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Dear Haibara-san.
As I sit down to write this letter in the dead of the night, there are many thoughts swarming my mind. Like a never-ending white noise, always humming softly somewhere far away, quiet and faint but ever-present.
You know, I always had issues with voicing and capturing what exactly I feel in letters, but this time, it didn’t take me long to decide that under no circumstances could I leave you without it. Maybe it’s better like this, maybe it will help the raging storm to calm down and resolve itself with each word I will leave behind. Or maybe the tempest will only pick up, leaving me with more questions than I had before, and fewer answers than I would like. I sincerely hope that the former will be the case. All in all, I truly hope this letter finds you well. That you will read it and possibly, have some answers for me yourself. I would love to hear your thoughts.
First off, I’d like to apologise for not being able to attend our weekly meeting tomorrow, as much as I was looking forward to it. In hopes of making it up for you though, I am going to leave you my annotated version of the book we wanted to talk with you about, as well as the fried rice I prepared for you and Nanamin. I hope you’ll enjoy it! It’s more on the spicy side but I made sure it was well-balanced with healthy sides, just like Ane-san taught me!
I looked deep inside of me when reading the book you recommended Nanamin, immersed myself in the vast pages, absorbed every word written in the dark ink scattered across the paper. Honestly, the story was like an amazing journey I set out on just a few days ago, wishing I had done it much sooner than that. Weaving between the realms of reality and imagination I truly had a hard time putting it down, not to mention closing it after reading the last chapter. Sitting there for a good part of an hour, staring at the rain colliding with the window in my room, just thinking. It felt like an eloquent symphony, like going through motions so well thought out it made my head spin at times. A melody composed by the universe itself. Melancholy and beauty dosed in equal measures, clashing together right until the climax. I can see why you like it so much, and I can see why you recommended it to Nanamin. I might have not talked with him about it yet, but I can already tell he loved every second of it.
I was never a fast reader in my life, most books and comics always took me embarrassingly long to get through, to the point where it felt like a chore. But this one was different. A nice change of pace, almost. Because truth to be told I read it all in one sitting, too invested to even annotate it for the first time. The words just kept on coming, my imagination running wild and recreating the scenic locations faster than my eyes could keep up. I even found myself carefully tracing the map included in the beginning with my finger, feeling satisfaction and excitement when the main cast slowly moved forward. Exploring the world they were in and themselves, bonding and breaking apart. Is that how an adventure is supposed to look like, Haibara-san?
With each turn of the page, each sentence that was carefully thought out and carved as if in a block of gold, I drank in all and danced around all the metaphors, losing myself somewhere in time and space, still there, but not quite. Shoko, my older sister, told me I was present only in the body, my mind running off to the sublime clearings and mountains, towering over my head. Their peaks covered in fresh snow. It was as if each word had a meaning, it had its rightful place on the page binding the story together. I think it was the muted playfulness that drew me in, words just seamlessly fitting with each other like a perfect jigsaw puzzle I was meant to solve. Some of the phrases carving deep into my mind along the way.
"In the silence and void between beating hearts, where all of eternity resides, we find the echoes of our truest selves, reverberating beautifully." Did you also love this quote as much as I did, Haibara-san? It spoke to me in a language I never thought I could understand, made me physically stop and take a deep breath. It lingered in my mind for days, cutting deep into me as if it were a sharpened knife. I never cared much for books, I never had a reason to. Thank you for opening my mind and broadening my horizons.
It was delightfully poetic, in a way I never thought I would be able to understand. Are all books you read like that? Do all of them pull on the heartstrings to play the most enamouring melody a human being could hear? Capturing you in their claws, making you want to keep reading just one more page, and one more after that? I never met you personally, but I feel like they fit you to a tea.
It didn’t take long for me to dread the end. I foolishly thought the journey would end once the last word is read and the book is closed, but that’s not the case, is it? Because I didn’t just read the book, my soul was forcibly taken out of my body, thrown into the realm where time seemed to slow down, almost to a stop, and where each word carried the weight of countless centuries. Like cherry blossoms in full bloom, breath-taking and ephemeral at the same time, living in the moment and taking full advantage of it to show their true, vibrant colours to people who stop to look . “The faint murmurs of dawn carry the ghosts of our pasts, somehow everlasting yet temporary as a soft wind caressing the face of time.” Thank you, for helping me understand that.
In actuality, I read the book more than once. The second time to annotate. Fill the pages with colourful tags and experience the journey once more. Even the map on the first page wasn’t spared from the tiny notes recalling what I felt in certain locations. Third, to write down all the quotes that made my heart stutter. The sad and happy ones, the ones that made me laugh or cry as I lived through the pain of the characters with them. The fourth, and final one for now, just for my own satisfaction. I hope its words resonated with the poetic chords of your soul, as they did with mine. Thank you again, for allowing me to join that amazing journey.
And would you look at that, the storm finally subsided.
Until we meet again, Haibara-san. Please, take care of Nanamin for me today, will you?
With warm regards,
Itadori Yuji