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Tam never wore short sleeves. Not since he had gotten his ability. He claimed he was always cold. Described it as the shadows seeping into his bones, chilling him from the inside out. Explained that he could just always feel the chill that his gift required.
Linh had only believed that for the first few years. After they started at Exillium, Tam was one of the best at temperature regulation. Almost like he'd learned it before. But still he wore the long sleeves and claimed he was "just cold." When Linh confronted him about it, the excuse was that it took too much effort to use it to the level he constantly needed. So he just didn't.
She had never believed that. She'd seen him literally sweating sometimes. Seen when he thought no one was watching and fanned at his face. Linh had tried to help once when seeing that. Tried to go over and push up the horrid sleeves. It had been one of the few times he had yelled at her in pure anger. The shadows had flooded out of him, and for the first time, Linh was afraid of her twin.
The years had only made it worse. Anytime she so much as touched anywhere down from his elbow, Tam flinched and pulled away. It worried the young girl. She couldn't think of any reason for him to lie so obviously to her. They'd always told each other everything. Except this. The secret sat between them, a wedge driving them apart.
One night Linh woke up to a harsh cry of pain. Instantly scared, she tried to turn to Tam. But he wasn't sleeping next to her like he normally did. With quiet feet, Linh crept out of the tent. Sitting by the stream they'd found the day before, was Tam.
His legs were folded neatly under him, criss-cross applesauce. His head bowed down, bangs falling freely in front of his eyes. His arms were tucked in front of him, concealed from Linh's initial view. He was trembling in what she's not sure was cold or anger. Linh stared in curiosity.
That is, until another guttural sob broke the night. Linh rushed to her twin's side. She landed on her knees with a painful crack. For once, Tam's sleeves aren't pulled down to his wrist. Linh covered a gasp of shock with both of her slender hands.
**Blood was flowing out of his arm from five large slashes. His other hand clenched a small but sharp looking knife. Another ugly sound was pulled from Tam's throat. He pointed the tip of his knife back at his arm.
Linh moved before even thinking. The tip of the blade had started to slide between the layers of his skin. Linh threw the bloodied thing into the stream. A small part of her brain pushed it to move faster, the water to carry it away sooner. The rest of Linh was busy tearing off a piece of her tattered tunic. She wrapped it tightly around her brother's arm.
Tam didn't seem to actually register what was happening. Didn't seem to notice as her soft touches wiped off his tear stained cheeks. Didn't respond as she whispered her worry into his ear.
Linh gently put a hand on his shoulder, trying to encourage him to lean on her. As soon as she started pushing, all resistance left Tam's frame. Linh barely managed to catch him before his head hit her knees. She wiggled a bit so her legs were out in front of her, before guiding Tam's head to her lap.
He made no more sound, but silent tears still traced fresh lines down his face. His breath kept catching and every so often, his fingers twitched. He lay on Linh's lap, eyes open, but not seeing.
Linh cradled his head close to her heart. She made sure his arm was propped up on top of his chest. Her other hand played with his hair, stroking it and scratching his scalp. Linh started to hum, an old song Tam had made up, based off of the windchimes. The two siblings stayed like that for the remainder of the night.
When they got up, neither of them mentioned what had occurred the night before. Their routine continued as normal, and Linh internally panicked that Tam would try and hide it from her if he cut again.
But then she noticed the difference. It was subtle, barely there. But it still marked a change.
Tams sleeves were rolled up past his elbows. His makeshift bandage sat on full display. As did countless scars from what Linh assumed were countless cuts done since he'd gotten his ability.
Tam's sleeves came back down before they went to Exillium. But with them came an unspoken agreement. From then on, if Linh tugged his sleeves, she was allowed to look, to see how they were healing, or see if he had any new ones. There were many times she checked, and new cuts littered the skin. But there were even more Tam would come find her to help him clean the cuts and bind them up when he didn't end up doing what he now did most of the time.
But most times, Tam'd bring Linh the knife and just kind of look at his arm. Linh would stop whatever she'd been doing, put down anything in her hands, and grab her brother. She'd hold him close, play with his hair, and hum, just being with him till Tam's body relaxed and he peered up at her through his dark hair. It was still a secret. But it was a secret they now shared.