Work Text:
Wilbur Robinson had never been this upset before.
Actually, he could think of a million other times he’d been enraged or frustrated to the point he couldn’t think clearly. However, he preferred to do just that- not think. Block out everything and anything he doesn’t want to think about and just roll with the punches.
Why should he focus on himself when everyone else was so much more interesting?
But this was one of the times he had to focus on himself, he didn’t like to do that.
Wilbur glared at his lap, too annoyed to distract himself with his phone as his dad continued talking to him about preparing for college while they drove home. Just over an hour ago Wilbur had known that when he got home he would be too angry to think and now- here he was, angry but still thinking.
He hated going to events like this, where parents would drag their kids to put them in new programs and classes to be ready for the next step after High-school.
It made Wilbur want to tear out his hair, because every time either his Mom, Dad, C4R1, or whoever had taken him to the most recent event would- without fail- give him a long unneeded speech on how he should start focusing on getting better grades and getting into college.
Despite the thick layer of fury he felt whenever this happened, he could admit (to himself) that he was also terrified and ashamed . He knows they all had a point but what if he just wants to- mess around and enjoy being a teenager? There was nothing wrong with that as far as he could tell.
But above all else, he just felt confused . He could understand the importance of getting into college and having some great purpose or something in society like the rest of his family, but what he couldn’t understand is why did everyone in the family care about it so much?
All their nagging had done was make him feel self-conscious and really obligated to follow in everyone else’s footsteps. ‘All of us knew exactly what we wanted to do with our lives, and we got there! Surely our youngest member does too!’
Yeah, except he didn’t and thinking about it too hard for too long made him feel vulnerable and nauseous , and that’s a bad combo for Wilbur Robinson because those two emotions together was a one way ticket to weep town and he didn’t feel like going there ever so that’s why he’d settled on feeling angry.
There was no point anyways, he’d seen the end (or the nothing? He didn’t know what to call what he saw when he stopped existing and he didn’t care - if he didn’t want to remember it he wouldn’t , it was as simple as that.) and figured it ultimately wouldn’t matter how mad he got or how much he felt like crying everytime he got home after these meetings, he’d end up right back there in the end. So, no he didn’t think it mattered nor was it that interesting.
What he thought was interesting was how nobody in his family ever asked him if he wanted to go to college. Of course, he did but he would feel guilty if he didn’t do something like that in the future with his life and potentially embarrass his family and himself. Again, he just felt obligated to go because he guessed going to college was the perfect next step after High-school.
But the whole problem was that he didn’t know what he wanted to do with his life at all . Going to college is one thing but what about after that? How did his mom go from ‘crazy frog-girl’ to ‘Mother of Music’, how did Talluluah get to be such a prestigious fashion designer, literally who could’ve predicted that Uncle Art would be a pizza delivery guy to other planets?
Wilbur couldn’t wrap his head around the time gap between everyone going to college and suddenly being the best people in their careers or some of the best. Thinking of the possibilities just added to the pressure he already felt all the time.
Sometimes he really hated - ah… no, disliked his family because if it weren’t for them and their stupid perfect work lives and optimistic attitudes and general likable selves, he wouldn’t have to live up to his entire family. It was absurd, what 15 year old should be having a midlife crisis? Only Wilbur Robinson, that’s who. But he’d rather be seething then let anyone, family or stranger, know what he really felt beyond his annoyance.
So he seethed in the passenger seat, unaware that his Dad had long ago stopped talking about college and his future. Cornelius sent his son multiple concerned looks for the rest of the ride, but Wilbur had successfully locked himself in his own head.
Wilbur blinked a bit, brows still furrowed in thinly veiled aggression (C4R1 would argue barely) and stared out the window. As far as he was concerned, the one sided conversation was over.
…he should take the Time Machine again, he couldn’t stand another minute at home. Not like this, when he was too wound up to think through his words. No, his family was not allowed to see his worst sides. Never. It was unthinkable.