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"Dad, I'll be fine." I tried to slip around my father, but the stout man in front of me had had a lot of experience being immovable.
"Try not to embarrass me today. The last time you went out on a Saturday I got a call to pick up my a sobbing embarrassment of a son."
"I'm sorry! I ran into Annie. It wasn't my finest moment. I'll try harder!"
"Hhump. Yet here you are, ready to go out with another girl, instead of helping your elderly father out."
"Sorry sir. I tried to tell her no. Ellie is hard to refuse. She wouldn't let me. I'm sorry." I could feel myself breaking down. I was going to end up sobbing before I even left the cottage at this rate.
"Why anyone would want to go out with you is beyond me. Don't be out super long and DON'T EMBARRASS ME."
"Yes sir." I ducked my head, staring at his muddy shoes.
"If I catch one whiff of a story which brings embarrassment to me, you won't leave the house till your 43." The shoes moved off to the side, finally stepping out of my way.
I trudged past my impossible to please father. I thought I heard him whisper "good luck" but knew it to be nothing more than my imagination.
The sun glared brightly against my glasses. Once more I wished I had fought a little harder for transition lens. It certainly would have made my life easier.
The walk to Araudon Prep was twice as long as the one to the mine, but I was used to it. Dad didn't like the idea of me living at the school, fearing it would cause vast amounts of embarrassment to him. I hadn't argued; at least at the cottage I wasn't being a burden to my peers. As always the walk provided me ample time to think, which wasn't always a good thing.
A date? Am I really going through with this? Ellie was amazing, she'd always been sweet to me. But I'd had enough experience to know that all it took was one misstep before the compassion shown unto me evolved into a raging monster. I'd become a burden to her. The unwanted shadow. But Ellie being, well Ellie, would never tell me that I'd become a bother. She'd pretend to be nice, while counting the seconds till I left her side.
I froze. What if that was already happening? I'd probably wrecked things yesterday. Ellie had probably rethought going through with it and was now counting the seconds till I was sent back home. I started to turn back around. No use annoying her more.
*BUZZ BUZZ*
I looked at my phone, puzzled. Not many people texted me. Maybe it is dad asking if I was ready to admit defeat yet.
I started thumbing my reply before even reading it.
Gray: Yes I've accepted that I'm a problem and am coming back home.
As I hit send I looked at the name. Crap! It wasn't dad.
EllieMySunshine: I'm so excited for our date! 😁 💙 😁 💙 😁 💙 😘
*BUZZ BUZZ*
*BUZZ BUZZ*
*BUZZ BUZZ*
*BUZZ BUZZ*
** 4 unread messages from EllieMySunshine**
EllieMySunshine: What!?!? No Gray! 😢 😭 😢 😭
EllieMySunshine: YOU ARE GOING ON A DATE WITH ME. I WON'T LET YOU BACK DOWN! 😉 😁 👫
EllieMySunshine: YOU AREN'T A PROBLEM AND I WILL SHOW IT TO YOU!!! 💙 💙 💙 💙 💙
EllieMySunshine: Understood?😁 💙 😁 💙 😁 💙 😘
High-ho she's mad!
Gray: Sorry. I don't know what came over me. I'm on my way.
I walked a little bit faster. No reason to make her more mad.
When I finally arrived at the school, my gaze was instantly drawn to Ellie was sitting out front. A frown decorated her face. It seemed so out of place. I wondered what I could do to fix it. Was it to late to run away?
*BUZZ BUZZ*
What now? Maybe this was the actual text from my father.
**unread message from Eros**
Eros: don't chicken out now! I see you standing there. Please man! I need this cuteness!
I looked up. Sure enough, there, on the third story, was Eros' head peeking out behind a curtain. Of course. Why wouldn't I want an audience for my failure? With a sigh, I started to walk again.
"Hi Ellie. Sorry it took me so long."
Ellie hopped up, a huge smile replacing the frown. "Gray! You made it!"
I stiffened as she flung her arms around me. It took a moment for me to remember this was only a hug, one of Ellie's favorite methods of greeting. It wasn't something I experienced at home; the closest being when my dad would grab me from behind to force me to do something. Thankfully, Ellie's grasp didn't feel like that. Still it took my brain a minute to step back from defence mode.
She must have felt me stiffen, for she pulled back and looked at me, her hands resting on my shoulders. "Are you okay Gray?"
"Yeah, sorry. Should we go?"
"Yes!" Ellie squealed.
"Right. The sooner we go, the sooner your do-gooder-duty is done."
"GRAYSON DWARF! I told you! This is NOT a pity date!"
"Sorry." My face felt as hot as the sun. "I thought you were only saying that to make me feel better about the situation."
Ellie landed a slap on my arm. "You take that back, Grayson. I would never do that to you!"
Rubbing my arm, I nodded. "Sorry." I whispered. I was unsure whether or not she had heard me. It didn't matter. She is probably just acting as if she cares. Maybe she is trying out for the school play! Or practicing a part? Did additions already happen?
I was pulled out of my musings quite literally. Ellie had grabbed my hand and started to walk, dragging me behind her. Her hair was in it's customary messy bun, which somehow made her look like a super model. Numbly, I noticed she had one strip hanging in a loose curl beside her ear. I wanted to twirl it around my finger, but assumed that would be weird.
We were near the trees before I tried to free her of guilt once more. "Are you sure you want to do this? Its not to late to back out."
"Gray!" Ellie turned back to me completely exasperated. "I've told you a million times! There is no one I'd rather go on a date with than you."
"Sorry. I just know you're going to change your mind, Ellie."
"You don't have to apologize Gray. I'm not changing my mind."
"Sorry."
Ellie laughed. It was a magical sound, somehow lifting the burdens and worries off my back. "You are adorable." She laid a quick peck on my cheek, causing me to turn the color of a fire engine I'm sure.
Once more she started off, and I trailed behind her like a shocked puppy. She had kissed me! Twice now! Once? Sure I could pass that off as a dare, or a show of friendship. Twice? That was a little harder to dismiss. Unless... the dare was to totally devastate me. That could be the case. After all, girls as amazing as Ellie don't fall for cave cockroaches like me.
I wasn't aware of how long we'd been walking, too lost in my thoughts, till I stumbled on the sand under my feet.
"We're here! This is my happy place!" Ellie spun around, her feet kicking up loose sand. She looked so peaceful.
What's it like to be like that? To know that people genuinely like you? That you aren't a check mark? A good deed, a task to be passed off on?
"Gray? You still with me?"
"Sorry." I hunched down. "I didn't mean too!"
Ellie laughed again, the sound somehow enhanced by the background noise of waves. It was such a pretty sound. I wished I could record it, to play back when I felt down. That though, was bordering on stalker behavior, which would surely embarrass my dad.
"Gray you don't have anything to be sorry for! You're perfect." A faint pink glow lit her cheeks.
"Perfect? Sure. A perfect embarrassment. A perfect failure. A perfect mess."
Ellie rolled her eyes at me. "That's not what I meant and you know it! I wouldn't change a thing about you."
"You don't mean that." I looked down at my feet, which were sinking into the sand.
"I do too! And I'll prove it to you!" Her voice sounded a little defensive. Suddenly her whole face lit up, like she'd had a most brilliant idea. "I know! We'll have a picnic! Picnics fix everything! There's a perfect little cove right over there. I already have the stuff ready, I just wasn't planing on using it yet!"
"A picnic? For real?"
Her face fell a bit. "You don't like picnics?"
"Sorry that's not what I meant at all! I was just curious! I've never been on a picnic. Sorry." I was rambling now. I felt a tear drip down my face. I never had wanted to offend her. "Sorry." I mumbled once more.
"You've NEVER been on a picnic?" Her voice betrayed total shock.
With another sniffle, I gave a slight nod.
"Oh Gray! Why didn't you ever tell me? That has to change! You'll love it!"
Somehow I knew she was right. I tried to pull backward as she reached her thumb to wipe my tear away. Here she was trying to share something she loved, and all I could do was create more problems.
"Sorry." I brought both my hands up to my face in an attempt to curb the tears.
"Gray you know you can trust me, right?"
I nibbled my lip. She was so pretty. And so close. I wanted to do something to show her I could be something more than a burden.
"Gray?"
"Sorry! I know I can trust you." Then before I could loose my nerve, I brushed my lips against her cheek in the briefest of kisses.
Ellie's face was twenty different shades of scarlet. I pulled back, afraid I'd done something wrong. "Sorry. I shouldn't--"
Her lips found mine, drowning out the last of my apology.