Archive of Our Own ^beta

Techno’s life didn’t change after that night in Phil’s house. He still woke up in the morning sick and anxious, dreading the knowledge that he would be going back to his dad’s house in a couple hours. Phil gave him breakfast and convinced Techno to let him drive him home.

Phil didn’t get out of the car when they arrived at his dad’s house. Techno mentally thanked the man for that. He was sure Phil had a lot of thoughts on where Techno’s dad lived and more but he was grateful Phil kept them to himself. At least for now.

Techno went in the house without a hitch and watched Phil drive away. He reminded himself to make a card or something and thank Phil profusely the next time he saw the man.

Then Techno had to face the music. His father was angry that morning. Already drunk despite the time and he had decided that, yes, he was angry at Techno for not coming the night before. Even if it was just to be his punching bag.

He went to school and practice that next Monday with bruises littering his arms and rib cage. He had decided right when it happened that, while Phil could never know about what happened at home, he definitely could never let Phil find out about this.

The man would feel guilty and that was the last thing Techno wanted.

Techno tried to ignore the few hazy memories that he had from his night at Phil’s house. They made his chest tighten and he eventually decided they weren’t worth it. Despite the deep comfort they also provided.

He couldn’t think about the way his life was supposed to look different. He wasn’t supposed to be 16 and wishing his life away. He wasn’t supposed to be bruised every weekend. And every time he thought about Phil and his gentle hands and soft words it only made it that much harder for him to deal with his reality.

During his private lessons that summer Techno still dealt with a lot of guilt about losing the championship. The guilt of playing while sick and forcing Phil to take care of him. Phil caught on with his guilt pretty quickly though and over time, Phill helped him not just stop harping on it but moving on.

After that, Techno noticed, as he spent more and more time with Phil, the way his mind fought with its self.

He knew what it was like at Phil’s house. He knew the comfort, he knew the care. He knew what it was like to be a kid.

Meanwhile, his dad had only gotten worse. Angrier. His bruises didn’t have a chance to heal before new ones were inflicted.

Techno… started to pull away from Phil. Just in small ways. Avoiding physical touch for fear of flinching, leaning away when Phil reached out to ruffle his hair. The small, proud smiles Phil sent his way started to make him nauseous.

He was paying for hockey all by himself now that he was 16 and his mom had stopped giving him any part of his dad’s child support. He tutored at school during his free period and worked at the rink before and after practice to make money but he was still barely scraping by with his monthly payments.

Phil would always send him worried looks whenever he got to the rink right at 3:30 and didn’t leave til 10:30. Techno forced himself to ignore them. He had to work if he wanted to play hockey. No matter the personal cost.

Right now, the personal cost Techno was trying to smother were his grades. They were dropping and fast.

He worked every day and he was hurt on the weekends which had no time to himself and any extra time he did have he needed to use for school work.

Techno usually found himself just lying on the mattress at his dad’s house, staring at the ceiling, breathing in and out painfully.

It was the weekend again. Techno’s homework forgotten as his brain switched to survival mode.

He opened the door to his dad’s house as quietly as possible. Trying to avoid the man as always. It never worked.

When he opened the door though he saw his father already sitting on the foyer stairs. Techno flinched as he closed the door.

“Sir.” Techno addressed tersely.

“I got a call.” His father rasped. Techno could smell the whiskey on his father’s breath from where he was standing. His dad was really drunk.

Techno didn’t know if he was supposed to respond so he didn’t. Usually the punishment for talking out of turn was worse than for not answering when spoken to so Techno took his chances.

“I got a call…” his father continued, “from the hockey rink.” He spat.

Techno cursed under his breath but then thanked prime his father didn’t hear him.

“They were asking for money! Because apparently you have an overdue balance! That you didn’t pay!” Techno flinched at the volume and took a step back as his father stood.

“You are a worthless… piece of garbage who doesn’t know how to pay the bills…” His father took a step toward him.

Techno knew that he was cutting it close with money but he thought he gave the rink his number or maybe his mother’s but never his dad’s. How did they get that number?

His father was too close to him now and Techno’s back hit the door.

“Dad, I-“

His father grabbed his shoulder tight enough to bruise and wasted no time before landing a punch to his stomach. Techno doubled over and coughed. His ribs were on fire and his breaths were becoming more and more shallow. As he straightened again his father grabbed his chin, holding him upright.

“Don’t speak, boy.” His father slapped him.

Techno unwillingly let out a pitiful whine. There was a cut on his cheek. From his father’s ring. Techno could feel the blood trickle down his face. He was already thinking of all the excuses he would have to make at practice for the next week.

“Worthless.” His father scoffed before he let go of Techno and swiftly kneed him in the stomach.

The breath left Techno’s lungs completely and he couldn’t catch himself as he was pushed to the ground. He hit the hardwood painfully. His mind slowly fizzled away from the rest of his body. His limbs felt like endless static, only pulsing uncomfortably from time to time. His vision was too blurry to see and he let himself disconnect from his harsh reality.

After an eternity, when Techno’s vision became more clear, he didn’t know if it had been minutes or hours. How long his father had been gone for. All he knew was that it was dark and he was alone. Those were the only two things he always knew for sure.

Techno picked himself up painfully and went to his room. He laid on the mattress and got the closest thing to sleep that he knew.

And if flashes of that night in Phil’s house came to mind… no they didn’t.

When Techno got home that Monday the first thing he noticed besides the throbbing in his ribs was the smell. His mother was smoking again and Techno tried to remember the last time his mother was sober.

Probably the last time she went to work which had to have been two weeks ago so…

She spent most of her time hosting parties. Techno would just sit in his room and lock the door whenever he couldn’t escape to the rink. Or just because he was too tired and his ribs hurt too bad.

His mom would bang on his door. Yell at him to open it, to come join her. Techno knew there was only pain or drugs beyond that door for him.

It was sad when Techno thought about it. The person his mother had become. Sure she was never perfect but… she was a good mother. Techno no longer saw the woman she used to be when he was 11.

That was when Techno reminded himself to grow the heck up. He was 16, basically an adult. He paid for himself, he transported himself, he took care of himself.

Even if it killed him inside.

Techno was rushing to do more and more homework before and after practice.

Everyone said 11th grade was the hardest year of high school and they were all right. He wasn’t even in any AP classes, just honors, and he was still falling behind.

Essays that he needed to cobble together, history presentations that needed his attention, and the endless amount of math homework he seemed to accumulate.

When Techno walked in to the rink that Thursday he immediately headed for the bleachers, waving at Sam as he went. He didn’t need to ask Sam permission to work in the bleachers anymore, they worked out an agreement long ago when Techno started coming multiple times a week.

He set himself up in the bleachers and looked around the quiet rink for a moment. It was nostalgic. Techno didn’t know if he appreciated it or if the memories just made it hurt more.

Soon enough Phil walked in and saw him. Like always.

“Hey, Techno.” He called. Techno gave him a small wave before focusing again on his essay. It was bare bones at the moment and filling it out was what Techno had to accomplish before practice.

“You seem to have a lot to get done before and after practice or work.” Phil continued and Techno’s gaze snapped to his. “Can I help at all? I could schedule you less at the rink, give you more time for school, you deserve it.”

Techno knew Phil meant well but the words set off too many alarm bells in his head.

“No, no!” Techno called down, trying to sound passive but failing. “I’m good. I’ll get it all done. I’m- I’m fine.” Techno tried to smile but he was sure it looked more like a grimace.

Phil reluctantly lets it go and he sits down with his clipboard and starts writing like he always does.

Techno was always grateful that Phil never pried and despite Techno being an awful liar when it came to Phil, the man never called him out.

Techno was slowly becoming guiltier and guiltier though as he lied to Phil more and more.

His grades were not just dropping a couple points or even a couple letter grades. Almost all of his grades had dropped to D’s and even a couple F’s.

Techno was honestly was at a loss for what to do. He couldn’t quit hockey, his dad wasn’t stopping anytime soon, and he needed to work.

Techno was trapped and his pride wouldn’t let him go.

Phil was worried about Techno. It was almost a constant in his life at that point, the endless worry.

The boy was working too much and he was almost always cramming some kind of school work whenever he took breaks.

Phil had thought about calling the school a couple times but always decided against it. As much as Phil wanted to take care of Techno he couldn’t insert himself in the boy’s life uninvited like that. Phil knew Techno well and he was sure Techno wouldn’t appreciate it.

As it turned out though Phil didn’t have to call the school.

When he got home after practice that Tuesday night he got a call from a number he didn’t recognize. Out of curiosity, he picked up.

“Hello?” He answered.

“Uh, Mr. Watson?” A female voice asked.

“Yes, who is this?” Phil asked carefully.

“Hi, yes, this is Janice Thompson from East Carlson Middle & High School. I’m calling about Technoblade Smith.”

Phil stopped in his tracks but kept his voice level. Why was Techno’s school calling him?

“Techno… uh, yeah. What’s up?”

“Well, his grades have been falling which is… very unusual for him. Technoblade is usually one of our best students. He even tutors during his free period.” She explained.

“Of course.” Phil masked his surprise, trying to gauge the situation. “What kind of grades are we talking here?”

“I’m sorry to say that in most classes he has dropped to a C or D and in two classes he is failing by a couple points.” She continued, “There is still plenty of time to get those grades up but the quarter is ending soon and I would hate for these grades to hurt his chances at college. It is Junior year after all.”

“Of course. I’ll talk to him about it. I just have one question… how did you get my number?” Phil asked tentatively.

“Oh, you were listed third on his emergency contact list and neither of his parents picked up. I must have called five times each!” The woman laughed, “Must be busy bees.” She concluded kindly.

Phil scoffed in his head. Or passed out drunk. He assumed bitterly.

“Alright, all good. Thanks for the call. Take care.”

“You too.”

The woman hung up and Phil just sat there, staring at the wall for a long moment.

He had a decision to make for how to proceed with this information, all of it.

And Phil had to gauge how far he was willing to push his relationship with Techno to keep him safe.

When Phil walked into practice late the next day he saw Techno hunched over some books frantically and Phil knew his choice was made.

“Techno.” Phil called sternly from down the hallway. Techno looked up at him, Schlatt also looked up from where he was sitting near by. Phil paid him no mind and just used a finger to beckon Techno again.

Techno stood and walked down the hallway hesitantly.

“What’s up, Coach?” Techno asked.

“I hate to say but this isn’t really a ‘coach’ conversation, mate. Well- it half is but-“

“What’s going on?” Techno asked apprehensively.

“How’s school going?” Phil asked plainly and Phil could tell Techno tried his best but the boy still flinched.

“School is fine. Why? What does this have to do with you?” Techno asked, getting defensive.

Phil sighed.

“I’m disappointed. Techno, I thought you were above lying to me.”

“Phil- what the heck-“

“Your school called me, Techno.”

Techno’s eyes widened.

“So why you would lie to me when you put me down as an emergency contact really is baffling to me.”

“Phil- I- I’m sorry for giving them your number.” Techno’s whole demeanor changed, “You shouldn’t have to deal with this. I just thought that if something bad- something really bad happened- I would need one reliable person to just… pick up the phone—“

“Techno.” Phil interrupted, “You don’t have to apologize. I’m not mad.” Techno’s shoulders relaxed. “About that.” Phil finished and Techno tensed.

“Wha-“

“Your grades, Techno.” Phil explained, “They’re failing. And I want to know why.” He pleaded.

“They- I mean I’m- they’re just- I’m just-“ Techno stuttered for a moment before pushing his hands against his face then slowly closing them into fists.

Phil came closer.

“Hey, Techno relax your hands for me, mate.”

Techno let out a shuddering breath before obeying.

“What’s going on at school?” Phil asked again. Techno huffed out a broken laugh.

“I- I just- I work during free period and a work here before and after school most days. I mean- I have 6 classes, Phil. It’s a lot of work and I just don’t have time for homework like I used to.”

“And nothing I say will stop you from working, will it?”

“There’s bills to be paid, Phil.” Techno said plainly. A little too plainly for a 16-year-old in Phil’s opinion.

“I hope you’re only talking about your hockey bill.” Phil pushed and Techno paused.

“What are you insinuating?” Techno took a step back but he didn’t look… offended. He looked scared. Phil backed down. If he pushed Techno too far he wasn’t sure he’d get him back.

“Nothing.” He back tracked. “You don’t have any other time for school work?” Phil tried, “Not even on weekends?”

That seemed to strike another nerve in the kid and Phil’s mental file on him only became more troubling. His eyes went blank for a moment, like he was lost in a memory, before eventually returning and looking at Phil agin.

“Nah.” He said simply.

Phil paused. How far was he willing to push for the well-being of Techno’s future? Of his safety?

“Well then,” Phil continued, “if it’s the rink that is taking up all your time, mate, and you’re not willing to forfeit anything else… I’m going to have to bench you for the time being.”

“What?!” Techno took a step forward, as if he could defend himself physically against Phil’s words.

“You will come to practice and sit with me.” Phil continued, ignoring Techno’s reaction. “I wanna see you working on homework. Not hockey work.”

“Phil, you can’t just-“

“I can, Techno.” Phil paused. “And I just did.”

Techno stood still in shock as Phil walked back towards the rink to start practice.

“When your grades go up a bit we can talk about getting you back to practice!” Phil called out.

He was almost at the rink doors when a sound made him stop.

Techno was laughing. Pure and real laughter.

Phil turned around to face him once more.

“Phil-“ He continued, “do we really have to do this?” Techno laughed again, looking around manically.

“Excuse me?” Phil asked.

“What are you doing?” The boy threw his hands up, “Honestly! What is happening right now?”

“I’m trying to help you, Techno.” Phil answered tersely.

“You are not my father, Phil. And you are not my parent either.” Techno took a deep breath, “So what in prime’s name do you think you’re doing benching me over homework?” He asked seriously and Phil could hear the venom in his voice. Raw and real.

Techno was angry.

Obviously Phil had crossed the line he had been so worried about in the first place but when he thought back on his actions Phil didn’t find anything regrettable.

He didn’t care.

“I think-“ Phil said, matching Techno’s tone, “-that you said you need one reliable person. I think that it doesn’t matter if I’m benching you for a broken ankle or upcoming test. I’m the adult here. Not you. I’m your coach. And I’m being that reliable person right now. Whether you like it or not.”

“No, Phil. I-“

“Mate, I’m sorry to say but this is not a discussion.”

Phil turned and walked back into the rink. Leaving Techno in the hallway, seething.

Phil regretted the way Techno reacted and Phil was sure he could have handled the situation better. But believe it or not he had never raised a teenager and Phil was sure that was the first of many mistakes he would make.

He could only hope Techno could learn from his mistakes the same way Phil planned to.

When Techno walked out of school that Thursday he was conflicted.

He was mad at Phil, more mad than he’d ever been at Phil since well… ever. Who did the man think he was? Benching him because of homework.

Despite that thought Techno still got on the bus and headed to the rink. What was he supposed to do? Not go to practice out of spite for Phil and go home? Sure, it might scare Phil, which Techno wouldn’t be opposed to, but he really didn’t wanna go home or go spend the afternoon somewhere by himself.

So he got off the bus and headed into the rink to get his tasks done for the day. It was mostly just menial stuff, cleaning, organizing, and the like, but he got paid for it so Techno did it without complaint.

When it came time for practice he felt bare in just his sweatshirt and jeans. Walking toward Phil in the bleachers, backpack in tow, felt like the biggest blow to his pride he’d taken in a while and he didn’t think it would be Phil to take that from him.

Phil was looking at him as he got closer and Techno wanted Phil to be angry at him. Angry at him for snapping and being disrespectful. That would make it easier for Techno. He could hate the man for being mad at him when he was just trying to protect his life and his secrets.

But when he looked at Phil all he saw in the man’s eyes was compassion. The soft lines around his eyes making him look older than he was.

That look only made Techno angrier.

Why wasn’t Phil mad? How was he so calm?

Techno felt a hand on his shoulder and he flinched harshly. He turned to see George looking at him with worry. Techno cringed.

“Hey, George.” Techno said calmly, trying to salvage the situation.

“Hey, Blade.” George let a small strained smile cross his features, “Why aren’t you practicing with us?”

“Uh,” Techno knew the question was coming, that didn’t mean it was any easier to answer though. “I just got a lot of other things I gotta do. Junior year, y’know? Thought I needed a break.” He gritted out.

He was already mad at Phil for benching him, no way he was letting his friends know Phil benched him because of homework.

“Oh, gotcha. Cool. Well, hope to see you back on the ice soon.” George put a hand on his shoulder again and Techno couldn’t help the way he tensed. George walked away and Techno took a deep breath before finishing his trek to the bleachers.

When he looked at Phil again there was more worry there than before and Techno mentally cursed himself. Techno already suspected that Phil knew more than he was letting on and that was saying something because, by the looks of it, Phil already knew a lot. More than Techno ever planned to let slip.

Techno sat on the same row as Phil about five seats down and Phil seemed content with that. They hadn’t talked since their fight and Techno didn’t have anything else to say to the man. Not that Phil would really listen to him.

So Techno sat and he worked. He had a lot to do and he cursed himself for letting it pile up so much. He should be better than that. He was basically an adult. He should be able to manage some homework.

As time passed and he got more and more of it done he couldn’t deny that he felt better. He was still pissed as heck at Phil but… Techno didn’t want failing grades. He wanted to get a scholarship, maybe go to college, play hockey.

Ironic I have to sacrifice hockey to get that chance… Techno thought bitterly.

Doing homework in the bleachers, with Phil watching over him from time to time, gave him the strangest sense of deja vu. He did the same thing all those years ago before his parents got divorced.

Before my life fell apart… Before I was broken…

He had cared so much about his grades back then. And it wasn’t that they weren’t important now… they just- fell lower on the priority list. Self preservation is higher. He was a teenager now and did what anyone else would do when he didn’t like his grades.

He just… stopped looking at them.

A week later, after another week of Techno doing nothing but sitting and working on his mind numbing homework, he was messing around with the guys after practice when it all went downhill.

Again.

He still wasn’t wearing his hockey gear and today that left him in a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt.

They were honestly just messing around, not even on the ice, it was Friday so they organized a fake scrimmage in the lobby and it was after practice hours so Techno thought it would be fine for him to join in. And it was fine.

At first.

He was so busy thinking about what Phil would say if he saw him participating he didn’t account for the bruises he had acquired over the weekend.

Specifically, the one that laced all across his collar bone. The one shaped like black and blue handprints.

One thing led to another and Techno found himself trying to fight off both Schlatt and Quackity. Then he saw Phil walk in from the rink doors and he lost his focus. At the same time Schlatt tripped and fell, falling face first into Techno’s collar bone.

Techno cried out against his will and took a knee. Schlatt and Quackity immediately backed off and left Techno alone.

Techno stood up wordlessly, keeping his gaze on the floor. To avoid Phil’s eye line, but also to lessen the embarrassment that was lacing through his whole body.

“Sorry, Blade.” Schlatt immediately stood and put a hand on Techno’s shoulder. Techno brushed him off violently, out of instinct, before he calmed down.

“It’s fine. Excuse me-“ He walked away from the rest of his team and toward the locker room.

He finally made eye contact with Phil as he passed him on the way. Phil’s eyes fell to his collar bone and Techno followed his gaze.

His shirt had come off his shoulder in the scuffle. Putting the bruises on display. Techno cursed and righted himself, immediately walking faster.

How much worse could this day get, huh?

He knew he wasn’t doing a good enough job hiding everything from Phil but he had to do better than giving the man concrete evidence at every turn.

That thought made Techno question everything again. Why was he hiding it again? From Phil of all people?

The same answers that always did popped into his head.

He’ll kill you if someone finds out. You know they love you in their own twisted way. You already destroyed your parent’s marriage, you gonna leave them now too?

Right. That was why.

Techno pushed into the locker room and looked in the mirror. He really looked worse than he thought. He pulled up his shirt.

Bags under his eyes, bruises on his chest, no light in his eyes-

“Techno?” Phil’s voice.

Turns out this day could get worse.

Techno dropped his shirt and turned around quickly, just as Phil turned the corner.

“Are you ok?” He asked simply.

Techno tried to keep himself in check.

“Fine.” He pushed Phil off and started to walk past him.

“No, Techno, you were in pain and-“ Phil’s hand landed on his arm and Techno’s arm twitched, throwing Phil off.

“And nothing, Phil. I’m fine!” Techno defended, facing Phil and taking a couple steps backward.

“Mate, I know you’re mad I benched you-“

“You think that’s all this is?”

“We don’t have to talk about this right now, mate-“

“No, no, Phil. Let’s talk.” Techno seethed, unable to stop himself. Why was he ruining everything? “This is about you trying to worm your way into my life! Despite me telling you I’m fine- you won’t leave me alone! You don’t believe I can take care of myself. You just have to be my savior!” Techno took a breath, “Well guess what? I don’t need saving!”

“Techno, I’m only trying to help-“

“No! No, Phil you’re not! You’re only going to make everything worse! Don’t you see that? I don’t need you! And you can’t handle it!”

“Mate-“

“No! You can bench me and, sure, I have to deal with it, but don’t you dare pretend for one second that it’s for my well-being.”

“Techno-“

Phil’s voice was laced with more pain than Techno had ever heard. Why was he still pretending to care?

“No one cares about my well-being! No one ever has! So don’t pretend like you’re any different.” Techno gritted out before he stormed out of the locker room and into the lobby.

He didn’t realize until he was heading outside, away from Phil, that he was crying.

Techno knew he was a lot of things… but he never thought self destructive would be one of them.

Techno was still fuming as he walked to his dad’s house.

He didn’t know what to say- what to think anymore. Here he was blowing up his relationship with Phil, for what? His pride?

He didn’t know what he was doing but… he also didn’t know how to stop.

He opened the door to his dad’s house quietly, as always, and the rest of the house was quiet too. He closed the door and just stood still for a moment.

Was his father home?

Then suddenly his phone beeped. Loudly.

Techno flinched and turned toward the nearest hallway to look for danger. His backpack swung and slammed into a vase that was beside the door, sending it to the ground.

The shattering might as well have been a gun shot in the quiet house.

The shards spread throughout the foyer and Techno immediately dropped his bags, falling to his knees to start picking the shards up.

After he had a handful of painfully sharp glass in each hand he heard his father’s footsteps echo through the hallway.

“What are you- what did you do?!” His father asked angrily.

Techno looked up at his father and flinched before looking back at his bleeding hands and down at his bleeding knees.

“Worthless-piece of-“ Techno didn’t have time to wrap his arms around himself before his father’s foot came cascading into his sore stomach.

Techno’s body went limp against his will and he fell to the ground, hitting the glass hard.

Techno felt the fuzziness enter his brain again, the one that begged him to pass out or just… leave, to make the pain go away. But Techno knew if he let himself go that he would only wake up in too much blood and pain to continue.

Techno’s father snapped him out of his internal struggle when the man grabbed him by the hair and sent another punch to his ribs.

He let Techno fall back to the sharp floor and Techno felt something firm connect with the back of his head before his arms could come up to protect it.

His body was begging more and more to dissociate but when he didn’t hear his father’s steps retreating his fight or flight was stronger.

He was bleeding too much. He couldn’t come back from this if he didn’t do anything to help himself.

I might die here. Techno suddenly thought. He might kill me.

Techno’s mind went empty again as another kick landed on his stomach. He was sure his father was still yelling insults at him but he couldn’t hear anything past the ringing in his ears.

Phil.

The thought came so suddenly that Techno’s pride didn’t have time to stop it.

I need Phil.

Techno’s pride was bleeding out on the floor with him and he knew what he needed to do.

Techno used his legs and kicked up at his father. He got a good shot to the man’s stomach and Techno used every ounce of strength he had left to push himself off the ground, ignoring the piercing white pain that erupted in his palm.

His father stumbled back a few steps and Techno concluded that he must have been really drunk for Techno’s kick to affect him that much.

Techno grabbed his bag without a second thought and ran out the door, ignoring every bit of pain that was begging him to fall down and just stop because it wasn’t worth it.

But Techno kept running, only looking back once to confirm that no, his father was not coming after him.

His pace slowed after that but he didn’t let himself stop. He couldn’t.

He couldn’t ignore the string of words his subconscious wouldn’t let go.

Phil. Phil. Safe. Home. Phil. Help. Phil. Safe. Get to Phil.

Phil looked at the clock in his office tiredly.

It was nearing 10 o’clock and he still had work to do here if he didn’t want to come in on Saturday. And it didn’t help that he wasn’t getting anything done because of the sickening worry that moved into his gut and wasn’t leaving.

Anytime he tried to do anything productive the same thoughts would flash in his head.

Techno. Is Techno safe? How do I get him back? What do I need to do better? Is this tough love or did I go too far?

He sent the boy a text about the time he should have gotten home because he just couldn’t help himself. Techno hadn’t responded, of course. And Phil was face with the thought of whether or not he had lost Techno forever because of their fights.

In the end though, there was nothing Phil could do but wait and be there for the kid in every way he could.

Techno could yell as much as he wanted and push him far away.

Phil didn’t think he could ever let Techno go.

Techno got himself on a bus without a second thought and while he didn’t know where he was going he knew where he would end up.

Techno got off the bus after three stops and wasn’t surprised to find himself at the rink.

All he could do was stumble toward it and hope that it was still open despite it being past 10 and not illuminated.

When he got to the doors though- they opened and Techno just stumbled painfully through the dark lobby.

I thought he was going to kill me…

The blows never seemed to stop. Would they have ever stopped?

He kept stumbling until he made it halfway down the main hallway and to the door he knew all too well.

He didn’t hesitate this time as he fell through it.

Techno’s vision blurred and he saw Phil there standing.

Techno couldn’t hold himself up anymore though.

He deposited himself on Phil’s couch and the man immediately came over to meet him. He had a white and red box in one hand and he immediately took Techno’s hands with the other.

Soon the white hot stabbing pain was back and Techno cried out for the first time that night. He heard Phil start to speak lowly and Techno relaxed marginally. Techno was sure Phil was trying to ask him some questions but his head was so fuzzy he still couldn’t hear anything.

The only thing he could focus on was the deep pain in his hands and head. The blow his father struck to his skull that he couldn’t block in time pained him more than anything his father had ever done.

Slowly Techno came back to himself and he noticed that Phil was slowly removing the glass from his hands and knees and dressing the wounds. Soon Techno felt a grounding presence on his shoulders and he came even more back to himself.

The onslaught of pain was almost unbearable but seeing Phil there in front of him forced him to stay. Techno knew he was crying. When his hearing normalized he could hear himself mumbling.

“I- I can’t- He’s- He was gonna- I can’t take him anymore!“ He choked out between sobs.

“Who? Who Techno? Is it your dad?” Phil asked calmly and Techno didn’t know how there wasn’t any anger or judgment in his tone. After everything.

“I just- I just want to be safe.” Techno sobbed, “…taken care of. And I can’t do it all by myself anymore. I can’t do it!”

“Techno, just tell me who and I promise… I will protect you.” Phil put more pressure on Techno’s shoulders and Techno felt himself melt even more.

The room was silent for a long moment. Too long. Techno was going to lose himself again.

“Stay with me, mate.” Phil shook him gently, “Who? Let me help you.”

“It’s- It’s my dad…” Techno whispers, “And my mom doesn’t help…” He sniffled, “They both… I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Phil…”

“You have nothing to be sorry for, Techno. We’re going to figure this out.” Phil promised, “They won’t hurt you anymore.”

Techno finally fell into Phil’s shoulder and sobbed. He ignored the pain and he sobbed until there was nothing left in him.

He was a husk of himself. He had been for a long time.

And that was when he let the darkness take him.

Techno thought when he woke up it would be fast. He would startle. Protect himself against the pain he could do nothing about. He would roll over on the uncomfortable mattress and lick his wounds by himself.

That was why Techno was thoroughly confused when he woke up slowly, in the most comfortable bed he had ever felt.

But despite the confusing circumstances Techno knew exactly where he was as he opened his eyes slowly. He relaxed at the sight he already knew, even if it was only for one night. Phil’s guest room.

The next thing Techno noticed was what he was expecting. The pain.

His hands felt like they were on fire, his knees were sore, and it felt like his heart was in his head with the way it pounded. In the end, his whole body throbbed and ached.

A moment later Techno heard a quiet knock before the door opened softly and he saw Phil walk in.

“‘hil-“ Techno slurred out.

“You’re awake.” Phil smiled and walked up to the bedside table. He set a bottle of water and two painkillers next to it.

“Wh- what happened?” Techno asked.

“You don’t remember?” Phil asked and Techno shook his head. “Uh… you came to my office and you were bleeding really bad… and you were non-verbal. I don’t think you heard anything I said.” Phil let out a small laugh, “Uh, I tried to clean up your hands but there was a lot of glass in them and it was all pretty deep.”

Techno let out a deep breath.

“When you finally started talking, you didn’t tell me what happened but you agreed to let me help you. Then you… uh- passed out.” Phil said sadly and Techno cringed. “I took you to the hospital.” Techno’s eyes widened.

“No- no- no-“

“Mate, you were bleeding a lot and I knew some of those cuts needed stitches-”

“My parents- they can’t- they can’t know-“ Techno swallowed harshly.

“They won’t. I made sure. Don’t worry about it, Techno. Please.”

Techno was silent as he let his breaths slow down.

“What time is it?” He asked after a moment.

“It’s almost noon. Saturday. You were out for a while but the doctor told me that was normal so I didn’t want to wake you. I’m glad you’re awake now though.”

“I- I don’t remember any of that.”

“It’s ok. The doctor said that was normal too. It might come back to you in time.”

Techno sighed.

“Phil, I-“ Techno stopped and Phil stayed silent, “I don’t remember everything but… I remember our fights… a lot better than I wish I did… and I’m just- I’m sorry.” Techno sighed, “I was being self destructive and stupid and I was just so so angry about so many things… that I took it out on you. And that was wrong. I’m sorry.” Techno paused.

“And- and I didn’t mean it.” He continued, “All of the things I said… I didn’t mean them.”

Techno hoped Phil knew what he was talking about.

“You’re only going to make everything worse! Don’t you see that? I don’t need you! And you can’t handle it!”

“I know, mate. You were speaking out of anger… but I shouldn’t have pushed in the way that I did. I should have been more careful.” Phil sighed.

“You were just trying to help. I see that now.”

“Thank you, mate.” Phil paused, “But Techno you can’t- you can’t disregard my authority like that. I hope that you know me well enough that you would know I only benched you to protect you. To protect your future.”

“I- I’ve never had anyone do that for me before.” Techno said quietly.

“I know.”

Techno was quiet and he felt his eyes well up again.

“I- I don’t know what I’m supposed to do… how I’m supposed to go back there…” Techno brought a hand up to wipe away the tears and he flinched. He was sure his face also looked like one giant bruise with an ample amount of cuts covering it too. “My mom doesn’t even…” He tried, “My dad won’t admit-“ Techno choked on his words, “I don’t know how I’m supposed to get out of this.” He whispered.

Techno hated the pleading in his voice but he could admit to himself that he had never been more scared than he was in that moment. Both when his father was over him and also now trying to figure out what he was going to do next.

“Techno… there is a lot to figure out. I won’t deny that. I can tell you one thing though.” Phil paused, “You won’t go back.”

“Phil, I don’t have anywhere else to go.” Techno scoffed.

“I put in to have my foster license renewed.” Phil blurted.

“Wh- what?”

“I- if you want… you can stay with me.” Techno’s wide eyed expression didn’t change. “I’m sure the courts will be no fun but with this kind of evidence-“

“Phil-“ Techno interrupted, “What?” He asked again, like his brain would process the words differently if Phil said them again.

“I- I want to foster you, Techno. If- if that’s what you want.” Phil said again, “All I know is… you can’t stay where you are.”

Techno paused, “I know…” He said quietly, “You- you’ve fostered before?”

“Here and there. Couple years ago now. Mostly emergency placements. I had the room and I wanted to help. So I did what I could.”

“Why- why’d you stop?” Techno asked tentatively, Phil paused.

“It was hard seeing those kids… just for a couple of days or hours, getting to know them, learning to love them… only to watch them be whisked off to somewhere that might hurt them.” Phil sighed, “But I didn’t have the means to long term foster back then. There- there was nothing I could do and so it just… wasn’t right for me back then.”

Techno’s voice was barely above a whisper.

“…and now?”

“Now…” Phil started, “there is nothing I want more… than for you to have a place here, Techno. Long term, short term, whatever you want… I want you.”

Techno didn’t know what to say.

“I know I can’t stay where I am but Phil… you- you don’t want me.” Techno scoffed. “I’m- I’m rude and stupid and I can’t sit still and- and I’m just broken and worthless-“

“Technoblade.” Phil interrupted harshly, “You are none of those things. And I do want you Techno. Flaws and all. Maybe you’re a little damaged. But don’t ever believe that you aren’t worth working on.”

Techno didn’t know what to say

“Th- thank you.”

“Don’t thank me yet, mate. The courts are gonna be hell but it’ll all be worth it.”

“Why?”

“Because I’d know you’re safe.”