Work Text:
Listen, If anyone were to ask him how he got here, Zoro would just say “I got lost.” Which maybe was a horrible lie because he never got lost, obviously. The truth is; it's all the cook’s fault he found himself in such a predicament.
It started earlier today, Nami was yelling something about the island they were arriving at and how long it would take to hit landfall. Zoro wasn’t paying attention to its name, because why would it matter to him? However, his gaze was captured by the cook who seemed to shift at the mention of the island.
It was subtle, but Zoro’s instincts are as fine as a blade. Nothing gets past him, especially when it comes to that curly brow idiot. The swordsman was always acutely aware of all his crewmates, as to keep them safe, but Sanji was a little different.
The cook did not *need* Zoro to protect him, so it was more like the swordsman expecting any moment to become a fight with the love sick idiot.
They butted heads a lot because the dartboard was always up his own ass and couldn’t just be cool. Recently, Sanji has been more annoying than usual: constant chain smoking, constant fighting over the smallest shit and his nerves being on edge.
Zoro didn’t mind the fighting, that is probably the only thing he loves about that idiot, of course he would never admit this. Even though Sanji was obviously weaker than him, that damn cook still burned Zoro in the best ways. Their fights gave Zoro an adrenaline rush like no other, some would say he looks crazy when they clash. Sanji was his equal in that way.
The smoking, on the other hand, had its limits for Zoro. The stench was only ever so bearable. To some extent, Zoro was comforted by Sanji’s tobacco, yet this was too much. That damned cook was smoking 3 packs a day as of recently. To add on to that, the cook wouldn’t let him nap in the galley because of his short fuse… Curly usually didn’t mind Zoro’s company if he was sleeping, so for him to even hate his “peaceful” existence was annoying. So yeah it was becoming an issue for Zoro as well now.
Well after that strange reaction, Sanji rushed into the men’s quarters of the Sunny. Interesting, not a sweet word for their “lovely” navigator? No yelping about how “Nami-swan” was the best navigator and he can always rely on her skills. He just rushes off the deck. Something is definitely wrong and Zoro is going to find out what.
Don’t get it twisted, the swordsman couldn’t give two shits about how this idiot cook feels, but when it starts affecting his naps. He will get involved.
With a grunt, he gets up and walks towards the men’s room to see what all this fuss is about. At the door he can already hear the mumbling of their love cook, damn this guy really is wound tight right now. Zoro swings the door open and earns a yelp from the cook.
“HEY ASSHOLE” Sanji screams as he turns around, tucking his hands behind himself. The cook is by the lockers on the other side of the room, looks like he was digging though his own stuff. Zoro just gives him a puzzled look and doesn’t say anything.
The love cook’s face heats up a bright red at the tension building in the room (at least on his end). “YOU NEED TO KNOCK BEFORE BARGING IN LIKE THAT MOSS FOR BRAINS” The cook yells again. This gets a reaction, Zoro replies with sass “This is the men’s quarters, we all share this room curly brow.” The swordsman has a smug grin on his face and crosses his arms, seemingly caging Sanji into this room as his huge frame blocks the only exit.
Sanji looks around almost desperately, not moving from his spot and keeping whatever he has in hands hidden behind himself, “Just leave Mosshead!” It’s not as loud as his earlier attacks, but it does have something in it. However, it's not something Zoro recognizes. The swordsman cocks his head and leaves the room, closing the door behind him.
Now things were definitely getting interesting.
Zoro decided to leave the cook alone after that, they were going to hit the island soon but not until after dinner. Since the cook seems to be familiar with the place Zoro was going to follow him when they docked. The swordsman figured Sanji was bound to want to explore this place. Maybe then he’ll have some answers as to what has this curly brow idiot all hot and bothered.
===========
“Dinner time asshole!” Sanji calls from the door of the galley, followed quickly by a “Nami-swannn Robin-chann I made dinner with extra love tonight~~” Zoro rolled his eye at that, however the love cook did seem more relaxed now.
“Yayyy food time!!” Luffy yelled as he launched himself past Sanji. The cook turns quickly to reprimand their captain and defend the dinner he made. Everyone soon filed into the galley and began to eat.
The cook seemed… normal, maybe even excited throughout this, despite his strange behavior earlier. The dinner they shared was also very normal; Sanji didn’t bitch every second he got and he seemed to smile more (at least compared to their recent days on board). It had only been a few hours since Nami made the announcement about the next island.
Was it really that special to the cook? Maybe something really important was here? Maybe the island was known for their food and culinary knowledge? Or maybe they had information about the All-Blue here?
“Careful Marimo, you might send your moss ablaze thinking that hard.” The cook said in a mocking tone. Zoro glared over to Sanji, were his thoughts that loud? With food in his mouth, “Looking for a fight dart brow, because I’m looking at an easy target.” At this they both lean over the table and butt their heads.
“It’s not like a shitty moss like yourself could ever land a hit on me.” Sanji growls as he pushes into the other’s forehead with his own. Zoro pushes back, “Don’t get your panties in a twist love cook, I’ll kick your ass any day.” At that Sanji pauses and jumps back, almost like he's been burned.
The cook scoffs and with a grimace continues to eat his food. Sanji’s sudden retreat almost made Zoro fall over onto the table, but he collects himself and scoffs back. He falls back into his seat with a loud thud and finishes his food as well. Suddenly from Usopp, “HEY! Don't even try it Luffy!” The sniper smacks their captain’s hand away from his food and the table goes back to normal with laughs and stories. The swordsman can't help but notice the slight blush at the tip of the love cook’s ears.
Now that was interesting.
===========
They have finally docked, since it was getting late Zoro didn’t expect to be riddled with chores and sure enough Nami did not demand much from him. Now the swordsman was free to tail that dumb love cook when the time comes.
More time passed, most of the crew had either gone to explore the island or already came back. Sanji was still in the galley (cleaning? Preparing food?) and Zoro was laying on the Sunny’s lawn, waiting.
Finally, when everything was silent Zoro heard the soft sounds of quiet footsteps. He stays still and waits, pretending to be asleep. He hears the cook pass him and get off the ship. This is when Zoro begins his mission. The first thing the swordsman notices is the suitcase Sanji is carrying.
The suitcase is plain and simple, nothing telling about it. However, Sanji’s demeanor is a little odd. He’s on edge and fidgety. Constantly looking around and back down at something in his hand. Zoro catches a glimpse of a piece of paper in the cook's hand.
After walking through a few streets and some alleys (almost getting lost, but that mosshead won't admit it) Zoro spots the building his cook is waiting in front of. It’s a bar, kinda shady (they are pirates so who actually cares) but other than that it's not too assuming. The place is called “The Red Heel.” If anything is weird about it, it's that it seems to be a bar with some “performers.”
Sanji looks around and back at his note, shoving the paper in his pocket he straightens his tie and walks in.
Interesting.
Zoro waits around the corner for a bit, contemplating whether he should go in or not. He knows the cook is a perv, that ain’t no secret, so why act all uppity? Why keep this secret? If it's just a normal stripper joint why be so weird and worried? Maybe the cook was a real pervert into some weird shit. Was he acting bitchy because he didn’t get his rocks off recently? Ugh, none of this mattered, why was he caring so much about something so simple, Zoro is about to leave when he suddenly hears a loud commotion.
“Come on girls! The night is just starting, we have to have some fun!” A loud voice calls from the other end of the street. It gets the swordsman’s attention for sure. It’s a group of women, dressed to the nines. They have fabulous makeup and dresses on. All sparkles and jewels. As they came closer to the bar Zoro noticed one or two with huge beards that also had glitter and bows in them. They laughed as they entered the bar in question.
Wait a minute.
…
Was this a drag bar?
Interesting.
Pieces were falling into place. Zoro didn’t know much about drag or queer culture, but he at least knew it existed. This would explain the cook’s unease. But then why come? What possible business would such a straight man have here? Now Zoro knew he had to go in.
The place was a little dark and smoky so there was a good chance he wouldn’t be spotted too soon. To the right of the entrance was a bar that was open enough for Zoro to make his home (if he was gonna be on this mission might as well have some drinks). At the back of the building was a stage and a huge crowd. To the left of the building is a band with multiple instruments. The place seems popular enough for Zoro to hide amongst the people.
There were people of all sorts here, people in drag and a lot not, so he didn't stand out too much. There were also people dressed in leather and leggings…maybe he did stand out a little.
Listen, If anyone were to ask him how he got here, Zoro would just say “I got lost.” Which maybe was a horrible lie because he never got lost, obviously. The truth is; it's all the cook’s fault he found himself in such a predicament.
Zoro sighs a frustrated noise as he looks across the sea of people. He can’t seem to spot that damn cook anywhere. Fuck did he notice Zoro tailing him? Maybe this was bait and Sanji left through a backdoor or something.
“What can I get you, Handsome?” The bartender asks, bringing his attention back to the bar. Zoro grunts “Beer.” The bartender gets to work and hands him a pint, “The show is starting, we have a special guest tonight. We always get a bigger crowd when new performers show up, so you’re in for a treat, stranger.” The bartender winks at Zoro then gestures to the stage.
The swordsman stares as the house lights dim some more and a drag queen steps onto the stage from the left. She starts her speech, sprinkles in some jokes and then introduces their opening act. The special guest drag queen named “Melany” the crowd roars as the host steps off. The band begins to play a soft melody.
Zoro is speechless. His breath was taken away.
Long legs are the first thing his notices. They have bright red heels on. Stockings that show off their strong legs, even from how far away Zoro is sitting he noticed that strength. They are wearing a short black cocktail dress. It falls beautifully around their waist. They also have black elbow length gloves on, in one hand a golden cigarette holder. Then Zoro saw their face. Long blonde hair and bangs that covered their right eye, and there it was. The left eyebrow, with a curl. Fuck, that's Sanji…
Interesting.
Sanji was always attractive, Zoro can’t deny that, he won't admit it though. Right now, however, Sanji is gorgeous. Beautiful in a way Zoro didn't think possible. The swordsman can admire the cook’s strength and fighting ability, but to see him dressed in such a way, seeing his calves and thighs bulge under those skin tight stockings. Seeing his chest threaten to fall out of such a revealing dress… He swallowed thickly.
A laugh from the bartender behind him “Careful lover boy, she’s not from around here and I doubt you have a chance, she’s quite the mystery.” Zoro ignored the jab, but he couldn’t help the light blush creeping on his face. Course no one *here* had a chance with Sanji, he was obviously better than anyone here. But he wasn’t better than Zoro, he was his equal.
Melany’s performance/song starts with a sort of speech about being miserable because he was a man and wanting to live as a hooker. Then she sings. And it’s mesmerizing. How she moves around, caressing her body, extenuating her hips. She talks of dirty sinful things. Opening her legs and performing as the hooker she wants to be. There’s faster moments in the song that call for quick movements and footwork from Melany, and she knows how to do it well. No mistakes. She wears a serious longing face. There’s a portion where she speaks in French and it sounds so alluring. The song picks up, faster movements longer higher notes, “I wanna be that fucked up girl.” And Zoro feels a chill go down his spine.
The song ends and the crowd cheers wildly. She bows with a smile and waves at different people in the mob. Then it happens. They lock eyes. And Sanji goes pale. Fuck.
Zoro’s mouth goes dry.
Sanji runs off stage and into what Zoro presumes to be a back room. Well shit.
The bartender stares at Zoro and then back to the stage then back at Zoro, mouth slightly agape. Then they smile, “The entrance to the makeup room is up there.” They point to a door at the left of the stage. Zoro nods, chugs his drink and tips the bartender “Thanks” he mumbles as he heads for the room.
This room is much brighter compared to the main bar room, Zoro’s eye stings as it adjusts. It’s a small room, just enough for a clothes rack, three vanities, and a privacy screen. There’s only one other figure in here with him… Sanji. He’s hunched over the last vanity calming his breathing. He is still in drag. Maybe Zoro shouldn’t have come in. Shit.
“Hey.” It’s soft, scared he’ll break Sanji. Zoro approaches slowly and reaches out his hand. The love cook flinches when he touches his bare shoulder. Their skin burns at the contact.
“Why are you here?” There’s no insult, but it’s filled with venom so it stabs Zoro just the same. The cook still has his face buried in his arms and hasn’t looked up. But he didn’t swat his hand away, so maybe the swordsman can salvage this.
“You were acting weird for the past week and I just wanted to-“ What had Zoro wanted? Did he want to help? Fix whatever was up with the cook? Invade into a space he was obviously not welcomed in? Piss off curly like he always does? Zoro continues, “I don’t know what I wanted.”
There’s silence. Fuck.
He’s not good at this shit, he just busted into the cook’s secret life without permission, what is he meant to say? So he just says the truth, “You were really good out there.”
Sanji flinches.
The cook looks up finally, he scowls at Zoro through the mirror, “You fuckin with me?”
The swordsman blushes as now he can see Sanji’s makeup better, a subtle smoky eye with bright red lipstick and a red blush. His stubble and beard are still noticeable, not at all hidden. “No!” Zoro rushes out and everts his gaze.
“Curly, you were amazing. I- I thought everything about your performance was amazing.” Zoro looks back at Sanji through the mirror to emphasize his sincerity. “I don’t lie, cook.” His steely eye stares into Sanji’s soul.
The cook quickly stands and turns, placing his hands on each of the brute’s shoulders, making eye contact with Zoro “You cannot tell anyone about this.” The swordsman nods and replies “You have my word Sanji.” Zoro hopes the use of his name will get across his true feelings.
Looks like it does as Zoro notices a blush on the cook’s ears. The swordsman flashes a grin at the cook. Sanji is only slightly taller with his heels on (about a centimeter or two). Having him this close and still in full drag, Zoro can’t help himself “You look beautiful.” He whispers as he reaches for Sanji’s face.
Now the cook really is blushing, their eye contact is strong and it looks like Sanji is trying to decipher what the swordsman just said. Quietly the love cook replies, “You mean that?”
“I don’t lie.”