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Felix Fraldarius is 18 years old. He’s a senior in high school and after graduation, he’s headed to Garreg Mach University to study pre-med. He likes cats, black coffee, and spicy food. He has never been in love before.
Felix has never understood romance, has never felt butterflies in his stomach or daydreamed about a person. He daydreams, yes, of things like fancy steak dinners and wrestling bears, but never of people unless that one time counts, the one where he’d dreamt about punching his asshole of a principal as he sat across from Felix and told him he’d never make it pre-med. Fuck you, Mr. Smith, Felix had thought, imagining his fist colliding with that giant nose.
But romantically?
Never.
–
"I hate prom season," he groans as a miniature flash mob breaks out behind him in the cafeteria. He stabs his salad, watching impassively as the cherry tomato bursts, and Ingrid glares at him. It's worse this year, now that it's finally their senior year. It's been a week since the theme was officially announced and the school hallways look as if Cupid threw up all over the lockers. There is glitter everywhere.
"Don't take it out on the food,” she huffs as if he's stabbed her instead. She’s watching the flash mob with a dreamy look in her eyes. “I think it's romantic. A girl in my class got asked by her boyfriend. He surprised her with flowers and balloons. I mean, who wouldn’t want to be asked out with a dozen roses?”
"It's finally our prom," Dimitri says, his eyes glistening. He’s been mouthing the words to the song the group is singing and Felix hates him a little. “A night to remember! Are you going to bring anybody with you?"
Ingrid, strangely, blushes and becomes very preoccupied with the remains of her salad. Dimitri turns his gaze, irritatingly sky blue and earnest, onto Felix. Felix stares back at him. Has Dimitri ever met him, or have the last eighteen years been a very strange hallucination? Dimitri finally sighs and looks away, conceding the point.
"Well, I'll be bringing Edelgard. She doesn't have a prom at her school and has mentioned she'd like to go," Dimitri says, speaking of his step-sister. Things had been rocky when they first met but they've developed a strange sort of friendship-rivalry-siblinghood since. Felix has met her a few times and he approves of her dry humor and directness.
“I’ll just go alone,” Felix shrugs, finishing his food. He chews and swallows, ignoring the way his friends exchange looks as if he isn’t sitting right in front of them. “What? It’s not that big of a deal.”
“You’re no fun,” Ingrid sighs as the bell rings, signaling the end of lunch.
--
Ingrid shows up late to fourth period holding a dozen red roses. Dimitri's eyes grow comically wide but before he can say anything, she slaps a hand over his mouth. "No," she says, her face scarlet. "Not a single word."
She glares at Felix, as if he was the kind to be getting excited over dead flora, and he just shrugs at her. Somehow, it makes her shoulders sag and Felix feels a pang of what might be guilt.
“They’re nice,” he offers lamely, and she perks up a bit. “You can put them in my water bottle.” He unscrews the top and hands it to her.
“Thanks,” she says, looking down at them with a soft expression on her face. She won’t take the water bottle, but their teacher offers her a mug. During the lecture, she runs her hands down one of the stems and Felix wants to tell her to stop before she gets snagged on a thorn.
—
To Felix's absolute horror, he's stopped by a girl he doesn't recognize on his way home. They’re on the street right outside of the main school building. Dimitri crashes into him from behind and Felix only just manages to stay standing, ignoring his spluttered apologies. She looks right at him and he squints, trying to place her in his memory. She’s only vaguely familiar - maybe an underclassman?
She’s holding a frilly bouquet which she thrusts unceremoniously into his hands and blurts out "willyougotopromwithme" before he can stop her. Felix feels his world stop for a moment as his brain struggles to catch up. He can practically feel Dimitri vibrating from behind him.
No thank you , a voice that sounds strangely like Glenn's says in his mind. It was very kind of you to offer, but I must decline.
"But I don’t know you?” Comes out of his mouth instead and Dimitri makes a choking noise. Felix awkwardly hands the bouquet back to her and pats her on the shoulder once. “Have a good weekend.”
—
Later that night, Felix is sprawled on his bed, video chatting with his friends. Although he sees Dimitri and Ingrid at school, Sylvain left for GMU two years ago. They’d all grown up together so once he’d gone, their group had felt incomplete. Ingrid had suggested a regular call for the four of them, and the tradition has quickly become one of Felix’s favorite days of the month, though he’d deny it if anybody asked.
Sylvain absolutely loses it when the story is recounted. “Felix," he gasps in between bouts of hysterical laughter, wiping away actual tears from the corners of his eyes. "You did not ."
"He did," Dimitri says miserably. Felix wants to hang up but he at least owes Dimitri for stepping in to console the girl after she'd burst into tears. Dimitri had been very kind, offering her some tissues and a ride home, but she’d run off.
“I gave the flowers back!”
"Goddess, Fe - " Sylvain's next words are lost as he succumbs to another fit of laughter.
Ingrid on the other hand is absolutely appalled. "Felix! That poor girl. Think of how she must feel. You have to apologize to her!”
"But I really don't know her!" Felix snaps, feeling his face heating up. “How am I supposed to find a stranger?”
“Her name is Monica," Dimitri supplies helpfully. "She's in class 4-B and was in our honors calculus class for a while."
Felix thinks for a moment. He vaguely remembers someone that fits Monica's description crying loudly as midterms were passed back. "Oh, the one that flunked out."
"Do not say that to her," Sylvain manages to wheeze, doing his absolute worst to calm down.
"Definitely do not say that to her,” Ingrid echoes, a pained look on her face. She looks as if she could reach through the screen and throttle him. “Did Glenn get all the charisma in the family?"
"Apparently," Felix shrugs. It doesn't really bother him. After all, he's unlikely to come across her in the future and he's sure she'll get over him quickly. She doesn’t even know him!
"Felix," Ingrid pleads, desperation in her tone as if she can sense that he’s going to try worming out of this. "Please apologize to her tomorrow. I am literally begging you. I will buy you coffee for a week.”
"I'll help you come up with a script," Sylvain offers brightly, waggling his eyebrows in a way that makes it look like a caterpillar is wriggling across his forehead. Felix cringes.
"No," Felix and Ingrid say in unison.
"That would be a great idea," Dimitri says and then pretends he doesn’t. Felix could strangle him. "Sylvain is good with the ladies," he says, somewhat sulkily.
"I don't want to be good with the ladies ," Felix says, absolutely appalled. Sylvain snorts around another laugh.
"Try not to look like you've swallowed rotten meat tomorrow,” he offers, dabbing his eyes. “That’ll help.”
Felix grimaces.
"Maybe I should apologize instead," Ingrid groans, knocking her forehead into her phone camera.
--
Somehow, by the next day, everybody in the entire school has heard of what happened yesterday, and whispers and laughter follow Felix as he goes from class to class. Felix passes a group of girls who immediately stop talking as he walks by and they stare him down until he ducks into the restroom.
"Did you really tell her that she was scum?" Someone stops to ask him as he makes his way to the sink and he scowls. He wasn’t sure when the rumors had gotten this out of hand, and plus, this is not the place he wants to have a conversation.
"No, I said I didn't know her, get your facts straight,” he grits out, tired after repeating himself all day. The guy holds up his hands in mock surrender. Felix glares up at him, another vaguely familiar but still unfamiliar face grinning down at him. He's got dark red hair that falls into his eyes and a swagger that reminds Felix of... he can't quite put his finger on it.
"Don't kill me, I thought it was funny," he laughs, patting Felix on the shoulder. Felix barely restrains himself from punching him in the face. "Well, I take it you’re not taking her then. If you're still dateless, how about going with me?"
Felix is stunned for the second time in two days. "I don't know you either," is all he can say.
"You could get to know me," the guy - Calvin? George? - says with a leer that feels oddly familiar. For some reason, it makes Felix feel prickly hot and uncomfortable, and all he knows in that moment is that he definitely doesn't want to go with him .
"No."
"C'mon, it'll be fun!"
" No ."
"What, don’t tell me you have a date already?"
Felix spares a brief split second to think about this, his mind spinning through the tiny list that is his social sphere and landing on Glenn. Glenn is his older brother and therefore loves him enough to spend the evening with him, right? “Yes, there’s someone I’m bringing.”
–
"Absolutely not," Glenn says later when Felix calls him. Felix scowls even though Glenn can't see him from the other end of the phone. He's fairly certain that Glenn is grinning on his end though it also sounds like he’s in the middle of cooking dinner. Either that, or he’s banging pots and pans together for fun. “As much as I love you Fe, I have..."
Glenn pauses for a suspiciously long moment.
"An essay due. A very important one."
"Right." Felix hopes Glenn can hear him rolling his eyes. "Some brother you are."
"Seriously, you couldn't pay me enough to go back to that place. Gotta go. Love you though," Glenn sings, smacking a loud air kiss and hanging up on him.
Felix sighs, looking down at his phone. He doesn't really know that many people other than the friends who are already going - and they’re unfortunately all paired off. If he doesn’t show up with someone, then Jeffrey is going to know and… With a groan, he hits the next number on his contacts list.
Sylvain picks up on the first ring. "Felix? What's up?"
"Willyougotopromwithme," Felix grits out in one breath. Asking Glenn was humiliating enough, might as well get this over with quickly as well. Sylvain is silent long enough that Felix wonders if the call has dropped. He checks his screen. The call is still connected. He coughs.
"Say that again? I didn't quite catch you."
"Will you go to prom with me," Felix intones flatly.
"Sorry, the service here is kinda bad - "
"Will. You. Go. To. Prom. With. Me."
"Felix? Can you hear me?" There is the sound of what seems to be a package of cookies being crinkled.
"You absolute shithead," Felix growls when he realizes what Sylvain is doing.
"C'mon," Sylvain laughs and Felix can picture his expression in his mind with annoying clarity. "That was the worst promposal I've ever heard. Where's the romance? The spice? The zing!”
"Do you want flowers?" Felix barks into the phone.
"Well, if you're really offering..."
"Fuck you. I'm going to ask Michael instead." Felix is about 60 percent sure that’s his name.
"Who's Michael?"
"Some guy in our class. He asked me earlier today. I didn't want to go with him so I said I had a date already." Every word feels like having a tooth pulled out of him. Sylvain already knows too much. On the other end, Sylvain sighs.
"Yes Felix, my sweet, romantic, lovely Felix, I will go to prom with you."
"Fuck off - wait, what? Really?" Felix doesn’t know what to do with the wave of relief that washes over him.
"Yes, Felix," and Felix can definitely hear Sylvain's eyes rolling. "But I still want those flowers."
--
Two days later, Sylvain texts him in the middle of lecture with a picture of a miniature bonsai tree and the caption "what the fuck is this". Felix grins to himself for the rest of the class.
--
They’re in Dimitri’s room supposedly studying for the test they have the next day, but Dimitri is busy with prom-planning, because evidently it’s not socially acceptable to take the bus to prom. “So, we've got me, Edelgard, Ingrid, Ingrid's mysterious date whom she will not reveal until the night of, Bernadetta, Ignatz, Felix... is that it for the limo?"
"Oh, and Sylvain. He’s coming with me," Felix says, looking up. He’d almost forgotten. Ingrid spills her coffee all over their notes and they spend a few frantic moments trying to mop up the mess.
"Sylvain?" She asks once everything is reasonably dry. “As in Sylvain Jose Gautier?”
"Yeah, that’s his name,” Felix says, shrugging as he dabs at his notebook absently. She gives him a strange, unreadable look.
"Why?"
"I didn't want to go with Mitchell."
"Who's Mitchell?" Dimitri asks, frowning.
“This guy I ran into in the bathroom,” Felix groans. He doesn't want to tell this story again. "He asked. I didn't want to go with him."
"Ah, I see," Dimitri says, nodding in an understanding fashion. "So you told him you already had a date and then asked Sylvain instead. You’re really going to prom with Sylvain. With Sylvain Jose Gautier.”
"Yes?"
"Why is that a question?"
“Why are you saying his full name like that?”
"I can't believe you got asked out by two people whose names you don't even know," Ingrid is lamenting. "We don't even have a Mitchell in our class."
"Tall, red hair, annoying face? Wears too much cologne?”
"That's Henry," she says as if it pains her.
“Well, Henry's an asshole," Felix replies, returning to his homework. Sylvain is marginally better, he thinks. He at least knows moderation when it comes to cologne.
"He kind of is," Dimitri whispers to Ingrid, who just groans.
--
Glenn, despite not wanting to go to prom with him, shows up that weekend to take him shopping. He beams widely at Felix as he bounds into the living room, pulling Felix away from his video games.
"I'm not wearing a dress," Felix groans. He can’t believe he’s actually having this conversation in earnest with Glenn, who looks way too invested in getting him into a ball gown.
"Please? You'd be so cute," Glenn wheedles, and Felix punches him in the shoulder. Glenn punches him back.
"Boys, no fighting," their father calls from the other room.
"Fine," Glenn sighs dramatically as if Felix has decided to shave his head and run off to a monastery. "A tuxedo it is. Get in the car.”
Glenn, Felix has to admit, is the fashionable one in the family. Felix dresses for utility and convenience, and it’s only Glenn’s intervention that keeps some variety in his wardrobe. When they were younger, Glenn would come into Felix’s room before events to pick out all of his outfits. Maybe he’s missed Glenn now that he’s off at college and that’s why he’s letting his older brother drag him from store to store, trying on everything Glenn shoves in his arms while spouting nonsense like “This one! Wait no, that color brings out your eyes more!” and “Absolutely not, Felix, that one doesn’t show off your figure at all.”
Finally, they settle on a midnight blue suit and the lining has little silver threads running through it that make it sparkle like the night sky. Glenn tugs here and there, turning him around to adjust, then steps back to assess his work. His lips quirk up. “Looking good, little brother.”
Felix glances into the mirror. It… Does look good. Wearing this makes him feel like a more sophisticated, older, fancier version of the him that’s usually in ripped jeans and hoodies, and he can appreciate the cut of the pants that Glenn had swapped out for the original pair.
Glenn snaps a few pictures proudly with his phone and after they’ve paid, drags him off for frozen yogurt, wincing when Felix goes for the unsweetened one.
Later that night, Glenn barges into his room without knocking and makes himself at home on Felix’s bed. “Felix. Felix. Feeeelix,” he trills, hard at work rearranging all of Felix’s pillows.
“Come on in, Glenn,” Felix says, rolling his eyes without looking up from his book. He’s got three chapters to read by tomorrow and he’s got to finish quickly if he wants to catch tonight’s episode of Kingdom Idol. Unfortunately, Glenn is loudly fluffing a pillow behind him and evidently is not going to stop until Felix pays attention to him. He sighs and puts his book down before Glenn starts to redecorate his entire room. “What do you want?”
“What, I can’t spend time with my favorite little brother before I go back to college?”
Felix narrows his eyes. Glenn sighs heavily.
“Apparently not then. So you’re really going to prom with Sylvain?” He asks in the middle of swapping his pillowcases. Felix frowns.
“Yes. Why does everybody keep asking me that?” Felix huffs and picks his book back up again, because maybe Glenn will get the hint and leave, but then Glenn suddenly appears out of nowhere to pull the book out of his hands before he can react. “Fuck, Glenn, what the - ”
Glenn leans in uncomfortably close, peering into his eyes unblinkingly. “Sylvain. As in Sylvain Jose Gautier.”
“Yes, that’s the one,” Felix says slowly, fighting the urge to blink as he tries to figure out what exactly it is that he’s missing. Why does everybody keep saying Sylvain’s full name? “How many Sylvains do you know?”
“Huh.” Glenn’s face is unreadable and Felix feels the irritation bubbling up inside of him.
“‘Huh’ what?” Felix snaps. It’s starting to seriously piss him off, all these people bugging him about taking Sylvain. One would think he’d actually proposed to Sylvain with the way everybody is starting to lose it. When his father had heard, he’d just patted Felix’s shoulder until Felix had gotten awkward and retreated to his bedroom to study. “Is it that weird to bring your best friend to prom? Dimitri’s bringing his sister, and Ignatz and Bernadetta are going as friends too.”
“Best friend,” Glenn says in the same way one says ‘dead rat’ or ‘rotting carcass’. He’s frowning now and Felix frowns back. Glenn opens his mouth as if to say something but he stops himself, and he sighs again.
“Listen, you’re the one who didn’t want to go,” Felix grumbles, reaching for his book back. Glenn holds it out of reach easily, this being a dance they’ve danced many times as children. “Are you that jealous?”
“Me? Jealous? Of Sylvain Jose Gautier ? No. Absolutely not. Wait, no, don’t distract me. Why him?”
“Why not?” It feels as though they’re having two completely separate conversations.
“Two other people asked you to prom, Felix. Two people who aren’t Sylvain.”
“Yes, and I’m not going with either of them.”
“What if somebody else had asked?”
“I don’t want to go with anybody else!” All of Felix’s other friends are already there. Why doesn’t anybody seem to understand that? Sylvain’s the only one who’s already graduated. It makes sense logically to bring him to prom. Plus, Sylvain is actually his friend, actually knows him, probably better than Felix himself if he’s being honest, and he’s one of the few people in this world Felix can actually see himself enjoying the night with.
“Fe, calm down,” Glenn says softly, and hmm, Felix must have been yelling. He hadn’t realized. He’s on his feet for some reason too and his face feels hot. “Ok. Ok. You’re taking Sylvain Jo - “
“ Don’t say his full name.”
“ Sylvain to prom.”
“Yes. End of story.”
“Okay, if that’s what you want, then okay,” Glenn says, pulling him into a hug. Surprised, Felix lets him. He doesn’t pull away - after all, Glenn doesn’t visit that often. He probably misses Felix a lot while he’s at school.
When Glenn finally leaves for his own room, Felix crawls into bed with his book. It’s Romeo and Juliet, and he’s just gotten to the balcony scene. Felix can’t help frowning at how easily love seems to come between the two of them. After all, they barely seem to know each other, and from what Felix knows of love - the way his father still speaks about his mother, Ingrid blushing down at her roses - it seems to be more than that.
He sighs, falling back against his pillows and looks up at the ceiling where there are plastic stars stuck up against the paint. When they’d been young, Felix had climbed the tallest tree in their backyard, believing he could touch the moon. Once he’d gotten halfway up, he’d realized how far he’d gone and started to cry. Sylvain had been the one to find him there and tried coaxing him down, but Felix had ended up falling and breaking his arm. When he’d gotten home from the hospital, Sylvain had been waiting for him in his bedroom.
“I put the stars up here for you,” he’d said, his eyes sparkling as he showed Felix the constellations pasted across his ceiling. “They’re a little closer than the sky, so you won’t fall this time.”
He’d been the first one to sign Felix’s cast with a scrawling SYLVAIN and a star dotting the i before dragging him back downstairs for popsicles. Felix still remembers how Sylvain would smile every time he came over and saw that the stars were still there, and the memory makes him feel fuzzy inside.
–
They meet at Dimitri’s house before prom so everybody can get ready together. Felix slips into his suit, grinning despite himself at the note Glenn’s tucked into the pocket reminding Felix not to forget the pocket square. He folds it as best as he can, then heads to the main room where Edelgard is doing Ingrid’s hair. She does Ingrid’s in a beautiful style that reminds Felix of elves, twinning little silk flowers into the strands the same shade as her dress.
“Oh wow,” Ingrid breathes, looking at herself in the mirror. She’s put on some makeup for the occasion, and the glitter on her eyelids is very pretty. Felix had told her so when she’d come in, and she’d pulled him into a bone-breakingly tight hug. “Thank you.”
“It was no problem,” Edelgard says with a smile, then they both turn in unison to look at Felix.
“What?” Felix asks, feeling a strange sense of foreboding.
“It’s your turn next,” Edelgard says plainly, as if Felix should’ve already known this.
“What? What’s wrong with my hair as it is?”
Edelgard frowns. “You couldn’t have been planning on going like that .”
Mildly offended, Felix puts a hand up to his hair. He’d actually dried his hair with the blow dryer as opposed to air drying it today, and that had seemed like effort enough. Ingrid just sighs and marches Felix to sit at her previous spot in front of the mirror. “Just close your eyes,” she says. “Let Edelgard work her magic. Trust us.”
“No flowers though,” he sighs, relenting. There’s no stopping Ingrid once she gets her mind set on something.
“No flowers,” Edelgard promises.
He dutifully closes his eyes as Edelgard and Ingrid murmur from behind him, brainstorming some absurd style for him, then Edelgard is combing out his hair with a brush and twisting locks in what seems to be a very complicated manner. After what seems to be a very long time, she pats Felix on the shoulder gently. “You can open your eyes now.”
His hair is half pulled back in an intricate crown of small interwoven braids, the rest left to flow around his shoulders. It does look good, Felix thinks. “Thank you,” he says, because he isn’t actually a caveman despite what Ingrid might have to say on the matter. “It’s very fancy.”
“Sylvain won’t be able to keep his hands off of you,” she says solemnly. Felix feels his cheeks flare up.
“It’s not like that!” He splutters, and she just laughs.
“Sylvain is here!” Dimitri shouts from downstairs and Felix takes the escape opportunity like a lifeline.
–
To Felix’s dismay, Sylvain is waiting for him at the foot of the grand staircase with actual flowers.
“They’re boutonnières, Fe,” Sylvain is explaining patiently, holding the clear box out to him. He’s dressed in a dark emerald tux that works surprisingly well with his red hair, and if pressed, Felix would have to admit that he looks good. “You’re supposed to wear these on prom night.”
Felix stares at it.
“It’s not going to bite,” Sylvain sighs, opening the box. Inside, a black rose surrounded by some tiny white flowers sits nestled on a bed of dark blue tissue paper. There are stars on the paper, Felix notes faintly. “C’mere.”
Felix takes a step backwards, hands flying up automatically into a fighting stance.
“For Seiros’ sake, I’m not going to bite either. Get your skinny little ass over here.”
With a sigh, Felix puts his fists down and steps towards him and Sylvain gives him a smile that does weird things to Felix’s insides. It isn’t the loud, flashy one he gives when he’s trying to impress someone, but something softer, something Felix prefers seeing on his face, and he’s not quite sure what to do with that information about himself. “Here,” Sylvain says, tugging on Felix’s lapel and affixing the flower (boutonnière, Felix, how many times do I have to say it?) to his jacket. Felix feels strangely aware of Sylvain’s proximity and the feel of his fingers. He can smell his cologne from here, a little spicy, and he notes that it isn’t Sylvain’s usual scent.
“I wanted to get you a red one so it’d stand out against your tux, but I figured you’d actually kill me for that one.”
“Wait, how did you know what I was wearing?”
“Glenn texted me.” He grins and then hands Felix another box. “Now you do mine.”
Felix opens the box to find a matching inverted version of his, a white rose with black flowers, and picks it up carefully. He peers at it, mystified. “… How?”
Sylvain just laughs and pulls Felix’s hands towards him, cradling the hand holding the rose while his other hand pins the stem securely to his lapel. The velvet is soft under his fingertips. Felix looks up at him and Sylvain is still wearing that soft smile. Sylvain’s hand is still around his, but the other one reaches out to tuck a lock of hair behind Felix’s ear as Sylvain leans forward. For one terrifying second, Felix thinks he might kiss him.
For one terrifying second, Felix thinks he might be okay with that.
“Felix! Sylvain! Stop making out over there and get over here for some pictures!”
Glenn’s voice shatters the moment and Felix’s heart nearly flies out of his throat.
“We’re not making out!” He shouts back, suddenly embarrassed as he tries to take a step back, but Sylvain just laughs and tugs him forward. His fingers around Felix’s wrist are warm and he doesn’t let go.
—
Glenn and their parents fawn over everybody and make them pose for an absurd number of photos, including, despite Felix’s protests, couple photos. Ingrid and Leonie, her mysterious date, look like they’re in their own little world as they stare into each other’s eyes, and Ignatz and Bernadetta take a few photos together, exchanging shy smiles.
"Come on Felix, you and Sylvain are up!" Glenn calls and Sylvain drags Felix to the archway leading to the gardens. Dimitri’s house has always been grand and ostentatious, but his step-mother has been hard at work redoing their gardens. There are now bursting flower beds, a fountain bubbling quietly in the background, and delicate fairy lights twinkling everywhere. "Now, try to look as if you actually like each other!" Glenn is shouting but his voice sounds strangely muffled as Sylvain pulls them close together. Sylvain loops his arms around Felix's waist from behind him and Felix freezes in place, refusing to let him tug their bodies closer.
"Are we saving room for the Goddess?" Sylvain whispers in Felix's ear, his breath tickling the sensitive skin there, and Felix, against every instinct he has, shudders. Sylvain takes advantage of his distraction to slot them together and Felix turns his face up to ask -
Flash!
Felix flips off the camera and Glenn just laughs as he continues to snap photos.
"All done," Glenn finally says, waving his camera. He’s pulled out his actual camera for the event, having the time of his life taking photos for everyone.
"You're sure enjoying yourself for someone who didn't want to go," Felix grumbles.
Glenn just pinches his cheek like he did when Felix was five, smiling brightly.
"My baby brother's going to prom, let me live," Glenn says, pulling him into a one-armed hug. Felix begrudgingly lets him. “It’s a once in a lifetime moment.”
“Not you too,” Felix groans. “Is prom really all that special?”
Felix hates the knowing smile Glenn is giving him because he has absolutely no idea what it is that Glenn knows and he doesn’t.
Once all the photos are finally done and the car arrives, they all pile into the limo, laughing as Dimitri nearly loses a shoe while crawling in. Felix finds himself squished between Ingrid and Sylvain, and someone turns on the radio to some upbeat, catchy pop tune. To everybody’s surprise, once the car sets off, Bernadetta pulls out a silver flask from underneath her skirts.
“Bernadetta!” Everyone seems to be shouting, and she’s panicking as well.
“W-w-was I not supposed to bring this?! I-I read o-online! This is wh-what people do for p-p-prom!” She stutters, waving her hands frantically in front of her.
“Do not worry Bernadetta,” Edelgard says seriously, though there is a ghost of a smile on her lips as she produces another flask. “I have read the same information.”
“Oh, tonight is going to be fun,” Sylvain whispers in Felix’s ear and just laughs when Felix tries to elbow him.
—
The limousine pulls up to the venue and there’s a path of gold and white balloons leading them into the ballroom where music is playing softly in the background. To start the night, there’s a banquet with surprisingly good food. Sylvain, with a wink, slides Felix some of his steak. In return, Felix gives him his dessert.
“You were going to give this to me anyways,” Sylvain says, a twinkle in his eye.
“Don’t push it,” Felix grumbles, eating another roll.
“Thank you, Felix,” Sylvain laughs and proceeds to make a show of licking his plate clean.
“Sylvain!” Ingrid yelps in disgust and only barely manages to refrain from throwing a bread roll at him.
The music starts to get louder and soon, people are pulling each other onto the dance floor. Sylvain holds a hand out to Felix, which Felix ignores, but with Dimitri’s help, he manages to get Felix on his feet and into the middle of their group. The floor is crowded and everybody keeps bumping into each other, but they’re all laughing and singing along, and Felix lets himself relax. At the end of one song, Sylvain grabs him and before Felix can stop him, he dips him dramatically and Felix nearly punches him in the face.
Against his better judgment, he is having fun.
—
“Too much fun in there?”
Felix doesn’t need to look to see who it is. He’s been outside on one of the little balconies, watching as the stars have started to appear in the sky, enjoying the cool night air after the heat of the ballroom. “It was tolerable, I suppose.”
“Coming from you, that’s high praise.” Sylvain comes to stand on the balcony next to him, leaning his back against the railing and turning to face Felix. “I was wondering where you’d gone. It looked like you were enjoying yourself. I haven’t seen you smile that much in a while.”
Felix dips his head to hide the blush.
“I guess… I get it now,” he admits. It’s not prom the dance, but it’s the feeling he gets watching Ingrid and Leonie waltz around the room with eyes only for each other and the complicated dance Dimitri attempts to teach Edelgard with way too many kicks and twirls to truly be a real dance. Bernadetta is laughing openly with Ignatz - she’s in the corner, yes, but openly - as they indulge in the chocolate fountain.
He’s going to miss them after graduation.
“I wish tonight would last forever.”
He doesn’t realize he’s said the words out loud until it’s too late. Immediately, he feels embarrassed, but Sylvain just hums in agreement and knocks their shoulders together. “It’s not weird to have emotions, Fe. I get it. I felt that way too, you know. After graduation, everybody goes their own separate ways and sometimes you don’t see each other again. Knowing that’s going to happen hurts.”
Felix lets his head drop onto Sylvain’s shoulder. “Well, we’re not going separate ways,” he mumbles, his voice gruff. “You just have to wait a little longer.”
“I know,” Sylvain says, simple and bright, as if it was always expected that they’d be together, that their paths would intertwine inevitably. “Just two more weeks until graduation and before you know it, you’re done. Poof. High school’s over.”
“Is it weird being back?” Felix asks. Sylvain tilts his head up towards the sky, considering the question.
“A little. I mean, I’ve been back, you know, but I didn’t really think I’d be here again.” Sylvain gestures at the party still in full swing inside. From their spot on the balcony, the music and conversation is muffled, and Felix wonders what their friends are doing inside. He wonders if they’re still dancing and, briefly, if Ingrid and Leonie are kissing. They’d been looking at each other all night, holding hands and laughing at some secret inside joke, and for a moment, Felix wonders what that would feel like. He’s slowly starting to see the appeal. Maybe there could be someone he’d hold hands with and dance with. Someone who made him laugh. Someone who made him feel safe. Someone like -
“Hello? Earth to Felix. What are you thinking about in there?” Sylvain asks, knocking on his head gently. Felix looks up at him, wide-eyed. Sylvain’s loosened his tie and unbuttoned the top of his shirt at some point during the night, exposing his neck and collarbones. His hair is slightly mussed from all the dancing, his cheeks flushed, and in the glow of the moon, he’s positively radiant.
Oh, he realizes with a start.
Felix wants to kiss Sylvain.
“I haven’t had my first kiss yet,” Felix blurts out. His inner Felix is having an aneurysm. Next to him, Sylvain is also evidently having an aneurysm. “What, don’t look so shocked!”
He shoves Sylvain, a bit rougher than he means to, and Sylvain just huffs in surprise. “You’re kidding me, right?”
“Why the hell would I kid about something like that? Forget I even said anything.”
“No, sorry, I didn’t mean it that way.” Sylvain touches his elbow, tugging at it so Felix will look at him. “I just thought… Someone must have surely…” He gestures at Felix from head to toe. Felix has no idea what he’s talking about.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
Sylvain has that weird look on his face that Ingrid sometimes gets when she wants to say something but knows she shouldn’t. Felix can practically see the cogwheels turning behind his eyes.
“Because you’re gorgeous , Felix,” he says, so softly and earnestly that Felix almost believes him. “Why wouldn’t anybody want to kiss you?”
“Fuck off.” Felix can feel his face and ears burning. He can’t even look at him. Of all the words he’s heard people use for him, gorgeous isn’t one of them. Athletic, sure. Toned. Decent, maybe? He wonders if it’s possible to actually die of embarrassment as he tries to remind himself that kissing is stupid. Sylvain is also stupid. Kissing Sylvain is even more stupid.
“I’m being serious. You don’t have to believe me, but…” A heavy silence hangs between them. Sylvain still hasn’t moved away from his spot and Felix can feel his body heat. Finally, “Nobody? Ever?
“ No .”
Sylvain makes a considering noise. “Then what about me?”
“If you tell me you’ve never been kissed before, I will throw you off this balcony.”
Sylvain’s laughter is a beautiful thing, like silver and moonlight and fuck, Felix must be drunk as hell if he’s starting to think these things.
“No, Fe, I’m offering,” he says, smirking casually as if he hasn’t just thrown Felix’s whole being into a state of chaos and confusion with just a few words. “I’ll make it memorable.”
Felix hates himself for actually considering it because he really, really wants to kiss Sylvain. Has wanted to all night, probably. Has wanted to dig his fingers into that perfectly styled hair and watch it come apart. Has wanted to taste the champagne on Sylvain’s mouth. He thinks about Sylvain pulling him onto the dance floor for “Just one, Fe!” which turned into five, six, seven more, his eyes bright and brilliant like little stars. Maybe it’s the alcohol, or maybe it’s because he’s caught up in the night, but he finds himself saying “Fine.”
“Wait, really?”
“You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” Felix mumbles, averting his gaze. Sylvain looks way too open right now for him to handle properly, not when his mind has been muddled and confused all day, when his chest aches and longs for something he doesn’t even know. A hand touches his cheek and he shivers without meaning to. Sylvain turns his face so they’re looking at each other again and Felix, well, Felix can’t look away. Not when Sylvain is giving him that smile. If anybody’s gorgeous, he thinks numbly, it’s you .
“I meant it.”
“Ok,” Felix tries to say but it comes out as silent air. He licks his lips and is he imagining Sylvain’s gaze dropping to his mouth for a moment? “Ok,” he whispers. Sylvain looks at him a little longer, then leans in to touch their foreheads together. Felix’s heart is about to beat straight out of his chest and his hands, he doesn’t know what to do with his fucking hands. He balls them up by his sides.
“Close your eyes.”
He does, squeezing them shut.
“Try not to look like I’m about to punch you.”
He scowls. Sylvain huffs a laugh and Felix can feel his breath against his face. He does his best to relax his expression despite the marathon his heart is running.
“That’s better.”
Sylvain’s voice, low and quiet, is doing terrible, terrible things to him and Felix is this close to throwing himself off the balcony out of sheer embarrassment because surely, Sylvain can feel how much he actually wants this, that this isn’t just some joke to him, and it’s going to ruin everything , when, without warning, Sylvain presses their lips together in the softest, barest caress and Felix fucking leans in to press closer. Sylvain’s lips part slightly on a silent gasp and Felix thinks oh, so this is what butterflies feel like .
The kiss only lasts a moment. Sylvain pulls back and Felix keeps his eyes closed for a second longer before he opens them with a shaky exhale. Sylvain’s face is still way too close for his heart to handle but he’s still smiling so their friendship probably hasn’t been shattered over this the way Felix’s heart has been. “Was that ok?”
He runs over a list of words in his head. His palms ache from where his nails have dug into the skin. Not enough, he wants to say. “It was tolerable,” he says instead.
Sylvain’s laugh is still silver and moonlight. Felix wants to bottle it up and keep it forever.
—
“Felix! Sylvain!” The door is thrown open with a loud crash and Felix jumps a foot in the air as Dimitri appears, his cheeks flushed and a plastic crown sitting crookedly on his head.
“Are you prom king?!” Sylvain asks gleefully.
“At your service,” Dimitri says with a low, exaggerated bow, and as he stands back up, loops his arms through Felix and Sylvain’s. “I have been sent to summon you back to the dance floor. They’re playing the last song.”
Inside, the lights have been dimmed and spotlights of shades of blue dance around the room. As they make their way back into the crowd, Ingrid finds them and beckons them over. She slips her hand into his, and leaning against his shoulder she whispers “I kissed Leonie”. On his other side, Dimitri bumps their shoulders together and he can feel arms, Sylvain’s, his mind helpfully supplies, wrapping around all of them in a big group hug. It’s been a long time since the four of them had this much time together face to face, he realizes with a pang, and it’s only going to get harder from here on out.
“Did you have fun tonight, Felix?” Ingrid asks him softly, swaying slightly to the music. Her lipstick is smeared and Felix feels a surge of happiness for her. He squeezes her hand and hopes she knows what he means. She squeezes back.
“Yeah,” he admits, and Dimitri laughs, knocking their heads together gently. The crown digs into Felix’s scalp and catches on his hair, but he doesn’t pull away for now.
“I knew it!” Dimitri says proudly, a king surveying his kingdom. “I knew you would come to see the beauty that is prom. It truly was a night to remember.”
“Oh fuck off,” Felix retorts without heat. He leans his head back and locks eyes with Sylvain, who’s standing behind them, holding them all together. Sylvain smiles down at him, a private little smile just for him.
“Thanks for inviting me,” he mouths and Felix’s mouth quirks up. The butterflies are still there.
Felix Fraldarius is 18 years old. In fifteen days, he’s graduating high school, and part of him is terrified. He also just might be in love with Sylvain Jose Gautier.