writing—definitely Poe’s handwriting.
He slowly opens the envelope, pulling out the paper as his eyes scan over its contents before widening. The letter reads:
My dearest, Ranpo,
I am aware this letter will never see the light of day. Unless I somehow gather the courage to deliver it myself, this letter and its contents are something I might as well take to my grave. But as I have found, bottling your emotions is not the best for your mental health. So instead, I have resorted to writing my feelings down like the mystery novels I write for you every day. And just like those novels, I write every word with you in mind.
I love you.
I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you…
The ‘I love you’s repeat for a while before the letter continues normally again.
Pardon my manic writing, but it feels so good finally getting it out, even on paper. I could only imagine what it feels like to actually say it with words, but some dreams are meant to stay dreams. But if my dreams were forever only consisting of you, just like this letter, I would never see the light of day again. I say this as if my dreams aren’t already filled with images of you.
I don’t know when exactly I started to really love you, Ranpo. But what I do know is it’s very real. And if I have to hide behind the term of rivalry to stay close to you, then I am your biggest rival. If I have to hide behind the term of friends, then I hope to hear you call me your best. I don’t know what exactly we are, Ranpo, but what I do know is I love you. And I will accept anything you call me as long as it means I get to stay in your life. I love you, Ranpo.
Yours,
Edgar A. Poe
Poe carried the hot mug of tea carefully as the clicking of his shoes echoed through the hall. He slowly turned the handle as he pushed the door open, his eyes expectantly landing on the couch. But Ranpo is missing.
“Ranpo, dear?” Poe calls out as his eyes nervously scan the room, finding him on the other side with his back to him.
Poe almost sighs in relief, walking towards him. “Oh, there you are. You almost scared me for a second,” he chuckles nervously, “What are you doi-”
He freezes as his eyes land on the letter in Ranpo’s hand.
Oh no.
How does he have that? Did he read it? Does he hate me? Oh god, I’m never gonna see him again. He’s gonna tell everyone and I won’t be able to show my face for years. Wait. No. Ranpo wouldn’t do that. But he still knows! Oh god, I’m screwed-
Poe’s spiraling is interrupted as he suddenly feels arms around his waist, a head against his chest, and very warm. His eyes look down to meet a bed of black hair and someone hugging him. Not just someone. Ranpo. Ranpo is hugging him.
Before Poe can get a word out, Ranpo’s muffled voice sounds, “You said you didn’t care what I called you,” there’s a pause as the nervous smile can be heard in Ranpo’s voice, “So can I call you my boyfriend?”
Poe’s breath hitches before letting out a sigh that he didn’t realize he was holding.
“Yes,” Poe wraps his arms around Ranpo as he buries his face in his dark nest of hair, “I would love that, Ranpo”
Feelings. Ranpo finds them to be quite a nuisance. This whole time, Ranpo wasn’t able to figure out something that was right in front of him because he was blinded by his own feelings. He could even go as far as to say he hates them. But as Ranpo sits cuddled next to the man he unknowingly had a crush on, and even more unknowingly, the man who liked him back, he realizes… maybe they aren’t so bad.