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“What the fuck is that?”
Rebecca looks at her own daughter with forehead lines popping up, a sign she was either in distress or slightly annoyed. Probably both, when it was a reaction towards Ellie Welton-Lasso.
“What’s wrong?” The younger blonde is oblivious, too busy caressing her mini skirt against her tights to notice her mother’s features. The skirt doesn’t leave much to the imagination, as she dressed all in black with a cropped top and cat ears that weren’t enough to allow her to be passable as cute. Her black bra straps were visible against her shoulders and the high heel boots were tall enough to make the skirt seem even shorter, if that was possible. Everything was tied up with a furry tail hanging from the back of her bum, attached to the fabric around her hips. The whole outfit screamed a cheap costume out of a sex shop.
Rebecca wanted to throw up instantly.
“What the fuck are you wearing?”
Ellie looks at her finally, giving up on her mini skirt completely, the wrinkled fabric free from her not so careful fingers. “I’m a cat,” she says as if it was pretty obvious.
“A cat?” Rebecca lingers the emphasis over the world. “Honey, that’s an insult to all felines in the neighborhood.”
Ellie scoffs. “Mama, it’s a Halloween party. With young people. I’m sure your Halloween parties with Daniel Craig are much different, but I happen to look cute.”
“You always look super duper cute, darlin’”, her father’s thick accent fills the room as he enters the kitchen with eyes on his phone, not yet looking up to meet the two women who lived with him.
“Thanks, daddy.”
“Don’t– don’t say that word when you’re wearing this. God, Eleanor, go change–”
“But that’s the only costume I have ready!”
“Hey hey hey, what’s cooking here today?” Ted presses send to whatever text he just finished typing and brings his eyes to his wife and daughter the first time since his arrival. “Oooh, you look adorable!”
Rebecca turns her head to her husband in a sharp movement. “Ted!”
“Ha!” Ellie says at the same time, a triumphant smile on her red lips. “Awww, thanks daddy.”
Rebecca points a finger at her, knowing exactly what her daughter was doing: trying to get on her nerves.
“Eleanor, I’m fucking serious,” Rebecca starts again, under the gaze of a very clueless Ted Lasso. “Go change into something else. If you leave the house wearing that, you’re about to be mistaken by a hooker.”
“Mum!” The daughter protests, pouting in annoyance.
Oh, to be the parents of a teenage spoiled girl. Never a boring moment.
All it takes for Ellie to march towards the stairs groaning and complaining about how the world was so unfair is her mother’s cold serious gaze, a stare that could freeze tropical countries in a second. “Now.”
When she’s gone, the gaze burns Ted’s skin instead.
“I assume I said something wrong, but I’m not sure, so I’m gonna stay quiet.”
“You think?!” Rebecca snaps at him.
“If I ‘member correctly, I’ve seen pictures of you dressed in a lot less than that,” he says carefully, not trying to upset her or to overstep her control as a mother. The statement, however, is made with a light, suggestive change of tune.
“Course you have. I had my fun back in the day. That’s exactly why I don’t want her to go around like that. Next thing you know she’s working as a bartender in a local smelly bar and flirting with fucking Rupert down the back.”
Ted’s chin drops. She can see he’s fighting off a smile. “Honey, she’s your clone alright, but she’s her own person. Don’t worry, she’ll be acing a whole new pack of mistakes, not recycling your old ones.”
His arms go over her waist, hugging her from behind. Even years later, the heat coming off his body was capable of making her shiver in anticipation for his loving touch. She puts her head against his shoulder, looking at his face upside down.
“And you’re okay with that?”
Ted shrugs. “Last night I found a box of condoms in Henry’s room. What can I say? At least they’re being responsible.”
Rebecca laughs out loud - the image of a hidden box of condoms somehow didn’t match with the man who once was a little boy running around playing video games in her house. It made her nervous somehow, the thought that the years went by and the kids grew up but Ted and Rebecca remained the same, frozen in time.
“And did you ask him about it?” She asks, turning to face her husband properly. Ted’s face writhes in cringeness, giving away that he doesn't want to address the subject with his older son. “If you want me to do it–”
“God, no. It was hard enough when you were around for the talk about the birds and the bees when he was fourteen. He kept looking at us weird over breakfast. And lunch. And dinner.”
Rebecca smiles at his weirdness. “Love, that was twelve years ago. He’s not gonna look at us weird if we mention sex around him.”
“No, but I will look at him weird. I think. I don’t know, alright?! Sometimes I don't know how to parent right.”
Rebecca brushes her hands against his scalp, urging him to relax. She understood that feeling. “That’s okay, we can pretend that box was for a school project–”
“He’s a football player long out of school, but continue.”
“-- and not at all related to tonight’s party. Didn’t see Henry leaving earlier today. What was he wearing for Halloween?”
“I’m not sure, he went out in such a hurry to help with the decorations over Nora’s house that I just saw a blurry and very green figure running past me saying goodbye. He could either be Elphaba or Shrek. Or Mike Wazowski, but that would require only one eye and I think he had both on.”
She laughs loud and deep this time. “And you’re worried he’s going to shag someone tonight?!”
“Ew, whenever I catch you guys out of context I’m bruised for life. It’s Luigi. Henry’s costume.” Ellie’s voice comes from the stairs, the silent noise her steps make already so damn different from the previous heels knocking the floor.
“And he didn’t ask me to be his Mario?!” Ted asks in fake upsetment, waiting for his daughter to come down properly so he can see her new choice of outfit.
When her full body appears in front of them at the end of the stairs, the short white dress with blue stripes hug her slim body in a similar way the previous one did, but this time the cat ears were gone, replaced by a white sari with matching three blue stripes. The high heels complemented the intention behind the costume.
Rebecca looks at her one more time from head to toe.
“You have got to be kidding me.”
“Mum, you can’t have a problem with this one too, I’m literally Mother Theresa.”
“Now that’s a felony-”
“Ladies,” Ted interrupts, walking towards his daughter. “Honey, while I appreciate the intention behind such a beautiful tribute to the Missionaries of Charity, I do think this costume would offend the whole community of religious old ladies from Kansas City who follow you on Instagram. So please, for the sake of your old father and his well being whenever he’s there once again, could you maybe change into something else?”
Ellie’s head falls back in frustration, a loud complaint falling from her lips. “You’re gonna get me late! Henry’s already there!”
“Kermit will be fine, you’ll be there in no time. Go go go, hush your butt, c’mon, that’s alright,” he coaches the younger one into marching once again towards her room upstairs, the veil covering her back and floating from one side to the other in a comical manner.
“Sexy Mother Teresa, Ted.” Rebecca whispers in an undertone, her arms crossed over her chest.
“I honestly thought the dichotomy was pretty clever, but yeah, not a great moment for her,” he agrees, his mustache moving on the edges as he offers her an amused smile.
“Do you think we failed her and she’s now just a spoiled dumb girl?” Rebecca interrupts herself the second the words leave her mouth. “Oh God, am I a terrible mother for even suggesting that?”
“Oh no. No no no. It’s a relevant thought to have, honey. Can you imagine dealing with dumb kids? One of my biggest fears. That or to get one who’s not a Chiefs fan.”
“Henry’s not a Chiefs fan.”
“He watches it for the good-looking men, so I’ll take what I get.”
Rebecca rolls her eyes. “I’m serious. Ellie’s a good girl alright, but sometimes I fear she gets stuck in the way she looks. She’s beautiful. The most gorgeous girl in the world. But there’s more to life than the brand of lipstick she wears. Sometimes I feel like I got it all wrong and spoiled her in the worst way possible and made her turn towards shallow needs and-”
“She’s also one of the kindest young women I’ve ever seen in my life, with a heart full of compassion and the drive to help other people and achieve her dreams in the process. Dreams which are not always for herself, but for others. And now that I put this out there, I feel like the Mother Teresa costume was actually very on point,” he chuckles as his wife scoffs, trying to hide the smile that comes to her pretend-annoyed lips. “It’s just a phase. Just like any other. God I miss those times when she would just show up and jump into my arms holding her teddy bears and tiny blankets, but they grow up, eventually. She’s trying her best.”
“I know. I know she is. She’s incredible. I’m such a bitch. I shouldn't place all my expectations all at once into such a young girl.”
“Oh, honey, but what kind of mother would that be?” He says that while cupping her face and bringing the top of her head towards his lips. “Besides, you just made her come back to change for the second time before a party she’s already late to. I think she cares a little bit about what you think.”
Rebecca blinks at him. “You think so?”
“Oh yeah. You made it to the popular kids’ table, boss.”
“Okay, I really gotta go or else Nora will kill me. Stupid Henry couldn’t wait for me to finish getting ready, so I’m gonna call for a car if that’s okay”, Ellie comes downstairs without much ceremony this time. She’s the one to appear busy with her own phone this time, the same way her father entered the room minutes prior, her expression so very similar to his as she texts their driver. “What about this? Please don’t make me change again.”
The red lipstick is all gone, replaced by a much lighter shade of pink matching the blush on her cheeks. Her blonde locks are down and there’s a crown at the top of her head matching her golden shoes. The dress is long this time, all bright pink with details in white, including a long pair of gloves hiding her arms. A pair of earrings and a heavy blue necklace suits it all together, making it impossible not to recognize the character she was inspired by.
“Princess Peach!”
“Yeah yeah, I know, boring. God, there’s too many layers– but it really doesn’t matter anymore, ‘cause I have to go.”
“Awwwn honey, you’re matching with Henry!” Ted offers her a sweet smile, one she knew really well. Whenever he’d get emotional over her and Henry and their bond, he’d have that silly heart eyes look on his face.
“Whatever,” she tries to brush it off and play it cool.
“You look so adorable, sweetie,” Rebecca tells her, a hand over her own chest taking in the beauty that is her daughter, her own personal miracle.
“Great. That’s all a girl wants to hear before a party with uni people in it. How adorable she looks.”
“I thought your dad looked quite adorable at first and I married him.”
“Dad doesn’t count. It’s the cheeks and the 'I just fell off the moving truck' eyes.”
“You have his cheeks and eyes.”
“Mum,” Ellie interrupts. “As much as I love this conversation and love you guys– Ollie is here. I gotta go. Don’t wait up, alright?” She says that as she walks towards both of them, pulling her father first by the cheek and placing a soft kiss against his face, turning to her mother right after and hugging her fast but intentionally, two kisses against her head. “You two behave and don’t have too much fun without me. Don’t forget I still live in this house and I’ll be right back any minute.”
“Make good choices!” Ted shouts quickly as she runs towards the door.
“Have fun, princess!” Rebecca says right back, not sure if Ellie could still hear her, but deciding to try anyway.
When the door is closed behind her and the car outside starts and leaves, Ted chuckles to himself.
“She really went from a rated R version of the musical Cats to a video game princess, huh?”
Rebecca shakes her head. “What a special little preppy geek. She’s so our daughter.”
Ted throws at her that look - the Rebecca look. One he’d only share with her and the kids whenever they’d do something particularly special for him to remember how wonderful life was at that moment, how special the possibilities unfolded in front of them were.
Which was pretty much every day in his household.
“Best of both worlds.”