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A few weeks have passed since Wanderer’s initial request. He and Aether have formed a sort of routine, one that’s awkward and occasionally embarrassing — but they make it work. He’s relieved that Aether doesn’t judge him. So many judged Scaramouche for needs outside of his — outside of Wanderer’s control.
He’s still working on not separating himself from Scaramouche. There’s an odd divide between his memories and the Balladeer’s, but Aether’s been helping him with that, too. Despite everything that’s happened between them, Wanderer has found a safe haven in Aether.
And as a result, he’s gone and gotten attached.
Wanderer wouldn’t call his feelings for Aether romantic or sexual, but he wouldn’t call them platonic, either. Nor familial. There’s a sort of in-between the first and third that he hovers between. He prefers not to put a label on it at all. Aether has said that he feels similarly, and that there’s no need to name every little thing he feels.
Wanderer takes comfort in that. He takes comfort in a lot of things that Aether does and doesn’t do. Like how Aether will always ask him what his hard limits are no matter how much time they spend together, and how Aether wraps an arm around him to keep him steady during aftercare.
This new thing between them… it’s something that Wanderer has never really experienced in either life he lived. This is kind and soft and selfless on Aether’s end. There are no strings attached, no catch, and at first Wanderer didn’t trust it. But Aether proved over and over that he wanted nothing in return, and was (and is) simply happy to help, so Wanderer no longer questions his kindness.
There are days where Wanderer doesn’t think he can make it through the day without orders. That was one of the perks of being in the Fatui — there was always something for him to do, an order to be carried out. But those days have passed and will never be so again. So he doesn’t get up.
But Aether has started coming over in the morning to check on him. Since Wanderer doesn’t need to sleep, Aether comes in at dawn. Paimon is nowhere to be seen each time. She’s a late sleeper, and knows when Aether doesn’t want others to be around, so she leaves him alone for these sessions.
Aether comes in without knocking, now. Wanderer gave him a key. He trusts Aether. When Aether comes in, he asks Wanderer if he needs anything — their own little code. It’s the same every time. He takes comfort in it.
If Wanderer doesn’t need anything, then he’ll say so. But on days where he does… he just reaches for the rope and tosses it to Aether.
Today is one of those days. At dawn, Aether comes in. He asks the same question, and Wanderer throws him the rope. But things are different today — he needs to go to the Akademiya library to pick up some textbooks. But how is he going to manage that? An order can only take him so far in this situation — he needs specifics. So he explains.
Aether listens and pauses to think. Then he suggests, “How about I come with you?”
“It’s not enough,” Wanderer replies. He’s agitated. Frustrated. Will he even get anything done today? He doesn’t know, and he starts spiraling, but Aether’s there to keep him from falling too far down.
“Relax.” Aether soothes him with warm, comforting hands on him, lifting him up into a sitting position and gently grasping his shoulders. “If it’s not enough, I can tie your wrist to mine, so you can’t wander off.”
Keep him from walking away. Bind him to Aether’s side. To safety. Yes, that sounds good. Wanderer likes it. He nods, and Aether takes his wrist and tugs him to his feet. He combs Wanderer’s hair and places hit hat on his head, and Wanderer sits still and waits for orders. Or bindings. Whichever comes first.
“Hard limits?” Aether asks, wrapping the rope around both of their wrists.
“Just there and back,” Wanderer says quietly. “No detours.”
“No detours,” Aether agrees. “A quick in-and-out. Nothing more.”
“Promise?”
“I promise. We’ll be back before nine if we go now.”
“Okay.” Wanderer allows Aether to guide him out of the house. Then to the city. Then to the Akademiya. And finally to the library. There are times where he’s distracted by something, or hears an odd noise and wants to investigate, but he can’t go any further than arm’s length from Aether’s side. And he likes it.
Now that they’re in the library, they have to find the textbooks. Aether doesn’t know where anything is. Wanderer does. But he can’t bring himself to move. He looks to Aether for guidance.
“Bring me to the first textbook you need,” Aether says, keeping his voice down but still exercising authority. And it’s authority that Wanderer needs to finally start moving towards the first textbook. But when they get to it, he starts idling again.
“Pick it up,” Aether tells him. “I’ll carry it.” And Wanderer picks up the textbook and hands it to him. Each of them only has the use of one hand, but that’s better than both being bound. It’s a bit clunky, but they make it work.
Wanderer needs three textbooks. Aether keeps giving him orders, helping him go through the task with relative ease. Wanderer’s not agitated or lost — no, he’s completely calm throughout the process. The familiar feeling of safety drapes over him like a soft, fluffy blanket. He looks forward to getting home. He wants his actual blanket, one that Aether got him. And he wants Aether to hold him again. But the blanket first.
“Let’s go home,” Aether says, and this time it’s Wanderer who takes the lead, feeling more confident in himself. And Aether’s right — they do make it back before nine. He’s right about a lot of things.
Wanderer nearly drags Aether to his bedroom in his anticipation. He lifts his wrist, lifting Aether’s along with it, and Aether knows what he’s thinking without having to ask. He undoes the knot and severs the tie. But Wanderer isn’t unsure anymore. He grabs Aether’s arm and drags him into bed.
There’s nothing remotely sexual about this, but it’s certainly intimate. Wanderer does the same thing every time — he wraps a blanket around himself and presses up against Aether. Aether holds him close, his touch both gentle and firm, until Wanderer’s ready to let go again. This is the part of their arrangement that goes smoothly every time. And it’s Wanderer’s favorite.
He’ll have to end this moment eventually. Aether and him both have things to do, and the former has given him the boost he needed to make it on his own. But he’s warm and comfortable and feeling very supported right now, so he revels in the moment and lets his mind drift.
This can’t last forever, but he’ll take what he can while he’s still able.