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“So, long story short, Anne and Mary burnt their house down in a very passionate display of affection, I think that’s what that was, and Edward has no place to stay anymore, so, I’m putting it to the crew, would it be alright if we lifted his banishment and Edward stays on board with us?” Stede asked, looking out at the sea of faces that made up the crew of The Revenge.
The crew looked back at him, each face a different shade of on the verge of saying no. Stede started to sweat, he just knew they were all about to veto his request, so he tried to turn it around. “I mean, c’mon guys, I really think he’s learned his lesson at being banished in the first place! Right Ed?” Stede said, trying to communicate silently to Ed to do whatever he could to convince them.
“O-oh, right, yes. I definitely have, I have learned loads,” Ed said, blessedly picking up what Stede had tried to tell him with his eyes, giving the crew the biggest puppy dog eyes he could muster.
“There, you see! C’mon, I know we’re pirates but if there’s one thing I know about the crew of The Revenge is that they run this ship with kindness!” Stede said, giving them one of his Bonnet winning smiles. And thank Neptune, eventually the scowls turned to rolled eyes and they all gave in and relented to let him stay. “Thanks guys! Don’t worry! I’ll make sure he behaves!” Stede said as they all turned to leave the deck.
“I’m warning you, Stede, if he’s to stay there’s gonna be rules! And you better keep him the fuck away from me!” Lucius sneered, taking an angered drag of his cigarette and stalking off, Black Pete following hot on his heels.
“Thanks Lucius! Will do!” Stede said brightly, and then turned to Ed, who was looking at him with a mix of admiration with something deeper simmering underneath, “Well, there you have it! So….”
“So….” Ed repeated at the same time.
“um, I guess, I’ll see you in the morning?” Stede asked cautiously.
“Oh, uh, yeah, I guess, I’ll just–see you tomorrow,” Ed stuttered, blindly waving his hand in the direction of the crow’s nest of the ship, and started walking that way.
Stede sighed as he watched Ed’s retreating form and headed for the Captain’s quarters.
A few hours had passed and Stede laid awake in bed, unable to get his mind to shut down enough for him to sleep. It was late enough in the night/early morning that he was sure everyone was asleep so he quietly crept out of bed, out of his quarters and up the stairs to the back of the ship. Sitting down and dangling his legs through the railing, Stede felt the light breeze coming off the ocean ruffle his hair as he looked out as the ocean waves lapped softly against the side of the boat where they had anchored for the night. He was torn. He was so incredibly happy that Ed was alive and that now after that horrible dinner party, that he was talking to him again, still, Stede wasn’t stupid, he knew the connection between them was still broken, big chunks of their former bond lie shattered at his feet and Stede was terrified that in any moment, all of it would just crumble in his hands and he was trying desperately to hold it together for dear life as delicately as he could. He also knew that he had only been able to tell Ed a half truth so far about why he didn’t come to the dock that night. He knew he needed to tell Ed about Chauncey and the things he said that night that had scared Stede to his very bones.
The thud of a body sitting next to him broke him from his thoughts.
“Fancy meeting you here, I thought you’d be asleep by now,” Ed said, copying Stede and putting his legs through the ship’s railing.
“I could say the same thing about you,” Stede said softly, “I know the last couple of days have been…a lot, being in the gravy boat and all that.”
“Couldn’t sleep, Still trying to get my bearings after being in the Gravy Basket,” Ed said, “I’m pretty sure I’m okay now. At least I’m not seeing the pig any more…..And what about you, can’t sleep?”
“No,” Stede said, “and it’s because I only gave you part of the story, back at Anne and Mary’s, about why I didn’t meet you at the dock. There’s more to it than that.”
“Oh, okay,” Ed cleared his throat and sat up a little straighter, steeling himself for Stede to continue, “Go on.”
Stede took a deep breath, “I was in bed at the barracks, where you left me to go get the dingy, and even though I was scared, like I said, I was going to meet you. Whether that would have been a good idea, given how torn and panicked I felt, and if we would have survived being together, who can say, but I would have met you at the dock,” Stede said, looking out into the ocean.
“So, what happened?” Ed asked, his voice small, as he waited for Stede to continue.
“Chauncey Badminton happened,” Stede whispered.
“Chauncey? The admiral guy? Your childhood bully guy?” Ed asked, confusion coloring his features, “I thought the rest of the navy guys carted him off to jail or killed him or something.”
“I thought so too, but wherever he was, Chauncey found me. He came over to my bunk, stuck a gun in my face and forced me out of bed and to follow him into the jungle,” Stede said, tears pricking at his eyes as the memories came flooding back from that night, as Ed’s eyes went dark, “He had been clearly drinking heavily, and was very upset about Nigel, because he brought me to a clearing, put his pistol in my face and said that I wasn’t human. That Stede Bonnet was a monster who defiled beautiful things. I was the reason his brother was dead. I was the reason my family was miserable and despised me, and…that I had taken history’s greatest and most dreaded pirate and turned him soft. That I had ruined you,” the tears were flowing freely down Stede’s cheeks as he said the last part in a whisper, but he kept going, “He said that I was a plague that had taken all these wonderful things and destroyed them, just because I could. And while everything and everyone lay broken around me, I was God's perfect little rich boy who walked away from my destruction unscathed…..and I agreed.”
Ed’s eyes snapped up at that, “Stede–”
“How could I not? It’s the same thing my father had told me for years that I had tried to ignore but I couldn’t anymore. Chauncey had laid out all of my wrong doings and decided that I needed to die for my crimes, and I agreed,” Stede sobbed, “Because if I had just been a better husband to Mary, I wouldn’t have run off and left her and my children and up-ended their entire lives, I would have never become a pirate and run into Nigel, who was now dead because of me, and I never would have met you and brought you down and made you anything less than the fearsome pirate you were supposed to be. And that one hurt me worst of all. That’s why I flipped out at seeing you beardless. So, I accepted my fate and waited for my death at Chauncey’s hand, but when he stalked toward me, he started to trip and his gun went off and he shot himself in the head and I just ran. I ran and ran and ran and when the shock finally started to wear off, I realized how close to Bridgetown I was and so I made a decision. I had to pay for my crimes, so I would go back to my life before I left, I would go back to Mary and I would play the dutiful husband and father and I would let you get on without me and I would just live with being miserable forever because that was my punishment, to be denied what I really wanted, which was to go back to The Revenge and to you. So that’s everything. I never showed up because I was scared that everything between us was happening so fast and I was convinced it was because I had ruined you and you were better off without me.” Stede breathed out.
Silence hung in the air for what felt like eternity. Stede’s heart jackhammering in his chest, terrified that he had fucked up and maybe pissed Ed off even more. He was about to hightail it back to his quarters when Ed finally spoke.
“But you came back,” Ed stated.
“I came back. Mary and I finally sat down, after she tried to kill me herself mind you, and we talked it through and even though I was punishing myself by going back to my old life, she had told me that leaving, while it hurt her and kids in the moment, was actually the best thing I could have done. I was never made for that life, in Bridgetown. Mary and I never loved each other as a husband and wife should, and rather quickly after I left, she found Doug; someone she did love and who loved her back, someone who made her breakfast in bed just to see her smile and they’re happy, and I’m happy for her. She helped me see that I was an idiot for panicking about you and me because….there has only ever been one place for my heart to find its home and it's with you, Edward Teach.”
Chocolate brown and warm hazel eyes stared at each other, Stede searching Ed’s eyes for something, anything, to tell him if telling Ed all this was for naught.
“Stede, you didn’t ruin me. I had told you when we met that I was tired of my reputation. that I was looking for a way out. I was just happy for once in my life because I thought I had found someone to ride out the rest of my life with,” Ed said.
“I know that and I'm so sorry for ignoring that. Chauncey took my guilt and weaponized it against me, he got in my head and made me forget that and I’m sorry for letting him cloud that from me,” Stede lowered his head in shame.
“That Chauncey motherfucker better be rotting in hell for all of this,” Ed said, “I’m glad he’s fucking dead…..Thank you. Thank you for telling me. I think I understand but I need time to think, get my head around it all.”
“Okay. take all the time you need. I’ll be here waiting for you, forever if I have to. And one more thing. I’m sorry. Ed, I am so truly sorry for my part in throwing you into whatever darkness consumed you and for making you feel like I didn’t love you, because I do. I love you.” Stede said.
Ed gave him a small smile and Stede returned it. Stede knew their bond wasn’t magically fixed yet, that it would take time and work, but at least now, their bond was wrapped in a soft blanket, waiting until they were ready to fix it together.
“If nothing else, at least I’ll never have to go back to Bridgetown, since they all think I’m dead anyway,” Stede said, light finding its way back to his eyes.
“Why do they think that?” Ed asked confused.
“Oh! Let me tell you all about the fuckery Mary, Doug, and the kids helped me pull off to fake my death!” Stede clapped his hands together.
Ed grinned, “Do tell.”