Chapter Text
“Oh my God. Oooh…ouch…”
Janet had just lost her footing on the steps at Caitlyn’s apartment and tripped, hitting her head off the wall on the way down. But her neck didn’t hurt and she didn’t hear any bones crack or snap, so she decided to try and get up on her own, putting her hands on the floor to steady herself before standing.
“Mom?” Caitlyn called out. She and Ellie were quickly walking towards her, and she extended a hand to help Janet up. “What happened? Are you OK? All I heard was a thud.”
“Yeah, I think I missed a step and fell over my own two feet from there,” Janet explained. I’m sure it’s nothing, honey; I may just be a little sore for the rest of the night and tomorrow morning, so I’ll take some Ibuprofen if I have to. God knows I won’t recover like I could when I was your age.”
“All right. Well, it happens. Are you sure you’re OK?”
“Yes. I’m just clumsy. But maybe I should sit and take it easy for a few minutes just to be safe.” Janet was compromising, knowing that Caitlyn tended to worry about her more often than she’d like, even if she understood her daughter cared for her and didn’t want to see her hurting, So, she started walking towards the couch, but it wasn’t long before she started to feel like she was walking through a fog, and she grabbed her head, wincing.
“I don’t know…” she stammered. “Maybe something’s not right. Things are cloudy. My head’s pounding.”
Caitlyn and Ellie both turned to look at her in concern. “OK, well, let’s not waste a minute,” Caitlyn said. “When you say cloudy, what do you mean? Can you see? Are you having trouble thinking?”
“I can see, but…it’s hard to think…this is so scary. And…I can hear my ears buzzing. What’s happening? Can one of you please tell me?” She sat down on the couch, and she groaned and grabbed her stomach, which had started to turn. What the hell? I didn’t feel like this when I hit the floor. “Oh, I could puke.”
“Something’s wrong.” Caitlyn told Ellie, who nodded in agreement. “Mom, you’re kind of pale and your eyes are glazing over. If you feel sick, I’ll give you a plastic bag or grab the trash can or something. You’ll never make it back to the bathroom on your own and I don’t want you to move right now anyway.”
“Why, what’s happening? I just walked over here. I pulled myself up after I fell. I’m sure if you or Ellie went with me, I could handle the stairs.”
“You might have a concussion. These are classic symptoms, and you definitely need to stay here for a little bit. I don’t want you driving home; you could hurt yourself or somebody else.”
“Can you take me then?”
Caitlyn shook her head no and turned to Ellie for help.
“Not right now,” Ellie explained calmly. “I think Cait and I should look you over. Or actually, I’ll do it, because Cait shouldn’t be treating her family. If I’m not sure what’s going on, I’ll call Mercy or County’s ER and ask a doctor if you should be brought in. Which, to be honest, I think you need to go to the hospital. But I’ll examine you first so we don’t waste an ER trip and make you more anxious if we don’t have to.”
Ellie took Caitlyn into the kitchen, looking back over her shoulder at Janet. “Will you trust me with her for a few minutes?” she asked. “I can handle it; I see concussions all the time, and I’ve had one myself, so I relate to what she’s going through. I’m not saying you don’t know what issues to look for; you do, but I think it’s best if you go relax and take some breaths while someone not related to her figures out what to do. I don’t want you to spiral; she’s going to need you.”
“But she’s my mom!” Caitlyn protested. “Are you sure you don’t want me to stay with her?”
“I’m positive. She needs space and some time to try and cope with what’s happening. It’s not going to help if you’re sitting next to her nagging and lecturing. I know you love her, but we want her to know we care about her and not make her feel bad. If we need to go to the hospital, you can stay with her to your heart’s content and I’ll go to the waiting room or to the Jumbo Mart—if we go to County—if you want to kick me out.”
“Sure. Can I at least do something before you examine her?”
“You can take a minute or two to talk to her and then bring me a pen light and a pair of gloves. I’m going to check her head for any bleeding, see if she might need sutures, and I’ll do a quick neuro check and look at her eyes. Did you see any blood?”
“No. And yeah, I want to talk to her.”
They returned to the living room, where Janet was still sitting on the couch with her head in her hands. As Caitlyn knelt down next to her, she noticed a few tears coming out of the corner of her eyes.
“Hey, I know you’re scared,” she said to Janet, putting a hand on her shoulder. “But Ellie just wants to check you as a precaution. Who knows, maybe this is the worst of it and you’ll start to get better and I can take you home. I’ll spend the night with you, or I’ll go get some stuff from your place so you can sleep here. You can even sleep in my bed and I’ll sleep on the couch. Either way, it’s obvious something’s off, and we just don’t want to take chances. Ellie’s great; she sees head injuries at work all the time and knows what to expect.”
“Are you going anywhere?” Janet asked. Her voice was shaking and she was breathing fast.
“Just upstairs to my room while she checks you out; she's basically kicking me out of the living room for a few minutes. I’ll be back when she’s done. And oh yeah, I have to grab a couple of supplies for her first.”
“OK. I hope this is quick.”
“I can’t rush this, but I’ll try to minimize your discomfort,” Ellie assured her. “I’ve got you, OK? I’ll take care of you in no time.”
“All right. I’ll take your word for it.”
Ellie finished her exam in less than 10 minutes. She had gotten through a brief neurological check and palpated Janet’s head to check if there was any swelling, but just as she was about to examine her neck, Janet had started crying again and begged her to stop. Not wanting to cause any more anguish, Ellie agreed to do so, letting her know she’d handled it fine despite her stress.
“Do you want me to tell Caitlyn to come downstairs now, or tell you what I think is happening and then we’ll get her?” Ellie asked.
“As much as I love her, I want to know what you think without her here first.”
“Cool. OK, so unfortunately, this isn’t the outcome I wanted. I didn’t get to look at your neck, but you do seem to be moving it on your own, so that’s a positive. But your pupils don’t look good and aren’t responding to light like they should, and I can tell you’re struggling to focus and process things. And you said your pain is an eight on a scale of 1-10, which is also concerning. I'm worried that you'll have more problems if we're not careful, so we need to get to the ER as soon as we can."
“Are you sure?” Janet gasped. “I can’t…oh God, Cait’s not going to take that well. You can’t keep two people calm. She’ll flip. Oh…no, please. Look, are you sure this is that big of a deal? Don’t do this to me. I suck at being a patient anyway.”
“I know what you’re saying. I had a concussion about a year ago, and I was scared when I fell and realized what was happening. With potentially serious head injuries, you can't mess around. Caitlyn is right; you can’t drive home, and you shouldn’t. And I really believe it’s best for a doctor to do a more extensive exam; they may want to order a scan or some X-rays too. This is not just seeing stars for a minute. You have a lot of signs of a concussion. Cait can sit with you in the backseat of the car while I drive. I’ll make sure she acts like an RN and not your worried daughter, because I know she'll be just as nervous as you, if not more so.”
“I don’t want to do it. I really don’t.”
“I understand. But try to be strong. Go to the hospital for Caitlyn, if for no one else. She’ll feel a lot better if she sees you agreeing to this and doing the best you can to get through the exam and any tests. No one is expecting you to be a superhero. The doctor understands you’re going to be uncomfortable. I mean, think of how you handle it when you have a nervous patient. You try to encourage them to relax or talk with them about their fears and then carry out the exams and procedures that you do every day. Plus, you’d want them to come in if they called you and said they were in pain or experiencing something unusual, right? This is no different. If the doctor is worth their salt, they can walk you through what they’re doing, and I guarantee you any of them have done tons of neuro exams.”
“What else will make this easier?” Janet asked.
“Maybe we can bring an extra blanket and pillow for your hospital bed? Or you can tell Caitlyn if there’s anyone you want her to call, like someone else who cares about you and can talk to you on the phone or come sit with you?”
“OK.” She closed her eyes and tried not to keep crying. “I guess you’re right. I definitely wouldn’t want one of my patients to ignore her pain. And one other thing…if Caitlyn were hurting like this, I’d want her to get checked out too. I would never leave her side if she had to go to the ER.”
“Exactly. You’re allowed to be nervous, but you need to take care of yourself too. Let me text Cait and let her know she can come down. I’ll tell her the plan and then we’ll go. It’s going to be fine; we won’t abandon you.” Ellie rubbed Janet’s back to soothe her, and then picked up her phone to text Caitlyn.
“All right, here’s your coat.” Caitlyn said to Janet. She was trying to move around like nothing was wrong, but she sounded breathy. Janet could tell even with her brain fog that Caitlyn was having a hard time keeping calm.
“Do you need help?” she asked.
“No, I should be fine.” Janet answered. She slowly stood up and started putting it on, her hands shaking as she tried to button it up. “Why is this so much harder than usual?!” she complained. “I did it this morning.”
“Because this morning, you weren’t hurt. Here, I’ll help.” Caitlyn had already put on her own coat, so she quickly did the buttons and smoothed it out. “There. We’re all set.”
“Wait!” Janet cried. “Something’s missing.” She looked down at herself and then started fumbling through her pockets, frowning.
“Oh, your scarf. Do you want that too?”
“Yeah. And…do you know where my gloves are?”
“Not sure. But here, you can borrow a pair of mine for now.” Caitlyn reached into her coat pocket and pulled out a pair of pink gloves. “They might be a little small,” she added before sliding them on Janet’s hands and undoing the top two buttons of her coat briefly to help her tie her scarf. “We’re not going far, though, so it’ll work.”
“They’re fine. I guess we’re ready now?”
“Yep. Come on. Ellie will hopefully have the car warmed up, and I’m not sure if you noticed, but she grabbed the extra blanket and pillow while I was getting our coats. You can use them in the car if you want and bring them inside with you. I’ll keep an eye on you, and I’ll try to stay in the hospital room once you’re taken back. I know it doesn’t feel like it, but it’s going to be OK.” With that, she took Janet’s hand and started helping her walk outside to meet Ellie.
“How are we doing?” Ellie asked.
“She has some coordination issues and is scattered; seems a bit anxious if nothing else.” Caitlyn replied.
“OK, well, you know that’s all pretty textbook. Just keep an eye on her. Let me know if she starts losing consciousness. And Janet, can you let us know if you think you need to throw up? I can pull over if that happens, but I put a bag in the backseat in case we’re not in a safe spot to do so. We don’t need to get run over by another driver while we’re trying to help you.”
“Mmmmm….” Janet nodded and tried to get comfortable in the car. “Sure. Yeah.”
“As long as you understand. Now it looks like we’re ready. County General ER, here we come.”
Janet groaned and rested her head onto Caitlyn’s shoulder, and Caitlyn put an arm around her back.
“You’re going to be fine,” she quietly assured her mother, holding her hand again. “Once you’re settled in, I’m going to call off work and then I can call whoever you want or need me to. As soon as I do that, I’ll come back to your room and hang out for as long as the doctor lets me. We’re going to help you. And I know you’ve said the ER docs at County are pretty good. Hang in there.”
“I’ll do my best.” Janet took a breath and tried to hold back more tears, but failed, and she reached up to wipe her eyes. “I’m still so cold,” she added.
“Ellie, can you turn up the heat?” Caitlyn asked.
“Sure. If it still feels too cold in a few minutes, just mention it.”
Caitlyn looked back at Janet. “We’ll keep you as comfortable as we can,” she said. “Go easy on yourself right now. We can talk on the way to the hospital, OK? Ellie wants me to make sure you’re alert, but don’t feel obligated to say a lot. Just enough so we know you can tell what’s going on around you and can communicate.”
“I don’t think I can do this, Cait. Be strong and all that.”
“You’re already strong. You’ve been for years. Focus on that.”
Janet decided not to push back on it anymore and just nodded as yet another tear went down her face, but this time, she noticed Caitlyn wiping it away. It was almost hard to think about how she spent so many years drying Cait’s tears, but this time, her daughter was doing it for her.
Not even the little gestures of comfort could help her feel better, though. It was going to be a long night.