Work Text:
Laura POV
A surprisingly seductive smell is coming out of your apartment when you arrive. Food. Nice deliciously smelly food. God, you’re hungry.
“Carm, if that is you cooking I’m gonna love you so much, you can’t even imagine. If it’s not you... well, then you’re not my roommate anymore, I have a new one now.” You close the door and drop your bag on the floor. Whatever, you’re tired.
“Always so charming.” You hear her say in her trademark sarcastic voice, “I feel used now. And not the good kind.”
“Oh, but I’m sure you’re used to that by now” You start giggling, “Get it? Used.”
She’s judging you. You can feel her glaring at the back of your neck.
“Ugh, I’m so funny.”
“Oh my god, just shut up and eat the pasta.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
You realize she’s cleaning the counter. Carmilla never cleans. Anything.
Something’s fishy. You think of a subtle way to ask her about it.
“Is everything alright?” There, perfect.
“Yep, everything’s fine.” She has stopped her movements though. “LaF called.”
“Oh! Great, It’s been like weeks since I’ve heard from them. I’ll give them a call and-“
“It happened to them. You know…”
Oh.
Yes, you know. But you still wait for Carmilla to finish the sentence.
“They found their soulmate.”
You stare at your plate, not sure if you’re hungry anymore. It’s stupid, you’re aware that acting like this is childish and selfish. But still.
“Her name’s Perry. Well, I don’t think that’s her name, now that I think about it… Loli? Lo… Loooo… mhmm…” She keeps her concentration face on for a few seconds and then it seems like she gives up, “Her name’s Perry.”
You smile in spite of yourself.
“Do you remember the words LaF had in their arm?” She’s not asking because she’s forgotten. You’re sure she hasn’t, mainly because you’ve been making fun of it for years now.
“Something about brownies?” You say, chuckling to yourself.
“Yeah, well, it turns out it was not the “fun” kind of brownies we’ve been joking about all this time. A shame, really.”
The words on the skin of your arm. They were supposed to be the first sentence your soulmate said to you.
You pull your long sleeve further down your arm unconsciously. You don’t have anything there.
“I’m happy for them, really, Carm.” You’re not lying, “If anyone deserves to be happy, it’s LaF.”
“Excuse moi.”
“Okaaay, maybe… sometimes you do too.” You wink at her, “but you know, you and I, those rules don’t apply to us.”
“Sooo, does that mean that we can be happy all the time because we don’t depend on other people’s stupid first words said to us in order to feel accomplished in life?”
“That’s one way to look at it.” You are happy though. As long as you have her. It may not be the same level of happiness, but it’s real. “I’m so glad we found each other. I don’t want to think about how I’d feel if I was the only one who…”
“Hey, it’s okay, cupcake.” She’s hugging you now and you realize that you’ve started to cry. Or you’re about to. You’re not sure.
Sometimes you think it’s easier for her. She doesn’t really believe in relationships. Or love, for the matter. But you also know that’s because she doesn’t think that anyone could love her.
Still, it would be nice to have it all so assimilated. To not have any kind of expectations anymore.
“Hey, how about we watch a cheesy awful movie of those you like? And then we call LaF.”
“Sounds good to me. Any opportunity is good to watch you suffer.”
“Really? If this is what I get when I make the effort of being nice, it’s not worth it at all.”
You slap her arm.
“Hush, I’m depressed here. Go make me chocolate.”
Carmilla POV
Laura’s asleep on the couch. And you have to pee, so you remove her legs from your lap and stand up making as little noise as possible.
You get to the bathroom.
Now that you look at yourself in the mirror, you think that you could probably use a shower, so you go to your room and grab the necessary stuff.
And it happens. Like every single time before. You’re staring at yourself in the old as fuck mirror in your bathroom. And your eyes go straight to your arm.
The burn scar.
Not noticeable if you’re not looking for it.
But you’re always looking. Ever since you knew Laura would never feel the same way you felt about her. You looked at the words, and you hated them.
So you did something about it.
You think it’s normal that you still stare at it sometimes.
After all, it hurt like a bitch when you fixed it. When you burned it.