Chapter Text
“ My dear Crowley, Dear Crowley,
I hope with all my heart that you are doing okay. I know that you will never answer me, but I will keep writing you letters. That sounds silly when it is written down like that, but I have been silly for a long time, haven’t I?
Everything is going well up here, if you wonder. Well, as well as it can be if you put aside Michael’s attempts to snatch my post every time she can and the Metatron being on my back all the time almost all of the time.
I wish I could have find some time to go down to Earth and breathe some fresh air. I miss dining at the Ritz with you , drinking a good glass of wine in the bookshop with you , and discussing meaningless things until late at night on the phone with you . We don’t have proper phones that could be used to call you here and they are not really as talkative as we were back then… I miss you, Crowley.
I am lamenting myself again —what a pathetic angel I make of myself. It is such a great opportunity to be able to try to change things here, and I am venting like a coward. I am sorry; I wish you had come with me. I need you here. Angel or demon, I don’t care anymore; it is you that I need by my side.
Everything feels so bland and boring without you around. Maybe I was wrong, but it is too late, right? I should have kissed you back and stayed. Every day in Heaven feels like a living Hell; I don’t think I belong to that world anymore. Earth is where I mean to live; home is where you are. I am so stupid; what have I done? Please forgive me, Crowley.
This letter is so long already; my apologies. For everything.
I love you, I miss you.
Please come back to me. Crowley.
Forever Faithfully yours,
Aziraphale”
Aziraphale rubs his eyes and wet cheeks before putting the paper in the envelope. He may have cried over the letter again, but he doesn’t mind. It’s not like Crowley will read it. And even if he does, he never answers him. Aziraphale accepts his fate; he didn’t deserve Crowley in the first place.