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Katsuki hates the rain.
He hates it and how it messes with his quirk, he hates how it makes everything seem depressing, but most of all Katsuki hates what it makes him think of.
When Izuku left UA in their first year, it was raining when the class had saved him. Like the way rain makes a good portion of people feel, Izuku had looked drained. That was the day Katsuki finally apologized to Izuku, something he would always remember in clear detail. He would never forget the way Izuku collapsed from exhaustion in his arms or the way his wet curls had been plastered to his face.
That was the day he could no longer deny his feelings for Izuku, and, from that day on, the rain reminded him of Izuku.
Rain reminded him of Izuku and the feelings he held for him, and he hated that because they were feelings he tried so very hard to suppress.
Younger Katsuki would find that detail fitting; Izuku and rain associated together, two things that he hated. But what younger Katsuki wouldn't understand was just how much Izuku would end up meaning to him.
That brings Katsuki to his current state. As he stared out his window, the sky dark due to the rain falling down outside as well as the time, he saw Izuku staring off into the distance outside the dorms from where he had been previously practicing just moments before.
Clearly, time was not an issue when it came to Izuku's training. It was ten at night and Izuku had been out in the pouring rain doing just that: training. The damn nerd would probably excuse his actions as something like "no villain would stop their actions because of something as small as the weather."
Izuku himself was like rain, he could be unpredictable but oh so powerful. And his anger was like the thunder of a storm, sudden yet unmistakable; something you wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of. Katsuki would know, he had bared witness to it.
And when he was watching Izuku practice outside, Katsuki felt he could easily compare Izuku to a rainstorm. His movements were fluid as he had practiced and mastered OFA by their current point, now second years. He was a sight to see and Katsuki found it soothing to watch where he had once found it irking.
But unlike the rain and unlike what a younger Katsuki would say, he didn't hate Izuku.
Watching had been something Izuku was known for, not Katsuki. And yet, as time went by, Katsuki realized he had always kept an eye on Izuku. Even when he had tried to convince himself he hated him, he had still watched him closely, keeping him at arm's length.
The thing about Izuku is, he's very reckless. He puts everyone above himself and that used to drive Katsuki utterly insane. Still does, sometimes.
Izuku brings out emotions in Katsuki he didn't even know he was capable of. Anger was his go to, his fallback emotion. He felt anger with Izuku so many times, but in addition to that anger, he now recognizes emotions like fear, worry, and he'd never say this out loud but dare he think it: fondness. And that scared Katsuki, that unfamiliar feeling. Katsuki doesn't do emotions, he thought that bullshit like that is pointless in his pursuit of becoming the number one hero. Or, that's what he'd say if you would've asked him before he started feeling this way.
When he started feeling differently around Izuku, he couldn't tell you. It was a shift in emotions that happened over time. But it happened and it's been in the back of his mind ever since.
When it comes to Izuku, Katsuki is a coward. He runs from his feelings because he feels he doesn't deserve to feel that way. Izuku deserves someone who didn't treat him poorly in the past due to their own insecurities, is what he thinks. Because that's what he was under all his bravado, someone who is insecure. If anyone would ever say that to him directly, he wouldn't hesitate to give them an explosion to the face. But in his own mind, he could admit the truth.
He shouldn't feel the way he does, he knows. And so he runs away from his feelings and shoves them into the back of his mind where he metaphorically blasts them to hell. That's something Katsuki knows all too well, defeating things that get in his way. His emotions are included in that category. Anything that would prevent him from being fully focused is a distraction. And Katsuki doesn't allow himself to have distractions.
That doesn't mean he can't indulge himself sometimes.
So that's why when he started to shift from his bed to where his shoes lay nearly in his room, he wasn't surprised by his actions. Because as much as Katsuki felt he shouldn't let himself be distracted by green eyes and an angelic smile, he was also selfish.
And so he made his way outside to where Izuku was done practicing under the lamp-lit street outside the dorms. He didn't bother to bring an umbrella with him or to change out of his black T-shirt with a bomb design and his also black sweatpants, even though he knew that his clothes would be uncomfortably soaked through by the end of their interaction.
It had stopped pouring for the moment, leaving the sky clearer than before. Although, the rain still persisted, just a bit more lightly.
At the disruption of the Heights Alliance door opening, Izuku looked over to where Katsuki was exiting.
The rain started to land on Katsuki and turned his already dark clothes even darker.
Izuku uttered a brief "Kacchan" and offered Katsuki a smile in greeting before he resumed his position of looking up at the sky. He had come outside to practice more, to get as much training in as he could. He was still coming up with more ideas on how to use his hands without straining them even more than he had during their first year. He wanted to be a hero people wouldn't have to worry about.
Izuku's red shoes were wet and made squeaky sounds as he shifted in the grass. His clothes(a dark blue shirt with the words "Plus Ultra" in yellow and black basketball shorts with white stripes on the side Katsuki noted), were already drenched, but he didn't seem to pay it any mind.
"Hey, dumbass," Katsuki greeted back, stuffing his hands in his sweatpants pockets. "You're going to get yourself sick from staying out here in the rain. You're done training, aren't you?"
As he stepped further into the rain, his spiky blond hair slowly became flattened to his face, mirroring Izuku's own wet hair.
Shifting to look at Katsuki as he was walking towards him, he let out a little huff.
"That's true, I guess. I'm not too worried about that, though. And yeah, I am done training," he said.
When Katsuki had settled at his side, he pointed up to the sky, then looked at Katsuki and beamed. "I was just looking up at the stars. They're pretty, aren't they?"
The gesture made Katsuki's heart skip a beat, and, sure, the stars were pretty, but Katsuki thought their beauty paled in comparison to Izuku's.
Quickly looking away from Izuku's smiling face and to the stars, he replied, "Yeah, I guess they kinda are."
He wasn't talking about the stars, though. He was talking about Izuku.
"It's interesting, isn't it?" Izuku continued. "It's raining right now and even with that, the stars are still shining brightly in the sky."
"So?" Katsuki questioned back. "What does it matter? Shitty weather is still shitty weather."
"That's not it, though," Izuku said, his voice whimsical. "It's the way that even on a gloomy day, there is still light during the dark times. A balance of sorts."
When Katsuki just stared at him blankly, he started to speak again out of nervousness.
"Does that make sense? Am I making sense?" Izuku asked as he brought his hand up to rub the back of his neck, a particular nervous habit of his. As he did, water droplets fell from his hair onto his arm, joining the ones already there and the ones landing on him from the rain still coming down.
The action itself was what Katsuki would call cute. If he didn't detest the thought of saying that word, that is. But in his mind, he let it linger in his thoughts. Izuku always did have a habit of rambling, especially when he was nervous. Katsuki used to hate it, but now, he found it endearing.
Katsuki knew what he meant, however. During the wars, when Katsuki was at his darkest moments, his thoughts of Izuku were his saving grace; what kept him going.
Teasing slightly, Katsuki replied, "Sure, nerd."
His teasing caused Izuku to get even more flustered from embarrassment as he covered his face, his flushed red ears and neck being the only visible proof of the effects.
"Kacchan!" Izuku groaned into his palms. "Why do you have to be so sarcastic? You're making this embarrassing. Can't you indulge me a bit with a proper response?"
Katsuki chuckled, then reached out to ruffle Izuku's rain soaked curls a bit harshly, unbothered by that fact. "I understand what you were trying to say. So don't stress over it so much, Deku."
With their hair wet like it was, Izuku looked like a confused wet puppy and Katsuki a disgruntled Pomeranian.
Hearing that Katsuki wasn't making fun of him, Izuku lifted his head up to look at him, Katsuki's hand sliding off his head and back down to his side in the process.
"Good," Izuku smiled sheepishly.
After that they stood in a comfortable silence as the rain continued to fall down rhythmically.
"I meant what I said before, your nerdy ass is gonna get sick if you stay out here any longer, ya know that?" Katsuki remarked as he kept stealing glances at Izuku, unbeknownst to him.
Tilting his head up to stare directly into the sky, a singular water droplet ran down Izuku's Adam's apple and several others fell off his wet curly hair onto his already soaked shirt when he ran a hand through his hair.
"I probably should," he agreed.
Katsuki had the strong urge to replace Izuku's hand with his own, to run his fingers through those curly emerald locks himself.
With a sigh of defeat, Izuku dropped his hand from his hair and spared Katsuki a glance. "Are you coming back in with me?" He asked.
For a few moments Katsuki just stared at Izuku in the rain. His mind was full of the things he wanted to do, of how he wished to pull Izuku close or for Izuku to reach out towards him in a simple embrace(he wouldn't act on his desires because he didn't know if Izuku liked him back but also because he felt he didn't deserve for him to).
As they stood there, staring at one another, the rain started to pour hard yet again.They were standing so close to one another, close enough that just a step closer and they would be touching if either of them chose to close the space between them.
Patiently without any judgment, Izuku stood, still waiting for Katsuki's response. 'Well?', his green eyes seemed to be asking.
It was an offer from Izuku, and Katsuki understood that. But he couldn't take the offer because he felt he needed to control himself. Any moment longer with Izuku left him at a higher risk of doing something stupid that he would for sure end up regretting, like kissing him.
"Nah," Katsuki finally replied, making the decision to play it safe. "I'm going to stay out here just a bit longer."
At any other moment, Katsuki knew it was no good to hide his feelings because Izuku was good at reading him. Yet, for as much as Izuku understands Katsuki more than anyone else in the world(and how much Katsuki was glad for that fact), Katsuki was glad Izuku didn't seem to be able to read his current thoughts. Because if he did, Katsuki didn't know what he would do. He couldn't lose Izuku, couldn't even fathom the thought(flashbacks from the first war played in his mind. Memories of how the thought of losing Izuku was so unbearable that his body had moved on its own to take the blow made for Izuku). They settled his resolve.
Rainy days reminded Katsuki of the days where there was a lack of Izuku in his life. They say you don't really appreciate something until it's gone, and the truth of that saying hit Katsuki hard when Izuku had left UA. He was haunted by emerald eyes even when they weren't around. He wouldn't make the mistake of doing something that would push him away for good. He wouldn't push his luck.
Izuku stared at Katsuki for a bit longer, analyzing him, before he accepted that Katsuki wouldn't be changing his mind.
"Okay…" he said hesitantly. "I'm going back in now."
"Alright," Katsuki responded with a grunt.
A second later, Katsuki heard Izuku's footsteps get further from him as he made his way back to the dorms, leaving Katsuki by himself.
Now, normally Katsuki was a bit of a clean freak and a germaphobe when it came to certain things like sitting on the ground, but he was so lost in thought at that moment that the thought of sitting on the wet sidewalk didn't bother him.
He sat on the ground by himself, his thoughts running through his mind a mile a minute and all of the thoughts consisted of one main factor: Izuku.
Thoughts of how far both he and Izuku had come were clouding his mind, of all the things they had been through, for and with one another.
Thoughts of how much closer they had gotten were another thing, something he wouldn't have dared to wish for if Izuku hadn't willingly insisted on their renewed friendship(hell, who was he kidding. Izuku was the main participant of their hangouts).
But most of all, he thought about the what ifs, the thought of what they could be. He thought of kissing Izuku's lips like he had pictured more times than he'd like to admit, and he thought of holding him close; even just for a moment. He thought of spending their time together not out of obligation of class time, but out of want(they were friends, close friends, but Katsuki wanted to hang out with Izuku in an even more meaningful way than the term friends would include).
He sat in the rain, thoroughly drenched at that point, and he let himself imagine and reminisce, for he wouldn't let himself do so often.
It wasn't more than three minutes before he heard footsteps approaching him, shaking him out of his thoughts.
Standing up to see who was there to bother him, he was surprised to see Izuku at the stairs of the dorms.
Katsuki could feel his face betray his moment of confusion because Izuku smiled softly at him yet again, reassuringly.
To his surprise, Izuku didn't approach him. He just merely stared at Katsuki from the distance between them.
"What are you doing here?" Katsuki tried to ask him.
But due to the rain pouring down around them, Izuku couldn't hear what he had said.
Izuku tilted his head like a puppy, urging him to repeat himself.
Annoyed by the situation with the rain, Katsuki rolled his eyes.
"What. Are. You. Doing. Here?" He said slowly, emphasizing his words slowly so Izuku could read his lips.
Why Izuku didn't just walk over to Katsuki, he didn't know. He was being difficult for no reason.
He received a nervous smile in reply.
'What the fuck?' Katsuki thought. What was Izuku playing at?
Before he realized what was happening, Izuku was running towards him at a fast speed, OFA lighting up his skin.
The puddles of rain splashed as he ran, spraying around him and no doubt soaking his shoes even more than they already had to be.
Katsuki felt his heart increase fast in his chest, the previous clenching of it due to the pain his thoughts of unrequited love had brought ceased as it did. Now, it raced out of nervousness.
When Izuku reached him, he slammed into Katsuki(who did manage to catch him), cradling the sides of his face, and he placed his lips upon Katsuki's own, kissing him.
Katsuki stood in shock as Izuku kissed him.
What the fuck was happening?!
When they broke apart for air, Izuku rested his chin over Katsuki's shoulder, avoiding looking at his reaction.
"What the fuck, Izuku?" Katsuki yelled out, startled.
"'M sorry." Izuku mumbled into his neck. "I had to come back," he further explained.
"That's not what I'm talking about!" Katsuki said, gently lifting Izuku's head up to face him.
"Look at me. Why did you kiss me?" He demanded.
Izuku looked into Katsuki's eyes then averted his gaze yet again, this time to Katsuki's lips.
"Izuku!" Katsuki snapped. "I asked you a question."
Startled at Katsuki raising his voice, Izuku shuddered as he snapped out of his staring trance. Although, that could've been caused by them being in the rain, Katsuki supposed(read:doubted).
"Well…" Izuku started. "You just looked like you wanted to kiss me a while ago. You were staring at me with this longing glance and I kept arguing with myself whether or not I was imagining it. I don't think I was imagining it, at least…" He then took a sharp inhale and looked off into the distance, towards the dorms. "Wait… did I actually imagine it? Did I imagine what I wanted to see? Oh no, Kacchan is going to never talk to me again! What have I done? That was such a bad idea! Stupid Izuku!"
Katsuki stared at Izuku dumbfounded as he panicked in his arms.
How did Izuku know what he was thinking? He had thought he hid it well! But of course Izuku would know, he always knew when Katsuki was conflicted about something. Katsuki may be able to guard his feelings from others, but Izuku was always the only exception to that. He didn't know whether he hated or loved that fact(it was both).
When he realized Izuku was still in panic mode, Katsuki gently shook him.
"Izuku," shake. "Izuku!" shake. "Izuku!" shake.
"Kacchan?" Izuku looked back up at him, no longer disassociated.
"You're okay," Katsuki assured him. "I'm not mad at-"
"But," Izuku interrupted. "I kissed you without your permission! I didn't even ask if you liked me back, I just went ahead and did it. Even if I felt like you wanted it, that doesn't mean you actually did! I'm sorry!"
Katsuki gave Izuku a minute to calm down after his little mutterstorm.
After he deemed him to be more calm, he responded, "You've got nothing to be sorry for, idiot. As much as I hate to admit it, you were right about what you thought I was feeling."
Izuku stared at him. And he continued to stare. Without saying anything.
It sort of worried Katsuki, but it also put him on edge.
"Well, are you going to say anything, or?" he tried to get him to respond.
"You like me back?" Izuku finally blurted.
"Isn't that what I just said?" Katsuki questioned back.
"I'm not imagining this too, am I? I didn't get hypothermia from the rain and am imagining this whole conversation, right?" Izuku said, fully serious.
That earned a laugh from Katsuki. "No, nerd. You didn't get hypothermia and you're not imagining this."
Izuku continued to look at Katsuki, still feeling as if he were dreaming.
"Okay, Kacchan. If you say so, I'll believe you," he finally gave in.
"Do you have no sense of self preservation though?" Katsuki asked. "You come out here and practice in the rain, for a long time, and then you kiss me, someone who hasn't treated you the way you deserve to be treated."
Izuku burst into laughter at Katsuki's words.
"You little shit! What are you laughing at me for? I'm being completely serious right now!" Katsuki said, offended.
"That's what's so funny. You actually believe you don't deserve me and that I don't like you back," Izuku answered. "Do you really think that I would love you if you weren't amazing in my eyes? Sure, you haven't always been the nicest, but I know the real you. I know that you care. I just didn't think you cared in the same way I do for you. I guess I was wrong."
When he was done speaking, Izuku beamed at him yet again, and Katsuki felt the familiar fluttering feeling in his chest.
Unable to resist his temptations a second time that night, he let himself give in.
He grabbed Izuku in a way that resembled how Izuku had just moments before, and he kissed him. Katsuki made sure that he ran his fingers through Izuku's hair like he had been dying to do earlier.
His mind was still telling him this was wrong, that Izuku wasn't meant to be here in his arms. But his heart was telling him the opposite, that there couldn't be anything more right and that they belonged here, together.
And now that Katsuki's had a taste of what it's like to be with Izuku, he didn't think he could ever go back to mere friendship.
But thankfully for him, Izuku couldn't either.
Their kiss had turned from one small, but still so emotional kiss, to slow pecks.
While they were kissing, the rain was still pouring down on them. Although, the two students couldn't find it in themselves to care.
They broke apart, their foreheads touching and breaths intermingling.
"Still think you're dreaming?" Katsuki asked, a small smirk on his face as he swiped off a droplet that was running down Izuku's cheek.
"No," Izuku told him with a smile. "That was better than anything I could have imagined."
"Fuck. I'm glad I wasn't the only one who's imagined this before," Katsuki confessed.
Izuku let his head fall back as he laughed lightly. The rain dripped from his hair onto the ground at the movement, not unlike a dog shaking its fur to try to get dry.
When he looked back up, it was to Katsuki staring at him with the same kind of look that made Izuku kiss him. Except, this time, it wasn't a desperate longing. It was a look of contentment.
At that moment, Katsuki was captivated by Izuku.
"You're truly something else, do y'know that?" Katsuki told him.
"Well, so are you," Izuku replied. "Kacchan is amazing, afterall."
"You're such a dork," Katsuki smiled.
And then he kissed him again, something he knew he was already getting addicted to.
This time, as they kissed, they were interrupted by lightning striking in the distance, casting a glow across the sky and onto their figures.
"I guess that's our queue to go back inside for real now," Izuku joked.
The lights around them flickered.
"Whatever," Katsuki replied, annoyed at the interruption.
Nonetheless, he grabbed Izuku's hand and they made their way to the steps.
As they made their way up the stairs, they paused at the top, Katsuki's grip on Izuku's hand tight.
"Kacchan?" Izuku questioned.
"Yeah?"
"I love you."
Unable to face Izuku with those words face to face quite yet, Katsuki pulled Izuku to his chest.
"Me too," he whispered in his ear.
They stayed in that embrace for a minute before they made their way into the dorms, and then to their own rooms.
As Katsuki lay in his bed, he thought back to his moments with Izuku outside.
Izuku had left only for a few minutes before he had rushed back outside, where he kissed Katsuki. They would never be able to get too far from one another, it seemed. It was like they had some kind of magnetic pull or something of that sort(Mina liked to gush to Katsuki about how he and Izuku were soulmates, but Katsuki wouldn't tell her that he agreed to such a sappy thought).
The events of the night would definitely be added to the things he thought about when it rained. But not just when it rained, Katsuki knew he would probably think back to that moment even when the sky was clear.
He brought a hand up to his lips, which were still tingling with the warmth of Izuku's own.
Y'know the saying of how you'll feel as if fireworks or sparks go off when you kiss someone? Well, fuck that. Katsuki thinks that's wrong. Kissing Izuku made him feel as if there were explosions going off. It was more special and intense than fireworks are.
At least, that's his opinion.