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“I can’t believe the crash broke my phone.” Dick complained, sprawling across the couch under the window in their den. He might have been in this house, this manor, for eight years and counting but he still didn’t know the difference between a den and a living room. He didn’t know why they were called two different things when they were the same thing.
Alfred had an actual explanation, but the explanation went over Dick’s head - he didn’t understand it.
Jason just called it Rich People Being Rich. Dick thought that he was probably right.
“So what? Bruce’ll just buy you a new one.” Jason didn’t even look up from the book that he was reading. Tim was beside him, playing a video game - he was the geek, and Jason was the nerd. There was a difference.
Superman help anyone not a sibling who tried to bully them though. Only Dick and Conner (or themselves) were allowed to do that - at the moment at least. Bruce had an adoption problem though, so there would probably end up more of them.
There was definitely going to be more of them one day.
“He said if I broke or lost this one it was going to be my last one until my birthday.” Dick sighed dramatically. “It wasn’t even my fault this time!”
“It was the last time, though - you set it on fire in English class.”
“Shut up nerd.”
“I’m not a nerd!” Jason looked up to glare at him.
“You are too. You’re the nerd and he’s the geek.” Dick jabbed his thumb at Tim. He looked up blearily, before he went back to his video game - clearly uninterested in their squabble.
He had gotten used to it quickly. Dick was so proud.
“Dick, stop calling your brothers names.” Bruce said wearily. He moved out of the doorway, and Conner hesitantly entered. He quickly went over to Tim, sitting beside him.
The two had basically adopted each other; which would have been a great thing - if they didn’t think that they weren’t real and alive and actually existed.
Dick almost thought that that was a good thing, however. Timmy had a chaotic streak that would either land him as a vigilante or one of the Supervillains they fought. A chaotic streak that Conner only fed - and one that brought out the dumbassedness in him.
They were the pair where they were both incredibly smart on their own - but put them together and they didn’t have a brain cell to share.
“Does that mean I can call you names?” Dick asked him, smiling at him brightly. Bruce just gave him an unimpressed look before he left again. Probably to go talk to Dinah about if Conner had let slip anything that he could use or that he needed.
She wouldn’t tell Bruce about what they talked about in the session, of course. But with the fact that Conner was half Kryptonian and didn’t know how to eat a sandwich before he had come to them they had come to the conclusion that if Conner told her anything that he’d need or would like to have she would pass it along. Conner still saw Bruce - everyone except for Tim really - as his ‘owner’ and wouldn’t tell them if he needed anything or not.
Conner barely told their aunt anything, still convinced that she was just like the other doctors that had experimented on him. But she had worked some kind of magic despite not being a witch or wizard or sorcerer, because Conner had actually worked up the courage to tell her that he was hungry way more than what he probably should be. (Tim and he had been talking about it apparently, so Conner knew that he wasn’t supposed to be hungry unless he was in trouble - which was what Dinah then had to unteach him and Tim.)
(Every time they got somewhere with the kids they ended up taking a violent turn to the left. It was a good thing they were good at the crazy.)
“Dinah said that C.J. wasn’t my new label, that it could actually be a name but I don’t see how just some letters could be a whole name?” Conner said. Dick and Jason exchanged looks of dread; this couldn’t be going anywhere good.
“That’s why they didn’t want anyone calling me T.J.!” Tim’s head popped up like a meerkat’s. “They didn’t want anyone knowing that they had me created! But it makes so much sense; why else would they name me Timothy Jackson?!”
“Because you’re Jack’s. Son.” Jason emphasized clearly. Tim waved his hand.
“That’s just their cover.” He said confidently.
“And they gave me C.J. before they gave me a name so they must have the same cover.” Conner nodded eagerly.
“I’ll tell Bruce that Tim and Conner took a backwards dive. Again.” Dick looked at his fourth favourite chandelier for help. Sadly, none came. “Or I would. If I had a phone. Which I don’t.”
“You just want to talk to the not-fast and the furious.” Jason snorted.
“I’m stranded here without him.” Dick said dramatically. “I’m all alone, there’s no one here beside me.”
“If you start singing I will NOT let you put your name on Bruce’s father’s day gift I got him. And I know your big ass doesn’t have time to go out tonight and get him something before dinner.” Jason put his book aside, trying to look all serious. Dick smiled at him, upside-down, and batted his eyes. Before he could say anything though, Tim interrupted them.
“It’s father’s day? Oh, that means that I must return home.” Tim put down his video game. Dick and Jason exchanged looks. “Father expects the house to be ready for him to enter, even if he won’t be there that day. I need to make sure that everyone did their jobs properly. He will be very disappointed otherwise.”
“Disappointing owners is bad.” Conner nodded in agreement. Tim beamed at him.
“No one has an owner - and Tim, baby bird - you’re not going back.” Dick told him. Tim looked confused.
“But it’s one of my jobs?”
“Bruce is adopting you, so it’s not your job anymore.” Dick explained.
“Oh.” Tim thought for a moment. “Then I guess I should find Alfred and see how he needs help in settling the house for Father’s day?”
“We should actually probably wrap their gifts I got them, now that I’ve checked the time on my non-broken phone.” Jason said, grinning. Dick stuck out his tongue. He would have done worse but there was a baby (Conner) present so he refrained. “It’s a good thing I got five for each of them this year. You lot can each give them one and then I’ll give them two.”
“Why do you get to give them two? I’m the oldest.” Dick complained.
“I think Conner is the oldest?” Tim tilted his head.
“I’m the oldest in terms of years living and breathing on this earth.” Dick amended. “I should give them two.”
“I bought the presents.” Jason retorted.
“Then I’m making the Facebook post.” Dick claimed.
“My father hated being tagged on Facebook.” Tim commented. Jason and Dick gave matching shark grins.
“We don’t let him hate it.” Dick said ominously. Jason cackled.
“What’s that?” Conner asked.
“In this case; it’s an online social site where you can tag a person or people to let them know that you’re thinking about that person or people on father’s day.” Tim explained. “I think in your case you would tag Superman and Lex Luthor, considering that you were made from both of their DNA.”
“You absolutely should tag them both in a father’s day post.” Dick vaulted off the couch, bouncing on the balls of his feet as he imagined all of the chaos they could cause, giggling wildly.
“We should have enough time to wrap presents and make him a profile before Alfred comes to get us for dinner.” Jason grabbed Tim’s hand and pulled him along. Dick grabbed Conner’s and followed, mind racing at the chaos they were about to cause.
Lex wouldn’t know what hit him.
And neither would Clark.