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“Buck...Buck...hey, wake up!” Buck groaned as he was shaken from his slumber by a pair of small hands (well, smaller than his), and opened his eyes to see Christopher peering down at him. “Breakfast is ready, dad says it’s time to get up.”
“OK, OK, five more minutes.” He moaned, closing them again and trying to curl back up into a ball. His head was pounding, his mouth felt like he’d swallowed half a beach last night, and something seemed to be stuck in his throat. Getting up was not so on the agenda at that moment.
“Nope, now! I’m not leaving until you get up.” The twelve-year-old folded his arms and pouted. Looking up at him, he reminded him so much of Eddie that it was uncanny. That was the exact same pose, the exact same pissed off expression his father had given him many times at work. “And we’re going out, so you need to hurry up.” He ordered. Buck groaned again. He wasn’t going to win this one, not by a long shot. Buck vs Christopher always, always ended up one way, and it wasn’t with Buck winning.
“Buck, come on, it’s almost 10am.” Eddie’s voice called from the doorway. “We have plans today, and we’re not cancelling because you and Josh decided to drink half the bar last night.” Fuck, now he was in trouble. Well, not trouble, per se, but it seemed that Christopher wasn’t the only one annoyed at him in that house.
“What plans?” His plan, as of yesterday afternoon, was to curl up in his own bed, hungover, watching movies and downing painkillers and Gatorade like his life depended on it. Not being dragged out of Eddie’s bed by the two of them to apparently go outside. Where it would be far too bright for his aching head. Eddie shook his head and let out a huff, so Buck shuffled himself up the bed, resting his back on the headboard, and realized two things. One, he wasn’t in his own bed. OK, so he’d realized that before, but had no idea why he was there, or how he’d gotten there. And two, he was naked, at least from what he could tell. Shoving his hand under the comforter, he gave a small sigh of relief when he found he still had his boxers on.
“Eds, what plans...fuck, my head.”
“Swear jar!” Christopher yelled gleefully, making Buck wince. “One dollar please!”
“Remind me later. Because right now I need painkillers. And sleep. Or caffeine….” He groaned, swallowing down the nausea building up in his throat. “Why am I here? What happened? I kinda remember cocktails and laughing and Steve telling us to be quiet…and then I was outside…” His eyes widened as a flashback of the previous night came to him. They were both outside, they were talking, but he couldn’t remember what it was about, and suddenly, he was pushing Eddie against the wall, kissing him, running his hands up his shirt, feeling extremely drunk and extremely horny. “Fuck!”
“Swear jar! I’m gonna be so rich! Buck, you might as well buy me that graphic novel, because you’re gonna owe me that much anyway!” He laughed. Buck waved his hand and promised him that if he left the room, he would buy him whatever book he wanted. He thought about it for a moment, then looked at his father, as if to ask permission, because Buck and his dad sometimes disagreed over things like Buck buying him things without asking first.
“Christopher, can you go and watch TV just now, please? I think Buck and I need to talk.” Eddie asked pointedly. Christopher gave a sigh, because, if he wasn’t getting the book, he could still stay there and tot up the dollars that Buck was going to owe him. It was probably going to be a lot.
“Fine.” And with that, he stomped out of the room and down the hall. As soon as the footsteps stopped, Eddie stepped into the room and closed the door behind him. Obviously, Buck had remembered something of the previous night, well, technically, that morning, but not all of it.
“Eds, I’m so sorry, I don’t…I should go. Because you probably hate me now. You came all that way, late at night to pick me up and I just drunkenly threw myself at you.” He groaned, climbing out of bed and looking around. “Where are my clothes?”
“In the machine. You puked on them. And I had to take them off you because you refused to do it. And you puked on the outside of the car when you put your head out of the window. I took a twenty from your wallet for the car wash, by the way.” He tried to look annoyed, but a small smile played on his face. “Just grab something of mine. And you’re not going anywhere because I promised Chris we’d take him to the beach, so come on, move. Breakfast, coffee, shower. I want to leave by eleven!”
“But I…” Buck started, not even sure of what he was going to say next. Sorry I made you come and get me? Because even though he couldn’t remember, it was obvious he had. Sorry I kissed you? Sorry I threw up? Sorry that you had to strip me? Sorry I ended up almost naked in your bed? All of the above? He settled “I’m sorry for everything.” That should cover it.
“What do you remember?” Eddie asked, sitting down on the bed and motioning for Buck to do the same. Tentatively, the younger man did, but kept a relatively safe distance away. Which was probably stupid, because they sat close together every day. Knees knocking in the rig, squashed up together on the couch watching TV, standing behind each other playing pool...most of the time there were barely a couple of inches between them.
Buck shrugged. “Not much, other than what I told you. I don’t remember calling you, I don’t remember you coming, or what happened before I...what happened outside.” Because saying it out loud would somehow make it more real. “And nothing after that either.”
Eddie sighed and shuffled over so that their thighs were touching, then placed his hand over Buck’s. He’d hoped that he would have remembered a little more than that, because filling in the blanks was not going to be easy. “OK, where do I start? You didn’t call me, Steve did. You were drunk and very loud in defending your music choices.” Buck didn’t even want to ask what those choices were, or how he was defending them, but Eddie went on “Apparently you offered to show everyone a PowerPoint presentation?”
“Fuck.” Buck muttered. “Sorry.” Eddie held up his free hand to silence him and went on.
“He called to ask me to come and get you, because his boss had told him if you were thrown out by the bouncers one more time, you’d be banned. So you owe that guy. When I got there, you argued with me, told me you weren’t actually drunk, then fell into me to prove it.” He let out a small snort as he remembered Buck’s indignant face when Eddie had criticized his music tastes, then had muttered something under his breath about “dad music” and “Bon Jovi”. “And then...” He paused, glancing into the blue eyes in front of him. Lifting his hand, he placed it on the other man’s cheek, the rough stubble feeling scratchy, but comforting as he caressed it.
“Then I...” Buck tried to finish the sentence, but the words hung in the tense air around them. “I kissed you. And I shouldn’t have because you have never offered me anything more than friendship, and it’s a line I should never have crossed.” Pushing Eddie’s hand away from his cheek, he started to stand up again, but Eddie was faster, having the advantage of not being extremely hungover, and held his arm out, pushing him back down gently.
“Buck, I...” He slowly let out a breath and placed two fingers under the other man’s chin, pushing it up slightly so that they were now eye-to-eye again. “You did kiss me, but it was my fault. No, not my fault, because that sounds like it was a bad thing, but I was the one that...Oh God, I am such a coward. I told you last night because you were drunk, and now you’re sober I don’t know if I can. I’m...” He gulped down the lump that had taken up residence in his throat, and took another deep breath. “OK, I can do this. Buck, you kissed me because I told you I wasn’t happy with the way things were between us. I want more than that. I love you, and I want to be with you. For the past five years I’ve wanted more. And when you kissed me, I let you, because I’ve been craving it for those five years. And no-filter, drunken Buck promised me forever, but I’m scared that sober Buck will run away from me.” He finished quietly. The silence between them seemed to last an extremely long time. “Buck, say something, please.” He whispered, almost desperately.
“Forever, huh?” He eventually replied, a smile creeping over his face. “Is that what I said?”
“Forever.” Eddie echoed. “Might have been forever and ever. I’m not sure.”
“That sounds a very drunken-Buck thing to say, so I’ll believe you. And I mean it. You and me. Forever’s not enough, though.” He grinned, letting himself fall to the side so that Eddie was propping him up. ‘I’d give you another kiss, but you’ll need to wait until I’ve showered and brushed my teeth.”
“I think I can wait that long. We do have forever, after all.”
