Chapter Text
Raph yelped as needles stabbed into his wrists and ankles. The yelp turned into a shout of pain when another needle burrowed itself between his shell scute. It hurt like hell going in but the continued feeling ‘wrong, wrong, get it out’ made his skin feel like it was covered in roaches.
He tried to pull away from the needles, get away from the deadly little points but it just made them shift under his scales and burrow in deeper.
Yup, they were going to die here.
And Raph wanted to get more angry about that, because his brothers did not deserve to die because these humans had gotten the wrong guys. But all he could focus on was the fact his joints were being torn apart.
He almost didn’t notice when an alarm sounded. He probably wouldn’t have paid attention if the buzzing sound wasn’t followed by the lights suddenly turning red and flashing.
It was annoying and he wished they’d quit it. Wasn’t he miserable enough?
He lifted his head and frowned when he saw all the soldiers in the room and spun towards the door, weapons raised, like they were waiting for someone to come through.
Had April come back for them?
“What the heck is going on?” Donnie whispered.
Leo’s voice was low as he replied, too low for Raph to catch with all the cotton in his ears.
Every person in the room, human and mutant, had their eyes fixed on the door as it hissed open.
And every single one froze when they saw who- or what?- was on the other side.
It was…kinda human looking? Well, no, the legs were bent the wrong way, kinda like Dads, but Dad had thin, bony limbs. This person was the opposite of bony, they were freaking huge, easily towering over everyone in the room by a foot or two.
They were decked out in armor too, the black and gold plates bulking out the person’s frame and making them look even bigger. They were holding a staff over their shoulders, hands draped almost casually over the metal and they took a slow step into the room, clawed toes scraping loudly on the floor.
The black visitor of the helmet scanned the room and the lights flashed, momentarily turning the glass into a bloody red.
And then a voice, feminine and raspy with a sharp edge that made everyone tense, crackled into the room, “You all have ten seconds to fuckin’ run.”
There was a click. Four blades popped out from each end of the staff, thin but clearly sharp and glinting viciously in the light. And it was only emphasized when the ends also started to glow yellow and crackled like a really big taser.
Raph was still in pain but he couldn’t help but say, “Oh my gosh, that’s awesome.”
That seem to shake some humans out of their shock, one stepping forward and growling, “Look buddy, as cool as that Mando cosplay is, you’re not allowed in here-”
“Seven.”
“Uh,” the man stammered but managed to keep going. “Look, I don’t want to hurt ya lady, but I have to ask that-”
“Five.”
“That you put the weapon down and put your hands-”
“Threeee.”
“ON THE FLOOR!”
“It’s not a cosplay,” the staff whistled as it was suddenly spun off the woman’s shoulders and into an opening stance. “One!”
The metal staff whistled as she swung it like a club, slamming it into the man’s side and sending him flying across the room.
And then everything exploded into chaos.
Raph watched in slack jawed awe as the stranger started beating down every single human in the room, staff whipping back and forth and electrified prongs zapping every person it connected with. Men went flying every which way, none getting ever close to landing a hit.
A few kept back and opted for shooting at her, but the blue canisters were swatted out of the air like flies, shattering harmlessly on the floor as the stranger tossed one gunman into his neighbor and kicked another into a metal cabinet.
Raph and his brothers were cheering as another man was slammed into the floor, whooping in excitement as they watched whoever this person was kick everyone’s butts.
It was like watching a Jackie Chan movie but a thousand times better.
The last soldier was gut punched by the staff, limbs seizing as he was zapped. The woman grabbed the back of his head and smashed it into a control panel with a loud crunch.
Whatever the man broke with his face was important, because the alarm suddenly went silent, the lights turned normal again and the restraints on Raph and his brothers snapped open.
Raph squeaked in pain as the needles were, very suddenly and not at all gently, ripped out of him. He stumbled, hands shakily coming up to his aching wrists-
Only for Leo to practically pouch on him, grabbing his arms as he started to babble at a mile a minute, “Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, you okay? You feel okay? Of course you don’t, you just got freaking milked. Oh, that’s blood, that’s too much blood. Uh, okay-”
Raph was only half listening, because the room was tilting and that was bad, rooms shouldn’t tilt like that. And he suddenly felt really woozy? Oh, yeah, definitely woozy.
His shell was saved from a very hard landing by Leo catching him and helping him sit on the floor. Donnie was close behind, helping Mikey sit right next to Raph.
All four breathed for a few moments.
Then slowly turned to look at the only other conscious person in the room.
The woman stood there, right in the middle of knocked out soldiers, staff deactivated but still clutched in her hand.
Now that they were on the floor and alone with this random new mutant…oh, boy she was huge…and she just took out, like, at least thirty guys by herself….and they didn’t know if she’d come to beat them up or help them out. Superfly could hold a grudge, maybe he had sent someone to beat them down more?
Leo immediately stood up, hands going automatically to where his katana usually rested, “Who are you? W-what do you want?”
She took a few steps closer, weapon hissing as it collapsed into a much smaller stick. Raph tensed when she stopped, close enough to easily reach out and grab Leo if she wanted to.
Once huge, clawed hand pushed the helmet up-
To reveal a human-esk face and two huge, teary green eyes.
“Oh my gods, you’re all so tiny!” she cried, voice much higher pitched now and her mouth pulling into a massive grin.
And Raph…had no clue how to respond to that.
Neither did Leo, if his confused stammering was any indicator.
The woman didn’t seem bothered at all as she crouched down, getting right at Leo’s eye-level and squeezing his face between her huge hands, “Oh, look at you, you’re so tiny and squishy in this dimension. Are you even fifteen yet? The crazy stuff usually starts when you’re all fifteen. But you are all way too tiny to be fifteen already. Oh, except for you!”
And suddenly she was in Raph’s face, hands patting heavily at his shoulders and beaming, “Look at you, always gotta be the big guy lookin’ after his brothers, right? Oh, but you’re still so squishy!”
“What the heck is happening?“ Donnie muttered.
It was a mistake on his part, because the woman was suddenly turning her attention on him, cooing happily, “Oh, lookit! You got glasses this time! And now I know you boys are not fifteen yet! Your voice is still all squeaky. What are you kids now? Twelve? Thirteen?” She twisted, rubbing a hand on Mikey’s head like she was ruffling his non-existent hair. “Aw, you ade have had a tough day, huh? Maybe I should wake these creeps up and beat ‘em down again.”
Mikey nodded, leaning into her touch without any hesitation, "That’d be cool.”
Raph shook his head at Mikey but his brother was clearly not listening. He was leaning into the head pats, lapping up the attention and almost falling into the lady’s lap. He probably would have if she didn’t just scoop him up into a hug with another soft, “Oh, baby, you need a break, huh? World threw too much to soon at you, huh?”
And this was definitely the weirdest thing that had happened to them today. Superfly and his ooze superweapon had nothing on the weird, red, armored tiger lady with the weirdly human face…who was now trying to pull Raph closer, probably to hug him too.
If he wasn’t still dizzy, he’d put up more of a fight. But his limbs felt like jelly, so all he could manage was an unhappy whine, “Who the heck are you?”
“Ah, right, sorry. Got excited!” she leaned back a bit and Donnie yelped when she suddenly grabbed him- with her foot! Because she had weird monkey toes!- and Leo was quickly swept into her grip as well. “But can you blame me? You’re all so shabbin’ cute!”
Raph grumbled and opened his mouth to ask what her deal was.
But his question was interrupted by the door hissing open again.
All eyes snapped to the entrance. Their stares met by two more people, one a teenage human journalist and the other an old, gray furred rat mutant.
April and Dad blinked in bewilderment.
And Raph could understand why. They probably look ridiculous, the four of them being cuddle by some six foot tall tiger lady who had clutched them even closer when the door opened.
April blinked, slowly raising a hand, “I…brought your dad…to save you…do you still need saving ooor-?”
“Who are you? What are you doing to my boys? Put them down!” Dad, after getting over his shock, started stomping his way over as he talked, shaking his walking stick.
The woman giggled, actually giggled like a little kid, “Sorry, sorry, you’re usually a lot more ‘wise old master’ than ‘grumpy old man’.” She wormed a hand out of the turtle pile, sticking it out to Dad. “Chula Verd of dimension nineteen-seven-seven-two-five. Lovely to meet you all again!”
Raph blinked.
Donnie voiced what was probably going through all their minds, “Wait, what?!”