Archive of Our Own ^beta

“Falling in love with you,” Jacob mutters to himself, poring over his notebook filled with scribbles and crossed-out lyrics. “Is like…” He trails off, noticing Younghoon who’s leaning over his shoulder impatiently.

“Like?” His co-worker–and friend but Jacob refuses to call him that just to annoy him–peers at him expectantly.

“Like,” He sighs. “I don’t know, a candy cane?” He groans, thumping his head down on the desk which only worsens his pounding headache but he’d much rather not be reminded of that, thank you very much.

“A candy cane,” Younghoon breathes in disbelief. He leans back in his chair, swiping his hand over his face in frustration. “What even rhymes with that?”

Before Jacob can even utter a single protest, Younghoon reaches forward and grabs the notebook into his hands. He watches as his eyes scan over the messy words, the look in them transforming from interest into a dull emotion. Jacob can’t put his finger on what emotion exactly. All he knows is that his lyrics must be so bad that Younghoon simply doesn’t have a single spark of hope behind his pupils. 

Younghoon purses his lips and sets the notebook down softly. He leans forward, taking a quick glance at the nearby calendar. In big letters, notably in red because Jacob personally chose the color to “match the holidays” but he definitely regrets that now, is a deadline–specifically for a certain song about falling in love.

Jacob winces. “Look, before you say anything–” 

“I’m not,” He sighs. “I’m sure you already know.”

“That my lyrics aren’t up to par?” He eyes him nervously. In the small crevice of his heart, he hopes that Younghoon will say no.

“Yes.”

“Ah, well.” Jacob looks at him, unimpressed. “I don’t have much experience with falling in love, Hoon.”

“I know that.”

Jacob feigns hurt. “Wow.”

Younghoon smirks, huffing out a laugh. “Don’t take it personally. I mean, you literally don’t. When’s the last time you’ve been on a date?” When Jacob refuses to answer that question, he pauses and thinks for a moment. And then he swivels in his chair, reaches for Jacob’s bag, and shoves it into his chest.

Jacob stares down at it with horror. “Are you firing me?”

“You know I can’t fire you.” Younghoon blinks at him. “I’m not your boss.”

“But–”

“What I mean is to go home. Take a breather. Come back refreshed so we can finish this before the deadline.” Younghoon waves him off, turning back to where his computer’s open to the instrumental he’s creating for said song. 

Jacob approaches the doorway, standing there for a moment. During this moment, short-lived but feeling obnoxiously long anyway, he feels that same sense of loneliness that comes to creep up on him more often during this time of the year. He knows that he should follow Younghoon’s advice, really. Go home and take a break. But that home is empty. 

Still, as he makes his way out of the building and down the street, Jacob puts on that smile–the one where he’s not sure if it’s fake or if it’s the holiday spirit. He’s pretty sure it’s the first one. As his shoes thump rhythmically on the sidewalk, he pulls out his earphones, already connected to his phone.

Pressing play, he allows himself to be lost in the world of music –the thing that’s led him to the life that he leads now. His passion started when he was a small child. He loved to analyze the different components of music, most especially, the lyrics. He loved to figure out the hidden meanings behind the words sung by his favorite artists and he loved to create his own.

Music is how he found himself away from home–away from the suburbs and into the city, surrounded by tall buildings and people dressed in suits early in the morning. Pursuing music though, is subjective. Some like to train to become those stars that appear on award shows that Jacob enjoys watching late at night, accompanied by a tub of ice cream. Others, like Younghoon, enjoy creating the magic behind the background of the voices–the beats, melodies, and harmonies. 

Jacob? Well, he’s a lyricist. Give him a prompt and he can easily create a verse with words that rhyme beautifully. He doesn’t sing and he likes to make that clear, especially to the aunties who urge him to “show-and-tell” his music skills. He’s the one who works in the background of larger artists, the one who gives them their lyrical depth.

As he draws nearer to his apartment, Jacob remembers that his home isn’t always empty. The city that it’s part of, at least, is always bustling. He nods to one of his other co-workers who’s frantically running late to work, waves kindly at the group of kids who’re on a school trip to the nearby museum, and stops to alert a soft-spoken woman that she forgot to pick up her dog’s poop.

He does the usual routine of stopping at the grocery store. He’s made a vow to cook more, rather than rely on microwaved meals. But, he may have overestimated the amount of tomatoes he needs because now his hands are full, fumbling to keep them from rolling out and onto the street. 

He waits at the traffic light, watching silently for it to switch to the walking symbol. That’s when he feels a soft tap on his arm. He struggles to pull off his earphones and turn his head, but when he eventually does, he only comes face-to-face with nothing. Ah, but he looks down and there’s a short elderly woman looking up at him.

She’s dressed cozily for the weather, a kind look in both the crinkle of her eyes and her soft smile.

“Hello,” Jacob politely greets.

She grins even wider. “You’re such a handsome young man!” She suddenly exclaims, causing Jacob to laugh nervously.

“Thank you,” He replies with a bright smile.

She nods, shuffling a bit closer to him. “Would you be so kind as to help me walk across the street? I don’t move as fast as I used to…” 

Jacob gulps, looking down at the bags piled in his hand, preventing him from offering her an arm for her to hold. At this point, he’s already panicking, noticing the traffic light changing. Once he sees that she’s already holding out a small hand, he’s almost about to rush to set the bags down and secretly pray the tomatoes won’t rebelliously escape when suddenly, he feels a presence beside the two of them.

Jacob looks and sees a tall man with sharp eyes and curled-up lips. There’s a bit of a mischievous look to him, but Jacob can see the true down-to-earth intentions behind his features.

“I can help,” He offers, smiling kindly. 

Jacob breathes out a sigh of relief.

The old woman looks up at the other man before cooing further. “Another handsome young man!” She smiles delightedly. “Tell me, why is my grandson still so short? Like a gingerbread man…” The man laughs in courteous amusement, already offering an arm for her to hold on to.

Then, the man turns back to Jacob who’s about to rush to say thank you. He shakes his head with a scrunch of his nose. “Don’t worry about it.”

Jacob relaxes and follows behind the pair, wishing them well as they part ways. With a light feeling in his heart, he boards the train and heads to his apartment. This time, without music because well, he physically doesn’t have the hands to put his earphones back in.

His apartment is located in a warm and quiet place. It can be dull sometimes, but at this time of the year, Jacob almost adores the street with its view of the river. Some people have decorated their balconies with Christmas lights and there are pops of red and green scattered about. The trees are spotted with snow and he can faintly hear someone playing the holiday radio on their speaker. Normally, they would be charged with a noise complaint, but apparently, even the landlord particularly enjoys the holiday music.

But even while Jacob loves the holidays, there’s still that dreadful drop of his heart when he climbs the stairs, unlocks the door, and comes home to a cold, badly decorated apartment.

And even while Jacob is supposed to relax, as a certain someone had suggested, he still finds himself sitting at his desk, tapping his pen away and trying to figure out the lyrics for this song. Love songs are not his forte, which is easily seen by the way Jacob’s now watching random clips of romance movies, even watching the two characters kiss over and over again to find that feeling. Yet it all merely feels dry to him.

Jacob sighs. Having enough of the blank pages–ignoring all the crossed-out attempts–of his notebook he gets up from his chair, throws on his coat, and rushes out the door. The guitar case slung over his body is a familiar weight, different from the heavy frustration that previously reigned over his chest. 

He walks through the streets while clutching onto his guitar like it’s the sole thing that’s important to him. Which might as well be considering how miserable he is right now. 

There are many ways to express a person’s passion for music. Jacob originally started with just listening and analyzing before moving on to writing the lyrics behind the songs. But now, he also loves to play. Not in front of a huge crowd, but just on the street in one particular spot. Late at night with the sun already hidden, he loves to sit on his guitar case (he keeps it closed because he’s not looking for money) and play whatever song comes to mind. It’s his own personal favorite way to clear his head. Sometimes he’ll strum the chords of his all-time favorite song and sometimes, he’ll make up a tune and tweak it until he’s given up. 

As he sits and begins playing, Jacob allows himself to breathe. The street that he plays on is typically quiet, especially in the evening. And after playing here for so long, he’s come to memorize a few people who regularly walk by this time of the night. 

Firstly, there’s the old man who always stops by the nearby grocery store to buy mangoes. Jacob once asked him why he only opts for that specific fruit and he replied that his wife adores them. Even the old man himself has no idea why. Either way, Jacob admires their long-lasting love.

Then there are two notable teenagers. Notable because they’re complete opposites. The first one, always dressed in starkly dark colors, is usually held back by the school from detention. Jacob knows this because he accidentally overheard his mother screaming at him through the phone. The other teenager who always looks incredibly put together, is held back at school for her own studies. Jacob once saw her cry over a test grade.

There’s also the woman who lives in one of the apartments nearby. Jacob knows her because he’s observed her grow to have a healthy, joyful relationship with another man. But then, he watched it fall down like a house of cards, as she more often stumbles out of her apartment to cry over her boyfriend’s harsh words. Jacob once told her that she was beautiful and she had burst out into more tears.

He looks up from his guitar after messing up one of the chords, only to see another man approaching. 

Juyeon.

Immediately, Jacob smiles warmly, tilting his head as he watches him walk down the sidewalk, bag slung over his shoulder. He’s always dressed comfortably. Perfect for what Jacob’s figured out over time: being a dance teacher.

Jacob admires his everlasting kindness, something that’s so visible and so heart-warming. Juyeon was the man who once paid for the old man because he forgot his wallet. He once told the rebellious teenager not to get into too much trouble, even mentioning that he made the same mistake when he was younger. He told the other teenager not to worry too much over a mediocre grade. He once even fixed the woman’s broken necklace after it had been thrown out the window by her boyfriend.

And he was the one who helped the elderly woman across the street earlier.

Jacob already knows him. He’s grown quite fond of him. But, he usually watches from afar, nodding and smiling when Juyeon waves at him.

As he’s playing, Jacob notices another person approaching. And this one, he has no idea who. But under the cheery winter air and the festive lights, he can tell there’s something off with this man. He’s covered in black clothes, perfect for keeping out of sight, and there’s a large bag in his hands. Jacob swears some money flew out of the small opening as he’s literally running down the sidewalk–running from something.

And then there’s Juyeon. Sweet, sweet Juyeon, walking down the same sidewalk, adorably smiling at Jacob.

That’s when Jacob starts panicking. He knows that man is up to something, and he’s actually positively sure that he’s running from authorities as he can hear the sirens from afar. With widened eyes, he briskly puts down his guitar and stands up. But before he can even utter a single warning, the thief bumps straight into Juyeon, causing him to yelp and stumble. Jacob gasps, watching as his body flails and as the side of his head hits straight onto the metal pole nearby.

If things couldn’t get any worse, Juyeon’s body falls to the side and onto the street, laid out completely unconscious. Forgetting the thief, Jacob runs to his side, checking his pulse. He breathes out a faint sigh of relief, only for his lungs to seize up again once he notices car lights rapidly approaching. It's blinding but it so clearly spells out doom.

“Oh, no no no,” Jacob mutters. “Sir?” He exclaims, loud into his ears. But it’s of no use as his eyes have fluttered shut and probably aren’t going to open anytime soon. Hopefully, he’s just knocked out and nothing worse. “Sir?” He yells again. “Th-there’s a car coming and I know your head probably hurts like hell, but if you could please wake up and get off the street?” He pleads. Still no response.

He’s hopeless, looking around for anyone to help. “Okay,” He mutters. “So we’re doing this then.” And so, with a grunt, he channels all his strength into his upper body so that he can hook his arms around the objectively very tall and muscular man to pull him out of the street. The car whizzes by, completely oblivious to the man that it was about to murder.

Jacob’s heart is beating fast–impossibly fast as he holds Juyeon protectively close to his own body and tries to process that he just saved a man from his untimely death. When the sirens draw closer, he practically collapses with Juyeon slumped on top of him, feeling faint and dizzy. This is by far, his most interesting holiday yet. And it certainly isn’t in a good way. 

Jacob hates loud and bright things. In fact, if he could, he would reincarnate as a hermit crab accompanied solely by a record player. He doesn’t like the type of music that blares obnoxiously in his ears to the point that it might as well serve as his alarm in the morning and he doesn’t like when the sun blinds him to the point that he can’t even cross the bustling streets of the city. 

Particularly, Jacob hates hospitals which are both loud and bright. But he’s here–in the middle of the night, rushing through the waiting room and practically throwing the front of his body into the marble of the front desk.

“Is there a Juyeon? I think he was just admitted,” He frantically speaks, stumbling over his words.

The receptionist looks up at him expectantly. “Last name?”

“Last name?” He parrots back. The pit in his stomach drops even deeper. “I don’t…” 

The woman only raises an eyebrow, her hand barely even twitching on her keyboard.

“Are you a family member?” She chews her gum loudly. Jacob gulps, looking around helplessly.

“No,” He breathed. “But I know him.”

She shakes her head disapprovingly. “Only family members are allowed in the critical care unit.”

Jacob suppresses his groan. He knows that the best thing that he can do is sit agonizingly in the waiting room for who knows how long. That’s the only thing he can do at this point. But still, that tiny voice in the back of his head causes him to spiral even more into panic.

Why didn’t I pull him out of the way first? This is all my fault. What if he dies?

Wincing, he turns back to the lady, and with a determined look, he sets his hands on the table.

“I’m his fiance,” He declares, lifting his chin higher if that’ll make any difference. “And I saved his life.”

She pauses, mid-chew. Looking over her glasses, she narrows her eyes. And much to Jacob’s great surprise, she shrugs and actually starts typing on the computer. But then again, it’s the dead of night. He’s pretty sure she can’t care less if he’s lying or not.

“Should have said so,” She mutters.

As Jacob rushes through the halls, trying to find Juyeon’s room number, his mind is racing as fast as his footsteps. He has no time to even think about his stupid lie and how he may have committed identity theft as he pushes the door open, his heart sinking at the sight.

Juyeon’s lying in bed, tucked in neatly with IV tubes in his arm. His eyes are shut and Jacob feels a small sense of relief that at least his expression is peaceful. The atmosphere of the room is the least bit homey and Jacob wants nothing more than to bring the man somewhere nicer–lit with warm lighting instead of the fluorescent lamps and adorned with a more cushioned bed.

When he looks to the right, the doctor’s standing there, checking up on his vitals. When she notices the other presence in the room, she looks up and smiles solemnly.

“You’re his fiance, correct?” She approaches him, even looking Jacob over to make sure there are no injuries on him as well.

“No?” Jacob’s confused for a second. But then he quickly corrects himself, stammering profusely. “What? Uh– yes. Yes, I meant.”

Her eyes only softened, probably taking his reaction as shock. 

“Well, if you want to know, which I’m sure you do,” She speaks quietly. “He’s suffered head trauma after the incident. Luckily there weren’t any other injuries. But he is…” She trails off, looking down at her clipboard to confirm once again. “He is in a coma.”

Jacob almost chokes right then and there and he finds himself leaning against the doorway. 

“He’s in a–”

“Coma, yes.” She nods with a small frown. “We don’t know when he’ll wake up. It could be weeks or months. But, he will eventually.”

Jacob breathes out a low sigh. He isn’t quite sure if it’s an ‘oh no, I ruined his life’ kind of sigh or if it’s an ‘at least he’s not dead’ one. But still, his legs feel weak so he bites his lip, looking at the chair set right beside where Juyeon’s lying.

“Can I…?” 

She nods, heading for the door. “Of course, I’ll leave you to it.”

Slowly, as if he’s scared to even approach the man, he sits next to him. He takes note of how pale he looks and the beep of the heart monitor only makes his stomach drop further. Hanging his head low, he leans against the side of the bed, adjusting Juyeon’s hand so it won’t get cold.

“I’m sorry,” He whispers, his voice laced with guilt. “This is all my fault. I… was so used to being just an observer.  If I could have stepped in earlier, you wouldn’t end up like this.”

A small thought occurs in his head. What if Juyeon can hear everything he’s saying? Jacob straightens at that and tries to think positively–say something positive. Maybe that will make him wake up faster.

He ponders for a moment. And then he smiles to himself.

“You know, you’re such a sweetheart.” He sighs fondly. “I’ve noticed all the ways you care for others, even if you don’t know them. I notice a lot of things.” He pauses, laughing softly. “And I don’t know if you know  this but there’s a guy who purposely changed his route just to see you every day. I heard his name’s Changmin.”

His eyes grow droopy and he leans his cheek against the palm of his hand, watching over Juyeon.

“So I hope you wake up soon and see him again.”

Jacob doesn’t know when he fell asleep. All he knows is that he did. It probably wasn’t the most comfortable position as his back now hurts. He also knows that there weren’t people in the room when he had grown drowsy.

But apparently, there are voices now. Blinking his eyes open, he begins to wonder if he’s maybe just in a dream. Except, when he notices his phone ringing with Younghoon’s contact displayed brightly, he’s sure he’s in reality. Why would he dream about Younghoon calling him first thing in the morning? That’s more of a nightmare.

When he lifts his head up, he jerks in his seat when he realizes that there are three pairs of eyes staring right back at him.

Jacob clears his throat and he abruptly stands up. And then he begins to question if he’s in a dream again because those same pairs of eyes tear away from him and back onto Juyeon lying on the bed. Maybe he doesn’t exist in this dream.

Stepping away, he tries to make sense of who these people are. They’re younger. Boys, to be more exact. Except, they didn’t exactly look like teenagers, but more on the ‘I just graduated college’ spectrum.

One, the shortest of all, has puppy-like features as he panics over the sight. He’s rambling as he checks over Juyeon, adjusting each of his limbs to the point that Jacob deems it almost unnecessary. “I heard what happened,” He pleads. “Why you, why you?” He pauses and suddenly gasps. “How am I supposed to get out of dance evaluations now?”

The next one, probably the tallest, steps forward, crossing his arms over his chest and raising an eyebrow. He doesn’t look the oldest though–somewhere in the middle. “Why don’t you just show up?” He asks, his voice completely unbothered. But Jacob can see the worry in his eyes either way. “You have to stop forcing Juyeon hyung to lie so that you get out of them.”

“But they’re scary,” The other whines. 

The taller one sighs, wrapping his arms around him to practically pry him off. “Get off him,” He groans. “He’s resting.”

“Fine,” The shorter grumbles. “When’s he going to wake up though?”

The other’s face falls as he glances over to where Juyeon’s eyes still remain closed. “I… don’t know.”

As they continue to bicker, Jacob creeps over to where he’s left his coat on the nearby table. He’s about to make a run for it and slip away unnoticed because yes, it’s finally dawned on him that he literally lied about being this man’s–whom he barely knows–fiance. He’s sure that’s going to haunt him for the rest of his life.

He’s almost about to creak the door open when the third boy speaks up, stopping him in his tracks. He looks the oldest, more mature than the others. 

“Excuse me?” He calls out. “Are you a nurse by any chance?”

Jacob freezes mid-run. With a pained smile, he turns around, gripping his bag so hard that the fabric digs into his hand. Then he shakes his head profusely.

“Oh, no, I–”

Suddenly, much to his demise, an actual nurse walks in. She looks between everyone present in the room with an excited smile.

“What do you mean?” She speaks up, her voice laced with joy. Jacob wonders if she’s ever learned to read the room. “That’s his fiance of course!” Jacob really needs her to read the room now because she completely ignores his silent pleas to stay quiet. He winces, frantically signaling to her not to continue but– “And he’s the one who saved his life.”

“Well.” The oldest of the three boys looks at him in surprise. There’s a pleasant change in his expression, much to Jacob’s relief. “I wasn’t expecting that.”

“What, that he’s into guys?” The youngest speaks up, his eyes bright. “I’m sure he’s made that pretty clear…”

“No, Eric,” The other shoots back. “That he literally has a fiance and never told us?”

“Oh,” The youngest– Eric breathes. “You’re right.”

Meanwhile, the tallest, peers at Jacob silently. His eyes wander over him suspiciously and for a second, Jacob fears that he’s already caught him in the act. 

He gulps, pulling his lips into yet another painful smile.

“There’s been a misunderstanding. I–”

But suddenly, Eric gasps. “You know what?” He turns to the oldest. “Haknyeon hyung, that’s why he’s been so nervous these days. He’s been trying to tell us this whole time!”

Haknyeon’s eyes widen and he slaps his hand over his mouth. And almost like dominoes, he reaches for the other boy, shaking his arm repeatedly. So much for being the mature one, Jacob wonders. They’re all equally excited and… adorable.

“Sunwoo,” He speaks excitedly. “Don’t you remember the guy on the street that Juyeon hyung mentioned? The one who takes the long way to get to his destination for some reason?”

Sunwoo nods calmly. Jacob facepalms himself, teetering forward in shame. There’s no way he’s being mistaken as Changmin, the guy who actually deserves Juyeon. 

“No,” He groans, stepping forward. “I–”

But quickly, his voice is drowned out by the rambling between Eric and Haknyeon. They sound almost like energetic puppies, yapping on and on about Juyeon’s love life which is now a complete fraud because of Jacob. God, he’s so doomed.

Sunwoo on the other hand, stays quiet. That same fear creeps on Jacob once again. What if he figures out he’s lying and then everyone will hate him? They’ll kick him out and—he can’t check on Juyeon anymore. But, before Jacob can dwell on Sunwoo’s glare and frown any longer, he’s cut off by Eric lunging forward and pulling Jacob into a warm hug. Soon after, Haknyeon joins, their arms wrapped around Jacob tightly as they sway side-to-side.

“Oh,” Jacob breathes, awkwardly putting his arms around them as well. And for just a moment, he feels at home. He finds himself shutting his eyes and smiling softly, feeling like his family is back again. He knows that this is all fake–that this can all disappear in a matter of seconds when the truth is revealed. But for just this moment, short enough that one can even count the number of times the clock ticks, Jacob feels that familiar warmth he’s never experienced for years.

“Thank you,” Eric speaks up first, pulling away to smile brightly at him. “For making our Juyeon hyung happy.”

Haknyeon agrees, grinning warmly. “Lately, he’s been stressed over our upcoming recital and now this happens and–” His face falls slightly. “You must be upset over this too.”

Jacob can only offer a weak smile, his chest blooming with something new. It’s a good feeling this time, rather than the one he feels whenever he looks out the window of his apartment and reminisces on all the memories of being back home with his loved ones.

“It’s okay,” He whispers. “I’ll be waiting for him to wake up.”

Out of nowhere, Sunwoo finally speaks up, breaking the impromptu hug apart. “What’s your name by the way?” And then he lifts his eyebrow, leaning forward as if to try to intimidate Jacob further. It doesn’t really work. “And what do you do for a living?”

Haknyeon scowls and shoves him harshly. “Quit the interrogation.”

“What?” Sunwoo suddenly whines, breaking out of his tough facade for a moment. Jacob finds it all too endearing as he laughs.

“Well, my name is Jacob. And… I’m a music producer, or uh— lyricist.” His voice quiets at the end because the truth is, Jacob’s always been shy about mentioning his passion. But it’s all worth it when he notices people’s eyes light up occasionally. Just like Sunwoo’s do right now.

“Are you really?” His voice lilts up with interest. “I’ve always wanted to be one. Do you think you can check on some of my projects? I–” Jacob can hear Eric snicker in the background over how fast he began to talk. 

“Someone’s getting a bit excited,” He teases, playfully pushing Sunwoo. 

Blushing, Sunwoo grumbles. “Shut up.”

“Still,” Haknyeon wonders to himself. “I can’t believe Juyeon’s had a fiance this whole time…”

“Right!” Eric exclaims. “You’ll have to tell us how you met one day, please .”

And that’s when it hits Jacob so hard that his head starts to pang with a headache. He’s just gotten himself into so much trouble. Lying that he’s this man’s fiance and now convincing his own students that it’s the truth? His breath hitches when it all starts to piece together into some twisted puzzle and he contemplates what the hell he should do.

Of course, the most sensible thing would be to just come clean–tell them the truth. But, Jacob hesitates. He hesitates because when he sees them all smiling and joking around when previously, they were frowning and almost crying over Juyeon, Jacob can’t find it in him to break their hearts further. 

He couldn’t possibly… besides, it’s just a small white lie, is it not? 

Jacob decides to tell them another time.

“When’s Juyeon’s hyung coming?” Sunwoo asks.

Haknyeon sighs. “I called him. He said he’s busy with work but he’ll come by as soon as he can.”

Jacob grimaces. There’s more?

“Oh, and Jacob?” Eric appears by his side. Jacob can’t help but smile endeared, finding the three of them so adorable. Though he’s sure they’re not that much younger than he is, he can tell they have brighter spirits in their hearts.

“Yeah?”

“We’re going to go out for lunch. Want to join?” Eric looks up at him with pleading eyes that Jacob has to fight to resist.

“Oh no, I– I have work,” He mutters.

“That’s fine,” Haknyeon smiles reassuringly. “We’ll see you around then?”

Jacob can only reply with another disgruntled smile.

He bursts through the door of the music studio. He promptly notices the way Younghoon jumps in his chair so abruptly that his headphones fly off his head before launching off into a hysterical-sounding speech.

“I’m sorry I’m late, I know you told me that I’ve already been late three times which means I have to buy you coffee for a week but I’ve just had the craziest night and I think that I’m eternally doomed.” 

Younghoon can only look at him in concern. “Are you okay?” 

“No,” Jacob blurts out loudly. Rushing over to his chair, he sits down in it and puts his head in his hands. “I saved a man’s life.”

“That’s good?” Younghoon throws his hands up in confusion.

“But he’s in a coma. And– I accidentally lied that I’m his fiance.”

“My god,” He breathes. “Did you at least tell the truth after?”

Jacob looks up at him before wincing in guilt. “There were three boys and… they were so happy to find out he’s engaged. So I couldn’t… say.”

Younghoon sighs, leaning an elbow against the desk as he rubs at his temple. “You know, sometimes you’re just too nice for your own good.” Jacob can attest to that. One time, he went out of his way to chase down some random lady’s dropped coin. It rolled into a drain anyway. “You should have just told them the truth.”

“Yeah, but I–” Jacob bites his lip with shame. “I’ve never felt so at home. My apartment always feels cold. So when they treated me so sweetly I…” He hangs his head low, playing with his fingers. “It’s selfish I know. I just want to keep that feeling around. At least for the holidays.”

His friend looks at him with a soft look in his eyes. His stiff shoulders finally sink and he shifts a bit closer. 

“Alright, but don’t complicate things further.”

Jacob nods firmly.

“I won’t.”

As much as Jacob has come to adore the three boys, he severely underestimates how energetic they can be. Whenever he goes to visit Juyeon during the day, at least one of them is there, talking their mouths off to the point that Jacob loses track of the topic. He wonders how they can go from paying bills to… how big whales are. 

They’re so energetic that they never quite introduced themselves the first day they met. Jacob had to use context clues to figure out who’s who.

The oldest of the three, Haknyeon, seems to be the most mature, despite joking around constantly. He’s friendly, always with a soft smile on his face. He’s always the one who brings Jacob snacks, which secretly makes his day.

Sunwoo’s the one who at first, gave off a scary impression. But over just a few days of knowing him, Jacob can tell that he’s just as a sweetheart as the other two. He especially finds his passion for music endearing. He notices the way he peeks over Jacob’s shoulder to see what he’s working on.

Eric, the youngest, reminds Jacob almost like the puppy that he used to take care of back at home. He’s almost always practically bouncing off the walls and he rambles on and on while playfully jesting with whoever’s by his side. It’s almost like it’s his sole duty to put a bright smile similar to his on everyone else’s face.

But despite their fun quirks and adorable habits, Jacob finds himself going to the hospital late at night, just for a moment alone with Juyeon. When he glances at the clock, he huffs at the time displayed. 

3:30 AM

He didn’t think it would be that late. He may or may not have lost track of time because of the lyrics that he’s still barely made any progress on. But at least he’s assured that the three boys are probably asleep by now, meaning the hospital room should be empty.

He sets down his stuff, silently taking a seat next to him. He’s noticed that Juyeon’s gained a bit more color in his complexion. But still, the sight of his eyes shut makes Jacob’s heart sink.

Then he starts talking, his voice quiet.

“It felt lonely walking down that street,” He starts, adjusting the blanket around Juyeon’s torso. He wishes he could tell him if he’s too hot or too cold. “You know that teenager? The one who’s always getting into detention? Even he asked where you were.” He bites the inside of his cheek nervously. “I know I’m not the best fake fiance, but I’ll try my best. We all miss you.”

A click registers in Jacob’s ear and he jumps slightly before turning to the door that’s creaked open. The lights are off except for one lamp so at first, Jacob thinks it’s just a nurse making rounds. But when he stands up, he’s hit with the sudden realization that this nurse is unusually tall and also very oddly dressed in a police uniform.

His hair is just the slightest bit tousled and it’s very clear that he has a stern look on his face, even if Jacob can’t fully make out his features. The armored vest on his lean upper body sits on his broad shoulders and his badge flashes menacingly. 

Jacob swallows thickly. Did he lie so much to the point that he’s getting arrested?

But when he steps forward, that’s when it suddenly dawns on him. There’s always been that one person that the three boys talk about who’s yet to visit Juyeon. This man must be the older brother. 

“Ah,” The man speaks up, lips curling up in an odd, not-so-friendly way. Even his tone is on the sarcastic side. “You must be the fiance.”

Jacob gulps, stepping backward when he notices the way he looms over him. “Yes, I’m–”

“And you saved his life?” He looks him over.

He silently nods.

And much to Jacob’s surprise, his face softens. Under better lighting, Jacob can observe his features better. His gaze looks almost gentle now and he has a small frown on his lips. “Then I’m grateful,” He softly speaks, stepping closer to the bed to check over Juyeon. He sighs, running a hand through his hair. “This is–” He cuts himself by his own wobbly voice.

Jacob’s heart sinks further. 

“I’m sorry.” He feels the need to apologize. “This must be a hard sight to see.”

“Yeah well,” The man laughs bitterly. “It could be worse.” He holds up his police badge. “I’ve seen worse.”

Jacob offers a weak smile.

The man straightens up, stretching slightly. He must have only recently finished work with how tired he looks right now. 

“Can you check for my delivery on the table? I have to check if they got the right order.” He motions behind Jacob. He nods and turns around, only for him to stare dumbly at the sight. He’s never noticed just how many bouquets and boxes were stacked here. He turns around, fidgeting awkwardly.

The man only stares.

“It should have my name.”

“Your…” Jacob trails off. He’s about to just ask what his name is but that’s when he realizes why the three boys never actually introduced themselves and why he should automatically be aware of his older brother’s name. He’s Juyeon’s fiance. He should already know.

The man eyes him suspiciously, leaning forward slightly. “You do know my name, right?”

Jacob squeaks, his eyes landing everywhere– anywhere where he can get a clue. And just like he’s been saved, he notices the coffee cup that he’s set down nearby with a name written in big, bold letters. Jacob wonders how he deserves to be so lucky. 

“Jaehyun!” He exclaims. “Jaehyun, yes. Sorry, it’s late.”

“Hm,” Jaehyun only hums quietly. When Jacob hands him the box, he peers inside and then he groans with frustration. When Jacob only looks at him in confusion, he shakes his head. “I asked for a cat collar, not a dog leash. By the way, what’s his new cat’s name going to be? Has he decided yet?”

Jacob bites down on his tongue to contain the frustrated sound that threatens to escape his throat. This man is very hard to lie to. 

“Uh, I– Lucy?”

“Huh.” He eyes him briefly. “I remember him telling me that he was definitely going to name it after one of the characters from The Office. But then again, apparently he’s full of surprises.” And after speaking that sentence, he looks Jacob over, eyeing him in an incomprehensible way.

That’s when Jacob’s panic only grows and he takes a step forward, only to backtrack once again because this man still seems to tower over him. 

But shortly after and just like before, Jaehyun’s demeanor softens. His voice becomes gentle and there’s a small, fond smile on his lips. “Usually, he tells me everything since I’m all he’s got. But, I guess he’s not the little boy that I’m so used to,” He explains.

Jacob raises an eyebrow. He finds it interesting that Jaehyun talks about his younger brother almost like he’s raised him.

“How much older are you exactly?” 

Jaehyun coughs, adjusting his vest. “Two years.”

“Oh wow,” Jacob playfully remarks, eyeing him with amusement. 

“Hey.” Jaehyun shoots him a slightly embarrassed glare. “You of all people should know I’m very protective.” Jacob’s about to rush to refute that claim but Jaehyun interrupts him again–this time with a growing look of shock on his face. “Wait, if you’re his fiance…”

Jacob feels sweat accumulating on his forehead, even in this cold hospital room under the winter sky. He knows, he knows, he knows that I’m lying–

“Did he tell you about the time in college when I…” He cuts himself off with a cough, breaking eye contact with growing bashfulness.

Jacob first breathes out a relieved sigh. And then his eyes sparkle mischievously. “No, but what did you do?”

Again, Jaehyun coughs. It seems like that’s his only strategy of desperately trying to change the topic. It doesn’t really work. 

“Nothing,” He stutters.

Jacob laughs but chooses not to dwell on it. The more conversations he holds with Jaehyun, the closer he’ll get to finding the inevitable truth. Jacob doesn’t know how to feel about that. Horrible, maybe? Probably like one of those sad ballad songs he’s written in the past. 

And so, reaching forward to pick up his coat, he’s about to say his goodbyes and get out. But, his eyes catch onto the sight from the window. The previous snow flurries have grown into heavy pouring of thick, white powder. That’s when he freezes, knowing that he probably won’t make it to the train on time.

He sighs, muttering to himself, “How do I get home now?”

Jaehyun must have a really good hearing because he’s already stepping forward. Jacob peeks up at him before grumbling over how obnoxiously tall Juyeon’s family genes must be.

“I can drive you,” He offers.

“Oh, no.” Jacob shakes his head profusely. “That’s okay, I can just–”

“I insist.” Jaehyun looks at him firmly. Jacob internally groans. He’ll never get used to being near a police officer. He’s intimidating to the point that Jacob feels the need to pull out all of his tax bills to prove that he pays them on time. But then again, he brought this upon himself.

And so now, Jacob finds him in a car. It’s sleek and clean, black on the outside, and light brown leather for the interior. He peers around for a bit before leaning back in the passenger seat, sleepiness suddenly overtaking him. 

When Jaehyun starts the car, Jacob mumbles a quiet, “I thought this would be a police car.”

“Hey, I took off work.” Jaehyun playfully glares at him. Jacob chuckles, sitting forward as he watches Jaehyun drive effortlessly, even through the blinded view of snow. But of course, he’s probably been trained for this. Just as Jacob’s about to doze off for just a moment, Jaehyun speaks up again. “So, how did you two meet?” He looks at him briefly before turning back to the road.

Jacob’s mind blanks, much akin to the feeling he gets when trying to write a love song. He desperately tries to think of a story on the spot. One that isn’t too out-of-this-world, but also one that isn’t too cliche.

“At the ice cream shop?” Jacob curses at himself for making his reply sound more like a question.

Jaehyun raises an eyebrow. “Juyeon’s lactose intolerant.”

He is? Jacob grimaces, sitting up awkwardly. “Oh, I–”

But then Jaehyun chuckles, while he flips the turn signal onto the road that leads to Jaehyun’s apartment. “Just kidding.” He smirks. “We both know his favorite flavor is strawberry.”

Jacob can only force out a weak laugh.

“And you’ve met the three musketeers?” Jaehyun brakes at the red light, taking the opportunity to turn to Jacob, giving him his undivided attention.

“The three… what?” Jacob stares at him in confusion.

“That’s what I call them. Mischievious boys,” He sighs.

“You’re right,” Jacob laughs fondly, briefly recalling the amount of times they simply shoved each other for the fun of it. “They’re adorable though.”

“Can’t say I agree.” Jaehyun gives him an unimpressed look before he starts driving again. “Looks-wise, maybe. But they prank me all the time to the point that my chief yelled at me for showing up late. All because they decided to pour a bucket of ice-cold water on me.”

Jacob snorts. “It means they like you.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Jaehyun replies. “And mostly because I’m related to Juyeon. He’s their dance teacher if you didn’t know already.”

“Ah…” Jacob clears his throat nervously. “Of– of course I know.”

Jaehyun looks at him before huffing out a quiet laugh. “Alright, fiance privileges.”

Jacob looks to desperately change the subject again. He can’t just continue to claim that he knows everything about Juyeon simply because he’s his pretend fiance. That has to be some sort of breach of privacy.

“So!” He suddenly exclaims, slightly startling Jaehyun. “What was the thing that you did in college?”

“Oh,” The man groans, rolling his eyes with an embarrassed smile. “I was hoping you wouldn’t bring that up.”

“Tell me,” Jacob laughs.

“I–” He sighs, pulling in front of Jacob’s apartment. “Well it was around this time of the year and… there was a mistletoe.” Again, he effortlessly parks to the side. But Jacob’s more focused on the story that Jaehyun’s telling rather than the fact that he can easily escape from his evergrowing lies right at the moment. Instead, he chooses to tread farther–become closer to his protective brother.

“Oh was there?” He looks at him slyly. “And who did you kiss?”

“That’s the thing,” Jaehyun huffs out. “I kissed no one. I mean, I was about to kiss my crush.”

“And why didn’t you?”

Jaehyun puts the car in park, turning to Jacob with a loud rustle of his uniform. “I remembered that there was a new Iron Man movie that had just released and I may have… pushed him away to buy tickets to the theater.”

“Oh my god. I didn’t take you to be a nerd.”

“And you don’t know how glad I am that Juyeon hasn’t notified you,” Jaehyun breathes, running a hand through his hair with a tired sigh. But still, there’s a kind smile on his face, embarrassed sure, but also almost like he’s… having fun with Jacob. “Minus the whole policeman look I’ve got going on, yes, I am a huge nerd.”

Jacob laughs softly and he silently takes the time to admire Jaehyun’s features further now that the nearby streetlights properly illuminate them. He really is a good-looking man. Gentle eyes, a perfectly shaped nose, an even gentler smile–if Jacob were to write a song about an angel, he would use Jaehyun’s face as a visual reference. Especially, Jacob likes it when he’s being mischievous and playful. He likes the teasing sparkle in his eyes and the upturned corner of his lips. 

He sees some sort of resemblance between him and Juyeon, but he finds that they mostly look different. Juyeon has sharper features while Jaehyun lacks those harsher lines. Though their personalities are almost the opposite of what their features would indicate. Juyeon is the more soft-spoken one while Jaehyun, as Jacob observed, likes to speak his mind, outright and clearly. 

Jacob has to tear his eyes away from the siblings’ mesmerizing physical genes before he looks weird. When he turns away to look out the window, he just remembers that they’re parked in front of his apartment and that Jaehyun’s waiting for him to exit patiently.

He clears his throat with slight embarrassment. “Thank you for driving me.”

“Anytime.” Jaehyun smiles, leaning an arm against the steering wheel, only for him to accidentally honk it loudly in the dead of night. He jumps cutely and laughs to himself. Jacob watches with a small smile. Though intimidating at first, much like Sunwoo, he seems more of a sweetheart than he originally lets off.

Jacob feels the need to add more. “You didn’t have to.”

Jaehyun shakes his head. “You’re my brother’s fiance after all.”

Ah, that memory finally flickers back into his head. Jacob isn’t just being dropped off by a perfectly handsome man, but rather he’s being driven out of politeness by his fake fiance’s older brother. Jacob wonders what his life’s come to.

"Right, yeah,” Jacob mutters, nervously. 

At that point, he sees the way Jaehyun’s looking at him like he’s genuinely the one who makes Juyeon happy when in fact, they’ve only exchanged a few “hello’s.” Jacob contemplates just telling him right there and right now. All of this confusion and anxiousness would go away and he wouldn’t be so caught up in a lie.

Instead, though, Jacob holds his breath because when he sees the way Jaehyun smiles so nicely as compared to the stoned face he held when he first walked into the hospital room, he just can’t bring himself to.

Maybe another day, he tells himself. But he knows that “day” probably won’t come anytime soon.

“You know you can’t keep doing this,” Younghoon sighs, leaning back in his chair and very clearly radiating tension. He shouldn’t even be the stressed one yet he’s practically driving himself crazy being stressed for Jacob.

“I know…” Jacob gives him a guilty look. “But you should have seen the way they all smiled. I can’t tell the truth now.”

Younghoon looks at him in disbelief.

“Yeah, I guess. But– what’s his name?” He sits up, tilting his head to think for a moment. Then he snaps his fingers in realization. “Juyeon! Juyeon. He’s going to be so, so confused and distraught when he wakes up. You know that.”

“I do know that,” Jacob groans. He opens his mouth, only for a breath of silence to leave his lips. He huffs, “And– I don’t have a response to that.”

“Wow.” Younghoon raises his eyebrows. “You’re being incredibly helpful right no–” He cuts himself off when he notices that Jacob’s standing up and packing up his things. It is past work hours but it’s usually Younghoon who leaves first while Jacob stays back to finish up his lyrics. “What are you doing? Where are you going?”

Jacob freezes, looking like a man who just saw a ghost.

“The winter festival at the park.”

“You never go to those.”

“Well… I was…” He grimaces, looking down at his shoes. “I was invited by three people.”

Younghoon crosses his arms over his chest and raises an eyebrow. “Those three people?”

“No, not at all.” Jacob puts on his best puppy-dog impression as he pouts, only for Younghoon to stare back, indifferent. Ultimately, he sighs, defeated. “Yes. Those three boys.”

Before Younghoon can even protest, Jacob’s out the door, checking his watch, only to silently yelp at the fact that he’s definitely going to be arriving late. He hooks his bag over one shoulder to pull on his coat sleeve, stumbling down the stairs at the same time and repeats the process on the other side, his scarf held in between his teeth. 

He blinks profusely once he’s out on the street, the afternoon sun bright but barely providing any warmth in the cold winter weather. He properly wraps his scarf around his neck, adjusts his bag, and starts running down the sidewalk in the direction of the park. He weaves through the bewildered crowd, waits patiently at the incredibly long traffic light, and finally finds himself at the entrance of the snow-decorated park.

It’s appropriately decorated for the holidays, with Christmas lights strewn across the large trees and red ribbons tied around the street lights. There are kids playing snowball fights in the background and the smell of cinnamon is somehow evident in the air.

When he catches eye with Eric who must have been actively looking for him, the younger waves excitedly. Sunwoo and Haknyeon follow suit.

“We thought you couldn’t make it!” Eric whines, pulling him into a tight hug.

“Sorry,” Jacob laughs, completely endeared. “Work was… a lot today.”

Sunwoo’s excitement only grows further. “Really? What did you work on?”

“Well, I wrote the lyrics to a refrain while my co-worker did the instrumental,” Jacob quietly explains. He still can’t help but feel shy when talking about his work.

The boy’s eyes sparkle even brighter. “Can you show me one day?”

Jacob smiles warmly, patting his shoulder. “Of course. I can even show you the ropes.”

He can see that Sunwoo’s practically brimming with excitement while Eric snickers behind his back. Haknyeon interrupts the silence with a solemn sigh. 

“If only Juyeon were here to see the view.”

It was a view alright. The snow was bright and beautiful, almost crystallizing. The sky was clear and the nearby river, though frozen, shone prettily. The air feels sharp but only results in gentle vapor when Jacob breathes out with contentment. 

“Remember when he stopped dance practice just to bring us here last year?” Eric pouts.

“The hot cocoa,” Haknyeon reminisces with sad eyes.

“The badly made snowman,” Sunwoo adds quietly.

And just like they were perfectly in sync, which they basically always are the more Jacob gets to know them, they all sigh gloomily, shoulders sinking. Jacob’s eyes soften, wanting nothing more than to gain the magical power to heal and wake Juyeon right that second. Just the sight of their small frowns causes his heart to break into multiple, frozen pieces, much like the snowflakes that flutter from the sky. Except, considerably less graceful.

Their frowns stay there for a while. Well, up until–

“What’s with the gloomy mood?” Jaehyun appears out of nowhere. The three boys startle before cheering loudly and tackling him into a hug. Jacob stands by the side, watching fondly. He notices that Jaehyun’s out of his uniform, now dressed in a warm, dark-colored coat. He also notices that his hair is a lot less straight than before, more on the curly side. 

“Jaehyun hyung! How come you didn’t stop by the hospital?” Eric rambles brightly, his frown long gone. “And did you know that Juyeon hyung has a fiance?”

Jaehyun laughs, eyes crinkling. Jacob can’t help but admire his smile.

“Of course I did. You were the one who told me.” Jaehyun looks at him with confusion. “And I did meet him recently. When I stopped by the hospital.” He gives Eric a knowing look.

“You did?” Haknyeon tilts his head.

Jaehyun nods. “Though I should’ve met you earlier.” He turns his attention to Jacob whose breath hitches. He narrows his eyes and Jacob’s already expecting his downfall. But yet again, he somehow survives. “I guess Juyeon has his secrets,” He simply continues, shrugging.

Jacob watches silently as Jaehyun chats with Haknyeon and Sunwoo. There’s a content smile on his face as he talks about recent incidents he’s witnessed while on duty–stuff like how a kind old lady accidentally stole a chocolate bar because she thought it was free. Jacob furrows his eyebrows slightly, wondering just how he can be so calm in this situation. He knows that it’s the holidays and there are good emotions all around, but to have a younger brother injured…

And it seems that Eric must be thinking the exact same thing.

“Hyung!” He pops up from behind Jaehyun’s broad shoulders, yelling loudly. 

“Right in my ear?” Jaehyun groans, rubbing at it. 

Still, Eric ignores his complaints as he gives him a pitiful frown. 

“You asked about the mood but shouldn’t you be the gloomy one? You’re literally related to Juyeon,” He says, clinging onto one of Jaehyun’s arms.

Jaehyun only offers a small smile, pulling Eric into a warm side hug. “I’ll be alright.” While the three boys believe his words right away and clamber off to explore further into the winter festival with all its colorful stands and mini-games, Jacob picks up on the slight change in demeanor. He notices the way Jaehyun’s eyes sadden at the thought of Juyeon and the quiet sigh he lets out.

Now that the two of them are left alone, they have nothing left to do but follow after the three boys, walking side-by-side. Jacob is quiet for the most part as he’s half panicking and half enjoying the winter view. Jaehyun’s silent too, though he occasionally alerts Jacob of a slippery patch of ice which he’s very grateful for. He can’t afford to make a fool out of himself in front of this sort of intimidating man.

But suddenly, Jaehyun stops to stare at one of the stands. There are various stuffed animals stacked up for sale. It’s mostly empty, except for one girl who seems to be asking her mom to buy her the penguin wearing a Christmas hat.

“That reminds me of Juyeon,” Jaehyun speaks up, smiling softly. “Don’t you agree?” But much to Jacob’s demise, he doesn’t point to which one. He just eyes the pile of stuffed animals. Jacob gulps thickly, his brain short-circuiting as he tries to figure out which damn animal he’s talking about right now.

Jacob winces at his own voice. “Which… which one?”

Jaehyun looks at him with growing suspicion. “You should know.”

Jacob smiles painfully as he peers at the array of animals. Quickly, he pictures Juyeon’s face. He remembers the lip tails that curl up and his sharp eyes–much like a cat.

“The cat!” He suddenly blurts out, pointing at the gray cat that’s smiling and holding a candy cane. “R-right, of course.”

Jaehyun only raises an eyebrow but continues walking. For now, Jacob thinks he’s safe. He tries to avoid Jaehyun’s eyes though, scared that if he looks closely enough, he’ll see a big liar. Because well, that’s what he is. 

But of course, he must be catching on because the next time Jaehyun speaks, he asks, “What’s Juyeon’s favorite food?”

Damn it. Jacob internally groans, faltering in his steps. That’s the worst question one can ever ask. He rarely ever sees Juyeon eating food. Except–Jacob straightens in revelation–that one time he overheard him ordering on his phone.

“Chinese takeout,” He confidently answers.

Jaehyun smirks and he even makes a small sound as if to hold in his laugh.

“Chinese takeout,” He repeats with a sarcastic tone. “That’s only when he’s short on time after practice. What’s his favorite homecooked meal?”

Jacob shuts his eyes and contemplates digging a hole in the snow and crawling in it. Jaehyun continues to stare at him intently. This is it, Jacob thinks. The day has come that he’ll tell the truth and go back to being alone.

“Actually, I…” Jacob sighs. “I’m not–”

But suddenly, Haknyeon appears behind the two of them. He looks out of breath and there are flakes of snow in his hair. They must be having a snowball fight.

“You guys look so boring and grown-up,” He groans. “Liven up a little!” He winks and he runs away before Sunwoo can smack him in the face with a ball of snow.

The two of them force a smile as they face each other. Jacob finds the tension to be incredibly painful. Once they’re sure that Haknyeon or really any of the other boys are out of view, Jaehyun takes a deep breath before speaking in a low voice.

“Are you…” He narrows his eyes, tilting his head slightly. “...sure you’re–”

Jacob accepts his defeat, his shoulders falling. “Look, I–”

“You know what?” Jaehyun shakes his head. “I shouldn’t doubt you. That’s wrong of me.”

God, now Jacob wants to build an igloo and live in it forever until he freezes to death. Every time he even comes close to fessing up, he’s cut off. He could just deny it anyway and tell the truth but the selfish side of Jacob wants to keep the secret for just a bit longer. 

But still, Younghoon’s words ring in his ear. You can’t keep doing this.

And so, gathering all his courage, Jacob steps closer. 

“Jaehyun,” He whispers, almost helplessly. “I have to tell you that—”

“You’re the boy that Juyeon’s been talking about for a while? I know.”

Again it happens, Jacob stares in conflict.

Jaehyun grins teasingly. “He said that he’s been thinking about a certain someone. It must be you.”

That's Changmin.

Jacob bites his lip. There are alarms going off in his brain to tell Jaehyun that this is wrong– all wrong. But instead, as much as he hates it, he forces out a small, “mhm!” Younghoon’s going to hate him after this.

Jaehyun smiles softly, bumping his shoulder with his as they make their way closer to the frozen lake where kids are ice-skating and giggling.

“Does he treat you well?”

Jacob nods, smiling shyly. “He does. He’s a sweetheart.” Great, now he’s getting too into the role of being his flustered, very in-love fiance.

“Good,” Jaehyun breathes out a sigh of relief. He looks out to the view, a solemn look on his face. Jacob can’t help but wonder how a man can be so handsome while frowning. “I taught him to treat you well. Ever since we were young boys actually.” His voice goes quiet.

Jacob watches him carefully, his eyes softening.

“Jaehyun?”

“Yeah?”

“Are you okay?” 

Jaehyun freezes, glancing at him before looking back down. “I don’t… know.”

Jacob looks up at him, observing the way the light behind his eyes dulls ever so slightly. The rosiness of his cheeks has disappeared into a tone more pale that indicates something–fear.

“You don’t have to be alright,” He whispers.

“But I am.” But Jacob can hear the way his voice wavers ever so slightly. That’s when it all makes sense in that moment. Jaehyun, the oldest of the three boys, the older brother of Juyeon, is trying his best to stay strong in this situation when he should be the one to be the most worried.

“But you pretend.” Jacob frowns. “He’s your younger brother. You’re allowed to feel scared and upset.”

“I can’t,” Jaehyun insists, looking at him with a slight glare in his expression. Jacob pauses, retracting the hand that was about to find its way to his shoulder.

“Why not?”

“Because I practically raised him,” Jaehyun snaps, his jaw clenching. “I’m only two years older but it’s still me who has that responsibility. Our parents aren’t–” His breath hitches. “They aren’t here anymore. They haven’t been for a while now. We grew up alone.”

Jacob’s eyes widen and he takes a step forward, only for Jaehyun to take one back.

“Jaehyun,” He breathes.

“So of course I hold that weight. I should have been the one to protect him, hell that’s my legal job anyway,” He speaks faster and louder. The smooth chill of the air begins to feel like it’s biting at Jacob’s cheeks instead. “I don’t want to show him that I was worried when he wakes up. If he wakes up.”

Jacob’s heart thumps in his chest.

“He will wake up,” He tries to reassure him.

“And what if he doesn’t?”

Now it’s Jacob’s turn to go quiet. 

Jaehyun sighs, running a hand through his hair before turning around.

“I have to go.” 

And without a goodbye, he leaves. He leaves Jacob to stand in the midst of the winter weather, shivering and filled with regret. He leaves Jacob to feel that familiar loneliness take over that previously filled gap in his heart.

A few days later, Jacob walks out of work. And yes, Younghoon gave him a huge scolding for keeping up the lie. He knows that he shouldn’t have interfered and caused Jaehyun more pain than he’s already experiencing. But, every time he goes to the hospital to apologize, he’s not there. It’s always Eric, Sunwoo, and Haknyeon who are completely oblivious to what happened.

As he turns the corner, he bumps straight into a firm chest. It’s not just firm, but armored by a police vest. Immediately, Jacob recognizes the uniform.

“Oh my god,” He breathes, putting a gloved hand over his chest. “You scared me.” He looks up, coming face-to-face with Jaehyun’s still handsome face. He stares back, a small smirk on his lips.

But then he stiffens, an awkward smile replacing that same smirk. 

“Hi, Juyeon’s fiance.”

Jacob scowls, adjusting his bag and coat as the winter breeze hits his face harshly. “I have a name,” He grumbles.

“Sorry, sorry,” Jaehyun chuckles. For a second, Jacob questions if this interaction is just happening because Jaehyun’s on patrol around this area. He wonders if, after this greeting, they’ll go back to avoiding each other and being painfully awkward. But when there’s a voice that sounds through his walkie-talkie and Jaehyun promptly lowers the volume to turn his attention back to Jacob, that’s when he freezes in surprise.

He clears his throat. 

“How do you know where I work?” 

Jaehyun gulps and Jacob can see that his ears have even tinted red.

“I asked Sunwoo.”

“Oh.” Jacob crosses his arms over his chest, giving him an amused look. “So you wanted to find me.”

By now, the tint on his ears has spread to his cheeks. Jacob bites back a smile, finding a flustered Jaehyun a refreshing sight to look at. 

“I did want to find you,” He finally confirms. “To apologize.”

Jacob blinks. “For what?”

Jaehyun frowns. “For coming off rude the other day. Where are you heading?” 

“To the bookstore on Madison Avenue,” Jacob replies, still in a trance over the fact that Jaehyun’s the one to apologize. Jacob feels as though it’s his fault.

“I’m headed there too.” Jaehyun grins.

“Are you really?” Jacob smiles at him teasingly, nudging him with his shoulder.

Jaehyun sighs, giving him a guilty look. “No, not really. But I need to talk to you.”

And so, as they’re walking towards the train station, Jacob allows him to take a small breath of relief. For a moment–actually a few days –he was convinced that Jaehyun hated his guts. It’s still silent, but at least it’s rid of tension.

Jaehyun sighs, breaking the quiet.

“I’m sorry,” He begins, glancing at Jacob. “You were right. I was… I was pretending too much and it was immature of me to snap at you. You’re his fiance and you must be feeling similar.”

Jacob smiles, shaking his head insistently. “No, no, I get it. You grew up with him. And you raised him which, kudos to you,” Jacob tilts his head in admiration. Jaehyun’s cheeks redden once again. “I know it must have been hard to.”

Jaehyun stares at him in slight shock before he smiles charmingly.

“I’m glad that you’re his fiance,” He says out of nowhere, catching Jacob completely off guard. But either way, Jacob finds himself laughing bashfully, even if it’s a complete lie.

“I’m… glad too,” He muses.

Jaehyun smirks. “Is he a good kisser?”

And now Jacob’s cheeks are flushing and he chokes on his own spit. “That’s a subjective opinion.”

“You’re right.” Jaehyun nods. “A boring answer though,” He adds as they board the train. Since it’s around the holidays, more people take off work meaning the seats are mostly empty which Jacob is very fond of. It’s easy for them to choose a place to sit together and this time, instead of succumbing to silence, they talk about random topics.

Just as they’re in the debate of whether eggnog tastes good or not, Jaehyun suddenly speaks with a serious tone.

“Jacob.”

“Hm?” He turns to him after picking a thread off his coat.

“What made you fall for him?” He asks, giving him a sly look.

Jacob face-palms himself. Both physically, which makes Jaehyun laugh loudly, and mentally because he dreads this question. He doesn’t know Juyeon like that. He’s not close enough to say something about a cute habit or a quirk in his personality. And so, instead, Jacob goes with the safest answer.

“His smile,” He replies.

Jaehyun hums. “Simple but understandable. Nothing else?” He wiggles his eyebrows. Jacob huffs out a laugh. Jaehyun really is the epitome of an older brother–protective and curious about a life that isn’t his own.

“I’m not telling you,” Jacob playfully responds, scrunching his nose. Jaehyun laughs.

“So would you like my smile too?” And to demonstrate, he gives Jacob a soft smile. He doesn’t know why, but he feels his heart beat just a bit faster at the sight.

Jacob stares at him for a second, part to create suspense and part because he’s very enamored by Jaehyun’s beautiful features.

Ultimately, he responds, “You may be brothers, but you don’t have the same smile.”

“Really?” Jaehyun widens his eyes. “So what’s my smile like?”

Jacob thinks for a second. It would be too simple to describe his smile in a physical way since everyone smiles similarly–a tug of their lips whenever they feel happy. It would also be too weird to blurt out what Jacob really wants to say which… he refuses to disclose at the moment. Just know it has something to do with I would kiss you if I wasn’t in a fake engagement with your younger brother.

And so finally, Jacob opts for an entirely different approach.

“Warm,” He says. “Like the star on top of the Christmas tree.”

Jaehyun’s smile only grows at his words. 

“Poetic,” He remarks.

Jacob rolls his eyes and shrugs. “I write lyrics.”

“Oh right,” Jaehyun gives him a look, one that makes Jacob want to shy away. His eyes are filled with admiration as he looks at Jacob with utmost fondness. “Sunwoo mentioned. That’s amazing.”

Jacob’s cheeks start to feel warm. One of his sole weaknesses when it comes to compliments, is when they talk about his music or passion. Something about it makes his heart bloom like a flame in the fireplace.

“Thank you,” He mumbles, looking away to hide his reddening cheeks. As his eyes land on the pair of earphones, clumped and tangled in his bag, that’s when he suddenly sits up with wide eyes. Jaehyun startles and is immediately looking him over.

“Are you–”

“I forgot to listen to the new demo,” Jacob gasps. “Younghoon’s going to kill me.” He recalls the last time he forgot. He attempted to lie to Younghoon that he did listen to it but when he was asked what he thought of the instrumental, Jacob replied that he liked the electric guitar. It was a ballad.

“Oh.” Jaehyun blinks–which Jacob frankly thinks is kind of adorable when he’s clueless about something. “So how do you…”

Jacob smiles, pulling out and untangling the wired earphones. “I can do it now. If you don’t mind.”

Jaehyun nods. “Go ahead.”

Plugging them into his ears, Jacob allows himself to get lost in the world of music, his favorite aspect of life. Whoever came up with music is a genius and if he could, he would bake that person a million cupcakes, preferably with red and green sprinkles on top to match the holidays.

As he takes note of the different elements of the song–the beat, melody, and anaphora in the lyrics–Jacob watches the view fly by in the window. The various buildings and people bustling about, trying to find a gift for their loved ones is the view that Jacob adores.

He takes a look at Jaehyun. He assumed that he would be on his phone to keep himself busy but instead, he’s almost awkwardly playing with his fingers as he adjusts himself in his seat. The police uniform must be uncomfortable. Jacob smiles softly and he pulls off one earphone.

“Are you bored?” He asks, startling the man out of his thoughts. 

Jaehyun smiles shyly. “I can’t use my phone. Motion sickness.”

“So do you play with your fingers everytime you’re traveling to work?” Jacob laughs.

The other scoffs, shaking his head. “I usually have my own earphones to listen to music but they…” He frowns. “They fell in the snow.”

“Ah,” Jacob acknowledges. He picks up his phone and puts on a classic Christmas song, one that everyone would know. And then he offers the earphone that he took off to Jaehyun, tilting his chin down with a smile. “Want to join?”

Jaehyun chuckles, taking it and putting it into his ear. He shifts ever so closer so that their shoulders are touching. And in order to accommodate their slight height difference, Jaehyun leans down a bit.

“Thank you,” He whispers before Jacob turns up the volume. And so they sit together. They watch the view together. And together, they hum the chorus with calm hearts.

“So he approves of you?” Younghoon asks, crossing his arms over his chest. Jacob had just finished telling him the whole story and it seems that this whole situation is like the best drama Younghoon’s ever watched. All throughout, he kept getting interrupted by an “oh my god” or a “no way.”

“He does,” Jacob proudly replies, smiling widely.

“And you like him?” He lifts an eyebrow.

“Of course I do. He’s Juyeon’s brother.”

“Not that type of like.” He gives him a knowing look, smiling mischievously.

It takes Jacob a moment to realize what he means. But then it hits him and he sits up straight, his shoulders rigid. Oh. 

He grabs a nearby pillow and throws it straight into Younghoon’s face, making him yelp. But at least that’ll distract him from Jacob’s very red cheeks. “No!” He exclaims. “I do not.”

Younghoon huffs, fixing his disheveled hair as he sets the pillow beside him. He leans forward in his chair, propping his elbows on his thighs.

“You don’t find him even an ounce attractive?”

Jacob groans, covering his face with his hands. Why is he so flustered?

“He’s alright. Plus, he thinks that I’m about to marry his brother. I can’t like him either way,” He mutters, his expression falling.

Younghoon hums, toying with a pencil that seems to magically appear in his hand. Or maybe Jacob’s just been too distracted by the image of Jaehyun’s soft smile in his mind to notice. 

“You know,” His friend starts. “It would be a lot less complicated if you just told the truth.”

Jacob bites the inside of his cheek nervously. “I can’t. What if he arrests me for being a liar?”

Younghoon snorts, “That’s not– where are you going now?”

Jacob freezes, mid-way into packing his computer and notebook into his worn-out bag. He tries to back away and avoid the question as he puts on his coat but when Younghoon stares him down, he really stares him down. Jacob’s never not been intimidated.

He bites his lip and looks away.

“To meet him,” He says, incredibly quietly in hopes of his answer going unnoticed. But it becomes very noticeable as Younghoon sits up, staring at him in disbelief.

“You’re what?”

“He invited me!” Jacob whines. “I don’t know why but how could I reject him?” And then he’s clutching his shoulder bag and turning around, rushing out the door. Younghoon just stares after him, mouth agape before he sits back down, and with a scoff, he brings his hands up to his face and drags them down in distress.

Jaehyun asked Jacob to meet at the park right next to the river. The one right next to his apartment. It’s a beautiful day, icicles sparkling as they hang off the leafless trees. Luckily, Jacob’s dressed warmly for the bitterly cold weather. He doesn’t know what he would do without his scarf and warm coat.

As he walks down the trail, he catches sight of Jaehyun, also dressed cozily. He must be off duty as his hair is curly again and he’s out of uniform. He catches a glimpse of a large box in his hands, only for it to disappear behind his back when he notices Jacob approaching. He smiles softly, his eyes sparkling.

“Hi Jacob,” He greets him with an excited look.

“Hi,” Jacob laughs. “What’d you call me here for?”

Jaehyun chuckles to himself. Jacob really admires how he looks. Though he’s mentioned it before, he can’t help but marvel at how his broad shoulders still seem to be evident over his thick overcoat. Of course, he would be fit because of his job but he also just has amazing proportions. Long legs, pretty hands, and… a gorgeous face. Much like Juyeon but for some reason, it’s Jaehyun who makes Jacob nervous.

“Well…” He begins before he pulls out that same box from behind. “I wanted to get you a belated engagement gift.” It’s big and it looks heavy, even with Jaehyun’s strength–which, Jacob figured out is a large reason behind his hugs being very firm and comforting. 

“Oh,” Jacob breathes, peering at it with nervousness. “You really didn’t have to,” He laughs anxiously. He fidgets and shifts on his feet. This is all fake. Should he accept this? Maybe he’ll just return it after he tells the truth. It would be too selfish to keep it. Or maybe he should just take the easy route and deny it. 

“Of course I have to,” Jaehyun replies softly with a kind smile. “Just make sure to invite me as best man for the wedding.” He even adds a playful wink which normally, Jacob wouldn’t care about. But instead, he feels his cheeks flush.

“Will do,” Jacob laughs. Then, he stares at him shyly before scrunching his nose and making a move to pick up the box into his arms. Except to his surprise, Jaehyun pulls back, holding the box closer to his own body. 

When Jacob stares at him with confusion, Jaehyun shakes his head and explains, “It’s heavy.”

“Oh?” Jacob smiles curiously. “What is it?”

“Surprise,” Jaehyun leans forward and whispers. Jacob huffs out in disappointment which only makes Jaehyun grin wider. And this time, Jacob feels a little lightheaded at the sight of his smile. It’s so… nice-looking. Jacob can’t even find the right word to describe it. And he’s a lyricist.

Jaehyun glances backward and turns back to Jacob. “I’ll walk you home and you can open it there.” 

Jacob raises his eyebrows in surprise. He even remembers where he lives even after driving through that snowstorm the first day they met.

“Okay,” He whispers, suddenly feeling even more embarrassed.

His small apartment is only a short walk yet the two of them still manage to fit in a few conversations. Jaehyun asks about his work and Jacob finally gets the chance to ask him how tiring it must be to just stand there on duty. 

“I enjoy it,” Jaehyun replies. “I like the feeling of making others feel safe. Or threatened. Depends who you are.”

Jacob snorts, “You mean like if I was thief?”

Jaehyun nods, adjusting the box in his hands.

“Well you do make me feel safe,” Jacob continues with a small smile. “Even without your uniform on.”

Jaehyun smiles back. “I’m glad. And what about Juyeon?”

Jacob blinks in confusion before jumping to blurt out yet another rushed response. “Oh yes, Juyeon. He… he’s very protective.” 

“He takes after me.”

I was talking about you.

Sometimes Jacob just completely forgets he’s supposed to be Juyeon’s fiance. He still visits him at the hospital but he’s yet to wake up. It’s a little hard to keep up the role with a lead character who isn’t awake. 

But it’s at these moments that Jacob forces a smile. He’s taken a liking to Jaehyun. His playful personality paired with the firmness of his care for the people around him makes Jacob feel like swooning. Maybe he already is. He loves the little habits and quirks in his personality that he’s supposed to know about Juyeon. Rather he knows more about his older brother.

For example, Jaehyun has the habit of pulling the person beside him closer whenever there’s something coming close. Maybe it’s an instinct of being a policeman, but every time he tugs on his shoulder to keep him away from a speeding car or a harmless squirrel, Jacob can’t help but smile to himself. 

There are times when Jaehyun reveals more and more, though he’s not too keen on talking about himself. One, he really likes Iron Man and is still a huge nerd. Second, he really likes sweet desserts. Jacob once gave him one that was on sale at his workplace and he’s never seen his eyes light up so adorably.

When they arrive at his apartment and they climb the narrow flight of stairs, Jacob takes a deep breath and hopes that he has at least tidied up a bit before he left. He unlocks the door and welcomes him in.

Jaehyun takes a glance around before turning back to Jacob.

“Cozy.”

“Thanks.” Jacob grins. “It’s not nearly worth the rent I pay though.”

Jaehyun rolls his eyes with an amused smile. “That’s the city for you.” And then, the moment that Jacob’s been waiting for, he sets the box down on the nearby table. But still, Jacob wills himself not to get too excited. He knows that he’ll eventually have to return it when everyone finds out the truth and absolutely despises his guts. 

Even so, he walks over to the box and cuts it open with a pair of scissors. Then he turns to face Jaehyun with a look that must be brimming so much with curiosity that it causes him to laugh.

“May I?” He asks.

“Be my guest.”

When he opens it and peers inside, Jacob can’t help but gasp. He brings one hand up to his mouth as he looks closer to make sure this isn’t some sort of dream.

“Is this…” 

A record player. It’s beautiful, the wood brown and smooth. It isn’t one of those cheap ones that you would find in the unwanted pile at a vintage shop. It’s new and so… Jacob in some way. He’s always wanted a record player. It’s not just because he has a few records that he impulsively bought when he told himself that he was going to buy one himself (he never did), but because he’s always loved that method of music. Watching the vinyl turn over and over as it plays his favorite songs, Jacob can do it all day.

Jaehyun looks at him nervously. 

“You like music right? Though I would assume everyone does,” He rambles, fidgeting with his hands. “So, I thought it would fit you and Ju–”

The man is cut off by the other lunging forward and pulling him into a tight hug. Jaehyun lets out a small “oof” but he’s quick to wrap his arms around the shorter man. 

“I wasn’t expecting that,” He mumbles. Jacob smiles to himself, tightening his hold. 

“Thank you, Jaehyun,” He whispers. “I’ve always wanted one.”

“And thank you for making my little brother happy.” Jaehyun grins, pulling away. That’s when Jacob’s smile falters ever so slightly. 

“Mhm,” He hums with a weak smile.

“Bye Jacob.” He waves, opening the door. But before he steps out, he nods towards the box. “There’s something else in there by the way.”

Jacob waves back and walks over to the box once again. When he lifts up the record player, he widens his eyes when he notices that there’s a vinyl, wrapped neatly. He turns it over to try to figure out what song it is. But it’s almost like a mystery with how blank it looks. And so, Jacob sets up the record player and places the vinyl in.

He watches with a smile as the music starts to play. Jacob recognizes the classic song: “It’s been a Long, Long Time.”

Kiss me once and kiss me twice then kiss me once again.

It’s been a long, long time.

He wanders over to the window and crosses his arms over the sill. He tilts his head and with a fond smile, the song playing softly in the background, he watches Jaehyun make his way down the park. He laughs to himself when the man slips slightly on the ice, looking around to make sure no one’s noticed.

Jacob feels a constant pounding in his chest, one that fits perfectly with the melody of the song. He shuts his eyes and breathes out a low sigh.

“I think I just fell for his brother.”

“What do I do?” Jacob whispers, readjusting the edge of Juyeon’s blanket. He always worries that he feels cold, even though the hospital is very adamant about keeping the rooms warm. Jacob wants nothing more but for Juyeon to forever be wrapped in warmth and love.

He sighs, sitting back in his chair in defeat. 

“Would you think it’d be weird that I might like your broth–”

“Hey,” A voice greets from the doorway. Immediately, Jacob stands up in startlement, causing the chair to scrape across the floor loudly. And of course, the man leaning against the entrance just has to be Jaehyun of all people–the man that Jacob’s been thinking about too often for his liking.

“Hi,” Jacob blurts, clearing his throat awkwardly.

Jaehyun smiles, walking in. He fixes a piece of Juyeon’s hair and drops off a Get Well Soon! card on the nearby table. 

“From one of his students,” Jaehyun explains, shrugging.

“Ah,” Jacob’s voice wavers. He curses at himself for stuttering over his breath. Apparently, Jaehyun makes him nervous now. And so, without a word, he grabs his coat and heads to the door, hoping to sneak past Jaehyun. 

“Going now?” Jaehyun tilts his head with a slightly crooked smile. Jacob gulps. He’s always liked how Jaehyun looks out of uniform. He’s so warm, like the epitome of autumn even when the season is so clearly winter. And yet again, his hair is curly again which secretly, Jacob longs to touch. He wonders if the strands will twirl around his finger and bounce back when he lets go.

Jacob smiles softly. “Mhm.”

“Let me walk you.” Jaehyun grins, walking to his side.

“Home?” 

“If you would like.” The man smiles. But then his eyes light up adorably. “Unless… you want to go somewhere else?”

“Where in particular?”

“They’re lighting the Christmas tree today,” Jaehyun explains. “At the center of the city.”

“I’ve never been,” Jacob mutters.

“Then today will be your first.” The man smiles charmingly–so charmingly that Jacob feels his legs go slightly weak. “Usually I’m dragged out by Eric but I’ll willingly go this time. For you.” 

Jacob hates that his heart jumps at those last few words. For you, as if that even means something. Maybe Younghoon was right. Things would be a lot less complicated if he told the truth. But there’s that small ounce of fear in his chest that when he does, he’d be too far into the lie to get a single positive reaction to his confession.

“I’ll take pictures and show Juyeon when he…” Jaehyun trails off, glancing at his sleeping figure. “...you know.”

Jacob nods with a sympathetic smile. “Sure, let’s go.”

As they’re walking, Jacob feels the weight on his heart slowly lift over time. It isn’t snowing but it’s still a beautiful day. The sky is clear and it smells just like the holidays. Occasionally, Jaehyun will speak up, describing cute things he’s observed while on duty such as how there was a young boy who stopped and gave him a candy cane. 

“Jaehyun,” Jacob speaks first this time.

“Yeah?”

“What type of music do you listen to?” Jacob loves to learn about other’s music tastes. He feels like it says a lot about their personality. For example, Younghoon is more of a depressing song on a rainy day type of person, which explains his constant grumpy mood. His mother likes listening to folklore, loving just like her care for him.

“Music?” Jaehyun blinks. Then he smiles bashfully to himself. “Well… I like anything that’s on the slower side. Nothing too loud or upbeat.”

Jacob nods, trying to contain his excitement at how alike their music tastes are. Though there are plenty of people who like slow songs, Jacob loves to dream. 

“Name a song.”

“It’s an album actually. I think it’s called Kindle.”

That’s when the world practically stops for Jacob. He inhales sharply and the only thing that brings him back to reality is the sudden gust of chilly air that hits his face briskly. That album… is his. He made it a while ago, late at night with the help of Younghoon. He hates to admit it but he poured his heart into it, only for him to cringe at the lyrics and melodies years later. He expected no one to even find it.

“His voice is soft and amazing. I often fall asleep to it,” Jaehyun continues. 

Jacob feels like he’s going to barf. Not physically. That would be gross on the snow. But maybe barf emotions. 

So maybe he lied about hating singing. He likes it now.

Since he’s made the album with an alias and Younghoon once mentioned that his singing voice is significantly different from his talking one, Jacob fully understands why Jaehyun doesn’t recognize him. But god, Jacob feels like jumping up and down. Except he’ll probably make a fool of himself by slipping on the ice.

“I’ve never heard of it.” Jacob stumbles over his words, his heart beating impossibly fast. 

“You should definitely listen to it,” Jaehyun winks. And for a second, Jacob thinks that he’s messing with him and maybe does recognize him. But then he remembers Jaehyun has the habit of winking cheekily for absolutely no reason.

Once they arrive at the Christmas tree, Jacob can’t help but let his mouth fall open at the sight. It’s not even lit up but the sight of the large tree with the backdrop of the city lights is a sight to adore. It’s evening now, the sky dark but perfectly complimenting the white of the snow on the ground. 

“It’s about to happen, Jacob,” Jaehyun whispers into his ear. 

And it does happen. Beautifully so. The lights on the tree suddenly light up, illuminating the stunning view with red, yellow, and all other different colors. The ornaments shine under the moonlight and Jacob can’t help but smile. He looks to his side and decides to admire Jaehyun who seems to be observing the tree as well.

He has a content smile and his eyes sparkle with the reflection of the holiday luminescence. Jacob can’t help but feel his heartbeat in his chest. The features of his face hold so much kindness in them. Jacob continues to look straight at him, rather than the tree in front of him.

But Jaehyun doesn’t look back because well, Jacob’s supposed to be Juyeon’s fiance. Why would he?

“Thank you,” Jacob suddenly feels the need to say.

Jaehyun’s eyes widen suddenly and he turns to him. He gives him a soft smile.

“For what?” He asks with a teasing tone.

Jacob takes a deep breath and turns back to face the Christmas tree, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning forward into the metal railing. 

“For helping me feel less alone,” He speaks quietly. He can feel Jaehyun’s eyes on him but tries to ignore his gaze. “I’ve been away from my family for years so I…”

Jaehyun huffs softly. “Well, you have Juyeon for that, right?”

Jacob hums in agreement before adding on. “But it’s also Haknyeon, Sunwoo, Eric, and… you.” This time, he makes the brief decision to look back at Jaehyun, only for his heart to skip a beat for the nth time. Something about the way the lights light up his features so prettily, makes Jacob want to fall farther. Or maybe he’s already sinking into the floor and he hasn’t noticed yet. “It feels nice,” He continues. “To have people this time of the year.”

Jaehuyn shifts closer, leaning against the railing as well but instead with his back. He turns to him. 

“Everyone should have someone this time of the year.”

Jacob eyes him with amusement. “Who do you have?”

“The three musketeers of course. And– oh, you mean…” Jaehyun groans, slapping a hand over his face when he notices the way Jacob’s looking at him teasingly. “You mean romantically, don’t you?” 

Jacob nods enthusiastically, snickering to himself.

“No. No, I don’t,” Jaehyun mutters and shakes his head with an embarrassed expression on his face, his ears tinting red. “Love is… complicated.”

Jacob raises an eyebrow. “How so?”

Jaehyun simply shrugs sheepishly. “Dunno. Never dated before.”

Now Jacob’s gaping at him. Never dated before? With a face like his?

“Never? At all?”

Now Jaehyun’s full-on blushing, his cheeks reddening. “I know, I know,” He sighs. “I’m a grown man with no experience. What about it?”

“Nothing!” Jacob blurts out. But Jaehyun only stares at him unimpressed when he notices that Jacob’s struggling to hold in his laughter. He does find it funny but truth be told, Jacob also finds it a bit endearing. Jaehyun’s always the one who teases and flirts with the people around him. But to know that he’s never actually utilized his skills is another thing.

Jacob’s about to add in a joke but he’s cut off by a shiver that runs through his body. He hasn’t even noticed that the temperature’s dropped drastically with midnight approaching. Immediately, Jaehyun’s noticing, looking him over in worry.

“Cold?”

“Yes–” Jacob lets out an involuntary oof when he’s suddenly attacked by Eric and Haknyeon throwing their arms around his shoulders from behind. He recognizes them purely off of their giggles. Sunwoo stands in front, watching with a fond smile. And much to Jacob’s surprise, he walks forward and joins in on the hug.

“Jacob!” Eric exclaims. “And–” He gasps. “Jaehyun hyung! You finally came to the tree lighting without me forcing you?”

Jaehyun shrugs with a proud smile. “It was for a certain someone.”

As the three boys start chattering their mouths off while still clinging onto Jacob, he can’t help but smile widely. He looks up and into Jaehyun’s soft eyes, shaking his head.

“I feel very, very warm.”

Jaehyun’s shoulders shake with a soft laugh.

“Always the poetic one.”

Jacob finds himself sitting beside Juyeon again. He’s run out of things to do. He’s already refilled the multiple vases of flowers, adjusted his blankets yet again, and tidied up every single corner of the hospital room. Of course, it’s natural to just sit and watch Juyeon. But Jacob knows that the second he shifts his chair closer, he’s going to start rambling about all of his life problems as if Juyeon could possibly care.

He tries to keep quiet, pursing his lips shut as he shuts his eyes. His hands grip onto the sides of the chair and he tilts his head back, the whirring and beeping of the heart monitor serving only to add to his growing restlessness.

He tries to think of happy thoughts, the holiday spirit, anything that will take his mind off his current dilemma. But ultimately, he gives up, letting out a loud breath that he didn’t even know he was holding.

He leans forward with a groan, putting his head in his hands.

“Juyeon, what do I do?”

No response. As expected. However, Jacob’s glad to see that there’s a new tint of rosiness to Juyeon’s lips. Slow progress.

He straightens with a sigh. “I have so much going on but I should start simple. First of all, Younghoon’s been nagging me to write love songs over and over again.” He toys with the hem of his sweater. “I thought that holiday music would be in demand? What happened to that?”

Jacob recalls all of the recent attempts he’s made at writing lyrics about being in love. He’s not at that stage yet. The fact that he can add the word yet is another alarming thing to address. It’s a growing possibility, and Jacob can’t seem to fathom that that’s a thing now.

“But what if it happens?” He mutters to himself, hanging his head low. Now, Jacob’s mind is clouded with another… thing. A person to be exact. A handsome man–about his age with a nice smile. A man who’s protective because of his job and also solely because it’s his nature. A man who’s only a few inches taller but seems to tower over him anyway. A man with a witty yet flirty sense of humor who takes pride in his own broad figure because it “makes him look like Iron-Man.” Jacob can’t quite agree with that but he does think his broad shoulders are very attractive.

“What if I fall in love with someone else when I’m supposed to be your fiance?”

There’s a deathly silence. Mostly because there really isn’t anyone to provide him with an answer currently. But still, Jacob hates the silence. He misses the solemn music and melodies that he hears around this time of the year, as depressing as it may be. Now, all he hears is the beating of his heart when he looks into Jaehyun’s eyes or when he’s thinking of all the possible ways everything can go wrong.

“It’s hard to keep lying,” He whispers. “I’ll tell the truth eventually, but–”

A thump is heard outside the door. Jacob’s breath hitches and he quickly turns around, only to catch a glimpse of a shadow. Furrowing his eyebrows, he leans over to get another glance but it’s of no use as he can hear footsteps receding.

He sighs, putting his head back in his hands as he wonders if anyone’s heard his confession.

“No,” He whispers to himself. He looks up at Juyeon. “Surely not. Right?” 

Yet again, he doesn’t get an answer.

Jaehyun breathes out heavily, leaning back against the wall. He clutches the wallet that’s fallen out of his hand, silently cursing it for causing a sound in the first place. But the sound that really gets him, is the sound of hurt. 

He groans, thumping his head backward as he wonders if what Jacob said is true.

He goes over all the possible scenarios. He remembers Jacob being the sweetest person, the perfect man for someone like Juyeon. There’s no way he would, in his words, fall in love with someone else. 

“No,” He mutters. “It can’t be.”

It’s quiet for the next few days. Jacob spends most of his time wondering. He wonders if Juyeon woke up while he’s been too hesitant to visit. He wonders if Jaehyun’s been taking care of Juyeon while he’s been gone. He wonders if things would be different if he held on to that fake lie for just a moment longer when he was sure there was no one else nearby.

He knows that this is all his fault and that this would have eventually happened, but Jacob can’t help but feel bad anyway. Everything around him is so… quiet. He’s quiet. He’s lost his appetite and more hours of sleep than usual. 

But then again, maybe it was just a visitor for another patient. Jacob continues to wonder.

As he sits at his desk, lyrics in front of him with little to no progress made, he barely registers a worried Younghoon entering with a warm cup of hot chocolate in his hand.

“Are you still thinking about what happened?” He takes a seat next to him, adjusting a piece of hair that’s sticking up.

Jacob can only reply with a small “yes” as he stares at the cup dully.

Younghoon sighs, figuring that Jacob refuses to drink his offer, he brings it up to his own lips, humming at the taste. Then, he scoots closer, pulling him into a side hug, encompassing him in a warmth that Jacob hasn’t felt for a while. Jacob silently hums to himself in surprise.

“I would say I told you so but that would be a mean thing to say,” Younghoon mumbles.

Jacob’s slight smile immediately falls and he glares up at him with narrowed eyes.

“It would,” He agrees, to which Younghoon shrugs with a nonchalant expression.

“Have you decided if you’re going to tell his older brother or not?” For the past few days, Younghoon’s been incredibly insistent on him telling Jaehyun, saying that he won’t actually be mad. But Jacob thinks otherwise.

Jacob huffs, “I’m not telling you that.”

Younghoon whispers a small “boo” but he still hugs Jacob closer.

“Just tell him the truth. Or else he might get the wrong impression of it.”

Jacob takes a breath to say something but his shoulders sink in defeat. He looks down at his lap.

“I’m ashamed.”

“He’ll understand.”

Jaehyun’s never liked this part of his job: investigating. He finds it tedious trying to find out the truth–the motive–behind someone’s wrongdoings. If they would just fess up, life would be a whole lot easier.

Some part of his spine makes a cracking noise as he stretches his arms over his head. He adjusts his vest as he walks up to the front desk of a building that he’s been assigned to investigate. It’s neat inside, luckily, much better than those random dark warehouses that he’s had to look to for weapons. It’s also the exact same building that he stood outside of to apologize to Jacob that one time. Now he wonders if he even deserved such an apology. 

Jaehyun tries to focus back on the task at hand. This assignment is fairly simple: figure out if the employees are illegally selling substances to each other.

His eyes meet with another pair of eyes, surprisingly level with his. 

The man is handsome, no doubt. Kind eyes and an equally kind smile. He’s dressed in a suit–not very suitable for a music producer but anything for the professionalism, he guesses.

Jaehyun nods his head in greeting.

“You’re the rep for this company?”

The man nods, smiling widely as if there’s absolutely nothing to be investigated. Jaehyun takes the point. Anyone who’s confident is someone who has a bigger chance of being believed in.

“Officer.” He gives him a lighthearted smile. “Nice to meet you.” He offers his hand to shake. “I’m Younghoon, care for a cup of coffee?”

Jaehyun can’t help but let his tough facade fall in an instant as he grins back. He takes his hand and shakes it. He likes this man already.

Instead of the quiet building, they find themselves in a cafe, much to Younghoon’s kind offering. There aren’t many customers, so the only thing that fills the silence is the calm piano versions of Christmas music playing in the background.

Jaehyun runs through all the necessary procedures for gaining information about the situation. Except, the more he learns, the more he realizes that this investigation isn’t really an investigation, per se. It’s just a chat with a friendly employee because the truth is, the person who reported the company was an elderly woman who seemed to be in a grumpy mood.

“I’ve seen her around,” Younghoon sighs. “Peeking in and trying to catch us in some sort of act. I never knew someone could hate music so much.”

Jaehyun hums in amusement, pretending to write stuff down on his notepad. So far, all he’s got is a doodle of a snowman.

“I guess she must’ve seen us passing around painkillers.” The man shrugs, taking a sip of his coffee. Jaehyun stares at him in astonishment.

“Painkillers?”

Younghoon nods. “Drugs would be a crazy assumption. Sure, creating music gets to our brains, but the most that we have to deal with are sleep-deprivation and headaches.”

Jaehyun sits back in his chair, leaning his head back in the process.

“So you’re not dealing drugs?”

“Certainly not me,” Younghoon laughs. “I’m sure there are a few stragglers who do but that requires more…” He looks Jaehyun over who seems to be uncomfortable in his uniform. Which, frankly, he is. It’s heavy and bulky. “Investigation.”

“That.” Jaehyun shakes his head. “I’m too tired to do.”

“Don’t worry,” Younghoon muses. “All we do is stress over lyrics and beats. We’re the nerds who chose this job.”

“I’ll take your word for it.” Jaehyun grins, setting his coffee cup down. His mind rushes back to Jacob briefly at the sound of the word “lyrics.” He still hasn’t figured out what to do with that whole situation.

But, despite all the stress, Jaehyun’s glad to have met Younghoon. He likes Younghoon. His sense of humor brings a smile to his face and frankly, Jaehyun’s not the best at making friends. Hence, he’s run out of things to say and so, with an awkwardly polite smile, he stands up.

Younghoon sits up with a frown and glances out the window where the snow’s falling rapidly.

“Leaving now?” 

Jaehyun blinks.

“I don’t know,” He replies. “My train isn’t arriving ‘till thirty minutes.”

Younghoon gestures to the seat again. “Hang out for a bit. It’s cold outside.”

Jaehyun smiles softly. “If that’s alright with you.” He sits back down and they both stare out the window silently, presumably trying to find something to talk about other than work. Just as Jaehyun’s about to use the typical question What’s your favorite color? Younghoon speaks first.

“So,” He starts, eyeing him slyly. “You’re a pretty good-looking man. Have anyone that you’re head over heels for?”

“Me?” Jaehyun points to himself as if there’s anyone else in the conversation. Then he huffs out an embarrassed laugh, already feeling his ears grow warm. “No, no, I don’t.”

Younghoon gapes. “Why not?”

Jaehyun shrugs, fiddling with his cup. “Just haven’t… found the one.” He looks back up, shifting the conversation briefly away from him. “And you?”

“Well I have someone.” Younghoon smiles shyly. “His name is Chanhee. He’s very…” Even under the cozy, warm lighting, Jaehyun can see the way the man’s cheeks tint pink.

Jaehyun snickers, causing Younghoon to roll his eyes.

“I just can’t believe my little brother’s managed to get someone before me.” Jaehyun scowls. “I’m the one who gave him flirting advice.”

“Oh yeah?” Younghoon’s eyes brighten. “Who’s the lucky person?”

“His name is Jacob,” Jaehyun replies, completely missing the way Younghoon’s mouth drops open as he jumps in his seat. “They’re actually about to get married which… I somehow had no idea about. But, my brother got injured and he’s in a coma.” He pauses briefly. “Not amazing for the holidays, I know.”

“Wait, wait.” Younghoon practically slams his fist on the table. “Did you say…”

Jaehyun snaps his head up and he tilts his head in confusion.

“You know him?”

“Hah!” The man smiles painfully as he forces out a very unnatural laugh. “What? No I don’t.”

Jaehyun only stares at him unimpressed, raising an eyebrow.

Younghoon stares back before eventually giving in with an exasperated groan. “God, policemen are so scary for what? But fine! He’s my coworker.”

Jaehyun straightens up at that, his shoulders stiff. “Is he really?”

“Unfortunately.”

Jaehyun stops and ponders for a moment. This is his chance–his own personal investigation to find his motive. With a look of determination, he leans forward, causing Younghoon to flinch and lean back. 

“Then can I ask you something?”

“Of course, officer.” Jaehyun admires this man for still sneaking in a joke.

“Is he cheating?”

Younghoon blinks, taking way too long to process such a short question. But when he does, he immediately jolts, crossing his arms over his chest in a panicked, very awkward way. “Whaaaaaaaaat?” He smiles agonizingly. Well, at least Jaehyun knows he wasn’t lying about the drugs. He would have sucked at hiding it in the first place, seeing as he’s a terrible liar at the moment. “What makes you say that?” He stutters.

Jaehyun narrows his eyes. Maybe Younghoon really is unaware of the truth. His coworker deserves to know then.

“Well if you really want to know,” He huffs. “He was whispering stuff to his own fiance who’s in a coma mind you, that he might be in love with someone else. Tell me that’s not–”

Much to Jaehyun’s surprise, Younghoon bursts out into loud laughter. Already, there are tears springing up to his eyes as he doubles over the table. Jaehyun blinks in confusion.

“What? What’s so funny?”

“He said that? God, he never specifically told me–” Younghoon’s cut off by his own laugh as he flicks away a tear as he tries to catch his breath. “That he’s in love with someone else? And it was you who found out?”

“Yes,” Jaehyun replies matter-of-factly, completely perplexed as to why this insane man finds this hilarious. “I guess?”

“He’s such a– I can’t,” The man wheezes. Jaehyun allows him to stop laughing, which takes a while. “But of course he’s allowed to be in love with someone else.”

Jaehyun frowns. “I don’t think you understand. He’s already engaged.”

“No, he’s not. He’s single,” Younghoon says as if that’s the most normal thing. Jaehyun gapes at him. Maybe this man is on drugs. Slowly though, the man grows quiet and he glances at Jaehyun in horror. “Actually, I said too much. I should go.” He does a curt wave before grabbing his things and heading out the door.

Luckily, Jaehyun has fast reflexes and he easily catches up to the fleeing man.

“Don’t run,” He groans. “Or else I’ll handcuff you.”

“First of all,” Younghoon scoffs. “I don’t think that’s allowed unless I actually commited a crime. And second of all, I’m not too into that kink thank you very much.”

Jaehyun stutters. “Seriously–”

“Look,” The man sighs, turning to him. “If you really want to know, which personally, I think you have the right to. This whole… ordeal is hurting Jacob more than he thinks.”

“What… ordeal?” Jaehyun steps back.

Younghoon takes a deep breath and his shoulders slump. “Jacob’s going to kill me after this, but this was all out of pure accident. He’s pretending to be your brother’s fiance.”

Jaehyun’s breath hitches and he starts to feel dizzy at his words. He finds a nearby wall and he leans against it. He’s at least glad that the snow’s slowed down. He’s not too glad about what he’s just heard though.

“Why?” is the first question he can manage.

Younghoon leans against the wall next to him. 

“At first, he did it to keep you happy. And those three boys. He didn’t want to ruin it for them,” He explains, speaking softly and cautiously. “But now… I think he got attached.”

“How so?” Jaehyun mutters, thoughts rushing through his head. Every single puzzle piece starts to come together and it all starts to make sense. Not knowing much about Juyeon, the awkwardness whenever he does comes up… 

“Jacob’s always been lonely. And it’s not just in the sense that he’s a terribly awkward introvert because well– he is. But it’s because he really only has me.” Younghoon looks at him, a sad shadow cast over his face. “His family is far away and so he’s miserable this time of the year.”

Younghoon pauses for a second and Jaehyun waits patiently, trying to process everything.

“That’s why he… wanted something close to family.”

“...so he pretended to be his fiance so that he can be with us,” Jaehyun whispers to himself.

“Precisely.” Younghoon nods. He smiles to himself. “He knows Juyeon by the way. Just not like that.”

“Then who’s he in love with?”

Younghoon grins, his eyes glinting as if he already knows something. “Just… someone.”

Jaehyun thinks about it for a moment. At first, he expected to have to think for much longer. The fact that he’s been lied to should be something worth thinking about. But he knows that Jacob’s a kind person, a sweet one at that. And his investigation: his motive is found to be… family. Jaehyun can’t find himself to be angry.

Instead, he laughs softly to himself, his eyes crinkling.

“Your coworker’s an idiot.”

“Tell me about it. He makes his own life ten times harder,” Younghoon groans. “At least someone else knows the truth. But don’t take it fully from me alright? Talk to him about it.”

Jaehyun nods. “I will.” Then he checks his watch and pushes himself off the wall. “My train’s coming. See you around ‘hoon?”

“See you around.” The man waves, smiling brightly. “And nicknames already?”

Jaehyun laughs. “Nicknames,” He confirms. “And stop calling me officer.”

“Will do, officer.”

Jaehyun’s gotten new earphones. They’re black this time, rather than the bright white that didn’t really match his uniform. He plugs them into his phone and presses shuffle on the first playlist that appears. Immediately, he recognizes it: the same song that he chose for Jacob’s record player. 

His mind drifts back to Jacob. Jaehyun can’t lie and say that he didn’t absolutely feel betrayed by Jacob for the few days he’s spent wondering if he’s been seeing someone else. But now, everything’s different. His whole perspective changed.

Jacob’s been lying about being Juyeon’s fiance this whole time. Yet, he didn’t have an evil plan behind it. Jaehyun smiles to himself. 

He just wanted someone by his side this time of the year.

He turns up the volume, closing his eyes and leaning his head back. There’s a small smile on his lips as he toys with the wire of the earphones.

Come outside

Jacob remembers practically falling off his bed when the notification pops up on his phone. Of course, it’s from Jaehyun, the very man he’s been avoiding. Though really, Jacob’s been avoiding everyone, but he refuses to acknowledge that right now.

Pulling his coat close over his body, he shivers as he steps outside. One would think that his heart would slow down due to the freezing temperature but really, just the sight of Jaehyun is enough to bring it back to speed. Or even faster.

Another thing to note is that the sky is pitch black. It is the middle of the night after all. But after knowing each other for a while now, Jaehyun would know that Jacob’s usually up at this time, working on lyrics or playing his guitar.

The only lighting that’s available is the dim, orange-ish streetlights lined down the trail. It’s Jacob’s favorite place to walk. Not just because it’s conveniently close to his apartment but simply because it’s just beautiful. To one side, is the sight of the nearby lake, frozen in the winter, and clear in the rest of the seasons. On the other side is a nearby park and a few other apartment complexes. It’s quiet, accompanied only by the sounds of the wind blowing and the rustle of the evergreen trees–the trees that don’t lose their leaves in the winter.

Jacob treads through the snow to where Jaehyun’s waiting for him. He frowns when he notices that he’s dressed in his uniform without any extra layers over it.

“Aren’t you cold?” Jacob asks, looking him over in worry.

Jaehyun shrugs his nose slightly tinted red. “You get used to it eventually.”

Then, Jaehyun gives him his signature charming smile. Great, so Jacob can probably rule out Jaehyun as the shadow who heard him back in the hospital room. It surely can’t be Jaehyun if he’s smiling so kindly like that.

Then, the man nudges him with a teasing look. 

“You look cozy.” He looks him over, and that’s when Jacob begins to feel a bit embarrassed. He laughs quietly, gesturing to his own outfit.

“Well, I came prepared.” Jacob fiddles with the sleeves of his oversized sweater, perfect for the weather. Silently, they both agree to begin walking. It’s quiet–a bit too quiet in Jacob’s opinion. The sound of snow crunching under their feet is the only thing that accompanies his eardrums. He steals a few glances Jaehyun always returns them with a small smile.

“What’d you call me out for?” He finally asks, having enough of the silent suspense.

Jaehyun turns to him before shrugging. “Nothing.”

Jacob scoffs, remembering that it’s literally the middle of the night. He could be sleeping right now. Though, he’s more of a night owl, don’t tell Jaehyun that. It’ll only encourage him to bother him more.

“Nothing?” He looks at him incredulously.

Jaehyun chuckles, “Duties get boring at night. You would think that there would be more robberies and such at this time but the most I’ve experienced are a few stray cats here and there.”

Jacob stares at him and he hopes that Jaehyun can’t see the stars that must be forming in his eyes.

“So you wanted me to accompany you?”

“Is that so wrong to ask for?” The man gives him a teasing smile, nudging him with his shoulder.

“Well considering I’m engaged to your brother…”

And that’s when Jaehyun straightens up in excitement. There’s something odd about him. His eyes twinkle like the stars in the sky. But it’s not, particularly the type of sparkle associated with simple happiness. Jacob can see a sort of mischievousness in them. Like he already knows something.

Jaehyun grins. “Speaking of that, let’s talk about that more.”

“Why? Wh-what? How so?” Jacob rambles in a fast manner. His ability to lie has depreciated apparently because now he’s stuttering like an insane man. 

“Just curious. I’m the protective older brother. So tell me more.”

Jacob shuts his eyes to force back the grimace that might visibly explode all over his face. 

“What do you want to know?” He asks quietly.

“Is he your ideal type?” Jaehyun immediately replies, almost like he’s been planning this question since the day he was born.

“Of course he would be.” Jacob looks at him like he’s crazy. “He’s my fiance.”

“Oh, he’s your fiance alright,” Jaehyun remarks. That catches Jacob off guard. What’s with the change of tone? It’s almost sarcastic. 

“What?” Jacob squawks, his voice wavering with both confusion and nervousness.

Jaehyun simply ignores his protest of uncertainty and grins even wider. Now Jacob’s incredibly confused. Confused isn’t even the word to describe it. He can’t comprehend anything behind Jaehyun’s knowing expression.

“Then describe your ideal type if you’re so sure.”

“But I just said it was Juyeon,” Jacob says in disbelief.

“Specifically.”

Jacob gawks at him. But when he realizes that Jaehyun’s actually being serious, he suppresses a sigh and begins with the most basic idea that comes up in his head.

“He would be… tall.”

Jaehyun hums. “That’s it?”

“And he–” Jacob finds his mind wandering elsewhere the more he looks into Jaehyun’s eyes. His eyes are pretty. Captivating would be a better word. The emotion that he can read so easily from the mere shape of it, his eyelashes, and the way the corners crinkle ever so slightly when he smiles. “He would have nice eyes.”

And even under the dim streetlights, Jaehyun continues to look as handsome as ever. When Jacob said that he would write a song about this man, it may just turn into a whole album.

“And his lips would be pretty.”

Jaehyun smiles more. And almost like he’s noticed Jacob staring intently at him, he leans even closer, tilting his chin down. Jacob finds his cheeks have started to heat up, even under the freezing winter air.

Jacob can just stop there. He can maybe just stop rambling more and more about his ideal type that’s supposed to be Juyeon but is slowly becoming a specific image of his older brother instead. But instead, his eyes trail down.

“He would be strong,” He whispers, letting his gaze fall on Jaehyun’s wide shoulders. “And would give nice hugs.”

“Does he?” Jaehyun muses with a teasing voice.

“Yes,” Jacob mutters, finally tearing his eyes away.

But then Jaehyun stops him from doing so as he leans close enough that Jacob can’t really look away anyway. What happened to personal space? Jacob wonders if that’s a thing anymore.

“Ah-ah.” The man laughs. “You forgot personality. Or don’t tell me you only go for looks?”

Jacob groans, batting him away. “Of course I don’t,” He grumbles. “As for personality, well–” He clears his throat, trying to bring his focus back onto Juyeon. “He would be kind-hearted and would take care of others well.” But yet again, his mind wanders again. This time away from the physical aspect of Jaehyun and onto the memories associated with him. “He would make me laugh and would like my music. He would look tough on the outside but be soft on the inside. He would make me smile.”

“You’re smiling right now.”

Jacob startles and he quickly looks away to hide his face. “That’s nothing,” He mutters.

“Okay,” Jaehyun suspiciously replies. “Whatever you say, Jacob.”

Jacob huffs, trying his best to avoid Jaehyun’s teasing attempts. But even so, when a strong gust of wind blows on him, he’s forced to shift even closer to him.

Time has passed so quickly to the point that Jacob was about to walk past his own apartment if it weren’t for Jaehyun grabbing hold of his wrist and gently pulling him back. Jacob’s about to make a remark but he’s cut off by a yawn. He blinks, his eyelids weighing much heavier than before. It must really be late.

“Tired?” Jaehyun’s eyes soften.

“Very.”

Jaehyun smiles. The smiles that Jacob sees from him on this night are different from the others. These ones are almost fond.

“Then good night. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Jacob’s eyes widen slightly. “You will?”

“I have more questions to ask.”

My god. Jacob thinks to himself. He’ll never catch a break.

“Sweet dreams.” And worse, Jacob can’t even be mad or the slightest bit annoyed at Jaehyun. Not when he waves so adorably and smiles so nicely.

“You too,” Jacob blurts out without thinking his words through.

“I’m still on patrol,” Jaehyun laughs.

“Oh right. Wait, hold on.” Without a warning, Jacob’s running up the stairs and into his apartment. Jaehyun waits there patiently until he appears back outside his door but this time with a cup of hot cocoa in his hand. “Have this to stay warm.” 

Jaehyun watches quietly in slight surprise. “Thank you, Jacob.”

Jacob smiles and he finally returns Jaehyun’s wave from before. As he turns his back to Jaehyun and disappears into his apartment, Jaehyun’s left to stand there and stare at the cup that’s been placed in his hand.

And like the absolute fool he is, he finds himself smiling stupidly to himself. When he takes a sip of the drink, it warms his chest until it leaves his heart beating faster. But maybe it’s already been like that and he was too busy admiring Jacob’s smile to notice.

By tomorrow, Jacob didn’t expect tomorrow night. Late night to be even more specific. His day at work was particularly taxing and he’s practically half asleep when he gets a call from Jaehyun. A call because he was too tired to check his texts.

“Are you awake?” Jaehyun asks as soon as he picks up.

“Hm?” Jacob hums sleepily. “Yeah, yeah. I am.”

“Come outside.” And then he hangs up. 

Jacob grumbles, trudging to the door and putting on his coat. He almost tumbles down the stairs with how tired his eyes are. But still, he forces himself awake for two main reasons: he should get along with Juyeon’s loved ones to look more convincing, and… he missed Jaehyun.

And just like the day before, Jaehyun smiles at the sight of him.

“Still not cold?” Jacob asks, noting that he’s still in his uniform.

“Nope.”

And exactly like before, they begin walking in straight silence. It’s not awkward though, which Jacob’s grateful for. It’s a comfortable silence–something mutually decided on.

But unlike before, Jaehyun’s the first to speak up.

“I have another question for you.”

“Great, what is it?” Jacob forces a pained smile. Here comes more lying which, frankly, he’s not very confident about.

“What do you think of the three musketeers?” Jaehyun asks. Jacob’s shoulders sink in relief. This question, he doesn’t have to lie about.

But Jacob still furrows his eyebrows.

“Does this have to do with Juyeon?”

“Of course. You have to get close with his loved ones of course.” Jaehyun smiles proudly which truthfully, Jacob finds incredibly cute. But he doesn’t plan to mention that at all–not ever in his lifetime. 

“Hm, well…” Jacob thinks for a brief moment. “Haknyeon is the type of boy that I strived to be when I was in my early years. He’s an amazing role model to the others. Sunwoo, though quiet, is a sweetheart. You can always see his passion for music. And Eric… is just warm all around. Like an eager puppy.”

Jaehyun smiles softly.

“Then what about me?”

“You?” Jacob looks at him in surprise. He pulls his lips into a tight line for a second, scared that he might blurt out the song verse that he may or may not have written about him. He can’t afford that embarrassment. After that brief moment of silence, Jacob fakes a glare. “Well, you are an annoying little elf.”

Jaehyun breathes out a laugh, completely unfazed.

“But I’m taller than you.”

And everything just backfires on Jacob because now, Jaehyun’s leaning over him to prove his height. There’s an almost flirty look on his face as he stares down at Jacob knowingly.

Jacob sputters and tears his gaze away, his heart beating faster by the second. And it seems that Jacob’s not the best at hiding his emotions as Jaehyun chuckles in amusement before finally leaning back.

“So that’s all you had to say about me?” Jaehyun lifts an eyebrow.

There’s so much more.

“Yes.”

“Liar,” The man whispers.

Jacob’s breath hitches at the word. He knows that he’s addressing the current conversation but Jacob can’t help but think he may be talking about something else. He brushes it off though. He’s probably just being paranoid.

“Fine,” Jacob huffs, kicking at the snow. “You’re very admirable. And sweet.”

“Sounds like someone doesn’t hate me anymore,” Jaehyun sings, smiling teasingly.

“I never hated you,” Jacob replies. “I was just a little awkward. And you’re a little scary.”

“Me?” Jaehyun laughs, throwing his head back. “Scary? How so?”

Jacob sighs, taking Jaehyun’s shoulder and turning his body to face him, stopping him in his tracks. Jaehyun stares wide-eyed and if Jacob squints, he can see a faint blush on his cheeks.

“This,” He mutters, gesturing to his police uniform with its intimidating dark blue and black vest. “–is scary.”

Jaehyun hums and nods in agreement. “You have a point.” He stays silent after that, walking quietly by Jacob’s side, almost as if he’s in deep thought over something. And then he turns to him again, this time, squaring his shoulders. 

“But don’t you think I look good like this?”

Jacob pauses and looks him over. When he first met Jaehyun, he simply saw him as a man in a police uniform. But now, after getting to know him more, Jacob’s come to the realization that he’s incredibly handsome in the uniform. It’s something about the way it hugs his shoulders and waist in just the right way, that causes his eyes to linger for just a second longer. It’s even better when he rolls up his sleeves occasionally to reveal muscular arms. 

But instead, like the absolute coward he is, Jacob replies with a simple, “You look alright.”

“What, do you prefer me out of uniform?”

Jacob thinks of that version of Jaehyun too. The curly hair that ruffles adorably in the wind as opposed to the straightened sleek hairstyle is something he finds especially cute. And even without his uniform, he looks like he can envelop Jacob in a hug that’s so comfortable he can fall asleep. Which he most certainly can.

“I do actually.” Jacob smiles. Jaehyun stares for a moment before clearing his throat and turning away.

“And one more question?” He asks after gathering his composure.

“Yeah?”

“If you could use one word to describe us, what would it be?” Jaehyun turns to him, his eyes soft and curious.

Jacob ponders for a moment–emphasization on moment because his answer is a very easy one to think of. 

“Home.”

And just like the day before, Jacob yawns when they reach the stairs to his apartment. Sleepily, he waves Jaehyun goodbye and he stumbles over the stairs. Jaehyun doesn’t even get a chance to wave back–partly because Jacob doesn’t turn back and mostly because Jaehyun’s too frozen to even do so.

He brings a hand up to his chest where his heart thumps and thumps. Home. Just like Younghoon had described. It’s not like Jaehyun’s really doubted Jacob’s motives but to see it before his eyes, hear it spoken from his honey-toned voice, it’s different.

Jaehyun might have caught feelings for his brother’s fake fiance. Funnily enough.

“I’m going insane,” He whispers to himself, staring at the snow under his feet.

The most significant time when Jaehyun called Jacob out of his apartment was when he wasn’t even on patrol, ironically enough. Jacob, more awake this time, walks out of his apartment, only to freeze when he realizes that Jaehyun isn’t in his police uniform. He looks charming as ever though, with a long dark coat over his body to keep him warm and his favorite part: the curly hair.

“So you come here even off duty?” Jacob narrows his eyes as they begin to walk the same trail.

“What can I say?” Jaehyun grins. “I’m lonely.”

Jacob rolls his eyes. “I’m an engaged man.”

Jaehyun grows silent at that, causing a spark in Jacob’s heart that soon ignites into a burning flame of fear. Jacob gulps and he stares straight ahead, bothered by the sudden tension that’s built up.

“Are you?” Jaehyun finally inquires.

“What?” Jacob forces a small smile. “Yes, of course I am. To Juyeon.”

“Really?” The man wonders to himself, looking out into the sparkling frozen lake.

“Mhm.” He curses at himself for his voice wavering.

“And you, an engaged man, often forgets to wear his ring.” Jaehyun’s eyes trail down to Jacob’s bare hands. He should have brought gloves today.

“Ah–” Jacob stutters. “Juyeon promised he would get it later.”

Jaehyun only regards him with a knowing tilt of his head. “And you, an engaged man, don’t know his favorite home cooked meal.”

Jacob bites his lip, clenching his hands into fists. There are alarms going off in his head, blaring in his ears. “I– I never asked.” Jaehyun’s onto something and he doesn’t know how to keep up the lie any further. 

“And you, an engaged man, would know what the leaning thing is.”

It’s like the scratch of a record. Jacob freezes, turning to him and staring at him in perplexity.

“The what?”

“You know.” Jaehyun raises an eyebrow. “The leaning thing?”

“What’s that?” And even though Jacob should be fearing for his life right now, he can’t help but let a small giggle breakthrough. He likes when Jaehyun rambles about ridiculous things like the one time he tried to convince Jacob that caramel macchiato was the best flavor of coffee. Jacob wasn’t even opposed to the idea in the first place.

But suddenly, Jaehyun turns to him, and Jacob briefly notices that there’s a brick wall right behind him.

“Oh, you know,” He whispers. “The thing where he looks into his eyes.” Jaehyun smirks, letting his gaze linger on Jacob, searching his eyes just like he had said. Jacob’s breath hitches and he takes a step back. “And then his lips,” He continues, this time, letting his focus wander down to his lips. Jacob unintentionally pouts, making Jaehyun smile wider. “And then right back up to his eyes.” And he does so. 

“Jaehyun,” He says weakly, hoping that he can’t hear his heart thumping against his chest.

“And he steps forward,” Jaehyun continues, the snow crunching under his foot. “And steps forward again.”

Jacob gasps quietly when he feels the brick wall against his back. He truly regrets calling Jaehyun an elf as he really is taller than him. His hands fidget at his sides and he quickly tries to break eye contact. But of course, Jaehyun’s quick to notice and he chuckles softly.

“And he looks into his eyes again,” He teases, tilting his head so that the only thing that Jacob can really look at, is right into his soft gaze. Jacob feels helpless now, his cheeks incredibly warm, even under the winter weather.

“And then he leans,” Jaehyun whispers, following his words and leaning so close that Jacob can feel his breath fan across his lips. He suppresses a surprised noise and shuts his eyes on instinct. Jaehyun huffs out a laugh, causing Jacob to peek an eye open. 

“I’m not going to kiss you,” Jaehyun says with a teasing smile. “You’re engaged aren’t you?”

Jacob’s eyes shoot open and his shoulders stiffen. He’s simply had enough.

“Okay, fine!” He suddenly exclaims, causing Jaehyun to lean back in surprise. “Do you really want to know the truth? Because I hate lying and this is–” Jacob’s mind flashes back to the memory of Jaehyun leaning over him. “–painful.”

“What truth?” Jaehyun looks at him innocently.

“The truth that we’re not actually engaged,” Jacob breathes, already feeling that heavy weight on his shoulders lifting. “I only know Juyeon because I’ve seen him on the way home from work. I only know him from the actions that I’ve observed because god— he’s such a kind, kind man.”

“So you don’t really know him?”

“No,” Jacob frowns. “I don’t. I lied. To all of you. Because I just–” He sighs. “I felt bad. You all seemed so happy and I couldn’t tell the truth and Younghoon told me that I should’ve and I should have listened because now I grew attached and–”

“Jacob.” Jaehyun’s eyes soften. 

But Jacob’s too focused on his frustration to hear the fondness in Jaehyun’s voice.

“I’ve always been so alone this time of the year. Christmas was supposed to be something I enjoyed but I couldn’t because I never had family around. And yes, I know that it’s selfish but I couldn’t let you go because you all felt like…” Jacob glances down to where Jaehyun suddenly took his hand in his. “Home.”

Apparently, Jacob got so frustrated that there are now tears in his eyes. He huffs, tearing his hand away from Jaehyun’s hold to wipe them away.

He pouts when Jaehyun takes his hand once again, this time intertwining their fingers together.

“And I’m sorry for lying,” He whispers, sniffling.

Jaehyun watches him silently, a soft smile on his lips. But Jacob stares down at the ground, too ashamed to look Jaehyun in the eye and too scared to see his angry face. But Jaehyun tightens his hold on his hand and pulls him closer so Jacob has no choice but to look up into his eyes.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Jaehyun says softly, tucking a piece of hair around his ear.

“Because I didn’t want you to let me go.”

Jaehyun laughs quietly, his gaze fond. Jacob frowns further, way too convinced that Jaehyun’s furious at him right now. But he proves the opposite when he speaks again. 

“Did you think I would let you go so easily?”

“What?” That’s when Jacob’s head snaps up. His eyes widen and he realizes that Jaehyun isn’t mad. It’s more of the opposite. There’s a fond, gentle look on his face, his lips pulled up into the same, kind smile. “You’re not… mad?”

Jaehyun shakes his head. “I’m not. I understand what it’s like to feel alone and personally,” He chuckles, his eyes twinkling. “I’m honored that you want to stay with me.”

“But I–” Jacob furrows his eyebrows in confusion. “I lied. You should be mad. You thought I was your brother’s.”

“Well forget that.” Jaehyun scrunches his nose dearly. “You’re mine.”

Jacob pauses, the words slowly churning through his brain until they hit him like a metal pan. He jerks, his ears and cheeks heating up.

“I’m yours?” 

Jaehyun’s eyebrows raise and a flush appears on his cheeks, visible under the streetlights. 

“Uh,” He coughs. “I mean– ours. Ours. Not just me.”

Jacob looks at him knowingly in which Jaehyun mutters incoherently to himself to try to save himself from the embarrassment. And out of nowhere, Jacob lunges forward, pulling Jaehyun into a tight hug.

“Thank you,” He whispers.

Jaehyun doesn’t respond verbally, but he does so by wrapping his arms around his body and holding him close.

And even though Jaehyun provides much warmth to Jacob’s body, it isn’t enough to counter the snow that’s started to fall. White flurries surround them, landing on top of their head, leaving Jacob shivering as he pulls away.

“The one time you forget your sweater,” Jaehyun teases.

“I know,” Jacob whines. “It’s not–”

But then Jaehyun turns him around so that his back is facing him. Jacob stares ahead in confusion, wondering if maybe Jaehyun’s going to run away unnoticed and tell the whole world that he’s a horrible liar. But instead, he feels those same firm arms wrap around his middle, pulling him into a back hug instead. Jacob inhales sharply as his back hits Jaehyun’s chest.

“Jaehyun?” He whispers. “What’s this for?”

“The Christmas spirit,” Jaehyun bluntly replies.

“This is not the–”

“I’m keeping you warm,” The man leans down and whispers into his ear, causing shivers down his spine.

Jacob wills himself not to blush because he’s pretty sure Jaehyun can see and point out his reddening ears. With a sigh, he relaxes in his hold because there’s not much else he can do.

“You know,” He starts. “You are warm but we could also just head back to my apartment. That’s another option.”

Jaehyun holds tighter in which Jacob looks back at him unimpressed. With a pout, Jaehyun finally lets go, this time letting his hand trail down to Jacob’s, intertwining their fingers.

“I guess you’re right.”

Jacob begins to miss Jaehyun’s warmth as his teeth are literally chattering on the walk back. The only source of warmth he has right now is Jaehyun’s palm on his.

“Would you marry Juyeon if you had the chance?” Jaehyun asks out of nowhere.

Jacob laughs and shakes his head. “No, not really. He’s cute. Just not my type.”

Jaehyun hums. And then he pauses, looking at Jacob with utmost interest as if he’s figured out something. “Then… who did you describe as your ideal type before?”

Jacob bites his tongue. And normally, since Jacob’s been doing it for so long, he would come up with a lie. But apparently, he doesn’t even have the mental capacity for that anymore when he sees the way Jaehyun smirks attractively. So instead, like the fool he is, he turns on his heel and begins to run, making sure not to slip on the ice.

Jaehyun laughs, chasing after him. 

“You know you just answered my question right?” He yells.

“No!” Jacob yells back. 

“It’s me isn’t it?”

“Shut up,” He groans, beelining towards his apartment.

Out of breath, Jacob leans against his front door, waiting for Jaehyun to also climb up the stairs and catch up with him. After a second or two–Jaehyun runs fast, he’s realized–the man stands before him, his hair tousled and speckled with snow.

“It’s not you,” Jacob breathes out.

Jaehyun huffs out a laugh, leaning against the nearby wall to catch his breath. “Then who is it?”

Jacob’s about to name some random celebrity but then Jaehyun gasps.

“Don’t tell me it’s someone else who did the leaning thing?”

Jacob gawks at him. “What is up with you and the leaning thing? Who even invented that?”

Jaehyun steps closer. “You didn’t answer my question.”

He bites his lip unintentionally. Jaehyun’s gaze wanders down to his lips as a result, his eyes full of interest, much to Jacob’s demise. He steps backward and exhales shakily.

“Can you…” He pauses briefly, trying to ignore the way Jaehyun’s staring down at him in such an exhilarating way. “...maybe demonstrate it again?”

“What? The leaning thing?” Jaehyun gives him a small smirk, making Jacob want to open the door and hide away in his apartment forever.

“The leaning thing,” He breathes.

Now, without Jaehyun describing his every move like before, he demonstrates quietly. All Jacob can hear is his own heartbeat in his ears and the shuffling of their clothes. Slowly though, there are more noises: the sound of his own footsteps as he steps backward and the sound of Jaehyun’s shoes as he corners him into the wall; the small chuckle that Jaehyun lets out when Jacob tries so desperately to break eye contact only for him to inevitably fail; the shift of Jaehyun’s coat as he tilts his head ever so closer.

And then he leans–even closer this time which causes Jacob to hold his breath. And just like before, he shuts his eyes. But maybe this time, it isn’t on instinct. Maybe Jacob wants more.

“Someone else did this to you?” Jaehyun whispers.

Jacob peeks an eye open and nods quietly.

“Yes.”

Jaehyun laughs quietly, setting a hand on the wall to balance himself from possibly stumbling and leading to an impromptu kiss. Jacob’s not sure if he would be completely opposed to that.

Now caged under Jaehyun, Jacob feels even more nervous–so nervous that he feels weak in every limb of his body.

“Now that I think about it, you’re not the best liar.” The man grins, his eyes wandering over Jacob’s features with endearment in them.

Jacob rolls his eyes, ignoring the way his heart practically jumpstarts at every single move that he makes. “Yeah, well. Surprised?”

Jaehyun tilts his head. “A little surprised, yeah, considering you managed to trick me for so long.”

Jacob prays that his neighbor who lives across from him–who climbs these same stairs–doesn’t suddenly appear and witness him being pinned to a wall. He might as well move out at that point. Even when Jacob can just push Jaehyun off or politely tell him to lean back, he doesn’t. He wonders if this experience might help him in his song lyrics. 

Suddenly though, Jaehyun straightens up himself. His eyes are wide and his lips are parted as if something’s dawned on him. Jacob’s not too sure what because he’s pretty sure he told all of his secrets.

“Am I the one you’ve fallen in love with?”

Jacob freezes at that. Okay, so not all of his secrets. He’s not even focused on the fact that Jaehyun was in fact, the one who heard him in the hospital room. He’s more focused on the fact that Jaehyun is annoyingly good at figuring out that Jacob might have a giant crush on him. He should be well-versed in crime and investigations, not Jacob’s embarrassingly growing feelings.

He grimaces and reaches backward, grabbing hold of the door handle.

“Good night,” He curtly replies, turning around and jiggling the handle because he completely forgets he needs his key to open the door. After fumbling and finally unlocking it, he goes rigid once again when he senses Jaehyun leaning close for the third time this evening. 

Jacob stares, his eyes wandering down to his lips. He begins to wonder if–

But then, the click of the door breaks him out of his trance. Ah. He was opening the door for him. Of course.

Jaehyun smirks teasingly.

“Good night.” 

Jacob hates to admit it but after he shut the door, he most definitely slid down it with a lovesick smile.

The next day, Jacob walks out of his apartment, his mouth wide open in a yawn. As he adjusts his coat–now that he’s learned his lesson the night before–and heads down the stairs, he almost trips on the very last one when he sees a familiar man leaning against the railing, waiting for him.

He’s dressed in a suit this time–a great polar opposite to his police uniform. Jacob looks him over. He’s handsome in a suit too.

“Hi,” Jacob greets.

“Hey, fake fiance.”

Jacob sighs. “Don’t call me that,” He grits out.

Jaehyun shrugs, walking alongside him to the train station. “Well at least I know that you’re actually single.”

Jacob eyes him weirdly. “And how’s that important?”

“It’s important to me.”

Now, Jacob’s genuinely curious.“Why?”

It seems that Jaehyun isn’t very keen on answering that question as he suddenly clears his throat and pulls on his collar in a flustered way. He glances away, his ears tinted a slight red.

“N-nothing,” He stutters. “Just… let me walk you to work.”

Jacob stares at him with a blank face. But soon enough, without even realizing it, his parted lips grow into a fond smile. He likes it when Jaehyun’s flustered or shy. It’s a whole new world. It’s adorable.

“Ah but there’s really no need,” He finally says. “If you have some place to be…” He motions to Jaehyun’s attire. Is his suit tailored? Why does it fit so nicely around his body?

Jaehyun shakes his head, giving him a soft smile. “I want to.”

Now Jacob’s shy, much to his disliking. It’s not that he particularly doesn’t like the feeling of being embarrassed since he’s pretty sure that’s a perfectly normal human emotion. He simply doesn’t like that Jaehyun, who’s oh so attentive, quickly notices and teases him about it almost immediately.

“Why so shy?” He grins.

“I’m not.” He so is.

“You so are. Has anyone told you that you’re cute when shy?”

“I don’t…” Jacob cuts himself off with a frustrated groan. “No, noone. You’re the first.”

Jaehyun laughs. “I love being your first.”

“First what?”

“First… everything.” He winks. “First hug of the day, for example.”

Jacob’s about to question him but instead, he yelps because he feels a gentle hand close around his waist, pulling him into a, well, hug. Jacob stiffens for a second before ultimately relaxing into his warmth.

“Jaehyun,” He huffs, muffled into his shoulder. “We’re going to be late.”

“You’re right.” He pouts as he pulls away. Jacob laughs in response. “Ah?” He teases. “First laugh of the day because of me?”

“You’re insufferable.”

“But you’re smiling.”

Jacob chooses to ignore the man as they reach the entrance of the train station. While they wait for the train, Jacob turns to Jaehyun again.

“What’s the suit for?” He finally asks, deciding to satiate his curiosity.

Jaehyun gives him a smug look. “Why, like how it looks?” However, when Jacob only gives him a completely unimpressed look, Jaehyun is forced to continue with a sulky expression. He always gets grumpy when Jacob doesn’t react to his flirting. 

“I have a meeting today. And after I visit Juyeon, I’m free.” He pauses, leaning slightly closer and looking straight into Jacob’s eyes. “If you were wondering.”

Jacob looks away, scowling.

“I was not.”

But apparently, now that Jaehyun’s aware that he’s single, he has all the more reason to continue to flirt with him. Jacob isn’t sure what to feel about that. Confusion? Definitely. Giddiness? Maybe.

As they take their seat on the train, side-by-side, they practically replicate the first time they did so. Jaehyun forgot his earphones at home so Jacob offered to share. They peacefully sit together, watching the view go by. Up until Jacob yawns again. 

He forgot to mention that after he slid down the door with a lovesick smile, he also stayed up way past his normal bedtime with new inspiration for his lyrics. Most of them pertain to love and feelings.

“Sleepy?” Jaehyun interrupts his thoughts, a gentle look on his expression.

Jacob nods. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be,” He chuckles. “Use my shoulder if you want.” He leans to the side, allowing Jacob the choice to lay his head on his broad shoulder. Jacob’s daydreamed about this moment happening far too many times so he gladly takes the opportunity. Though, still a bit shy, he cozies himself up to Jaehyun’s side, already feeling his eyes grow heavier and heavier until the only thing he can see is the backs of his eyelids, occasionally flashing whenever they exit a tunnel.

Jacob can feel it. He can feel the slightly rough material of Jaehyun’s suit on his cheek and the warmth of Jaehyun’s hands as he covers Jacob’s to keep him from possibly getting frostbite. He can feel the slightly rough path of confusion and feelings that they’ve traveled to get here and the warmth of Jaehyun’s smile in Jacob’s dreams. Even under the bitter, stinging cold that might cause numbness, when Jacob’s with Jaehyun, all he can do is feel.

Jaehyun has to grab hold of his hand to help him off the train. Apparently, his shoulder’s so comfortable, that Jacob’s lost all sense of direction and consciousness.

After a while though, once the winter air begins to familiarly bite at his cheeks, he manages to wake up.

“You know, I genuinely thought you were cheating at first,” Jaehyun speaks up, eyeing him knowingly.

“On a person like Juyeon? Never,” Jacob laughs. “He deserves the world.”

Jaehyun smiles. “How long have you known him?”

“I didn’t really know him per se, but I’ve watched him from afar for almost a year now,” He replies. “Not in a creepy way, of course.”

Jaehyun looks at him teasingly. “And then you became his fiance one fateful night.”

“Stop,” Jacob grumbles, kicking a pebble away. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

Surprisingly, Jaehyun complies, keeping quiet as they head down the sidewalk towards Jacob’s workplace. But when Jacob takes a glance at him, that’s when he realizes that he’s being quiet for a reason. He’s thinking about something and Jacob isn’t too excited about finding out what.

Jaehyun suddenly turns to him, a glint in his eye.

“So who were you talking about when you said you fell in love with someone else?”

Jacob bites his lip and winces. He crosses his arms over his chest as if they’ll somehow shield his very transparent feelings for Jaehyun.

“No one.”

“Really?” Jaehyun says with a sarcastic, though lighthearted tone. “No one? ”

Jacob looks up at him in slight hope. “Ryan Gosling in La La Land?”

Jaehyun blinks. “Fair point. But no.”

Worth a shot, Jacob thinks.

“I know you’re lying.”

“How do you know?” Jacob narrows his eyes at him.

Suddenly, out of who knows where, a bicycle whooshes by. There’s a bike lane for a reason, Jacob complains to himself just moments before he loses his balance. Jaehyun’s quick to steady him though, wrapping a strong arm around his waist and pulling him close–so close that they’re practically chest-to-chest.

Jacob inhales sharply once he realizes the position that they’re in. It’s not something your average passerby would like to witness: two men, one dressed pristinely in a suit and the other, cozied up in a coat, standing so close to each other in the middle of the sidewalk that they just might kiss.

With wide eyes, Jacob finally makes the choice to look up into his eyes which he immediately regrets because Jaehyun’s staring back with an even fonder gaze. With a shaky exhale, Jacob tears his gaze away, his cheeks growing hot.

“You avoid eye contact when you lie,” Jaehyun finally whispers. In the corner of his eye, Jacob can see that signature smirk of his.

“I don’t."

“You’re doing it right now.”

Jacob turns to look at him again, but this time with a look of determination. Though, it’s probably not effective. Younghoon once said that his glare isn’t the scariest.

“That’s for a different reason,” He states.

“And what reason is that?” Jaehyun tilts his head.

“Your eyes.” Jacob peers at them, ignoring the buzzing of his skin where Jaehyun’s fingertips slightly lifted up his coat and shirt. “They’re pretty.”

Now, Jaehyun’s the one who’s taken aback. With red ears, he pulls away, but not before somehow feeling up Jacob’s whole waist. So he likes holding waists, Jacob makes a mental note.

They’re both shy now, which Jacob finds all too amusing. Jaehyun, who bites his own words, can’t look him in the eye anymore and Jacob finds that his hands still feel jittery after that bicycle incident. They continue walking, silently hoping that no fellow citizen would notice and point out their stupidly shy smiles.

“You could stare at my lips instead,” Jaehyun suddenly blurts out.

Jacob stares at him before shaking his head. “You’re ridiculous.” He turns away, realizing that they’ve arrived at his building. “I have to go now,” He says softly. His brief sarcastic demeanor quickly melts back into its shy state as Jacob shifts on his feet with a shy smile.

He feels like a young teenager in love all of a sudden—the type who kicks their feet in their bed and daydreams constantly.

Jaehyun smiles back, a soft look in his eyes.

“I’ll see you after work?” He asks, fixing his hair.

In the time that he’s known Jaehyun, he’s come to learn more and more about himself. Like how he can commonly mistake his pounding feelings for a heart attack. Younghoon once saw his search history. 

Jacob giggles. He giggles too, apparently. “Mhm. See you after work.” 

“You’re smiling again,” Younghoon groans, poking Jacob’s cheek and snapping him out of his lovesick daydream.

They’re supposed to be working on a new song right now. Jacob thinks that he’s being pretty productive but Younghoon seems to think otherwise, saying that he’s being “too distracted.” But he’s writing lyrics is he not? They’re just a bit… too romantic.

“How many times are you going to rhyme with the word love?” Younghoon peers over his notebook.

Jacob blinks. “I didn’t realize.”

“Of course you didn’t.” He rolls his eyes. “You’re too busy thinking about him.”

Jacob sighs, thumping face-first on the desk. “How can I not?”

Just as expected, Jaehyun’s waiting outside for him after work. His hair’s a lot messier than when Jacob’s last saw him. He looks more like a puppy this way. Not that Jacob would ever say that out loud.

“Hey Jacob?” He asks as they’re walking along the river–the same path that they’ve walked three nights in a row that led Jacob to finally admit the truth.

“Yeah?”

“What do you want for Christmas?”

Jacob stares ahead for a moment, contemplating what his answer should be. Finally, he turns back to him.

“Nothing. I just want to be with you.”

Jaehyun grins cheekily, nudging him slightly by the shoulder. “And only me? Are you asking me out right now?”

Jacob starts sputtering incoherently as he shoves Jaehyun weakly. Is it weird that he said that? Would Jaehyun think that he’s going too fast? “A-and the three boys too. That was a mista–”

“I want to be with you too,” Jaehyun interrupts him, his voice soft. And just like that, all of Jacob’s doubts disappear. The taller man looks up to where the moon sits in the sky, bright and beautiful. Its light shines beautifully on Jaehyun’s features, most notably, his pink-tinted cheeks. Jacob’s about to say something but Jaehyun gazes at him with a longing look in his eyes. “And not just for a Christmas gift.”

Jacob exhales shakily as he stays quiet. He feels giddy all over, don’t get him wrong, but he can’t say much at the moment with how many emotions he’s feeling right now. Instead, he chooses to lean his head on Jaehyun’s shoulder as they continue to walk.

And almost as if it’s the most natural thing to do, Jaehyun reaches down and takes hold of Jacob’s hand. He intertwines their fingers, holding their hands up for Jacob to see. He smiles at the sight, biting his lip shyly.

“There’s really nothing I can get you for Christmas?” Jaehyun asks eventually once they draw closer to his apartment. He squeezes his hand occasionally in which Jacob will playfully do the same back.

“I don’t need much.”

“What about a kiss?”

Jacob almost lets go of Jaehyun’s hand in sheer shock–he fails because Jaehyun only tightens his hold on his hand.

“A what? ”

Jaehyun looks at him as if what he just said is a normal everyday thing to say. “I can offer you that. A kiss,” He clarifies once again.

“That’s so sudden,” Jacob breathes, though his eyes keep wandering down to his lips anyway.

Jaehyun suddenly stops, just before the stairs to his apartment. He smiles softly.

“Looks like we’re here.” And then he leans forward, his gaze traveling slowly over Jacob’s features. He tilts his head in a teasing way that makes Jacob gulp thickly. “Maybe you want that offer now? I definitely wouldn’t be opposed.” His voice is low and quiet.

“Jaehyun,” Jacob shakily whispers, unable to keep his eyes away from his lips, especially the bottom one.

“Remember when I said I love being your first? I could be your first kiss.” Jaehyun grins. “Unless you’ve already…” 

Jacob winces at the memory that comes rushing back. His first kiss was… not great. It was awkward and reeked of adolescence and amateurness. He likes to consider that it wasn’t his first kiss at all.

“I did. A while ago.”

“Was it good?” Jaehyun steps closer with a knowing smile.

Jacob grimaces further. He already can predict what Jaehyun’s going to say.

“No.”

“So can I prove that I’m better?”

“Jaehyun.” Jacob scowls at him, trying his best to look intimidating. Though, he’s pretty sure he’s severely failing because his cheeks must be bright red right now.

“Alright, alright,” Jaehyun laughs. “I’ll wait.”

Wait. Jacob’s mind repeats that word over and over again. Jaehyun’s going to… wait for him. This isn’t some quick fling for the serotonin that people search for during the holidays. This is real, something worth spending time on. Jacob bites back a smile. He likes the idea of that.

He likes the idea so much that when Jaehyun lets go of his hand to turn back and head home, Jacob finds himself reaching for it once again. Jaehyun looks at him in slight surprise.

“Wait.” 

Wait for me again.

“Do you… want to come in for a bit?” He gestures to his door.

“Really? For what?” Jacob knows Jaehyun doesn’t need a specific excuse. But he also knows that he likes to tease.

“Because I might miss you,” He replies quietly.

Jacob expects the man to tease him about his honest response but instead, he steps forward, bringing his hands up to cup the sides of his face. His hands are smooth and slightly cold as his fingertips caress his cheek. He looks him in the eyes. “You can always have me. Whenever you’re ready.”

Jacob’s throat goes dry and he abruptly pulls away to head up to his apartment. Jaehyun will forever be the death of him.

As they enter his apartment, Jacob’s reminded of the previous time when Jaehyun gifted him that record player. Judging by Jaehyun’s reaction to the truth, maybe he doesn’t have to give it back after all. It still sits on a small table, always playing calming music. His favorite record has to be the one that Jaehyun chose.

His eyes wander to where a star that’s supposed to be on top of the tree, is now sitting sadly on the floor. Jacob smiles awkwardly, tidying up clothes and fallen decorations because he ran out of tape before making his way to where the Christmas tree is. It’s not the best, but it works.

“Sorry about the mess.” He glances back to where Jaehyun’s finally taking the time to look at his apartment. There’s a fond smile on his face as he looks at where Jacob has his childhood pictures framed.

“First place in songwriting contest…” Jaehyun reads to himself, squinting at one of the awards that he earned when in high school. He looks at Jacob in wonder. “So you’ve always dreamed of this.”

Jacob laughs, reaching down to pick up the star. “Of course I have. Same for you?”

Jaehyun shrugs. “I like protecting others. Especially Juyeon. So I made it my job.”

Jacob hums as he reaches his arm up to place the star back on the tree. The tree may not look as good but it’s still tall and so Jacob has to tiptoe to even reach the top. Suddenly though, he feels a familiar and comforting presence behind him. A hand takes the star from him and Jacob watches, wide-eyed, as Jaehyun puts the star back with ease. And yet again, his other hand brushes over his waist, leaving shivers down his spine.

“Thank you,” Jacob mutters shyly.

“Of course,” Jaehyun smiles. Then, instead of just brushing over his waist, he hooks an arm around it, pulling him close. Jacob squeaks in surprise, looking up at Jaehyun with round eyes. “You can thank me in a different way.” He leans close, pointing to his cheek.

Jacob knows that he’s just joking and that he doesn’t actually expect him to do so. But, he does it anyway, finding himself entranced by his warmth and cologne. Leaning in, he presses a soft kiss to his cheek, lingering there for a moment before pulling away with a shy smile.

Jaehyun freezes, unintentionally tightening his hold on his waist.

“Wow,” He whispers, his eyes adorably wide. “I didn’t think you woul–.”

“Think again.” Jacob gives him a teasing look, patting his shoulder before escaping his hold to properly hang up his coat. When he turns back, he suppresses a giggle when he sees that Jaehyun’s still frozen there, his ears a bright red, almost matching some of his Christmas decorations.

After hanging up his coat, Jacob notices a stray letter lying on the floor. He rarely ever gets mail. Usually, it’s just taxes or coupons that are always outdated anyway.

He picks it up and tears it open. Jaehyun’s now sitting on his couch, his ears still red, and now avoiding Jacob’s gaze whenever he can. Who knew that a simple kiss on the cheek would affect him so much?

It looks almost like an invite to something. Jacob’s eyes scan over the words, written in fancy cursive. And then his eyes grow wide as he steps backward in disbelief.

“Oh no,” He mutters in horror. “No, no, no, no.”

“Is something wrong?” Jaehyun sits up, the protective side of him immediately appearing with a stern look on his face.

“My mom found out,” Jacob panics. “She thinks that I’m about to get married to Juyeon and wants to celebrate. She’s–” A small smile grows on his lips despite his stressed state. “She’s in town for a party.” And just like a rollercoaster, his emotions go downhill once again. “And she wants me to bring him.”

Jaehyun eyes him sympathetically. Jacob completely forgets that the only people who know the truth are Younghoon and Jaehyun. He’s yet to tell the three boys and he cannot even fathom how his parents managed to find out. 

Jacob groans as he sits down next to Jaehyun. A small white lie, he once said. 

“Just tell her that you can’t go.” 

“But I–” Jacob pouts. “I want to. I haven’t seen my family for years. I just… don’t want to tell so many people that Juyeon’s in a coma.”

Jaehyun nods in understanding. He thinks for a moment. 

“Then take me,” He offers with a twinkle in his eyes. “I’ll be your fake fiance.”

Jacob’s eyes brighten just as his. Without realizing it, he shifts even closer to Jaehyun in excitement. He doesn’t notice Jaehyun begin to blush and let his gaze fall briefly down to his lips.

“Would you really?” He leans even closer.

“Mhm.” Jaehyun’s voice is shakier than usual.

And yet again, without thinking, he lunges forward and wraps his arms around Jaehyun’s neck. Burying his face into his shoulder, he smiles widely.

“Thank you, Jaehyun.”

“Of course,” Jaehyun laughs. “Anything for you.” He feels his arms snake around his body, hugging him even closer. At some point, they began to lose balance from Jacob accidentally leaning forward too much. In a split second, Jacob ends up on top of Jaehyun, who’s now lying back on the couch.

“Hello there.” Jaehyun gazes at him softly.

“Hi,” Jacob giggles. 

And for just a brief moment–or maybe much longer–Jacob contemplates kissing him right then and there. 

Jacob stands before the entrance of the party. It isn’t like those house parties held in gigantic apartment penthouses. This one, taking place in the more suburban area of the city, is in a warm-looking family house. There are Christmas decorations set up outside like the inflatable snowman that looks like it’s on the verge of collapsing and the warm lighting emitting from the house gives it that cozy look. Even standing out in the snow, Jacob can hear the joyful chatter of the guests inside and he can see the silhouettes of their laughing figures.

Still, no matter how comforting it seems, he can’t help but let out a shaky breath, watching as it creates a cloud of vapor around his mouth. Jaehyun appears beside him after parking the car. He’s dressed charmingly, with a more formal-looking coat over his turtleneck. Jacob likes to say he put more effort into his looks as well, though he still opts for a warm sweater with his normal overcoat. He did try to style his hair a bit, parted slightly away from his forehead.

“You okay?” Jaehyun asks, noticing his anxiousness.

“Yeah.” Jacob rocks on his feet. “Yeah, I’m just… nervous. It’s been a while.” 

Jaehyun smiles softly, a distant look in his eyes. “It’s been a while for me too.”

Jacob briefly recalls Jaehyun’s family background, realizing that Jaehyun’s also been lonely and probably for much longer. He gives him a small frown. 

“We don’t have to do this,” He replies. “If you aren’t comfortable.”

“What do you mean?” Jaehyun smirks cheekily. “I would love to fake date you. Or better yet, just date you.”

Jacob huffs, ignoring the rapid beating of his heart. “I meant–”

“I know what you mean.” Jaehyun’s smirk turns into a genuine smile. “And don’t worry. I’m okay.”

Jacob smiles with relief before reaching forward and taking Jaehyun’s hand in his. He knocks on the door and is greeted by a man who Jacob used to play chess with as a kid. He never won. Then, he leads Jaehyun further into the party, weaving past several people, some he doesn’t recognize and some… fellow neighbors from his childhood.

An elderly lady comes up to the pair with a welcoming smile, holding onto a mug of hot chocolate. Jacob immediately recognizes her. She lived right next door and she would always bake warm pies for him every Sunday morning. Now that Jacob thinks about it, she never had children. Maybe that was why she adored him so much.

“My dear! You’ve grown up so much!” She beams brightly, pulling Jacob into a hug. He’s much taller now, having to bend forward to return the hug. She looks him over fondly, patting down his hair lovingly. “I remember when you were so scrawny just before you left for college.”

“Hi auntie.” Jacob grins. “I missed you.”

“It’s been too long, dear,” She sighs. Then, she turns her attention to Jaehyun who’s standing behind Jacob awkwardly. “This must be your fiance! His name… Juyeon, correct?”

Jacob and Jaehyun share confused glances for a second before Jacob gasps silently in realization.

“Oh, yes! Juyeon.” He hooks an arm with Jaehyun’s holding him close with an awkward smile. “My fiance.” He completely misses the way Jaehyun stares down at their linked arms with a shy expression.

“He’s a handsome young man,” She marvels, her eyes sparkling.

Jacob grins. “He is, isn’t he? Very handsome.” He eyes the man teasingly, even nuzzling up to his side to which he rolls his eyes, embarrassed. 

After chatting with other relatives and neighbors that Jacob recognizes, he takes hold of Jaehyun’s hand once again and leads him to a more secluded area so that they can catch a breather.

“We didn’t think this through enough,” Jaehyun suddenly panics. “I’m pretty sure we gave three people each different stories of how we met.”

Jacob laughs loudly. “First was at the ice cream shop.” They told this to one of Jacob’s aunts who always disliked anything crazy. Jacob needed to think of a boring story much akin to her.

“Very original idea.” They both know what he’s talking about, recalling their first encounter in Jaehyun’s car.

“And then we told the other guy that we met while bungee jumping,” Jacob wheezes. He was an old man who worked at the local car repair shop. He always loved stories about adventures, no matter how erratic they may sound.

“You would never go bungee jumping,” Jaehyun grumbles.

“And last was… what was it? Oh– in an adult club in Tokyo.” He told this to a girl that was similar to his age. They used to go to school together and he once saw her stealing alcohol from her dad’s collection.

Jaehyun nods, clearly stressed. Then he pauses and narrows his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest. “You’re having fun with this aren’t you?”

Jacob nods smugly. “I so am. It’s easy to just roll with whatever they want.”

Jaehyun groans. “But I’m used to having an intricate plan and procedure.”

“Look, as much as you’re a hot cop, forget that for a second.” Jacob gives him a faked stern glare as he speaks in a hushed tone. “Be my fiance.”

Jaehyun pauses. And then a familiar smirk grows on his lips as he wiggles his eyebrows.

“No one told me you’re that attractive when mad.” He pulls Jacob closer by the loophole of his pants, causing him to stumble slightly. Jaehyun gazes at him teasingly. “Use that tone again. But this time, say ‘kneel down for me–”

“Jaehyun.” 

“Fine, fine,” He snickers, allowing Jacob to intertwine their fingers and lead him further into the house but not before whispering a sly, “You know I’d do whatever you say.” Jacob squeezes his eyes shut both in embarrassment and to try to block out the less-than-appropriate image that appears in his head.

Jacob comes to a screeching halt when he sees two familiar figures. Jaehyun peers over his shoulder and immediately, he can tell who they are. The man has Jacob’s features while the woman has his beautiful smile. 

“Mom,” Jacob breathes, his eyes adorably bright.

The woman turns around and she smiles endearingly at the sight of her son. “Oh, my Jacob!” She cries, already holding her arms out to pull Jacob into a tight hug. Blinking back her tears, she pulls away whilst holding onto Jacob’s shoulders. She scans him over before smiling even wider. “I’ve missed you so much.”

“Me too,” Jacob whines. Jaehyun finds the sight all too adorable, seeing the Jacob who’s so quick to reject his flirting attempts with a scowl, easily melt and pout when with his mother.

His father, though a bit stern-looking, easily has a soft side to him when he sees Jacob. “Work’s been treating you well?” 

Jacob shrugs. “It’s been… busy.”

His mother turns away from Jacob to look at Jaehyun who’s been standing there for a while, shifting on his feet unsurely. Jaehyun’s eyes widen before he gives a polite smile. She smiles back, stepping away from her son to approach him.

“I see,” She laughs. “Busy with someone else.”

Jacob rolls his eyes fondly. “Right, I forgot to introduce you to my fiance, Ja– Juyeon.”

“So you must be the one making Jacob smile.” His father steps forward, reaching out a hand for him to shake. “Without you, he might just lock himself up in his room like he always did when he was younger.”

“I was writing lyrics,” Jacob grumbles. Jaehyun laughs dearly at their heart-warming interactions.

“He’s so tall!” His mom fawns, her eyes glittering with interest.

Jacob nods, smiling almost proudly. “And incredibly handsome. Like a prince.”

Jaehyun scowls at him at which Jacob only snickers to himself.

“Does he treat you well?” She glances back at Jacob.

“He does.”

And this time, Jacob and Jaehyun exchange looks filled with sweet smiles full of admiration. It seems that for both of them, multiple memories of their time spent together suddenly came rushing back. The teasing, jokes, smiles, silent care for each other… It was all worth it.

“And what’s your job, son?” His father speaks up.

“I’m a police officer, sir.”

“Been through training?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Then we should arm wrestle one day.” The man gives him a cheeky smile which his wife scowls and slaps him in disapproval. Jaehyun snorts, finding the sight to be a great parallel to him and Jacob.

“We’d love to get to know you more. But I’m sure you have other people to meet, dear.” His mom gives him a smile so kind and so warm, that Jaehyun’s chest feels light. He’s missed this. 

Then, she turns around to face Jacob. “I have to show you something.” She grins, leading Jacob away from Jaehyun and further into the crowd. When Jacob glances back at Jaehyun worriedly, he only waves him off with a soft smile.

“Wait for me,” He mouths.

“I will,” Jaehyun mouths back.

Jaehyun leans against the wall and whispers to himself with a soft smile, adding to his previous statement.

“Always.”

Still leaning against the wall, Jaehyun tries not to stare at Jacob. It’s not like he doesn’t always already–he really loves Jacob’s side profile. But, at this particular moment, it’s a bit difficult to do. Jacob’s wandering around the party with his parents, laughing and smiling. Jaehyun sighs to himself. Sometimes he wonders what it would be like if he could experience the same thing.

Just as Jaehyun’s about to force his eyes away from Jacob’s pretty smile, he suddenly turns and catches his eye. Jaehyun freezes, straightening up in surprise. He watches as he whispers something to his parents and walks away from them and… toward him.

“You waited for me.”

Jaehyun laughs. “Of course.”

“Thank you.” Jacob smiles prettily.

“And thank you,” Jaehyun whispers, loud enough so that only Jacob can hear. “Enjoying yourself?”

Jacob bites his lip and thinks for a moment. “I am… but not as much when I’m without you. So stay by me.” He grabs hold of his hand and guides Jaehyun away and closer to the door.

“What about your parents?”

“They’re busy taste-testing all the different wines.” Jacob rolls his eyes. “Let’s take a walk.”

Jaehyun easily complies, finding that the chatter and glasses clinking have grown a bit too loud for his liking. Just as they’re about to step out of the house, they’re stopped at the door. 

“The mistletoe!” Someone calls out, loud enough to unfortunately grab the attention of everyone else in the room. And just like that, everyone’s eyes are on them, cheering on expectantly.

The both of them look up just to confirm and there it is, hanging just over their heads. Jaehyun swallows thickly and he looks back down to where Jacob’s staring back, wide-eyed and adorable. Neither of them realize it but they both begin to inch closer and closer until the front of their shoes touch–until their lips almost touch.

Jaehyun breathes out shakily, his gaze traveling down to Jacob’s very inviting lips. He hates (loves) that Jacob has the habit of pouting them whenever Jaehyun takes even the slightest glance at them.

“Is this okay?” He whispers, leaning ever so closer. He swears he hears someone in the crowd faint and another person go “ooooooooh!”

“I…” Jacob stutters, his eyes frantically searching his in what Jaehyun can tell is nervousness. A kiss should never ideally be in front of a large crowd. 

“Don’t worry.” Jaehyun’s eyes soften, reading his mind almost immediately. “Me too. Let’s wait for the right moment.”

And before anyone can protest or pressure them further, Jaehyun takes Jacob’s hand in his and leads him out of the house. They stumble down the stairs, giggling when they hear the disappointed “aws” and other cries in the background. Once they’re sure that they’re out of anyone’s sight, Jacob collapses and buries his face in Jaehyun’s chest, laughing so hard that tears spring into his eyes.

“Let’s actually walk now, shall we?” Jaehyun grins.

The scene is nothing short of a Christmas dream–a white Christmas more specifically as the snow sparkles on the ground even when the sun is long gone. The only lighting provided is the dim street lights, some broken and flickering. Jacob loves it anyway anyway.

The walkway, plowed clear of snow crunches under their shoes. Jacob sighs in contentment. It’s the perfect way to spend Christmas Eve. He got to see his parents whom he’s missed so much and now he gets to walk alongside the man that he may have fallen in love with. For the first time in such a long time, he isn’t lonely. Instead, he feels warmth. He feels it in the words that he’s exchanged with the people he holds dear and he feels it in his hand, which Jaehyun’s holding tightly onto.

“They must’ve been confused,” Jacob laughs, interrupting the comfortable silence.

Jaehyun turns to him and smiles widely. Jacob finds him adorable with his red-tinted nose.

“So let them be confused,” He jokes.

Jacob giggles, bumping into Jaehyun’s side playfully. His cheeks have started to hurt from smiling so much. He just feels so… incredibly happy right now. The scenery is beautiful. Jaehyun’s beautiful. Everything’s beautiful.

He gazes back at Jaehyun, admiring his handsome features and the sparkle of his eyes. Even though he physically can’t see it, he also admires his character: his endless kindness and his superpower to make Jacob smile and kick around in the sheets. To think that this is the same man who only treated him platonically because he thought that he was engaged to his brother is an… interesting story to tell.

He feels something cold on his nose. Jacob looks up, only to see the beautiful sight of snow that’s begun to fall from the sky, tickling his face with speckles of cold.

“You’re like snow.” 

Jaehyun snorts. “C’mon, I can’t be that pale.”

“No! I mean–” Jacob smiles softly. “You seem cold but you easily melt.”

“Melt?” Jaehyun furrows his eyebrows. “For what?”

“Not for what.” Jacob eyes him with amusement. “For who.”

It takes the man a minute to realize what he’s saying. And then he mutters a small “oh” as he looks away abruptly. They both know the answer. Jaehyun, the policeman with a stern look when protective, easily melts for Jacob, a simple man who writes lyrics and bakes cookies.

“You’re blushing.” Jacob grins, making a mental memory of Jaehyun’s reddening cheeks.

Jaehyun stutters, tightening his hold on Jacob’s hand. “It’s because it’s cold.”

“Sure, Jaehyun.” 

“You’re pretty,” Jaehyun suddenly blurts out. 

Jacob stares at him apathetically. “Don’t try to turn this on me.”

The man huffs as he reaches a hand out to catch some of the snowflakes. “It was worth a try.”

Jacob stops and lets go of his hand, leaving Jaehyun to longingly chase after his touch. He chuckles to himself as he wanders away from the path to fix a snowman that has fallen apart. Mostly, it was just the carrot that was missing, somehow buried in the snow. Jacob doesn’t notice as he pushes it back into the head, Jaehyun watching from afar, a stupidly fond look on his face.

When he runs back, Jaehyun immediately reaches forward for his hand as if it’s his lifeline. 

“Do you want to know something?” He asks, smiling down at Jacob.

“What?” 

Jaehyun leans close to his ear and whispers, “You made my whole year.”

Jacob’s eyes widen and he pulls away to stare at Jaehyun in shock. Jaehyun doesn’t seem fazed, only foolishly smiling with an enormous amount of affection. He tilts his head slightly. 

“We haven’t even known each other for a year,” He laughs bashfully.

“Yeah but I–” Jaehyun groans slightly. “The time I spend with you. I want it to last forever– longer. I can’t… get you out of my head. It’s not good for someone with a job like mine, you know.”

An image of Jaehyun appears in Jacob’s head–one where he’s on duty by making sure that everything’s in order. Everything usually is in order. Except for the fact that the policeman is smiling to himself like a fool. That’s a little odd.

Jacob humors himself on that image.

“You think of me? Romantically?”

“Of course I do,” Jaehyun replies, pouting slightly. “Well, of course not when I literally thought you were about to marry my brother. But after Younghoon told me the truth–”

It hits Jacob like a lightning bolt. He turns to him abruptly.

“You… knew already?”

Jaehyun grins and nods. Proudly, which only makes Jacob’s jaw drop even more. Offended, he reaches over and punches Jaehyun straight in the chest, causing him to yelp and wince. Jacob’s still holding onto his hand. He’d much rather no one mention that though.

“What do you mean you knew already?” Jacob whines. “And you– is that why you teased me? You pushed me to the brink so that I would fess up.”

Jaehyun smiles, reaching over–not to slap him like Jacob did–but instead, to swipe off some snow that’s landed on Jacob’s hair. He fondly looks at him while the shorter man is currently fuming with a (in Jaehyun’s opinion) very cute pout.

“It was cute,” He finally says. “You were so cute. That whole leaning thing? You looked like a deer in headlights.”

Jacob immediately turns away, flustered. “Shut up. And who told you again?” He knows exactly who. But he must completely confirm before he goes and whacks the wrong person with a pillow.

“Your dear friend, Younghoon,” Jaehyun unknowingly replies, completely oblivious to the beating that Younghoon will face in a few days.

“I hate him,” Jacob growls (in Jaehyun’s opinion yet again) very cutely. “I’m never writing a single song with him ever again.”

“C’mon,” Jaehyun chuckles. “Did you really think you could keep up the lie any longer?”

Jacob doesn’t have a response.

“Exactly.” Jaehyun grins knowingly. “I thought you were lovely.”

“What, for lying?” Jacob deadpans.

“Mmm… not that.” Jaehyun shakes his head, swinging their hands just for the fun of it. “But your reason for lying. You like being around us.”

“I do. I love it,” Jacob grumbles shyly. “Being around them… and you.”

At this point, they’ve stopped walking. It’s just the two of them, the snow falling prettily around the pair as they face each other, absolutely lovesick smiles on their faces. 

“You know…” Jaehyun looks down at him with amusement. “The whole time that I’ve known you, you lied somehow about your identity. Being some man’s fiance and then taking his older brother to be your fake fiance. Should I arrest you for identity theft?”

“Would you?”

“Never. Law enforcement can’t have you. Only I can,” He whispers, causing Jacob to laugh loudly.

“I lie because I… want to make others happy,” Jacob replies, smiling sincerely.

Jaehyun raises an eyebrow and there’s a growing smirk on his lips. Jacob’s not too sure what to feel about it. He’s always somehow up to something. Then, the man steps forward, close enough that Jacob’s faced only with his chest. But then, he feels a gentle finger under his chin that urges him to look up and into Jaehyun’s loving gaze.

“Then tell me something.”

Jacob holds his breath, his heartbeat speeding up.

Jaehyun continues to gaze at him fondly. “Tell me what makes Jacob happy.”

Normally, it would take Jacob a while to decide. There are a lot of things that make him happy. Music, for one thing. His family for another. Oh, and even those waffles that they sell on one of the streets that he frequently walks past.

But this time, standing in front of Jaehyun, the man who’s allowed him to feel so much more this holiday, Jacob chooses his answer almost immediately.

“You.”

Jaehyun laughs softly.

“Is that always your answer?”

“Yes,” Jacob huffs, furrowing his eyebrows. He’s very serious about this and he very much wants Jaehyun to be aware of that. “It’s always you. You’re the reason I smile, the reason that I don’t feel like a lonely mess during the holidays, hell, you’re even the reason why I tripped on the sidewalk today. It’s because I’m always thinking of you.” He lets out a deep breath after. He knows it’s the wrong time to mention this but he should definitely make this into a snippet for his lyrics.

Jaehyun’s eyes widen before he practically melts, his hand coming up to caress Jacob’s cheek this time. He stares into his eyes, his gaze full of love.

“You do know that I’m much, much worse,” He whispers. “You make me smile like an idiot that even Eric noticed. And you know he’s the oblivious one. You make my heart beat so fast that I searched up if it was a heart attack.” 

(Jacob and Jaehyun are hilariously similar.)

“My chief once made me go on break because he thought that I was running a fever. I was simply thinking of you.”

Jacob laughs, letting his hand trail down to intertwine their fingers just like they’ve done multiple times before.

“Are you saying that you feel the same?”

“Spell it out.”

Jacob takes in a deep breath, tilting his chin up further, his gaze following Jaehyun’s every move unsurely.

“I like you.”

Jaehyun on the contrary, tilts his chin down and leans in, his gaze fixed on Jacob’s eyes with confidence.

“I like you too.”

It feels like fireworks going off in Jacob’s chest. Their cheeks are rosy and warm, full of new-found feelings. With a shy smile, Jacob steps just a bit closer.

“Can we…?” He peers up at Jaehyun knowingly.

Jaehyun immediately understands what he’s trying to say and he smiles softly, raising his eyebrow. “Do you want to?” 

Ah, Jacob feels funny inside. He even asks before kissing. 

“Yes,” He breathes, looking up at Jaehyun with a growing want. “Please.” 

Jaehyun chuckles, scrunching his nose. He has a habit of doing that when he finds Jacob cute. “Then.” He grins, reaching into his pocket and pulling something out. He raises his arm, dangling it over their hands. “I came prepared.” 

Jacob furrows his eyebrows and looks up, blinking away the snow only to realize that it’s a mistletoe. The exact same mistletoe that the two of them stood under by accident earlier. He gapes at Jaehyun. “Did you steal that?”

Jaehyun smiles cheekily. “I had to,” He whispered. 

And without a warning, Jaehyun–who’s still holding up the mistletoe–hooks his other arm around Jacob’s waist. He pulls him in, close to his chest. Slowly and very gently, he leans in, pressing his lips to Jacob’s. 

The fireworks in Jacob’s chest go off tenfold now as he hums in contentment and lets his eyes flutter shut. He reaches his arms up and wraps them around Jaehyun’s neck, tilting his head further. There’s a smile that begins to grow on each of their lips as the snow falls around their figures.

Jaehyun’s hold on his waist tightens and he lets go of the mistletoe, letting it fall to the floor so that he can cup Jacob’s jaw gently, moving his lips slowly as if they have all the time in the world. Which, they do. There’s no rush, no pressure from others. It’s just them, exploring a new aspect of falling in love.

Jaehyun, the one to initiate it, is also the first one to break the kiss. He leans forward, resting his forehead on Jacob’s, staring into his eyes with sparkles in his own. 

“Merry Christmas, Jacob.”

Jacob smiles and responds by connecting their lips again.

“What the hell.” Even though Jacob’s standing a bit further away, he can somehow still see Sunwoo’s eye twitch. 

Jaehyun winces, giving the three boys a sheepish look. After talking it over and getting more accustomed to each other (kissing over and over again), the new couple finally decided to break the news to the “three musketeers.” They thought it best to do it in Jacob’s apartment, where Jaehyun can possibly wrestle them out and lock the door if they try to murder them.

While Sunwoo’s gaping at them with furrowed eyebrows, Haknyeon seems deep in thought. He doesn’t look mad which is a good thing, right? Jacob nervously turns to look at Eric, only to see him practically buzzing in his seat with an excited smile.

“This is so crazy!” He suddenly exclaims, causing everyone to jump. “That’s such a cute romance story, I’m jealous.”

Jacob raises an eyebrow skeptically. “You’re not… mad?”

And to their surprise, the three boys simply shrug, completely unbothered. 

“No, not really.” Haknyeon smiles kindly. “We understand you for the most part.”

“What don’t you understand?”

“Why you lied to us for so long,” Sunwoo laughs. “We wouldn’t be mad either way. We liked you as Jacob, not as Juyeon hyung’s fiance.”

“Oh,” Jacob sighs in relief. 

“And at least we know something else.” Eric wiggles his eyebrows, leaning forward with a sly look on his face. 

“What?” Jaehyun narrows his eyes suspiciously. He once said that out of all of the three boys, he would arrest Eric first. 

“That Jaehyun hyung has game!” He grins, causing Haknyeon and Sunwoo to cackle loudly. “We thought that he was awkward and couldn’t flirt for his life.” Now, they’re practically collapsing over each other, immediately noticing Jaehyun who’s blushing.

Haknyeon, through tears of laughter, turns to Jacob. “You do know that he’s never dated before?”

(“Not that I’m any better,” Sunwoo whispers to himself.

“Wanna date me?” Eric bats his eyes.

“Okay.”

“Just kiddi– what?”)

Jacob doesn’t notice that Sunwoo and Eric are oddly staring at each other with wide eyes and red cheeks. Instead, he focuses more on the fact that he completely forgot that yes, Jaehyun’s never dated before. The new revelation explains so much of Jaehyun’s cute habits ever since they started dating.

For one, Jaehyun almost always giggles shyly after kissing. After their first kiss, Jacob couldn’t stop smiling to himself. But Jaehyun? He was faring far worse. He couldn’t even look Jacob in the eye because he would turn into a shy mess.

Second, when Jacob compliments Jaehyun, he also, yet again, turns into a shy mess. One time, he told Jaehyun that he liked his hands and found his naturally curly hair pretty. Safe to say, he spent a good while hiding his face in his neck.

It’s like a whole new side of him. After they’ve started dating, the man, broad-shouldered and tall who might look intimidating, is actually a flustered heap of adorable affection.

“You’re right,” Jacob marvels in wonder. “He’s too shy to even kiss me.”

Jaehyun grumbles to himself, bringing his hands up to his face. The three boys only burst out into more laughter.

“I can’t wait for Juyeon to wake up,” Eric sighs. “He’s going to have the best story to listen to.”

Sunwoo nods and for some reason, his cheeks are still red. Is it cold? Jacob wonders. He turned up the heat too. 

“We should go,” Sunwoo speaks up.

Haknyeon looks at him in surprise. “Where? We didn’t plan–”

Sunwoo blushes even further and whispers something into his ear. Haknyeon’s jaw drops in response. 

“A date? ” He exclaims. “With–” Sunwoo hurriedly slaps a hand over his mouth, eyeing Eric in panic. 

Jacob laughs, finding the sight all too adorable. “Okay.” He smiles. “We’ll see you around then. Have fun on your date.”

Sunwoo nods quietly before taking a flustered Eric’s hand and leading him out the door. Haknyeon trails behind, snapping a picture of their connected hands before waving goodbye. 

“Are you third-wheeling?” Jacob laughs.

“Me? No, never!” Haknyeon smiles. “I’m going to just… take a few pictures in the background. Like their paparazzi.”

Jacob watches fondly as he walks out the door, leaving only Jaehyun in his apartment. He turns to him, only to yelp when the man suddenly tackles him down onto the couch. 

“Can I kiss you?”

Jacob stares at him in complete shock. “Y-you don’t have to ask anymore.”

Jaehyun hums before pulling Jacob into a rough kiss. His lips move fervently and his eyes are shut closed with focus. Jacob grins, easily returning it. When they break apart, slightly out of breath with spit-slicked lips, Jacob eyes him teasingly.

His memory flashes back to what he said earlier. 

He’s too shy to even kiss me.

“Was that to prove me wrong?”

“Don’t tease,” Jaehyun whines.

Jacob only laughs louder. “I’m sorry.” He pouts to only tease further. “I love you.” 

Jaehyun huffs grumpily, an endearing pout appearing on his lips.

 “I love you too.” 

Jacob rushes through the hospital halls, an excited smile spread over his lips. He’s long since memorized where Juyeon’s room is, no matter how many twists and turns there are. He pauses just before the door, taking a deep, nervous breath.

Then, he opens it and there Juyeon is, sitting up in bed. His cheeks are rosy now, full of color and his eyes are open and bright. The younger man looks up and smiles politely at the sight of Jacob. Surrounding him are, of course, Haknyeon, Sunwoo, and Eric, coddling over him.

Haknyeon’s babbling on and on about what he’s missed. Sunwoo’s smiling quietly to himself, leaning against the bed. And Eric… well he’s crying.

Jacob smiles in relief, approaching the man.

“You’re finally awake.”

Juyeon stares at him in slight confusion. For a second, Jacob fears he might have amnesia but then he gives him a small smile, holding his hand up to shake it.

“Jacob, right?” He asks with a kind tone. 

“Mhm.” Jacob grins, taking his hand.

Haknyeon leans in with a giddy smile. “He’s the one who saved your life,” He whispers.

Juyeon’s eyes widen and he sits up straighter. He somehow tries to bow while sitting in bed. It’s a funny sight.

“Thank you,” He says. “Thank you so much.”

Jacob laughs softly. “It was nothing. I’m just glad you’re okay.”

“Hyung,” Eric whines. “We have so much to tell you. Jaehyun hyung has a boyfri–”

They all freeze like a deer in headlights when Jaehyun suddenly appears behind Jacob. He wraps his arms around his waist, pulling him into a back hug before leaning in and pressing a soft kiss to his cheek.

Jacob laughs awkwardly, quickly noticing that Juyeon’s gaping at them, his eyebrows raised.

Jaehyun smiles, resting his chin on Jacob’s shoulder.

“Ju.” His older brother grins. “Feeling alright?”

“Decent,” Juyeon manages to say, his eyes more fixated on the strong arms around Jacob’s waist. “And you?”

“Great.” Jaehyun smirks.

It’s silent. Painfully silent. Eric’s practically brimming with the urge to blurt out everything while Sunwoo’s holding onto his hand, slapping his other hand over his mouth to prevent him from doing so. Haknyeon simply watches in amusement.

“So…” Juyeon motions to them ungracefully. “Jacob is your–”

“My boyfriend.”

Juyeon merely stares in shock.

“And he’s also your fake fiance.”

Jacob groans. He’s spent multiple times trying to convince Jaehyun not to tell Juyeon that whole situation when he wakes up. But of course, Jaehyun obnoxiously finds it too funny not to.

Juyeon blinks with a blank look on his face.

“My what?”

It’s so warm. Jacob will never stop saying that. And it’s not just for the symbolism like he usually uses in lyrics such as “my heart feels so warm.” It’s more like he is very literally, just warm. The blankets are wrapped over his figure and beside him is a man who feels like his own personal heater. It doesn’t help that said man is practically on top of him, unable to get his hands off some part of Jacob’s body. His fingertips wander over, even slipping under his shirt, causing shivers down his spine.

“It tickles,” Jacob mutters, squirming under his touch. He can feel Jaehyun’s lips on his neck where he’s buried his head in pulling into a smile.

“Why?” He whispers. “Don’t you like it?”

“I– I do.” Jacob pulls his head away so that he can properly look him in the eye. “It’s just…” He trails off, his cheeks starting to feel hot. “Why’re you looking at me like that?”

Jaehyun stares up at him. But he doesn’t just stare at him. He gazes at him sultrily. His eyes are hooded and there’s a lazy smile on his face.

“Because I want to kiss you.”

Jacob gulps and tries to pull the covers over his face to hide his reddening cheeks. But instead, Jaehyun who’s always been strong, holds up the covers so that there’s enough space for him to pin Jacob down to the bed. 

His hair falls attractively over his face as he smirks. Jacob sighs. Jaehyun may be a shy mess but sometimes, he can be like this–needy and shamelessly flirty. This Jaehyun is the one that Jacob struggles to handle. 

And then Jacob lets his eyes shut, silently inviting Jaehyun to kiss him. Not even a moment later, he feels it: his soft lips on his. Jaehyun lets out a silent groan, propping himself only on his forearms to feel Jacob’s body against his. No matter how many times they’ve kissed, Jacob can’t get used to the feeling. All of the sensations: Jaehyun’s lips moving slowly and occasionally roughly against his, his knee lodged in between Jacob’s thighs, the jittery beat of his heart… Jacob feels like he’s on cloud nine.

Jaehyun leans even closer, tilting his head down to catch onto Jacob’s bottom lip, biting it briefly. Jacob gasps quietly, tangling his fingers in Jaehyun’s curly hair. He pulls it at some point, causing Jaehyun to hum in interest. 

It’s about to get even more heated when Jacob suddenly widens his eyes and shoots up. Jaehyun yelps in surprise, almost being knocked off the bed by how fast Jacob pushes him off.

“I’m offended,” Jaehyun groans, rubbing his shoulder.

Jacob smiles apologetically. “Sorry.”

“Was my kissing not good enough?”

Jacob stares at him like he’s crazy. Far from that. Jaehyun’s a great kisser actually.

“No. I just forgot something.”

“Forgot what?”

Jacob sighs. “I forgot to write a song that Younghoon’s been nagging about. What if he shoves a music note up my–”

“Hey, hey, angel. Take a deep breath.” Jaehyun scoots closer to him and smiles fondly. “Why do you always think of the worst possible scenario? Like that one time you thought I was going to arrest you for… what– kissing me too much?”

Jacob grumbles, batting him away shyly. “I can’t help it. I feel clingy. Also, stop calling me that.”

“What, angel?”

“Yes, it’s… embarrassing,” He mutters, looking down at his lap.

“You can’t stop me,” Jaehyun replies playfully. “Or else I’ll arrest you.”

Jacob’s eyes narrow and he shoves him. But instead of shoving back, Jaehyun turns Jacob around easily and wraps his arms around his middle, pulling him into a tight back hug as he rests his chin on his shoulder. They sit in the middle of the bed, Jaehyun clinging onto Jacob like he’s his lifeline and Jacob staring ahead, completely unimpressed.

“You know, I can always help,” Jaehyun whispers. When Jacob stays silent, he clarifies, “With the lyrics.”

Jacob shakes his head, turning his head to look at Jaehyun who’s still resting on his shoulder. The man looks up and smiles dearly, his eyes crinkling in an adorable way. “I know that. But you’re always on duty since Christmas ended.”

Jaehyun grins wider, his eyes twinkling with mischievousness. His hands caress over Jacob’s stomach, tickling him slightly. “Miss me?”

“Yes.” Jacob sulks, his eyes softening and a small pout appearing on his lips. “I missed you.”

Jaehyun visibly melts, nuzzling back into Jacob’s neck–his favorite spot, he once admitted. He said that he smells especially good there and Jacob’s not too sure why. He giggles to himself, continuing to let his hands wander over Jacob’s body.

“God, I love you so much.” He smiles against his skin.

“Okay, shut up,” Jacob blurts out, completely flustered. Still, though, he doesn’t make an effort to pry Jaehyun off of him. Instead, he reaches over and grabs the notebook sitting on his nightstand. He keeps it there in case he gets a good lyric idea while he’s dreaming.

He opens it to one of the blank pages and clicks at his pen impatiently.

“What’s it going to be about?” Jaehyun asks, peeking over his shoulder. His voice vibrates through his chest and onto Jacob’s back which he finds all too comforting and… sleep-inducing.

“Love.”

“Really?” Jaehyun asks with a gradually teasing tone. “Why, because you’re so well-versed in it now?”

Jacob smiles to himself. He’s always been the one to reject Jaehyun’s flirtatious attempts. But at this moment in time, with his warm body against his and the record player playing soft music in the background, he has the urge to just tell the truth.

“I am. I finally experienced the feeling of falling in love.” He pauses, biting his lip shyly. “With you.”

Jaehyun’s frozen for a moment before turning Jacob around. His eyes have darkened and there’s admiration written all over his face.

“Do you want me to pin you down and kiss you right here, right no–”

“No. Calm yourself,” Jacob groans, rolling his eyes. Don’t get him wrong, he would definitely take up that offer… if it weren’t for Younghoon who’s probably going to murder him soon. 

He turns back to his notebook and he starts flipping to his past pages in order to spark some sort of inspiration. But instead, he gets nothing. He doesn’t even notice Jaehyun who’s started to peek over his shoulder. Suddenly, a familiar hand splays out over one of the pages, preventing Jacob from turning it.

“Jaehyun?” He glances back at him in confusion. When he looks down, that’s when he realizes that it’s the lyrics to one of the song titles from his own album. Kindle to be exact. He gasps quietly and tries to slam the notebook closed. But of course, Jaehyun’s always been the stronger one.

“Jacob,” The man speaks in a low, warning voice.

“Jaehyun?” Jacob’s voice on the other hand is meek and nervous.

Jaehyun turns Jacob around once again, this time so that they’re fully facing each other, sitting cross-legged on the bed. He raises an eyebrow with an interrogating look.

“Do you have something to tell me?”

Jacob desperately tries to avoid eye contact–something that Jaehyun always notices and points out anyway. “...no?”

“That you literally made and sang the music that I listen to late at night? And I didn’t know?”

Jacob whines, “My singing voice is significantly different than my talking voice.”

When Jaehyun notices that he’s started to fidget nervously, he smiles softly and reaches forward, pulling Jacob into a firm hug. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He asks with a gentle tone.

“I’m…”

“You know that you don’t have to hide things from me, right?” Jaehyun pulls away, looking deep into Jacob’s eyes with a loving smile. Jacob’s still getting used to letting Jaehyun in on who he is. He’s always been closed off, anxious to tell others about himself as he’s so used to being alone. And so, he truly does appreciate it when Jaehyun nudges him into a new direction.

“I know that,” Jacob mutters, his cheeks flushing. “I’m just… shy.”

Jaehyun stiffens, staring at him in shock. But, Jacob can see the corners of his lips lifting slightly in amusement.

“You’re shy,” The man repeats in astonishment and disbelief.

“Yeah,” He whines. “Because you’re going to make a big deal about it and kiss me all over or something.”

“You’re right.” Jaehyun eyes him smugly. “I am going to make a big deal about it. And thanks for the idea.”

Again, like many other times because Jaehyun’s just so needy, he suddenly pins Jacob back down onto the bed, holding his hands in place on either side of his head. Then, he leans down, kissing every single feature of Jacob’s face. He starts with his forehead and works his way down before finally stopping at his lips. He lingers there for a moment before gently pressing their lips together–different from the other quick pecks, this one is sensual and full of love.

Jacob lets out a muffled sound but it isn’t one of protest. Instead, he feels butterflies erupt all throughout his stomach.

“You’re so amazing, Jacob,” Jaehyun mutters, pulling away to look straight into his eyes.

“I…” Jacob stares at him with wide eyes before covering his face as he garbles out incoherent words. When Jaehyun only laughs and continues to stare at him like he’s the brightest star in the sky, Jacob finally gains the strength to push him off. “Enough. I have to write lyrics now.”

Jaehyun pouts. “Let me help.”

Jacob ultimately complies. They sit together on the bed, bundled up in blankets as he scribbles words onto paper while Jaehyun occasionally suggests rhymes and better adjectives. Jacob hums, satisfied. “How would you describe the person that you’ve fallen in love with?”

Jaehyun turns to stare straight at Jacob’s lips. Very typical of him.

“Cute,” He immediately replies. “Brown hair and darker brown eyes. Kissable lips. Adorable ears.”

“Jaehyun,” Jacob warns, trying not to dwell upon the fact that Jaehyun called his ears adorable.

“Fine, how would you describe the person you’ve fallen in love with?”

“Well, he would be…” Jacob glares at him, noticing that the man smirks once he hears the word he. “He would be kind.”

Jaehyun blinks at him, disappointed. “That’s it?”

“And…” Jacob sighs, willing himself not to get flustered all over again. He’s done that way too many times today. “He would have curly hair. And pretty eyes with annoyingly long eyelashes. And–”

Jaehyun grins wider. “Sounds like me.”

Jacob smiles softly, letting his hand trail down Jaehyun’s firm chest to find his very empty-looking hand. He lets his fingertips spread across his palm, opening up his fist so that he can fit their hands together. 

“It is you.”

When Jacob looks up, he’s not too surprised to see Jaehyun staring back with an absolutely lovesick smile that probably mirrors his own. When Jacob lets out an unintentional giggle, that’s what sets Jaehyun even further into a spiral.

“God, I really love you,” Jaehyun whispers, his eyes sparkling brightly.

Jacob scrunches his nose. “Love you too.”

“How about less lyrics and more kissing?” Jaehyun gives him those stupid puppy-dog eyes. For someone who’s taller and looks intimidating in a police uniform, he’s awfully good at getting what he wants.

Jacob bites his lip and tries to make a quick pros and cons list, only to fail after noticing that Jaehyun’s started to lean closer anyway. He always smells good, sweet like the holidays.

“...fine.”

Jaehyun breathes out a laugh before pinning Jacob back down on the bed. He kisses Jacob until their breath has run out. He kisses Jacob until he’s only left with shuddery exhales and red marks on his neck. He kisses Jacob until his lips are swollen and so red that they match the ribbon wrapped around the mistletoe that Jaehyun held up when they first kissed.

The Christmas season is over. All that’s left of the year is New Year's. Which–is ironically to celebrate the end of said year. Jacob can never be happier. 

At a cozy party, alongside all the people he’s grown to adore, Jacob finds himself smiling to himself as he leans against the balcony. He ignores the snow that flutters down and lands in his hair and onto his face, leaving him shivering slightly. Instead, he focuses on the sight through the glass doors that lead into Juyeon’s apartment.

Haknyeon’s chatting on and on about something, his mouth moving a mile a minute while Younghoon stares at him, clearly alarmed by his ability to ramble so much. Sunwoo and Eric are in the corner, still trying to figure out their young love. They’re full of flustered giggles and drunken gazes which Jacob finds very endearing. Juyeon's chatting with Changmin. Except, he's more fumbling with his words. But hey, at least they're talking now and even smiling. Then, there’s Jaehyun. 

Sweet, sweet Jaehyun. He catches the eye of Jacob and smiles. He approaches the glass door and opens it to join Jacob on the balcony. Silently, they both turn to peer out into the night sky, decorated with stars and white snowflakes.

“It’s cold outside. What’re you doing here?” Jaehyun looks at him with a soft gaze.

“I like it. It’s–”

“Warm?” Jaehyun finishes his sentence for him. “You always say that. In a poetic way. But one day, you’re going to actually catch a cold. And who’s going to take care of you when that happens?”

Jacob smiles shyly and bumps him with his shoulder. “You, of course.”

Jaehyun huffs. “Of course I will. You know me.”

Jacob hums and stares back out into the view. Then, he glances at the time on the watch of Jaehyun’s wrist. 

11:59

Jacob turns to him, gently taking hold of Jaehyun’s collar. 

“Happy new year.”

And then he pulls him into a heart-fluttering kiss. Immediately, Jaehyun’s hand comes to his waist, guiding him closer. Jacob smiles into the kiss, wrapping his arms around his neck.

Suddenly, they’re interrupted by the sound of the door sliding open. They break apart and smile awkwardly once Juyeon’s walking in.

“Sorry,” He scrambles to say. “I didn’t mean to interrupt you. My head’s still a bit off.”

Jaehyun laughs, pulling Juyeon to the balcony as well. The couple expects Juyeon to start a conversation but instead, he just stares at them in perplexion. Jaehyun raises an eyebrow.

“What’s up?”

Juyeon shakes his head. “I’ve had this killer headache for the longest time but now that it’s mostly gone, I can finally process this.”

“Process what?” Jacob tilts his head.

“You two being together.” Juyeon stares in astonishment. “How come I’ve never noticed?”

Jaehyun scratches the back of his neck nervously. “Well…”

“When did you two… you know, fall in love?” Juyeon stares at them, completely innocently. 

The snow falls over them. Now that Jacob thinks about it, the snow is what holds a lot of the memories he’s experienced this holiday. There’s a saying that water holds memory. Perfect for the holidays, that water’s now frozen into pretty snowflakes. It snowed whenever he fell just a step closer in love with Jaehyun. 

When they first met back in the hospital room, it snowed. As they went through ups and downs, full of confusion and feelings, it snowed. When they smiled and felt their heartbeat in their ears, it snowed. When they first pressed their lips together, it snowed.

Jacob looks away from the sky and back down to Juyeon, giving him a fond smile.

“While you were sleeping.”