Chapter Text
Dazai’s head snapped back and the last embers of light flickered a million memories behind his tired eyes.
Times, good and bad, fits of laughter and choking on tears. Days when the rain seemed endless from the sky. Meaningless teases falling from his lips underneath the harsh beat of the sunshine. Maybe that’s all life was. A sequence of ups and downs that played along the pulse in your veins. Fear of the unknown matched only by the curiosity that burned in every soul. His last gasp was a sound he knew like the back of his hand. How many men had he forced into the same exhale?
Really he was no different. A simple human, destined to go wherever death deemed to take him. The last thought on his mind was so mixed it couldn’t be picked apart by the last firing of his synapses, hope stilling his heart and regret gripping his mind.
Then, there was a blissful nothing.
…
Chuuya didn’t even know who he was but he knew the rage. It burned through his body like a wildfire lit by a single cigarette, foolishness leading to destruction only death admires. He didn’t recognize the hand that held the gun or the shake that ran through its fingertips.
But his instincts knew this feeling.
Heat rushed to his head, a blade tearing through his gut, a feeling so long settled into his heart that he thought it was a part of him slipping into the dark. He wasn’t a man anymore, just a beast running on desperation. Anything to stop feeling this sensation. Curses rumble up his skin like vines as his eyes fade from red to stark white.
The whole world echoed with his guttural cry. It ripped up his throat like the bile rising in his chest, tasting like ash and blood, and something he never wanted to admit. So salty, the rain from the heaven’s above carving into the cracks of his lips. The pain that once felt white hot now pulsed in waves overtaking his senses with every breath. How unfair to force him to keep going when he felt a piece of him decaying under his ribs. His only sight was red.
Somewhere through the static of the screen eyes widened through stringy bangs, a hand frozen just centimeters above a keyboard.
Numbers were crunching in his head, possibilities and sure truths eliminating option after option. Every time it came to the same error page. Something was flawed with the whole way of thinking– something had corrupted the formula from the very start. One little secret, kept at the cost of a life.
Fyodor took an involuntary step back but it was like the beast below could sense him, its head snapping to stare right through the image. He had thought he hadn’t been scared of death. What was there to fear about the inevitable end? It happened every day, every second. They were simply animals that would be put back into the dark earth like any other.
Now he knew he was a fool. Only staring death in the eyes could expose a rat's instinct to squirm in the trap. He turned and got two more steps before the wall exploded behind him. Gravity was such an inane thing, a given until it wasn’t. He could feel the heat burning behind him like a fire licking his back but he didn’t turn his head. He wasn’t sure what he would find there, a god or a mere destroyed man. Maybe they were one in the same. He was a man who had sinned, and this wrath was his punishment.
Chaos burst to life as pebbles bounced off his bare feet. A small grin pulled at his lips. Maybe he could understand his little chess partner a little better now. His desire to feel the same as a cowering man, the world slipping from his control. Yes, this was true beauty. Oh– to be fooled. Laughter bubbled past his lips as he felt a strong grip enclose the back of his head. The earth trembled from its very core as seconds slid away without mercy.
His last thought struck him like lightning.
He truly had no idea what was to come next.
…
Atsushi made his hundredth turn to take another lap along the long hospital hall.
The stark white lights bore into his young face, aging it years. The dark circles however were close to permanent. He would have started on his hundredth and first if a firm hand didn’t halt his steps. Kunikida’s stare was empty of its usual fierce edge. Whatever replaced it almost choked Atsushi when he tried to swallow.
“You’re only going to wear out the floor at this rate. How about you take a seat?”
It was gentle but it wasn’t just a suggestion. Atsushi’s legs wobbled at the knee before he collapsed onto a chair for what must have been the first time in three days. The bite of the air conditioning immediately set into his bones now that he was staying still. It wasn’t what caused the shiver up his spine. The grayed white tiles below him stared back at his soul.
“We don’t know anything for certain yet. All we have is that person called ‘Sigma’s word for what happened in that godforsaken prison.”
Atsushi knew Kunikida was technically right, but something held fast to the back of his mind. It twisted every thought until his breath could hardly leave his chest.
“I know but… it doesn’t feel good. Nothing feels right at all.”
Kunikida snorted and Atsushi heard the back of his head hit the wall.
“It feels like shit. But here we are, outside of some Mafia dog’s door, waiting to know the full story.”
They both knew he was a lot more than a mafia dog. More like a hellhound, guarding the gate to the city’s darkest corners. Besides, it would be more than hypocritical for Atsushi to scoff at the man’s life after recently begging for his own partner's safety. Not that Yasano had taken much convincing. She may hold a grudge against the mafia as a whole, but the black coated boy had wormed his way into everyone’s skin before the Agency members had any say about it.
When the vampire curse had slipped away Atsushi was forced to experience it all over again. Akutagawa’s neck filled with blood like it was freshly cut once more, Atsushi’s arms barely collecting him before he hit the floor. But this time Atsushi didn’t run away alone. He found Yasano in an instant, she said she had been told to come find them by an anonymous call. She had worked her ability right away, but informed him it wouldn’t be perfect this time. Technically the boy was already dead by the time her butterflies got there.
Atsushi glanced at the room a little down the hall, knowing already the body that would be lying silently there. He had heard enough steady beats to be willing to leave the room but it had taken at least 24 hours. The thoughts racing around his own mind were too much to place into words, so Atsushi just nodded. He could feel concerned eyes bore into his head and while he appreciated their care, it only felt like more pressure right now, his dark imaginings caving into the blackhole they didn’t dare to talk about direct.
“You know that bastard as well as I do. If he was dead, hell would be throwing one hell of a welcoming party right now. And I don’t hear any drums.”
Atsushi offered a weak smile at the familiar antagonism, but the hallway rung hollow without any sharp remark in return. If anything it just drilled home the loss of what should have been. Atsushi opened his mouth to fill the void but the burst of the door beat him to it. Yasano’s face was smooth of any emotion but her grip on the handle had her knuckles turning to ash.
“He’s waking up.”
In a second Atsushi was on his feet yet somehow Kunikida still beat him to the entrance. All his calm was thrown out in a second, the pair stumbling into the sterile room. Three figures already stood around the man tucked tightly in his sheets. Gin was the only one to look up as they joined the circle and Atsushi avoided her gaze. If Kunikida’s look made his head feel like exploding than her eyes made his heart want to break into a million shards.
What was there to say to the sister of the man who sacrificed his life for yours?
But maybe not. He remembered the beeps, and kept his focus forward.
The small figure twitched and it reverberated through all of them. Kunikida leaned forward, Koyo catching the last of her breath, Gin’s eyes narrowing to focus on any further movement. Only Hirotsu remained perfectly still, but Atsushi wasn’t fooled by the years of training. They were all waiting with impatience in their veins.
They didn’t have to pause long in their tentative truce. Soon lashes fluttered to part for icy blue for the first time in days. To be honest none of them were sure they would ever do so again. With corruption triggered there was always a chance there would only be a broken body left in its wake. But somehow there was still a sluggish beat in the bloody mess that was left in front of the demolished prison.
Atsushi may be the resident tiger, but it seemed like the red head was the one who had more lives than a cat. Dazai used to joke that it would take a bolt of lightning from heaven itself to smite his old partner. Atsushi used to puzzle over how he would say such cruel things with a smile. Now he knew far too well.
A pair of eyes faded from blurred and unsure to sharp in a moment. Atsushi wondered how many times you had to wake up from near death to get instincts that recovered that quick. Koyo was the first to offer a tentative whisper.
“Are you finally back with us, lad?”
The glare moved from the white cloth below him to her face, but the squint spelled nothing but further confusion. It was like Chuuya could see but was falling to put the pieces of his life all together. Slowly the fog faded and Atsushi wished it hadn’t for just a little longer when tight fingers unraveled from the sheet. It wasn’t from relaxing, a body unwinding once it knows it’s beyond the present danger, but a slow sinking into pure shock. It felt like time stopped.
Atsushi felt his own expression mirror the one in front of him as it transitioned from disbelief to true and clear terror.
It was foreign on a face that laughed in the presence of the devil, who had seen the parts of the world even the angels turned their cheek to in disgust. But there was no mistaking the human emotions flickering into his features. Eyes widened into circles, breaths panting out his nose, two hands coming to grip tightly at the junction of his neck.
“no no no nonono NONO NO NO NO!! Please, NO!”
He started in a whisper but in the end it was a strangled shout. Fingers clawing at the neckline of his gown made Yasano move towards the man that seemed out of his mind at the moment.
“Chuuya please, you need to calm down–”
He didn’t even look at her direction as his nails finally caught hold of what he seemed so desperate to find. He grabbed hold and pulled until he peeled away a chunk of his skin.
No– it wasn’t actual skin to Atsushi’s relief. It was simply a covering that was more than convincing, the blend into his neck seamless until Chuuya tore it away to reveal the real patch of his body underneath.
When Atsushi saw it he stopped breathing altogether.
He wasn’t the only one. Every single eye was trained to the one spot that hadn’t seen the light of day in six years. Even Higuchi couldn’t hold back this time, a lifetime of training never preparing him for the sight.
Because dug deep into Chuuya’s neck was a scarred mating bite.
The air in the room took a punch to the gut. It coughed out a wheeze, barely enough oxygen for those still trying frantically to suck it in.
Koyo’s hand trembled as it reached up, as if it could hold Chuuya back from digging his fingers into mauled tissue. He searched and searched but they all knew the answer would be the same even if he tore the teeth marks open again with his fingernails. There was still a faint whisper of ‘No’ that blended into the buzzing in Atsushi’s ear. If the world had meant to strip him of everything he thought he knew in one week, it was outdoing itself tremendously.
Because it could only really mean one thing.
One possibility as Chuuya’s features crumpled, shoulders curling to protect himself from the sight of the truth. But there was no going back from the raw scene in front of them all. A part of Atsushi cracked, hope leaking out of him like a chipped pot. Fissures rattled through him as they all faced reality head on.
Koyo however scoffed in disbelief, denial quick to her lips.
“What is– Chuuya, it can’t be that you and Dazai…”
Atsushi doesn’t know how she had the heart to interrogate the broken figure slumped in the middle of the small bed. His heart was surely unable to break anymore yet still he felt the cut deepen as the scent of sour red wine filled the room. He had only caught a hint of Chuuya’s usual cherry red pheromone from a distance, but he remembered how simple and sweet it had been back then. Now it reeked like something left to rot in the summer sun.
Hirotsu sighed and it sounded like more than defeat.
Koyo released her own smoky scent in an act of reactive temper, no doubt reeling the most out of them all. Sure Atsushi would have never guessed the truth in a million years, but he was hardly unused to Dazai’s mysterious ways. And Chuuya certainly never owed him such a tightly held secret. But he had heard the omega call this woman Ane-san more than once, and if the title was fitting, then seeing her this blindsided was an indication that no one had known the truth but those two.
“Chuuya you– and that boy. Oh my god! Why? In this world why would you do such a foolish thing?”
Red curls bounced side to side with a shake of his head as a watery voice crackled to life.
“It wasn’t planned. When I presented it was with no warning and… it was over before we both even knew what really happened. We were young, and stupid. Always so stupid.”
She swallowed and her perfect demeanor melted away with every ounce of fury that swam up her words.
“ When? For how long have you been keeping this dirty little secret?”
Chuuya’s head snapped up even as his hand remained curled protectively around his collarbone. Fire met ice and Atsushi finally understood the family resemblance. If Koyo was a soul of molten iron covered by a cool finish then Chuuya was a core of iron frozen solid in a bed of coals. He matched her temper with his own harsh tone.
“Don’t fucking lecture me now. Dazai and I knew exactly the risk this was to us. If Mori had discovered our bond at the time…”
A visible shiver ran through his figure.
“We knew. Dazai knew better than anyone, we would have never been free again. The exploitation would have been too easy. Dazai would be trapped into the game forever and me– a pawn in their little play.”
Atsushi wondered what the mafia boss was really like, to inspire such loyalty and vast bitterness from all his subordinates. He recognized the tone from Dazai’s old stories, grudging respect and sharp edges, a portrait of a twisted figure that made him avoid looking too long in the mirror. Or, Atsushi recalls with slight regret, looking at the protegee he himself left behind.
Koyo released her tense position but crossed her arms until they were a firm knot.
“I can’t believe you two were actually able to keep this hidden. There should have been so many signs, instincts that must have run so high, yet I never suspected this . I can’t imagine that anyone else knew if I didn’t.”
Chuuya chuckled but it was as dark as tar. His eyes glistened, but Atsushi knew he wouldn’t let it well up into a real tear. Not at least while they were there.
“No one. Dazai died counting on it.”
Atsushi heard a whimper and reached to cover his mouth when he realized it came from him. Chuuya glanced in his direction but had to force his gaze back down to the twisted sheets after only a second of painful contact.
“I did it. The memories are hazy from when I was under the vampire curse, fuzzy and tinged in red. But that moment I know I will never have the luxury to forget. The cold metal of the gun in my hands, his eyes holding no fear, the feeling of the trigger giving way, the pain… oh god the burn …”
A lump choked his last words and the lights sparkled off a drop of water determined to prove Atsushi wrong. This wasn’t the man he had met months ago on a mutual mission, full of life and vigor, passion to insult Dazai as endless as his energy to fight any enemy that came his direction.
This was an Omega who lost his mate.
And finally it crashed over him as a wave.
Rushing water filled his nose and clogged his senses, nothing left in his body but murky salt pulling with the power of the moon in the sky. It was over– Dazai was dead. If anyone would know for sure it would be his mate, tied together by a shared fate. A bonding bite didn’t heal over unless that thread was already snipped.
All he could manage was a sob .
Soon as he began he couldn’t even hope to stop. It all weld up and spilled out into the open, the chaos and the grief, so bitter it hurt his tongue to swallow. He felt a hand in his hair, but it couldn’t disguise its own shake.
“He’s gone… he’s really, gone.”
All they had to offer was silence, heavy and suppressive. These were people who had lost a lot. Maybe even everything that they had truly cared for. But he had a feeling it didn’t make it any easier. It only made you more numb to the shock of it.
“I’m so sorry…”
Atsushi shook his head vigorously at the quiet omission, looking up with frantic eyes at the pools of cold blue.
“No please, we all know you had no real responsibility for this. If anything Dazai probably knew the sacrifice he was making to ensure things ended up this way. And really it's you who… well it's you who is the actual widow, right?”
Chuuya tensed as another truth crashed into him.
“Widow… holy shit .”
Atsushi tried to sputter out anything to smooth over the new wound he obviously opened, but Chuuya was faster to recover. His eyes bore into Kunikida next.
“What happened with you two actually. You're out here all free and relaxed in public?”
Kunikida cleared his throat.
“It was actually our Aya who broke the case right open. She managed to capture Fukuchi unraveling his own schemes, proving the real mastermind behind it all. It was undoubtedly an impressive feat. The fact, of course, that there was a reporter who was asked to come meet her right when she needed to hand over that information however…”
Chuuya closed his eyes so tight it wrinkled along his lash line. His small grin was bittersweet like the chocolate Dazai hated so much.
“That bastard . If he was always so fucking far ahead then why… why this…”
His voice failed to finish his question. But the answer was already lost among the solemn faces that stared back at him. Atsushi washed away by the storm, Kunakida stone persevering through the cracks, Koyo a mask covering raw blood, Gin detached from her own body, and Hirotsu with nothing more to give to a world so cruel it only knows how to take.
If he wanted a solution he would have to turn to the divine, and pray there was something beyond this pain.
Until then he would bleed and bleed, human till the last drop spilled from his body.