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They were sitting around a campfire they made for the night. After three days of travelling to their next destination, they decided to put up a camp. Everyone was exhausted and hungry, so when Vex started preparing a deer she had caught earlier, the rest of the party gathered around the fire. Well, except for Percy who said he was too tired to stay awake and decided to retire from the group to a faraway spot for some peace and quiet.
"It's soo good, Vex," said Grog while chewing the cooked meat.
"I mean it's fine, but considering that we only ate bread and smoked meat for the last few days I have to agree with you," Scanlan replied and took another bite. "Finally some proper meal." The rest of the party murmured in agreement.
After some time of comfortable silence only disturbed by sounds of chewing and swallowing, Vax gave sound to his thoughts. "Shouldn't we check up on Percy?" he asked hesitantly looking at his friends.
"He said he wanted to rest; probably he is asleep by now," answered Keyleth quietly.
"If he were hungry he would have stayed with us," said Grog surely. "More for me then," the half-giant smiled and took another piece of the meat. Gnome looked at him with disbelief and put his small hand on Grog's knee.
"Grog, even if he was hungry I doubt this would help him since he… ugh, you know, since the Briarwoods," Scanlan said slowly with a voice that resonated with guilt.
It has been a few weeks since the event, all of them remembered it clearly yet none was willing to speak of it. They blamed themselves for what happened, but they couldn't have done anything to stop it. Wish they could have seen it coming, be a few minutes earlier or not left Percy from their sight. But what was done was done, and there's no undoing the past.
"Sorry," said Grog sorrowfully and lost his appetite.
"Don't worry buddies, everything will be fine." Pike was instantly there hugging her friend. "Will it though?"
"After a while, things have changed but we can make it work," Pike said hopefully with a small smile. "For now, we have to give him some space."
Keyleth looked up from her hands and asked, "But hasn't he seemed more… isolated than usual?" Her gaze wandered back down, her fingers nervously flexing. "He's been so, so quiet, it's not good."
"When was the last time he ate?" Vax asked suddenly and glanced at his companion. No one had an answer for him. "Gods, this moron." Vax sighed and ran his hand on his face. Stood up and started slowly walking toward the forest.
"What do you think you're doing?" Vex asked her brother, blocking his way.
"Helping our friend, gonna see how he's holding up." He looked her straight in the eye "and if need be I will feed him."
"And you call him a moron, offering yourself as if it was nothing."
"Because it won't be a lot and if something were to happen Pike can heal me. Don't you trust him?" Vex turned her eyes away and remained silent. Vax sighed; how could they think of Percy any differently, he was still himself. Half-elf took his sister's hand in his and said in a gentle tone, "Then at least trust me, sister." She looked him in the eye and nodded. Vax turned around and left the rest of the group.
~~~
Percy was restless, unable to focus on his guns to calm his nerves. His hands were trembling, needing to grab something so he squeezed his tights, nails digging into the flesh. He had his eyes closed and tried to focus on his breathing to slow it down.
And then he heard it, a steady beating sound that was getting louder by a second. He opened his eyes and turned his gaze to where the sound was coming from. In the darkness, he saw Vax slowly approaching him. The sound of his heartbeat was louder than his steps in Percy's ears.
The man quickly stumbled to his feet and took a few steps backwards until he hit the tree with his back. "Get away!" Percy shouted, his voice trembling. "Can't I get some alone time?" He tried to compose himself so as not to sound so distressed.
"Not when you're clearly unwell," Vax said, stepping closer. He looked at his friend who was standing as far away as possible. His eyes wandered from rumpled white hair, nervous gaze, lips held in a tight line (more of that and Percy's lip would bleed) to his clenched fists trying to hide the shaking. Vax raised his brow to make a point and met his eyes and started saying "Fredy, I can see tha-".
"I am fine, Vax'ildan," Percy snapped and turned his head. "I don't need you to worry about me." He stepped away from the tree wanting to get behind it and go further into the woods. The sound of the heartbeat was almost deafening but now he wasn't sure to whom it belonged, Vax or himself.
"If I was feeling really unwell I would find something to subside it."
"Yes, but definitely not fix it," Vax said sternly.
"Nothing will ever fix it!" Percy shouted frustrated, punching the nearest tree with his fist. He barely felt it.
"You're right, but it still can get better. We both know full well that rabbits will never be enough." Vax said quietly and gently put his hand on Percy's shoulder. He felt him tremble but didn't remove his hand. "When was the last time you properly ate?"
"When we fought those bandits in a previous village," he answered slowly, still not looking at his friend. Vax took in a sharp breath, "That was more than a week ago."
"Yes, I'm aware and you can clearly see it on me." Percy tensed even more now and said through clenched teeth "I can smell you, don't want to hurt any of you."
At those words, Vax turned him around, held his chin gently with one hand and looked him in the eyes. Those sharp eyes were now filled with fear, pain, and something else that Vax couldn’t put a name to.
"Then let me help you," Vax smiled sheepishly. “I’m not made of glass, and if something were to happen we have Pike to patch me up.” Percy didn’t seem convinced but didn’t resist when Vax pulled him down to sit on the grass. The gunslinger heavily leaned against the tree and let out a breath, closing his eyes.
“It was too much,” said quietly Percy.
“What was?” asked Vax genuinely worried.
“Sitting at the campfire,” Percy pulled his legs closer to his body and put his head between his knees. “Too loud, too overwhelming. The fire warming everyone up, a good meal making them happier, hearts beating slightly faster and their smell stronger. I couldn’t breathe without feeling like my control was on the verge of snapping.” He paused for some time, Vax heard his shaky breath and maybe even the quietest whimper.
Percy glanced up, his deep red irises bore into Vax’s, they used to be so green. He continued looking his friend straight in the eyes. “Even now, just you, it calls me. I want things I don’t want to want, shouldn’t want, but can’t stop, can’t fight it. This thirst… It’s everywhere in my body. It’s not like with Orthax, now it’s almost like an instinct. This strong urge to give in and take.”
“Then ask and take, my friend,” Vax slowly moved his arm toward Percy.
“Are you mad?!” He pushed his hand back, eyes full of panic. “You voluntarily want to feed the monster?! You know what Sylas did in Whitestone.”
“Yes, I know, but you’re not him. Just because you’re what he was that does not make you a monster. It’s your choices that define you. You destroyed one monster within yourself, you can do it again. And if not, we’re always here to help you, at least I know I am.” Vax once again tried getting closer, Percy didn’t push him away this time, half-elf’s hand laid on his knee.
“You actually want to do it? I’m dangerous, I could hurt you. You should be scared,” the gunslinger said, his eyes searching Vax’s face for any sign of hesitancy. Rogue rapidly grabbed his dagger and pressed it against the man’s chest.
“Percival, as you can see I’m also dangerous, yet you’re not scared of me. I trust you as you trust me. Oh, and also you were dangerous before, don’t worry,” he was about to move his weapon back when Percy grabbed his wrist. “Keep it, please.” Percy’s voice was slightly trembling and sounded strained with some kind of exhaustion that Vax couldn’t possibly understand. “Maybe you trust me but I don’t have that much faith in myself, especially this close. It’s getting harder to stay in control with every breath. Just… keep me in check, don't let me do anything I would regret later, please."
"Okay," Vax sighed, he wasn't happy with the idea but he obliged and kept his dagger gingerly touching Percy's chest. "Let's stop beating around the bush, so how do you want to do this?"
"I think your forearm would be the safest option for you. Preferably closer to the elbow, there are too many vulnerable tendons near the wrist, I really don't want to hurt you by mistake. I'll try to make it as least painful as possible but I can't promise you anything. There’s a radial and ulnar artery, I’m no expert but I think I should avoid them since they’re the main vessels of the forearm. The median antebrachial vein is-"
"Slow down," Vax put his hand on Percy's shoulder to stop him from rambling, "Why are you telling me all of this?"
Percy met his gaze, and held it, something amazing and terrifying must have been going on in his mind, Vax could see so many emotions in his eyes, yet he wasn't able to name any of them, they changed so quickly. Percy let out a slow breath. "You're the first one. I want you to know what you're getting into, I want to do it right. You must have seen how I did it to the bandits and suchlike, this has to be different, I can't let myself hurt you, can't get lost in it. I don’t want you to relive what Sylas did to you."
Vax let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding and reassuringly squeezed Percy's knee. "Thank you, but you don’t have to worry about that. You’re nothing like him. Alright, let's get to it. We should get comfortable, don't you think?" Percy slightly smiled at that and Vax took it as a win.
They sat cross-legged diagonally to each other, Vax on Percy's right. Half-elf held the dagger in his right hand and placed it near his companion's chest which was moving with every trembling breath. Percy took the offered left arm in his shaking yet strong grasp, he was so close, he could feel the very thing he needed running under his fingers. Vax noticed that he tensed and his grip tightened, "Fredy, look at me please". He did not react for a moment, so Vax gently moved his arm and Percy abruptly moved his head as if waking from a nightmare. His eyes were crimson red, almost glowing, full of fear and raw need. "Vax, I ca-" his quivering voice died down as if not wanting to cooperate.
Percy cleared his throat, licked his lips and opened his mouth to try again, now Vax could see the elongated, sharp fangs, he had never seen them up this close and never as long, Percy always hid them behind his hand or the high collar of his coat, a shiver run through Vax’s spine. Percy's voice brought him back from his thoughts, "Please". Such a simple word that held so much power and need, how could he ever say no to that?
“Go on then”, Vax whispered in the dead of the night. Percy slightly relaxed and leaned in, his cheek touching the warm skin, they both took a deep breath in, but for different reasons. Percy to smell, to feel the one thing he’s been craving for so long. And Vax, he wasn’t sure why he did that, it wasn’t fear, maybe anticipation for the thing he’s instincts should be against yet weren’t, perhaps some kind of weird excitement about a new experience and closeness he was never expecting to get from the white hair man. Percy opened his mouth but didn’t bite yet, “Gods, you smell divine”, Vax was sure he didn’t mean to say it aloud, but this is what food can do to a starving man, too lost in the thrill of finally being able to feed. A shudder ran through his spine as he felt something wet, Percival slowly ran his tongue from his wrist to the crook of the elbow, enjoying the warmth of blood beneath, searching for the best spot. He did it two more times taking deep breaths, Vax transfixed on him, his cheeks blushing, no one had ever touched him like that. So intimate but how could it be any different when he’s about to be eaten from?
Percy stopped for a moment, looked up, and their eyes met. Auburn brown and now glowing, vivid red. They held their breaths, waiting for the other to do something, anything, to break the silence. Finally, Percy said gently “I’m sorry” and bit Vax’s arm. He felt a sharp pain but soon it seemed just like an annoying thorn stuck in one’s skin, something that could be ignored given other sensations, such as warm lips on his forearm. His other arm holding the dagger slightly trembled, but he wasn’t planning on putting it to use, didn’t want to. He could sense his blood leaving his body, being sucked out, he heard a strangled moan coming from Percy. His eyes were closed, Adam's apple bobbing up and down as he tried to drink every drop he could. He seemed desperate as if scared that the one thing he craved and finally got would be taken from him. As time passed his grip relaxed and gulps of blood slowed down.
Vax put his blade down and let his free hand wander to the vampire’s hair. It was softer than he thought, he cradled his fingers through them, and Percy made a sudden sound in his throat, almost a purr. Vax thought it impossible but his cheeks got even redder, he was not expecting this reaction but he liked it nonetheless.
Everything seemed so peaceful around them, like time had stopped and only they remained. Vax wanted to stay that way, hold Percy, and be so close to him, forget about fights, enemies and more dangers yet to come. But he knew this soothing vision had to stop when he started feeling lightheaded and dizzy. Vax moved his hand to the back of Percy's neck and slightly tightened the hold of his white hair and said gently "I think that's enough". Percy opened his eyes, blinking slowly as if coming back from a trance, dilated pupils slowly becoming smaller. His gaze met Vax’s, he detached his teeth, licked his bloodied lips and looked back at the spot he was drinking from. Blood was slowly seeping from the small wounds, Percy licked it one more time and kissed the bite mark. He turned his head away as he gently let go of the arm. His voice seemed deafening in the dead of night even though it was barely a whisper "Thank you, Vax'ildan".
“Ah, you’re welcome” he put his right hand over his injured arm to temporarily stop the bleeding “It’s nothing”. Percy let out a small laugh, “I wouldn’t call it nothing, it feels like you saved my life. I’m glad that you’re not so easily scared away and stubborn.”
“Me too, I’m glad I could help”.
They sat in comfortable silence, leaning against a tree, shoulders touching, looking at the stars decorating the cloudless sky, the only light was the moon looming above the forest. Sitting next to a dangerous predator in the peak of darkness Vax was still feeling weirdly safe and brave, so he decided to try to satisfy his curiosity.
“Can I ask you a question?”
“You can certainly try, but I can’t promise that you’ll get the answer” Percy replied with a smile in his voice.
“Oh, interesting, so what kind of questions will get me an answer?” he said teasingly.
“Hmm, actually I’m not so sure. To be honest, I’m feeling slightly drunk right now, so ask away and we’ll see.” he laughed to himself and Vax followed in his footsteps. He hadn’t seen Percy so relaxed in such a long time, the easy lines on his face, the shine in his eyes. And Gods, his smile, so bright even though it was barely there, so hard to see making it so more precious when spotted. It was addictive and Vax always wanted him to smile like that.
After their laughter died down the half-elf took some time to find a first question to ask. He decided to start with something easy to not to annoy his friend.
“Do you know that your eyes glow sometimes?” he looked at Percy to see in what state his irises were. They were almost back to normal, but there was still a hint of light coming from within them, delicately illuminating them. Percy moved his head meeting his curious gaze, embarrassment passed his features, not expecting to be watched so carefully. Vax blushed at being caught but didn’t move.
“Yes,” he answered carefully, still looking him in the eyes, they were mere inches apart.
“How?”
“I see differently then, the world seems sharper, colours become more vivid, and everything is so much clearer” he spoke gently with awe, getting lost in sight he was recalling “I once saw a rabbit about three kilometres from us. Can you believe that?” He stopped abruptly when he noticed how much closer their faces got. His gaze started wandering, but never leaving Vax’s face. “Even now, everything is more detailed, there are things I thought I knew, yet they always surprise me in new ways when I look at them like that.”
“Can you control it?” he asked one more question and moved to try and meet his gaze. They were sitting across from each other, their knees touching.
“Not really, hopefully, I will be able to with time.” Percy’s hand moved on its own and laid on Vax’s left forearm, half-elf took in a sharp breath. Percy took his hand away as if burned “Ah, sorry, I didn’t mean to”, and just like that the easy atmosphere they had had died.
They both looked at his injured arm. Four puncture wounds surrounded by blunt teeth marks, the dark bruise was already forming. “Don’t worry about it, we both had way worse in the past, Pike will take a second to fix it.”
“How can you be so casual about it? I hurt you.” His voice was shaking again, not from fear this time, but from anger directed at himself.
“We get nastier scratches while training with Grog, don’t beat yourself over it. You needed it and I willingly provided. I’m happy that I did.”
“I’ll try to be more gentle next time, ah I-I mean if you’re, ugh” Percy hid his face behind his hands. “Ignore me.”
“Next time you will ask me faster than this time, I don’t want to see you starve yourself ever again.” Vax took both of Percy’s hands in his, white-haired man still evading his eyes.
“I can’t just take from you.”
“Then let’s make a deal. After you take what you need I get to ask you three questions just like today. Alright, Fredy?”
“Alright, we have a deal” he smiled shyly and they shook their hands on that, Vax smiled too.