Chapter Text
The moment the Deetz-Maitland household had welcomed Beetlejuice back under the condition that he could join them for holidays was the moment he found a list of the various fun holidays from around the world. That way he could be there every day. And although that condition of his household entry had long since changed, with him being welcomed unconditionally, they’d all still kept up the whole celebrating silly holidays tradition he’d started.
From Devilled Eggs Day to Ugly Sweater Day, the moment Beetlejuice awoke each morning he would excitedly announce what the family would celebrate that day.
“World Card Making Day!” Beetlejuice had shouted as he ran into the kitchen where the rest of the family were about to dig into their breakfast. “Babs, I went through your arts and crafts cupboard and this was all I could find.”
He held up a single palette and a mostly empty tube of bright red paint.
“Where is all the rest of it?” He pouted.
“Don’t you remember when I was trying to teach you and Lydia to paint as an emotional outlet, Bug?” Barbara asked, biting her lip.
Beetlejuice shook his head.
“Memory loss?” Adam worried. “I knew we should have taken him to a doctor!”
“What happened?” Beetlejuice asked.
“So…” Lydia spoke up, flashing him a mischievous smile. “I may have told you that the different colours of paint were different flavours. I thought you’d get a mouthful of paint and it’d be funny, but you insisted on trying them all—” she shrugged, her grin not wavering.
“Ha, good one, Lyds.” Beetlejuice chuckled, vague, blurry memories of swallowing tubes of paint returning. “You were right, though, the white one was mint flavoured.”
Lydia smirked. “That was a tube of toothpaste you ate while the Maitland’s tried to brush the paint out of your mouth and off your teeth.”
“You know, I huffed paint once.” Delia chimed up with a laugh. “Otho insisted everyone try it at some party he was holding. I woke up a week later three states away and…” She paused and frowned. “That’s not a funny story, is it?”
“Huffing paint is very dangerous, lots of people have died.” Charles said. “I’m glad you’re here with us now, instead of following him. Otho really was terrible.”
“He was a complete piece of crap.” Lydia agreed.
“I hate that guy.” Barbara said.
“Me too.” Adam was quick to echo the sentiment.
“He can suck a bag of dicks.” Beetlejuice yelled.
“Thanks everyone.” Delia grinned at them all. “Though since we’re going to be making cards for one another today, I’d love a ‘Screw Otho’ card from all of you.”
“Ah yes, the four main card-exchanging holidays: Birthdays, Valentines, Christmas, and Fuck Otho.” Lydia deadpanned, though she soon offered Delia a good-natured smile to let her stepmum know she was just poking fun.
“Language, young lady.” Charles tutted.
“They’re just words, Chuck, it ain’t hurting anyone.” Beetlejuice said. “Unlike eating paint, apparently. Lucky I had the foresight not to eat all the red paint, we need it for all those holidays. The fire of birthday candles, the colour of hearts, Santa's outfit, and Otho’s blood.”
“The real reason was that you wanted to put it on your lips so you could leave red kiss marks on Barbara and Adam’s faces like some sort of old-timey cartoon.”
“Oh yeah!” Beetlejuice grinned. “Hey, that’s a good idea!”
“That’s not traditionally done with paint.” Adam explained, his cheeks flushing a faint red.
“I have some lipstick you can borrow, if you’d like.” Barbara told Beetlejuice, taking the tube of red from him. “You’re not to put paint anywhere near your mouth, okay?”
“Fine.” Beetlejuice drew out the word then pouted. “The memory loss sucks anyway. My paint-eating days are behind me.”
“Now that that’s settled,” Delia said. “How about a trip to the craft store to replenish our supplies?”
“With Beetlejuice?” the demon asked.
“Oh, boy.” Charles was already mumbling to himself. “If he’s on his best behaviour.”
“Woohoo!” Beetlejuice cheered. “Race you to the car, Lyds!”
The Beetlejuice and Deetz trip to the craft store was relatively successful, in that they were able to acquire paints, pencils, glue, glitter, tape, stickers, and card stock. But of course, mischief followed Beetlejuice and Lydia wherever they went. Charles had just finished paying before a glitter bomb the two were making exploded prematurely, covering the store in the sparkly substance.
“Haha, oops.” Was all Beetlejuice had to say before grabbing the supplies and running out of the store.
With a shrug, Lydia followed.
“Sorry—” Charles started, though Delia interrupted.
“You know, I think all the glitter on the floor and bench and… everywhere… gives this place a better energy. If you think about it, this was actually a good thing.”
The attendant didn’t seem to agree, with the Deetzes promptly being kicked out.
However, that didn’t put a damper on the day, with even Charles admitting the look on the shop attendants face was pretty funny. With the art supplies successfully brought home, and some fresh cookies the Maitlands had baked while the others were out, the room was filled with good spirits and laughter as everyone worked on their cards.
“When is your birthday, honey?” Adam asked while working on said demon’s birthday card.
“Well, I was born in the Netherworld, outside of time, so I don’t really have a specific day I was birthed on.” Beetlejuice shrugged. “Us demons are meant to be born in the world of the living for that reason, but you’ve met my mom, she couldn’t be bothered with me.” Flecks of blue began seeping into his otherwise green locks. “But that’s what makes me so special.”
“We should pick a day to celebrate your birthday.” Adam said. “Even if it won’t actually be your birth day.”
“I’d like that.” Beetlejuice mumbled.
“April 1st?” Lydia suggested.
“On April fools?” Beetlejuice grinned, the blue in his hair fading slightly. “That way I can tell people that my birthday is today, and they’ll be like ‘no it’s not you’re just trying to fool me’, and I’ll be like ‘no it really is’, and then they’ll feel all foolish for doubting me in the first place.” He paused. “But technically they’d be right to doubt me, because that’s not my real birthday, because I don’t have one.”
“Then what about Halloween?” Charles tried.
“Nah, too predictable.” Beetlejuice grumbled. “I hate being predictable.”
“Why not today?” Delia suggested. “October 7 is a good day, and you’ll get five amazing home made cards immediately to help cheer you up.”
“Or what about on World Card Making Day in general?” Barbara said.
“Hey, you stole my idea.” Delia said. “As my guru Otho always said: be the best version of yourself rather than a bad copy of someone else… unless that person is named Otho, then you should copy him… Ugh, why did I follow that guy for so long?”
Wordlessly, the family all handed over their ‘Screw Otho’ cards to Delia, who accepted them with a thanks.
“I don’t mean on October 7.” Barbara clarified. “The date of World Card Making Day changes each year. It’s always on the first Saturday of October, meaning it falls anywhere from the 1st to the 7th. That way his birthday doesn’t have a set date, because he wasn’t born on a specific day, but we also all know when to celebrate.”
With a smile and nod, Beetlejuice waved his arm and the room was redecorated with streamers and a black-and-white striped banner that read ‘Happy Birthday Beetlejuice’ in green text.
“Happy birthday, Mr. Juice.” Charles was the first to hand over a card. It was a rather generic painting of a cake. “I’m not good with this stuff.”
After reading the rather generic happy birthday message inside, Beetlejuice waved his arm again. The painting of the cake disappeared from the card and appeared in the real world. “Thanks, Chuck, looks delicious!”
Delia was next to present a card, which sported the signature black-and-white stripes.
“Happy birthday, Beetlejuice,” he read aloud. “I’m glad we’ve had the chance to get to know each other and hang out more.”
At the bottom it was signed ‘Darla’, which was then crossed out with Delia written beside it with a sticker of a tongue out emoji.
“I’m glad too.” Beetlejuice replied.
Next was the joint card from Barbara and Adam, which had a sweet drawing of them hugging Beetlejuice.
“I won’t read this one out loud, just in case the sentimental birthday message gets a bit X-rated.” Beetlejuice announced. “I am a very sexual being.”
“It’s a birthday message.” A clearly flustered Adam stammered. “Not some kind of…” he flailed his arms.
“Erotic fanfiction?” Barbara took her husband’s hand and gave it a squeeze.
“Yes, exactly.” Adam said.
“True, this fanfiction is only T-rated.” Beetlejuice shrugged. “What a bummer.”
“What?” Adam replied.
“And Lydia!” Beetlejuice changed the topic. “What have you got for me?”
Lydia presented her card. “It’s us, during our three day haunt.”
“Woah! There’s that pie lady, and the girl scout, and the delivery, pizza, and census guys.”
“That many people came to our house during those three days?” Charles asked. “That’s a lot.”
“I know!” Beetlejuice replied. “That’s what I said!”
“There’s no birthday message yet. I wasn’t expecting to show it to you today.” Lydia said as he flipped open the card. “I was planning on filling it with photos, and writing around them, but I haven’t had time to go through and pick out the best ones.”
“But there is a beautiful birthday message.” He pointed to where she’d written ‘BFFFFs forever’ in the top corner. “Thanks, Lyds. And thanks everyone, best (and only) birthday ever!”
“What does ‘best open bracket and only close bracket birthday ever’ even mean?” Charles asked, but the family were quick to shrug and move on, especially as Beetlejuice began cutting the cake.