Work Text:
SIMON
I don’t know where Baz is. I always know where Baz is.
He’s not in our room, not in the library, not on the pitch and not even in the music rooms.
I decide this is an emergency, he has to be plotting something, But when I try to recruit Penny to help, she just rolls her eyes. Whatever, I don't need her. I can do this on my own.
Against all odds, I will find him. And I will bring him to justice. It occurs to me my thoughts are starting to sound like something out of a cheesy superhero movie so I decide to just get on with it.
I walk along through the courtyard on my way to the wavering wood, where I’m sure I'll find him, and see Dev and Niall, sitting next to the water fountain and laughing. If Baz isn’t even with them, he must be up to something. I increase my pace. It's really warm today though so im kind of sweating now.
I continue my walk past the pitch and though I’ve already checked there I’m still disappointed not to see him there in his football shorts with his hair up in a little bun. Because I need to know where he is.
I’m going past the hills now and I see Ebb feeding one of the goats so I give her a wave, but I really can't stop to chat right now, not in a crisis like this. Not when Baz could be draining someone dry with his fangs or taking over the world of mages by... well I don’t know how but that’s what im going to find out, isn’t it? And stop him!
Im continuing past the hills and towards the yew tree when I see him. Baz, lying on the ground right below the yew tree. He’s just lying there.
I run towards him, and it occurs to me that this could be some kind of trap, but even if it was I would run towards him anyway, so I keep running.
When I skid to a stop next to him, he doesn’t even flinch. I lean down towards him and see not even a flicker of his eyelids.
Baz is lying there, eyes closed, one arm over his stomach with the other to his side, with the sun shining on his face.
I lean towards him and he doesn’t even budge. For a second I think he might be dead, and my job is complete, but that doesn’t sit right in my stomach, it feels off.
I grab his wrist anyway, trying to feel for a pulse, but I can't find one. If I'm honest I'm not actually sure I know how, so I carefully lean over his body and put my ear just over his heart, listening for his heartbeat. I still can't find it.
That’s when it occurs to me, finally. He's a vampire.
And the sun is on his face! It must have burnt him alive!
It takes me only a moment to process before my eyes start to fill with tears.
This isn’t how It was supposed to happen. We were supposed to have a final battle after we graduate. Fighting for the world of mages… or something. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. We were supposed to do this together, I was supposed to end him.
Except I wasn’t really going to was I? I was never going to kill him, I couldn’t.
I’m properly crying now, tears falling down my face. One tear falls to his shirt. He would kill me for that.
But he can't now. He can't ever get mad at me again. He can never sneer at me or raise that infernal eyebrow. He can never mock me for my spellwork or tell me to “use you're words, Snow” when I can't get my words out.
I’ll never get to sleep in the same room as him, letting the sound of his breathing lull me to my sleep. I'll never see him standing in the mirror in the mornings, watching him thread his tie under his collar and tie the Windsor knot with perfect, confident fingers.
I'll never get to hurt him again. Because I always do, don’t I? We always hurt each other. We could have been friends, or brothers, like the crucible wanted but we were always fighting, and for what? The war? That’s tosh. I wanted to be his friend when I met him.
These days, I still want to be his friend. I want to walk to breakfast together, chat while we line up for food, and sit at the same table. I want to hang out with him on weekends, we could play football together. I want to sit out on the hills with him, doing our homework. I want…
I want Baz. I want him but I can’t have him. The sun has taken him from me.
At this point I'm full-on, snot-all-over-my-nose sobbing, so I lean into his chest again, letting my feelings overcome me.
“I’m sorry B-Baz, I'm sorry f-for everything. I wish it wasn’t like this. I- I wish we could have been more. I’m so sorry.” My voice is shaky and all over the place and I feel like I’m not getting enough air in my lungs. I keep apologizing to him until I feel him move. What the fuck?
“Simon? What are you doing? What's going on?” He sits up, which knocks me off balance so I sit next to him.
I wrap him in a tight hug. “Baz! You’re- you’re alive! Did I save you somehow? Oh, Baz I’m so happy you’re alive.” I’m still crying, I hope he doesn’t mind.
“Snow,” he snarls, “What the fuck are you talking about?”
“Y-you were dead! The sun killed you, Baz.” I tell him, pulling away to look at his face. I can't believe his alive. I know my magic can make weird things happen but I didn’t think it could bring someone back to life.
“I was taking nap, you idiot.” Wait, what?
“No- you… you were dead. The sun killed you because you’re a vampire…”
“Why in the name of Crowley would you think that?”
“I couldn’t feel your pulse! Or- or your heartbeat.” I tell him urgently, I can't be sure he’s not still dead. “And you called me Simon, before.”
“No, I didn’t.” He immediately denies. "If you thought I was dead, why were you crying? Why weren’t you off celebrating with the mage?” he doesn’t mention his lack of a heartbeat.
“I wouldn’t be celebrating Baz; I would be heartbroken.”
“Because you wanted to kill me yourself.” He says this as a statement, not a question. He pulls back, and I realise he has been letting me hold him this entire time. Or had been.
“No! I… I couldn’t, Baz. I know I’m supposed to but I wouldn’t. I couldn’t.” I look down at my hands. “I don’t want that, Baz. I-“
“You can't just decide not to kill me, Snow, that would make our epic battle kind of one-sided, and it would be far too easy to kill you that way. I want a real challenge.”
“No, Baz. You're not listening. I don’t want a final battle at all I just- Ugh I just-“ I cut myself off by grabbing him by the back of his neck and bringing him face to face with me.
We stay like that for a moment.
“You’ve got snot of your face, Simon.” He says, very quietly while staring into my eyes.
He briefly looks down to my lips and back up, so fast I might not have caught it. But I'm always tuned in to him. I always see those things. The tiny changes in his expressions, the small ways he shows his feelings in his eyes. He gives me all the permission I need.
I pull him the rest of the way and our lips meet in the middle. I'm giving him all I've got. I've always been better with actions.
But he's not responding. He’s just letting it happen.
Fuck, I thought I had it figured out. I thought I could read him.
He pulls back, searching my eyes for something. I don't know what he's looking for but he must have found it.
“Simon.” He whispers and pulls me back to him.
This time he kisses me back with just as much force. It’s a mess of lips and teeth and tongues and it's perfect. His hand is on the back of my head, twirling through my curls. I match him by grabbing his hair too, it's so soft. He’s so perfect.
He pulls back too soon. “Wait, you really though the sun would just instantly kill me? No ashes or anything? Really snow?”
“You called me Simon, before. Call me Simon.”
“Simon,” he says and I'm back on him in an instant. I move to straddle his hips and in the brief second our lips are apart I already miss him. He starts to kiss my neck, whispering my name, my first name, over and over again.
“Crowley, you're thick, Simon,” he says to my neck.
“You clearly don’t mind.”
“No, I don’t.” he returns to my lips now, with less urgency than before but just as much enthusiasm, emotion and want. His hands are on my hips and they’re cool, even after sleeping in the sun.
Which is apparently all he was doing, taking an innocent nap in the sun.
I start to laugh, this is absurd, I thought he was dead!
He pulls back, “Why are you laughing? What's so funny?” he asks, but he's laughing too.
“’m just happy,” I tell him, and go back in for more.