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Seungmin wakes up from a strange but delightful dream of him getting trapped inside a chocolate factory overnight to find himself in a complete stranger’s bed.
Still delirious with sleep and with a sudden craving for chocolate, he opens his eyes and blinks up at a ceiling that doesn’t look like his. For one thing, it’s vaulted, while Seungmin’s tiny shoebox of an apartment is not. For another, it’s huge. This entire room is huge, probably big enough to fit Seungmin’s studio, and—
And there’s someone else in here, breathing, snoring softly.
Seungmin turns his head to the side, where he’s greeted with the sight of some stranger’s completely bare back.
For a moment, Seungmin just stares, because—damn. That’s a really nice back. Broad shoulders, toned back muscles, smooth golden skin…well except for the thin, red scratches going down it. This guy must have a really ferocious cat or—
Wait a second. Seungmin quickly processes that he’s not wearing clothes, and that he doesn’t remember anything from last night, and now he’s in some strange guy’s bed with said strange guy snoring softly next to him…
Shit. This guy doesn’t have a cat.
Seungmin curses softly to himself, then sets about slipping out of bed silently, without jostling the other guy too much. He succeeds and only nearly face-plants once, when his foot gets caught in the sheets. As he manages to keep his balance, he glances at that beautiful broad back, which continues to sleep peacefully. Always a good sign.
Seungmin’s clothes are on the floor, and he snatches them up as he darts for the bathroom. On the way, his head starts throbbing, reminding him to never drink that much again, or else he’ll end up in some rando’s bed.
Seungmin makes it into the bathroom, where he softly closes the door and flicks on the lights. He ignores how large the bathroom is, how its shower and tub are two separate entities, or the fact that the tub looks like it has jets in it, and focuses only on pulling on his clothes. Once he’s finished, he feels a little bit better—a little more in control—but then he looks in the mirror.
God, his hair is a mess. Pale, sickly skin. Dark rings under his eyes. He looks horrible. Feels like it, too, because he just slept with a complete stranger and doesn’t remember a thing about it.
The realization hits him like a punch to the gut. He slept with someone for the first time and doesn’t even remember it. The thought shouldn’t make him feel hollow and empty, considering he could care less about sex or the concept of virginity, but it does. It’s like his whole perception of who he is has been turned upside down, because this entire situation is not like him at all. He doesn’t go out and drink. He doesn’t flirt with strangers, because they’ll always get the wrong idea. He definitely doesn’t go home with a stranger and sleep with them.
But he supposes that it’s a bit of a blessing considering he doesn’t remember any of it. He was probably really embarrassing. Probably had really embarrassing moans and stuff. Honestly probably came in like one minute—wait a second, why the hell is even thinking about this?
Seungmin shakes his head, then winces at the throbbing pain. His mouth is like a desert. After guzzling some tap water, he splashes some cold water on his face and tries to tame his bedhead just a little more. Then he smooths over the wrinkles in his clothes and takes a deep breath to steady himself. He’ll have to be swift and silent during his escape.
Carefully, he opens the bathroom door, then slips back into the bedroom. Almost immediately, the smell of fresh coffee greets him, and he quickly looks at the bed again.
Shit.
It’s empty.
It’s fine. He’ll be fine. He’ll still try to sneak out, and if the stranger tries to ask him to stay, he’ll just say he has an early meeting and then book it out of here. It’ll be fine.
Outside the bedroom is the living room, which is also huge, with an entire section of the wall dedicated to floor-to-ceiling windows that overlook a wide balcony and the city skyline. Attached to the living room is the kitchen, which is also gigantic and full of gas stovetops and marble counters and the beautiful, broad back of the guy that took Seungmin home. The guy is currently standing at one of the stoves, thankfully partially clothed in a pair of boxers, humming to himself as he cracks some eggs into a pan.
Oh hell no. This guy is making breakfast for Seungmin? This is going to be so fucking awkward…
Fortunately, the front door is just down a short hallway lined with framed posters and other photos. Seungmin heads for it, keeping his steps light and silent.
Just as he’s about to reach the front door, safely hidden behind the short wall of the hallway, the guy in the kitchen calls out, “Hey, Seungminnie! How do you like your eggs?”
Fuck, this guy knows his name. Seungmin goes rigid, turning to look and fully expecting to see the stranger looking back at him. But the guy is still in the kitchen, though probably not for long.
“Seungmin!” the guy calls again, and now he’s walking out of the kitchen and heading for the bedroom. If he keeps walking, he’ll look right down the hallway and see Seungmin trying to escape.
Time to get moving.
Seungmin bolts down the hallway, where he fumbles with the locks on the front door and manages to twist the doorknob. He glances over his shoulder one last time as he slips out of the apartment, just in time to catch a brief glimpse of the stranger stepping out of the kitchen. But Seungmin doesn’t see more than that, because he shuts the door and then runs down the hallway to the elevator like he’s being chased.
Only once he’s safely inside the elevator and pressing the first floor button and the doors are closing does he let out a breath and sag against the walls. In the blurry reflection of the shiny elevator doors, he looks as awful as he feels.
“Kim Seungmin,” he mutters to himself, running his hands through his hair, “what the hell are you doing.”
If only he knew.
*
Seungmin calls Hyunjin on his walk of shame home.
“I might have had a one-night stand,” is what Seungmin says the moment Hyunjin answers.
What follows is a beat of stunned confusion, and then a squawk of a myriad of other emotions, a sound only Hwang Hyunjin is capable of producing.
“KIM SEUNGMIN!” Hyunjin shrieks in his ear. “You did WHAT?”
Seungmin winces, only now realizing that Hyunjin’s dramatics are killer for his hangover headache. “I know, I know, it was stupid and impulsive and I hate myself for it.”
“What? Why?” There’s shuffling on the other end which tells Seungmin that Hyunjin is sitting up in his bed in order to pay closer attention. “Was it bad? Did something happen?”
“I snuck out,” Seungmin says.
“Oof.”
“While he was making breakfast for me.”
“Oh my god. That bad, huh?”
“That’s the thing,” Seungmin says. “I can’t remember anything.”
“What? Wait.” Hyunjin speaks closer to the phone. “Do you still have both of your kidneys?”
“Excuse me?”
“Are all of your organs still intact? There aren’t any sections of you that were sewn back up?”
“I mean, I think I’m relatively hale and whole.” Seungmin honestly didn’t check. He was too busy freaking out over the fact that he’s actually had sex and can’t remember any of it.
“And you’re still alive, so I guess you weren’t drugged and murdered,” Hyunjin says.
“You guess?”
“Where are you, anyways?”
Seungmin glances around, the streets unfamiliar but expensive. There are high rises and Cadillacs and men in expensive suits and women dressed like they’re going to a fashion show.
And then there’s Seungmin. In a pair of jeans and a black t-shirt. With bad bedhead.
“Uhh…” Seungmin reaches an intersection and reads off the street name to Hyunjin.
There’s a beat before Hyunjin goes, “So you fucked a rich guy?”
“Hyunjin!” Seungmin’s face practically ignites.
“Was he old? Married? Seems like your type.”
“Old and married and rich is not my type!”
“Right, you drool over super muscular guys with hearts of gold,” Hyunjin says in a voice that Seungmin knows is paired with an eye roll. “You don’t think he paid you to have sex with him, do you?”
Seungmin stops, having never considered that. “I’d lose all respect for myself if that were the case.”
“I wouldn’t,” Hyunjin says. “Worth it, in my opinion! Unless he was like, really really wrinkly. Ew.”
“One day you’re gonna be really really wrinkly, Hyunjin.”
“Not if my skincare routine does what it’s supposed to do!”
Seungmin rolls his eyes, smirking. “He wasn’t old or wrinkly. He was actually young and had really nice skin…” his mind drifts back to what he woke up to this morning, and his heart skips a beat. “With a really toned back and broad shoulders…”
“Sounds like you shouldn’t have snuck out,” Hyunjin says smugly. “Maybe you should have stayed in bed and gone another round, hmmmmm?”
Seungmin snaps out if it and shakes his head, only to wince at the movement. “Anyways, I’m heading back home. Hopefully I can find a subway station. Otherwise let’s just hope that a taxi wouldn’t cost me an arm and a leg out here.”
Hyunjin snorts at that. “Good luck! And drink lots of water to help with that headache of yours! Just so you know, rice boy, drinking liquor excessively is also unhealthy for you!”
“Only if you do it every day, like you do with your little snacks, flour boy,” Seungmin shoots back, though he’s grinning.
“How do you know that this isn’t the start of some habit, hmmmmmm?”
Seungmin just snorts and shakes his head. “I’ll text you when I get home.”
“Ooh, deflecting as always—”
“Byeeee.” Seungmin hangs up.
He finds a subway station and heads down the stairs, where he reaches into his back pocket for his wallet. He always keeps his wallet in that pocket.
And yet, it’s not there.
Seungmin stops, then frantically pats down the rest of his pockets, thinking that maybe Drunk Seungmin put it somewhere else. With each pat that comes up empty handed, he starts to panic a little bit more.
“Fuck,” he whispers to himself. “Fuck, fuck, fuck!”
Someone walking by gives him a weird look, which he ignores, because he can’t fucking find his wallet and it has his ID and credit cards and metro card and basically his entire adult life—
It’s fine, he tries telling himself, forcing himself to take a deep breath. He just needs to retrace his steps and then he’ll find it. It will be okay.
Except…he can’t remember his steps before this morning. Which means if he lost it last night, then he’s screwed.
But…maybe he lost it this morning. And at least he knows where he’s been this morning.
Oh god. Then that means that he has to go back to that apartment…the same apartment he just snuck out of. Barely snuck out of. Going back there would probably be the most mortifying experience of his life.
Okay, how could he go about living life without his wallet? He could cancel the credit cards, get a new ID, buy a new metro card…it would be expensive, but he could do it. However, he wouldn’t be able to get back home. He’d have to have Hyunjin or maybe Minho come get him. Which would be fine, but he would probably be waiting for a while. And he’d be indebted to them, which is never a good sign, because who knows what they’d ask of him with that kind of power…
Ugh.
Seungmin supposes going back to the apartment is only mortifying if he makes it mortifying. He’ll probably never see that guy again. And he could even make up some story about how he actually left to go to the convenience store and pick them up some food or something to explain why he left and is now back.
Wait, no, that wouldn’t work—the guy was already making him breakfast. Why would Seungmin leave to go buy them more breakfast?
Might as well just tell the truth then, as shameful as it is.
With a sigh, Seungmin turns and drags himself back to the apartment.
This is so not how he wanted his day to go.
*
At the same time, in the same apartment, out of which Seungmin just made a speedy escape, Changbin flops down onto his couch as he holds his phone up to his ear, listening to it ring.
Chan answers on the second to last ring. “—ello?” he sounds exhausted, his voice slightly muffled. Probably just woke up.
“Hyung,” Changbin says, voice only slightly whiny. “I had a one-night stand.”
Chan hums at that. “One-night stands are good.”
“But I didn’t want it to be a one-night stand.”
“Mm, then that’s not as good. What happened?”
Changbin groans and squeezes his eyes shut, tempted to throw a tantrum and kick his legs like a little kid. “I went to a club last night with Sungie and met a guy and brought him home. But get this—it wasn’t just any guy.”
“Not just any guy, huh,” Chan says.
“Nope, which is why I’m so mad! Or, I guess mad isn’t the right word. I’m disappointed. I’m disappointed, hyung. He snuck out this morning.”
“Oof,” Chan says, probably wincing.
“While I was making breakfast.” Changbin pouts.
“Wait, you were even making breakfast for this guy? With your cooking skills?” Chan lets out an impressed breath. “Damn, must’ve been really hot, huh?”
Changbin sighs, his heart aching. “It was Seungmin.”
“Who?”
“Kim Seungmin.”
Chan inhales sharply. “Ohhh, like your first love and first heartbreak, Kim Seungmin? The one you dated for only like a year in school before you had to move—that Kim Seungmin?”
“Yup, that Kim Seungmin,” Changbin says, not sure if he wants to laugh or cry. “I literally met him in the club last night by pure chance and then he left this morning. I didn’t even get his number.”
“Shit.”
“I guess I got too excited or ahead of myself—I thought last night that we’d have the whole day together, that we’d have time to reconnect, so that’s why I didn’t ask for his number or social media or anything.” Changbin sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. “I really should have. I’m kicking myself right now.”
“Well we can always do some detective work and try to find him on social media,” Chan says. “Or you can always go back to that club—who knows, maybe he’s a regular there.”
Changbin thinks back to how Seungmin got completely shitfaced after just a few drinks and kept saying over and over again, I never do this, I don’t usually do this, I really never do this, this isn’t like me—
“Eh, I doubt it,” he says.
“We’ll figure something out,” Chan says. “Do you want to go out for lunch? I can get reservations. Might help take your mind off of it.”
Changbin sighs. “Thanks, but I’ll probably just head into the studio. I have a few tracks I need to do some fine tuning on.”
“Okay, if you’re sure,” Chan says. “I can always bring you something at the studio, too.”
Changbin smiles, the heartache lessening just slightly. “Thanks, hyung.”
“Love youuuu, Binnie!”
“Love you tooooo, hyung!”
With that, Changbin hangs up, then lets his phone drop onto the couch. He sighs as he tilts his head back to stare at the ceiling, all motivation to do anything today drained out of him.
After eight years, he finally found Kim Seungmin again. His Seungminnie. Though a lot can change in eight years, Changbin still had hoped that Seungmin would still remember him. Instead, it seemed he was only really interested in Changbin’s body and then leaving as soon as possible.
Changbin doesn’t really understand that. Back when they first met and became fast friends and then boyfriends, Changbin was a scrawny little thing. His body was obviously not impressive at all. And yet Seungmin had liked him anyways. He had liked Changbin for Changbin.
Changbin sighs and shakes his head. People change. No point in dwelling on it. He might as well go take a shower and head to the studio. He has a deadline, after all. And deadlines don’t wait for someone even if they’re heartbroken.
He drags himself off the couch and into the bedroom, where the bed is still messy and unmade from last night. Changbin passes it on his way to the closet, only to backtrack. He can’t stop himself from picking up the pillow that Seungmin slept on last night, pressing it to his face, and inhaling deeply. It still smells like him, like a mixture of some fancy shampoo and a cheap cologne. Subtle, but intoxicating.
Changbin feels sick. He should wash the sheets.
But as he reaches to pull the pillowcase off the pillow, there’s a knock at his front door.
Changbin hesitates, wondering who that could be this early in the morning. Not Chan, not Jisung…neither would arrive without letting Changbin know about two minutes beforehand. Maybe it’s Wooyoung? Sometimes he likes to drop by…
Sighing, Changbin tosses the pillow back onto the bed, then heads for the front door. He’s still clad in nothing but his boxers, but if it’s someone he knows, then they won’t care.
He doesn’t bother checking through the peephole before he opens the door, and this is the one time that he really should have.
He opens it, essentially half naked, and there in the hallway stands Kim Seungmin, shoulders hunched nearly up to his ears.
Changbin slams to a stop, his heart leaping into his throat. He came back, is the first thought to enter his mind. Seungmin came back.
Hope blossoms in his chest. Maybe things can turn around after all. Maybe they can spend the day together and catch up and—
It all comes crashing down when Seungmin blurts without even looking at him, “I think I left my wallet here.”
Oh. Changbin’s heart sinks again.
“Can I come in and look?” Seungmin says.
Changbin almost says no, but he catches himself just in time. “Of course,” he says instead, stepping to the side and opening the door wider.
“Thanks.” Seungmin still doesn’t look at him as he darts past Changbin, his head lowered. Changbin catches sight of some bright red ears when he passes, and the fondness in his chest grows. Ever stubborn, it seems.
Seungmin disappears into the bedroom, and Changbin can’t help following at a distance. He lingers in the doorway, arms crossed over his chest as he watches Seungmin dig through the sheets and look under the bed and search the nightstand.
“Have you seen it anywhere?” Seungmin asks. “It’s just a black wallet with a little cartoon dog printed on part of it.
“I don’t think I’ve seen it, no,” Changbin says.
“Shit,” Seungmin breathes, his head lowered in defeat. “I must’ve lost it at the club, then. Or someone stole it.”
“I’m sorry,” Changbin can’t help saying. “I wish I could be of more help.”
“It’s alright. I guess stuff like this just happens.” With a sigh, Seungmin stands from where he was crouched on the floor to look under the bed. He glances at the bed one last time before finally turning to look at Changbin.
Changbin sees the exact moment that Seungmin’s expression changes. How he looks at him, his eyes going to Changbin’s chest and folded arms before darting to his face, where they linger. His eyes widen and his lips part, and maybe if the lighting was better in here, Changbin could say that his face pales as well.
Seungmin honestly looks like he’s never seen Changbin before, which is strange, because he looked at Changbin for the first time with a similar expression last night.
Changbin doesn’t really know what to say, so his mouth decides to go without him. “You left in a hurry this morning.”
Seungmin blinks, his eyes widening even further as his ears turn even redder. “Er—yeah. I…I panicked.”
Changbin nods slowly at that. “All good,” he says. “I was just curious.”
“I don’t usually do this,” Seungmin blurts. Changbin raises an eyebrow, and Seungmin winces. “I…I don’t usually go to clubs and get so drunk that I don’t remember anything and then go home with someone. And I usually don’t sneak out the next morning like I’m being chased. But…yeah, I panicked.”
“No harm done,” Changbin says, like a liar.
“Actually,” Seungmin starts, only to cringe and stop.
“Hmm?” Changbin prompts.
Seungmin appears to debate something in his head before asking in a small voice, “I just wanted to know. Was…was last night even…good? Or fun? Or did I just totally embarrass myself?”
Changbin blinks at that. “Er, well, I thought it was fun.”
“Oh.” Seungmin nods at that. “Good.”
Changbin frowns. “Do you…not remember anything?”
Seungmin cringes again but then shakes his head, averting his gaze.
Changbin blinks, unsure of how to feel. “Oh.”
“I didn’t know it was you,” Seungmin whispers. “Not until just now. Otherwise…”
He trails off. Changbin doesn’t want to push, but things just got flipped upside down for him again, and he can’t let this go. Not again.
“Otherwise?” he prompts again.
Seungmin glances at him, his face turning red before he glances away. “Otherwise I would have stayed. I wouldn’t have run.”
Oh.
“Really?” Changbin asks, his voice small. Any louder and he might break what delicate thing they have.
Seungmin nods.
“So you do remember me?”
Seungmin’s brow furrows slightly, and it’s so freaking cute that Changbin’s heart clenches. “Of course I remember you. Seo Changbin. We dated in middle school before you moved.”
“Oh, okay, cool.” Changbin can’t help grinning. “Because when you left this morning I thought you either didn’t remember me or didn’t want to be around me.”
“Oh, no,” Seungmin says. “I just…I honestly didn’t even see your face. Just your back. Which is…really hot by the way. Like…I wasn’t even looking for your face because I was too busy staring at your back.”
The more he talks, the wider Changbin’s grin grows. Seungmin said almost the exact same thing last night when he was completely shitfaced and all over Changbin, marveling at Changbin’s back and shoulders and arms and chest. Changbin has been complimented on his body several times before, but hearing it from Seungmin feels better than anyone else.
“I should just stop talking,” Seungmin says, face burning. “And I should probably leave before this gets any more mortifying.”
“No, no, it’s cute,” Changbin says. “I like hearing you talk. Especially when it’s about me.”
“Oh,” Seungmin says.
“You…you can stay, y’know,” Changbin says. “Like, we could…hang out? Catch up?”
Seungmin opens his mouth to respond, but then Changbin adds, “But if you have somewhere to be, that’s okay. You don’t have to stay. We can just go our separate ways and pretend like this never happened.”
“Isn’t it weird to hang out and talk to someone about their job or something after they were literally naked and fucking the night before?” Seungmin blurts.
Changbin blinks; he never expected Seungmin to be so…vulgar?
“I mean, no?” Changbin says. “I’m literally half naked right now and we’re having a perfectly normal conversation. Plus, we didn’t actually fuck last night.”
Seungmin staggers like Changbin knocked the wind out of him. “We didn’t?”
“Nope,” Changbin says. “We just…made out, got handsy, took off a few layers, and then I…I jerked you off. Then you passed out.”
Seungmin’s jaw is practically on the floor. “But…why were there scratches on your back, then?”
“Oh, those are from you,” Changbin says. “You just couldn’t get enough of my back apparently. And you were kinda overwhelmed when I was kissing you and touching you.”
“So we didn’t have sex,” Seungmin whispers.
“Not technically, no. No, uh, no butt stuff.”
Seungmin’s face turns red again. “Oh. Phew. I’m just gonna…” He gestures to the bed and then sits down on the edge of it heavily. “Yeah.”
Changbin draws a little closer, slightly wary. “Are you okay? Do you need me to get you something? Some water and pain meds, perhaps?”
“Uh…” Seungmin looks like he’s processing some things as he presses a hand to his head. “Actually, that would be great.”
Changbin nods. “No problem. Be right back.”
He rushes into the kitchen and fills a glass of cold water. Then he goes back to the bedroom and into the bathroom, where he keeps his medicine in the cabinet. After grabbing a bottle of pain meds, he returns to Seungmin and holds out both the glass and the pill bottle.
“Thank you,” Seungmin says, accepting both gratefully.
“Of course,” Changbin says, slowly sitting down next to him on the edge of the bed, careful to keep space between the two of them.
Seungmin swallows the pills, then drains the entire glass. After that, he just holds it in his hands, his eyes distant.
Changbin isn’t really the type to fidget when he’s nervous, but something about being around Seungmin in this uncomfortable silence makes him…twitchy. He needs to be doing something but he doesn’t know what.
He wonders what’s going on inside Seungmin’s head. Is Seungmin regretting coming back? Regretting coming home with Changbin last night? Is he embarrassed? Maybe Changbin should have rephrased their little excursion last night, made it sound less vulgar—
“So you’re sure we didn’t do anything last night?” Seungmin says suddenly, snapping Changbin out of it. “Like, you mean it when you say we didn’t go that far?”
“I wouldn’t lie to you,” Changbin says, a little hurt that Seungmin would think otherwise, especially about something as serious as having fully consensual sex.
“I know, I just…don’t trust myself more than anything,” Seungmin says, staring down at the cup in his hands. “I haven’t been that drunk in a long time so I have no idea how I would have reacted. Apparently I get horny. I don’t like that at all. Especially since I feel like I probably threw myself at you.”
Changbin thinks back to last night, how Seungmin had accidentally bumped into him and then apologized profusely before nearly losing his balance and falling. Changbin had caught him, and Seungmin had gotten completely distracted by Changbin’s arms holding onto him. He tried to squeeze them but then immediately stopped himself before looking up at Changbin’s face. That’s when he stared at Changbin like he had never seen him before, and when he had blurted, “You’re gorgeous.”
Changbin smiles to himself at the memory.
“I wouldn’t call it horny,” he says. “And I wouldn’t call you necessarily handsy. But you really, really liked touching me.”
Seungmin groans and covers his face with his hand. “God, I’m so sorry. Did I even ask before essentially molesting you?”
Changbin grins. “You weren’t touching me in an inappropriate way. More like a…reverent way. It was cute.”
“Yeah. Sure.”
“You did ask permission, though. Constantly.”
“Asked until I wore you down, which isn’t much better.” Seungmin’s shoulders slump even further.
“No, no, not like that,” Changbin says. “More like asking every time we did something.”
Like when they got back to Changbin’s apartment last night, and Seungmin had asked if they could kiss again. And then he asked if he could touch Changbin and if Changbin could stop him if he went too far. But after Changbin gave his permission, Seungmin’s hands didn’t wander as far south as Changbin thought they would. Instead, Seungmin seemed perfectly content with just running his hands up and down Changbin’s back and arms and eventually his stomach. And only once Changbin said that Seungmin could touch under his shirt too did Seungmin shyly ask if Changbin would take his shirt off at all.
God, the way Seungmin stared at him when he finally took his shirt off. How he had started to reach for Changbin’s chest only to pull back. Changbin had grinned and told him he could touch him however he wanted.
And Seungmin had surprised him by asking, “Can I kiss it?”
“I don’t like thinking of myself as a sexual person at all,” Seungmin says now, snapping Changbin out of it. “There’s…there’s a disconnect between my sense of self and doing anything like that. The fact that I turned into that kind of person when intoxicated…” He shakes his head again, his face falling. “I don’t like it.”
“Like, you feel ashamed?” Changbin says.
“I guess,” Seungmin says. “It just…it doesn’t feel like me.”
“Do you always feel like that after being intimate with someone?”
Seungmin winces, looking away as his shoulders hunch. “Um. Well…”
Changbin blinks. “Wait. Have you never had sex before?”
Seungmin winces again. “I know, I’m late to the party or whatever and I’ve never really lived until I have sex and my entire mindset will change once I experience it and realize how great it is, blah blah blah. Or I’m not a real man or an adult until I have sex because being a virgin is stupid and lame and—”
“Whoa, whoa.” Changbin makes a slow down gesture. “I’m not saying any of that.”
“But you were thinking it.”
“I really wasn’t.” Changbin leans forward a bit to get a better look at Seungmin’s face. Seungmin refuses to look at him. “Seungmin, it doesn’t matter if you’ve had sex or not. All that matters is if you’re comfortable in your own skin and that you go at your own pace. There isn’t a time limit to something like this, and anyone who says otherwise is lying. Maybe one day you’ll feel comfortable enough to have sex, and maybe you won’t. That’s your decision to make, though. Not anyone else’s.”
Seungmin lets out a shaky breath. “I feel like a teenager getting the sex talk from their parents.”
Changbin snorts at that. “Seriously, it doesn’t matter to me if you’ve had sex or not. I was just curious since you had brought it up. And since you thought that we had already had sex last night.”
“Yeah, but at the same time, when I woke up this morning with no memory of last night whatsoever, I actually felt really fucking depressed about the fact that I had allegedly had sex for the first time and didn’t even remember it.”
His expression is so heartbreaking that Changbin honestly wants to just hug him right now.
“Sorry I’m such a mess,” Seungmin adds. “Bet you wish you hadn’t reconnected with me after all.”
“On the contrary.” Changbin smiles softly at him. “You feel more like the old Seungminnie I once knew. It makes me want to keep talking to you, because I know you’re just as I remember.”
Seungmin looks at him in surprise. “Really?”
“Really.” Changbin’s smile widens. “And before you say anything—no, this is not me flirting with you and trying to get into your pants. Just because I feel like you might be thinking that right now.”
Seungmin glances away sheepishly, unable to suppress his smile.
Changbin carefully reaches out and touches Seungmin’s hand. “I honestly don’t mind if we aren’t physical or sexual or anything. And I’d be fine with just being friends if you want, though I’ll admit that I want to be more than that like we once were. But above all, I just want you back in my life, because now that I’ve found you again, I really don’t want to let you go.”
Seungmin stares at him, his jaw dropped. He tries to talk, but no words come out. Changbin just smiles at him and gently squeezes his hand, seeming to remind Seungmin that it’s there.
Glancing down, Seungmin twists his hand around so their palms are pressed together. Then he interlaces their fingers and squeezes.
“I’d like to be more than friends too,” Seungmin whispers.
Changbin grins at that, his heart fluttering. “We can take it slow, though. Get to know each other again. Not jump right into things like we did last night.”
Seungmin blushes but nods. “I think that would be best.”
“For now, how does some lunch sound? I know a great burger place a few blocks away.”
“Is it some bougie burger place?”
“Why would it be a bougie burger place?”
“Have you seen your neighborhood? Or even your apartment? How expensive even is the rent here?”
Changbin opens his mouth to respond, but then Seungmin quickly adds, “Actually, just kidding, don’t answer that. We’ll just say you’re filthy rich and leave it at that.” He smirks though to show he means no offense.
“Hey, I’m an award-winning producer now,” Changbin says, smirking. “Pays the bills and then some.”
“I know, I’ve listened to your songs.” Seungmin gives a small, shy smile. “I’ve actually kept up with you from a distance, even though you seemed farther and farther out of reach.”
“Well, I’m here now, and I’m not going anywhere.”
Seungmin squeezes his hand again.
“So, burgers?” Changbin smiles hopefully.
Seungmin nods. “Before we go, you wouldn’t happen to have a spare toothbrush, would you?”
Changbin grins. “I’m sure I have a new one somewhere.”
Seungmin smiles back. “And you’re gonna put some clothes on, right?”
“Nah, figured I’d just go out like this.” Changbin flexes his bicep, an action that draws Seungmin’s eyes right to it.
“As much as I’d love that,” Seungmin says, “I think I also might be the possessive type.”
“Don’t want anyone else seeing all this, hmm?”
“I mean, it is your body so if you want to go out like that, then I can’t stop you, but you might get turned away for not having shoes or a shirt.”
“I’m kidding,” Changbin says with a smirk. “I’m more of a modest type anyways. Only show this off to certain individuals.” He winks.
Seungmin blushes. “Oh.”
“I kinda like possessive Seungmin anyways.”
“Really?”
“Really.” Changbin smirks. “It’s nice to be shown off but also claimed. I mean, how could you not with all this?”
“Exactly!” Seungmin says, only to blush again. “Only if you’re okay with it, though.”
“I am.” Changbin smiles, then lets out a breath and stands. “Okay, let me just get you that toothbrush and take a quick shower and then I’ll be ready to go!”
“Sounds good,” Seungmin says. “I should probably take a shower, too.”
Changbin can’t help blurting, “Wanna save water and shower together?”
Seungmin blinks at that, his eyes going wide. And Changbin is back to overthinking and regretting ever saying that, because isn’t that pushing it too far? They literally just agreed to take it slow and now—
“Sure,” Seungmin says.
Wait, what?
“Really?” Changbin says.
Seungmin nods. “If you think about it, we’ve seen a lot of each other already. And it’s nothing sexual.”
“Right.” Changbin suddenly smirks again. “And you can use the soap as an excuse to touch my muscles.”
Seungmin’s face turns bright red. “I—I didn’t even think of that.”
“So, shower?”
Seungmin nods and quickly stands up. Changbin can’t help laughing at Seungmin’s eagerness, his chest unbelievably full of fondness. Without even thinking, he reaches out and takes Seungmin’s hand again and squeezes it, just because he has to do something or else he’s gonna die from all his affection. And Seungmin smiles and squeezes his hand back before asking, “You wouldn’t happen to have any clothes I could borrow, do you?”
“I’ll see what I can find,” Changbin says.
“Thank you.”
“Anything for you.”
And even though Seungmin blushes and looks away, Changbin can tell that he secretly loves it.
Changbin grins to himself. He doesn’t want to get too ahead of himself, but he has a feeling he’s going to spend as much of his free time with this man for the foreseeable future.
Based on the way Seungmin smiles at him, he has a feeling that Seungmin is thinking the same thing.