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There was always something about the unknown that enticed Nancy. Peering into the gaping hole of a tree as it pulsed and glowed, calling to her. She let it call, she crawled in without a weapon or a second thought and almost met her end because of it. It didn’t matter to her, she didn’t once regret it. Barb needed her, that was worth potential death.
Staring down into the dark abyss of Lover’s Lake, the only sure thing underneath the surface being Steve. He needed her, too. Despite the water being almost black in colour, that much was still clear. She dived in without wondering where the water ended, without even taking in a deep breath. Steve needed her, that was worth suffocation.
Sattler’s Quarry is silent. It doesn’t call to her, it doesn’t say anything. The most noise there has ever been at the quarry was when the fake body of a young boy was pulled from the water. Mike had watched it all happen. Nancy hates that. She hates that for reasons she can’t quite describe.
Either way, it’s quiet now.
“Midnight stroll?”
The silence is broken.
Nancy tilts her head a little towards the voice, no need for her to fully turn. She knows who it is. She has the most recognisable voice in Hawkins.
“Cold fucking day for it.” Robin squeezes her hands against her biceps and joins Nancy. For a girl who has appointed herself as the clumsiest person in the world, she has a whole lot of confidence as her feet kick over the edge. A pebble falls to its death. Except it won’t die, it’ll stay under the water, the waves and slow passage of time will change it. Reshape it. Nancy yearns to be reshaped. But she is reshaped. Perhaps she just yearns for it to be undone.
Robin’s arm is right next to Nancy’s, not touching but close enough to feel the electricity of it. Like waving a hand past the television screen and feeling the static. “It’s quiet up here. I never really noticed the noise of the town until it isn’t there.”
“Probably because your brain is talking over it.” Nancy responds. Robin chuckles and nods. She acknowledges it and doesn’t feel hurt. It prompts a question. “How do you do that?”
“Do what?”
“Not care.” Nancy says. “You seem to have a thousand different thoughts a minute, but somehow you manage to keep track of them all. It’s a talent.”
Robin looks out into the open air. “It’s easy, really. Once a new thought comes along I forget the old one. Or store it away for later. See, right now, I’m about to forget you just said that. Because I’m thinking about how that star up there is twinkling, and wondering why stars twinkle. And wondering how they choose the names for stars, and-“
“-Got it.” Nancy cuts her off. “I guess I’m just not good at the ‘storing them away’ part. Mine just seem to pile up.”
Robin looks away from the stars. “That’s not good.” she says, deeply serious. “You can’t make it stop?”
“I can. Sometimes. I think I just end up tiring myself out, to be honest.” Nancy admits. “It’s like there’s so many, and they are all screaming at me. And then I think of something else. Something stupid and inconsequential and suddenly it’s all… calm.”
“Are they gone now?” Robin asks.
“It’s quiet now.” Nancy replies. They sit in the quiet for a few moments, even Robin savouring it. But a thought returns. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“I called you stupid and inconsequential.” Nancy winces. “It wasn’t on purpose.”
Robin pauses, figuring out the sentence as if it were a riddle. “…You think of me?”
“Most of the time, it all leads back to you. The calm.”
Robin hums in surprise. “Calm. That’s a new one. Hyper, weird, outcast. Calm.” she says.
“Don’t sell yourself short.” Nancy smiles. “You are calm. You sat down at the edge of a cliff and looked at the stars.”
“That’s calm?”
“You didn’t look down.”
Robin picks at the skin around her fingers. “Did you?”
Nancy stops the destruction of Robin’s fingertips with her own, entwining them. She wishes she could tangle them up.
“I want to stay like this forever.” Nancy says, a thought that is rarely said. The few seconds after a New Year’s Eve countdown, the pile of unopened Christmas presents, the view of Sattler’s Quarry with Robin Buckley. It’s more a feeling than a thought. “I don’t want it to end. I don’t want to go home. I don’t want the clock to keep ticking. I can’t not live this moment.” The feeling turns to frustration.
“How did you always manage to do that? Make something bad out of something good.” Robin laughs. “It’s okay. We’ll have another moment like this.”
“How can you know that?”
“Because although everything is temporary, Nancy Wheeler, everything is also cyclical. The bad and the good.” Robin informs her.
“Awful lot of bad.” Nancy says.
“Is this not worth it?” Robin asks, the gentle sway of the trees harmonising with her.
“I guess.”
“Well there you go. As much as this is temporary, it’s also cyclical. And vice versa for the bad.” Robin says. “We’ll always have another moment because that’s how life works.”
“You make it sound so uncomplicated.”
“It isn’t, at its core. I think your brain has been doing too much screaming.”
“I think you’re right.”
Robin stands up, pulling Nancy with her as Nancy refuses to let go of the warm hand. “As much as you want to stay here, I want to not freeze. Hot chocolate and a warm bed?” Robin says, before noticing the hesitance. “Please, Nancy.” Her tone suddenly shifts. It’s more than enough to make Nancy cave to her will.
“See? Calm.” Nancy walks along with her.
“Okay. I’ll take it.”