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If you’re ever in the 118 firehouse and can’t find Eddie Diaz, he’ll probably be curled up in the secret nook beside the kitchen that hardly anyone knows about. He found it on his first week on the job, just a little alcove, big enough for an armchair (which he and Bobby snuck in when no one else was looking) and a small, round table, around eight inches in diameter, a foot tall, with ornate carvings decorating it. Eddie had found it at an antique store and thought it perfect for his little hideaway. Although there were no lights wired up in that corner of the firehouse, nor any outlets for a lamp, he and his Captain had found some LED lights, round, with a sticky backing that would attach anywhere. One was currently on the wall, the other above the armchair.
No one else knew about it, well, as far as Eddie knew, until that Halloween night. It had gotten to 8pm, and he was in a foul mood, especially after Carla had video called to show him his son all dressed up to go trick or treating without him. This was the part of the job he hated, missing important events like Halloween and Christmas. Christopher was growing up fast, and there wouldn’t be many of them left while he was young enough to want Eddie to take him. In a couple of years, he’d complain that he was “too grown up” to go out with his dad, and Eddie would watch from the window as he disappeared down the path with his friends.
Excusing himself from the dinner table, Bobby gave him a sad smile, one of understanding, not pity. He waited until he thought no one was watching and headed towards his nook, away from everyone. It wasn’t that he wanted to be anti-social, and it wasn’t that he didn’t want to confide in his friends, he just...OK, it was just Buck he didn’t want to confide in. He told that man everything, well almost. He hadn’t told him that he was in love with him, but that was on his list, just way down at the bottom. And he hadn’t told him his worries about Christopher growing up too fast. Because Buck loved that kid almost as much as he did. Maybe, he thought guiltily, even more. The two of them had been co-parenting him for years, even though neither of them acknowledged that fact. If he told him, he would just worry too. And he had enough to think about right now.
He threw himself down on the chair as soon as he got there, and reached over to press the light on, but something grazed his arm as he did. Something that wasn’t there before. The light flickered on, and Eddie almost jumped out of his skin at the sight of the...thing on the table. A large Halloween decoration – a skeleton pirate reminiscent of Jack Sparrow, sat on a pile of coins, with another smaller pile in his hand. His only hand. It was around a foot tall and looked really sturdy. And it was there, on his table.
Hearing a familiar giggle from around the corner, his lips turned up into a smile, and he looked up to see a pair of blue eyes peering at him.
“You can come out now, Buck.” He called, and, after a second, Evan Buckley strolled over to him, still laughing at his practical joke. “What is this, scare Eddie shitless day?” He asked, referring to earlier, when Buck had thrown a plastic spider at him, making him run into the corner (he did not, however, “scream like a little girl” as Buck had told Bobby later). He hated spiders.
“You should have seen your face!” He giggled. “Captain Jack here is harmless, found him in a thrift store.”
“Well, he looks haunted. And I really don’t want him in my corner, thanks. Or anyone else, come to think of it.” He said pointedly. Buck was never any good at taking hints, though, and Eddie remembered this as the blond moved closer, looked at the floor in front of Eddie, shrugged, and then threw himself down on his lap.
“Ow! You’re heavy!” Eddie moaned. “And you have a bony ass.” This was so uncomfortable, he thought as he tried to wriggle into a better position.
“Maybe you should sit on me then, yours is nice and cushioned.” Buck laughed, and Eddie gave him an altogether unimpressed look, trying to push the other man off him. He stayed firm, though.
“How do you know?”
“You think I can’t appreciate the best ass in the state, maybe even the country? Because yours is beautiful. Round, voluptuous, probably soft, like a nice cushion...although I don’t know for sure. Maybe if I touched it...” Eddie’s brain went into spasm at that point. Was Evan Buckley really asking if he could touch his ass? Not that he’d say no, of course. Buck could do whatever he wanted to his ass, up to, and including, fucking it. Not that those had been in some of his fantasies, of course. That would be weird and not at all something a friend should do...
“Are you…are you asking to touch my ass?” He eventually asked. The question sounded ridiculous as it came out of his mouth, and when he heard himself say it, he groaned to himself. This was obviously something he’d made up in his head, or he’d misheard, and Buck was actually talking about cushions.
“It's almost a compulsion really.” He shrugged. “Every time it’s in front of me I have to stop myself from reaching out and touching it. When you’re in that harness…Jesus...” he trailed off, the thought of Eddie harnessed up seemingly being too much for him to bear. “Anyway, what’s up with you tonight?” A quick change of subject, since Eddie did not look too impressed with the praise being lavished on him. “You’re too…you don’t look happy, and you disappeared after dinner.”
“Because I wanted to wallow in self-pity on my own, Buck. In my own private corner that I thought no one else knew about. And as much as I love you, I don’t think this chair can support both our weights.” Eddie moaned, and Buck’s head shot up as the words, more specifically, the words “I love you” entered his ears and flew around his brain. His eyes widened. “What?”
“N-nothing.” Buck stammered, and Eddie looked at him strangely. How could he not know? Had he not just heard himself? “I’ll get off, I’m sorry.” He scrambled down and sat on the floor, legs sprawled out in front of him. Eddie opened his own enough for him to shuffle back and slot himself between them. “So, why are you wallowing in self-pity?” he eventually asked, tilting his head up. Eddie started running his fingers through Buck’s soft curls.
“You need a haircut.” He muttered absently. “Getting too long again.”
“I know, Hen’s gonna do it later, she brought her clippers in.”
“Didn’t know she could.”
“She always does mine. Woman of many talents. And you’re changing the subject again. What’s wrong?”
Eddie sighed and threw his head back. Closing his eyes and letting out a breath, he felt a hand creep up and lay itself over his. OK, this is new…nope, not the time, he thought as the fingers wrapped around the sides of his hand.
“Oh, you know, just…Carla called to show me Christopher’s costume and it hit me how big he’s getting. Soon he’ll be a teenager and not want or need my help, and then he’ll be off to college, and I’ll be alone.”
“No, you won’t. You’ve got me, and I’m not planning on going anywhere. I mean, unless I get struck by lightning again…”
“Not funny, Buck.” Seeing that beautiful grin, he lightly swatted the side of his friend’s head. “But seriously, you need to find someone, get married, live happily ever after, have kids, the whole thing. No one is gonna want a third wheel in their marriage.”
“Eds…stop, please. You’re right, I do want all that, but I already have some of it. I’ve found someone I want to spend the rest of my life with, and I have a kid who has been the best thing to ever happen to me. Even though I’m not his dad and wasn’t there for the first seven years of his life, I love him like he was my own. Because he’s an awesome kid. And I know he’s growing up way too fast, it depresses the fuck out of me too.” Their eyes met, and Eddie swallowed nervously. Was…was he saying what he thought he was saying? Or was this just another weird daydream? He seemed to be having a lot of those lately, Hen had even called him out on one of them, quietly asking if he was thinking about his husband again, tilting her head towards Buck. He told her that nothing was going on, but she’d just gave him this knowing look. He swore she said “you’re both idiots” under her breath, but she denied it.
“Um, so, hypothetically, this, uh, woman you’re talking about…” Eddie started carefully.
“Man, it’s a man, Eds. And I hadn’t told him how I felt because I was scared of how he’d react. But if we’re talking hypothetically, someone may have told me that he told her that he feels the same way.” He paused, waiting for a response, but none came. “And if they did, I may have booked a table at his favorite Italian restaurant tomorrow evening, say, at seven?” He went on. Eddie was aware he was still staring into those baby blue eyes, and that neither of them wanted to break their gaze. He was also aware that their hands were still joined, and he made no attempt to pull his away, in fact, he squeezed it and gave the man below him a slight nod to continue.
“And the person that told me that this man loves me back, well, she might have bet a night’s babysitting on me telling him that I loved him tonight.” Buck finished, his heart beating twice as fast as normal, both looking forward to, and dreading the next words that would come out of Eddie’s mouth. Because those words had the power to make him happy, maybe happier than he’d ever been in his life. Or they could completely break him.
“That sounds like a safe bet. You should take it.” Was the eventual answer, so quiet that he barely heard it.
“I already did.” Buck whispered back before pulling himself onto his knees and turning around so that they were face to face. Placing his hands over Eddie’s, that were placed on his lap, he looked up and took a deep breath.
“Eddie Diaz, you are the love of my life. I think I knew it from the moment I saw you, and I was a dick to you because it hit me like a firetruck.” Eddie let out a groan and closed his eyes.
“Again, not funny, Buck. I’d rather not relive your greatest hits tonight.” He muttered.
“Sorry, but I just wanted to say that I love you, I love your son, and I’m sitting here desperately hoping that Hen was right, because I don’t think I can take it if she wasn’t.”
“Well, I’d say it’s a good thing she is right, because I couldn’t bear to see your face for the next twelve hours if she wasn’t. Pick you up at six?” He smiled, then, hearing whispering from around the corner, he raised his voice slightly. “I’ll drop Christopher off at five!” More whispers, some groans and the sound of rustling. After a few seconds, Buck turned back around, resuming his earlier position between Eddie's legs, and Bobby crept around the corner.
“Paperwork is in the office, remember the rules, no PDA on shift and absolutely no stealing the firetruck, Buck!” He warned, and Buck rolled his eyes. You steal it one...OK, two times and someone holds it against you for life. That was six years ago! He’d grown up since then...Although, he could be persuaded late at night when everyone else was asleep...
“As if I’d do that, Cap. I’m a changed man. Two questions, though. One, who won the bet? And two, when did you fill out our paperwork?” He asked, and Eddie looked from Buck to Bobby and back again.
“What bet?” He managed to ask.
“One, I have no idea what you mean, betting money between colleagues is strictly forbidden. And two, far too long ago.” Bobby smiled knowingly before telling them that everyone was heading up to the roof, and that they should join them. Then he walked off, muttering something about “finally getting heads out of their asses” and “five years...how did it take them five years?”
“Guess we’ve got some lost time to make up for.” Eddie said as he stood up, extending a hand down to Buck, who was still on the floor. The blond scrambled to his feet, and they stood there for a moment, face to face, before Buck leaned in and pressed his lips against the pair in front of him in a soft, chaste kiss.
“Yeah, we do. But that’s a start, right?”